this man has a soothing voice. If this doesn't work for you get a paper write what you want to do write the things you are scared of and cross out the ones you can change and deal with what you can't, it helps with confidence
Great video! The content reminds me a lot of Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". I think the key is to genuinely listen to others and genuinely understand their feelings and situation. This sincerity is what I think ultimately leads to others trusting you, and in turn opening up to you.
Wow thank you so much for this... As a mother of very adult children this is more pertinent than ever... I'm getting so much of this wrong. Now I see a way to improve.
Dr. Jenkins, you are so charismatic! It's so pleasurable to listen to/watch your videos! And the information is so valuable! I am so glad to have found you! Many thanks! Wish you the best!
This is brilliant in its simplicity and power. It sheds light on all of our interactions. Now I understand why I often make people feel defensive and resistant, even though I want to be of service to them. I have new eyes. Thank you for sharing this!
How appropriate that this video is released on the very day that my daughter returns from an 18-month volunteer missionary experience. This is the daughter I refer to in the video and she gets this! DrPaul
So powerful something I need to listen to again so that it makes me a better me. Very helpful at this time as my teen and I are working thru things. thank u
I just found your channel and it is excellent. Thank you for this video. Do you have tips on examples of conversations in the green? And maybe how to avoid looking for others to like you? Thanks so much!
Hello@@LiveOnPurposeTV, would you be so kind as to tell me the name of the second video on the green section? (If you had had the time to make it I mean, I understand that you must be very busy with life and everything..)
Absolutely, positively, some of the best content and well put together video that I have seen on TH-cam! Please keep doing what you're doing! You are helping us live our best life! 🤗
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you!!! I can't wait to watch them! I am just in the process of putting together a TH-cam channel with my 9 year old son (His Idea). Any way he asked me two years ago and I have been dragging my feet. For obvious reasons. It's a scary world out there. Your videos have helped me with this in many ways. I would love your input once we get it up and going if thats ok? I will let you know. He's a bit of a little psychologist himself LOL!
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Will do! There has been so much to consider. Most of it is the effect that it will have on him now and in the future! But I will let you know.
Lumi, we get into it more at the membership site, go.liveonpurposecentral.com. My book is Pathological Positivity, www.drpauljenkins.com. Thanks for asking.
I left and can't turn back but if he ever finds the courage to approach me and try again I want to be prepared, so I'm here learning. I trust that he will be back. I want to be able to meet him halfway.
West Coast Or Bust, I love that you are open and positive even when you have no signals that anything will happen soon. Trust the timing of the universe and everything will come back.
The influence quaderant is a brilliant tool in helping to understand emotions. Your fun to learn from and a Super Gem . This paradox was a tricky thing to solve but with practice and using your quaderant it will become easier. Do you have a similar tool in how to help someone get their interests back ? And also one where someone knows things needs doing but can not get focused into picking up the task to be done ? I put your skills onto our fridge to remember how you explain it and where anyone can see it, we chat over our coffees. This should be taught in all the schools to help all the children. Thank you lots for your brilliant advices and the subtitles too.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for helping,I appreciate it. These videos really help alot. I will be watching them again and again. I tried others but they are talking too fast,I can keep up with you because you break it down nicely and stick to the subject. The diagrams are a big help because visual is so much easier to remember. You're character is gold . Thank you loads : )
I tried this GIT SO MANY FRIENDS valuable long lasting friendships! Plus it definitely works I wonder why people just OPEN UP AND SPILL ALL The NEWS lol applying this works naturally. It's the Mind Science here
Great video. Though I wish there would be more examples about the green quadrant. The idea is understandable, but I am not sure how to successfully get there. Thanks!
Excellent video. But..., I have a question. If I go into the green quadrant won't I be putting the person I'm listening to into the red quadrant, making them self-conscious and anxious?
Dr. Jenkins, I love that video of yours and I'm excited to find a psychologist. I happen to have a dream of becoming a psychologist just like you, but I got less than no idea of the how-to stuffs....where can I find the guide who walks me towards there??
