I am expected to be patient and ignore his behavior. Not happening. I am ignoring him! So far, so good. I didn't call him to wish him a Happy New Year. I feel free of his narcissistic control tactics(he expects me to call him first/chase after him.) I won't chase after him!
Yes it does. I have low contact because of my situation. However, for each day I don't have to make contact, the more I heal and the stronger I become.
@@Ratgirl2I understand. For about four months I wasn't sure I would have a place to live. Each step I took over 13 months took time and careful thought not knowing how things would go with each step I took. It's scary, extremely stressful and a horrible nightmare to especially be in this situation when the person causing you this much pain and trauma was once someone you loved and trusted.
This is so true. My body lets me know when someone is toxic. I've gotten jitters and even stomach aches suddenly. Sure enough they were indeed narcs. Gotta trust the gut.
Yes!,, I always knew something was off, tried for years to figure it out. Then I learned about NPD. Wow it all started making sense. I have discovered that I didn’t even remember a lot of the abuse until I went no contact whatsoever, and began my healing.
@@jammer930I would get really chilled. I would need a blanket when he would start talking at me, interrogating me, telling me what to think, how I should feel and so on and so on….
Thanks for the emotion. It's COLD out here. People don't know what to say. They don't know what to do. They don't want to be bothered. They don't even try to help or understand 99% of the time. They come across as not caring. Thank you for caring.
@Mom2J6073 So very true! And I just wanted to add one more thing. People are so very busy with their own lives and problems. I also feel you don't know who you can trust. 😌 Thank God for Dr C and Team Healthy!!! This is a safe place 🙏 ❤️ 🙏 We're all in the same boat.
This has happened to me too - but I’ve thought about this and I wouldn’t understand this behaviour myself if I hadn’t lived through it. The only people I know who have understood me are people who have lived through this themselves. So I can’t blame those dear ones who don’t understand. I’m not sure I would understand it now if I hadn’t listened to teaching videos on the subject. And my hope is that I’ll be through this in the next few months, knowing the love, joy, fun, interest in life that I used to know.
This! People either don't believe us, or they send "not my circus-not my monkeys" message. They simply don't empathize enough to offer kindness and warm environment for us to heal. They behave as if we had a lethal contagious disease, which might make them perish. So they avoid us. Which robs us from an opportunity to find some nurture, acceptance and warmth to heal.
@@catherinewilson1079 Omg! 👍 couldn't agree more. Catherine I love this community, from what I've read we've all experienced the narcissistic person one way or another over the years. We all understand what we've experienced and know it's not in our head. It can't be we are from different countries and have had the same experience of pattern. This is an affirmation this is not in our heads. These narcissists people have a pattern and we all have experienced the same. Happy holidays to all & be kind to yourself and most importantly love yourself there is only one of you in this beautiful planet of ours.
Yep and even when you hold on to your reality and your values and your self worth. They try to destroy that too. They might blame you for things you never said or did or accuse you of being needy clingy codependent and argumentative despite facts..
I’m so grateful for your message this morning. I’m so so grateful for your words, kindness and love in my life. Thank you for helping us and reminding us we do not deserve any kind of abuse. Sending love to all those wonderful kind people who are feeling valueless because their kind heart and value has been undermined by a narcissist. Don’t listen!! You are precious and valuable.
So true. Sadly, any narcissistic relationship is always abusive because they require you to abandon yourself and play a role. The only way you can stop the abuse is to quit playing the game, in whatever way you do that. I believe when you recognize the game and you find a way to stop participating in it, your recovery from it will start to take shape in the way you need it to. I hope so. Much love and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all.
Merry Christmas, Marley and Teresa. It's Christmas morning here. May the Lord help all the people who are still stuck in the most difficult situations. May the Lord help us to find the exit, to recover and then to become a lighthouse for others.
@lishmahlishmah Merry Christmas and Thank you for your heartfelt message. 🙏🏼 Amen. Be well my friend. You make me think of the different types of love (Greek). That was a beautiful gift this morning.
This absolutely hit the nail on the head! Two years of no contact with a horrifically narcissistic brother and his equally toxic wife. Two years of an endless stream of his flying monkeys. Having to walk away from my whole family just to recover. This video was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
The narcissist I met had already broken a kind, beautiful, humble woman before me, the mother of his children, so once I saw his strategy and how weak he really was although he thought he wasn't I knew I couldn't tolerate him trying to tear me down.I reflected his mess back on him and didn't buy his lies! I thank Holy God that His grace was sufficient to help me stand!!!!
Divine inspiration to overcome all obstacles begins with humility. This fundamental concept eludes narcissists, and their sadness for having embarked on an ill-fated journey is incongruent with those who are on the path to having a life of love and peace. The path to recovery begins with understanding narcissists, like others, are incapable of being judged by any mortal and they are solely responsible for meeting their own fate.
Gus stood up and moved when you said, "Enough!" Powerful video from your heart! Thank you Dr. C for all your videos this year and many years past. Asking for prayers that I can find the resources to move forward; OUT of the pathology of the narcissist. I have had enough. Just retired and finding the resources really overwhelming to move out of this place of unhappiness.
@joannajohnson696 I hear you and will put you in my prayers 🙏 Take care! I'm going through the same thing right now. Please say a little prayer for me as well 🙏🫂🙏
Dr C, I have been watching your videos for a couple of years now but have never posted a comment. I have been on the receiving end of many of the narcissistic behaviors that you describe, and you have helped me understand the "narcissistic pattern." But my favorite videos are the ones like this, where you offer compassionate encouragement and provide suggestions on how to move forward in a healthy way. I believe you were chosen for the work that you do, and you will be greatly rewarded. I wish you much happiness in 2025 and beyond. Thank you. ❤
I have been dealing with this problem for many years. I have essentially recovered but it is a complicated and multi-faceted struggle. It still rears its ugly head from time to time. Thank you for understanding the depth of the difficulties that narcissistic abuse survivors face. You are truly a gifted and insightful man. Thank you for your support. Your videos are lifesavers for many, many people.
A very dear friend on the of the world has just been diagnosed with lung cancer. I am devastated. He was such a good friend to me while I grew the scapegoat child in a narcissistic home. He wasn't swayed by attempts at triangulation, to turn him against me. Sixty years of friendship continuing across the world. I so treasure that.
I’m so sorry! That is truly a life saver to have someone like that. What a wretched illness. I’m sure they will appreciate any comfort and support you can offer ✨ sending love 💕
This changed everything for me, today especially. Thank you so much, Dr C. Please allow your emotions to be seen. Feeling that care from you when no one else really seems to care, is what so many of us need. I'm so grateful this video came on my screen today. ❤
Expecting toxic behavior from non-toxic people was what resisted my recovery. My initial pause to watch and wait for red flags was kind of a red flag others saw in me.
