Absolutely. If a man allows a woman to walk all over him, it is game over. The reason why this is the case is because the man has no boundaries. This means that he can easily give in to others. When a man establishes boundaries, she will feel safe.
I realized my wife was gone when was I sitting on a private beach on the island of Saint John in the Virgin Islands. We were staying at the Ritz Carlton in Saint Thomas for 5 days and I rented a boat at Red Hook Bay Marina to go island hopping and exploring. My 3 daughters were young under the age of 10. We took the boat to a little bay with a secluded beach and anchored off shore about 100 feet and we all swam to shore. I remember sitting on the beach, the sand was nice and warm, as my girls and their mother were playing down the beach a ways away from me. We had a beautiful Condo at the Ritz, which wasn’t cheap, a very romantic setting!!! My wife hardly knew I was there, needless to say there was no physical contact the whole time and my advances were spurned. As I sat on that beach I realized that it was over. She treated me like I was her step brother. I was crushed at realizing this, and how much like an idiot I felt. I had been chumped in the cruelest way that life could serve up. My biggest mistake? Was not leaving immediately. I stuck around for the children for a few more years and it was not a healthy household and being there just damaged me further. I took my vows to heart and they were sacred. But I must of missed the part where the priest said something about her changing her mind whenever she wanted with little consequences in those vows. I am fully Red Pilled now and happily single and have a much better understanding of female nature. Just made my last alimony payment this month October 2024! That was for 10 years BTW. I will retire one day with my integrity and honor intact. I wish I knew as a young single man what I know now about female nature. I was a lamb to slaughter when I got married in the early 90’s at the age of 31. Very naive!
Sorry to hear that Bro. I am kind of your situation but I don't think it is wrong to stay for the kids. I think it is important to tell your daughters about why she should stay with their husbands when they are married.
I admit I don't get this. It seems a lot of you have had horrible relationships. I get it, that's frequent, not judging. What was horrible for me though, was getting dumped. Not while the relationship lasted. I had constant great sex, great cooks, etc. Was it perfect? Oh no, far from it ha ha. But it was much better than single. For me anyway. I never had nagging GFs, I never tolerated that. Yet currently it seems I have a very hard time finding any gal that is GF material.
Perhaps this is somewhat true. I think it’s because women know other women can easily take their “man”. We are terrified of this! Terrified bc a broken heart from the loss of our man is devastating. 💔💔.
Whenever I got the "You ruined my life" accusation, I wouldn't argue and just say "Sorry to hear that; let me know what you want to do." So your final advice is spot on and accurate: don't argue with them. The whole "you ruined my life" allowed me to prepare for the inevitable and not fear it, and letting her go was the best thing to have happened.
Puts me in mind of my favorite Sam Clemmons quote. "It's very difficult to win an argument with an intelligent person, but it's impossible to win an argument with an idiot." If logic & facts don't work, what do you have left? Z
Actually as soon as his wife said she did not like being married, it was already over, she just played along till she was ready to go. Unfortunately this is what marriage means now.
Was at the ancient city of Troy. The guide was going thru the tale. Got to the end, when city fell. All the females in group were worried about was Helen. The guide looked at me (because unlike most I knew the tale from the classics), said ‘You tell them.’ I said ‘She waited at the end and went home with the winner, what women have always done.’ The women were shocked.
Loyalty means something different to women. “For better or worse, for richer or poorer” was written by a man. For women it is just an inspirational quote said at her big party.
As they say, men are loyal to the commitment, women are loyal only to their feelings. They really want the commitment early in the relationship for their safety , but feel free to dispose of the committment when they no longer feel the "fear" ? John, what do you think about this?
In society, Women are judged almost entirely on beauty. Men are judged on their virtue, status, ethics, morales and values. There is no need for a women to be virtuous.
@@neue01 now says you are correct but at one time women where judged on beauty virtue and how many children they had. A few men still judge on virtue it's just hard to find out. I picked up a woman once the first night we met but I wouldn't date her and that was one major factor so she had her neighbor come tell me I was the only man he had ever seen spend the night there and that when she ran for sheriff she would win.
It's essential to consider several factors when deciding whether to take someone seriously. Look into their upbringing-how their parents influenced them and their attachment style. Examine their relationship history, including the length of past relationships and the reasons for any breakups. Take note of the type of friends they surround themselves with and their career stability. Ultimately, focus on their actions rather than just their words; actions reveal true character.
My younger son, who is 16, was having trouble with his girlfriend today. He talked to her on the phone and began having an existential crisis. His brother is 19 and has had his girlfriend for a couple years now. I told him to go talk to his brother. The first thing his brther said was, "you can't reason with women." LOL. I was so proud. He used to get mad at me when I told him that when he was 16.
yup , the old " blurt and slam " . she emits a stream of hatefulness ( usually nonsensical ) then you can almost hear her ears slam shut . my ex divorced me when i was 41 and for a couple of years i was pretty hurt by it but looking back , i was just as fed up as she was and she did me a favor .
@@searcymasonry my dad's second wife did that to him and I let her finish her lie and double down on it to set the hook then I proved her wrong it was like letting the fish run with the line then pulling and watching it fly out of the water.
@@Brent-z2s reasoning with an argumentive woman is like playing chess with a pigeon . you might be the worlds best chess player but heres whats going to happen ; the pigeon is going to knock over all the playing pieces , shit on the board and strut arount the table cooing triumphantly .
Here's the problem with this mentality that men can never understand women: it fosters a defeatist attitude toward everything else. Maybe it's difficult to understand women, but how long have you tried to understand it? Did you give up too early? I bet you did. I bet you gave up early because EVERYONE tells you that men just can't understand women. It greatly underestimates a person's capacity to learn. Men solve problems. This is just another problem that is solvable and when you do solve it, the world opens up. If it's too hard for you to solve problems, then accept the terms: eat the bugs and live in a pod. Because that's for you.
Also, when I was divorcing, a wise friend told me that he had figured out what women want. MORE I said: more of what? He replied: More of whatever they already have.
@BlackBoyKingTV the problems society is having is because we are now acting against nature: men are thinking we need to take women's emotions seriously.
28yr marriage, together since HS 34yrs. Divorced 2 years ago, because she wasn't "HAPPY". LOL Worked and provided an amazing life, house, kids, went to every sporting event, trips, the all american family. She says I want to be single. Im not happy anymore. I put up with decades of PMS, 5yrs of menopause and then lose 60% of everything.....WTF!!!!! Im 58, in another relationship, and evaluating whether to ever get married again. Its a very, very bad contract. I dont trust ANY OF THEM. Love this channel, women are users and John is 100% right on.
What purpose would getting married again serve? I’m 57 and I’d never do that again. I’ve realized they are all irrational, hypergamous, and downright crazy. Focus on your hobbies, career / business, and develop more meaningful relationships with your kids. That’s all that matters. Make yourself happy.
WTF?!!! Evaluating ??? Oh wait, now I understand ... Remembering what Charlie Manson once said: "You beat a man with a whip... and he likes the whip ..."
When my ex-wife filed for divorce 2 years ago, I pleaded with her to not do this. To think of our little children. We have a duty and a commitment to them before ourselves. She just looked at me with a blank look on her face, and reptile-like eyes. The entire shocking experience taught me that women evolved to monkey branch and use men to get what they want and need, and men evolved to be loyal to a woman and their children for their survival. I've just learned to accept it, like death and taxes.
I saw those cobra eyes when our daughter (14 then) pleaded with her mother not to file for divorce. The same reptilian stare greeted me from across the courtroom before many weeks passed.
Social media has destroyed relationships. Most women have orbiters in their life. These are guys she can use as plan B if her current guy is not working as planned
Australian, American and most western world women think the same now, self-obsessed, self-centered, self-important and after all that they can get from their ex-partners. In the past they were caring, loving and good people, now they are as above.
@@peterrech2307 I lived in 8 countries and in 3 continents. Women are the essentially the same everywhere. Female nature is female nature. The self importance is even more pronounced in Asia.
Glad to know someone else experienced the realization that the woman they fell in love with is gone. The change was gradual, but my wife slowly became a different person. Heart breaking to realize, but it returned sanity into my life… every board was replaced on that ship.
I’m sure there are huge numbers of women out there who would say that their husbands have changed over time. “He’s not the man I married”. People grow, change, sometimes grow apart. With enough work and communication and willingness to adapt, marriages can sometimes be saved. It’s rare, but possible.
Its almost impossible to see that when your a young man, like 20 years old. But by 40 a man should realize a woman’s striking looks are temporary, so a man doesn't get to keep the women, she changes into something he doesn't want and your expected to take care of her the rest of her life lmao. Arthur Schopenheur called it the comedy of reproduction.
I admire your boldness in posting this. Your experience resonates strongly. "The only thing she loses when she walks away is that which she wants and hasn't yet received." - O.T. When the day comes that that thing is a divorce, as you said: don't argue. Be willing to just let her go, with as much equanimity as you can. The woman you married is dead or only existed in your head. "She's not yours, it was just your turn."
I "argued" and my ex had me thrown in jail. I never laid a hand on her. Got a restraining order and accused me of assault...that's how she GOT RID OF ME!
If she flips the switch on any thing, the moment you learn of it, you just got to be ruthless and cut ties immediately. No need to rationalise or explain yourself in this case.