Once Aponatime, I would look at schools around you and what they offer. They have counselors that will be able to tell you about the different programs available to where you live.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV 😮 I got a reply!! Yeah, I understand. People say that I'm too young to layout the pathway, and some just say that my dreams will drift to something else when time passes, perhaps they're true, or perhaps I haven't asked to the right person yet. I'm fifteen, and the thing is, I just wanna improve my talking skills that would sound worthy enough for a psychologist, please bear to read this whole paragraph, apologies that I have texted a lot, that's one of my flaw... I guess I belong to the red quadrant category. Any other ways to contact you, other than messing up your comment box??😂😂 - Once Aponatime
I definitely feel I fall into the Criticism area quite often, both with my kids and also with my wife. So the tough question: what are things I can do to practice "being in the green" without it shifting into "How others feel about me" or right back to "How I feel about others?" Look forward to your feedback. Thanks!
Thanks again for watching, VID801. It takes practice to stay in the green quadrant. When you realize that you have slipped out of the green, you can always do a do-over. Perhaps you can have a visual reminder, like print out your own quadrant or as one of my clients did, put a reminder in your phone to "stay green".
So the point is that in order for us to have influence and be loved, we need to lead someone we are wanting to influence into the red quadrant of self-consciousness. Isn't that what therapy is? Getting people to talk about how they feel about themselves? How else will someone become self aware? What quadrant is mindfulness in? Do all non green quadrants have any redeeming value or should they be avoided except presumably during a therapy session? Secondary feelings and focus are not unimportant, just not primary. Complete avoidance of how do I feel about me seems counter-productive. Were you possibly saying that these three quadrants should only be avoided when trying to get someone to open up to you or respect/love you? Then where are the positive words associated with the other quadrants? If someone is being honest with how they feel about themselves or me, it makes me want to reciprocate (such as with a friend or my daughter) and open up also. Either the chart is so simplistic as to be unhelpful or the video is too short and lacking in important detail. I normally enjoy all your videos. This one left me scratching my head.
premiumphoto1234, This is a whole conversation that I am not sure I can answer in comments. We don't necessarily need to avoid all the quadrants, this is just about being conscious of where we are and what we are doing. There will be times that we share and that is how we connect with others. I will consider doing more on this to clarify.
I'm still working on the book, Cathy Hatch! The green quadrant is where my focus (first person) is on how you feel about yourself. So when you are interacting with someone, forget about yourself and genuinely focus on how the other person feels about him or herself. Thanks for watching.
Here are the lyrics. Lyrics We are free to decide We will love and let love We are free to believe We will love and let love I saw her standing in the street alone Her head was down, face locked onto the phone And I wished I had her number so I could be "caller unknown" And then I tell her "Look into my eyes, and never let it go" We are free to decide We will love and let love We are free to believe We will love and let love Love and let love (Love and let love) (Love and let love) Love and let love We are free to decide We will love and let love We are free to believe We will love and let love Don't let it go, or we never might find it again Don't let it go, 'cause we never might find it again As I was about to open her door I saw the guys that she was waiting for He had no flowers in his hands and no time to say "Hello" If were in his place I know, I would've kissed her slow We are free to decide We will love and let love We are free to believe We will love and let love Love and let love (Love and let love) (Love and let love) Love and let love We are free to decide We will love and let love We are free to believe We will love and let love Don't let it go, or we never might find it again Don't let it go, 'cause we never might find it again
Thank you, All Things Kpop. Isn't it wonderful when we can add a new tool? Psychological maturity is all about strengthening our skills in dealing with other people.
Hello Dr Paul. Amazing and very well done and informative video. I would just like to ask, I personally find it very difficult to get into that green zone of "What do you think about you" when talking to someone. Would there be any tips or phrases that could transition a conversation into this? Thank you
This paradox is really frustrating because that's how it goes for me. I maybe just have a hard time dealing with a problem with another person and need direct guidance. I have a friend and we had serious problems in the past that I can't completely let go. We had periods where we didn't talk for more than a year but somehow we always end up again on the same conversation we've been having for 2 years. Recently I just decided that I just need to let it go, because he acknowledged his mistakes but doesn't know how to properly apologize which for both of us is miscommunication. When I dropped my grudge, I'm still asking a question, why are you always coming back in to my life? What purpose can I give you? What are your feeling towards it? And I always get nothing because the person grew up strangely and now has a kind of a barrier where he doesn't let people in. He doesn't show the weak side of him and always portrays that he doesn't care about anything. At one point we concluded that maybe it's a sign of a high ego, but I need to know what he feels. Because he hurt me, I forgave him. Even though we fight all the time, he still comes back, but he doesn't say why. How can I influence him to open up to people and talk about what he really feels. How can I stay in the green quadrant to influence him about something that's clearly in the brown quadrant. I'm just completely lost now. And I can't just end the friendship. He is a great person overall but he is like a brick wall that doesn't care about a thing in the world, only about himself. And doesn't let anybody in.
