You hit the nail on the head about the loneliness thing. Women really do experience loneliness. But for men, it’s usually just boredom. Men just need to find something to do.
I was home on a Friday night feeling lonely and a little sad, It then hit me that I was playing the victim. I grabbed my keys and went to my daughter's house for dinner and had the best time with my young grandsons.
Women generally don't have hobbies. Not hobbies they are passionate about anyway... their hobby is chasing the best man via their hypergamy. Men can fill their entire lives with surfing, sailing, exploring, hiking, climbing, fixing things, learning new skills etc
It’s also why women are never single. They’re usually serial daters, serial monogamous, monkey branchers etc.. they also usually don’t end a relationship unless they have the next monkey branch ready to go
I am a 57 yr old bachelor. And you nailed it. I love women, but I will not expose myself to that level of liability, legally/financially. Divorce courts are littered with carcasses of righteous men who thought they were doing the "right" thing, only to be held hostage by lawyers and the corrupt divorce court industrial complex. I feel blessed/thankful for my liberty. Thanks for the powerful message, John!
I have a married friend who has three kids, he constantly envies me that I date different girls, travel and buy new trucks. He is very unhappy and always complains about things he wants to buy, but his wife and kids spend it all.
About to turn 40 in a few months. Never married, no kids. I used to feel really sad about not matching with anyone but not anymore. Glad I found this channel as it’s making me realize I have it really good. I have my own house, live with my dog, and have a great career where I get to work from home. No drama. I feel inspired, motivated and self sufficient and this video makes me realize that’s a great place to be at the age of 40! Thanks for your content! It’s been helpful. Cheers!
I am a bachelor and I will never take my personal autonomy for granted again. In the past, I lived with women, and the loss of that independence was a significant change for me. I found it to be constricting and felt it wasn't worth the trade-off.
In this time and age, you are absolutely correct. Back in the recent history, being married translated into building together and could provide a better life for all. These days... That work ethic and values no longer exist and the "self" has been uplifted above all. And unfortunately for society, women are the ones that are the worst at the solipsism and self ways. So the old ways do not work anymore.
Having been a bachelor briefly (until 23), married for 25 years and single again for a year now, single life is better for me. That said, I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. There are benefits to marriage. But you give up a LOT. Outside of starting a family, I would never recommend marriage, official or "unofficial", in today's society.
Dating is like taking a test drive of a car. Getting married is like buying the car and finding out it’s as expensive as hell to run and maintain! That’s why I never got married! I’m single, independent and satisfied with my life! Happy holidays!
Happy holidays as well, it’s nice going to family events and seeing all the stressed out couples knowing you can leave when you want and go to your nice warm bed and stretch out
This Forever Bachelor approves this message!! Best decision of my life was not getting married. Golfed yesterday and walked the 18 and that was after lifting weights in the gym. I have $$ and my freedom. I've always been happy. Timmy C Arizona
At age 45, in 2010, MGTOW and The Red Pill woke me up big time. Have remained single ever since. Will never give a woman power in or over my life again.
John you are so right about women having the ability to burn through money. I am a born-again bachelor now but was married to a miserable Connecticut rich girl for 25 years and during that time she ran me ragged trying to please her with spending money and filling that void within her. I am so happy she's gone now
Spending money and filling that void. Excellent point. I went through it too. The wife thought jumping in bed with a dirtbag would give her validation. I helped her pack her stuff. She tried coming back two months later. I said No.
Those of us who have been married know you speak truth. But some bachelors will die not believing you. Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.
7:30 Spot on! After marriage there are 3 truths: attention is their oxygen, validation is their currency, accountability is their kryptonite. I read that somewhere and it’s spot on
No, when you get married THEY become the client, and you're the service provider charged with satisfying their needs in the hopes of garnering "repeat business".
Actually, my experience was as an employee. And the boss wasn’t as smart as the worker. Not throwing shade, she was the emotional one, I was the logical one
Where were you when I got married 14 years ago? I'm now divorced for almost 6 years, but you are speaking the absolute truth, brother! If only content like this existed back then, I never would have gotten married. Keep up the good work in waking young men up, sir. And I hope that you and your family have a wonderful holiday season.
Not here in the UK. They discover that it means he'll never allow her to control, use, or emasculate him, and it's immediately over and she goes off to find a spineless simp who she can do that to. That's a woman's base requirement to date. All the bachelors I know don't date purely because of that. They'll initially attract women, then she'll leave when she discovers she can't CUE. Conversely, the men I know who do date are being controlled, used, and emasculated. They somehow seem to enjoy it or they're blind to it.
John, once again, you put a big smile on my face. She left and my life is not just better, but awesome! The day I walked out of divorce court was like walking out of a prison with the big heavy gates closing with a thud behind me, with beautiful sunshine and green meadows surrounding me. It was grated a surprise pardon, 8 years before my sentence was done, meaning my youngest turned 18. It was the greatest gift I could have received. I was freed and nothing could feel greater.
Ever since I've been divorced I've been able to get my nutrition in check a lot easier, I decide the protein meals for the week turned the basement into a home gym and do pretty much whatever I want without having to tippy toe around the house to appease her. Certainly do miss sharing some things with this person and it's still hard to cope with it but it's getting better with time. Narcissists put a spell on you.
Truth, I was married to a Narcissist for 34 years. It nearly killed me. I finally had the sense to eject. It cost major $$, but it was worth it. As we all know the legal system sucks. I do what I want now and my Girlfriend is 24 years younger and actually loves and respects me. I told her up front though, at the first sign of any problems I will be gone immediately! Won't ever make the same mistake again. I would rather be alone than hanging out and being abused by a woman. Life is great now, as good or better than when I was young and single.
I can definitely relate to your experiences. Were we twins separated at birth? My GF now, is 28 years younger, beautiful, and we have an agreement to never get married.
Almost 60 never been married. Seeing the hell men have been through, the disloyalty and hedonism of my ex girlfriends and bullshit my married brother and brother in law have gone through, I don't regret it one bit.
