Times are changing. Yesterday I treated myself to a day in a welness resort. I found during diner that there were 5 other men dining in the restaurant without a wife. We're part of a growing group of men who found that living a single life is much more fulfiling than having to deal with all the troubles that women introduce. Our lifestyle may be the norm in 10 years time.
That’s great! I think a lot of people, men and women will be single in the future and doing things alone. I think a lot of people are happier on their own.😊
I'm single, living in the Dominican Republic, with a roster of 50, but I have charisma and I'm not corpulent or unattractive. There are many ways of single living.
I’m 54 and my worldview on relationships with females is so different than my younger years. I don’t miss the “ companionship “ or any of that cause u see that there was no bond. It was all about her the entire time. The only thing I miss is sex. That’s it. I don’t miss living with a woman at all. It’s incredibly stressful living with a woman. Sex is the first thing that goes out the window. It always descends straight into hell.
No! You need therapy! Now go wash the dishes. And make sure you take out the trash. Why did you leave the toilet seat up? I’ve told you countless times! Why don’t you shave. By the way I’ve made plans for us this weekend. How come you never make time for us? Stop trying to control me.
As an old divorced boomer, I have chosen to stay single until the end. It's easy for men in today's world. Unless you are in the top 5 percent of good-looking guys, you remain invisible to women. As a ghost, you just float over the minefield instead of having to walk through it.
There are other countries where they (women) will value you more than the US but there are other problems associated with that also Just be happy within and stay away from that desperateness that a lot of older men feel after a divorce, coming from a older boomer like you
I am 50 years old and just completed my divorce. This video is golden. Also, reviewing the comments, I am noticing how my experiences were very similar to many people. John: please keep your videos going. You are awesome!
Dear John, this is the best video you have done hands-down! I have been living this lifestyle now for the last six years. Every day is a challenge….. but every day is always challenge. Now I don’t have a woman in my ear telling me that I am never meeting her expectations. she made me feel like I was unlovable and that it was my fault for everything that is wrong with the relationship. I fought tooth and nail to keep something that never really honored or respected me and my sovereignty. I stood my ground and moved into my masculine power. Shrug my shoulders and walked away. It’s one of my greatest accomplishments. And the most rewarding thank you John, you are a hero in our community.
Diet plays a huge role in keeping inner peace. Eating fast food will not put you in that mental space of peace. I recommend vegetables and unprocessed foods. Raw cooked meats and stay away from fried anything. Learn how to cook your own meals and take pride in learning how to cook and season your own meals. I love cooking and eating my own food.
Good stuff. I am a desert guy. I live on the border of Death Valley from where I live there is 100 miles of nothing to the east of me. I spend a lot of time exploring old mines, prospecting for gold and enjoying the big desert sky, it is amazing.
I’m single by default. Cancer took my wonderful wife early this year. Definitely a shock to my world being forced to being single since we met in the 9th grade. I haven’t felt this much pressure about the future since I left hime at 17 to start my life with this girl. We had our retirement planned and were going to retire early at 55 and enjoy some peace together and travel a little but just take the time to enjoy each other. During her final few months she realized i was going to be alone and it really bothered her. She insisted that I remarry and find a good woman-she even had a woman in mind and insisted that I look her up. Turns out she was already in a new relationship. As much as the loneliness sucks I have no desire to start dating especially this late in the game in my early 50’s due to the crappy available choices.
I am really sorry that you lost your wife, you were lucky to meet her early and that it worked out, and maybe in future you will meet someone, but I think she would want you to go ahead and do some travel. Just getting away and interacting with people and new experiences gets you out of yourself. The planning of travel is as enjoyable as taking the trip. So consider maybe a trip late in the Spring, and booking and planning it now. I would recommend that you watch some of the youtube videos of Gabriel Traveler, especially of Greece and the Greek Islands. You never know who you might meet, but for sure you will meet and know more of yourself, and your wife will be along in spirit.
@ Thanks RG. I may take a Trip to Ireland with my Daughter and her Husband. They are frequent travelers and will be really fun to hang out with. Eventually I’d like to visit some of the Balkan states as my family origins are from there.
A word of caution. The dating pool is a cesspool now. The woman you shared your life with was rare 30 years ago. They almost don't exist now. If they do exist they are in marriages already. The western dating scene is a disaster as tinder and other instant gratification apps have destroyed any morality left in people. You mentioned that you helped children with your wife, it says a lot about you and her. The best way you can honor your wife is remaining and protecting who you are. I really caution against rushing to find another like her.
This discussion has to be heard, probably on repeat, because God knows I'll forget over the next few weeks and have to re-watch it. Bravo sir. 37 year old almost divorced the house, kids, stuff gone. Rediscovering who I am, my values, and my faith intact.
I had an uncle that was single all his life and a cousin who is 60 and never married. They seem to be happy. My oldest son doesn’t want kids or to get married. I told him do whatever makes you happy. It’s your life.😊
It’s good for a man to have a plan. It’s okay to alter the plan, but not impulsively. One advantage a man has is being better able to put emotion aside.
John, you’re doing a huge service to humanity with these videos. Your spitting gems of wisdom and life experience bombs. Very few express the unvarnished truth underlying most male/female relationships. Bless you. Be well!
My life is a good example of the messages in this video. I was single until age 52, scuba diver, private pilot, marathon runner, super educated... I thought that I had everything except companionship and I wanted to care for someone. Married for 5 years and she left for someone with way more status. Single again, and I can say that I have lived the life described in the video and it wasn't supported by society. I do miss caring for a woman, however, that life has lots of complications so I have become extremely contented with who I am and I'm not missing much by remaining single.
59 yr old forever bachelor here. My journey has always been about living a interesting life. I enjoy women but never take them serious. Every man must read The Predatory Female by Rev Lawrence Shannon. Keep kicking ass fellas!! Timmy C Arizona
Its odd.... at 44 she left me after 12 years because "Im not happy". On a practical note... now I can retire before 60, not rich... just way less expenses to the point that it will hopefully add up to "comfortable". Imagine a woman settling for "comfortable"??
I so wish I'd had that kind of advice when I was young. I realize that having grown up in a time when the Internet didn't exist, the absence of a mentor was a determining factor in my having to discover everything on my own, and discovering it the hard way. Young people today don't realize the immense value they have via the internet. It saves an incredible amount of time, and these days you can grow up extremely fast and well!
