7 Ways To Discipline Your Child
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มิ.ย. 2024
- We got to come up with some alternatives to some of the negative discipline. Today, me and Vicki will share 7 ways to discipline your child.
1. Positive reinforcement
2. Negative reinforcement
3. Negative punishment
4. Positive punishment
5. Response cost
6. Be an example of calm voice, calm face, calm words.
7. Work the consequence in a positive way
parentingpowerup.com
Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul JenkinsHELP & RESOURCES:
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I use another tactic called the energy drain. If my daughter does something to drain my energy, then she simply needs to replace it, by choosing a chore to help me out. She can even pick it herself, just as long as I agree. And it goes both ways, if I do something to drain her energy, then I replace it. It helps us to "make it right" without just saying sorry.
I like it, name it and put an action into place. Awesome.
I gotta watch this again so i can get this right....
Watch and practice, get up the next morning and watch and practice. It truly takes effort but is sooooo worth the practice, Stacey Boling.
right...?! i always feel like taking notes! in fact i am!
ME TOO! SOME GOOD STUFF HERE THANK YOU SO MUCH. Y'all WILL BE HEARING BACK FROM ME. LOL, wiping the sweat off my forehead I need help with this 5 year old baby girl. She's actually my granddaughter I've had her since birth and she does call me Mom she also knows her real mom and she calls both of us mom. That's not my problem though he is good at school she is good at her Playmates house it's just when she gets home to me he is a total different person you mean you're ugly be quiet don't do that and even tries to hit me what is going on with this baby I need help. I am a child of God and I do pray I really do believe I'm saying all the wrong words to her so these are helping out tremendously
Me too 😁🌻💞
Same
I’m a single mom and you guys are a blessing to me
We have a lot of single parents here, rhonda Walker. You are not alone. Thank you for joining our Live On Purpose community. It's an honor to have you here!
Same here
9:43 is such an important lessons that I'm currently learning. Anytime I yell at my children, I can instinctively tell that I've weakened myself. And I think they sense it to. Yes they'll feel a bit of terror for a short time, but as they get older even that little bit of terror will fade.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. So glad you are here at Live On Purpose.
I was doing a lot of rewards based positive parenting but had to stop when 4 y.o. asked one day "What will I get?" to my request to have him help with something. I want my kids to help with things for more than greed/ego reasons. Ugh. Raising decent, competent, co-operative adults is so challenging!!!
You are right, it is very challenging, Renee Hinkson. Rewards don't have to be the only thing to use in positive parenting. : ) We have additional ideas in this video: "Consequences For Misbehavior | 6 Specific Examples" - th-cam.com/video/Fbcwp9na04Y/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for watching.
Incredible point of views! I’ve been watching for hours and I’m blown away with the time and effort you are giving to help us better understand our little humans! It’s 2am where I am and my brain needs to rest haha! Thank you so much for making these videos I am so grateful to have found you!
J D4eva, hey, I even have a video on how our brains need to rest. Go to bed and see you back here tomorrow for a new video.
J D4eva Same!!!!!
Me right now. Just found his videos and I can't stop watching been watching for almost 2 hours it's 2:30 in the morning where I'm at.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Why are your eyes so red doctor?
Bruh I’m 14 why am I watching this
I'm not sure, but I appreciate your watching, Christian H. If you want more relevant videos to your age group, we have a "Just for kids and teens" playlist at th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCicx6xcJ5ZJzVe9UBlRTQV.html. Hope you find something valuable there!
Wise
Well on the bright side when you become a parent you'll be an awesome parent
I'm 14 too but im watching this because i needed it for homework 😂
Because you care .😍
When my kids do positive things I started giving them a tick✔️ on a plane paper, and a ❌ for undesired behavior; at the end of the day we count the ticks. Even having a single tick was so powerful even for the baby too and the cross was so hurting that proved to be a positive reinforcement. It worked. More ticks means rewards.
Wonderful, glad they see the connection.
Brilliant idea and very simple
Watched this twice - first time I just listened, second time I took copious notes. Very helpful information. Thank you!!
Sajid Shafi, honored to be on your team.
Who says raising kids doesn't come with a handbook hasn't seen your videos. Thank you for providing the tools
Tricia Fandrey, please share with anyone you think could benefit. Thanks.
As a mom of 7 kiddos under 10 years old, this is powerful! Thank you❤️
Tabitha Goldsmith, thanks for watching and showing up for your kids.
Jesus Christ
@@zazustephens1436 😆
@@zazustephens1436 😂
OMG - been getting busy 🤫🤣😉 - W0W!
