Thank you for posting this. I feel much less alone about my depression. I've been smothered and surrounded by those people who say "Stop thinking that way" and it's pushing me to solitude. So I needed this today.
The documentary about depression that we talk about in this episode is called "Depression: The Misunderstood Epidemic" and you can watch it here: th-cam.com/video/J3L6Nwr8fp8/w-d-xo.html Also, I gave the wrong URL to my blog on the show (it's been a while!). You can find it at www.kimemeera.wordpress.com I have been meaning to write posts more regularly so stay tuned and thanks so much for listening (or reading)!
light therapy. whole foods. sleep and throwing out junk. problems at home. loneliness. tiger moms. social anxiety. perfectionism. religion. body image. misconceptions of movies. moving around. death in the family. dreading the next day. trouble brushing your teeth.
I remember telling my parents I felt dead inside over and over again when I reached puberty, it broke them. And they didn’t know how to respond. My mom had so many panic attacks because nothing she did helped and she got angry at me eventually. I resented her for that for so long because it isolated me. I didn’t feel safe anywhere for years. Looking back I can forgive my mom because she kinda came from a cult, and that didn’t give her any parenting skills to work with, and my dad was always working so it was all on her.
I'm single mom and I don't have anyone to talk to about my mental issues.. I don't wanna bother my closed ones with my depression daily or even weekly.. So I isolate myself from others ☹️
I am sorry that you are so isolated, especially at this time in the middle of this COVID-19 nightmare. Why don’t you email Dr. Honda? He may have some excellent suggestions to guide you out of your isolated state. I wish you and your kids the very best. Take care.
I would contact your Dr, either prescribed antidepressants if you wanted, or refer you to counselling with pandemic would be phone call sessions. Withdrawing is what I tend to do without realising, I have to push myself not to.
I'm so sorry that you don't have anyone to talk to about this 🥺 Definitely a good therapist would be best (might take some time finding a good one who actually knows what they're doing). But if you can't get to one at the moment, maybe finding an online platform that serves as a support group could be an idea. Wishing you lots of acceptance, gentleness towards yourself and strength ❤️🤗
Thank you 💙 “ I had thought that when you feel your worst your tears flood, but the very worst pain is the arid pain of total violation that comes after the tears are all used up, the pain that stops up every space through which you once metered the world, or the world, you. This is the presence of major depression.” Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
That's how I feel and what I am going through. I learn how to cope with it everyday I even have a rage or annoyed diary where I write everything that I hate and don't like. It lets out the bad things out of me without disturbing anyone. Reading also helps me.
At its most difficult, depression is like a car is sitting on my chest. It’s not just feeling sad. It’s a struggle at those times to not fall into suicidal thoughts.
It is really helpfull to hear a podcast about depression. I'm currently recovering from a pretty bad depressive episode and for the first time in several months I am feeling life again but still everyday I get something that make me remember about my depression. Somethimes I just wanted that this never happened and everything was like before
I describe my depression as a towel around my shoulders and a raining cloud over my head. The more I try to get warm through the towel, the more wet and cold I get. And I think "maybe I should put this towel down, but ... it might be even more cold without it"
I have noticed 2 different types of depression. Sometimes it's a plethora of negative dintrusive racing thoughts or possibly grieving a trauma. The other type is hormonal. It's less panicky and more teary. It will also come put of nowhere
I thought I had depression beat back 4 years ago in high school, I'm not so sure now. I'm glad this podcast kind of helped me realize the true meaning so I can move foward
When they talked about parents noticing anything different about you, I was in the worst part of my life so far I was very just, out of it, I didn't want to move, I barely ate anything cause I was just laying on the ground wasting my time on my phone, I would stay in my room for 95% of the day and no one would care or take notice, I wasn't happy I couldn't show emotion what so ever, I couldn't cry I couldn't laugh and in that week I had an emotional breakdown out of new where so... How are your guys life?
