I have struggled with purchasing clothes for my fantasy self and then feeling like I am playing dress-up when I try to wear them. I have been more mindful when this happens and am slowly building a better awareness. This has led me to admiring the item in the store, BUT, resist purchasing it for me. I can’t believe I am only learning this now at 70 years old. Thank you beautiful people for your honest conversation.
For those of us women who are certain age, channeling our fantasy self was often necessary for professional success. We learned to dress for the job we wanted, or dress in a certain way to look the part, or accommodate our imposter syndrome.
You 3 are my favorite influencers. I just through and unsubscribed to many that I follow to decrease the time I spent on TH-cam. Totally knew I had to continue with you 3.
Same here 😊 I have been following Signe since about 2016-17, than Alyssa, and Christina. I am a hungarian woman/ wife /mother, me and my family moved to Germany in 2018 September, 5 years ago.
I have absolutely been shopping for a fantasy self for several years. Teenage me was obsessed with the 50s and Audrey Hepburn. Then I discovered COS and spent most of the last 20years wanting to be a COS Girl... lots of modern cuts etc. This summer I have finally realised I am.just not cool enough lol and I prefer looking feminine, classic and pretty. On retrospect there was a reason why I've kept a forest green full a-line skirt for decades and it was always my go-to Christmas/holiday outfit.. Now embracing this fully!
I think the Fantasy Self might show something you're missing in your life. It's not always about the clothes themselves. Maybe it's also about what the Fantasy Self is doing or feeling in those clothes. Like, if you keep buying sexy high heels and picture yourself having a good time at fancy parties, it might tell you that you simply need more time out of the house. Have date nights, or go out with friends or something. Maybe your life has become boring or maybe you're lonely. Those heels then actually represent social interaction or admiration or something. If you keep buying stuff the Fantasy Self would wear in the country side while you're a city girl, it might tell you that you need to find more peace in nature. So instead of disgarding or declutting the Fantasy Self, you can find out the deeper meaning and push yourself out of your current comfort zone to try what you're longing for.
Very thought provoking podcast. I enjoy being able to be creative with my style at 72 yrs young. I feel so much more confident with developing my style for retirement. It motivates me to stay active and social. No botox for me. My wrinkles are the map of my journey.
My fantasy self led to some purchases that are not practical. Gorgeous expensive sweaters but not warm enough for outerwear in winter yet too warm to wear inside. Suede boots, shoes, bags that have me in terror of rain. Dresses that only heels look good with but I can’t wear heels for very long….. fantasy self is my biggest challenge.
During times of life transition, our expression of self through clothes will change and it is helpful to have the 3 style words. When I survived a serious health crisis and was left with visible impairments, Alyssa’s channel helped me to rebuild my wardrobe. There is a difference between the fantasy self and the self who confronts stereotypes. My words as a 59 year old woman with grey hair who is permanently on oxygen, are ‘visible, engaging and confident’. Alyssa, enjoy your Italian summer, I love the ‘bombshell’ addition to your summer wardrobe as you embrace la dolce vita.
I use to buy things because they were so unique or cute, but they never fit my life or my style. Now I look but before I buy, I reassess and decide if it fits my life and my style.
I actually think that is all about your lifestyle definitely. Like, depending what you do for a living, your environment, your job. Also, depending of the occasion, obviously if you are going to a fancy restaurant you are not going to wear snickers and sweat pants, so…..Yes, pretty simple.
Loved this so much! Lately i got to think about how it is easy to love someone's style if they are beautiful + minimalist + consistent. They can feel effortless and cool, because they are just naturally beautiful, hence don't need to try that hard... (as the rest of us?) To me it feels like the fantasy self is not a product of our fantasy, but rather an amalgam of what we constantly see on influencers or on beautiful stylish people going places. It is hard to stay critical as a consumer. My style got significantly more "me" when I just stopped following many people, started following anonymous street style accounts and started shopping in a physical store, allowing myself to be intuitively attracted to a piece and reach for it on my own.
Liked: inspired by not copying. 1-2 of style words should be tied to personality and/values. Alyssa, there is no way that you need botox or other aesthetic supports. Lovely as you are. Natural, happy and content are more beautiful than any cosmetics.