I am someone who was very abused as a kid and I am trying to raise a child(not mine, my little cousin), and I will definitely be trying some of these. Bc I know that hitting, screaming, and verbal abuse did not work on me, and I want to raise this kid right.
Shae Jones, I am touched by your sincere comment. It is short, but powerful. Honored to be on your team.
... lol ... what I love about the baggie example is that the kid sees you nonchalantly removing one of the things they want and they are going crazy wondering which one it was! ...so they are thinking they had better straighten up if they want to get any of the goodies ...
Blue Moon, worked good for us. Have fun.
I have been struggling for the better part of the last 15 years with discipline now three weeks ago I started using the response cost and my live has changed! Thank you so much! Finally something straight forward and easy to implement. My 5/7/9 and 11 year olds are so much more civilized.
Verena Windsor, Thank you for letting us know. So glad it has helped you.
I believe there are multiple ways to change behavior, including modeling, practicing the good behavior in a safe environment, experiencing natural consequences, and persuasion, and that punishment (causing something unpleasant so they won't do it again) shouldn't be used on anyone we love (which should be everyone).
Many respectable, responsible, kind adults today have been raised without punishment. They learned in the other ways.
Yes, we don't have to resort to hitting to discipline our children.
I'm so thankful for this channel! I've become so more positive with my son thanks to you guys.
Dustin Prudhomme, thank you for letting me know, this is exactly why the channel was started.
Thank you, watching in 2023
The principles are timeless.
I was looking up videos to help myself, my son, and my daughter in law, ( we all live together and I take care of my grandson while they are working) work together to try and understand my grandson’s defiance and lying constantly. (he is 7 1/2) While I really feel it is attention seeking, you can never be 100% sure. I am definitely guilty of the “ Why did you do that?” Or “Why did you lie about that?” So many descriptions and scenarios you have spoken about in the few videos I have watched so far have been so on point, it was as if you were talking about us. I am excited to share these videos with my children so we can learn about the best way to work together to relieve the tension and stress in ourselves as well as my grandson. I can’t wait to take these first steps moving forward towards a bright and cheerful future.Thank you so much for these fantastic videos!
Donna Mellow, I am glad you are all working on this together, that is awesome.
Hi Donna, my 5 year old just went threw this and come to find out she has been bullied at school and didn’t know how to express herself. A lot of her lying came from her not being able to decipher between what really happened, what she thinks might happen and what she wants to happen. Once we explained the difference between those thought processes, the lying dramatically decreased. Also, If I felt as if she was lying I would say she could tell me the truth with no consequences. I don’t use punishment, the word, because I think it’s damaging psychologically. But choices have consequences, whether positive or negative, so my daughter feels better to express herself if it’s a time of no consequence,
We also found a child psychologist who did online sessions and that helped a lot because she had somebody positive believing in her and being calm.
Based on my experience, something might be going on with your grandson that he can’t process very well at a young age. Having him draw out a problem he is having or something he wants to talk about or something he is scared of of something he wants to do every day for awhile might be a great idea as well a child psychologist. Having a picture to discuss while you give hugs and cuddles and problem solving together should help.
Jesus bless, I hope this helps ❤️
@@rayb.6345 your contribution is wonderfully helpful. Awareness of experiences the child is exposed to is insightful and so, so eye-opening. Having the child draw pictures...or even color (what crayon colors they choose, the pressure exerted on the crayon, etc) is another avenue for the child to express their feelings without words.
Many, many Thank Yous...💞💕💞
I love the video where you give your child two choices I’ve been going off of that for the longest now !
Good choice! Haha, thanks for taking the time to let me know.
Dr Paul. You are a Godsend! Your chanel popped up on my feed a couple of days ago after a rather nasty argument/screaming match between my 12 year old daughter and l.
I have been searching for videos to help mend my relationship with my children but many are too airy fairy to help with reality.
This is so not the case with you. I am watching the videos as I clean my house so can't always comment but this one is as are all your videos is so practical.
I think "hey I can do that." so easy to implement. I thank you both from the bottom of my heart ♥
You are welcome, thanks for watching.
Great content! I appreciate the clear explanations. I love the idea with the "prize" baggie for keeping little children quiet at an appointment. I would absolutely LOVE more practical, explicit ideas that I can implement right away for different scenarios. Do you have some you could share?
TECox1, I have tried to include more examples on the videos since this came out, check out the playlist.
I love when you say:
Better a bad breath than no breath ….