We had a young colleague talking about relationships. He said at least I know my wife loves me. I told him...she loves you today. Every woman in the room cracked up when I said it. Because, they know how they are.
@@funlife3484 Women are heavily backed by the laws, courts, police, society. Every man can be discarded and labelled an "abuser" or can have false accusations levelled against him. Not so for men. We have to play the higher ground, always. No one is going to help men in these situations. We've experienced it and we are passing the knowledge down, up, left and right! I have personally experienced it. Wouldn't bother being on here commenting if it weren't true, I'd be out 'partying', commiting crimes or womanising.
@@michaelwhite6614 see, the laws have deterred you from committing crimes, womanising. No doubt that some clever woman misuse laws. There are both evil men and woman in the world.
After my divorce and a lot of dating and trying to make sense of female behaviour, I've come to the conclusion that you just have to ignore them and do whatever you want (for yourself) and they fall into place by themselves. I now have effortless and most enjoyable relationships without all the bs.
@@John_Wood_ Yes correct, and she will only have leverage if you give it to her or the state gives it to her through divorce ca-ching. So, staying single and no marriage is good advice.
@John_Wood_ That's why do not get married, do not let her move in with you and DO NOT get her pregnant. Do any of those and you've just invited the government to grape you!
Only wealthy or good looking men have leverage over women. Everyone else is always at risk of losing their girlfriends or wives at any time. Just depends on the woman's mood that day. It is freeing going into a relationship knowing this. So when she starts to act disrespectful to you, or announces that ahe is leaving, you can just nod your head and say bye. It infuriates women when the man doesn't get upset by this news
Sage advice. A wise man knows that should he embark on a relationship with a woman, he will always be outgunned and will always play second fiddle to her friends.
So true...they were all "our" best friends forever...until the day she decided she is not happy and does not want to feel that way anymore...she is not happy🤦♂️it is like they all have become clones...social network impact and brainwashing tv series maybe?
Brother, it took getting married at age 53 (she was 5 years younger than me) to realize, if I got in a relationship, I was the biggest part of the problem. At that age i no longer "NEEDED" a woman in the ways I did when I was younger: as a desperate attempt at proving my own self-worth. But by then, i was too set in my ways by then and I began to resent her when she made demands (without providing anything in return except occasional sex).
There's a line casually spoken by Angelica Houston in Lonesome Dove where she responds to old flame Gus' praise of her virtue where she simply replies "you'd be surprised"
@@sasandadashzadeh-x8h these women would throw their own kids under the bus for their own self gain. Look at how they are willing to have kids with an old man just for child support. That kid will most likely not have a father before the age of 10. But she’s getting child support, so who cares. Red Flag: Plus any woman willing to do an abortion is killing off a part of herself. Look into how abortions are actually done. Keep your legs closed and think before you do and you won’t be put into such a situation.
Going through a separation right now and your videos are a godsend. Love this content and it really resonates with me, especially the part about her changing from the person i once knew and loved. Thank you sir!
I think it helps when you know that other guys have gone through something similar. And when you can see that the person you married is not the person that you are with today it makes it much easier to end the marriage.
Nothing is their fault because of distorted perception. Frankly, it's like you are dealing with a psychotic person. Their brains are simply distorted. They go in and out of psychosis. No reason, mo pattern. Bizarre.
What great insight! You’re absolutely right that the girl you had was completely invested in the relationship, but she changed her mind and now wants out. She has become a different person. The girl I loved is now gone. It took me years to come to this realization after my first love broke up with me. This perspective helped me move on from her. It’s refreshing to hear another guy express this. Thank you!
I'm 67 and never married. Been through quite a few women living here in southern california. The main thing I learned years ago was men fall in love, not women. That's the basis of it all.
SoCal is a Hades pit for finding decent women unless you are a pro / semi-pro level pick-up artist, in which case it’s probably pretty good terrain for pump-N-dump.
I recognize now that all women have a shelf life. It is not in their nature to do the”till death do we part” and all social media did was expose it. I only rent now.
It takes a very strong-willed gentleman in order to cohabitate. I've tried cohabitating in the past and only lasted a few weeks. My exes seemed to all be anti-peace. They always wanted problems.
I have lived with 5 women. Each had a different situation but the result was the same. I would rather she keep her place and I keep mine and we get together when it is convenient. The only companion I will live with moving forward is a dog.
Never show them any weakness, do not give them any reigns under any circumstance, do not be that stupid ‘vulnerable’ with them. They must only see strength and power from you 👊
The vast majority of women are Relationship Traders, not Relationship Investors. And we all know only 1% of stock traders are successful in the market. It's similar in the relationship market.
A few weeks ago I was looking at some old pictures that I took of my wife when we were first dating. I was under no illusions that this happy, healthy and sensual woman was long gone and she's never coming back. Whenever I find myself thinking back to those happier times, I accepted some time ago that the man I used to be is dead as well. However, the way I see it is that he needed to die so that I could open my eyes and accept the many mistakes I made in picking the wrong girl and getting married. Now that my eyes are open, I can see the path forward to finding a new purpose without a lazy and nasty person holding me back from my true potential.
Excellent observations. Hypergamy is very real and social media just facilitates the myriad of choices for these women. When you hear, 'i'm not happy,' it's a wrap bro. Thanks for the well done vids JG. Glad you're channel is growing.
Once she mentions divorce or that she is not happy start looking for a divorce attorney and start protecting you assets. Your marriage is over. It might take days or years but it over.
its funny too cause they were happy enough until the found their next "shiny new object" then they convince themselves that they're "unhappy" as justification to leave.
It’s been carved on stone from the beginning of time, “seven year itch of a beach” meaning after seven years of marriage they get bored and want a divorce and this more true today than ever before. So kings never get married.
Don't become a slave to women for a piece of ass. I've been with enough of them to know it's a waste of time. Relationships NEVER last no matter how much effort you put into them.
I think you have to match their energy and let them do more and then when they decide to leave, you're already in that mindset of " okay it's time to go"
Exactly. Caught heaps of them over the years, often much younger. The catch was never as good as the chase after a few months. Bachelor life is be$t … 😎
@@GBU61The Simps and Cucks never will...untill they are broke homeless sleeping in their cars and for some six feet under...then some learn. But dont expect the schools or Big Daddy Government to teach these lessons.
Your idea for when they change and leave, to consider them as dead makes sense. Because, as you implied, the woman you fell in love with is gone. She may still be on the planet physically, but the personality that attracted you changed/evolved/devolved, no longer exists, and probably wont/can't return. Framing the situation this way can provide some solace. Thank you.
Women & men are wired differently. He works off logic, she lives off emotion. Her emotions alone, will take your life on a ridiculous rollercoaster ride, based on her desires & selfishness. Remember for some women, it's all about them over you. She will want you to execute, commit, and sacrifice yourself to make her happy; just make sure she is also doing the work on her side of the fence. If you don't see that, don't waste your time, dump her & find someone who appreciates you.
Us women also feel a deep need to belong, be accepted by friends, family, peer group. Fear of being alone, acceptance from the group. I watch this channel to understand a man’s perspective. You are right about the reactivity. Not looking so much into the future.
There's a line from the early 2000's TV series "Deadwood", which takes place in the mid-1800's during the Gold Rush time. It is two men talking, and it goes something like this: "I'd rather try to lassoo the fking moon & pull it down to earth than try to figure out the mind of a woman." Nailed it. Thank you for your channel. Just discovered it today & I'm hooked. 🙏🏻
A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 6 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here , I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her .
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 6 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
I think all men over a certain age can relate to this on some way. NEVER lose sight of hobbies, your job / career / business, and if you have kids - love them and foster good relationships with them. That’s all that matters in life anyway. Women sap your time, energy, emotions, and your money.
37 years I spent living with woman, 18 years married then 5 years and 13 years relationships never hurt any of them and provided well even raised 3 kids that wasn't mine, all flipped out and left, my wife died 2 year's later chasing the guy she left us for other had a kid with a loser and last a nervous break down when I wouldn't take her back, l don't try anymore
And usually they’re not even “trading up” but are being fooled by the dopamine release of a new experience/guy. They are drug addicts and love the honeymoon feeling
It's funny how 17 years ago,before I got married, I would have thought you really didn't like women. Now, divorcing after 17 years, I so get it. Betrayal, not just to me, but to the kids and every other commitment surrounding marriage is so sad and a decision I sure can't understand.
The instinct to find the perceived Alpha Chad is strong as an industrial magnet when they are young to middle aged, and as they reach maybe 60, if they don't directly need the current husband financially, they'd just as soon live alone if you could read their mind. Thats when the hoarding, or romance novels, or blocked gutters really begins. 😅😅😅
I'm right there with you. 15 years married before D day. I stopped trying to figure out what happened, it just got me more agitated. This is because I thought I was doing everything right. Now single, I am at piece and without the anxiety worrying whether she is happy or not. Now I just make sure I'm happy and that is so much better.
As a young man who has experienced the cruel nature of women i finally understand why older men always tell me not to get involved with women. Their only goal is to extract resources from you before they get bored. No marriage no problems. Its too bad that this is how our society is going to fall apart.
I graduated from High School in 1958 and half of my class was married that summer. Within a year all the guys told me "Don't get married" so I took their advice. Taking that advice has worked well for me. A 1950s woman is no different than a 2020s woman. Women react to feelings and emotions. Men live with reality and common sense.