Best advice on TH-cam for men. As a widower, married for 30yrs, I can identify with all the ways my dear wife was ruining our great marriage. Of course I took it upon myself to compensate the last 10 years while biting my tongue. With the help of you John, I now have found closure , forgiven her and I’m having a great 2nd life now at 61. These videos are fun and packed full of astute advice. I am 2 years deep in single life bliss with many pastimes , friends, better health, sleeping well and looking forward to spending loads of money on kids, good causes and myself. Wish you good times and great health from Ireland John.
The question I've been asking my entire adult life is what are the benefits of a relationship? I've been in many and never found any benefits. It's always been debt, drama, and disrespect.
4 years after going through the divorce grinder my loneliness has turned into peace and solitude. I actually enjoy my own company and being content with simple things. If you ever feel lonely think about all the drama that has been deleted for you.
I needed to hear this. I'm accomplishing things and experiencing life on a deeper level than I would if I were tied down to a woman. I've always been a bachelor. I love my freedom.
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They used to say “happy wife= happy life But it’s really “NO wife= happier life!”
When I was younger I was just following my biology I never had a clue what I was getting into. With the knowledge I have now about female nature I would stay single. I would only want my son. Guys stay single if you value your life
Once a man reaches 50, he looks around and asks himself if there is a woman that exists who isn’t already divorced, is debt free, on medication and/or emotionally damaged to the point that he would want to take the risk? Men have enough of their own issues to deal with at it is. Then I am supposed to take on even more baggage than I already have by adding all her issues as well?
I figured out in my late 20s that they weren't all they're cracked up to be, and then the narcissism epidemic took over where run through single mothers suddenly thought tbey were God's gift to humanity and needed to be simped over.
I'm not letting my fear of a cold bed override my love of a quiet home. A woman will bring nothing of value to my life that I cant get at the bunny ranch.
If your moral or religious beliefs do not exist or stop you from cohabitating without marriage I reckon the occasional bunny ranch gig makes sense and tbh you'll get better sex there than you would in a marriage ! Also the lady concerned will want to please you so you'll come back ?!
Please don’t stop making these videos. You have a way of articulating exactly what all of us married men know, but just keep inside. I’ve been married 27 years and have grown kids and am trapped inside this prison. Just knowing I’m not the only one in this situation is comforting.
The best move I ever made was being a bachelor. I made significant moves across cities and countries to pursue my career. Along the way I met some wonderful women of all walks of life and travelled the world. I'm now in my mid 30s , earn a high 6 figures and work only half of the year. One of the things I noted about any relationship I'm in is that women start to change after 2 years. the change is subtle, but they start to withhold intimacy more, demand more and give less. I think that's a result of taking a relationship for granted or thinking since they secured me, they don't have to work at it anymore. That's when I cut bait and move on. I saw what marriage does to people. Without exception, it sucks the soul out of them slowly over a long period of time. I'm not casting off marriage completely, but I'm not desperate for it, and I am for sure not going to be with someone who doesn't check off all of my list. If I don't find that person, I am happy living life the way I do now.
John, Many people fall in to this trap thinking if a guy is alone, there wont be anyobody to take care of him in his old age, what happens if you get an accident or fell sick, people are afraid of dying alone in the death bed, nobody to say good bye and that forces many men to get stuck in shity relationship that will kill them everyday.The video will be complete if you illuminate the ignorants that this fear is unfounded, truth is that everybody dies alone with or without anyone because its a personal experience and best life is to live a life with no regrets and not staying in bad relationship for decades that was corroding.
@@JohnFRambo I get that so more the older I get. Personally, I would feel much more at peace dying because I wore my body out than stress from other people. Alot of people don't feel that way though.
The whole dying with your family surrounding you is largely a myth it really happens. Most people die in their own beds or in a hospital bed, unconscious. If the only reason you’re getting married is that some woman is at sometime in the future, gonna be kneeling beside your bed, holding your hand, as you drift off, you are living in a fantasy world. First of all, you’re not likely to be married to that woman by the time you shuffle off. In fact, she will probably be so indifferent or so hostile that the only thing she will actually be happy about is that you are dead. If that’s your goal, get a girlfriend. She’s just as likely to be there is any wife. The exception being your kids but these days even the chances of that are low. Not because of malice, but because of the way life or in this case that works?
Another great video John ! Found your channel a little while ago and I can’t express enough how insightful and helpful you have been. Thanks so much my guy!
I've grown more than I could ever imagine and done more things that I wanted to do that now the quality of life and my happiness is so much better than it ever was in the stagnation of being married.. marriage is a comfortable death for men.
Long hair, bearded Alaskan, nomad, Bob Wells, author, plus years old, creator of Cheap RV Living, divorced with 2 adult children says he will not get married again. Bob is doing great work helping others as nomads across the world....Whooooottttttt
We cooked out here boss. 34 , no kids , no woman, I work construction and still live at home with mom. I literally can’t afford dating, and I see friends maybe once or twice a month if that…. I wish women were humble like they grandmothers in 1950 🙁 now days you gotta make 100k a year for a woman to even shoe her “feminine” side , I mean think about that 😢 I’m done .
If a woman lets you know that you don’t make enough money, consider that a gift. Too many women out there want to benefit from a relationship. Being asked how much money you make on the first date is a Deal Breaker.
Women, in general, lack character & integrity as it relates to commitment & faithfulness. I can't count the number of times women have attempted to monkey branch onto me while married or in a committed relationship. I just can't trust them. Shalom
you’re absolutely right, as a man when you’re married everyone else’s entitlements needs come first. Whether that’s going out for Sunday lunch or the bills or where we going on vacation you’re absolutely right. The wife and kids come first and the husband comes somewhere after all that everybody’s needs come prior emotionally and financially
So many truth bombs in what John discusses here makes this one of his best. I’ve never found a woman that has ever let me be my authentic self. They always try to control and change you. I agree with John that you’ll never really know what she is like while dating them. It can take 3 years after marrying them before their true self emerges. Never again for me.