🙂 it will only help some, you be surprised back then and even now you got people with their heads in the sand, some people are hopeless, just look at Politics? or comparing thoughts on science or medicine or religion? and now this on top of that? forget about it 😅
Hi John, This was another great video thank you! Today, I’m watching you from Port Antonio, Jamaica. I’m a single man, aged 58, discovering the island on my own terms. You know that if I were on holiday with a woman, I would be listening to her complaining on every level. This is a great age to fly to another country and live exactly how are you want without compromising just to get peace and quiet. I’m staying with a lovely Jamaican family that have been so welcoming and friendly. If I was with a woman, she would want to stay in a nice hotel instead of getting the full Jamaican experience with real Jamaicans. Have a great day! 😊
I stay single because I'm tired of losing. Losing a wife. Losing time with my kids. Losing money. Time to win. Win more time with my kids. Win more money. Win my peace back.
38 years old and single, loving your content. I have felt all this naturally but was feeling the expectations of finding someone to be considered “complete”.
I was with my ex wife from 2001- 2022… these last 2 1/2 of divorce have been the most peaceful years of my life. It’s amazing- for decades I would be asked what I wanted for my birthday or Christmas….. I would look up and say “Peace and Quiet” and everyone would laugh, I giggle every morning I wake up without all the trauma and drama next to me. Peace and Quiet Brothers - that what we strive for. Cheers
You touched on some great points!! There is a peace and reward that comes from being in control of one's own life. I lived a self destructive lifestyle for many years and got in relationships for the wrong reasons, now in my 50's I've developed a solid relationship with self, throughout my journey of self reliance I've become very comfortable in my own skin! I love the single life, I thrive on it!!!
I went through a breakup abput 15 years ago....a buddy of mind was gping through same thing at the same time - we'd both been simps. I saw the way they dealt with it - they kept simping and kept emotio ally investimg into the situation. I saw myself in them and I did not like what I saw. It was pathetic. I decided right then and there that I would go on the Drama Free Diet. I started reading, cleaning up my act and focusing on ME. 15 years later, still drama free, going on 50 still looking like 30, my PEACE is my most valuable possession. I share a home with a sibling, amytime someone comes over they comment on how our hpme feels like "a sanctuary". It is: it's quiet, filled with plants, there are no arguments, we eat well. I LOVE it this way. Drama has NO PLACE on my life.
I'm an atheist and former Evangelical Christian. I have gained so much peace of mind by letting go of beliefs (and a culture) that filled me with so much grief, guilt, and anxiety. I don't look outward for meaning anymore, I give my life the meaning I want it to have, nothing else and nobody else prescribes it to me. I am still agnostic on the position of God/s, deities, or an afterlife, but why hang my hat on a mere concept that hasn't been proven? I once had a religion/philosophy professor tell me, "spirituality is self-actualization, religion is societal order." I am a self-actualized person, growing every day, this is my spirituality. Religions and faiths aren't true by virtue of believing them, so I choose to accept that the Great Beyond is a mystery, or perhaps it's actually not a mystery at all and our fate is quite simple. We make death this mystical thing, but it's just as natural as anything else. When I die, I have no reason to believe that my fate isn't like that of any other biological organism on this planet that came before me. Why should my place in the Cosmos be so special? So, all this is to say, I don't think religion has to be (and probably shouldn't be) our basis for purpose and meaning. I find that religion is oftentimes a perversion of human purpose. I know many people find purpose and meaning through religion, but I am proof that you can find it without religion or believing in a god of some kind. There's a misconception, and a stereotype really, that atheists are these hopeless people that believe in nothing and lack conviction. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are not a monolith. We believe in lots of things and oftentimes our convictions are more powerful than those who are religious, because we recognize that this life on earth is probably, in reality, our only shot. We don't want to squander this short existence by getting complacent through a faith, hoping that something better awaits us in an afterlife, and becoming lazy with our lives. I find religious people treat this life as a trial period, and believe that once it's over they graduate to the next, so they don't bother living life to its fullest (or at least try to). My mother is this way (Evangelical Christian) and she's the unhappiest person I know- she doesn't know her purpose, her life lacks meaning, she's always complaining, and she is just waiting for God to take her. She's more concerned of non-believers going to Hell than doing something to escape the Hell she creates for herself. It's quite sad really.
I think peoples personal experience turn them off certain things. I can understand some religious can force a fake life and some abuse people. But for my circumstance it was being raised in atheism caused all my problems because since they dont believe in sin, they are so toxic and think theyve done nothing wrong. So late in life i accepted Christianity but then it was obvious many Churches doesn't know what theyre talking about. Then I decided it is just a choice to follow it, not because of evidence, but because the lifestyle has something to offer. The Bible is like a leadership guide for me since I never received any advice growing up. But the conflict is that it requires belief, so I decided whether im convinced or not I have always talked to God daily when Im alone, so in that respect iv certainly always acted like I have a genuine strong belief because its done in secret.
Oh, my brother in disbelief. I could sign under every sentence you have written. I am ex catholic and I feel very much the same. Even your mother's description fits my own.
Oh how I'd love to have some of my born again family members (cousins) read your comment. The only negative is that they're so dogmatic and brainwashed they probably wouldn't understand it.
I'm 76. My wonderful wife of 20 years recently died. Loving, loyal, honest, I can't imagine hitting that lottery again. This video came at just the right time. Thanks!
Enjoy your musings. Divorced yrs ago after 7 yrs. No kids. Getting your life in order and finding meaning takes some time and thought. I have peace of mind with the path I have chosen. Have a routine including regular exercise. Have my hobbies/activities and my dogs. For me, it's a matter of contentment rather than constant happiness. I enjoy some female companionship mostly for the sxx. But wmn, as you have said are an option, an add-on, to my life. The thirst is strong. But I have it in it's proper place. Channels like yours are important for young men, trying to figure out their way. Well done. 🤔🙂
I recall so vividly, the many times I tried to morph myself into the shape of the expectations of a demanding feemail brother John. No longer. I now run my simple, single man-life like the well-oiled machine that it has become. 👊💪
One of the greatest things about a divorce is that it presents a MASSIVE opportunity to discover who you are as a man as per John's message here. Getting back to the self that you most likely lost in marriage is like a rebirth.
Hey man I find you being very informative and generous with your thoughts. You are helping lots of men out there.I have being single healing myself for a while and its so nice to hear you almost like repeating my own thought process in all of it. Your approach and philosophy should be taught at schools before men decide to get married cause marriage is not for all. GREAT JOB!!