I look back now and realize every girl I have dated had one way or another to extract money from me. I have had five girlfriends that worked full time trying to get me to buy a house with them “together”. Four of the five had never even owned a house. Luckily I passed on all attempts. Had I done this, I would have had to buy the house twice.
If you want to ruin your life be miserable and broke get married. If you want to have a great life be happy and save money. Stay single. It really is that simple.
@supersteve8305 I love that all these older men are sharing so many gems for the 20 yr olds and late 30s like myself who feel I missed out on something important in life. I dodge a bullet and got sober and stopped porn mostly too.
Women are creatures of emotion and whatever they feel they will justify mentally. A girl friend told me only about 20 percent of women love their husbands and the rest will do a risk benefit assessment of how goodlooking the new guy is verses how much they have to lose if their husband leaves. This is compounded by the court system which rewards them if they divorce.
I suspect female attraction is only as high as 20% during the engagement period. By the wedding day it’s already below 20%. Men disgust them… even Chad and Ray Ray.
@@WildMidwest1 Right. Each time you cater to them, they lose a chunk of respect for you. So by the time of the wedding day, you are already hanging on by a thread.
To many drugs are taken today with the majority of women today to really understand what is going on upstairs of a woman. It has changed over the last 4 decades and men too are now being told to take drugs for things we dont need. My ex wife told me she needed to take her antidepressant, because if she did not, she would be nuts. Unfortunately she told me that after two years of marriage, we seperated on the third year.
This is a very good point that is rarely talked about. My wife takes prescription meds for "mental health issues" and after being around her for some years I don't think there is anything wrong with her brain. She's just an extremely lazy person with low self esteem who lacks the discipline needed to be a functional adult. A good diet and exercise routine would do wonders for her mental health and would most likely allow her to toss her meds. But I've given up trying to guide her towards this, once I'm gone she'll have to discover this on her own.
Sorry to hear. My ex wife had three kids and was completely lazy and did no parrenting. When i had left as i raised them for almost 8 years, they took over the house. She had no seniority or adult control and as a step dad, i also had non and they wanted me out of the house. The ex wife is a 9.5 on pretty and has no problem taking men home at any bar any night if that is what she wants. But her meds were a solution in her brain. Same with her oldes kid. She would put him on any drug they would perscribe and i would do reasearch on those and attempt to discuss the side effects and then he would get another drug to combat those side effects. Sad thing is, my ex was a navy wife and could get any drug she wanted as we were both in the healthfield and knew how to play the system. I do not take any drugs prescribed that is. But sorry to here you are coming to possibly and end of you union, but we all have to k ow when to tap out. My first wife went nuts and needed meds , but did not take them. So i have seen both sides.😊@ItalNico
Besides all official divorces. Just imagine how many people that are still married on the paper due to economy/kids/religious views but lives entirely in separate homes. Next stop, divorce I guess.
And that's why women are incapable of changing their behavior. They react automatically to their emotions. The only way their behavior changes is if they are forced to do so.
An easy way to think about it is women are playing chess while men are playing checkers. The most valuable piece on the board is the King but he can only move one space. The queen can move anywhere on the board and can do the most damage. But it is the king who holds all the ultimate power since the goal is to capture him to win the game.
I listened to all my married friends from my High School days and 30+ years after when they told me to "stay single." However, at the age of 52, I met an accomplished retired woman in her 50s who had no children and was never married. Before we tied the knot we set personal boundaries and we both set up a prenup. We never had a fight, just disagreements and she made no demands of me or my time. We both had the same religion and interests, traveled the world together, and enjoyed each other's company and friends. She died a heroic death from cancer in 2020 but gave me 27 years of great memories, fun, and love. So my point is it can be done, but you have to find an exceptional woman ... and be a man she admires and trusts.
So my point is you too can hit the lottery, but you have to walk into the right store at the perfect time... and pick the winning scratch-off ticket. Lest you wear out your elbow patting yourself on the back, please try to understand that you got lucky - not in getting her, after all she was a menopausal childless spinster. Rather, your fortune lies in the fact that cancer ate her before she decided that she was too good for you, whereupon she'd have commenced the misery and/or monkey branching that 99% of the other gentlemen in the comments have detailed... (edit) or at least before you could find out about it.
That observation “If you can find a woman with some courage, maybe you can settle down with her” is spot on. Alternatively you can try to find a woman with no friends in a country that doesn’t undermine men. A lot of all female gatherings are just like those camp fire, horror story telling get togethers where city slickers afraid of the dark try to scare each other. They magnify each other’s fears.
When you say “that woman is gone” is literary true, especially after menopause kicks in. It is physically a different brain. Freud wrote on this matter: “quarrelsome, vexatious and overbearing.”
You guys are late, I stopped dealing with women 20 years ago. I honestly believe they really don't like men, we're just a means to an end. Just about every couple I meet the guy is way more into the woman. I also say that women have very low sex drives, that's why sex stops after the marriage and kids.
Well in the modern world (built by men) they don't really need us, outside of emergency/disaster type situations. Between tech, infrastructure and the government it's all covered. Sets up a rather bleak outlook for society.
The brain of a woman, as of a man, is always changing. The brain of a young woman is to get done by good genes, she desires to have the best inside her. As time goes by, as she ages, she desires more and more material things, luxury, properties, power, money to make her life easier. There is time for everything under the Sun. As you said, we die from time to time. Women change all the time and she will do the things that it is better for her, it doesn´t matter who she hurts, she will always do things only for her benefit.
Hey John, thank you for this video. I’ve studied-or rather, I’ve tried to understand-women over the past 10 years, intellectually, philosophically, and emotionally. Long story short, women are craving the mythical man, the real man. Given the society we live in, and how it has transformed into something more feminized and more infantile, men have begun to change, becoming more and more like girlfriends, if I may put it that way. The two key things I’ve discovered are, first, that women are addicted to emotion-specifically, to the variation of emotion. Even if a woman has everything, she will perceive it as a flat line. She won’t feel fulfilled and will seek out more chaos or roller coasters in her emotions. For her, things need to move and change in order for her to find reconciliation. Women thrive on the variation of emotion, not on emotional stagnation. Any predictability is seen as boring, equating to death in their perception. Lastly, I believe women are in search of a sort of mythical man they can’t find in modern society. Modern society breeds men who are more like friends, collaborators, weak, lacking backbone, and afraid of their masculinity. That’s the world we live in. Thank you again.
I’ve been saying that “women’s intuition” is really just a fear response. Because they’ll say their “intuition” told them not to trust something or someone. Okay but why doesn’t their “intuition” tell them who they CAN trust?
@@mrmoe110 their ideal fantasy that you create for them is what they latch their trust onto - they don’t live in our world that man built they live in the fantasy world that you create for them - the moment the fantasy goes away which is due to real world events like job changes, loss of income, less time spent with them because you have to handle your own shit, is when they believe the fantasy is no longer real
I have been married to my husband over 35 years and I love hanging out with men. No drama....they live in the moment and most are pretty chill, very logical, people pleasing people. Most of my friends have also been married just as long or longer. What I have noticed about the women that are still married is, they don't take everything their husband does or says personally.
Yes! I agree. I love hanging out with my husband. We do a lot of sports together and have the best conversations about what’s going on in this crazy world.
A man thinks "I want that. I need that. I've got to have that. What do I have to do to get it?" A woman thinks "I want that. I need that. I've got to have that. Who can I get to get it for me?" Chris Rock.
How does that old song go….”if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get another girl to marry you.”
I can't imagine living in a constant sea of fear and anxiety in such a complex world. Emotions will completely envelope your decision 99% of the time so much so you become immune to peace and quiet like something is lurking in the corner......it must be a touch place to be in. Explains why they identify with the toxic, unpredictable and chaotic guy.
John you're such an astute guy. Plus have heaps of real life understanding to share. I wish I had access to someone like yourself at a young age. Looking back, I bet you do too.
My *FIFTEEN* year old nephew turned me on to your content. Can you imagine how successful Gen Alpha is going to be if they're learning this stuff in HS?!
@MzAqua You misunderstood what I said. I said Gen Alpha because that's the generation that's going to learn from Gen Z. If the avg Gen Zer grasps this knowledge at at 20 something, imagine how early Gen Alpha is going to get it. We might be red pilled kindergartens
@@GreatPoss111 Please tell your nephew he is very very lucky to be able to access men's accumulated experience at such young age and that he should soak up as much as is sensible timewise, take it seriously, and ultimately make his own conclusions in time and in turn pass them on.
Another great video.Any women who leaves and wants to try again has just learnt the grass isnt greener.If the man has no options he may take her back.I didn't
My mother would have aborted me if the state had been allowing her to at that time. I would have been a murder victim. She told me so when I was 20. Abortion isn't about rape victims. It's about women wanting to play fast and loose with the responsibility nature has given them. God doesn't have to punish us. Our society will eventually die out because of it.
Wom3n are born with a million dollars if they are pretty. But if they don't play their cards right in their 20s, the wall is coming for them in their 30s. And then it's a lonely life with boxed wine, head meds, and cats. Men have to earn their value through grit, perseverance, and overcoming. Often times we don't peak until our 40s. But if you make it there, got your finances in order, your health, your mentality, and you're in good physical shape... life is good! You are now a high value man, free from the tyranny of marriage, free to live your life on YOUR terms. It's a blessing.