I have some sort of X-ray or time travel vision that I see exactly what the future married woman is going to be like in the first few minutes of talking to them. They will start their manipulation tactics, test for disrespect and so on within 30 minutes of getting to know them, sometimes it comes out within 10 minutes. It's why I don't get back to them when they give me their number. The last time I met a woman who didn't do any of this and I could stand to be around and enjoy her company and didn't have attitude and didn't test was back in 2000.
It's always eye-opening how cold and cruel some women can be even in their old age. Watched women after 40+ years of marriage divorce and let their former husbands die alone in a nursing home. Might as well been a bachelor.
I was raised by my Hungarian Grandparents. In non-Western parts of Europe years ago, married men continued their relationships and hobbies with their childhood boy siblings, cousins and friends. Similarly, the wives did also, with their female siblings, cousins and friends. Most people these days don't even have cousins. But anyway. Marriages were not prison sentences of only the wives' acquaintances and family, or whomever she approved of. Or what school district you must live in. Or what career she prefers you to be or stay in. This is total BS in the West. My grandparents didn't need to "be there" constantly for each other. Just a dinner together after my Grandfather returned from work and on Sunday after-church meals. Period. He worked, she kept the home organized. We didn't even own a vehicle b/c he took the train to work and my Grandmother and I took a city bus everywhere or walked. America is too spend-oriented. Too in need of conveniences. Too worried if someone sees you in the same dress next week. Trust me, no one of any character and common sense judges you on how often they saw you in that outfit. We have a serious consumer problem here, both in fashion, gadgets, and the amount of (and quality of) food we eat in America. Even the trashy people have a thousand ridiculously trashy outfits that are at least 3 sizes too small to begin with.
Because I can watch this video in peace and quiet w/o someone breathing down my neck. And watch football all day on the couch. Honestly, thousands of reasons why . . .
I gave her my commitment 12 years ago, because I thought she deserved it. I thought she was "the one". Fast forward 10 years and 3 children, and she divorced me; broke apart our home and family. I signed the papers last month after 2 years of hell. Don't do it young men.
It’s like a cruel trick. You start this journey with all the hope and benevolent wishes in the world and then you get the worst nightmare you could imagine. I don’t know how they do it.
@@john-griffin Delusional with wild fantasies that the grass is greener on the other side. I went through it too. I watched the ex-wife self destruct. I was not going to clean up her foolishness. She will never learn.
Getting divorced Dec 28th. So many emotions. I’ve been a stay at home dad for 5 years. So she’s paying me alimony, equity in house, and half of what our account holds. Nothing bitter or angry, very amicable. She just doesn’t want to be married anymore. She seems totally emotionless while I have to fight tears a lot. It hurts. But I’ll see the kids a lot. It won’t be much different for them. I’m moving just a few blocks over. I figured it out and over the next two years she will be paying me $80,000, plus $30,000 in alimony for 3 years after that. And she wants this over fast (probably another guy) so she’s fine paying me that much to go away lol like that might hurt most of all but it’s also very nice. So many mixed feelings 🤦♂️
@@JayS-j9d dont have emotions. God is the ruler of this world. Honesty and good will is rewarded naturally by the lord. be though brother!! I will pray for you now, before going to sleep. Praise the lord and may god bless you ! Be the king!
John, you are a blessing to us. Thanks man for having the courage and the emotional labour and effort that it took to speak about what many of us need to hear and listen to. Glad I found this channel ☀️
Young men LISTEN to this message! At 53 my life is so boring! 2x married and an 11yr old kid has left me broke, living check to check, no retirement. Forever connected to "baby mama". At least in 7 years I can give them the BOOT and hopefully have some health left to enjoy my 60's.....
Damn bro I’m sorry. Mid 40’s here and I hear you loud n clear. I sincerely hope you can enjoy your 50’s and 60’s. Married twice still in my 2nd and it is not easy. Women being little value to a man who can truly stand on his own two feet.
The notion that you won’t be a complete or a real man without a wife and kids is powerful in most cultures. However in America a young man must discern what is best for himself. America is in moral decline. That’s why.
Yes, bachelorhood is very good (I've never married) but see your previous video about narcissism. There isn't a woman to meet who isn't like that and hasn't been for the past 25 years so dating has been out of tbe question for that long.
@ 4:51 My mother loves to spend money on crap, and she's 72..... I showed her how to save money monthly and when to go buy food so that it's cheaper, and it goes in one ear and out the other. W-omen never change.....
Marriage is a construct that has been pushed on men through the Matrix. I am happy to be someone who has not been influenced easily in such a way. From a very young age, I've seen through EVERY movie that pushes this. For example, let's use the movie Pretty Woman. Even when I was 15 years old I wondered, on WHAT planet, would a 40-ish year-old rich businessman wife up a prostitute when he has all of the options in the world? Even at 15 I knew this movie was written by a woman. Always look at HOW the Matrix is trying to influence you. Usually doing the opposite is the way to go.
Men and women have had to work for thousands of years together to ensure the success and survival of the species. Just because we are experimenting with radical philosophies like communism, feminism, fascism, etc over the last hundred years does not change this historical fact that men and women need to work together (regardless of whether they are married or dating or friends).
Was married from ages 31-35. Really enjoyed being a husband, but looking back...can see why she left. At 41, all there will be is work, dog and family/friends. Thought I wanted kids, but that was just a desire imparted onto me from family. Certainly wouldn't talk a young man out of getting married, as long as they meet the criteria John mentioned in this video. But, you still never know what you'll get until married for a few years.
A family system/culture/religion is a strong force and has a lot to do with the pressure for some young men to get married. Don't let others use guilt/shame/pressure and manipulation tactics for such an important life decision. Many are threatened by a single mans freedom and independence.