I think you could use the same principles, SwaggBunny. Listening and making sure they know you are hearing them are vital. Give plenty of time for them answer. When they feel safe, they are more likely to open up.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV You're welcome! White may represent love, due to it's lack of colours on the outside, while it has all the colours in the inside... Unbelievable, right? Psychology shouldn't be that traditional since it aims to be a science, but should leave open space to its development. I guess you had green for love, as it symbolically have been chosen (by intellectuals not folks) to represents "permission" to go on. True love certainly contains more than permission, and sometimes even stops a permission which doesn't lead one to good...
Critism is authority puting self above HOW do you feel about you! Influence serve others as the same parts of your brain that go of when having sex and eating food will fire and wire so serve!
They need consequences for their action. Sorry you messed up bud, how are you going to fix it? If the response is not sufficient, let them know how they are going to fix it. They are not in the green quadrant and have a lot of work to do.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you! I tried it and it did help me communicate better. I started by sharing how I feel about myself so the next person would feel comfortable with sharing the same. Also, thank you for breaking down the model because most of us don't want to be critical, judgemental, insecure or anxious in our communications!
Hosam mohammad, we try to understand them so there are questions and observations. We are asking questions to get to know the other person and make a connection. We ask questions to get them to talk. If we see that there is somewhere we can help, we jump in. Your focus needs to be on how the other person feels so the questions should come from that place.
How does knowledge about how people feel gives you influence? How much influence someone has over me is dependent on what i think of them. Also you didn't speak at all about getting people to open up. Mandatory thumbs down.
this man has a soothing voice. If this doesn't work for you get a paper write what you want to do write the things you are scared of and cross out the ones you can change and deal with what you can't, it helps with confidence
Thank you for the suggestion.
This is fantastic. I see how I deal with my children now that makes them close up and not hear me. I need to go from purple to green!
Sarah S, go green! So excited for the relationship that is there for you and your children.
Beautiful..
Psychology, philosophicaly explained. Nothing short of excellent sir. Please keep posting on such videos.
Ms. Jaisy George, I hope to continue for a long time.
I feel like watching this over and over again
charles lubega, go for it. I love that with TH-cam the video don't disappear.
Great video! The content reminds me a lot of Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". I think the key is to genuinely listen to others and genuinely understand their feelings and situation. This sincerity is what I think ultimately leads to others trusting you, and in turn opening up to you.
Gabriel Lantican, thank you. Glad you enjoyed the video.
If I like that ? Are you kidding me ?! I LOVE this ! Wow ! Eyes opening, awareness increasing, it opens up to solutions. Thank you.
You are welcome, A22 Lovelife. Thank you for watching.
Wow thank you so much for this... As a mother of very adult children this is more pertinent than ever... I'm getting so much of this wrong. Now I see a way to improve.
Caroline, honored to be on your team.
Dr Paul, your videos keep on giving…5 years on.
Happy Christmas. This really helped.
Thank you, it is hard to believe we have been at this that long. Hope we can continue, please share the videos with others.
Dr. Jenkins, you are so charismatic! It's so pleasurable to listen to/watch your videos! And the information is so valuable! I am so glad to have found you! Many thanks! Wish you the best!
Thanks AliceQQQ - glad you're here! DrPaul
This is brilliant in its simplicity and power. It sheds light on all of our interactions. Now I understand why I often make people feel defensive and resistant, even though I want to be of service to them. I have new eyes. Thank you for sharing this!
So pleased to hear that this was meaningful to you Douglas - it is a simple but powerful model. DrPaul
Thank you. Just thank you. I feel like you shook awake my mind, body, and spirit.