John, another great video, thank you! I am going to watch this again. I wanted to point out something additional from patterns of divorces I seen, including mine. There appears to be 2 points in time that women absolutely lose their handle on things: 1. When the marriage hits the 20 year mark (Mine at 21) or when the woman turns 40 (mine 41). I have observed this many times, but didn't put 2 and 2 together until it happened to me. Of course there is the loss of sex after the second child and so forth, but this is earlier in the marriage. And as you said, you can't let her get bored and that is Sooo true. Regarding your observations about the female amygdala and their fear response and FOMO, this is another eye opening observation right in front of our noses. What I wanted to add additionally , though, is that I have very recently heard on the channel "Happy Wife School" ( a female vlogger) that women go through neuro-chemical changes in the brain at about 40 years of age. According to the HWS Vlogger, women cannot understand what is happening in their heads, so they blame their man, as it MUST be his fault . Food for thought. Keep up the good work!
My ex met me in divorce court for our first hearing on our twentieth anniversary day. She said the date was just a coincidence. Blue pill as I was, I took her to coffee afterward and discussed how we would handle the children. She cleaned me out. Nearly six years and a couple LTRs later I am still in recovery. 😢 I almost never think about her. It’s been 100% no-contact since the kids turned 18. No woman will ever gain that kind of leverage over me again. I am getting better at kicking them to the curb at the first sign of disrespect.
When people give you everything, and you never struggle to succeed to have anything. You’re an egotistical monster, and have no idea of the way the world actually is. To give these people political power is insane
Thank you.. That is wisdom I have not heard before. I was lucky that I had a woman that shared a common goal with me. We were farmers. We were together until she died from cancer
16:35 "she was bored" /"gets bored easily" yea man that's a major red flag for me. I ask a lot of women that and when they say yes they get bored easily, I mentally place them as "good time, not a long time, there's others in line" 😂
I came to that conclusion as well. My ex wife is not the woman I married. I don't know who that woman is. Be aware that they are always working on figuring you out...never be too perdictable. To be honest never put them first and never cohabitate.
If the divorce switch is flipped on. Just leave her alone at that point. Work on yourself. If you start going out of your way to make her happy and everything perfect it will be seen as a negative in her eyes. Kind of a too little too late; even if you weren't the problem.
Sure wish this channel was available back in 2004 when my ex hit me with the “ I want a divorce” thing after 23 years Would have been a lifesaver Keep up the good work brother , you’re doing Gods work
John your rite. The internet and Facebook creates a false life for people and they feel like there missing out. I've seen many act like monkeys swinging from one branch to another dating apps make this so easy for them always looking for the next best thing.
Excellent!......maybe your best work yet... Remember Stephen Hawking the modern day Einstein? Frozen in a wheelchair, head cocked to one side, spoke thru a computer? He would give talks to huge crowds, just his self, rolled out onto an empty stage. During one such occasion, hushed crowd, he opened by saying 'The universe is not understood.....but someday it will be'. Next he said ...'But the mind of a woman will never be understood' I realized then, that if the smartest man in the world couldn't figure 'em out there's no hope for the rest of us!
Maybe the words "I'm here to help you" would work better than ignoring or trying to persuade. I learned this on a SCUBA diving course learning how to rescue a panicked diver at the water surface. Do not immediately swim to the panicked diver because they will grab hold of you and do anything to get themselves out of the water including pushing you down below the water. Instead approach them but keep more than an arms length away and say very clearly to them as they plash around and gasp in panic I'M HERE TO HELP YOU. And then do not approach them face to face but circle them to approach them from behind to grab them and pull them back to shore or the boat. Yes the brave and adventurous woman may be a lifelong partner to an adventurous and brave man. For me the damsel in distress is not an attractor but a trigger. Help the damsel but do not stick around. The good Samaritan helped the injured man as he could but the very next day he departed; he did not stay to care for the injured man.
Me neither and it's so true most women might just want you bcuz of safety or validation like, I've experienced the fear part they start by saying I was in a toxic relationship always so believe all women at your own risk
My funny epiphany was that in Beauty and the Beast the story, the woman is represented by Beauty and the man is represented by Beast. Based on what I know now, it's really women who are the beasts that change and get emotional, and men are beauty. Let it go 22:00, well said
I’ve experienced it all. The hypergamy, the monkey branching, irrationality, and illogical thought about everything. In a word, they’re all insane. John said it. They’re nuts.
Wanna make a woman miserable? Give her everything she wants.
Perfect
Absolutely. If a man allows a woman to walk all over him, it is game over.
The reason why this is the case is because the man has no boundaries. This means that he can easily give in to others. When a man establishes boundaries, she will feel safe.
@@billreddy7593 Exactly. Because she doesn’t have anything to complain about. And that just won’t work for her.
*everything she thinks she wants
Totally agree!!!!
I realized my wife was gone when was I sitting on a private beach on the island of Saint John in the Virgin Islands. We were staying at the Ritz Carlton in Saint Thomas for 5 days and I rented a boat at Red Hook Bay Marina to go island hopping and exploring. My 3 daughters were young under the age of 10. We took the boat to a little bay with a secluded beach and anchored off shore about 100 feet and we all swam to shore. I remember sitting on the beach, the sand was nice and warm, as my girls and their mother were playing down the beach a ways away from me. We had a beautiful Condo at the Ritz, which wasn’t cheap, a very romantic setting!!! My wife hardly knew I was there, needless to say there was no physical contact the whole time and my advances were spurned. As I sat on that beach I realized that it was over. She treated me like I was her step brother. I was crushed at realizing this, and how much like an idiot I felt. I had been chumped in the cruelest way that life could serve up. My biggest mistake? Was not leaving immediately. I stuck around for the children for a few more years and it was not a healthy household and being there just damaged me further. I took my vows to heart and they were sacred. But I must of missed the part where the priest said something about her changing her mind whenever she wanted with little consequences in those vows. I am fully Red Pilled now and happily single and have a much better understanding of female nature. Just made my last alimony payment this month October 2024! That was for 10 years BTW. I will retire one day with my integrity and honor intact. I wish I knew as a young single man what I know now about female nature. I was a lamb to slaughter when I got married in the early 90’s at the age of 31. Very naive!
Sorry to hear that Bro. I am kind of your situation but I don't think it is wrong to stay for the kids. I think it is important to tell your daughters about why she should stay with their husbands when they are married.
Very true. We weren't able to share experiences so easily back then, so many of us just became another statistic of a broken system.
I enjoyed that read. Used to live in BVI so know the area.
We were all lambs to the slaughter when we got married. Wish I knew then what I know now.
I got slaughtered also. Just now coming back to life almost 3 years later. Stay strong bros we got this.
Once upon a time there was a man. He stayed single.....and lived happily ever after. The end.
😂
I find this very relatable. LOL
There were also many other men who divorced (and wished they had been that man who had stayed single).
I admit I don't get this. It seems a lot of you have had horrible relationships. I get it, that's frequent, not judging. What was horrible for me though, was getting dumped. Not while the relationship lasted. I had constant great sex, great cooks, etc. Was it perfect? Oh no, far from it ha ha. But it was much better than single. For me anyway. I never had nagging GFs, I never tolerated that. Yet currently it seems I have a very hard time finding any gal that is GF material.
You should write a book. I will buy it.
To quote Al Bundy: "Women understand women. And they hate each other.". That is a very accurate summary.
No, they like each other. But when I hear 2 women talking in a coffee shoppe, they're usually taking about another woman.
Perhaps this is somewhat true. I think it’s because women know other women can easily take their “man”. We are terrified of this! Terrified bc a broken heart from the loss of our man is devastating. 💔💔.
@@KB-ns4sn Al Bundy speaks Truth!!
No they don't.
@@DMuvvyAin’t that simple to „take“ their man. Men tend to be loyal. You draw conclusions from yourself about the world of men.
You hit the nail on the head when you said “ you have to see the woman as a revolving entity, excellent analogy
An entity of chaos … 😵
Whenever I got the "You ruined my life" accusation, I wouldn't argue and just say "Sorry to hear that; let me know what you want to do." So your final advice is spot on and accurate: don't argue with them. The whole "you ruined my life" allowed me to prepare for the inevitable and not fear it, and letting her go was the best thing to have happened.
I know, there’s no point in arguing
She heard that phrase from her girlfriends at Starbucks before using it on you.
@andre1987eph Yeah they usually just parrot whatever they heard someone else say. They lack original thought.
Puts me in mind of my favorite Sam Clemmons quote. "It's very difficult to win an argument with an intelligent person, but it's impossible to win an argument with an idiot." If logic & facts don't work, what do you have left? Z
Actually as soon as his wife said she did not like being married, it was already over, she just played along till she was ready to go. Unfortunately this is what marriage means now.
No woman, no cry.
Hm. And apparently a good number of fellas here have met what Billy Joel calls The Stranger-
Best comment
@@RTDF516great song
aaaahahahahahahahaha you win the internet
Exodus!
Leaving Babylon!
Was at the ancient city of Troy. The guide was going thru the tale. Got to the end, when city fell. All the females in group were worried about was Helen. The guide looked at me (because unlike most I knew the tale from the classics), said ‘You tell them.’ I said ‘She waited at the end and went home with the winner, what women have always done.’ The women were shocked.
@@vincewhite5087 and they all get pissed when you figure it out.