Gentlem im 28 , I'm here not because im divorced but because ive learned alot from you and to be honest i believed in the fairy tale because of R&B music , Im an artist my self and i make this gynocentric music but i see beyond the lie , im not getting married the music keeps me busy
Man such a good video. Im in such a weird spot right now. Mid 20s, i live in the west and am a son of immigrants. In our culture, its almost unthinkable to just stay alone and not have kids. My parents often talk to me about when i want to marry and i honestly dont know if i have the guts to push through and just tell them that i dont want this kind of life. Either i do that or i go into this whole marriage and children thing, wich is hard to imagine for me. I get bored so quickly with women, its like we are so disconnected, having this whole feminine energy around me all the time drives me crazy after a while. I really dont look forward to move in with a woman. I just dont like them that much, im hetero and definetly want to date but having one woman around me that i have to take care of, behave in a certain way around, cut off my freedom and all, sounds like a nightmare. The older i get, the more does this romance/love facade dissappear for me. They are just people to me, people i often dont get along with. And even if i do, it just gets so tiring after a while. The positive thing is, there are many traditional women in my culture who stay virgin and all, but as you said, one day the dynamic will probably change and it wont be like the beginning. In the end, they are women, and women come with certain traits that are super annoying to me. If i was from a western culture with western parents, im sure i would just f*ck it all and be bachelor forever. But im definetly in a tricky situation right now. I want to make my parents happy, they deserve to be, but it doesnt sound smart to make such fundamental life decisions solely based on how your parents would feel. Do you have any tips for me? Im kinda lost in life right now because of this
Anybody who judges you for not getting married and not wanting to bring kids into this world, is just jealous because you have the freedom to do what you want and they don't.⛓
Think of yourself as a railway company. You build the tracks and drive the train. A woman that's "on board" with that is a keeper, one that isn't will put you in the "haze".
Agree to some extent especially for younger men and the quality and types of women in their age bracket now. Interacting with these modern women lets me know what 'ball busters' they are in their natural way of being! Not so for me, I've always been able to pursue my interests which may have involved my wife or not. I clearly remember her saying "So what's the next adventure we're going on" She has never been a burden in these adventures if she wanted to participate. So lots of great memories together as we settle into our advancing years. Other things she was not into I did by myself or with buddies. For us it worked but I realize I kind of set the parameters from the beginning and she came along for the ride as a willing and able participant. Old school relationship definitely that would more than likely not even exist today. It's fascinating to watch from the sidelines. Great insight regarding loneliness as a result of boredom and lack of creative goal setting. The old "get a life' applies to that way of self inflicted misery.
i am so amazed at this camera flying DRONE.. how it can fly thru the forest without hitting any branches.. How does it record the sound without picking up the noise of the propellas ?.. these are things , TOYS that you can afford to buy if you remain SINGLE..... SINGLE = TOYS.
Case in point. I rode motorcycles in the Alps with some buddies for a week. Why was it a week? They were married. All of us would have rather spent 3 weeks riding... but, their wives would not have been ok with that. So, I spent the extra week I had in Munich with my brother and his family and enjoyed another Oktoberfest. For about 10 years I alternated between Oktoberfest and Vegas. Every year, in the fall, I was in either Munich or Las Vegas with my buddies. Can't do that with a wife.
Imagine what is for a responsible and smart men to put up with all this. They have more to lose than to gain within a marriage. In fact they don't need an wife to give them trouble. Maybe that is why I have always been single for 38 years so far
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You hit the nail on the head about the loneliness thing. Women really do experience loneliness. But for men, it’s usually just boredom. Men just need to find something to do.
I was home on a Friday night feeling lonely and a little sad, It then hit me that I was playing the victim. I grabbed my keys and went to my daughter's house for dinner and had the best time with my young grandsons.
Completely agree
Very true. I'm never lonely but must keep myself busy in every waking moment or I immediately get bored. Dreams keep me busy in my sleep, too.
Women generally don't have hobbies. Not hobbies they are passionate about anyway... their hobby is chasing the best man via their hypergamy.
Men can fill their entire lives with surfing, sailing, exploring, hiking, climbing, fixing things, learning new skills etc
It’s also why women are never single. They’re usually serial daters, serial monogamous, monkey branchers etc.. they also usually don’t end a relationship unless they have the next monkey branch ready to go
I am a 57 yr old bachelor. And you nailed it. I love women, but I will not expose myself to that level of liability, legally/financially. Divorce courts are littered with carcasses of righteous men who thought they were doing the "right" thing, only to be held hostage by lawyers and the corrupt divorce court industrial complex. I feel blessed/thankful for my liberty. Thanks for the powerful message, John!
A lot of men are hopeless romantics that many times think divorced won't happen to them.
I have a married friend who has three kids, he constantly envies me that I date different girls, travel and buy new trucks. He is very unhappy and always complains about things he wants to buy, but his wife and kids spend it all.
About to turn 40 in a few months. Never married, no kids. I used to feel really sad about not matching with anyone but not anymore. Glad I found this channel as it’s making me realize I have it really good. I have my own house, live with my dog, and have a great career where I get to work from home. No drama. I feel inspired, motivated and self sufficient and this video makes me realize that’s a great place to be at the age of 40! Thanks for your content! It’s been helpful. Cheers!
Same. I remember feeling depressed when I was younger. But now, seeing everything going on...I realize it's been a blessing in disguise.
I am a bachelor and I will never take my personal autonomy for granted again. In the past, I lived with women, and the loss of that independence was a significant change for me. I found it to be constricting and felt it wasn't worth the trade-off.
In this time and age, you are absolutely correct. Back in the recent history, being married translated into building together and could provide a better life for all. These days... That work ethic and values no longer exist and the "self" has been uplifted above all. And unfortunately for society, women are the ones that are the worst at the solipsism and self ways. So the old ways do not work anymore.
Having been a bachelor briefly (until 23), married for 25 years and single again for a year now, single life is better for me.