I'm not very good at reading people. I try to be friendly but the mistrust sometimes takes away the joy and so I stay home or do gardening. I quite enjoy my own company because I think it's easier to relax and I feel safer. Perhaps that's me being self-centered. I like helping people and volunteering but that's not the same as 1to1 relationships is it?
Thank you so much Dr. Carter! I grew up in this dysfunction and I’m still recovering. Thank you for giving us all a voice and a path out of this hell of a toxic family system.
“Nobody responds well to being abused.” Wow, thank you, Dr C! Certainly have been negatively characterized as “angry” and “difficult” by them, and only them
@@drebugsita It's people who have not experienced what you have experienced that comment that way. Remember when the shoe is on the other foot you'll be surprised how they respond.
@@drebugsita Please don't stress the same thing has happened to me. The postive outcome is knowing your own character and those who know you,will also know your character. The narcissistic person likes to tear us down. The truth is our true character is real not fake. Character and reaponse to abuse are to two different area's but the narcissist person likes to mix both to make themselves the victim. lol don't buy into it. Love yourself and be true to who you are. Happy holidays.
@@MarianneCatherine They don't want to Marianne. These people are grown ups not children. There is no excuses for their disrespect, disgusting behaviour towards their partner or children. What's hard to believe is people like this walk amongst us that's what I find hard to believe. Lacking empathy, emtions, kindness, what kind of a human is this? Happy holidays.
I needed no recovery after 56 years of "marriage." After 10 years of desperation, I came back to the Lord Jesus Christ. He took over the reigns of my life and after 56 years the narcissist was removed by the Court. I experienced such relief and peace which I enjoy to this day.🙌 🇵🇹
"Listen to yourself." Yes. "Do unto yourself" --whoa!!! I noticed when I give myself a break, I am more patient with others. I'm going to replay this video a few times! What a Christmas gift!
I have been treated by my ex husband who is a practicing forensic clinical psychologist with verbal and mental abuse from him repeatedly and almost total abandonment emotionally in our marriage. That’s extremely difficult to recover from…. I listen to Dr. C who I trust and the women who helped me at better-help counseling. Please be very careful who you interact with.
I always find it frightening how they get into such trusted position as psychologist or therapist. But then again of course they do, it's power and they end up somewhere.
Misogyny plus narcissism from covert abusers is the most devastating combination of all! Society thinks this us our new normal. Such a waste of female love & talent 💔❤️🩹♥️
Yup, my children, they think that their dad has done no wrong and they look at me like I'm the one that caused all the problems, but I know my Father in Heaven knows the truth. I just wish my children did.
I HAVE finally reached the point of “enough, I more”. It was a hard thing to accept because it was a parent… but thankfully I have chosen to surrounded myself by people who are NOT used to dysfunctional behaviour. Going to therapy and becoming a therapist myself, has been VERY HEALING
Yes, healing always takes time, indeed. Amanda, I wish you good luck with your youngest 🙏💛🙏 If he is stepping over your boundary, tell him where the exit 👀is 😉💪🦵before ☄. Sending you positive vibes 💕🤗
@roxymovie3938 Thanks Roxy. I also need to set boundaries with the eldest if I'm going to get through this. Sending hugs 🫂 and positive vibes ✨️ in your direction too 🙏🕯💖
Personally for me the primary reason, the "root-cause", is the deep internalization of the splitting (saying things, meaning things and doing things were never aligned) which makes grasping the reality very difficult for me.
Cognitive dissonance is so difficult to understand or explain to people who weren’t raised with it or never experienced it on an intimate level. It’s so crazy making when you’re trying to make some sense of nonsense!
God is truly amazing!!! Thank you Dr. C, this message was a gift!!! The biggest challenge is finding a support system that truly understands. My hourly strength comes from God, he knows my heart!!! To ALL that suffer from people who are not willing to do any self reflection, know that God sees all, embrace HIS love deep in your heart!!! Merry Christmas to all, may the joy of the season fill your hearts!!🌟🌠🕊️
"...do unto others as you would have them do unto you..." flipped to "do unto yourself as you would have others do to you" In the beginning of my healing journey I couldn't make the leap to treat myself the way I would have others treat me, because I was mired too deeply into self-hatred, believing that their abusive treatment of me was just and reasonable. In fact I believed my abusers so completely that I was compusively abusing myself on their behalf. So I flipped this golden rule around in a different way than what was mentioned. I realized I had always treated others the way I wanted to be treated. So I thought, "from now on I'll surround myself only with those who do unto me the way I've always done unto others." It was a startling realization that I'd be pleased to encounter those who mirror me!😯 And once I realized how delighful it would be to meet myself, it simultaneously threw a wrench into the persistent self-hatred that I had developed because of the decades-long narc abuse. And finally I was able to stop the self-hatred and self-abuse. Thank you, DrC! Your videos have been a tremendous help! 🙏🏼💞
Thank u for saying this. I had a light come on inside with how u told this strategy & I see how I am so full of self doubt that I wonder if I actually am full of self hatred or is that more stuff he has filled my head with and I actually really do like who I am. I would like to meet more people that are just as considerate and thoughtful of me as I am to them. Thank u for sharing ❤
@challon420 "...I actually really do like who I am." That part, right there, YES! 🤗 After years of abuse I finally remembered that I used to like myself, trusted myself, and I used to feel self-satisfied. After a lot of hard work and self-compassion I'm back to the point where I trust and like myself again. I hope you can soon find your way back too!👍🏼💞
I have limited contact with family due to a mix of abuse/care. I am late diagnosed autistic/CPTSD and waiting for mental health assessment for a dissociative disorder. I am 50 and can't work because of how my conditions affect me, I struggle with basic day to day functioning. I got some outside support and a few trustworthy people in my life and lots of youtube videos like Dr Carter, Jerry Wise, Dr Ramani and Jay Reid. Thanks for this video Dr Carter and seasons greetings to everyone from UK.
Yes! I can push through the pain and grief to get to a place of freedom and peace! I am going to hang on to this remark to help me get through tough times. ….We on Team Healthy have done hard things in the past. We can do hard things again! We are survivors! We are worth it! Hugs to all who are suffering narcissistic abuse.
This is the second xmas my 60yr old son has left me on my own im 80yr old its so hard hes become a very cold cruel man i feel like giving up on life 💔 but i will not give him that satisfaction its a sad time of the year for myself and others who are dealing with these poeple merry Christmas to everyone from Australia 🇦🇺
@@judystevens6039 Judy Merry Christmas to you. I am so so sad you've had to endure a Christmas all alone. Yes it would be very hard at the age of 80. I am proud of you for not giving up. Stay strong 💪 and remember you gave him life. Your the mother Judy without you he would not be here. Bless you and love what you achieved. Happy holidays from Australia Judy.