It is true! Thanks for watching.
Thank you for repeating the explanation in different ways.
Several times. Just watch it in 1.25x speed.
Marwa Gad, thank you for noticing, we all learn differently.
This helps so much 😭 I can’t thank you guys enough. ❤
I always listen to this video again and again every night as I go to sleep. (Your videos are in a playlist on repeat.) Just so it really stays in my subconscious mind. 😅 My baby is just turning six months tomorrow and as early as now, I want to be fully prepared in disciplining him the positive way.
Wow, thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing these videos! These are very powerful!
Glad you like them!
This is a great help! Thank you both for the further discussion!
Hi Lyndsie, you are welcome.
Beautiful couple. Great message. Thank you so much.
We love collaborating, Happy Twin Flamer. Thanks for watching.
I'm filling up my tool box watching this channel!!! Love this!!!
Trina H, honored to have you at the channel.
Oh, and also THANK YOU for these videos. I just discovered your videos and they are very helpful and insightful.
Glad you like them!
Thanks a ton for sharing these helpful tips !
You're so welcome!
I've watched this video about 3 times now and It's truly a blessing. I'm Thankful for your channel!
Wow, thank you!
I've been adding to reduce a behavior. I give out extra learning to my child.
Thank you for watching, HumbledByGreatness.
I love this channel. Thank you so much
Nomasonto Zitha, thank you for being a part of our Live On Purpose Community.
Thank you!, Helpful as always
anisa karmal, thank you for being a part of our positive parenting community.
Dr.Paul, thanks for the videos and tips. It has helped us a lot.
Glad to hear it,Rashmi Bhat. Thank you for letting me know.
These are amazing tips. You are honestly changing everything for me!
SodaColaClassic, honored to be on your team.
Amazing couple teaching us parents specially the once’s that are older how to raise our kids. What a much better way to look at parenting just want to make you love your kids more. Thank you dr Paul great speaker.
We are honored to be on your team.
Thanks for the help. Ten minutes after watching your video on not yelling, I’ve subscribed and will watch all of your content. Great stuff and it does work in the moment.
Thanks for the sub! Ken Inksetter, glad you are in our community of positive people.
Great material. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it!
My 5 year old has developed a major case of anxiety after my wife and I have separated. It's hard for him to hear "No" and when he does it's an epic meltdown that usually takes hours to come down from. I feel so helpless. Thank you for a bit of hope with this video, definitely found a few highlights that I'm going to begin implementing immediately. Thank you dearly.
Kyle Miron, you are welcome and good luck with your son. It is a major adjustment and he probably feels out of control.
Thank you for your wise suggestions and advice. You're a lovely couple and a great deal of fun!! Keep up the good work 😊
We are honored to be on your team, Lorraine.
Love ur vids!!! All these examples help a lot, thanks so much for taking the time to help us moms and dads, parenting can be auper hard and a huge challenge cause we are dealing with little humans that we want to be good humans and successful ones too, when they grow old, so thanks a lot and keep ur amazing vida coming!!
fulltimemar, honored to be on your team.
Thank you!
You are very welcome.
A great video as usual, thank you so much for sharing 😊
You are so welcome!
I had the worst day managing my kids and distance learning. Thank you SO much for this video! Now I have to subscribe and binge watch.
Glad it was helpful! In The Moment, teachers have bad days in class, but they show up the next day and try something new. You can do this.
I absolutely love all your videos!! thanks so much for your wisdom!!! We have been waiting forever to get into a good family therapist.. It is just so nice to kind of have one with the show. I really think a lot of our family issues can be solved with good parenting by consistently using these tools. I have a very active 5 year old boy that I have used that one method for bedtime when I tell him "if you want the door open you need to be laying in bed quietly, but if I hear you making noises I'm going to close the door. Before using this method he would be very disruptive to his 15 month old little sister trying to sleep in her crib in the next room over and also to his 10 year old brother who he shares a room with. Since using this method he stays in bed quietly and falls asleep on his own and I really just can't thank you enough! I never thought it could be so simple!!!!
lindsey bailey, you are welcome, glad this video has helped your family.
I'm blessed to listen to both of you.Still not too late to learn.Thanks so much.Your funny video makes it easier to remember what to do when we're going thru the difficult times😃
Thank you for your kind words, Grace Bock. We all need reminders.
Great tips. I'm going to add to what I'm doing at work. Thank you.
kahea2018, honored.
great video. this will help me going forward. thank you
Glad to hear it!
Ok love you guys !!