The "fantasy self" can be part of trying out aspects of our evolving identity through style. Taking photos of things we try on in a shop can be helpful to sort out what styles we like on ourselves, and what feels authentic. Photos for some reason help us to look at things in a different perspective. We can look at the photos at home where it is easier to imagine ourselves in our environment, and whether we would wear the clothes or if they would go with anything else we own and like.
this was exactly what i needed to hear right now, thank you ladies it has been a lightbulb moment for me… it’s ok to be me (whatever that is at any given occasion) 😊
I've had a hard time with style because I am truly eclectic. I love 1950s dresses, 1960s go go boots, 1970s crazy colors, 1980s preppy. I love drama, glitz and also quiet and subdued. I'm often confused! LOL
I love my heels, they are part of my personality. And you wear them beautifully @Alyssa. The 3 of you have been helping me for a long time now. Each one in one different aspect ❤️
First time listen - loved it! I was raised on the ‘dress for the job you want, not the job you have’ philosophy and it can be a struggle with goals and fantasy self. Thanks for sharing your honesty and your experiences.
I really enjoy these discussions. I appreciate all your points of view on things and you all have greatness to bring to the table. Christina I love your openness and raw honesty.
Thank you ladies for a thought provoking discussion. I have an overflowing closet and storage unit with lots of fantasy self clothes. I believe my fantasy self is driven by events I think may happen. I’m recently retired and working on redefining my style to fit my actual lifestyle. Challenging but fun.
Funny that this is the topic this week. I had my colors done a couple of months ago (inspired by SIgne) and have an appointment next week for a style update since I'm having trouble narrowing down my 3 style words.
Interesting..thank you..i think, Alyssa, in another episode you spoke about a psychotherapist..in that realm often discussing your past you tend to break things down and demolish the wall, then rebuild the wall using only the bricks that are necessary important and sometimes new..so Signe mentioned how she went to minimalism and now adds as she grows. That minimalism step is so important..you then are building upon a more authentic foundation...💚
I struggled my whole life comparing myself to others and trying to look like someone else. Got lost in my style after getting married and motherhood. I have a stuffed closet, became a compulsive shopper but after starting to listen to you 3 teach about shopping my closet, about lifestyle does change, that our bodies change and etc, I feel that there is some healing already going on🙏🏽🥹. Aaand I’m learning how to make what I already interesting! Not like, just one thing just for that occasion! Loving the beginning of my journey! ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
Great topic!!! Made me think too. I really like the idea about the maybe pile needing to be revisited more frequently. 🤯 About the maybe it's ok to wear something twice a year & still keep it
Girls I have been listening to all your podcasts since the beginnig and I am so excited whenever Tuesday is near !! 😀 I have been following the 3 of you for years as well and it's awesome to see you together !!!! Your conversations are very interesting ! Thank youuuuuu for beeing so inspiring !
This was fascinating for me. I think every woman has a fantasy self and to use it for good is mind blowing! Guilt of purchases never worn but loved is common for me. Trying to work them into my real life. Thanks!
Listening to this podcast (and your YT channels) has been a fresh of air! Thank you! I'm new to the slow fashion journey. Listening to this episode I realized my fantasy self isn't necessarily about buying new clothes, it's about hanging on to all the old clothes in case I lose the weight and fit into them again. Then when I buy new clothes I feel guilty because I should have lost the weight to fit into the clothes I have.
I love this conversation because I’ve bought things in the past that were so dressy that I thought I would wear and never wore. I’m retired I’m 68 and I don’t go out much so I have a casual but nice classic wardrobe it’s pretty minimal I have still a small closet I only have 20 pairs of shoes which I think is a lot.😊
I can relate to the heels beeing part of a cultural identity and of a beautiful style. Alyssa .....anyway very interrsting you guys. I am a follower of your video the last few years and i love the evolution of you style. ❤
I think that shopping for my fantasy self has been a useful part of figuring out who I really am. It's a learning process. As my wardrobe morphs into a wardrobe I really love and wear, I don't feel that bad about the things that didn't work and that have been passed along. I'm much better now about knowing myself and my style.