I love that feeling! Better days ahead.
you are SO good at this holy cow
Thanks, Sharon K., I love my job.
How appropriate that this video is released on the very day that my daughter returns from an 18-month volunteer missionary experience. This is the daughter I refer to in the video and she gets this! DrPaul
Are you guys mormons?
I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
I love all your videos and your efforts to make us to benefit from it. I feel very lucky to find it. I respect you so much. May Allah bless you sir.
Congratulations to your daughter three years later. ❤️
Thanks this helps a lot, a close friend is struggling and I really want to help them as they helped me a bunch in the past
I hope it works and your friend gets the relief they need.
So powerful something I need to listen to again so that it makes me a better me. Very helpful at this time as my teen and I are working thru things. thank u
Deborah Wood, honored to be on your team.
Brilliant, so wonderful! Thank you for this. The good lord knows I needed this
Saretta Ramos, Glad it arrived on time.
This is a jewel. Thank you very much for sharing your wisdom.
Thanks Charo Lloret - this particular principle has made a big difference for me, so I'm happy to share it. Thanks for watching. DrPaul
I just found your channel and it is excellent. Thank you for this video. Do you have tips on examples of conversations in the green? And maybe how to avoid looking for others to like you? Thanks so much!
Ghana Goddess - I'll do another video along those lines - thanks for the request! DrPaul
Hello@@LiveOnPurposeTV, would you be so kind as to tell me the name of the second video on the green section? (If you had had the time to make it I mean, I understand that you must be very busy with life and everything..)
Yes me too. I have no idea. My parents were non-existent and now i have depressed children so I have no idea what green could possibly be.
I would also love some examples on how to go green. I love your book by the way
@@grelicee628 ihthtwi
Absolutely, positively, some of the best content and well put together video that I have seen on TH-cam! Please keep doing what you're doing! You are helping us live our best life! 🤗
I love this TH-cam audience and I plan to continue for a long time, R. Ray.
A Paradox but really logical. I totally agree
Thank you, honored to be on your team.
Thank you so much for all that you do to make the world a much better place!!! Keep em' coming!
I plan to continue, Linda Hardy. Just filmed another month of videos.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you!!! I can't wait to watch them! I am just in the process of putting together a TH-cam channel with my 9 year old son (His Idea). Any way he asked me two years ago and I have been dragging my feet. For obvious reasons. It's a scary world out there. Your videos have helped me with this in many ways. I would love your input once we get it up and going if thats ok? I will let you know. He's a bit of a little psychologist himself LOL!
How fun for you two, Linda Hardy. Let me know when it goes live.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Will do! There has been so much to consider. Most of it is the effect that it will have on him now and in the future! But I will let you know.
Honestly a great video, I can see how this works, thank you!
This is one of the best videos ive ever seen on yt
Thank you! That means a lot.
Insightful and colorful lesson ☆ Thank you Dr. Jenkins! Favorited.
I am honored, Kate Hu! Thanks for watching.
GREAT VIDEO - Love this. Works for any situation at any age or stage of life at home and work.
You are correct, Mark A Carbone. Principles are universal and can be applied different ways.
Fantastic, wow ...Dr do you have more on the green quadrant ?
Would you pls share the name of your book with more details on going green?
Lumi, we get into it more at the membership site, go.liveonpurposecentral.com. My book is Pathological Positivity, www.drpauljenkins.com. Thanks for asking.
Wow!! This is really impactful!!
I'm Listening, Thank you.
I left and can't turn back but if he ever finds the courage to approach me and try again I want to be prepared, so I'm here learning. I trust that he will be back. I want to be able to meet him halfway.
West Coast Or Bust, I love that you are open and positive even when you have no signals that anything will happen soon. Trust the timing of the universe and everything will come back.
The influence quaderant is a brilliant tool in helping to understand emotions. Your fun to learn from and a Super Gem . This paradox was a tricky thing to solve but with practice and using your quaderant it will become easier.
Do you have a similar tool in how to help someone get their interests back ?
And also one where someone knows things needs doing but can not get focused into picking up the task to be done ?