@bezza2005 thank you for your kind words I ended up cooking lunch for my elderly neighbour and we had a lovely day being in Australia 🇦🇺 it was a hot day ,thank God for air conditioning, I have a new great grandaughter due in April my grandaughters first child at 38yrs old so looking forward to that
@ You are most welcome Judy, I am so happy to hear about the new arrive in April. Good to hear you wasn't alone so happy for you. Yes it was hot down here too. Have a wonderful new year and take care of yourself. 💐🥳
Dr C! I find the way you explain things so helpful with no blame. I'm away from the narc for 2.5 years and I still enjoy and get great info from your podcasts! Thank you for continuing to be helpful ❤
Thank you so much, Dr. Carter, for all your insightful and supportive posts! I am 71 and have been in & out of therapy since age 16 (a few good therapists are why I am still here). Beginning with my mother, I've been wounded by narcissists my entire life and have always struggled with feeling inadequate and worthless! Thanks to you and Dr. Ramani, I am beginning to heal. Understanding now that this will take time is liberating! Wishing you wonderful holidays! This empath is forever grateful to have found you!
Recovery is possible and it’s worth every effort along the healing journey because the other side is full of light, love, joy and peace. Merry Christmas everyone ❤❤❤
I see my older sister stuck in a similar relationship much like mine was with nex. I think our upbringing contributed a lot to choices we made in partners. Dr. C is right. You gravitate toward that disaster. The trick is to learn a whole new set of behaviors and reactions that protect you, not expose you to more trauma.
After 40 years of being with my narc, there is so much that I have gone through that it would sound unbelievable. And I will NEVER get involved with another man if I can ever get away from this one. I’m embarrassed that I have accepted his behavior for all of these years. I feel like a fool.
@@lisab7977 Please don't feel bad, it's hard to leave, it's hard to let go even after all the aweful stuff they do. Be kind to yourself and protect yourself from further harm. Thank you for sharing.
I have listened to many of your UTube counselling sessions, and I'm happy to say this one falls at the top of the heap! What a blessing you are to those of us who have suffered alone under a heavy hand. God bless you sir and all of those closest to you. I am starting to think of you as a friend; one I can offer up prayers to God on your behalf. Peace on earth good will to man. Merry Christmas, Dr. Carter!
Thank you so much dr C for every minute of this heartfelt message. You are a man who "walks with God", as the Bible says. Dr C, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You are a blessing to me, to all of us. May God bless you and your family, abundantly 🙏💚 (( Gus pointed out very nicely and effectively the passage "enough is enough" 😇 ))
You have described by experience to a T. It helps so so much to know what I am dealing with. Merry Christmas to everyone from Beaverton Oregon! ❤ Thanks Dr C!!!
This was the sweetest message and the sweetest sentiment for the season, Dr Les Carter! 💙 🌹✨️ I am so grateful for the gift of you! God is good! Seasons Blessings to you and your family. 🕯✨️ Teresa
This video is so point on where those of us live who are recovering from the narcissistic abuse. Thank you for putting into words so such of what I have walked through and continue to feel as I heal. It is so helpful and encouraging to know there are those who truly understand the journey.
So glad to find this page again. I’m so exhausted with the narcissist in my life (my Mom). I want to be done with her. She has alienated almost everyone and I want to bow out as well. I’m damaged but want to be the best version of myself with the life I have left. Thank you for your beautiful words.
Thank-you so very, very much, Dr. Carter. I really needed this podcast today. I have tears because of your compassion and heart-to-heart words. Explaining complex trauma along with complex grief helps me. I didn't realize I was suffering with complex grief which would explain my personal rollercoaster of trying to heal. I suffered every form of abuse that is possible. Some days of emotional pain feel like I'm never going to recover. Then after suffering for these few days, I feel a little bit stronger and a little bit more whole. Thank-you so much. I'm sending you a virtual hug. Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas.
You're truly a Godsend,Dr. Carter. I can't even put into adequate words the depth of my gratitude to you. This particular message is so timely and apropos. Much love and blessings. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Thank you, Dr. Carter, for your hope filled, kind and loving words. Blessings to you and your loved ones for a Happy Holiday Season. You have more gifts to give us than Santa himself. How truly grateful I am for your help and wisdom.🎄✝💜🎁💜✝🎄😌
Dr Carter ☀️ I’m going to listen to this video often, very often, until I dig myself out of this hole I’m in. Every word is Golden. Thank you for the love, care and humanity you share with us. ☮️ ☮️ ☮️
I’m going through this now. I’m so grateful for these videos, I feel so much less alone in this experience. It’s really hard when this person is your father. ❤
Dr C....the truth you share with us always helps to open our eyes & validates our suspicions when we start to question or blame ourselves in dealing with these people. Thanks as always and wishing you the best of health & continued wisdom in the New Year ahead. We are so blessed to learn from you. ❤
Thank you Dr. C!! You have been helping me in so many way! I was married to a N for 25 years. He divorced me after many years of gaslighting ( I was so brainwashed that I didn’t know he was a N). He had convinced me I was a N and I was “ broken and beyond help”. My story is unbelievable. I’d like to write a book one day and help others. Thank you for all your help.
This was pure gold DR Le's, Thank you so much for this, I sense covert predators from a mile, There's no way I'll allow myself to get in to unhealthy relationships again, No one can take away my experiences and knowledge, I won't let history repeat it's self, I'm on my healing journey, Everything that happened I didn't deserve it, my self respect and dignity comes first, I deserve better and happiness, Peace, love and respect to you, Gus and all, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-):-):-)
Thank you for this video and message! I’m 4 months separated from a narcissist and it’s been hard but so much better. There’s peace even in the uncertainty and unknown. Understanding and believing that I deserved so much more and so much better has been a slow but steady process. I’m so glad to be free!❤
Thank you Dr Carter .. such timely message!! You Sir are an incredible blessing to me ... God bless you Dr C and here's to Team Healthy 🙏🕊️🕊️ LET PEACE BE YOUR UMPIRE!
Thank you so much, Dr. C for talking about Complex-PTSD. I affect so many ares in our lives. Merry Christmas & God bless you & your family, including Gus. Our loving mascot.🎄
Xmas, pretense at looking good, getting gifts I don't want whilst being invalidated and emotionally baited and being ill(chronic illnesses) way more than normal and feeling hellish. If I see one more dressing gown from my mother I might scream! Every year for years now. We don't have the same taste and I would have loved some books or dvds or a small furry but no all of that is the usual dressing gown! With side helpings of feeling terrible. Now I'm really ill and trying not to be upset at not being seen. Just to be seen, heard and have normal conversation with some compassion and validation would have been nice. Nope! Takes me right back to childhood and feeling confused at all the lovely things but things feeling disconnected and uncomfortable and confusing.