Buddy Casino geez, I'm sorry you have to go through that right now honestly, having deep depression when everyone else is outside and happy and enjoying life sucks so much, cause you know that there happy and motivated at crap and you are here laying down and watching shite on TH-cam and barely moving, that feeling sucks alot, (I also don't exactly know what to say with the anxiety part, sorry)
Wonderful podcast! It clarifies some things for me. I learned about myself and those around me. Your podcast has a lot of good information for all, depressed or not. Thank you
Wonderful podcast! I learned things about myself and those around me. Something that I have been saying about my ex-husband which is, "if he would have told me how he was feeling, I could have worked with that." Im not a mind reader. Your podcast has a lot of good information for all.
Hi Melanie! I'm so glad to hear that this episode was helpful to you. Communication is so key when supporting someone with depression, though difficult at times. I hope you and your ex-husband are well.
It says in Buddhism and also in the books of Carlos Castaneda that only being surrounded by yourself makes one clumsy, heavy and negative. In order to become fast and flexible, ist important to not think about themselves, but more about others or about stuff they love, the world, or even better: to start dancing and practicing tai Chi to get the energy flowing. What makes me stay stuck at home are my constant triggers regarding the abuse I have witnessed during childhood. But hiding wont Change a Thing, I guess.
I remember the first time I told someone that I wanted to kill myself it was my ex and he laughed at me and said ya right and I thought that was insane since he would cry at me all the time and talk about his depression to me a lot
In my last meeting with my therapist some discussion made her think that I might actually have Persistent Depressive Disorder as opposed to Major Depressive Disorder, maybe even having bouts with double depression through life's ups and downs. Is there a difference in treatment/counseling between the two diagnoses?
I would have to agree on everything except for the empathy listening method of therapy. I believe this 100% help in the beginning but after a couple of weeks, It don't. we come to therapy to get an answer or something out of it and if all we are getting is a listening ear then what are we paying for? I had a grad school therapist that used this approach. She is nice and a wonderful young lady, but after a month I felt hopeless and she straight up just sent me to someone else despite me telling her I did not want to go to someone else or I felt that she was abandoning me. She was just happy to lighten her work load.
The empathy approach is a cop out adopted by lazy or burned out therapists. What’s most frustrating is they tend to be the “nicest” in order to cover up their indifference
@@You_work_tomorrow yeah I found a new one! I told her that I want her to listen and to give her expert advice and for us to do assignments together. She started off listening and then she'll give feedback. I've been with her for about 2 years now. But now she's starting to just become a listener, so I reminded her that I would like feedback and she made sure to do that.
This was nice to listen to, but I do wish there was something a bit more concrete. I think the problem with our understanding of depression is because it's a soft science and as she said, it's difficult to describe. Add to that, most people's experiences are probably different to some extent. There should be more studies done. I'd tentatively class it in 4 categories: Type 1: What normal people call "depressed". That feeling of malaise you sometimes get. It doesn't quite meet the requirements for a diagnosis and everyone experiences it at some time or another. You can generally shake yourself free from it. Type 2: Being diagnosed with clinical depression. It's due to genes and hormones and there's nothing you can do about it, but manage it with meds and therapy. It's like a mental disability. Type 3: Not being disposed through genes or hormones, but experiencing extreme prolonged depression due to circumstances. It may start with grief through a loss and spiral downwards. Type 4: A combination of 2 and 3. You're genetically disposed to depression and circumstances propel you into it and keeps you there. I have always been of the "get over it" mindset. I've always thought that you can think yourself better, even now I still have that in me to some extent, even though I know through experience there are times it's impossible. I describe my depression as a rubber band. I decide "ok, I'm going to pull myself together this week!" For a week I hold my own and keep it at bay. At day 6 it snaps right back into place, like I'd been holding an elastic that's wrapped around my body away from me for those days and on the final day it snaps back. If the mental health industry can define depression better I believe that will go a long way to helping people understand it.