I stop trying to date 19 monts ago. I've almost paid of all debt (apart my mortage).... I't's so peacefull. I love my routines. I'm the most boring person in the world but I really like it that way. I go running , work on my motorcycle projet, play some guitar and do puzzles and check my tomatoes in my garden😂
Excellent video, John! Abraham Lincoln said something to this effect "I do believe a man is responsible a great deal for his own happiness". Wiser words were never spoken.
19:01 I feel a man’s LOCATION (and eventually finding God, Jesus, Holy Spirit) is the most important choice. One day in 1983, in the span of a car drive from Albany NY to Massachusetts my environment changed from a group home in the city for troubled youth to an Ivy League College - I went from the lowest level of society for a person my age to the highest. Likewise in 1989 I took my life savings of $1200 and my 1983 Tercel with busted CV joint and drove from cold, dreary Boston Mass to sunny Southern California where I have lived since. I have survived and p prospered through good and bad times here because of the year round cheerful weather ever since. Young men, Find your ENVIRONMENT before you set up for adulthood. You may have to take some risks to find it
John - This is your best work. I have been listening to this video now for 2 hours whilst I am walking in Phuket. Thank you. Well done. 100% True after 29 years of a marriage.
I am 27, been single for the last 3 months and i have actually loved it. As long as you have a few good friends, you have more time and money to do fun things and it is actually quite freeing! Not having to spend on holidays and expensive date nights
The women latch on to you and I get the feeling they think you should feel honoured to have your time, energy, and resources plundered. Who would voluntarily want a tapeworm or liver flukes?
Correct, that's how it's been in the UK for decades. Women only date men they think they can control, use, and emasculate, and who will be the Queen's free servant and court jester. You'll get a few breadcrumbs in return, while she looks around for other male interest as you slave away for her.
A younger female relative told me a few years ago to keep silent about my property, what sort of house it is, anything else involving finances because she knows the vast majority who look to date are gold diggers (her words).
I have always maintained that primary school children elementary grade should be taught about marriage and also about people who prefer to be single, that these people are perfectly happy and that’s it’s a totally valid and fulfilling way of existing and achieving your goals in life. We need to introduce this option as being respectable and completely normal for people to live out their lives. In fact so many great scientists and composers from the past were hermits. They attained such joy through their work and great notoriety which undoubtedly was intensified by solitude and focus brought about by the lack of distraction which a family life can rarely offer at the best of times. Great topics as always John! 👍🤩
I’m amazed how smart is this guy. Thank you for sharing this knowledge. I’ve been down the similar path where woman that claimed to love me literally tried to kill me. I finally dumped her, did my homework and now I’m with a great woman having a great relationship! I wish all of you an ability to identify the predators and the ability to get rid of them. Don’t worry you will be single for a while. Just go out, have a good time with yourselves and it will attract the proper woman!
Something that helped me after the breakup was joining a men's support group. Being able to sit down with other guys who can relate really helped me work through the whole upset. Plus, I made some friends there.
You can get over the awkwardness relatively quickly. At least, I did. The next stage is a feeling of empowerment. Stay single and keep growing as a man.
Hi my name is Charles, and I do really appreciate all of your video especially this one, your are saying to stay committed to staying single and healthy...it just feel so good it feel like a heavy load as being released...from my body.... Thank you !!!!
You're absolutely right about safeguarding your peace of mind. Together with healthy eating and exercise outdoors, peace of mind should be your ultimate goal.
Another video that I truly enjoyed watching - thanks! I am a former devout born-again Christian who gradually turned atheist over a 20 year period based on close examination of the evidence that was available to me. This was a journey that involved over 10,000 hours of rigorous study and contemplation. What we gain as atheists is the belief that this is (most likely) our one and only opportunity to live, love, learn and grow. I'm spiritual in the sense that we are all part of the same grand and wonderful universe and we will all eventually be absorbed back into it. I can reach out with tremendous love to all around, regardless of their beliefs, their practices, what they do in their bedrooms, etc., knowing that this is the one chance for us all to be kind and generous toward one another. Life is much more precious to me now because there are no do-overs and no consciousness that exists beyond death. As a critical-thinking skeptic (and stoic) I also am constantly aware that some things I believe today will turn out to be wrong. So in that sense I always look out for strong evidence that supports the existence of a god and/or an afterlife. We don't choose to be atheists, we are either convinced or unconvinced that a god exists.
Another great video, John. Thank you! I have been following your channel for a while and have really come to appreciate the level headed attitude with which you dispense some harsh truths. The lack of emotion compared to a lot of other content creators in the space has an almost stoic quality to it which I think makes me appreciate the message a lot more. Cheers!
The biggest lesson I took from reading Nietzsche was this: take a vow of non-indignation - it's hard to keep it all the time, but if you can keep it, it's the best defense against all the noise and drama that we have to deal with.
Wow! I have never heard my viewpoint said so clearly and right on the money by another. It makes me feel positive that this world is going to be ok, because of men like you John. You are a wise man!
As always great content my friend, I would just like to add that the men that truly choose to be single and understand what it is to be single by choice went through a long marriage and were hurt 😞 in one way or another and ended up divorcing. These men have a deep understanding of this concept and your content resonates with us. However a young man who has not been through anything probably does not value being single and thinks it’s the end of the world. Thank you for making these videos sir. I am blessed to have come across your content.
It's good to see this content, especially for younger men. Listening to the education system, media, government, and women will get you in trouble. Us old guys experienced this and understand now, hope young men can learn earlier.
By our age, people have narrowed their circle of friends to a small number and arent receptive to adding new people. And common experiences bond people together. Its not easy to find commonality when meeting new people. However, if you find yourself isolated in your marriage, being single really isnt much different.
Great video thank you. 64 now got married at 21. Still married but not going too well the last 10 years. She's running the agenda, lots of tension and rowing going on. I've been pathetic for so long now it's hard to know where to start.
If you’re not happy, leave. I’m 64 married 35 years. It just becomes a habit. Ultimately, I couldn’t see anything that I was getting out of the relationship.
This is the recipe. I thank you for putting in words the formula, all of it is true. We men don’t need a woman to make us complete; they’re add ons, nothing more than that. Just build yourself in all aspects, and if you fell like having a great car, adding a watch to your wrist or a woman to your arm do it, without forgetting the watch and the car don’t change their minds daily about how they feel being next to you.