I put your skills onto our fridge to remember how you explain it and where anyone can see it, we chat over our coffees. This should be taught in all the schools to help all the children.
Thank you lots for your brilliant advices and the subtitles too.
Take a look at the playlist, Rachel Tomlinson, I have done some videos on these topics that might be helpful. Appreciate your watching and commenting.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for helping,I appreciate it. These videos really help alot. I will be watching them again and again. I tried others but they are talking too fast,I can keep up with you because you break it down nicely and stick to the subject. The diagrams are a big help because visual is so much easier to remember. You're character is gold .
Thank you loads : )
Hello, it would help me to understand more if i can have few examples of the green colour quarter of the above square in the video, pleaseee.
Jyoti Negi, we go into this in detail at our membership site: go.liveonpurposecentral.com.
So the green zone is about empathy (including compassion...)?
Yes, for more help you can join our membership site at go.liveonpurposecentral.com.
I tried this GIT SO MANY FRIENDS valuable long lasting friendships! Plus it definitely works I wonder why people just OPEN UP AND SPILL ALL The NEWS lol applying this works naturally. It's the Mind Science here
Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment.
Just wow. Thank you for this video🙏🏾
Linnah Mumbels-Heeb, Honored to be on your team.
Great video. Though I wish there would be more examples about the green quadrant. The idea is understandable, but I am not sure how to successfully get there. Thanks!
Anastasia Kuc, consider a membership to go.liveonpurposecentral.com for our discussion groups, Ask Dr. Paul and Office Hours with Dr. Paul.
love the quadrants, feeling brown, need to be more green.
Go green my friend! Powerful concept. DrPaul
I needed to hear this thank you
Aroz Matthews, you are very welcome.
Excellent video. But..., I have a question. If I go into the green quadrant won't I be putting the person I'm listening to into the red quadrant, making them self-conscious and anxious?
Fritz Douma, surprisingly, no. It really doesn't work that way. Give it a try.
Yes great question. For me when people are "in the green quadrant," I think they are trying to be my therapist and I don't like it.
Dr. Jenkins, I love that video of yours and I'm excited to find a psychologist. I happen to have a dream of becoming a psychologist just like you, but I got less than no idea of the how-to stuffs....where can I find the guide who walks me towards there??
Once Aponatime, I would look at schools around you and what they offer. They have counselors that will be able to tell you about the different programs available to where you live.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV 😮 I got a reply!! Yeah, I understand. People say that I'm too young to layout the pathway, and some just say that my dreams will drift to something else when time passes, perhaps they're true, or perhaps I haven't asked to the right person yet. I'm fifteen, and the thing is, I just wanna improve my talking skills that would sound worthy enough for a psychologist, please bear to read this whole paragraph, apologies that I have texted a lot, that's one of my flaw... I guess I belong to the red quadrant category. Any other ways to contact you, other than messing up your comment box??😂😂
- Once Aponatime
Wonderful, thanks Dr
Most welcome!
I definitely feel I fall into the Criticism area quite often, both with my kids and also with my wife. So the tough question: what are things I can do to practice "being in the green" without it shifting into "How others feel about me" or right back to "How I feel about others?" Look forward to your feedback. Thanks!
Thanks again for watching, VID801. It takes practice to stay in the green quadrant. When you realize that you have slipped out of the green, you can always do a do-over. Perhaps you can have a visual reminder, like print out your own quadrant or as one of my clients did, put a reminder in your phone to "stay green".
Live On Purpose TV thanks for the feedback. I’ll print something out today and give that a try.
Thank you this was very helpful and informative 👍👍
Diontae Daughtry, honored to be on your team.
Any practical scenarios for the green quadrant
Al May, that doesn't sound like fun. I wish you the best.
Great way to put this in perspective!! Thank you
Glad you enjoyed the video, David Cooper 09261974. Honored to be on your team.
Have another think about that profile pic of yours David Cooper. Are you sure that's the message you want to be sending
How do I really do it tho, like get in the green box, how do I think about how they feel
Dylan Bell, you can ask them.
How do you do this naturally? When I'm talking with people that try to soothe me or be my therapist it is off putting.
RDJ, tell them what you need. Let them know what works with you.