I just heard the “just listen empathetically” bit, I already left a comment about how I more or less feel about that in reply to someone else’s comment. I feel american therapists have too much of that approach, and honestly I feel insulted when i therapist does that to me. Unless it’s occasional session and I already know that that therapist is engaging and that way I know they’re a good listener... I live in Spain and here my brilliant therapist would spend about 2/3rds of the session listening and the last third giving her feedback and working f through the issues actively. I don’t know what approach that is but it’s not cognitive behavioral. Just want to say that this obsession with “empathetic listening” in America just doesn’t work on everyone. If after a handful of sessions a therapist continues to “empathetically listen” then k know they’re disengaged and don’t give a dang
It would be FUCKING GREAT IF YOU MENTIONED THOSE WHO COULDN'T AFFORD IT. PEOPLE LIKE ME MIGHT END UP. YOU'RE HOTLINE IS A JOKE. THEY TALK TO YOU LIKE A ROBOT.
She literally has depression, the same way amputees often laugh about their injury. You feel weird when she does it, doesn’t equate to her being weird in reality. Never being able to laugh in a serious situation sounds like a seriously depressing world.
Laughing is coming up for air for a brief moment. And, you may have a fixed idea of what depression looks or sounds like. Life is in motion, whether depressed or not.
Thank you for posting this. I feel much less alone about my depression. I've been smothered and surrounded by those people who say "Stop thinking that way" and it's pushing me to solitude. So I needed this today.
You're welcome, Alexandria. Hang in there.
The documentary about depression that we talk about in this episode is called "Depression: The Misunderstood Epidemic" and you can watch it here: th-cam.com/video/J3L6Nwr8fp8/w-d-xo.html
Also, I gave the wrong URL to my blog on the show (it's been a while!). You can find it at www.kimemeera.wordpress.com
I have been meaning to write posts more regularly so stay tuned and thanks so much for listening (or reading)!
Thank you, I will check it out
light therapy. whole foods. sleep and throwing out junk. problems at home. loneliness. tiger moms. social anxiety. perfectionism. religion. body image. misconceptions of movies. moving around. death in the family. dreading the next day. trouble brushing your teeth.
What’s a tiger mom?
Being understood (usually needs to be someone who's experienced depression) by friends and professionals is the strongest healing situation for me.
What did your friends do to make you feel understood? What did they say that made it click that they understood
Glad I came across this today. I didn't realize that the way I was feeling could be depression.
Exactly
Please dont engage in self diagnosis, a professional should be the one who’s able to diagnose you
@@malakqallaf8241 I believe you missed the "could be" part of the comment. Thanks for that.
I remember telling my parents I felt dead inside over and over again when I reached puberty, it broke them. And they didn’t know how to respond. My mom had so many panic attacks because nothing she did helped and she got angry at me eventually. I resented her for that for so long because it isolated me. I didn’t feel safe anywhere for years. Looking back I can forgive my mom because she kinda came from a cult, and that didn’t give her any parenting skills to work with, and my dad was always working so it was all on her.
I'm single mom and I don't have anyone to talk to about my mental issues.. I don't wanna bother my closed ones with my depression daily or even weekly.. So I isolate myself from others ☹️
I am sorry that you are so isolated, especially at this time in the middle of this COVID-19 nightmare. Why don’t you email Dr. Honda? He may have some excellent suggestions to guide you out of your isolated state. I wish you and your kids the very best. Take care.
I would contact your Dr, either prescribed antidepressants if you wanted, or refer you to counselling with pandemic would be phone call sessions.
Withdrawing is what I tend to do without realising, I have to push myself not to.
I'm so sorry that you don't have anyone to talk to about this 🥺 Definitely a good therapist would be best (might take some time finding a good one who actually knows what they're doing). But if you can't get to one at the moment, maybe finding an online platform that serves as a support group could be an idea. Wishing you lots of acceptance, gentleness towards yourself and strength ❤️🤗
@@julieguthrie7075 I withdraw too, with the mindset of well I don’t want to bring my friends down.
Thank you 💙
“ I had thought that when you feel your worst your tears flood, but the very worst pain is the arid pain of total violation that comes after the tears are all used up, the pain that stops up every space through which you once metered the world, or the world, you. This is the presence of major depression.”
Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
That's how I feel and what I am going through. I learn how to cope with it everyday I even have a rage or annoyed diary where I write everything that I hate and don't like. It lets out the bad things out of me without disturbing anyone. Reading also helps me.