Thank you, Dr Carter. This helps. I appreciate you so much! You have a package coming your way soon. Just a few thank you gifts and happy new year gifts from the store
Thank you Dr. Carter for your encouragement. I've been dealing with manipulations lies and put downs by my husband for years. Family of origin was worse. I'm still getting better! ❤ 🙏 🎉
Learning a lot of stress relief techniques helps recover such as breathing exercises, self massage, an Qi Kung for stress relief can help in recovery because abuse causes all kinds of tensions in the body that don't just go away.
This is a great narrative of what it feels like. The internal conversation. Just amazing. Thank you. I'm better than I was but I'm working on truly moving forward. And it's complicated. Yes, the lost relationships are so difficult. Thank you.
Having thought I’d recovered from my narcissistic abuse PTSD initiated six year ago, I was hit with a wave of depression and PTSD feelings during the pre-Christmas build-up. Is it normal for PTSD to rear up again after a period of normalcy? I felt like I was right back there in the middle of it. Your phrase of ‘negative uniqueness’ perfectly described how I felt looking at never ending idealistic images of family Christmas time plus the narcissist is still part of my social circle. Such perfect timing for me to hear this post.
I got Protection order. Feel a bit more energy. After 2 yrs. But thought why am I so tired exhausted trying to get things done. Am older over age 60 thought it's my age but this makes sense thank you so much for this info.
Merry Christmas, Dr. C! This video is 100% on the mark for my experience. It's been 9 years since my last nightmare, the worst of them this far, and I don't know that I will ever trust a man again. Yep I know therapy would be required!
I have been having flashbacks of things the narcissist did to me years ago. I wish they would stop, but I think that I need to work through them to fully heal.
Thank you for all the video’s you made on the damaging effects of narcissism. I lost track of the amount of video’s I watched. I watch them all. To the people who could wonder what drives you to make so many video’s, I’d say look at your facial and vocal expressions at 10:30. It says it all ❤
Hi Dr C! This is a timely video for me. Thank you 😊 I'm going to show it to my sons so they can truly understand what's happening in my life. You have given me the courage to move forward. I'm so very grateful for all that you do for Team Healthy! What would we do without you!?!? ❤ Wishing you and your family, Gus and Team Healthy a very Merry and Peaceful Christmas 🎄 ❤🎄 God bless!
'NOBDDY RESPONDS WELL TO ABUSE' thankyou so much Dr. Carter
Thank you for saying that we aren’t supposed to respond well when someone mistreats us!
Definitely
Yep! Such a great point 👍✨️
Yes, a needed wake up call!!
@Tracy_3176
Tracy believe me, being abused your not suppose to just sit there and take it. Off course your going to respond. It's natural. Take care.
I am expected to be patient and ignore his behavior. Not happening. I am ignoring him! So far, so good. I didn't call him to wish him a Happy New Year. I feel free of his narcissistic control tactics(he expects me to call him first/chase after him.) I won't chase after him!
PTSD
Staying No Contact really helps
100% correct
Yes it does. I have low contact because of my situation. However, for each day I don't have to make contact, the more I heal and the stronger I become.
Another round of abuse doesn't help in recovery.
@@JackieFerrell-f6o
Yes but what if you are financially cut off my Narcissistic partner keeps saying come back and you fix yourself. It's like hell
@@Ratgirl2I understand. For about four months I wasn't sure I would have a place to live. Each step I took over 13 months took time and careful thought not knowing how things would go with each step I took. It's scary, extremely stressful and a horrible nightmare to especially be in this situation when the person causing you this much pain and trauma was once someone you loved and trusted.
Rediscovering self worth after years of devaluation is my biggest hurdle. ❤️
Yes.
Amen❤
@istateyourname4710 You'll get there coz you're so worth it 🫂❤️
You can do it!💪🏾
@@istateyourname4710
Keep working on self worth it's a journey and you will get better. ❤️🩹
You are such a blessing to those of us struggling to recover. Thank you. 🙏
Often you just know something is off or dysfunctional and gradually realise, even if you're not aware of the term narcissism.
Yes. This.
This is so true. My body lets me know when someone is toxic. I've gotten jitters and even stomach aches suddenly. Sure enough they were indeed narcs. Gotta trust the gut.
I knew this when I was five and Dad was in his twenties. He hasn't changed, but I am ignoring him, I improved!
Yes!,, I always knew something was off, tried for years to figure it out. Then I learned about NPD. Wow it all started making sense. I have discovered that I didn’t even remember a lot of the abuse until I went no contact whatsoever, and began my healing.
@@jammer930I would get really chilled. I would need a blanket when he would start talking at me, interrogating me, telling me what to think, how I should feel and so on and so on….
Thanks for the emotion. It's COLD out here. People don't know what to say. They don't know what to do. They don't want to be bothered. They don't even try to help or understand 99% of the time. They come across as not caring. Thank you for caring.
Same experience here, feel for you
@Mom2J6073 So very true! And I just wanted to add one more thing. People are so very busy with their own lives and problems. I also feel you don't know who you can trust. 😌 Thank God for Dr C and Team Healthy!!! This is a safe place 🙏 ❤️ 🙏 We're all in the same boat.
This has happened to me too - but I’ve thought about this and I wouldn’t understand this behaviour myself if I hadn’t lived through it. The only people I know who have understood me are people who have lived through this themselves. So I can’t blame those dear ones who don’t understand. I’m not sure I would understand it now if I hadn’t listened to teaching videos on the subject. And my hope is that I’ll be through this in the next few months, knowing the love, joy, fun, interest in life that I used to know.
It's hard being alone. No understanding from "friends" They're too busy.
This! People either don't believe us, or they send "not my circus-not my monkeys" message. They simply don't empathize enough to offer kindness and warm environment for us to heal. They behave as if we had a lethal contagious disease, which might make them perish. So they avoid us. Which robs us from an opportunity to find some nurture, acceptance and warmth to heal.
Narcissists like to "minimize" their words and actions, making us think we are imagining things. I've learned that over time.
Gaslighting! (They are experts at this!)
@@taniadolphy5122
True true. Happy holidays.
@@catherinewilson1079
Omg! 👍 couldn't agree more.
Catherine I love this community, from what I've read we've all experienced the narcissistic person one way or another over the years.
We all understand what we've experienced and know it's not in our head. It can't be we are from different countries and have had the same experience of pattern.
This is an affirmation this is not in our heads. These narcissists people have a pattern and we all have experienced the same.
Happy holidays to all & be kind to yourself and most importantly love yourself there is only one of you in this beautiful planet of ours.
Yep and even when you hold on to your reality and your values and your self worth. They try to destroy that too. They might blame you for things you never said or did or accuse you of being needy clingy codependent and argumentative despite facts..