"It is better to be alone than to WISH you were alone." If you are single then you allocate all your resources (time, money, energy) how YOU want, meaning that if friends want to go hiking and you don't, then you don't go. When you partner up, you automatically lose half your resources (1 / 1 = 1, 1 / 2 + .5). Simple math...
People aren't atheists because there is some specific benefit to it. They simply do not believe that there is anything after death and can't convince themselves otherwise, even if they would benefit from being spiritual in some way. For many it is hard to have faith in something that has no empirical evidence to support it.
Totally agree. I am an atheist not to gain some benefits, but rather to stay honest toward myself. I just can't believe and that's it. It's the same thing as I stay away from stealing from others, not because it's beneficial. It is just the right thing to do.
Look how complicated your body is. Take apart a pocket watch and put all the pieces in a box. How long do you think you will have to shake the box before the watch assembles itself?
John,I agree that spirituality, in my case a belief in God, means that we are not alone, we have a higher power to converse with, as a sounding board of something more wise than us, and as a comfort for losses. With spirituality we do not travel this path alone.
I wish I could have leaned on the ex-wife a few times when I had to worked double shifts and then return home to take care of our kids. She flatly refused to help me. She was dumbfounded when she decided to leave us and I helped her packed her stuff.
I have always maintained that primary school children elementary grade should be taught about marriage and also about people who prefer to be single, that these people are perfectly happy and that’s it’s a totally valid and fulfilling way of existing and achieving your goals in life. We need to introduce this option as being respectable and completely normal for people to live out their lives. In fact so many great scientists were hermits. They attained such joy through their work and great notoriety which undoubtedly was intensified by solitude and focus brought about by the lack of distraction which a family life can rarely offer at the best of times. Great topics as always John! 👍🤩
Perfect advice! Though it's hard when you're young, a bit lost in life and not sure what to do, what's important and what's not (if had no good role models). I wish I knew this way earlier in life! More young men should see such videos and advice. May save lives. And that peace of mind!!!! :D :D Love "Prioritize your peace of mind above all other things"!
Hey John, you responded to a comment i made in the past and I truly appreciate that. I am a 33 year old single father and your channel is very good. Developing character, integrity and masculine framework is extremely important in today's society. I would like to hear your thoughts on being "zeroed out" a term coined in the mens community. Divorce, death, job loss, health issues and more. I think your view would help young men as there is no avoiding hardship and adversity in this life, the extent of it varies though.
This was an excellent video, brother. Everyone listening to this video should have benefited in some way by acknowledging the advice you shared. Peace and spiritually are paramount in every man and woman's life..
I’d love to help you make another video about how becoming emotionally in control of yourself is the best thing for you and it’s hard to do but it’s possible for sure. Getting women is step 1
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"Prioritize your peace of mind above all other things"
This!!!!!
Peace of mind. #1 on the eternal optimist list.
Times are changing. Yesterday I treated myself to a day in a welness resort. I found during diner that there were 5 other men dining in the restaurant without a wife. We're part of a growing group of men who found that living a single life is much more fulfiling than having to deal with all the troubles that women introduce. Our lifestyle may be the norm in 10 years time.
That’s great! I think a lot of people, men and women will be single in the future and doing things alone. I think a lot of people are happier on their own.😊
True, you can be much more lonely in a relationship than when you're single.
I hope you didnt all just sit on your own. Did you get the crack at all? 🤔
I'm single, living in the Dominican Republic, with a roster of 50, but I have charisma and I'm not corpulent or unattractive. There are many ways of single living.
@@MenstralYou’re sleeping with 50 women?
I’m 54 and my worldview on relationships with females is so different than my younger years. I don’t miss the “ companionship “ or any of that cause u see that there was no bond. It was all about her the entire time. The only thing I miss is sex. That’s it. I don’t miss living with a woman at all. It’s incredibly stressful living with a woman. Sex is the first thing that goes out the window. It always descends straight into hell.
Much easier,and practical, to hire by the hour.
@@papj349 Yes. Get the sex outpatient not stationary! It's more enjoyable and cheaper.
Bro just use your hand ✋😊
😏 its nice to get that release but oh well you can have it all
@Scorned405 Greetings from Johannesburg, I'm the same age, have very similar thoughts on the topic. It's so liberating to be on your own. I love it.
Bravo! Married 27 yrs and now separated 7 months with a future divorce in the horizon. This channel is super helpful.
Glad to hear that
Welcome to freedom brother
Get a fun car and all the shit you denied yourself!
Get a motorcycle.
No! You need therapy! Now go wash the dishes. And make sure you take out the trash. Why did you leave the toilet seat up? I’ve told you countless times! Why don’t you shave. By the way I’ve made plans for us this weekend. How come you never make time for us? Stop trying to control me.
As an old divorced boomer, I have chosen to stay single until the end. It's easy for men in today's world. Unless you are in the top 5 percent of good-looking guys, you remain invisible to women. As a ghost, you just float over the minefield instead of having to walk through it.
Amen brother. Keep on truckin. 👍
@@MrBBaron excellent comment 👍
I'm sill with same woman, I still like her and we've been married for most of it.
There are other countries where they (women) will value you more than the US but there are other problems associated with that also Just be happy within and stay away from that desperateness that a lot of older men feel after a divorce, coming from a older boomer like you
Nice minefield metaphor.
I'm 52 married for 9 years and divorced 19 years ago.
I got a lot out of this video. Thank you.
I am 50 years old and just completed my divorce. This video is golden.
Also, reviewing the comments, I am noticing how my experiences were very similar to many people.
John: please keep your videos going. You are awesome!
Congratulations. Better late that never.
Set your boundaries. Avoid all drama with discipline. Protect your peace of mind/mental health and your resources.
Sounds stoic
Sounds smart.
@@jimphiripes802 Spot on Jim
Wow…1000% on point!
Dear John, this is the best video you have done hands-down! I have been living this lifestyle now for the last six years. Every day is a challenge….. but every day is always challenge. Now I don’t have a woman in my ear telling me that I am never meeting her expectations. she made me feel like I was unlovable and that it was my fault for everything that is wrong with the relationship. I fought tooth and nail to keep something that never really honored or respected me and my sovereignty. I stood my ground and moved into my masculine power. Shrug my shoulders and walked away. It’s one of my greatest accomplishments. And the most rewarding thank you John, you are a hero in our community.