At its most difficult, depression is like a car is sitting on my chest. It’s not just feeling sad. It’s a struggle at those times to not fall into suicidal thoughts.
It is really helpfull to hear a podcast about depression. I'm currently recovering from a pretty bad depressive episode and for the first time in several months I am feeling life again but still everyday I get something that make me remember about my depression. Somethimes I just wanted that this never happened and everything was like before
I describe my depression as a towel around my shoulders and a raining cloud over my head. The more I try to get warm through the towel, the more wet and cold I get. And I think "maybe I should put this towel down, but ... it might be even more cold without it"
I have noticed 2 different types of depression. Sometimes it's a plethora of negative dintrusive racing thoughts or possibly grieving a trauma. The other type is hormonal. It's less panicky and more teary. It will also come put of nowhere
I thought I had depression beat back 4 years ago in high school, I'm not so sure now. I'm glad this podcast kind of helped me realize the true meaning so I can move foward
The hardest part of depression is not wanting to tell your spouse because it makes them feel bad. So I hide
When they talked about parents noticing anything different about you, I was in the worst part of my life so far I was very just, out of it, I didn't want to move, I barely ate anything cause I was just laying on the ground wasting my time on my phone, I would stay in my room for 95% of the day and no one would care or take notice, I wasn't happy I couldn't show emotion what so ever, I couldn't cry I couldn't laugh and in that week I had an emotional breakdown out of new where so... How are your guys life?
Buddy Casino geez, I'm sorry you have to go through that right now honestly, having deep depression when everyone else is outside and happy and enjoying life sucks so much, cause you know that there happy and motivated at crap and you are here laying down and watching shite on TH-cam and barely moving, that feeling sucks alot, (I also don't exactly know what to say with the anxiety part, sorry)
Wonderful podcast! It clarifies some things for me. I learned about myself and those around me. Your podcast has a lot of good information for all, depressed or not. Thank you
Migraine v headache... clinical depression v sad...
This podcast helped me so much, always help me sleep 💯
I have been worried that maybe my depression was more than depression, but this made me feel more like how I feel and think is "normal." lol
Could you do a dissociation video?
I am Mexican American and we don't differentiate between owning dogs or cats. To many of us we just group them together as pets, period.
Wonderful podcast! I learned things about myself and those around me. Something that I have been saying about my ex-husband which is, "if he would have told me how he was feeling, I could have worked with that." Im not a mind reader.
Your podcast has a lot of good information for all.
Thanks, Melanie!
Hi Melanie! I'm so glad to hear that this episode was helpful to you. Communication is so key when supporting someone with depression, though difficult at times. I hope you and your ex-husband are well.
This was absolutely great to listen too.
Why is it that almost every scenario they mentioned is exactly what I am going through as of the moment
can anyone find the hour long documentary?
Just came across this video today. Did you find it?
It says in Buddhism and also in the books of Carlos Castaneda that only being surrounded by yourself makes one clumsy, heavy and negative. In order to become fast and flexible, ist important to not think about themselves, but more about others or about stuff they love, the world, or even better: to start dancing and practicing tai Chi to get the energy flowing. What makes me stay stuck at home are my constant triggers regarding the abuse I have witnessed during childhood. But hiding wont Change a Thing, I guess.
I remember the first time I told someone that I wanted to kill myself it was my ex and he laughed at me and said ya right and I thought that was insane since he would cry at me all the time and talk about his depression to me a lot
In my last meeting with my therapist some discussion made her think that I might actually have Persistent Depressive Disorder as opposed to Major Depressive Disorder, maybe even having bouts with double depression through life's ups and downs. Is there a difference in treatment/counseling between the two diagnoses?
I would have to agree on everything except for the empathy listening method of therapy.
I believe this 100% help in the beginning but after a couple of weeks, It don't. we come to therapy to get an answer or something out of it and if all we are getting is a listening ear then what are we paying for? I had a grad school therapist that used this approach. She is nice and a wonderful young lady, but after a month I felt hopeless and she straight up just sent me to someone else despite me telling her I did not want to go to someone else or I felt that she was abandoning me. She was just happy to lighten her work load.