So the point is that in order for us to have influence and be loved, we need to lead someone we are wanting to influence into the red quadrant of self-consciousness. Isn't that what therapy is? Getting people to talk about how they feel about themselves? How else will someone become self aware? What quadrant is mindfulness in? Do all non green quadrants have any redeeming value or should they be avoided except presumably during a therapy session? Secondary feelings and focus are not unimportant, just not primary. Complete avoidance of how do I feel about me seems counter-productive. Were you possibly saying that these three quadrants should only be avoided when trying to get someone to open up to you or respect/love you? Then where are the positive words associated with the other quadrants? If someone is being honest with how they feel about themselves or me, it makes me want to reciprocate (such as with a friend or my daughter) and open up also. Either the chart is so simplistic as to be unhelpful or the video is too short and lacking in important detail. I normally enjoy all your videos. This one left me scratching my head.
premiumphoto1234, This is a whole conversation that I am not sure I can answer in comments. We don't necessarily need to avoid all the quadrants, this is just about being conscious of where we are and what we are doing. There will be times that we share and that is how we connect with others. I will consider doing more on this to clarify.
How do you get in the green box? Did you write your book the influence quadrant?
I'm still working on the book, Cathy Hatch! The green quadrant is where my focus (first person) is on how you feel about yourself. So when you are interacting with someone, forget about yourself and genuinely focus on how the other person feels about him or herself. Thanks for watching.
So good!!!!
Thank you, K.
Have you published the book ?
Fee, I have two books published, The Love Choice and Pathological Positivity. There is a smaller companion book, Portable Positivity.
Genius video damn!!!
Thank you, imGrisky.
in your theme music I can make out "We are" and nothing else. What is the rest?
Here are the lyrics. Lyrics
We are free to decide
We will love and let love
We are free to believe
We will love and let love
I saw her standing in the street alone
Her head was down, face locked onto the phone
And I wished I had her number so
I could be "caller unknown"
And then I tell her "Look into my eyes, and never let it go"
We are free to decide
We will love and let love
We are free to believe
We will love and let love
Love and let love
(Love and let love)
(Love and let love)
Love and let love
We are free to decide
We will love and let love
We are free to believe
We will love and let love
Don't let it go, or we never might find it again
Don't let it go, 'cause we never might find it again
As I was about to open her door
I saw the guys that she was waiting for
He had no flowers in his hands and no time to say "Hello"
If were in his place I know, I would've kissed her slow
We are free to decide
We will love and let love
We are free to believe
We will love and let love
Love and let love
(Love and let love)
(Love and let love)
Love and let love
We are free to decide
We will love and let love
We are free to believe
We will love and let love
Don't let it go, or we never might find it again
Don't let it go, 'cause we never might find it again
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Is there a full recording? Title? Artist?
look in the details of any video and there is a link to the song.
This video is amazing
Thank you, All Things Kpop. Isn't it wonderful when we can add a new tool? Psychological maturity is all about strengthening our skills in dealing with other people.
Good lesson. Thanks for sharing. Can you share more?
Absolutely WarriorSufi! Five new videos every week. Keep watching. DrPaul
Hello Dr Paul. Amazing and very well done and informative video. I would just like to ask, I personally find it very difficult to get into that green zone of "What do you think about you" when talking to someone. Would there be any tips or phrases that could transition a conversation into this? Thank you
As you talk and experiences are shared, ask them how they felt about that or what they learned from these experiences.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Cheers, Dr.
I’m hoping by commenting here I can find this comment again to write down since my IPAD won’t copy and paste into an email.
Do you help remotely
Yes, I see the majority of my clients by zoom. www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall.
This paradox is really frustrating because that's how it goes for me. I maybe just have a hard time dealing with a problem with another person and need direct guidance.
I have a friend and we had serious problems in the past that I can't completely let go.