I can totally relate to everything you're saying Christina, (as a recovering shopaholic) thank you for sharing. I'm still on the journey to a minimalist closet, sustainable style and authentic me. All of you are so inspirational and a great team for these podcasts, I can relate to all your advice #dreamteam
I shopped for my fantasy self and actually lived that fantasy self life, but that fantasy actually stopped me from experiencing things in life i otherwise would, if it makes any sense. I now want to dress more comfortable and lived in , so i can actually do more things, instead of worrying about my clothes and having to adjust my lifestyle to my clothes and my style
It's ok not to be Anine Bing if you don't have her body type, it's ok not to cut your hear shoulder length if your facial bone structure and cheeks don't compliment that particular style, it's ok not to spend 150€ on a t-shirt while in debt.
I found this podcast yesterday and have binged all the episodes already 😅 I’ve been watching all three of you for awhile now on TH-cam ❤❤❤ Christina, I relate very much with your story!! I have come a very long way in the last 3 years. Here’s one for you though ladies…. I have done really well to get my wardrobe to a place of love for all these clothes and they fit! BUT I don’t know how to put it all together, into actual outfits. I don’t feel confident enough to be the stylish version of myself I want to be… I play dress ups and I have no idea if it looks silly or not 😅 any advice? D x
Just a thought from a 69 yr. old with a very lined face. Please don’t use Botox or alter yourselves. That’s not authentic. I think it’s that simple. And that hard.
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I have struggled with purchasing clothes for my fantasy self and then feeling like I am playing dress-up when I try to wear them. I have been more mindful when this happens and am slowly building a better awareness. This has led me to admiring the item in the store, BUT, resist purchasing it for me. I can’t believe I am only learning this now at 70 years old. Thank you beautiful people for your honest conversation.
me...same
For those of us women who are certain age, channeling our fantasy self was often necessary for professional success. We learned to dress for the job we wanted, or dress in a certain way to look the part, or accommodate our imposter syndrome.
Funny how this podcast came to be. I am following the 3 of you for years now 😂. Love it 🎉
thank you SO MUCH for watching! xx
same here this is amazing🙌🏼🥳
Same here. I follow Christina and then fpund Use Less channel. And after that i found Alyssa too. So yeah, i follow tgese 3 now 😂
You 3 are my favorite influencers. I just through and unsubscribed to many that I follow to decrease the time I spent on TH-cam. Totally knew I had to continue with you 3.
Same here 😊
I have been following Signe since about 2016-17, than Alyssa, and Christina.
I am a hungarian woman/ wife /mother, me and my family moved to Germany in 2018 September, 5 years ago.
I have absolutely been shopping for a fantasy self for several years. Teenage me was obsessed with the 50s and Audrey Hepburn. Then I discovered COS and spent most of the last 20years wanting to be a COS Girl... lots of modern cuts etc. This summer I have finally realised I am.just not cool enough lol and I prefer looking feminine, classic and pretty. On retrospect there was a reason why I've kept a forest green full a-line skirt for decades and it was always my go-to Christmas/holiday outfit..
Now embracing this fully!
I think the Fantasy Self might show something you're missing in your life. It's not always about the clothes themselves. Maybe it's also about what the Fantasy Self is doing or feeling in those clothes. Like, if you keep buying sexy high heels and picture yourself having a good time at fancy parties, it might tell you that you simply need more time out of the house. Have date nights, or go out with friends or something. Maybe your life has become boring or maybe you're lonely. Those heels then actually represent social interaction or admiration or something. If you keep buying stuff the Fantasy Self would wear in the country side while you're a city girl, it might tell you that you need to find more peace in nature. So instead of disgarding or declutting the Fantasy Self, you can find out the deeper meaning and push yourself out of your current comfort zone to try what you're longing for.
Very thought provoking podcast. I enjoy being able to be creative with my style at 72 yrs young. I feel so much more confident with developing my style for retirement. It motivates me to stay active and social. No botox for me. My wrinkles are the map of my journey.
My fantasy self led to some purchases that are not practical. Gorgeous expensive sweaters but not warm enough for outerwear in winter yet too warm to wear inside. Suede boots, shoes, bags that have me in terror of rain. Dresses that only heels look good with but I can’t wear heels for very long….. fantasy self is my biggest challenge.