The empathy approach is a cop out adopted by lazy or burned out therapists. What’s most frustrating is they tend to be the “nicest” in order to cover up their indifference
Did you find a therapist for you? What did you look for specifically when you were looking?
@@You_work_tomorrow yeah I found a new one! I told her that I want her to listen and to give her expert advice and for us to do assignments together. She started off listening and then she'll give feedback. I've been with her for about 2 years now. But now she's starting to just become a listener, so I reminded her that I would like feedback and she made sure to do that.
I wish I could get in touch with that professor anyone know how ?
There is contact info on their patron page.
This was nice to listen to, but I do wish there was something a bit more concrete. I think the problem with our understanding of depression is because it's a soft science and as she said, it's difficult to describe. Add to that, most people's experiences are probably different to some extent. There should be more studies done.
I'd tentatively class it in 4 categories:
Type 1: What normal people call "depressed". That feeling of malaise you sometimes get. It doesn't quite meet the requirements for a diagnosis and everyone experiences it at some time or another. You can generally shake yourself free from it.
Type 2: Being diagnosed with clinical depression. It's due to genes and hormones and there's nothing you can do about it, but manage it with meds and therapy. It's like a mental disability.
Type 3: Not being disposed through genes or hormones, but experiencing extreme prolonged depression due to circumstances. It may start with grief through a loss and spiral downwards.
Type 4: A combination of 2 and 3. You're genetically disposed to depression and circumstances propel you into it and keeps you there.
I have always been of the "get over it" mindset. I've always thought that you can think yourself better, even now I still have that in me to some extent, even though I know through experience there are times it's impossible.
I describe my depression as a rubber band. I decide "ok, I'm going to pull myself together this week!" For a week I hold my own and keep it at bay. At day 6 it snaps right back into place, like I'd been holding an elastic that's wrapped around my body away from me for those days and on the final day it snaps back.
If the mental health industry can define depression better I believe that will go a long way to helping people understand it.
Anyone found the mentioned documentary?
The documentary might be DEPRESSION, THE MISUNDERSTOOD EPIDEMIC.
"Irk" has reached semantic satiation.
I'm straight up disappointed in this discussion. Doc, you are only touching the wing of the blue bird that sits on top the twig of the iceberg😩😢
What are the major categories he missed?
Don't worry theres Someone out there for you : - )
Dont for get 7 psychopaths review :) I been whating
Exercise not medication.
I just heard the “just listen empathetically” bit, I already left a comment about how I more or less feel about that in reply to someone else’s comment. I feel american therapists have too much of that approach, and honestly I feel insulted when i therapist does that to me. Unless it’s occasional session and I already know that that therapist is engaging and that way I know they’re a good listener... I live in Spain and here my brilliant therapist would spend about 2/3rds of the session listening and the last third giving her feedback and working f through the issues actively. I don’t know what approach that is but it’s not cognitive behavioral. Just want to say that this obsession with “empathetic listening” in America just doesn’t work on everyone. If after a handful of sessions a therapist continues to “empathetically listen” then k know they’re disengaged and don’t give a dang
It would be FUCKING GREAT IF YOU MENTIONED THOSE WHO COULDN'T AFFORD IT. PEOPLE LIKE ME MIGHT END UP. YOU'RE HOTLINE IS A JOKE. THEY TALK TO YOU LIKE A ROBOT.
Hard comparison? "I wouldn't say that.." Poor attempts at virtue signaling.
This woman sounds too LA
What does does that mean?
this guest’s frequent laughing during a podcast about depression was off putting 👎🏼👎🏼
She literally has depression, the same way amputees often laugh about their injury. You feel weird when she does it, doesn’t equate to her being weird in reality. Never being able to laugh in a serious situation sounds like a seriously depressing world.
Laughing is coming up for air for a brief moment. And, you may have a fixed idea of what depression looks or sounds like. Life is in motion, whether depressed or not.