Loyalty means something different to women. “For better or worse, for richer or poorer” was written by a man. For women it is just an inspirational quote said at her big party.
As they say, men are loyal to the commitment, women are loyal only to their feelings. They really want the commitment early in the relationship for their safety , but feel free to dispose of the committment when they no longer feel the "fear" ? John, what do you think about this?
Yes sir.
Those vows where taken out most weddings in the 90s.
In society, Women are judged almost entirely on beauty. Men are judged on their virtue, status, ethics, morales and values. There is no need for a women to be virtuous.
@@neue01 now says you are correct but at one time women where judged on beauty virtue and how many children they had. A few men still judge on virtue it's just hard to find out. I picked up a woman once the first night we met but I wouldn't date her and that was one major factor so she had her neighbor come tell me I was the only man he had ever seen spend the night there and that when she ran for sheriff she would win.
It's essential to consider several factors when deciding whether to take someone seriously. Look into their upbringing-how their parents influenced them and their attachment style. Examine their relationship history, including the length of past relationships and the reasons for any breakups. Take note of the type of friends they surround themselves with and their career stability. Ultimately, focus on their actions rather than just their words; actions reveal true character.
"When women leave we are relieved" - John Griffin
Tip ..... never take them back when they return.
AGREE, NEVER!! Both ex- wives wanted back in. I blocked & basically never spoke to them again. BEST THING I EVER DID
@@bigthangz5489 absolutely I had one come back after she left me for dead I told her nope not after what you did and hung up
My ex failed in her second marriage, No surprise.
My younger son, who is 16, was having trouble with his girlfriend today. He talked to her on the phone and began having an existential crisis. His brother is 19 and has had his girlfriend for a couple years now. I told him to go talk to his brother. The first thing his brther said was, "you can't reason with women." LOL. I was so proud. He used to get mad at me when I told him that when he was 16.
yup , the old " blurt and slam " . she emits a stream of hatefulness ( usually nonsensical ) then you can almost hear her ears slam shut . my ex divorced me when i was 41 and for a couple of years i was pretty hurt by it but looking back , i was just as fed up as she was and she did me a favor .
@@searcymasonry my dad's second wife did that to him and I let her finish her lie and double down on it to set the hook then I proved her wrong it was like letting the fish run with the line then pulling and watching it fly out of the water.
@@Brent-z2s reasoning with an argumentive woman is like playing chess with a pigeon . you might be the worlds best chess player but heres whats going to happen ; the pigeon is going to knock over all the playing pieces , shit on the board and strut arount the table cooing triumphantly .
@@searcymasonry that's what my dad told me but I wasn't arguing with her I was calling her a liar and it shut her up.
Here's the problem with this mentality that men can never understand women: it fosters a defeatist attitude toward everything else. Maybe it's difficult to understand women, but how long have you tried to understand it? Did you give up too early? I bet you did. I bet you gave up early because EVERYONE tells you that men just can't understand women. It greatly underestimates a person's capacity to learn.
Men solve problems. This is just another problem that is solvable and when you do solve it, the world opens up.
If it's too hard for you to solve problems, then accept the terms: eat the bugs and live in a pod. Because that's for you.
Also, when I was divorcing, a wise friend told me that he had figured out what women want. MORE I said: more of what? He replied: More of whatever they already have.
Yes, more. Or, something different. Smh...
More of everything
Dad did punch holes in walls. Never touched Mum. But at times silently put his fist thru the wall and walk out to his shed
More chaos
...and of course, it's never enough.
Ive been married 2 times 7years and 28 years you are on the mark with your insight
Men aren't supposed to pick up women's emotions or take them seriously . If we did the human species wouldn't have survived. Seriously.
Great insight
It is quite opposite, by nature.
We arent surviving now
Very true! We wouldn't have been able to kill the sabertooth tigers because they thought they were cute.
@BlackBoyKingTV the problems society is having is because we are now acting against nature: men are thinking we need to take women's emotions seriously.
28yr marriage, together since HS 34yrs. Divorced 2 years ago, because she wasn't "HAPPY". LOL
Worked and provided an amazing life, house, kids, went to every sporting event, trips, the all american family. She says I want to be single. Im not happy anymore.
I put up with decades of PMS, 5yrs of menopause and then lose 60% of everything.....WTF!!!!!
Im 58, in another relationship, and evaluating whether to ever get married again. Its a very, very bad contract.
I dont trust ANY OF THEM.
Love this channel, women are users and John is 100% right on.
@@damonbalch you got married once. Don't ever do it again.
What purpose would getting married again serve? I’m 57 and I’d never do that again. I’ve realized they are all irrational, hypergamous, and downright crazy. Focus on your hobbies, career / business, and develop more meaningful relationships with your kids. That’s all that matters. Make yourself happy.
WTF?!!! Evaluating ??? Oh wait, now I understand ... Remembering what Charlie Manson once said: "You beat a man with a whip... and he likes the whip ..."
@@Dave-bz4pbAgree. When I am 70, put it all in a trust, get a asian girl.
When my ex-wife filed for divorce 2 years ago, I pleaded with her to not do this. To think of our little children. We have a duty and a commitment to them before ourselves. She just looked at me with a blank look on her face, and reptile-like eyes. The entire shocking experience taught me that women evolved to monkey branch and use men to get what they want and need, and men evolved to be loyal to a woman and their children for their survival. I've just learned to accept it, like death and taxes.
Had an ex who later on told me why she divorced her husband. He didn’t do anything wrong she just wanted more from life.
I saw those cobra eyes when our daughter (14 then) pleaded with her mother not to file for divorce. The same reptilian stare greeted me from across the courtroom before many weeks passed.
They are, what they are, no changing that!
You need to learn to teach women responsibility, not to accept the lack of it.
@@dukewilliam3660I had one say that to me too.
All I'll say before yt shadowbans me is that our ancestors knew what they were doing when they all limited their rights.
E-X-A-C-T-L-Y. Exactly.
In islamic countries they had rights originally but they had to be taken away because of the degeneracy that followed
*Sphere of influence, not rights.
Social media has destroyed relationships. Most women have orbiters in their life. These are guys she can use as plan B if her current guy is not working as planned
They knew the deal.
Australian, American and most western world women think the same now, self-obsessed, self-centered, self-important and after all that they can get from their ex-partners. In the past they were caring, loving and good people, now they are as above.
@@peterrech2307 I lived in 8 countries and in 3 continents. Women are the essentially the same everywhere. Female nature is female nature. The self importance is even more pronounced in Asia.
Glad to know someone else experienced the realization that the woman they fell in love with is gone. The change was gradual, but my wife slowly became a different person. Heart breaking to realize, but it returned sanity into my life… every board was replaced on that ship.
@@Lucas-mf1tc yeah it really helps if you realize that this isn’t the same person anymore.
It's crazy how that happens. We only want the woman who we married. Then one day, who is this person?
@Lucas-mf1tc when you find a women as a young man she is like your cute little puppy. Later in your marriage, she can turn into a raging werewolf.
I’m sure there are huge numbers of women out there who would say that their husbands have changed over time. “He’s not the man I married”. People grow, change, sometimes grow apart. With enough work and communication and willingness to adapt, marriages can sometimes be saved. It’s rare, but possible.
Its almost impossible to see that when your a young man, like 20 years old. But by 40 a man should realize a woman’s striking looks are temporary, so a man doesn't get to keep the women, she changes into something he doesn't want and your expected to take care of her the rest of her life lmao. Arthur Schopenheur called it the comedy of reproduction.
I admire your boldness in posting this. Your experience resonates strongly. "The only thing she loses when she walks away is that which she wants and hasn't yet received." - O.T. When the day comes that that thing is a divorce, as you said: don't argue. Be willing to just let her go, with as much equanimity as you can. The woman you married is dead or only existed in your head. "She's not yours, it was just your turn."
I "argued" and my ex had me thrown in jail. I never laid a hand on her. Got a restraining order and accused me of assault...that's how she GOT RID OF ME!
If you attempt to argue, you might end up in jail with a restraining order. That's what happened to me.
This should be the talk all fathers give to their sons long before they think of marriage.
If she flips the switch on any thing, the moment you learn of it, you just got to be ruthless and cut ties immediately. No need to rationalise or explain yourself in this case.
@@runners4tme immediate action can save a man’s soul.
And never take it personally
We had a young colleague talking about relationships. He said at least I know my wife loves me. I told him...she loves you today. Every woman in the room cracked up when I said it. Because, they know how they are.
@@jamest2861 aren't some men like that too?. They want to leave when they get bored. Both men and women are likely to be victims.
Some men are like that. Men like Elvis, Brad, Rod, Mick, Frank. They can afford to get bored. Damn...that rhymed!
@@funlife3484 Women are heavily backed by the laws, courts, police, society. Every man can be discarded and labelled an "abuser" or can have false accusations levelled against him. Not so for men. We have to play the higher ground, always. No one is going to help men in these situations. We've experienced it and we are passing the knowledge down, up, left and right! I have personally experienced it. Wouldn't bother being on here commenting if it weren't true, I'd be out 'partying', commiting crimes or womanising.
@@michaelwhite6614 see, the laws have deterred you from committing crimes, womanising.
No doubt that some clever woman misuse laws. There are both evil men and woman in the world.