Diet plays a huge role in keeping inner peace. Eating fast food will not put you in that mental space of peace. I recommend vegetables and unprocessed foods. Raw cooked meats and stay away from fried anything. Learn how to cook your own meals and take pride in learning how to cook and season your own meals. I love cooking and eating my own food.
Amen brother
Hallelujah Brother, amen. and I'm agnostic. 😅
one of the greatest pleasures in life as far as I'm concerned.
Culinary Freedom is a wonderful thing. I never liked my ex wife’s fat saturated cooking.
@halfunkbass2966 Agreed, make cooking and cleaning a meditation.
Ironically, the more you get your self-actualized independent act together, the more attractive you become to women.
Good stuff. I am a desert guy. I live on the border of Death Valley from where I live there is 100 miles of nothing to the east of me. I spend a lot of time exploring old mines, prospecting for gold and enjoying the big desert sky, it is amazing.
Sounds Awesome man
Just don’t get lost in the desert
@@tonyp.bahama9368 It is, I am very fortunate......
Sounds like heaven.
Bloody amazing life. I am from UK how easy to move over 🤔
I’m single by default.
Cancer took my wonderful wife early this year.
Definitely a shock to my world being forced to being single since we met in the 9th grade.
I haven’t felt this much pressure about the future since I left hime at 17 to start my life with this girl.
We had our retirement planned and were going to retire early at 55 and enjoy some peace together and travel a little but just take the time to enjoy each other.
During her final few months she realized i was going to be alone and it really bothered her.
She insisted that I remarry and find a good woman-she even had a woman in mind and insisted that I look her up.
Turns out she was already in a new relationship.
As much as the loneliness sucks I have no desire to start dating especially this late in the game in my early 50’s due to the crappy available choices.
I am really sorry that you lost your wife, you were lucky to meet her early and that it worked out, and maybe in future you will meet someone, but I think she would want you to go ahead and do some travel. Just getting away and interacting with people and new experiences gets you out of yourself. The planning of travel is as enjoyable as taking the trip. So consider maybe a trip late in the Spring, and booking and planning it now. I would recommend that you watch some of the youtube videos of Gabriel Traveler, especially of Greece and the Greek Islands. You never know who you might meet, but for sure you will meet and know more of yourself, and your wife will be along in spirit.
@
Thanks RG.
I may take a Trip to Ireland with my Daughter and her Husband.
They are frequent travelers and will be really fun to hang out with.
Eventually I’d like to visit some of the Balkan states as my family origins are from there.
Sounds like you were really lucky to have had the experience you did. Sorry for your loss...
@@Goldtoysrock
Thank you.
Yeah -we were workhorses that dedicated our lives to broken children.
If anyone deserves heaven it is that angel I lost.
A word of caution. The dating pool is a cesspool now. The woman you shared your life with was rare 30 years ago. They almost don't exist now. If they do exist they are in marriages already. The western dating scene is a disaster as tinder and other instant gratification apps have destroyed any morality left in people. You mentioned that you helped children with your wife, it says a lot about you and her. The best way you can honor your wife is remaining and protecting who you are. I really caution against rushing to find another like her.
This discussion has to be heard, probably on repeat, because God knows I'll forget over the next few weeks and have to re-watch it. Bravo sir. 37 year old almost divorced the house, kids, stuff gone. Rediscovering who I am, my values, and my faith intact.
I had an uncle that was single all his life and a cousin who is 60 and never married. They seem to be happy. My oldest son doesn’t want kids or to get married. I told him do whatever makes you happy. It’s your life.😊
It’s good for a man to have a plan. It’s okay to alter the plan, but not impulsively. One advantage a man has is being better able to put emotion aside.
Thanks!
John, you’re doing a huge service to humanity with these videos.
Your spitting gems of wisdom and life experience bombs.
Very few express the unvarnished truth underlying most male/female relationships.
Bless you. Be well!
Thanks!
When I look back every girl was like a crazy sports car.
The crazy psycho ones f@ck the best. They also have the most issues and drama.
Just turned 25. This is beautiful
Man, you are so lucky to have this info at 25
I gave up around your age too and I’m 27.. I don’t wanna waste time getting to know someone again
My life is a good example of the messages in this video. I was single until age 52, scuba diver, private pilot, marathon runner, super educated...
I thought that I had everything except companionship and I wanted to care for someone. Married for 5 years and she left for someone with way more status.
Single again, and I can say that I have lived the life described in the video and it wasn't supported by society. I do miss caring for a woman, however, that life has lots of complications so I have become extremely contented with who I am and I'm not missing much by remaining single.
That was the pronlem - caring for her
1. No marriage
2. No ltr
3. No cohabitation
4. Risky but preferably no offspring
5. Avoid any interactions at work apart from the work related ones
But most of the time the men are grumpy and the women cheer them up.
@ because for them men are the gateway to the gain power ie man's seed or signing marriage and our birth certificate etc
@@jeansollot6419 lol. Can be. My ex brought the fun for sure.
6. No dogs
@@TheKingTywinLannister why no dogs?
59 yr old forever bachelor here. My journey has always been about living a interesting life. I enjoy women but never take them serious. Every man must read The Predatory Female by Rev Lawrence Shannon. Keep kicking ass fellas!! Timmy C Arizona
Thinks Timmy C!
And "Self-made man" by Norah Vincent
I choose to be single because it’s the only way to achieve an enduring sense of winning. All other choices lead to L’s
The men who make sensual pleasures their priority suffer a lot
The men who make spiritual development their priority are fine
Most men have a sex drive. The modern woman/wife knows this and will manipulate and emasculate her husband for power and control over him.
Exactly 💯
Its odd.... at 44 she left me after 12 years because "Im not happy".
On a practical note... now I can retire before 60, not rich... just way less expenses to the point that it will hopefully add up to "comfortable".
Imagine a woman settling for "comfortable"??
We all know older women (old grandma age ha ha) that can be happy "simply" being comfortable. are loyal, etc. What happened to those women??
She might try to come back. Don’t do it.
I so wish I'd had that kind of advice when I was young. I realize that having grown up in a time when the Internet didn't exist, the absence of a mentor was a determining factor in my having to discover everything on my own, and discovering it the hard way. Young people today don't realize the immense value they have via the internet. It saves an incredible amount of time, and these days you can grow up extremely fast and well!