I’m so grateful for your message this morning. I’m so so grateful for your words, kindness and love in my life. Thank you for helping us and reminding us we do not deserve any kind of abuse. Sending love to all those wonderful kind people who are feeling valueless because their kind heart and value has been undermined by a narcissist. Don’t listen!! You are precious and valuable.
Thanks so much, Andrea.
😢
❤ Thank you so very Much. Bless you
@@SurvivingNarcissismyou can't imagine how much it cost us financially and time she's sick and who ever supporting her crush is an evil person
@@kitdriscoll1288you feeling like the sick is only in your face 🤕
So true. Sadly, any narcissistic relationship is always abusive because they require you to abandon yourself and play a role. The only way you can stop the abuse is to quit playing the game, in whatever way you do that. I believe when you recognize the game and you find a way to stop participating in it, your recovery from it will start to take shape in the way you need it to. I hope so. Much love and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all.
Merry Christmas and a Blessed 2025, Marley. 🕯✨️
Merry Christmas, Marley
and Teresa. It's Christmas morning here.
May the Lord help all
the people who are still stuck in the most
difficult situations.
May the Lord help us
to find the exit, to recover and then
to become a lighthouse
for others.
@lishmahlishmah Merry Christmas and Thank you for your heartfelt message. 🙏🏼 Amen. Be well my friend. You make me think of the different types of love (Greek). That was a beautiful gift this morning.
That's so on point. Abandon yourself and play a role. That's helped me today, thank you ✌️
Yes Dr Carter. Complex trauma is really difficult. Betrayal trauma 💔
This absolutely hit the nail on the head! Two years of no contact with a horrifically narcissistic brother and his equally toxic wife. Two years of an endless stream of his flying monkeys. Having to walk away from my whole family just to recover. This video was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
Your experience was similar to mine. I'm happy you disconnected with your abusers. I did the same recently.
@@nancyhansen30
Sad to hear take care of yourself. Happy holidays.
The narcissist I met had already broken a kind, beautiful, humble woman before me, the mother of his children, so once I saw his strategy and how weak he really was although he thought he wasn't I knew I couldn't tolerate him trying to tear me down.I reflected his mess back on him and didn't buy his lies! I thank Holy God that His grace was sufficient to help me stand!!!!
@@lifeyunique
Well done a high five 🖐️ to you. Happy holidays.
Divine inspiration to overcome all obstacles begins with humility. This fundamental concept eludes narcissists, and their sadness for having embarked on an ill-fated journey is incongruent with those who are on the path to having a life of love and peace. The path to recovery begins with understanding narcissists, like others, are incapable of being judged by any mortal and they are solely responsible for meeting their own fate.
🙌🏼🕯
Eloquently and beautifully put.
After my divorce, I used a phrase to help myself, "his burdens were never mine to bear."
🕊️
@@brucefriedman1
Total agree. 👍
Gus stood up and moved when you said, "Enough!" Powerful video from your heart! Thank you Dr. C for all your videos this year and many years past. Asking for prayers that I can find the resources to move forward; OUT of the pathology of the narcissist. I have had enough. Just retired and finding the resources really overwhelming to move out of this place of unhappiness.
Prayer request granted, Joanna.
@joannajohnson696 I hear you and will put you in my prayers 🙏 Take care! I'm going through the same thing right now.
Please say a little prayer for me as well 🙏🫂🙏
🙏
I had to do the same thing at 64. Never fear, there is light at the end of the tunnel! Stay strong and keep the faith🙏🏾
Dr C, I have been watching your videos for a couple of years now but have never posted a comment. I have been on the receiving end of many of the narcissistic behaviors that you describe, and you have helped me understand the "narcissistic pattern." But my favorite videos are the ones like this, where you offer compassionate encouragement and provide suggestions on how to move forward in a healthy way. I believe you were chosen for the work that you do, and you will be greatly rewarded. I wish you much happiness in 2025 and beyond. Thank you. ❤
Thanks for taking the time to be an encourager...know that I wish you the best in your ongoing growth!! Dr. C
This video is a wonderful Christmas present, Dr. Carter. I know you mean it that way, and it is very much appreciated.
I have been dealing with this problem for many years. I have essentially recovered but it is a complicated and multi-faceted struggle. It still rears its ugly head from time to time. Thank you for understanding the depth of the difficulties that narcissistic abuse survivors face. You are truly a gifted and insightful man. Thank you for your support. Your videos are lifesavers for many, many people.
A very dear friend on the of the world has just been diagnosed with lung cancer. I am devastated. He was such a good friend to me while I grew the scapegoat child in a narcissistic home. He wasn't swayed by attempts at triangulation, to turn him against me.
Sixty years of friendship continuing across the world. I so treasure that.
I’m so sorry! That is truly a life saver to have someone like that. What a wretched illness. I’m sure they will appreciate any comfort and support you can offer ✨ sending love 💕
@@snowbear1877 A truly precious friend who has brought you happy and comforting memories to treasure
Nailed it Doc! Negative uniqueness.
This changed everything for me, today especially. Thank you so much, Dr C. Please allow your emotions to be seen. Feeling that care from you when no one else really seems to care, is what so many of us need. I'm so grateful this video came on my screen today. ❤
I'm so pleased. Keep leaning forward...I'm pulling for you, Charlotte.
Expecting toxic behavior from non-toxic people was what resisted my recovery. My initial pause to watch and wait for red flags was kind of a red flag others saw in me.
I am cautiously forming new relationships.
@ Caution up front is a good idea. But once you are convinced, don’t hold back.
I'm not very good at reading people. I try to be friendly but the mistrust sometimes takes away the joy and so I stay home or do gardening. I quite enjoy my own company because I think it's easier to relax and I feel safer. Perhaps that's me being self-centered. I like helping people and volunteering but that's not the same as 1to1 relationships is it?
This is an issue for me as well. I'm so guarded.
@@jwilson6315No it's not.
Complex trauma was real for me for 30 years. I couldn’t live like that anymore.
I can't believe I get rid of these people I feel bad it's hard to live with sick person and now the others
Thank you so much Dr. Carter! I grew up in this dysfunction and I’m still recovering. Thank you for giving us all a voice and a path out of this hell of a toxic family system.
“Nobody responds well to being abused.” Wow, thank you, Dr C! Certainly have been negatively characterized as “angry” and “difficult” by them, and only them
@@drebugsita
It's people who have not experienced what you have experienced that comment that way. Remember when the shoe is on the other foot you'll be surprised how they respond.
@drebugsita Of course, it's only by THEM!!! They don't comprehend anything!!! After all these years, I still find it hard to believe 😳😯🙄
@@drebugsita
Please don't stress the same thing has happened to me. The postive outcome is knowing your own character and those who know you,will also know your character. The narcissistic person likes to tear us down.