@@funlife3484yes, to return to being sacred with one another is the path
After my divorce and a lot of dating and trying to make sense of female behaviour, I've come to the conclusion that you just have to ignore them and do whatever you want (for yourself) and they fall into place by themselves. I now have effortless and most enjoyable relationships without all the bs.
that only works if she has no leverage with you.
@@John_Wood_ Yes correct, and she will only have leverage if you give it to her or the state gives it to her through divorce ca-ching. So, staying single and no marriage is good advice.
@John_Wood_ That's why do not get married, do not let her move in with you and DO NOT get her pregnant. Do any of those and you've just invited the government to grape you!
Only wealthy or good looking men have leverage over women. Everyone else is always at risk of losing their girlfriends or wives at any time. Just depends on the woman's mood that day. It is freeing going into a relationship knowing this. So when she starts to act disrespectful to you, or announces that ahe is leaving, you can just nod your head and say bye. It infuriates women when the man doesn't get upset by this news
1000000% true
Stay single kings. You do not have the power to make your marriage successful like you think you do.
Sage advice. A wise man knows that should he embark on a relationship with a woman, he will always be outgunned and will always play second fiddle to her friends.
True!!!
💯👍🏼🤝👊
So true...they were all "our" best friends forever...until the day she decided she is not happy and does not want to feel that way anymore...she is not happy🤦♂️it is like they all have become clones...social network impact and brainwashing tv series maybe?
A shifty and fickle object is woman. Always. Voltaire.
8yrs single and starting to think I'm actually happier this way. It's just the Peace and Quiet and Freedom I don't want to lose now
Brother, it took getting married at age 53 (she was 5 years younger than me) to realize, if I got in a relationship, I was the biggest part of the problem. At that age i no longer "NEEDED" a woman in the ways I did when I was younger: as a desperate attempt at proving my own self-worth. But by then, i was too set in my ways by then and I began to resent her when she made demands (without providing anything in return except occasional sex).
Many of us are raised brainwashed to think that women are sweet, beautiful, angelic…but they are human and come with flaws of all sorts.
They come with a lot of baggage...
There's a line casually spoken by Angelica Houston in Lonesome Dove where she responds to old flame Gus' praise of her virtue where she simply replies "you'd be surprised"
I came to conclusion that they are ironically exact opposite . They are " bitter " and " devious " at the same time . Prove me wrong
@@sasandadashzadeh-x8h these women would throw their own kids under the bus for their own self gain. Look at how they are willing to have kids with an old man just for child support. That kid will most likely not have a father before the age of 10. But she’s getting child support, so who cares. Red Flag: Plus any woman willing to do an abortion is killing off a part of herself. Look into how abortions are actually done. Keep your legs closed and think before you do and you won’t be put into such a situation.
It's the perfect example of wolf in sheep's clothing basically.
Going through a separation right now and your videos are a godsend. Love this content and it really resonates with me, especially the part about her changing from the person i once knew and loved. Thank you sir!
I think it helps when you know that other guys have gone through something similar. And when you can see that the person you married is not the person that you are with today it makes it much easier to end the marriage.
@john-griffin Thank you John for helping me with Dad advice I never recieved.
If it's her idea to separate, NEVER GO BACK.
No woman will ever take accountability for their actions. They act on their emotions and feelings and as a result logic has left the building....
Hmm, this particular gender ain't the best candidate for US Presidency it seems
Nothing is their fault because of distorted perception. Frankly, it's like you are dealing with a psychotic person. Their brains are simply distorted. They go in and out of psychosis. No reason, mo pattern. Bizarre.
What great insight! You’re absolutely right that the girl you had was completely invested in the relationship, but she changed her mind and now wants out. She has become a different person. The girl I loved is now gone. It took me years to come to this realization after my first love broke up with me. This perspective helped me move on from her. It’s refreshing to hear another guy express this. Thank you!
I'm 67 and never married. Been through quite a few women living here in southern california. The main thing I learned years ago was men fall in love, not women. That's the basis of it all.
SoCal is a Hades pit for finding decent women unless you are a pro / semi-pro level pick-up artist, in which case it’s probably pretty good terrain for pump-N-dump.
One hundred percent correct.
I recognize now that all women have a shelf life. It is not in their nature to do the”till death do we part” and all social media did was expose it. I only rent now.
Yup, men fall in love woman fall in business.
Except men are great shakes either. Most never fall in love with what's important: their life, and Jesus.
It takes a very strong-willed gentleman in order to cohabitate. I've tried cohabitating in the past and only lasted a few weeks. My exes seemed to all be anti-peace. They always wanted problems.
American women are trained from cradle to grave that being rebellious is what it means to be a female.
😂 tried it once against my better judgement. They don’t like peace. That’s boring to them
I have lived with 5 women. Each had a different situation but the result was the same. I would rather she keep her place and I keep mine and we get together when it is convenient. The only companion I will live with moving forward is a dog.
Never show them any weakness, do not give them any reigns under any circumstance, do not be that stupid ‘vulnerable’ with them. They must only see strength and power from you 👊
The vast majority of women are Relationship Traders, not Relationship Investors. And we all know only 1% of stock traders are successful in the market. It's similar in the relationship market.
I never thought of it that way before. Great analogy.
😂😂 to the moon aswell!.
These women all must be into wallsteeetbets
Good analogy.
A few weeks ago I was looking at some old pictures that I took of my wife when we were first dating. I was under no illusions that this happy, healthy and sensual woman was long gone and she's never coming back. Whenever I find myself thinking back to those happier times, I accepted some time ago that the man I used to be is dead as well. However, the way I see it is that he needed to die so that I could open my eyes and accept the many mistakes I made in picking the wrong girl and getting married. Now that my eyes are open, I can see the path forward to finding a new purpose without a lazy and nasty person holding me back from my true potential.
Well said!
Excellent observations. Hypergamy is very real and social media just facilitates the myriad of choices for these women. When you hear, 'i'm not happy,' it's a wrap bro. Thanks for the well done vids JG. Glad you're channel is growing.
Once she mentions divorce or that she is not happy start looking for a divorce attorney and start protecting you assets. Your marriage is over. It might take days or years but it over.
its funny too cause they were happy enough until the found their next "shiny new object" then they convince themselves that they're "unhappy" as justification to leave.
It’s been carved on stone from the beginning of time, “seven year itch of a beach” meaning after seven years of marriage they get bored and want a divorce and this more true today than ever before. So kings never get married.
The years before divorce happens is not good enough to be called marriage. So the time should be shorter than 7.
Don't become a slave to women for a piece of ass. I've been with enough of them to know it's a waste of time. Relationships NEVER last no matter how much effort you put into them.
My thoughts exactly! When are men finally going to accept this about women?
I think you have to match their energy and let them do more and then when they decide to leave, you're already in that mindset of " okay it's time to go"
Exactly. Caught heaps of them over the years, often much younger. The catch was never as good as the chase after a few months. Bachelor life is be$t … 😎
Especially if she’s genuinely attractive. Almost 0% chance she’ll stay forever lol
@@GBU61The Simps and Cucks never will...untill they are broke homeless sleeping in their cars and for some six feet under...then some learn. But dont expect the schools or Big Daddy Government to teach these lessons.
Your idea for when they change and leave, to consider them as dead makes sense. Because, as you implied, the woman you fell in love with is gone. She may still be on the planet physically, but the personality that attracted you changed/evolved/devolved, no longer exists, and probably wont/can't return. Framing the situation this way can provide some solace. Thank you.
Women & men are wired differently. He works off logic, she lives off emotion. Her emotions alone, will take your life on a ridiculous rollercoaster ride, based on her desires & selfishness. Remember for some women, it's all about them over you. She will want you to execute, commit, and sacrifice yourself to make her happy; just make sure she is also doing the work on her side of the fence. If you don't see that, don't waste your time, dump her & find someone who appreciates you.
Us women also feel a deep need to belong, be accepted by friends, family, peer group. Fear of being alone, acceptance from the group. I watch this channel to understand a man’s perspective. You are right about the reactivity. Not looking so much into the future.
She's not yours, it's just your turn.
That is exactly why signing a marriage CON-tract is a Scam 😊
To understand how a woman thinks imagine a man and then take away reason and accountability.
As Good As It Gets:)
There should be quotation marks around that line ;-)
There's a line from the early 2000's TV series "Deadwood", which takes place in the mid-1800's during the Gold Rush time. It is two men talking, and it goes something like this:
"I'd rather try to lassoo the fking moon & pull it down to earth than try to figure out the mind of a woman."
Nailed it. Thank you for your channel. Just discovered it today & I'm hooked. 🙏🏻
Thank you so much. It gives me peace to know that I am not the only one who has gone through this experience. ❤
Women are a waste of time and money. Don't bother.
John, you are crushing it with Truth and value to everyone who watches! Thank you!
John, I'll wait here safely on the outside while you go in there. Good luck.
A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 6 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here , I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her .
The struggle to release someone dear to your heart is undeniably arduous. I empathize, having experienced a similar circumstance when my 6 year relationship concluded. Refusing to accept defeat, I pursued every conceivable avenue to reclaim his affection. Eventually, I sought the assistance of a spiritual counselor, whose wisdom and intervention played a pivotal role in reuniting us.
Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with her?
Suzanne Ann Walters is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for her ability to reunite you with your former partner.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online.
Never go back. Move on.
