@@PsychologyInSeattle YES Doc Honda- we DO want this kind of thing! At least I do haha but seriously...i want you to go right thru the alphabet and define each and every one of these psychology terms that are so hard to wrap my brain around....Hi to all my fellow 'deserving listeners' 🤗
I’m currently in therapy that I’ve denied myself for years. I listen to you for extra data to help me identify some of the others around me. So thank you.
Here watching you, Dr. Honda in Aug 2020 as a newer subbie friend! Your current video's have been eye opening and extremely helpful for so many. Not just myself. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us all! ♥️
It is interesting hearing you say they have empathy and that they can change. Everywhere I hear stories from people who were in relationships with one or even therapists about narcissists being evil that you just need to get as far away from as possible
So what he is saying that if you are not an expert, then don't say it. Don't try to diagnose someone unless you truly understand the disorder and you are the therapist. If you see signs of it in someone you know, point them to reading about it and then to a therapist. Don't be afraid to be with or without that person.
I respect that you have sympathy towards people and your clients with NPD Dr Honda, I do too to some extent. But these people can create a lot of pain in other people's lives and can even destroy people's lives - particularly if they are parents. And I feel in this video explanation that you have let them off the hook a bit. Even if they they have a disorder, they are responsible for their actions and responsible for seeking treatment. And I imagine they very rarely do because the nature of their disorder (ie: they don't think anything's wrong with them and their worst nightmare would be discovering who they truly are).
I guess I'm narcissistic. I don't need anybody. But you say I really do. I must be high functioning because I've had a successful career and retirement. I feel completely satisfied being on my own, and even going to a restaurant is no fun for me, I'd rather cook myself, do it my way, not have to wait for a waiter, for friends to arrive, don't have to worry about waiting for a waiter to get me a glass of water. I generally find it easy to do what ever needs to be done myself. I don't trust service people, contractors, etc. As a manager it was different, I had twenty five people working for me - but then I could select exactly who I wanted, tell them exactly how to do it, and if they didn't catch on they didn't stay long. I have no problem socializing, I can socialize with who ever is in the room, Starbucks, airplane where ever. The only person I need is the person who flies the plane. It seems that therapists think dependency is good. PS: I grew up in a family of 18 brothers and sisters, and I learned very early that if I needed to get something done, I had to do it myself. I came home from college one weekend, and found the family moved away - no one told me, two years after I graduated college my mother asked me "if I ever graduated from that place". My parents were that that engaged. When I was in sixth grade my teacher started a procedure where your parent had to sign your homework. - my brothers and I got together and came up with a practical solution, we used carbon paper to copy my mothers signature. My teacher got on and read the riot act, but I was nonplussed. I told her I did my homework and I didn't need to bother my mother. I don't need anybody and have always felt pretty content going my own way. Most of my family is similar. There's a kind of an indifference, if I see you great, if you don't come - there's no big deal. We like each other, but it's not like we need each other. I imagine in a small family if one or two siblings don't connect there's some unhappiness. In my family, if only 25% show up we still have a party.
That is a good explanation but I already knew a lot of what is said in your video... I think that when you know for long enough people with NPD you can get an intuitive notion of what Narcissism is. But I agree on your point that a lot of people do not get it and that a lot of the stigma is unfair. A lot of what contribute to the stigma IMO is that people tend to associate Antisocial behavior with Narcissism when it is clearly two completly distinct features.
Thanks a lot Dr. Honda. I really appreciate this video, it was very helpfull for me. P.D. I love the new format, It was verynice to see you in the video.
I actually recommend your videos on this topic, when the whole Jake Paul psychopath debate started. The psychologist Shane Dawson brought on the episodes, was terrible. She knew nothing about the topic.
Thanks, Violet! Some say it's possible, but I've never seen it, especially when we really look into the individual's history. I know people who were mistreated but never framed it that way.
It's hard to research because it takes a long time and it's hard to measure. But for me, I have had success, as long as the client is willing to see it through, which is not always the case.
@@PsychologyInSeattle That's good, I bet it's far and few between.Go get the ones you can, that's going to help a little and congrats! Good answer and seems promising.
I'm the oldest but am scapegoat for the whole family, what if it's the youngest that has the narcissistic tendencies? My family and story is very complicated.
Same here, very COSTLY and draining to deal with, but only by exercising your Matthew 18 rights, with Church help backing, can you put those godless ones down, and extract true atonement healing from them. Short of calling the police, nothing else will work, because they will gaslight you to death merely to cover up their sick sins.
I’ve noticed that there are a lot of TH-camrs who talk about “Narcissistic Abuse,” but in your opinion, are most people with NPD abusive to their partners or family members?
It depends on the degree of NPD, their self-awareness, what we call "abuse", etc. But yeah, if you're close to someone with NPD, you'll likely feel hurt and afraid more often.