That said, I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. There are benefits to marriage. But you give up a LOT. Outside of starting a family, I would never recommend marriage, official or "unofficial", in today's society.
Dating is like taking a test drive of a car. Getting married is like buying the car and finding out it’s as expensive as hell to run and maintain! That’s why I never got married! I’m single, independent and satisfied with my life! Happy holidays!
Glory
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Happy holidays as well, it’s nice going to family events and seeing all the stressed out couples knowing you can leave when you want and go to your nice warm bed and stretch out
Even girlfriends suck now.
Like getting a part time job.
@@dasdguy7606like being a therapist 24/7 especially these days
@@dasdguy7606 And marriage is not a word it's a sentence, as the ol' joke goes.
If you're lucky...
@@JediDarkForce most of them are on head meds too
This Forever Bachelor approves this message!! Best decision of my life was not getting married. Golfed yesterday and walked the 18 and that was after lifting weights in the gym. I have $$ and my freedom. I've always been happy. Timmy C Arizona
At age 45, in 2010, MGTOW and The Red Pill woke me up big time. Have remained single ever since. Will never give a woman power in or over my life again.
The Red Pill and MGTOW community saved my sanity.
John you are so right about women having the ability to burn through money. I am a born-again bachelor now but was married to a miserable Connecticut rich girl for 25 years and during that time she ran me ragged trying to please her with spending money and filling that void within her. I am so happy she's gone now
Spending money and filling that void. Excellent point. I went through it too. The wife thought jumping in bed with a dirtbag would give her validation. I helped her pack her stuff. She tried coming back two months later. I said No.
@@racebannon96 why do they always think they can come back after something like that? 😂 They’re so delusional
Those of us who have been married know you speak truth. But some bachelors will die not believing you. Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.
Exactly right
And sometimes you forget what you had (money and autonomy) until you get divorced. 😅
@@IFYOUWANTITGOGETITAbsolutely! And I was more autonomous than most husbands when I was married.
7:30 Spot on! After marriage there are 3 truths: attention is their oxygen, validation is their currency, accountability is their kryptonite. I read that somewhere and it’s spot on
"the prison of marriage" John dropping truth bombs again!
When you’re dating you’re a prospect.
When you’re married, you’re a client…
Too true !
No, when you get married THEY become the client, and you're the service provider charged with satisfying their needs in the hopes of garnering "repeat business".
Actually, my experience was as an employee. And the boss wasn’t as smart as the worker. Not throwing shade, she was the emotional one, I was the logical one
Where were you when I got married 14 years ago? I'm now divorced for almost 6 years, but you are speaking the absolute truth, brother! If only content like this existed back then, I never would have gotten married. Keep up the good work in waking young men up, sir. And I hope that you and your family have a wonderful holiday season.
The comment about women being more attracted to you when you don't need them and hold on to your bachelorhood is 100% true. Sad but true.
Not here in the UK. They discover that it means he'll never allow her to control, use, or emasculate him, and it's immediately over and she goes off to find a spineless simp who she can do that to. That's a woman's base requirement to date. All the bachelors I know don't date purely because of that. They'll initially attract women, then she'll leave when she discovers she can't CUE. Conversely, the men I know who do date are being controlled, used, and emasculated. They somehow seem to enjoy it or they're blind to it.
John, once again, you put a big smile on my face. She left and my life is not just better, but awesome!
The day I walked out of divorce court was like walking out of a prison with the big heavy gates closing with a thud behind me, with beautiful sunshine and green meadows surrounding me.
It was grated a surprise pardon, 8 years before my sentence was done, meaning my youngest turned 18.
It was the greatest gift I could have received. I was freed and nothing could feel greater.
Sounds like the end to Shawshank Redemption:)
Ever since I've been divorced I've been able to get my nutrition in check a lot easier, I decide the protein meals for the week turned the basement into a home gym and do pretty much whatever I want without having to tippy toe around the house to appease her. Certainly do miss sharing some things with this person and it's still hard to cope with it but it's getting better with time. Narcissists put a spell on you.
Truth, I was married to a Narcissist for 34 years. It nearly killed me. I finally had the sense to eject. It cost major $$, but it was worth it. As we all know the legal system sucks. I do what I want now and my Girlfriend is 24 years younger and actually loves and respects me. I told her up front though, at the first sign of any problems I will be gone immediately! Won't ever make the same mistake again. I would rather be alone than hanging out and being abused by a woman. Life is great now, as good or better than when I was young and single.
I can definitely relate to your experiences. Were we twins separated at birth? My GF now, is 28 years younger, beautiful, and we have an agreement to never get married.
Bro you nailed it 😉
Same for me, 31 wasted years
The point of marriage is children and stability.
That's all gone... There is no social stigma for cheating or divorcing....
Almost 60 never been married. Seeing the hell men have been through, the disloyalty and hedonism of my ex girlfriends and bullshit my married brother and brother in law have gone through, I don't regret it one bit.
Best advice on TH-cam for men. As a widower, married for 30yrs, I can identify with all the ways my dear wife was ruining our great marriage. Of course I took it upon myself to compensate the last 10 years while biting my tongue. With the help of you John, I now have found closure , forgiven her and I’m having a great 2nd life now at 61. These videos are fun and packed full of astute advice. I am 2 years deep in single life bliss with many pastimes , friends, better health, sleeping well and looking forward to spending loads of money on kids, good causes and myself. Wish you good times and great health from Ireland John.
The question I've been asking my entire adult life is what are the benefits of a relationship? I've been in many and never found any benefits. It's always been debt, drama, and disrespect.
You are not alone.
4 years after going through the divorce grinder my loneliness has turned into peace and solitude. I actually enjoy my own company and being content with simple things. If you ever feel lonely think about all the drama that has been deleted for you.
I needed to hear this. I'm accomplishing things and experiencing life on a deeper level than I would if I were tied down to a woman. I've always been a bachelor. I love my freedom.
They used to say “happy wife= happy life
But it’s really “NO wife= happier life!”