The truth is our true character is real not fake. Character and reaponse to abuse are to two different area's but the narcissist person likes to mix both to make themselves the victim. lol don't buy into it. Love yourself and be true to who you are. Happy holidays.
@@MarianneCatherine
They don't want to Marianne. These people are grown ups not children. There is no excuses for their disrespect, disgusting behaviour towards their partner or children. What's hard to believe is people like this walk amongst us that's what I find hard to believe. Lacking empathy, emtions, kindness, what kind of a human is this? Happy holidays.
@@bezza2005 Thank you very much. I appreciate your point that character and response to abuse are different, very true. Wishing you the best
I needed no recovery after 56 years of "marriage." After 10 years of desperation, I came back to the Lord Jesus Christ. He took over the reigns of my life and after 56 years the narcissist was removed by the Court.
I experienced such relief and peace which I enjoy to this day.🙌 🇵🇹
Amen. Waiting on this right now
I now realize that my faith is what saved my sanity! I am moving on to freedom.
🙌🏼🕯
Aww! God bless you!
"Listen to yourself." Yes. "Do unto yourself" --whoa!!! I noticed when I give myself a break, I am more patient with others. I'm going to replay this video a few times! What a Christmas gift!
@@sage9836 All the best 👍
@amandaliverpool3374 Hi Amanda! Holiday Greetings to you!
I have been treated by my ex husband who is a practicing forensic clinical psychologist with verbal and mental abuse from him repeatedly and almost total abandonment emotionally in our marriage. That’s extremely difficult to recover from…. I listen to Dr. C who I trust and the women who helped me at better-help counseling. Please be very careful who you interact with.
I always find it frightening how they get into such trusted position as psychologist or therapist. But then again of course they do, it's power and they end up somewhere.
My sociopathic sister is a licensed psychologist. I understand completely. 😢
Misogyny plus narcissism from covert abusers is the most devastating combination of all! Society thinks this us our new normal. Such a waste of female love & talent 💔❤️🩹♥️
@@cairosilver2932 It’s also a way for them to hone their craft, learn new ways to manipulate their victims.
Highly doubt its ethical for your ex husband to treat you. Sounds like something he could loose his license over
Yup, my children, they think that their dad has done no wrong and they look at me like I'm the one that caused all the problems, but I know my Father in Heaven knows the truth. I just wish my children did.
Same. I feel for you.
I HAVE finally reached the point of “enough, I more”. It was a hard thing to accept because it was a parent… but thankfully I have chosen to surrounded myself by people who are NOT used to dysfunctional behaviour. Going to therapy and becoming a therapist myself, has been VERY HEALING
There is no quick fix. It takes time!
Yes, healing always takes time, indeed.
Amanda, I wish you good luck with your youngest 🙏💛🙏
If he is stepping over your boundary, tell him where the exit 👀is 😉💪🦵before ☄.
Sending you positive vibes 💕🤗
@roxymovie3938 Thanks Roxy. I also need to set boundaries with the eldest if I'm going to get through this.
Sending hugs 🫂 and positive vibes ✨️ in your direction too 🙏🕯💖
It took me years to recharge energy that was drained by energy vampires.
@@yukio_saito I'm still working on it 💪
@@amandaliverpool3374
Yes it does time. Happy holidays.
God bless you, Dr. Carter
Personally for me the primary reason, the "root-cause", is the deep internalization of the splitting (saying things, meaning things and doing things were never aligned) which makes grasping the reality very difficult for me.
This is multiplied when it was your lifelong experience, you have to be able to discern.
❤well said
@@roxymovie3938 Yes. It wears you down ❤️
Cognitive dissonance is so difficult to understand or explain to people who weren’t raised with it or never experienced it on an intimate level. It’s so crazy making when you’re trying to make some sense of nonsense!
@@well_weatheredme 2
I find I am much more aggressive towards those who give me a hard time, and I see no resolve in the communication. ABSOLUTELY No tolerance 😊
I have become the same way. And one particular narcissist is in danger of me. I just don’t seem to have any other roadmap.
Common reaction! It’s hard not yo be triggered a lot
God is truly amazing!!! Thank you Dr. C, this message was a gift!!! The biggest challenge is finding a support system that truly understands. My hourly strength comes from God, he knows my heart!!! To ALL that suffer from people who are not willing to do any self reflection, know that God sees all, embrace HIS love deep in your heart!!! Merry Christmas to all, may the joy of the season fill your hearts!!🌟🌠🕊️
To you as well. Nicely stated.
Merry Christmas 🕊🕯✨️
"...do unto others as you would have them do unto you..."
flipped to
"do unto yourself as you would have others do to you"
In the beginning of my healing journey I couldn't make the leap to treat myself the way I would have others treat me, because I was mired too deeply into self-hatred, believing that their abusive treatment of me was just and reasonable. In fact I believed my abusers so completely that I was compusively abusing myself on their behalf. So I flipped this golden rule around in a different way than what was mentioned. I realized I had always treated others the way I wanted to be treated. So I thought, "from now on I'll surround myself only with those who do unto me the way I've always done unto others." It was a startling realization that I'd be pleased to encounter those who mirror me!😯 And once I realized how delighful it would be to meet myself, it simultaneously threw a wrench into the persistent self-hatred that I had developed because of the decades-long narc abuse. And finally I was able to stop the self-hatred and self-abuse.
Thank you, DrC! Your videos have been a tremendous help! 🙏🏼💞
Thank u for saying this. I had a light come on inside with how u told this strategy & I see how I am so full of self doubt that I wonder if I actually am full of self hatred or is that more stuff he has filled my head with and I actually really do like who I am. I would like to meet more people that are just as considerate and thoughtful of me as I am to them. Thank u for sharing ❤
@challon420 "...I actually really do like who I am."
That part, right there, YES! 🤗
After years of abuse I finally remembered that I used to like myself, trusted myself, and I used to feel self-satisfied. After a lot of hard work and self-compassion I'm back to the point where I trust and like myself again. I hope you can soon find your way back too!👍🏼💞
I have limited contact with family due to a mix of abuse/care. I am late diagnosed autistic/CPTSD and waiting for mental health assessment for a dissociative disorder. I am 50 and can't work because of how my conditions affect me, I struggle with basic day to day functioning. I got some outside support and a few trustworthy people in my life and lots of youtube videos like Dr Carter, Jerry Wise, Dr Ramani and Jay Reid. Thanks for this video Dr Carter and seasons greetings to everyone from UK.
Yes! I can push through the pain and grief to get to a place of freedom and peace! I am going to hang on to this remark to help me get through tough times. ….We on Team Healthy have done hard things in the past. We can do hard things again! We are survivors! We are worth it! Hugs to all who are suffering narcissistic abuse.
Thank you ❤❤
@@Dgirl2 d x city
@@Dgirl2
Hi Dgirl2 , agree totally. 💯 % happy holidays.