🙂 it will only help some, you be surprised back then and even now you got people with their heads in the sand, some people are hopeless, just look at Politics? or comparing thoughts on science or medicine or religion? and now this on top of that? forget about it 😅
Hi John, This was another great video thank you! Today, I’m watching you from Port Antonio, Jamaica. I’m a single man, aged 58, discovering the island on my own terms. You know that if I were on holiday with a woman, I would be listening to her complaining on every level. This is a great age to fly to another country and live exactly how are you want without compromising just to get peace and quiet. I’m staying with a lovely Jamaican family that have been so welcoming and friendly. If I was with a woman, she would want to stay in a nice hotel instead of getting the full Jamaican experience with real Jamaicans. Have a great day! 😊
I stay single because I'm tired of losing. Losing a wife. Losing time with my kids. Losing money. Time to win. Win more time with my kids. Win more money. Win my peace back.
I feel exactly the same
John never misses!
Thanks
I am authentically myself. Take it or leave. Proud to be a real man
Great life lessons as a 59 year old male I totally concur here , listen up younger men
Thanks
38 years old and single, loving your content. I have felt all this naturally but was feeling the expectations of finding someone to be considered “complete”.
I was with my ex wife from 2001- 2022… these last 2 1/2 of divorce have been the most peaceful years of my life.
It’s amazing- for decades I would be asked what I wanted for my birthday or Christmas….. I would look up and say “Peace and Quiet” and everyone would laugh, I giggle every morning I wake up without all the trauma and drama next to me.
Peace and Quiet Brothers - that what we strive for. Cheers
You touched on some great points!! There is a peace and reward that comes from being in control of one's own life. I lived a self destructive lifestyle for many years and got in relationships for the wrong reasons, now in my 50's I've developed a solid relationship with self, throughout my journey of self reliance I've become very comfortable in my own skin! I love the single life, I thrive on it!!!
I went through a breakup abput 15 years ago....a buddy of mind was gping through same thing at the same time - we'd both been simps. I saw the way they dealt with it - they kept simping and kept emotio ally investimg into the situation. I saw myself in them and I did not like what I saw. It was pathetic. I decided right then and there that I would go on the Drama Free Diet. I started reading, cleaning up my act and focusing on ME. 15 years later, still drama free, going on 50 still looking like 30, my PEACE is my most valuable possession. I share a home with a sibling, amytime someone comes over they comment on how our hpme feels like "a sanctuary". It is: it's quiet, filled with plants, there are no arguments, we eat well. I LOVE it this way. Drama has NO PLACE on my life.
I'm an atheist and former Evangelical Christian. I have gained so much peace of mind by letting go of beliefs (and a culture) that filled me with so much grief, guilt, and anxiety. I don't look outward for meaning anymore, I give my life the meaning I want it to have, nothing else and nobody else prescribes it to me. I am still agnostic on the position of God/s, deities, or an afterlife, but why hang my hat on a mere concept that hasn't been proven? I once had a religion/philosophy professor tell me, "spirituality is self-actualization, religion is societal order." I am a self-actualized person, growing every day, this is my spirituality. Religions and faiths aren't true by virtue of believing them, so I choose to accept that the Great Beyond is a mystery, or perhaps it's actually not a mystery at all and our fate is quite simple. We make death this mystical thing, but it's just as natural as anything else. When I die, I have no reason to believe that my fate isn't like that of any other biological organism on this planet that came before me. Why should my place in the Cosmos be so special? So, all this is to say, I don't think religion has to be (and probably shouldn't be) our basis for purpose and meaning. I find that religion is oftentimes a perversion of human purpose. I know many people find purpose and meaning through religion, but I am proof that you can find it without religion or believing in a god of some kind.
There's a misconception, and a stereotype really, that atheists are these hopeless people that believe in nothing and lack conviction. Nothing could be further from the truth. We are not a monolith. We believe in lots of things and oftentimes our convictions are more powerful than those who are religious, because we recognize that this life on earth is probably, in reality, our only shot. We don't want to squander this short existence by getting complacent through a faith, hoping that something better awaits us in an afterlife, and becoming lazy with our lives. I find religious people treat this life as a trial period, and believe that once it's over they graduate to the next, so they don't bother living life to its fullest (or at least try to). My mother is this way (Evangelical Christian) and she's the unhappiest person I know- she doesn't know her purpose, her life lacks meaning, she's always complaining, and she is just waiting for God to take her. She's more concerned of non-believers going to Hell than doing something to escape the Hell she creates for herself. It's quite sad really.
I think peoples personal experience turn them off certain things. I can understand some religious can force a fake life and some abuse people. But for my circumstance it was being raised in atheism caused all my problems because since they dont believe in sin, they are so toxic and think theyve done nothing wrong. So late in life i accepted Christianity but then it was obvious many Churches doesn't know what theyre talking about. Then I decided it is just a choice to follow it, not because of evidence, but because the lifestyle has something to offer. The Bible is like a leadership guide for me since I never received any advice growing up. But the conflict is that it requires belief, so I decided whether im convinced or not I have always talked to God daily when Im alone, so in that respect iv certainly always acted like I have a genuine strong belief because its done in secret.
Oh, my brother in disbelief. I could sign under every sentence you have written. I am ex catholic and I feel very much the same. Even your mother's description fits my own.
Oh how I'd love to have some of my born again family members (cousins) read your comment. The only negative is that they're so dogmatic and brainwashed they probably wouldn't understand it.
You guys have cut the anchor of religiousity from around your necks. Peace to you, brothers.
I'm 76. My wonderful wife of 20 years recently died. Loving, loyal, honest, I can't imagine hitting that lottery again. This video came at just the right time. Thanks!
Enjoy your musings. Divorced yrs ago after 7 yrs. No kids. Getting your life in order and finding meaning takes some time and thought. I have peace of mind with the path I have chosen. Have a routine including regular exercise. Have my hobbies/activities and my dogs.
For me, it's a matter of contentment rather than constant happiness. I enjoy some female companionship mostly for the sxx. But wmn, as you have said are an option, an add-on, to my life. The thirst is strong. But I have it in it's proper place.
Channels like yours are important for young men, trying to figure out their way. Well done. 🤔🙂
I recall so vividly, the many times I tried to morph myself into the shape of the expectations of a demanding feemail brother John. No longer. I now run my simple, single man-life like the well-oiled machine that it has become. 👊💪
Well said!