Brilliant video, you should do more vlog style stuff like this on your channel rather than just post the podcasts. Would definitely increase the YT reach. Also thanks for making a video about this. Based on your description as well as my own research I definitely have a narcissistic personality. Interestingly I also want to be a therapist. Is it possible for one to be a good, effective therapist with this personality style? I want to help people but wonder if this is a type of wound that doesn't lend itself well to becoming a "wounded healer."
Will do, Kevin. Yeah, I've been wanting to do this for a while, but I didn't have the time to work out the details. I guess it's worth pursuing more. Yes, people with narcissism can absolutely be good therapists. Many therapists are on that spectrum. All therapists struggle with something, whether it's narcissism or borderline or anxiety or depression or whatever.
I think that people with NPD have extremely acute empathic ability. Being a good manipulator requires the ability to empathize. I know I just assumed that people with NPD are all manupulative... haha. Are they? Anyway I think that what tends to go out the window is compassion for others, not empathy. Who knows though, certainly not me. Trying to understand personality disorders makes my head spin... so I'm going to give it a rest now lol.
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 85 | คู่เอก "ยอดเหล็กเพชร vs ผึ้งหลวง"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Qq_19bnnxEo/mqdefault.jpg)
I really do feel like I’m having a one on one explanation in your office! Love this highlighted summary. ❤️
Yeah, I might do this again. It seems that TH-camrs want this sort of thing.
@@PsychologyInSeattle YES Doc Honda- we DO want this kind of thing! At least I do haha but seriously...i want you to go right thru the alphabet and define each and every one of these psychology terms that are so hard to wrap my brain around....Hi to all my fellow 'deserving listeners' 🤗
I’m currently in therapy that I’ve denied myself for years. I listen to you for extra data to help me identify some of the others around me. So thank you.
Imagine understanding something so good and being able to explain it so simply like dr honda...
Just became a patron!
Here watching you, Dr. Honda in Aug 2020 as a newer subbie friend! Your current video's have been eye opening and extremely helpful for so many. Not just myself. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us all! ♥️
It is interesting hearing you say they have empathy and that they can change. Everywhere I hear stories from people who were in relationships with one or even therapists about narcissists being evil that you just need to get as far away from as possible
So what he is saying that if you are not an expert, then don't say it. Don't try to diagnose someone unless you truly understand the disorder and you are the therapist. If you see signs of it in someone you know, point them to reading about it and then to a therapist. Don't be afraid to be with or without that person.
I respect that you have sympathy towards people and your clients with NPD Dr Honda, I do too to some extent. But these people can create a lot of pain in other people's lives and can even destroy people's lives - particularly if they are parents. And I feel in this video explanation that you have let them off the hook a bit. Even if they they have a disorder, they are responsible for their actions and responsible for seeking treatment. And I imagine they very rarely do because the nature of their disorder (ie: they don't think anything's wrong with them and their worst nightmare would be discovering who they truly are).
I guess I'm narcissistic. I don't need anybody. But you say I really do. I must be high functioning because I've had a successful career and retirement. I feel completely satisfied being on my own, and even going to a restaurant is no fun for me, I'd rather cook myself, do it my way, not have to wait for a waiter, for friends to arrive, don't have to worry about waiting for a waiter to get me a glass of water. I generally find it easy to do what ever needs to be done myself. I don't trust service people, contractors, etc. As a manager it was different, I had twenty five people working for me - but then I could select exactly who I wanted, tell them exactly how to do it, and if they didn't catch on they didn't stay long. I have no problem socializing, I can socialize with who ever is in the room, Starbucks, airplane where ever. The only person I need is the person who flies the plane.
It seems that therapists think dependency is good. PS: I grew up in a family of 18 brothers and sisters, and I learned very early that if I needed to get something done, I had to do it myself. I came home from college one weekend, and found the family moved away - no one told me, two years after I graduated college my mother asked me "if I ever graduated from that place". My parents were that that engaged. When I was in sixth grade my teacher started a procedure where your parent had to sign your homework. - my brothers and I got together and came up with a practical solution, we used carbon paper to copy my mothers signature. My teacher got on and read the riot act, but I was nonplussed. I told her I did my homework and I didn't need to bother my mother.
I don't need anybody and have always felt pretty content going my own way. Most of my family is similar. There's a kind of an indifference, if I see you great, if you don't come - there's no big deal. We like each other, but it's not like we need each other. I imagine in a small family if one or two siblings don't connect there's some unhappiness. In my family, if only 25% show up we still have a party.
I know I’m a bit late to the table, but how would a child of a parent who displays narcissistic behaviour avoid becoming a narcissist themselves.