Trust is so difficult.
Learn to trust yourself plz 💔❤️🩹♥️
This is the second xmas my 60yr old son has left me on my own im 80yr old its so hard hes become a very cold cruel man i feel like giving up on life 💔 but i will not give him that satisfaction its a sad time of the year for myself and others who are dealing with these poeple merry Christmas to everyone from Australia 🇦🇺
@@judystevens6039
Judy Merry Christmas to you. I am so so sad you've had to endure a Christmas all alone. Yes it would be very hard at the age of 80. I am proud of you for not giving up. Stay strong 💪 and remember you gave him life. Your the mother Judy without you he would not be here. Bless you and love what you achieved. Happy holidays from Australia Judy.
@bezza2005 thank you for your kind words I ended up cooking lunch for my elderly neighbour and we had a lovely day being in Australia 🇦🇺 it was a hot day ,thank God for air conditioning, I have a new great grandaughter due in April my grandaughters first child at 38yrs old so looking forward to that
@
You are most welcome Judy, I am so happy to hear about the new arrive in April. Good to hear you wasn't alone so happy for you.
Yes it was hot down here too. Have a wonderful new year and take care of yourself. 💐🥳
Thank-you Dr. Carter. You are appreciated more than you know.❤
Dr C! I find the way you explain things so helpful with no blame. I'm away from the narc for 2.5 years and I still enjoy and get great info from your podcasts! Thank you for continuing to be helpful ❤
Thank you so much, Dr. Carter, for all your insightful and supportive posts! I am 71 and have been in & out of therapy since age 16 (a few good therapists are why I am still here). Beginning with my mother, I've been wounded by narcissists my entire life and have always struggled with feeling inadequate and worthless! Thanks to you and Dr. Ramani, I am beginning to heal. Understanding now that this will take time is liberating! Wishing you wonderful holidays! This empath is forever grateful to have found you!
Same here
Recovery is possible and it’s worth every effort along the healing journey because the other side is full of light, love, joy and peace. Merry Christmas everyone ❤❤❤
I wish I could get there somehow! 😩
I see my older sister stuck in a similar relationship much like mine was with nex. I think our upbringing contributed a lot to choices we made in partners. Dr. C is right. You gravitate toward that disaster. The trick is to learn a whole new set of behaviors and reactions that protect you, not expose you to more trauma.
@@Hatbox948 I'm sorry for your sister. It must be hard for you to see ❤️🫂
After 40 years of being with my narc, there is so much that I have gone through that it would sound unbelievable. And I will NEVER get involved with another man if I can ever get away from this one. I’m embarrassed that I have accepted his behavior for all of these years. I feel like a fool.
@@lisab7977
Please don't feel bad, it's hard to leave, it's hard to let go even after all the aweful stuff they do.
Be kind to yourself and protect yourself from further harm. Thank you for sharing.
Hearing your emotions come through some is appreciated by me.
I’ve forgotten what that sounds like coming through another person.
Caring is so important to us because it wasn’t in our mirrors 💔❤️🩹♥️
God bless you Dr. C! You've been like a wise grandpa that I never had and I am so thankful to God for your wise counsel and advice!
You are very welcome
I have listened to many of your UTube counselling sessions, and I'm happy to say this one falls at the top of the heap! What a blessing you are to those of us who have suffered alone under a heavy hand.
God bless you sir and all of those closest to you.
I am starting to think of you as a friend; one I can offer up prayers to God on your behalf.
Peace on earth good will to man.
Merry Christmas, Dr. Carter!
So pleased for this feedback. Peace to you in this Christmas season. Dr. C
Thank you so much dr C for every minute of this heartfelt message.
You are a man who "walks with God", as the Bible says.
Dr C, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
You are a blessing to me, to all of us.
May God bless you and your family, abundantly
🙏💚
(( Gus pointed out very nicely and effectively the passage "enough is enough" 😇 ))
You are very welcome, lishmah!
You have described by experience to a T. It helps so so much to know what I am dealing with.
Merry Christmas to everyone from Beaverton Oregon! ❤
Thanks Dr C!!!
Merry Christmas 🕯✨️
This was the sweetest message and the sweetest sentiment for the season, Dr Les Carter! 💙 🌹✨️ I am so grateful for the gift of you! God is good! Seasons Blessings to you and your family. 🕯✨️
Teresa
You are so welcome. Happy holidays for you as well.
This video is so point on where those of us live who are recovering from the narcissistic abuse. Thank you for putting into words so such of what I have walked through and continue to feel as I heal. It is so helpful and encouraging to know there are those who truly understand the journey.
Who care 💔❤️🩹♥️
What a wonderful message, thanks Dr.C. Blessings to all of you ❤
As you most likely know, DrC, I am looking forward to this one. Holidays are rough.
Same here. A big hug
You know I'm in your corner, KellyJean.
We are in this together. ❤
In your corner too missy. Really struggling over holidays. No family & totally alone.
So glad to find this page again. I’m so exhausted with the narcissist in my life (my Mom). I want to be done with her. She has alienated almost everyone and I want to bow out as well. I’m damaged but want to be the best version of myself with the life I have left. Thank you for your beautiful words.
Keep leaning forward, Lana!
A bright and rich Christmas for you, Doc. Much appreciation for all your thoughtful, supportive information.
You are very welcome, and I hope you have a meaningful Christmas as well.
Thank you, Dr. C, from the bottom of my heart. Merry Christmas 🎄
You are very welcome, Linda. Merry Christmas to you as well.
Topman Les so clear to see through these narcs now ,unbelievable cruel creatures........know your worth and never let anyone tell you different !! 💪
Thank-you so very, very much, Dr. Carter. I really needed this podcast today. I have tears because of your compassion and heart-to-heart words. Explaining complex trauma along with complex grief helps me. I didn't realize I was suffering with complex grief which would explain my personal rollercoaster of trying to heal. I suffered every form of abuse that is possible. Some days of emotional pain feel like I'm never going to recover. Then after suffering for these few days, I feel a little bit stronger and a little bit more whole. Thank-you so much. I'm sending you a virtual hug. Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas.
Thank you, Dr. C! I so needed this video right before the holidays ❤ have a wonderful Christmas time and God bless you 💫
Self kindness is our birthright. Thanks, Doc. I appreciate that very important message. God bless you. And, Happy Christmas. ❤🎉
You're truly a Godsend,Dr. Carter. I can't even put into adequate words the depth of my gratitude to you. This particular message is so timely and apropos.
Much love and blessings.
Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Thank you, Dr. Carter, for your hope filled, kind and loving words. Blessings to you and your loved ones for a Happy Holiday Season. You have more gifts to give us than Santa himself. How truly grateful I am for your help and wisdom.🎄✝💜🎁💜✝🎄😌
Dr Carter ☀️ I’m going to listen to this video often, very often, until I dig myself out of this hole I’m in. Every word is Golden. Thank you for the love, care and humanity you share with us. ☮️ ☮️ ☮️
So glad it resonated! Dr. C
@@Teacher369 ☕️🫖☕️all the best 👍
I’m going through this now. I’m so grateful for these videos, I feel so much less alone in this experience. It’s really hard when this person is your father. ❤
I’m coming from that same place 💔❤️🩹♥️
@ I’m so sorry 😔
Dr C....the truth you share with us always helps to open our eyes & validates our suspicions when we start to question or blame ourselves in dealing with these people. Thanks as always and wishing you the best of health & continued wisdom in the New Year ahead. We are so blessed to learn from you. ❤
Thanks so much.
Eloquently and beautifully put.
I hate the person I turned into. But I am forgiving myself and getting stronger every day and trying for dignity, respect, civility.
Thank you Dr. C!! You have been helping me in so many way! I was married to a N for 25 years. He divorced me after many years of gaslighting ( I was so brainwashed that I didn’t know he was a N). He had convinced me I was a N and I was “ broken and beyond help”. My story is unbelievable. I’d like to write a book one day and help others. Thank you for all your help.
Never mind the “big things”, it’s the incessant belittling & every day abuse. 😢😢😢
This was pure gold DR Le's, Thank you so much for this, I sense covert predators from a mile, There's no way I'll allow myself to get in to unhealthy relationships again, No one can take away my experiences and knowledge, I won't let history repeat it's self, I'm on my healing journey, Everything that happened I didn't deserve it, my self respect and dignity comes first, I deserve better and happiness, Peace, love and respect to you, Gus and all, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-):-):-)
Leo Tolstoy's quote, "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way," appears in his novel Anna Karenina.
Great quote.
Thank you for this video and message! I’m 4 months separated from a narcissist and it’s been hard but so much better. There’s peace even in the uncertainty and unknown. Understanding and believing that I deserved so much more and so much better has been a slow but steady process. I’m so glad to be free!❤
@@Ma-Says
Hi Ma-Say,
Beautiful, love your words as I resonate with them. Happy holidays. 🥳
Thank you Dr Carter .. such timely message!! You Sir are an incredible blessing to me ... God bless you Dr C and here's to Team Healthy 🙏🕊️🕊️ LET PEACE BE YOUR UMPIRE!
Thanks, Julie! Merry Christmas.
🙏🏼🕊
Thank you so much, Dr. C for talking about Complex-PTSD. I affect so many ares in our lives.
Merry Christmas & God bless you & your family, including Gus. Our loving mascot.🎄
Xmas, pretense at looking good, getting gifts I don't want whilst being invalidated and emotionally baited and being ill(chronic illnesses) way more than normal and feeling hellish. If I see one more dressing gown from my mother I might scream! Every year for years now. We don't have the same taste and I would have loved some books or dvds or a small furry but no all of that is the usual dressing gown! With side helpings of feeling terrible. Now I'm really ill and trying not to be upset at not being seen. Just to be seen, heard and have normal conversation with some compassion and validation would have been nice. Nope! Takes me right back to childhood and feeling confused at all the lovely things but things feeling disconnected and uncomfortable and confusing.
Thank you, Dr Carter. This helps. I appreciate you so much! You have a package coming your way soon. Just a few thank you gifts and happy new year gifts from the store
You're the best, KellyJean. Hope this video resonated with you. You know I'm pulling for you as you continue figuring it all out!! Happy holidays!
Thank you for this. Really needed it today.
You are so welcome!
Thank you Dr. Carter for your encouragement. I've been dealing with manipulations lies and put downs by my husband for years. Family of origin was worse. I'm still getting better! ❤ 🙏 🎉
Learning a lot of stress relief techniques helps recover such as breathing exercises, self massage, an Qi Kung for stress relief can help in recovery because abuse causes all kinds of tensions in the body that don't just go away.
Thank you so much Dr. C, you have no idea of how much I needed to hear this today! Thank you, and Merry Christmas 🤗🎄
All of the above, everything that you've said I have gone through, I don't even feel like I know myself anymore.
Especially the person I married
This is a great narrative of what it feels like. The internal conversation. Just amazing. Thank you. I'm better than I was but I'm working on truly moving forward. And it's complicated. Yes, the lost relationships are so difficult. Thank you.
Having thought I’d recovered from my narcissistic abuse PTSD initiated six year ago, I was hit with a wave of depression and PTSD feelings during the pre-Christmas build-up. Is it normal for PTSD to rear up again after a period of normalcy? I felt like I was right back there in the middle of it. Your phrase of ‘negative uniqueness’ perfectly described how I felt looking at never ending idealistic images of family Christmas time plus the narcissist is still part of my social circle. Such perfect timing for me to hear this post.
Dr C you are such an empathetic person, I feel blessed to have found your YT channel and you ❤
Thank you, Alexa.
You have described by experience to a T. It helps so so much to know what I am dealing with.
Merry Christmas to everyone from Beaverton Oregon!
You've changed my life!!! Thank you, Dr. Les!
I got Protection order. Feel a bit more energy. After 2 yrs. But thought why am I so tired exhausted trying to get things done. Am older over age 60 thought it's my age but this makes sense thank you so much for this info.
Thank you for all your insight over this past year and beyond. You've helped me so much ❤
Thank you once again for another good one Dr Carter❣️
You are very welcome
Merry Christmas, Dr. C! This video is 100% on the mark for my experience. It's been 9 years since my last nightmare, the worst of them this far, and I don't know that I will ever trust a man again. Yep I know therapy would be required!
I have been having flashbacks of things the narcissist did to me years ago. I wish they would stop, but I think that I need to work through them to fully heal.
Thank you for all the video’s you made on the damaging effects of narcissism. I lost track of the amount of video’s I watched. I watch them all.
To the people who could wonder what drives you to make so many video’s, I’d say look at your facial and vocal expressions at 10:30. It says it all ❤
Thank you for giving us hope! Sometimes is so hard to trust and make plans again.
Thank you Dr. C., Team Healthy and Gus❤
Very difficult to explain to people and it was only these videos that kept me right and trust what was happening
Hi Dr C! This is a timely video for me. Thank you 😊 I'm going to show it to my sons so they can truly understand what's happening in my life. You have given me the courage to move forward. I'm so very grateful for all that you do for Team Healthy! What would we do without you!?!? ❤ Wishing you and your family, Gus and Team Healthy a very Merry and Peaceful Christmas 🎄 ❤🎄 God bless!
That warms my heart. I wish you a merry and meaningful Christmas.
Human Nature: Wanting to Defend Our Innocence
This will only leave you defeated and feeling like Crap
SILENCE is Your Victory
Thank you! I needed to hear this today
Glad it was helpful!