When I was younger I was just following my biology I never had a clue what I was getting into.
With the knowledge I have now about female nature I would stay single. I would only want my son.
Guys stay single if you value your life
Once a man reaches 50, he looks around and asks himself if there is a woman that exists who isn’t already divorced, is debt free, on medication and/or emotionally damaged to the point that he would want to take the risk? Men have enough of their own issues to deal with at it is. Then I am supposed to take on even more baggage than I already have by adding all her issues as well?
When I reached 40, I asked the same questions. The answers are why I remained single.
I figured out in my late 20s that they weren't all they're cracked up to be, and then the narcissism epidemic took over where run through single mothers suddenly thought tbey were God's gift to humanity and needed to be simped over.
Well said. A lot of these women need 24/7 supervision. It is exhausting.
I'm not letting my fear of a cold bed override my love of a quiet home. A woman will bring nothing of value to my life that I cant get at the bunny ranch.
If your moral or religious beliefs do not exist or stop you from cohabitating without marriage I reckon the occasional bunny ranch gig makes sense and tbh you'll get better sex there than you would in a marriage ! Also the lady concerned will want to
please you so you'll come back ?!
Try felt/flannel sheets. Makes it super easy sleeping alone as a bachelor
10 lb felt asian blankets!
First day in divorce court tomorrow brothers. 🍻
Congrats on the new life
Don’t ever do it again !!!
Congratulations! It always gets worse before it gets better.
Pay what you gotta pay. You are free now
Celebrate! They should have divorce parties!
Please don’t stop making these videos. You have a way of articulating exactly what all of us married men know, but just keep inside. I’ve been married 27 years and have grown kids and am trapped inside this prison. Just knowing I’m not the only one in this situation is comforting.
The best move I ever made was being a bachelor. I made significant moves across cities and countries to pursue my career. Along the way I met some wonderful women of all walks of life and travelled the world. I'm now in my mid 30s , earn a high 6 figures and work only half of the year. One of the things I noted about any relationship I'm in is that women start to change after 2 years. the change is subtle, but they start to withhold intimacy more, demand more and give less. I think that's a result of taking a relationship for granted or thinking since they secured me, they don't have to work at it anymore. That's when I cut bait and move on. I saw what marriage does to people. Without exception, it sucks the soul out of them slowly over a long period of time. I'm not casting off marriage completely, but I'm not desperate for it, and I am for sure not going to be with someone who doesn't check off all of my list. If I don't find that person, I am happy living life the way I do now.
John, Many people fall in to this trap thinking if a guy is alone, there wont be anyobody to take care of him in his old age, what happens if you get an accident or fell sick, people are afraid of dying alone in the death bed, nobody to say good bye and that forces many men to get stuck in shity relationship that will kill them everyday.The video will be complete if you illuminate the ignorants that this fear is unfounded, truth is that everybody dies alone with or without anyone because its a personal experience and best life is to live a life with no regrets and not staying in bad relationship for decades that was corroding.
Thanks
@@JohnFRambo I get that so more the older I get. Personally, I would feel much more at peace dying because I wore my body out than stress from other people. Alot of people don't feel that way though.
The whole dying with your family surrounding you is largely a myth it really happens. Most people die in their own beds or in a hospital bed, unconscious. If the only reason you’re getting married is that some woman is at sometime in the future, gonna be kneeling beside your bed, holding your hand, as you drift off, you are living in a fantasy world. First of all, you’re not likely to be married to that woman by the time you shuffle off. In fact, she will probably be so indifferent or so hostile that the only thing she will actually be happy about is that you are dead. If that’s your goal, get a girlfriend. She’s just as likely to be there is any wife. The exception being your kids but these days even the chances of that are low. Not because of malice, but because of the way life or in this case that works?
Another great video John ! Found your channel a little while ago and I can’t express enough how insightful and helpful you have been. Thanks so much my guy!
I provided for my family as the sole breadwinner and in her gratitude after 10 years my ex started sleeping with her friends' husbands. Plural.
Wow
@john-griffin Been divorced now about as long as I was married, almost 17 years. Never again, John.
Self sufficient and Independent… the foundation of a great life. Thanks as always.
I appreciate it. Thanks
I've grown more than I could ever imagine and done more things that I wanted to do that now the quality of life and my happiness is so much better than it ever was in the stagnation of being married.. marriage is a comfortable death for men.
I'm not lonely; I am leavemalonely.
Haha!
Long hair, bearded Alaskan, nomad, Bob Wells, author, plus years old, creator of Cheap RV Living, divorced with 2 adult children says he will not get married again. Bob is doing great work helping others as nomads across the world....Whooooottttttt
I grieved internally the day that my older brother got married. I knew I would lose a part of our relationship forever…
i came home at 1am from a sporting event with no one blowing up my phone. amazing feeling.😊
We cooked out here boss. 34 , no kids , no woman, I work construction and still live at home with mom. I literally can’t afford dating, and I see friends maybe once or twice a month if that…. I wish women were humble like they grandmothers in 1950 🙁 now days you gotta make 100k a year for a woman to even shoe her “feminine” side , I mean think about that 😢
I’m done .
Well stated
It's much more in today's economy. No mam can afford a stay at home wife unless you are hyper rich
@@JediDarkForce well stated
If a woman lets you know that you don’t make enough money, consider that a gift. Too many women out there want to benefit from a relationship. Being asked how much money you make on the first date is a Deal Breaker.
@@racebannon96 they plan it all ahead ie what cars will be driven what zip code area what schools and finally the payout after the divorce
I love the brevity and dead pan humour of this Channel. Very nice work!
Thanks
The story that men cannot be happy without a wife is just a batch o' lore.
Well stated.
batch o' lure
Children! I want children! Not going to happen now that I'm 56. Sigh.