That is a good explanation but I already knew a lot of what is said in your video... I think that when you know for long enough people with NPD you can get an intuitive notion of what Narcissism is. But I agree on your point that a lot of people do not get it and that a lot of the stigma is unfair. A lot of what contribute to the stigma IMO is that people tend to associate Antisocial behavior with Narcissism when it is clearly two completly distinct features.
Thanks a lot Dr. Honda. I really appreciate this video, it was very helpfull for me.
P.D. I love the new format, It was verynice to see you in the video.
Thanks! I thought I'd try this new format. I guess I do it more often.
I actually recommend your videos on this topic, when the whole Jake Paul psychopath debate started. The psychologist Shane Dawson brought on the episodes, was terrible. She knew nothing about the topic.
Thanks! I'll check that out.
Ha I love your username
Great to put faces to the podcast. Keep up the great work👍
My favorite episode yet, thanks!
Thanks!
Thanks, Violet! Some say it's possible, but I've never seen it, especially when we really look into the individual's history. I know people who were mistreated but never framed it that way.
@@PsychologyInSeattle Thank you.
Great to see a small return to the videos.
Yeah, I might do it more often.
I need a video on how to deal with avoidant people.
It's odd actually seeing you in the video aha but it does add a personable level to the video compared to black screen.
Yeah. I've been wanting to do this for a while.
We don't often get to see you on TH-cam!
Yeah, I had some time recently to tackle the issues involved with video episodes. We'll see if I have the energy to keep doing it.
GREAT video Kirk thanks!
You are a dashing young man. The eye contact you make with the camera makes me feel things.
Ha!
Whoa! The face comes out. And a short video. Love this format. Keep these coming
Will do!
I liked this.
I liked your comment.
Hi Dr. Honda, what are the statistics of success in healing people with narc tendencies? Congrats, i love your show!Take care and thanks!
It's hard to research because it takes a long time and it's hard to measure. But for me, I have had success, as long as the client is willing to see it through, which is not always the case.
@@PsychologyInSeattle That's good, I bet it's far and few between.Go get the ones you can, that's going to help a little and congrats! Good answer and seems promising.
very interesting and informative, thanks!
You're welcome!
This is my 4th or 5th time watching this
I'm the oldest but am scapegoat for the whole family, what if it's the youngest that has the narcissistic tendencies? My family and story is very complicated.
Same here, very COSTLY and draining to deal with, but only by exercising your Matthew 18 rights, with Church help backing, can you put those godless ones down, and extract true atonement healing from them. Short of calling the police, nothing else will work, because they will gaslight you to death merely to cover up their sick sins.
I tried to zoom in on your bookshelf, but can’t read the titles. I’m so interested to know what your favorite books are related to family therapy.
We have a page on our website about family therapy books.
Nice to see a video!
Yeah, I might make more.
Great video! I feel like I understand it further. (At least I hope so...)
Thanks!
Thank you
You're welcome
I’ve noticed that there are a lot of TH-camrs who talk about “Narcissistic Abuse,” but in your opinion, are most people with NPD abusive to their partners or family members?
It depends on the degree of NPD, their self-awareness, what we call
"abuse", etc. But yeah, if you're close to someone with NPD, you'll
likely feel hurt and afraid more often.
Brilliant video, you should do more vlog style stuff like this on your channel rather than just post the podcasts. Would definitely increase the YT reach.
Also thanks for making a video about this. Based on your description as well as my own research I definitely have a narcissistic personality. Interestingly I also want to be a therapist. Is it possible for one to be a good, effective therapist with this personality style? I want to help people but wonder if this is a type of wound that doesn't lend itself well to becoming a "wounded healer."
Will do, Kevin. Yeah, I've been wanting to do this for a while, but I didn't have the time to work out the details. I guess it's worth pursuing more.
Yes, people with narcissism can absolutely be good therapists. Many therapists are on that spectrum. All therapists struggle with something, whether it's narcissism or borderline or anxiety or depression or whatever.
@@PsychologyInSeattle Thanks for responding, Kirk. Hope you have a great rest of your weekend.
Is there any study tying parentification to narcissism? That would be an interesting correlation
I think that people with NPD have extremely acute empathic ability. Being a good manipulator requires the ability to empathize. I know I just assumed that people with NPD are all manupulative... haha. Are they? Anyway I think that what tends to go out the window is compassion for others, not empathy. Who knows though, certainly not me. Trying to understand personality disorders makes my head spin... so I'm going to give it a rest now lol.
So... what I’m concluding is that trump actually has a narcissist personality.
Lol the brother's body language is so West Coast. Great podcast though
You remind me of Robert Pattinson.
You look like Russell Wong.
Who's that?
Prolific Eurasian Actor. Saw him in Vanishing Son series and Joy Luck Club. On imdb he is credited as playing himself on Crazy Rich Asians.
omg!! your lovely face!
Ha!
Yep, he is eternally youthful.