My ex totally destroyed my life. I can't seem to get over it. Still in shock! Can any other guys out there relate to this?
I think all men over a certain age can relate to this on some way. NEVER lose sight of hobbies, your job / career / business, and if you have kids - love them and foster good relationships with them. That’s all that matters in life anyway. Women sap your time, energy, emotions, and your money.
37 years I spent living with woman, 18 years married then 5 years and 13 years relationships never hurt any of them and provided well even raised 3 kids that wasn't mine, all flipped out and left, my wife died 2 year's later chasing the guy she left us for other had a kid with a loser and last a nervous break down when I wouldn't take her back, l don't try anymore
❤❤❤❤
You should be very proud of yourself John Griffin. Your videos..
Thanks, I’m glad you’re finding them useful. Talking these things through actually helps. Give me clarity as well.
@@john-griffin plus I love the production quality of the hiking and the pups and the drone. It’s really cool. Good choices
“Monkey Branching” happens a lot especially these days!
Perceived options in their head.
And usually they’re not even “trading up” but are being fooled by the dopamine release of a new experience/guy. They are drug addicts and love the honeymoon feeling
It's funny how 17 years ago,before I got married, I would have thought you really didn't like women. Now, divorcing after 17 years, I so get it. Betrayal, not just to me, but to the kids and every other commitment surrounding marriage is so sad and a decision I sure can't understand.
The instinct to find the perceived Alpha Chad is strong as an industrial magnet when they are young to middle aged, and as they reach maybe 60, if they don't directly need the current husband financially, they'd just as soon live alone if you could read their mind. Thats when the hoarding, or romance novels, or blocked gutters really begins. 😅😅😅
I'm right there with you. 15 years married before D day. I stopped trying to figure out what happened, it just got me more agitated. This is because I thought I was doing everything right.
Now single, I am at piece and without the anxiety worrying whether she is happy or not. Now I just make sure I'm happy and that is so much better.
As a young man who has experienced the cruel nature of women i finally understand why older men always tell me not to get involved with women. Their only goal is to extract resources from you before they get bored. No marriage no problems. Its too bad that this is how our society is going to fall apart.
I graduated from High School in 1958 and half of my class was married that summer. Within a year all the guys told me "Don't get married" so I took their advice.
Taking that advice has worked well for me. A 1950s woman is no different than a 2020s woman. Women react to feelings and emotions. Men live with reality and common sense.
I’m 54 and am seeing this so clearly now.
I look back now and realize every girl I have dated had one way or another to extract money from me. I have had five girlfriends that worked full time trying to get me to buy a house with them “together”. Four of the five had never even owned a house. Luckily I passed on all attempts. Had I done this, I would have had to buy the house twice.
If you want to ruin your life be miserable and broke get married. If you want to have a great life be happy and save money. Stay single. It really is that simple.
@supersteve8305 I love that all these older men are sharing so many gems for the 20 yr olds and late 30s like myself who feel I missed out on something important in life. I dodge a bullet and got sober and stopped porn mostly too.
Women are creatures of emotion and whatever they feel they will justify mentally. A girl friend told me only about 20 percent of women love their husbands and the rest will do a risk benefit assessment of how goodlooking the new guy is verses how much they have to lose if their husband leaves. This is compounded by the court system which rewards them if they divorce.
Wow, she let you in on the dirty little secret huh? That’s scary.
I suspect female attraction is only as high as 20% during the engagement period. By the wedding day it’s already below 20%. Men disgust them… even Chad and Ray Ray.
@@WildMidwest1and they disgust me
@@WildMidwest1 Right. Each time you cater to them, they lose a chunk of respect for you. So by the time of the wedding day, you are already hanging on by a thread.
30 % of “fathers “ are unknowingly raising kids that are not theirs.
I must say.. you have a very pleasant voice to listen to. No "uhhs" or fillers as well.. Good stuff John
To many drugs are taken today with the majority of women today to really understand what is going on upstairs of a woman. It has changed over the last 4 decades and men too are now being told to take drugs for things we dont need. My ex wife told me she needed to take her antidepressant, because if she did not, she would be nuts. Unfortunately she told me that after two years of marriage, we seperated on the third year.
So avoid women that take mental meds thanks
This is a very good point that is rarely talked about. My wife takes prescription meds for "mental health issues" and after being around her for some years I don't think there is anything wrong with her brain. She's just an extremely lazy person with low self esteem who lacks the discipline needed to be a functional adult. A good diet and exercise routine would do wonders for her mental health and would most likely allow her to toss her meds. But I've given up trying to guide her towards this, once I'm gone she'll have to discover this on her own.
Sorry to hear. My ex wife had three kids and was completely lazy and did no parrenting. When i had left as i raised them for almost 8 years, they took over the house. She had no seniority or adult control and as a step dad, i also had non and they wanted me out of the house. The ex wife is a 9.5 on pretty and has no problem taking men home at any bar any night if that is what she wants. But her meds were a solution in her brain. Same with her oldes kid. She would put him on any drug they would perscribe and i would do reasearch on those and attempt to discuss the side effects and then he would get another drug to combat those side effects. Sad thing is, my ex was a navy wife and could get any drug she wanted as we were both in the healthfield and knew how to play the system. I do not take any drugs prescribed that is. But sorry to here you are coming to possibly and end of you union, but we all have to k ow when to tap out. My first wife went nuts and needed meds , but did not take them. So i have seen both sides.😊@ItalNico
Besides all official divorces. Just imagine how many people that are still married on the paper due to economy/kids/religious views but lives entirely in separate homes. Next stop, divorce I guess.
True. I would venture to say that only 20% of married couples are still in love with each other. The rest are just living like roomates
Men act /do. Women react/receive.
Yep
vvomen take take take.
And that's why women are incapable of changing their behavior. They react automatically to their emotions. The only way their behavior changes is if they are forced to do so.
Point blank! Exactly.
Men give while women take - exactly!
An easy way to think about it is women are playing chess while men are playing checkers. The most valuable piece on the board is the King but he can only move one space. The queen can move anywhere on the board and can do the most damage. But it is the king who holds all the ultimate power since the goal is to capture him to win the game.
MEN ARE THE ACTUAL PRIZE.
I listened to all my married friends from my High School days and 30+ years after when they told me to "stay single."
However, at the age of 52, I met an accomplished retired woman in her 50s who had no children and was never married.
Before we tied the knot we set personal boundaries and we both set up a prenup. We never had a fight, just disagreements and she made no demands of me or my time.
We both had the same religion and interests, traveled the world together, and enjoyed each other's company and friends. She died a heroic death from cancer in 2020 but gave me 27 years of great memories, fun, and love. So my point is it can be done, but you have to find an exceptional woman ... and be a man she admires and trusts.
5%
So my point is you too can hit the lottery, but you have to walk into the right store at the perfect time... and pick the winning scratch-off ticket.
Lest you wear out your elbow patting yourself on the back, please try to understand that you got lucky - not in getting her, after all she was a menopausal childless spinster. Rather, your fortune lies in the fact that cancer ate her before she decided that she was too good for you, whereupon she'd have commenced the misery and/or monkey branching that 99% of the other gentlemen in the comments have detailed... (edit) or at least before you could find out about it.
That observation “If you can find a woman with some courage, maybe you can settle down with her” is spot on. Alternatively you can try to find a woman with no friends in a country that doesn’t undermine men. A lot of all female gatherings are just like those camp fire, horror story telling get togethers where city slickers afraid of the dark try to scare each other. They magnify each other’s fears.
When you say “that woman is gone” is literary true, especially after menopause kicks in. It is physically a different brain. Freud wrote on this matter: “quarrelsome, vexatious and overbearing.”
You guys are late, I stopped dealing with women 20 years ago.
I honestly believe they really don't like men, we're just a means to an end.
Just about every couple I meet the guy is way more into the woman.
I also say that women have very low sex drives, that's why sex stops after the marriage and kids.
Men want to get laid, women want to get paid.
I've been saying the same thing for years. Men want women, while women need men. Once that need has been satisfied, he is routinely shown the door.
@@kchall5: So true. Now that I think about it, the overwhelming majority of women are practicing prostitution in one way or another.
Well in the modern world (built by men) they don't really need us, outside of emergency/disaster type situations. Between tech, infrastructure and the government it's all covered. Sets up a rather bleak outlook for society.
The brain of a woman, as of a man, is always changing. The brain of a young woman is to get done by good genes, she desires to have the best inside her. As time goes by, as she ages, she desires more and more material things, luxury, properties, power, money to make her life easier. There is time for everything under the Sun. As you said, we die from time to time. Women change all the time and she will do the things that it is better for her, it doesn´t matter who she hurts, she will always do things only for her benefit.
@@eliseuhackbarth7003 so true you nailed it
Essentially it is self preservation mechanism.
Hey John, thank you for this video. I’ve studied-or rather, I’ve tried to understand-women over the past 10 years, intellectually, philosophically, and emotionally. Long story short, women are craving the mythical man, the real man. Given the society we live in, and how it has transformed into something more feminized and more infantile, men have begun to change, becoming more and more like girlfriends, if I may put it that way.
The two key things I’ve discovered are, first, that women are addicted to emotion-specifically, to the variation of emotion. Even if a woman has everything, she will perceive it as a flat line. She won’t feel fulfilled and will seek out more chaos or roller coasters in her emotions. For her, things need to move and change in order for her to find reconciliation. Women thrive on the variation of emotion, not on emotional stagnation. Any predictability is seen as boring, equating to death in their perception.