We had periods where we didn't talk for more than a year but somehow we always end up again on the same conversation we've been having for 2 years. Recently I just decided that I just need to let it go, because he acknowledged his mistakes but doesn't know how to properly apologize which for both of us is miscommunication. When I dropped my grudge, I'm still asking a question, why are you always coming back in to my life? What purpose can I give you? What are your feeling towards it? And I always get nothing because the person grew up strangely and now has a kind of a barrier where he doesn't let people in. He doesn't show the weak side of him and always portrays that he doesn't care about anything. At one point we concluded that maybe it's a sign of a high ego, but I need to know what he feels. Because he hurt me, I forgave him. Even though we fight all the time, he still comes back, but he doesn't say why. How can I influence him to open up to people and talk about what he really feels. How can I stay in the green quadrant to influence him about something that's clearly in the brown quadrant. I'm just completely lost now. And I can't just end the friendship. He is a great person overall but he is like a brick wall that doesn't care about a thing in the world, only about himself. And doesn't let anybody in.
HazeLV, have him view the video with you and talk about the quadrants and see if it gets the conversation going.
This was mind-blowing! But, what if I need help with getting people to open up to me when it's not my first time meeting them? What can I do then?
I think you could use the same principles, SwaggBunny. Listening and making sure they know you are hearing them are vital. Give plenty of time for them answer. When they feel safe, they are more likely to open up.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV ohhh. Yeah ok! Thank you, this was all so helpful!😄
The green square here is love, but I would change its colour from green to white...
Mega Trivial, thanks for the suggestion.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV You're welcome! White may represent love, due to it's lack of colours on the outside, while it has all the colours in the inside... Unbelievable, right? Psychology shouldn't be that traditional since it aims to be a science, but should leave open space to its development. I guess you had green for love, as it symbolically have been chosen (by intellectuals not folks) to represents "permission" to go on. True love certainly contains more than permission, and sometimes even stops a permission which doesn't lead one to good...
Critism is authority puting self above
HOW do you feel about you! Influence serve others as the same parts of your brain that go of when having sex and eating food will fire and wire so serve!
Thanks for commenting, D birdflips.
You should do a Ted Talk! Perhaps you already have
I have done a TedX talk, would love to get a Ted Talk.
What would you say to your teen child that acted inappropriately in public because they were drunk?
They need consequences for their action. Sorry you messed up bud, how are you going to fix it? If the response is not sufficient, let them know how they are going to fix it. They are not in the green quadrant and have a lot of work to do.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you. Unfortunately she didn't think she did anything wrong! How do I make her see that it was in appropriate?
I like that !
Neat, huh? Thank you for watching, Marwa Gad.
It's so hard for me to open up to other people. If I focus on the "green", how others feel about themselves would this help me as well?
TammyJ Fox, I believe it would, give it a try, what have you got to lose? You may even gain a different perspective that serves you well.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you! I tried it and it did help me communicate better. I started by sharing how I feel about myself so the next person would feel comfortable with sharing the same. Also, thank you for breaking down the model because most of us don't want to be critical, judgemental, insecure or anxious in our communications!
You're the best
Thanks, Martin Ziggy. I believe I have the best subscribers!
Why do I feel like I'm in a therapy session... not a bad thing
Alexis, it's a good thing!
but there was never advice to help someone open up. help them open up about their problems.
I think there were a few ideas in there.
Alot of people don't want to open up
Camille Warren, yes, you are right, but when they do, we can make connections and help one another.
BTEC Alvin Stardust
?
🤔🤔🤔🤔
Thank you.
I am green but also red and orange at the same time. I want people to be green about me. Then I could let my anxiety and insecurity go forever.
One day at a time, karaqi4. Think green and positive.
👍👍
Thank you.
So how to be in the green? . Give me an example. What are the things we do that's green? I need an example to understand😂
Hosam mohammad, we try to understand them so there are questions and observations. We are asking questions to get to know the other person and make a connection. We ask questions to get them to talk. If we see that there is somewhere we can help, we jump in. Your focus needs to be on how the other person feels so the questions should come from that place.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for helping me🙏🏻
How To Get Someone To Open Up To You aka How To Get Someone To Enable Getting Killed
Celebrity_rooster, not sure what you are trying to say. We have to watch our motives.
🥰♥️🙏🏻
Hello Sarah.
How does knowledge about how people feel gives you influence? How much influence someone has over me is dependent on what i think of them. Also you didn't speak at all about getting people to open up. Mandatory thumbs down.
Be honest the rest is unimportant