@ - Thank you good sir.
24:45 love your honesty sir... Terrence Popp calls this "the thousand yard stare"
Correct~! Know your worth. Protect your peace.
One of the greatest things about a divorce is that it presents a MASSIVE opportunity to discover who you are as a man as per John's message here. Getting back to the self that you most likely lost in marriage is like a rebirth.
You are a very wise man. Shalom
Thanks
Hey man I find you being very informative and generous with your thoughts. You are helping lots of men out there.I have being single healing myself for a while and its so nice to hear you almost like repeating my own thought process in all of it. Your approach and philosophy should be taught at schools before men decide to get married cause marriage is not for all. GREAT JOB!!
I stop trying to date 19 monts ago. I've almost paid of all debt (apart my mortage).... I't's so peacefull. I love my routines. I'm the most boring person in the world but I really like it that way. I go running , work on my motorcycle projet, play some guitar and do puzzles and check my tomatoes in my garden😂
Not boring! Meditative, contemplative and perhaps enlightening, but not boring
sounds great.
Solitaire!
Excellent video, John! Abraham Lincoln said something to this effect "I do believe a man is responsible a great deal for his own happiness". Wiser words were never spoken.
Well said!
19:01 I feel a man’s LOCATION (and eventually finding God, Jesus, Holy Spirit) is the most important choice. One day in 1983, in the span of a car drive from Albany NY to Massachusetts my environment changed from a group home in the city for troubled youth to an Ivy League College - I went from the lowest level of society for a person my age to the highest. Likewise in 1989 I took my life savings of $1200 and my 1983 Tercel with busted CV joint and drove from cold, dreary Boston Mass to sunny Southern California where I have lived since. I have survived and p prospered through good and bad times here because of the year round cheerful weather ever since. Young men, Find your ENVIRONMENT before you set up for adulthood. You may have to take some risks to find it
- me to almost exactly. San Diego is my home for 40 years.
I was thrown out by treachery.
John - This is your best work. I have been listening to this video now for 2 hours whilst I am walking in Phuket. Thank you. Well done. 100% True after 29 years of a marriage.
Sounds like a great place to walk!
I am 27, been single for the last 3 months and i have actually loved it. As long as you have a few good friends, you have more time and money to do fun things and it is actually quite freeing! Not having to spend on holidays and expensive date nights
🙂 its my buddies turn to pay for our Thanksgiving + Xmas + New Years Eve meals
@@jeansollot6419 exactly makes no sense dude I don’t get it?
The older I get, the more I can relate. Spent years chasing woman and now I run away from trouble. Protect your peace. That's só true. Thank you
Peace of mind. Amen. 100% right. Fly above it all.
The women latch on to you and I get the feeling they think you should feel honoured to have your time, energy, and resources plundered. Who would voluntarily want a tapeworm or liver flukes?
I hope its not that bad for you, can always be both ways
Correct, that's how it's been in the UK for decades. Women only date men they think they can control, use, and emasculate, and who will be the Queen's free servant and court jester. You'll get a few breadcrumbs in return, while she looks around for other male interest as you slave away for her.
A younger female relative told me a few years ago to keep silent about my property, what sort of house it is, anything else involving finances because she knows the vast majority who look to date are gold diggers (her words).
I have always maintained that primary school children elementary grade should be taught about marriage and also about people who prefer to be single, that these people are perfectly happy and that’s it’s a totally valid and fulfilling way of existing and achieving your goals in life. We need to introduce this option as being respectable and completely normal for people to live out their lives. In fact so many great scientists and composers from the past were hermits. They attained such joy through their work and great notoriety which undoubtedly was intensified by solitude and focus brought about by the lack of distraction which a family life can rarely offer at the best of times. Great topics as always John! 👍🤩
I’m amazed how smart is this guy. Thank you for sharing this knowledge. I’ve been down the similar path where woman that claimed to love me literally tried to kill me. I finally dumped her, did my homework and now I’m with a great woman having a great relationship! I wish all of you an ability to identify the predators and the ability to get rid of them. Don’t worry you will be single for a while. Just go out, have a good time with yourselves and it will attract the proper woman!
Something that helped me after the breakup was joining a men's support group. Being able to sit down with other guys who can relate really helped me work through the whole upset. Plus, I made some friends there.
You can get over the awkwardness relatively quickly. At least, I did. The next stage is a feeling of empowerment. Stay single and keep growing as a man.
I am a woman, but I still love and resonate to this advice. It can be applied both ways.
All the red pill advice online and the most useful and straightforward is this
I'd say peace of mind includes things that engage your mind, like a hobby you really enjoy.
You're killing it John! Excellent video, agree with everything you said. No disagreement, no addition! Bravo..
Thanks
Hi my name is Charles, and I do really appreciate all of your video especially this one, your are saying to stay committed to staying single and healthy...it just feel so good it feel like a heavy load as being released...from my body.... Thank you !!!!
Just discovered your channel today. I wish I would have had someone to tell me things when I was 29 instead of 49 but here I am.
You're absolutely right about safeguarding your peace of mind. Together with healthy eating and exercise outdoors, peace of mind should be your ultimate goal.
Brilliant points, John. I wish a lot of us younger guys knew it right from the start.
But I guess, wisdom comes with age/experience.
Another video that I truly enjoyed watching - thanks! I am a former devout born-again Christian who gradually turned atheist over a 20 year period based on close examination of the evidence that was available to me. This was a journey that involved over 10,000 hours of rigorous study and contemplation. What we gain as atheists is the belief that this is (most likely) our one and only opportunity to live, love, learn and grow. I'm spiritual in the sense that we are all part of the same grand and wonderful universe and we will all eventually be absorbed back into it. I can reach out with tremendous love to all around, regardless of their beliefs, their practices, what they do in their bedrooms, etc., knowing that this is the one chance for us all to be kind and generous toward one another. Life is much more precious to me now because there are no do-overs and no consciousness that exists beyond death. As a critical-thinking skeptic (and stoic) I also am constantly aware that some things I believe today will turn out to be wrong. So in that sense I always look out for strong evidence that supports the existence of a god and/or an afterlife. We don't choose to be atheists, we are either convinced or unconvinced that a god exists.
Another great video, John. Thank you!
I have been following your channel for a while and have really come to appreciate the level headed attitude with which you dispense some harsh truths.
The lack of emotion compared to a lot of other content creators in the space has an almost stoic quality to it which I think makes me appreciate the message a lot more.