Lastly, I believe women are in search of a sort of mythical man they can’t find in modern society. Modern society breeds men who are more like friends, collaborators, weak, lacking backbone, and afraid of their masculinity. That’s the world we live in. Thank you again.
Good comment
I have had similar thoughts about some mythical man that they are looking for, I agree.
That’s a good one, John.
Logic vs emotion.
I’ve been saying that “women’s intuition” is really just a fear response. Because they’ll say their “intuition” told them not to trust something or someone. Okay but why doesn’t their “intuition” tell them who they CAN trust?
@@mrmoe110 their ideal fantasy that you create for them is what they latch their trust onto - they don’t live in our world that man built they live in the fantasy world that you create for them - the moment the fantasy goes away which is due to real world events like job changes, loss of income, less time spent with them because you have to handle your own shit, is when they believe the fantasy is no longer real
I have been married to my husband over 35 years and I love hanging out with men. No drama....they live in the moment and most are pretty chill, very logical, people pleasing people. Most of my friends have also been married just as long or longer. What I have noticed about the women that are still married is, they don't take everything their husband does or says personally.
Yes! I agree. I love hanging out with my husband. We do a lot of sports together and have the best conversations about what’s going on in this crazy world.
@@LadyJane222 Oh yes same here!
A man thinks "I want that. I need that. I've got to have that. What do I have to do to get it?"
A woman thinks "I want that. I need that. I've got to have that. Who can I get to get it for me?"
Chris Rock.
Perfect explanation
How does that old song go….”if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get another girl to marry you.”
I can't imagine living in a constant sea of fear and anxiety in such a complex world. Emotions will completely envelope your decision 99% of the time so much so you become immune to peace and quiet like something is lurking in the corner......it must be a touch place to be in.
Explains why they identify with the toxic, unpredictable and chaotic guy.
Your best lecture my man thank you
Thanks, I really appreciate that
John you're such an astute guy. Plus have heaps of real life understanding to share. I wish I had access to someone like yourself at a young age. Looking back, I bet you do too.
None of my exes gave me any warning before ending the relationships.
Studies have shown that when a woman leaves you - she's been planning it for two years.
@@jacksquat4140 wow
My *FIFTEEN* year old nephew turned me on to your content. Can you imagine how successful Gen Alpha is going to be if they're learning this stuff in HS?!
I see it in the gym already, the young men put no pass on the attention seeking girls.
That’s Gen Z
@MzAqua You misunderstood what I said. I said Gen Alpha because that's the generation that's going to learn from Gen Z. If the avg Gen Zer grasps this knowledge at at 20 something, imagine how early Gen Alpha is going to get it. We might be red pilled kindergartens
@@GreatPoss111 Please tell your nephew he is very very lucky to be able to access men's accumulated experience at such young age and that he should soak up as much as is sensible timewise, take it seriously, and ultimately make his own conclusions in time and in turn pass them on.
Lucky they are
Another great video.Any women who leaves and wants to try again has just learnt the grass isnt greener.If the man has no options he may take her back.I didn't
My mother would have aborted me if the state had been allowing her to at that time. I would have been a murder victim. She told me so when I was 20. Abortion isn't about rape victims. It's about women wanting to play fast and loose with the responsibility nature has given them. God doesn't have to punish us. Our society will eventually die out because of it.
Wom3n are born with a million dollars if they are pretty. But if they don't play their cards right in their 20s, the wall is coming for them in their 30s. And then it's a lonely life with boxed wine, head meds, and cats.
Men have to earn their value through grit, perseverance, and overcoming. Often times we don't peak until our 40s. But if you make it there, got your finances in order, your health, your mentality, and you're in good physical shape... life is good! You are now a high value man, free from the tyranny of marriage, free to live your life on YOUR terms. It's a blessing.
Getting there 37 minimal cc debt and average 7 to 8 k a month and thankfully not attracted to women very much.
John, another great video, thank you! I am going to watch this again. I wanted to point out something additional from patterns of divorces I seen, including mine. There appears to be 2 points in time that women absolutely lose their handle on things: 1. When the marriage hits the 20 year mark (Mine at 21) or when the woman turns 40 (mine 41). I have observed this many times, but didn't put 2 and 2 together until it happened to me. Of course there is the loss of sex after the second child and so forth, but this is earlier in the marriage. And as you said, you can't let her get bored and that is Sooo true. Regarding your observations about the female amygdala and their fear response and FOMO, this is another eye opening observation right in front of our noses. What I wanted to add additionally , though, is that I have very recently heard on the channel "Happy Wife School" ( a female vlogger) that women go through neuro-chemical changes in the brain at about 40 years of age. According to the HWS Vlogger, women cannot understand what is happening in their heads, so they blame their man, as it MUST be his fault . Food for thought. Keep up the good work!
@@ThomasLincoln-ng5lz I sa that HWS video too. Mine had extreme attitude changes around 40 as well.
My ex met me in divorce court for our first hearing on our twentieth anniversary day. She said the date was just a coincidence. Blue pill as I was, I took her to coffee afterward and discussed how we would handle the children.
She cleaned me out. Nearly six years and a couple LTRs later I am still in recovery. 😢 I almost never think about her. It’s been 100% no-contact since the kids turned 18. No woman will ever gain that kind of leverage over me again. I am getting better at kicking them to the curb at the first sign of disrespect.
Perimenopause.
@@WildMidwest1glad to hear that
Those are excellent insights. Obviously lessons learned from experience are the ones we don’t forget. Thanks.
Excellent video! And spot on!
Glad you enjoyed it
When people give you everything, and you never struggle to succeed to have anything. You’re an egotistical monster, and have no idea of the way the world actually is. To give these people political power is insane
Pretty women die twice.
Thank you.. That is wisdom I have not heard before. I was lucky that I had a woman that shared a common goal with me. We were farmers. We were together until she died from cancer
Thanks
16:35 "she was bored" /"gets bored easily" yea man that's a major red flag for me. I ask a lot of women that and when they say yes they get bored easily, I mentally place them as "good time, not a long time, there's others in line" 😂
I came to that conclusion as well. My ex wife is not the woman I married. I don't know who that woman is. Be aware that they are always working on figuring you out...never be too perdictable. To be honest never put them first and never cohabitate.
This is the definition of a bad boy.
Freud tried to understand women, so did every other philosopher. They all gave up, basically called them children. Which they generally are.
I can't like this video enough. It's like you watched my marriage and explained exactly what happened. Thanks
I have it on VHS. Glad you like it.
If the divorce switch is flipped on. Just leave her alone at that point. Work on yourself. If you start going out of your way to make her happy and everything perfect it will be seen as a negative in her eyes. Kind of a too little too late; even if you weren't the problem.
Sure wish this channel was available back in 2004 when my ex hit me with the “ I want a divorce” thing after 23 years Would have been a lifesaver Keep up the good work brother , you’re doing Gods work
Thank you, I have been divorced for 23 years & this video brought me more clarity about it.
John your rite. The internet and Facebook creates a false life for people and they feel like there missing out. I've seen many act like monkeys swinging from one branch to another dating apps make this so easy for them always looking for the next best thing.
FOMO is a massive factor for them.
*They’re in their house over there … 😉
Excellent!......maybe your best work yet...
Remember Stephen Hawking the modern day Einstein? Frozen in a wheelchair, head cocked to one side, spoke thru a computer?
He would give talks to huge crowds, just his self, rolled out onto an empty stage.
During one such occasion, hushed crowd, he opened by saying 'The universe is not understood.....but someday it will be'.
Next he said ...'But the mind of a woman will never be understood'
I realized then, that if the smartest man in the world couldn't figure 'em out there's
no hope for the rest of us!
His body didn't work right but he still could think yet he didn't believe.in a Creator
0:32 seconds in and this is frightening, great video for Halloween 🦇.
Two books that have helped me: The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine M.D. and The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar.
Maybe the words "I'm here to help you" would work better than ignoring or trying to persuade. I learned this on a SCUBA diving course learning how to rescue a panicked diver at the water surface. Do not immediately swim to the panicked diver because they will grab hold of you and do anything to get themselves out of the water including pushing you down below the water. Instead approach them but keep more than an arms length away and say very clearly to them as they plash around and gasp in panic I'M HERE TO HELP YOU. And then do not approach them face to face but circle them to approach them from behind to grab them and pull them back to shore or the boat.
Yes the brave and adventurous woman may be a lifelong partner to an adventurous and brave man. For me the damsel in distress is not an attractor but a trigger. Help the damsel but do not stick around. The good Samaritan helped the injured man as he could but the very next day he departed; he did not stay to care for the injured man.
The tie clip bar story was really insightful. Made sense. I wont forget that.
Me neither and it's so true most women might just want you bcuz of safety or validation like, I've experienced the fear part they start by saying I was in a toxic relationship always so believe all women at your own risk
My funny epiphany was that in Beauty and the Beast the story, the woman is represented by Beauty and the man is represented by Beast. Based on what I know now, it's really women who are the beasts that change and get emotional, and men are beauty.
Let it go 22:00, well said
I’ve experienced it all. The hypergamy, the monkey branching, irrationality, and illogical thought about everything. In a word, they’re all insane. John said it. They’re nuts.