During times of life transition, our expression of self through clothes will change and it is helpful to have the 3 style words. When I survived a serious health crisis and was left with visible impairments, Alyssa’s channel helped me to rebuild my wardrobe. There is a difference between the fantasy self and the self who confronts stereotypes. My words as a 59 year old woman with grey hair who is permanently on oxygen, are ‘visible, engaging and confident’. Alyssa, enjoy your Italian summer, I love the ‘bombshell’ addition to your summer wardrobe as you embrace la dolce vita.
Thank you for this helpful and interesting comment. Wishing you all the best.
I use to buy things because they were so unique or cute, but they never fit my life or my style. Now I look but before I buy, I reassess and decide if it fits my life and my style.
Cristina is so sensible and emotionally honest in this!
I actually think that is all about your lifestyle definitely. Like, depending what you do for a living, your environment, your job. Also, depending of the occasion, obviously if you are going to a fancy restaurant you are not going to wear snickers and sweat pants, so…..Yes, pretty simple.
Loved this so much!
Lately i got to think about how it is easy to love someone's style if they are beautiful + minimalist + consistent. They can feel effortless and cool, because they are just naturally beautiful, hence don't need to try that hard... (as the rest of us?)
To me it feels like the fantasy self is not a product of our fantasy, but rather an amalgam of what we constantly see on influencers or on beautiful stylish people going places. It is hard to stay critical as a consumer. My style got significantly more "me" when I just stopped following many people, started following anonymous street style accounts and started shopping in a physical store, allowing myself to be intuitively attracted to a piece and reach for it on my own.
I've thought of decorating my bedroom with clothes/shoes that I love but don't want to wear. 😉👠
Liked: inspired by not copying. 1-2 of style words should be tied to personality and/values.
Alyssa, there is no way that you need botox or other aesthetic supports. Lovely as you are. Natural, happy and content are more beautiful than any cosmetics.
The "fantasy self" can be part of trying out aspects of our evolving identity through style. Taking photos of things we try on in a shop can be helpful to sort out what styles we like on ourselves, and what feels authentic. Photos for some reason help us to look at things in a different perspective. We can look at the photos at home where it is easier to imagine ourselves in our environment, and whether we would wear the clothes or if they would go with anything else we own and like.
Christina, I love how you open up and share even if it makes you vulnerable. So many of us relate.
this was exactly what i needed to hear right now, thank you ladies it has been a lightbulb moment for me… it’s ok to be me (whatever that is at any given occasion) 😊
I've had a hard time with style because I am truly eclectic. I love 1950s dresses, 1960s go go boots, 1970s crazy colors, 1980s preppy. I love drama, glitz and also quiet and subdued. I'm often confused! LOL
I love my heels, they are part of my personality. And you wear them beautifully @Alyssa. The 3 of you have been helping me for a long time now. Each one in one different aspect ❤️
First time listen - loved it! I was raised on the ‘dress for the job you want, not the job you have’ philosophy and it can be a struggle with goals and fantasy self. Thanks for sharing your honesty and your experiences.
I really enjoy these discussions. I appreciate all your points of view on things and you all have greatness to bring to the table. Christina I love your openness and raw honesty.
Thank you ladies for a thought provoking discussion. I have an overflowing closet and storage unit with lots of fantasy self clothes. I believe my fantasy self is driven by events I think may happen. I’m recently retired and working on redefining my style to fit my actual lifestyle. Challenging but fun.
The part about your fantasy self supressing who you really are hit hard. Thank you for getting vulnerable and sharing that.
Funny that this is the topic this week. I had my colors done a couple of months ago (inspired by SIgne) and have an appointment next week for a style update since I'm having trouble narrowing down my 3 style words.