Thank you so much 💖
Rebecca Rogan, you are very welcome.
Wow, thanks!
Our pleasure!
Thanks doctor paul and vikieanne, i will use these examples when babysitting
Alison Willette, these principles can be used by anyone!
Thanx so much.
Shireen Hendricks, you are welcome.
Thanks so much for your videos, Dr. Paul. I am a Nanna and am hands-on caring for my three grandsons who are under ten. I care for them during the holidays, sick days and after school every day. You are coaching me to be a nanna of happy grandchildren by keeping a healthy perspective and enjoying the time with them which really flies by so quickly.
Well thank you for your service and positive influence on your grandsons, Fleur D'Rose. It's an honor to be on your team!
I’m am hold authority on this as well, I raised 3 boys & all 3 in high school & Cal Poly at the same time... I’ve seen it all (I thought) but they never fail to amaze me... so it’s a constant “stay on top & in front”! Love it:)
Darla Nunes, thank you for watching. I am glad you are there for your children as they become adults and then begin to parent on their own.
I've also been watching for hours. Great, helpful, positive advice Thank you both
T. D., we are honored to be on your team.
It's the same take away every time, "if you..., no time on the tablet". 'Family member' heard me say this and said, "its sad you have to use that to get him to do something". My response was, "well it works". 'family member' or i like electronic time (for me, an certain amount of time is ok). Also, child says, "he takes care of me, he loves me... because he lets me play on my game".. which has evidently caused a riff between child and I :(
Sounds like you are doing this correctly. It would be best if Grampie would be supportive.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV
Great vid!! Thank you!!
Sharon F, you are welcome.
Love these ideas!! Excellent
So happy you found the video helpful. Thank you.
Thank U so much 4 this videos i’m from Costa Rica but i live in Argentina and been an foreign has been so hard and sad 4 me that even i have a very strong faith it affected me in my behavior, marriage and Kids, but this videos are amazing makes me feel good and now i put every advice in practice🙏🏻 and i notice the difference.
Diversión mágica - Magic fun Diversión para niños, I am glad the videos are helpful, thank you for letting me know.
That seems challenging. In that hypothetical it seems like they may start expecting rewards for any little positive things they do and that could potentially be dangerous on several levels. Its difficult to sort out.
Cesar Savan, the rewards are only used temporarily until the internal locus is sparked.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for the response. It's a difficult thing to manage with so many other things on a parents mind lol
I do 4 of the things you have mentioned. I am closer to becoming better at dealing with my anger and how to act to be a better example for ky children. Thank you
Marly Catherine Licerio, I am glad you are getting a handle on it. You can do this.
Thanks for your amazing videos and lessons. This is so helpful and concrete. I know this video is a year old but never late to say thanks.
Glad it was helpful! I love that the videos are there for us, whenever we need them. Please share with others who may need to hear the message.
This is gold!
Thank you, Marcia Alvarez.
I love the bag example! Can’t wait to try it with my 5 year old!
Alina Paalz, I love it when parents are willing to try something new. Honored to be on your team.
Thank you :)
Wonderful! Thank you for watching and trying out.
Thank you
You're welcome
Amazing tips.
Glad you like them!
I really like these systems thank you
Thank you, Asta.
i work in education and i will be recommending this channel to the parents that ask me for good resources and speak english ( i'm in switzerland). french or german subtitles would be awesome, too, in case that possibility shows up.
dantela mestanek, I wish we could get subtitles. It is something on the list, but not being worked on right now. Thank you for sharing.
You are natural, down to earth people - thanks for being who you are. I know it's hard to explain complicated things in a simple manor, but you succeed, every time - sorry for my poor grammair, I'm from Croatia, but you have influenced may way of behaving with kids in a positive mannor, even when I thought - there's no way out. Thank you for beeing.
Natasa Jaksic, so glad you found value in the video. Thank you for watching and being positive, even in the difficult times.
That's great thanks so much
You are very welcome, please share with others who could benefit.
Great ideas.. Really appreciate your sharing. trying to apply them with my 40 pupils in every class that I have
Our teacher viewers are growing, Bieha Norma. Glad to have you at the channel. Thank you for the important work you do.
Love the waiting room and special bag with their name on trick. I have put a clear box on the fridge with my kids name it it and every time they do a good deed I will put an extra one in but if they made a wrong turn I take something out. Hopefully next week they will have some treats for their half term holiday. I think it will work because it's a very visual thing and they will see it every time they go to the fridge. Will let you know the outcome.