Women, in general, lack character & integrity as it relates to commitment & faithfulness. I can't count the number of times women have attempted to monkey branch onto me while married or in a committed relationship. I just can't trust them. Shalom
John, your videos are amazing. Thx!
you’re absolutely right, as a man when you’re married everyone else’s entitlements needs come first. Whether that’s going out for Sunday lunch or the bills or where we going on vacation you’re absolutely right. The wife and kids come first and the husband comes somewhere after all that everybody’s needs come prior emotionally and financially
So many truth bombs in what John discusses here makes this one of his best. I’ve never found a woman that has ever let me be my authentic self. They always try to control and change you. I agree with John that you’ll never really know what she is like while dating them. It can take 3 years after marrying them before their true self emerges. Never again for me.
I have some sort of X-ray or time travel vision that I see exactly what the future married woman is going to be like in the first few minutes of talking to them. They will start their manipulation tactics, test for disrespect and so on within 30 minutes of getting to know them, sometimes it comes out within 10 minutes. It's why I don't get back to them when they give me their number. The last time I met a woman who didn't do any of this and I could stand to be around and enjoy her company and didn't have attitude and didn't test was back in 2000.
True words spoken!! Thank u for making this so clear. I’m single & so far loving it!!
It's always eye-opening how cold and cruel some women can be even in their old age. Watched women after 40+ years of marriage divorce and let their former husbands die alone in a nursing home. Might as well been a bachelor.
I was raised by my Hungarian Grandparents. In non-Western parts of Europe years ago, married men continued their relationships and hobbies with their childhood boy siblings, cousins and friends. Similarly, the wives did also, with their female siblings, cousins and friends. Most people these days don't even have cousins. But anyway. Marriages were not prison sentences of only the wives' acquaintances and family, or whomever she approved of. Or what school district you must live in. Or what career she prefers you to be or stay in. This is total BS in the West. My grandparents didn't need to "be there" constantly for each other. Just a dinner together after my Grandfather returned from work and on Sunday after-church meals. Period. He worked, she kept the home organized. We didn't even own a vehicle b/c he took the train to work and my Grandmother and I took a city bus everywhere or walked. America is too spend-oriented. Too in need of conveniences. Too worried if someone sees you in the same dress next week. Trust me, no one of any character and common sense judges you on how often they saw you in that outfit. We have a serious consumer problem here, both in fashion, gadgets, and the amount of (and quality of) food we eat in America. Even the trashy people have a thousand ridiculously trashy outfits that are at least 3 sizes too small to begin with.
I have been single for about 7 years married for 2 before that, wow life is amazing.
Because I can watch this video in peace and quiet w/o someone breathing down my neck.
And watch football all day on the couch.
Honestly, thousands of reasons why . . .
Thank you, John!
The theripst is in session! 👍👍
I’m living that bachelor lifestyle right now and it’s wonderful. I go and come as I please.🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤
Perfect
Happy man, the right plan.
you’re missing out if you ain’t read the ebook Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, it breaks it all down
"Keep your commitment in your pocket." I NEED THAT ON A T-SHIRT, JOHN!
Lots of great hobbies & interests are fundamental to have a chance to stay single
Exactly.
Dogs are capable of Love. Women...not so much.
Yet both can bark.
@@charlie64x2 Both smell bad sometimes
I gave her my commitment 12 years ago, because I thought she deserved it. I thought she was "the one". Fast forward 10 years and 3 children, and she divorced me; broke apart our home and family. I signed the papers last month after 2 years of hell. Don't do it young men.
It’s like a cruel trick. You start this journey with all the hope and benevolent wishes in the world and then you get the worst nightmare you could imagine. I don’t know how they do it.
@@john-griffin Delusional with wild fantasies that the grass is greener on the other side. I went through it too. I watched the ex-wife self destruct. I was not going to clean up her foolishness. She will never learn.
I love your content! Keep them coming. You're the most realist! Thanks!
Thanks! I appreciate it.
Once you commit, you lose your shit.
Liking the new jacket John !
Getting divorced Dec 28th. So many emotions. I’ve been a stay at home dad for 5 years. So she’s paying me alimony, equity in house, and half of what our account holds. Nothing bitter or angry, very amicable. She just doesn’t want to be married anymore. She seems totally emotionless while I have to fight tears a lot. It hurts. But I’ll see the kids a lot. It won’t be much different for them. I’m moving just a few blocks over. I figured it out and over the next two years she will be paying me $80,000, plus $30,000 in alimony for 3 years after that. And she wants this over fast (probably another guy) so she’s fine paying me that much to go away lol like that might hurt most of all but it’s also very nice. So many mixed feelings 🤦♂️
@@JayS-j9d dont have emotions. God is the ruler of this world. Honesty and good will is rewarded naturally by the lord. be though brother!! I will pray for you now, before going to sleep. Praise the lord and may god bless you ! Be the king!
Damn, you are definitely the exception! My divorce was just the opposite. Yes on their lack of empathy, cold as ice, it is unreal
John, you are a blessing to us. Thanks man for having the courage and the emotional labour and effort that it took to speak about what many of us need to hear and listen to. Glad I found this channel ☀️
46yo bachelor here. I’ve had two LTR’s end when I refused the marriage ultimatum. I view relationships as chapters.
Sooner or later, The Love Drug produces a massive, horrifying hangover.
Another benefit is you can spend your free time going for a walk out in nature and have your fun drone toy follow you around.
Young men LISTEN to this message! At 53 my life is so boring! 2x married and an 11yr old kid has left me broke, living check to check, no retirement. Forever connected to "baby mama". At least in 7 years I can give them the BOOT and hopefully have some health left to enjoy my 60's.....
Damn bro I’m sorry. Mid 40’s here and I hear you loud n clear. I sincerely hope you can enjoy your 50’s and 60’s. Married twice still in my 2nd and it is not easy. Women being little value to a man who can truly stand on his own two feet.
The notion that you won’t be a complete or a real man without a wife and kids is powerful in most cultures. However in America a young man must discern what is best for himself. America is in moral decline. That’s why.