Fantasy self suppressing your true self, yes, resonates deeply
Interesting..thank you..i think, Alyssa, in another episode you spoke about a psychotherapist..in that realm often discussing your past you tend to break things down and demolish the wall, then rebuild the wall using only the bricks that are necessary important and sometimes new..so Signe mentioned how she went to minimalism and now adds as she grows. That minimalism step is so important..you then are building upon a more authentic foundation...💚
I struggled my whole life comparing myself to others and trying to look like someone else. Got lost in my style after getting married and motherhood. I have a stuffed closet, became a compulsive shopper but after starting to listen to you 3 teach about shopping my closet, about lifestyle does change, that our bodies change and etc, I feel that there is some healing already going on🙏🏽🥹. Aaand I’m learning how to make what I already interesting! Not like, just one thing just for that occasion! Loving the beginning of my journey! ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
Great topic!!! Made me think too. I really like the idea about the maybe pile needing to be revisited more frequently. 🤯 About the maybe it's ok to wear something twice a year & still keep it
Girls I have been listening to all your podcasts since the beginnig and I am so excited whenever Tuesday is near !! 😀 I have been following the 3 of you for years as well and it's awesome to see you together !!!! Your conversations are very interesting ! Thank youuuuuu for beeing so inspiring !
I clicked so fast! What a great topic; looking forward to your insights! ❤
yayyyy so glad you liked the topic! xx
This was fascinating for me. I think every woman has a fantasy self and to use it for good is mind blowing! Guilt of purchases never worn but loved is common for me. Trying to work them into my real life. Thanks!
Listening to this podcast (and your YT channels) has been a fresh of air! Thank you! I'm new to the slow fashion journey. Listening to this episode I realized my fantasy self isn't necessarily about buying new clothes, it's about hanging on to all the old clothes in case I lose the weight and fit into them again. Then when I buy new clothes I feel guilty because I should have lost the weight to fit into the clothes I have.
I love this conversation because I’ve bought things in the past that were so dressy that I thought I would wear and never wore. I’m retired I’m 68 and I don’t go out much so I have a casual but nice classic wardrobe it’s pretty minimal I have still a small closet I only have 20 pairs of shoes which I think is a lot.😊
Im catching up...gosh i love these conversations with you ladies. 🖤
My 3 fave slow fashion peeps in one place!
I can relate to the heels beeing part of a cultural identity and of a beautiful style. Alyssa .....anyway very interrsting you guys. I am a follower of your video the last few years and i love the evolution of you style. ❤
Awesome podcast collaboration. I follow you all on TH-cam and enjoy your input and videos too. Will you be having any live podcasts to ask questions?
Oooh fun idea! ❤
I think that shopping for my fantasy self has been a useful part of figuring out who I really am. It's a learning process. As my wardrobe morphs into a wardrobe I really love and wear, I don't feel that bad about the things that didn't work and that have been passed along. I'm much better now about knowing myself and my style.
Very powerful.
Awesome! ❤👏👏
I can totally relate to everything you're saying Christina, (as a recovering shopaholic) thank you for sharing. I'm still on the journey to a minimalist closet, sustainable style and authentic me. All of you are so inspirational and a great team for these podcasts, I can relate to all your advice #dreamteam
I shopped for my fantasy self and actually lived that fantasy self life, but that fantasy actually stopped me from experiencing things in life i otherwise would, if it makes any sense. I now want to dress more comfortable and lived in , so i can actually do more things, instead of worrying about my clothes and having to adjust my lifestyle to my clothes and my style
❤️it
thank youuuu xx
love it
It's ok not to be Anine Bing if you don't have her body type, it's ok not to cut your hear shoulder length if your facial bone structure and cheeks don't compliment that particular style, it's ok not to spend 150€ on a t-shirt while in debt.
I love the Tibi chill modern classic aesthetic, but when I put on a sweatshirt that would fit a humpback whale, I just feel silly.
I found this podcast yesterday and have binged all the episodes already 😅 I’ve been watching all three of you for awhile now on TH-cam ❤❤❤
Christina, I relate very much with your story!! I have come a very long way in the last 3 years.
Here’s one for you though ladies…. I have done really well to get my wardrobe to a place of love for all these clothes and they fit!
BUT I don’t know how to put it all together, into actual outfits. I don’t feel confident enough to be the stylish version of myself I want to be… I play dress ups and I have no idea if it looks silly or not 😅 any advice?
D x
I think maybe our real lives are suppressing our fantasy selves! 😂 Maybe take the fantasies as clues to what you might pursue in life. 😉?
Sorry not sure of name is the blonde a summer color person?
Signe Hansen, I think. Yes, I think she typed herself as a soft summer.
Just a thought from a 69 yr. old with a very lined face. Please don’t use Botox or alter yourselves. That’s not authentic. I think it’s that simple. And that hard.