Cheers!
The biggest lesson I took from reading Nietzsche was this: take a vow of non-indignation - it's hard to keep it all the time, but if you can keep it, it's the best defense against all the noise and drama that we have to deal with.
Wow! I have never heard my viewpoint said so clearly and right on the money by another. It makes me feel positive that this world is going to be ok, because of men like you John. You are a wise man!
Thanks
As always great content my friend, I would just like to add that the men that truly choose to be single and understand what it is to be single by choice went through a long marriage and were hurt 😞 in one way or another and ended up divorcing. These men have a deep understanding of this concept and your content resonates with us. However a young man who has not been through anything probably does not value being single and thinks it’s the end of the world. Thank you for making these videos sir. I am blessed to have come across your content.
It's good to see this content, especially for younger men. Listening to the education system, media, government, and women will get you in trouble. Us old guys experienced this and understand now, hope young men can learn earlier.
By our age, people have narrowed their circle of friends to a small number and arent receptive to adding new people. And common experiences bond people together. Its not easy to find commonality when meeting new people. However, if you find yourself isolated in your marriage, being single really isnt much different.
Great video thank you.
64 now got married at 21. Still married but not going too well the last 10 years. She's running the agenda, lots of tension and rowing going on. I've been pathetic for so long now it's hard to know where to start.
If you’re not happy, leave. I’m 64 married 35 years. It just becomes a habit. Ultimately, I couldn’t see anything that I was getting out of the relationship.
I am going through the same, at 57. started working out again. work on yourself. forget her
Thank you for making these, and sharing your insights, very valuable. We guys do not have many places to go for support
This is the recipe.
I thank you for putting in words the formula, all of it is true.
We men don’t need a woman to make us complete; they’re add ons, nothing more than that.
Just build yourself in all aspects, and if you fell like having a great car, adding a watch to your wrist or a woman to your arm do it, without forgetting the watch and the car don’t change their minds daily about how they feel being next to you.
"It is better to be alone than to WISH you were alone." If you are single then you allocate all your resources (time, money, energy) how YOU want, meaning that if friends want to go hiking and you don't, then you don't go. When you partner up, you automatically lose half your resources (1 / 1 = 1, 1 / 2 + .5). Simple math...
So true. Thanks
You're a huge inspiration man, thanks for your videos. This is helpful to so many people.
People aren't atheists because there is some specific benefit to it. They simply do not believe that there is anything after death and can't convince themselves otherwise, even if they would benefit from being spiritual in some way. For many it is hard to have faith in something that has no empirical evidence to support it.
When you die you will be what you was before you was born
@@ninjatemper8797 I’ve seen plenty of evidence… it’s sad for those folks that they can’t perceive it.
Totally agree. I am an atheist not to gain some benefits, but rather to stay honest toward myself. I just can't believe and that's it. It's the same thing as I stay away from stealing from others, not because it's beneficial. It is just the right thing to do.
Look how complicated your body is. Take apart a pocket watch and put all the pieces in a box. How long do you think you will have to shake the box before the watch assembles itself?
@@clearsailing7993 shaking a box randomly for a long time is not like an evolution works. You missed the natural selection part.
This has been an excellent video.
I needed to have known this all back in my twenties.
I would have been dangerous. LOL
Mr. Griffin. I find you sharp and consistent. Thank you.
Thanks
I am a single 60 old dude, best video so far , awesome !!!
I'm buying a red Corvette.
the thumbnail hooked me
Mate this vid is the best you have done yet. Worth listening twice
Really appreciate your insights mate
G'day from little Perth Western Australia 👍
John this is your best video of the dozen or so ive seen. Im older and happily single for longer and you nailed the important points
Thanks
I've been enjoying binge watching these videos while at work, keep it up
Thanks, will do!
Thanks John, this was really helpful. I think also that as single man we need a circle of male friendships
I totally agree, it's really important to have a strong male support system.
Right at the beginning, dude... You're so right.
Look forward to your regular posts. Excellent content and context. Good life advice.
My man, truly enjoy your videos!
John,I agree that spirituality, in my case a belief in God, means that we are not alone, we have a higher power to converse with, as a sounding board of something more wise than us, and as a comfort for losses. With spirituality we do not travel this path alone.
I wish I could have leaned on the ex-wife a few times when I had to worked double shifts and then return home to take care of our kids. She flatly refused to help me. She was dumbfounded when she decided to leave us and I helped her packed her stuff.
Your best video yet. Keep up the good work, mate.
Thank you for making these videos. I look for a new vid every day.
Glad you like them!
I have always maintained that primary school children elementary grade should be taught about marriage and also about people who prefer to be single, that these people are perfectly happy and that’s it’s a totally valid and fulfilling way of existing and achieving your goals in life. We need to introduce this option as being respectable and completely normal for people to live out their lives. In fact so many great scientists were hermits. They attained such joy through their work and great notoriety which undoubtedly was intensified by solitude and focus brought about by the lack of distraction which a family life can rarely offer at the best of times. Great topics as always John! 👍🤩
This was the wisdom I’ve needed for 8months. Thank you and god bless you
Perfect advice! Though it's hard when you're young, a bit lost in life and not sure what to do, what's important and what's not (if had no good role models). I wish I knew this way earlier in life! More young men should see such videos and advice. May save lives. And that peace of mind!!!! :D :D Love "Prioritize your peace of mind above all other things"!
This is great advice. I love to hear your stories from your experiences. Its nspiring and your articulation is razor sharp. You are a great man John.
I appreciate it
Hey John, you responded to a comment i made in the past and I truly appreciate that. I am a 33 year old single father and your channel is very good. Developing character, integrity and masculine framework is extremely important in today's society. I would like to hear your thoughts on being "zeroed out" a term coined in the mens community. Divorce, death, job loss, health issues and more. I think your view would help young men as there is no avoiding hardship and adversity in this life, the extent of it varies though.
A great eye opener, many thanks you're a God send. Peace of mind is so critical. The calmness it brings is so amazing
This was an excellent video, brother. Everyone listening to this video should have benefited in some way by acknowledging the advice you shared. Peace and spiritually are paramount in every man and woman's life..
John, well said and I have lived it. Keep up the good work.
I’d love to help you make another video about how becoming emotionally in control of yourself is the best thing for you and it’s hard to do but it’s possible for sure. Getting women is step 1