Yeah, they beat the crap out of us in the "Olympics for Shopping", true
Yes, bachelorhood is very good (I've never married) but see your previous video about narcissism. There isn't a woman to meet who isn't like that and hasn't been for the past 25 years so dating has been out of tbe question for that long.
@ 4:51
My mother loves to spend money on crap, and she's 72.....
I showed her how to save money monthly and when to go buy food so that it's cheaper, and it goes in one ear and out the other.
W-omen never change.....
Marriage is a construct that has been pushed on men through the Matrix. I am happy to be someone who has not been influenced easily in such a way. From a very young age, I've seen through EVERY movie that pushes this. For example, let's use the movie Pretty Woman. Even when I was 15 years old I wondered, on WHAT planet, would a 40-ish year-old rich businessman wife up a prostitute when he has all of the options in the world? Even at 15 I knew this movie was written by a woman. Always look at HOW the Matrix is trying to influence you. Usually doing the opposite is the way to go.
Usted es un verdadero maestro de esta realidad. Gracias por estos valiosos conocimientos.
Saludos desde suramerica.
Anything is better than being married...period‼️
Men and women have had to work for thousands of years together to ensure the success and survival of the species. Just because we are experimenting with radical philosophies like communism, feminism, fascism, etc over the last hundred years does not change this historical fact that men and women need to work together (regardless of whether they are married or dating or friends).
"Commitment keeps your money distant"
I tried lol
Was married from ages 31-35. Really enjoyed being a husband, but looking back...can see why she left. At 41, all there will be is work, dog and family/friends. Thought I wanted kids, but that was just a desire imparted onto me from family. Certainly wouldn't talk a young man out of getting married, as long as they meet the criteria John mentioned in this video. But, you still never know what you'll get until married for a few years.
Bachelor Age another good textbook to read.
I agree to this.
A family system/culture/religion is a strong force and has a lot to do with the pressure for some young men to get married. Don't let others use guilt/shame/pressure and manipulation tactics for such an important life decision. Many are threatened by a single mans freedom and independence.
True
Gentlem im 28 , I'm here not because im divorced but because ive learned alot from you and to be honest i believed in the fairy tale because of R&B music , Im an artist my self and i make this gynocentric music but i see beyond the lie , im not getting married the music keeps me busy
Man such a good video. Im in such a weird spot right now.
Mid 20s, i live in the west and am a son of immigrants. In our culture, its almost unthinkable to just stay alone and not have kids. My parents often talk to me about when i want to marry and i honestly dont know if i have the guts to push through and just tell them that i dont want this kind of life. Either i do that or i go into this whole marriage and children thing, wich is hard to imagine for me. I get bored so quickly with women, its like we are so disconnected, having this whole feminine energy around me all the time drives me crazy after a while. I really dont look forward to move in with a woman. I just dont like them that much, im hetero and definetly want to date but having one woman around me that i have to take care of, behave in a certain way around, cut off my freedom and all, sounds like a nightmare. The older i get, the more does this romance/love facade dissappear for me. They are just people to me, people i often dont get along with. And even if i do, it just gets so tiring after a while. The positive thing is, there are many traditional women in my culture who stay virgin and all, but as you said, one day the dynamic will probably change and it wont be like the beginning. In the end, they are women, and women come with certain traits that are super annoying to me.
If i was from a western culture with western parents, im sure i would just f*ck it all and be bachelor forever. But im definetly in a tricky situation right now. I want to make my parents happy, they deserve to be, but it doesnt sound smart to make such fundamental life decisions solely based on how your parents would feel.
Do you have any tips for me? Im kinda lost in life right now because of this
Yes, yes, yes... only the time frame is more like 6 months that they begin to change. But otherwise, YES!
It's just choice that one decides to take.
More John Griffin gold right here. John we appreciate your insight.
Anybody who judges you for not getting married and not wanting to bring kids into this world, is just jealous because you have the freedom to do what you want and they don't.⛓
Think of yourself as a railway company. You build the tracks and drive the train. A woman that's "on board" with that is a keeper, one that isn't will put you in the "haze".
The minute you commit, all of your lady friends are going to get blacklisted, and many of your guy friends too...
Agree to some extent especially for younger men and the quality and types of women in their age bracket now. Interacting with these modern women lets me know what 'ball busters' they are in their natural way of being! Not so for me, I've always been able to pursue my interests which may have involved my wife or not. I clearly remember her saying "So what's the next adventure we're going on" She has never been a burden in these adventures if she wanted to participate. So lots of great memories together as we settle into our advancing years. Other things she was not into I did by myself or with buddies. For us it worked but I realize I kind of set the parameters from the beginning and she came along for the ride as a willing and able participant. Old school relationship definitely that would more than likely not even exist today. It's fascinating to watch from the sidelines. Great insight regarding loneliness as a result of boredom and lack of creative goal setting. The old "get a life' applies to that way of self inflicted misery.
Spot on
i am so amazed at this camera flying DRONE.. how it can fly thru the forest without hitting any branches.. How does it record the sound without picking up the noise of the propellas ?.. these are things , TOYS that you can afford to buy if you remain SINGLE..... SINGLE = TOYS.
It doesn't record audio
Case in point. I rode motorcycles in the Alps with some buddies for a week. Why was it a week? They were married. All of us would have rather spent 3 weeks riding... but, their wives would not have been ok with that. So, I spent the extra week I had in Munich with my brother and his family and enjoyed another Oktoberfest. For about 10 years I alternated between Oktoberfest and Vegas. Every year, in the fall, I was in either Munich or Las Vegas with my buddies. Can't do that with a wife.
Thank you for making me appreciate how good I have it. Feel like I’ve dodged a bullet of sorts
You’re welcome!
Imagine what is for a responsible and smart men to put up with all this. They have more to lose than to gain within a marriage. In fact they don't need an wife to give them trouble. Maybe that is why I have always been single for 38 years so far
Exactly right
Peace of mind is #1 ! ☮️🕊️
Bachelor life only works if it's a choice
True