Rachel Tomlinson, I hope the kids respond well. Have a great holiday.
I just found your video series - Thank you so much! Very wise advice. God Bless you & all parents trying to be the best parent they can be :)
That is really all we need, everyone trying their very best, m. Honored to be on your team.
Both of you Doctor and your wife look great. Thank you to both of you for wonderful videos. Blessings to both of you and your children.
Sonia Yadav, we are honored to be on your team.
I am glad I discoveref your channel thank you so much because I really need your help to be a better mom.
kass lam, I am glad you discovered us also, welcome.
Love your videos!!Would love if you made a video about how to handle it when grandparents are trying to parent your kids,making your "job" more difficult .How to put boundaries with love.Thank you!!
Will get on the topic list.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you!!!!
Thank you sir i am going to use you in my life.
Honored to be on your team, mado diagne. Thanks for watching.
I love this show, it has helped me tremendously!! Thanks a lot for taking the time to make these videos.
muscle hamster, honored to be on your team.
Since "positive" and "negative" can be confusing, I recommend using "adding" and "removing". It's more straightforward to talk about an adding or removing punishment or an adding or removing reward. It doesn't have the connotations of good and bad that positive and negative have. Thanks for the videos!
Tom Cerul, thanks for your comment. I will think about it.
Love the Ziplock bag suggestion!
O K, it has worked so many times for us.
I love your channel Dr.Paul
Honored to be on your team, Pinoy Life in Italy.
Thank you... for sharing and time. I am still with your channel. From Malaysia 😎
Wendy Loo, honored to be on your team.
B.F. skinner two by 4. Thank you
Tammy Curtiss, I hope you watch some more videos.
This is the most helpful source due to my son who's got diagnosed with ADHD AND ODD . And it's so hard as a single parent and my son keeps acting up and screams idk if i can control him like i did before .my ex bf was the disciplinary and i was more of a soft side i feel like my son is like he is now because i wasn't fair like my ex bf . I am reaching out for help for both of us .
Michelle Pesina, I know you can do this. Be calm and parent on. Glad to have you here.
Thank you for the tips Dr. Paul and Vicky. Both logical and easy to follow. Curious to see how it works when I have kids of my own :D
You are welcome, Kate Hu. Thanks again for watching.
woooow i love this...its my passion too
Charity Muliira, honored to be on your team.
Thank you for the insight. My child loves to move and can't keep still. Playing board games = legs swimming in the air or swinging on furniture. I'm here to see how I can limit this behaviour. Or when it's time to do something like brush teeth or eat she'd rather play ▶️
Andrea, We have several videos that should be helpful for you. Some of it will be outgrown.
I have just found Your channel. I still don't have children, because it is freaking me out, there doesn't seem to be a "right" way to do it. But watching Your videos, makes me feel better equipped for the task of becoming and being a mother.
Thank You for Your work and sharing Your knowledge!
Nessa Tesartir, I love that you are thinking about this before you enter parenthood. It is the most important job with the least training, Honored to have you at Live On Purpose.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank You very much for the fast respond. I was really on the edge of probably denying the joy of becoming a parent to me and my partner, but Your channel just "found" me in the right time. I will keep on educating myself (and my partner) before we take this huge step. I want to have at least the slightest possibility of getting prepared. I wish more people would take responsibility before becoming parents. ... anyways, thank You again!
Your tips help me a lot...! Now, I am able to control my child more than he was able to control me :) I am still trying to stop his crying before entering the child care center. My child main problem: he does not know English. But here all are speaking in English. So, it's also hard for him staying their all day, more than 8 hours. Hope for the best. Thank you so much!
TriShA, so thankful our channel is helping. Best to you and your son.
How great was this video! practical and so important! Thank you so much from Brazil to help us as a parent and to open our minds!
Hello Michelle Arcurio from Brazil. We are honored to be on your team.
GR8 STUFF!
Thanks.
Many common parenting techniques are simply short term survival strategies of desperate parents trying to cope with the here and now. Sometimes the old school way of discipline can do miracles.
wahnano, I am not sure what you are talking about, I am about relationships.
I need more examples of giving choices for my toddler, age four...please. Thank you for all of your advise! It’s been very helpful!
You got it! We will include this in the topic development list.
I'm a new Parent. Can't thank you enough for the useful information.
Honored to be on your team.
This is great information! Yeah. Don't keep these gems in your private practice! Get them out where we can use them! Thank you!
Glad to help.
very nice. Really helpful
vincent idoghor, thank you for being here at the channel.