The Link Between Personal Style and Identity | Molly Bingaman | TEDxUMKC

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ม.ค. 2021
  • Molly Bingaman has a passion for helping people see their true beauty. She founded Ladybird Styling in 2010 with the bold intent of changing the way people see themselves, their style, and their world. Through merging the language of design with elements from math and physics, she and her team of experts have created a radical new approach to styling which teaches clients to choose the clothes, hairstyle, and makeup that best represent who they are. The Ladybird method has given hundreds of women the tools to show up authentically in their wardrobes and in their lives. It has been thoroughly tested, it works every time, and is completely teachable. Molly has a BA in Fine Art from Westmont College in Santa Barbara, CA and was trained by Stacy London of TLC’s What Not to Wear. Her work has been featured in Design*Sponge and Good Housekeeping Magazine as well as many other local publications. She is married and lives in Kanas City, MO with her husband and perfect dog, Piccollo. Molly Bingaman has a passion for helping people see their true beauty. She founded Ladybird Styling in 2010 with the bold intent of changing the way people see themselves, their style, and their world.
    Through merging the language of design with elements from math and physics, she and her team of experts have created a radical new approach to styling which teaches clients to choose the clothes, hairstyle, and makeup that best represent who they are. The Ladybird method has given hundreds of women the tools to show up authentically in their wardrobes and in their lives. It has been thoroughly tested, it works every time, and is completely teachable.
    Molly has a BA in Fine Art from Westmont College in Santa Barbara, CA and was trained by Stacy London of TLC’s What Not to Wear. Her work has been featured in Design*Sponge and Good Housekeeping Magazine as well as many other local publications. She is married and lives in Kanas City, MO with her husband and perfect dog, Piccollo. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

ความคิดเห็น • 730

  • @elisarichter157
    @elisarichter157 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1840

    I had a teacher for Glas pearl making at vocational school, who once said :"Jewelry is not a luxury requirement. It is a basic requirement. Because people in all cultures, no matter how poor they might be, are making and wearing jewelry. Even if you only have some blades of Gras to work with. It seems to be a basic need for humans to decorate themselves as an expression of self valuing."

    • @Deem57
      @Deem57 2 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      Jewelry is also a basic need for humans to decorate the ones they love as an expression of their relationship.

    • @lynnmckenna9934
      @lynnmckenna9934 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      In the midst of earthquakes, fires, or violence, no one is making jewelry out of of grass. I am not speaking of poverty, I am speaking of safety,

    • @elisarichter157
      @elisarichter157 2 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      @@lynnmckenna9934 sure, in the middle of a catastrophe other things are more important than making jewelry. If you look at poor countries, you will notice, that even people who live in extreme poverty sometimes make jewelry out of things like plastic waste. Maybe it's also a question of how you define basic needs. Is it important for peoples entire life span or the basic things that you need to survive within an extreme catastrophic situation. Maybe jewelry has more to do with mental basic needs like being valued and loved than with physical basic needs. As the other comment said, it is also a sign of friendship. This might be relevant in a war, when you can't be with your loved ones. You carry their gifts to feel close to them.

    • @jennyp4934
      @jennyp4934 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Wow! I think I'll go out and buy myself a beautiful bracelet.

    • @SomeLauraChick
      @SomeLauraChick 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@elisarichter157 Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs in action

  • @VITALSPARKMEDIA
    @VITALSPARKMEDIA 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2076

    “The question is not whether you have style, it’s if it’s being expressed.” This could be applied to many things: creativity, compassion, intelligence, humor, etc. What a fun talk.

    • @lt7587
      @lt7587 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Well said!

    • @Sbannmarie
      @Sbannmarie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Well stated

    • @ai.experiments
      @ai.experiments 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Is it possible to have style without it being expressed?

    • @feelinguru-vywiththepaingu9808
      @feelinguru-vywiththepaingu9808 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@ai.experiments Definitely, when you express a style that isn't authentic to you it looks like you have no style at all.

    • @tmhtoo6563
      @tmhtoo6563 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      What an existential and sad moment for both of you to have realized that she knows that her wonderful, fun self is still alive, but for whatever reason, she is not at a point where she was able to nurture and grow it.
      I am working on being less judgemental as I get older, and sometimes there has to be happiness and joy in knowing that you did the right thing by showing her HOW she could tap into her "inner self". As the woman's circumstances change, one can hope that she will be able to actualize these disparate parts into a unified whole.

  • @olivest509
    @olivest509 2 ปีที่แล้ว +898

    Three years ago, I made a pact with myself that I wouldn't buy any piece of clothing that I didn't absolutely love. It changed my clothing game forever. I didn't get rid of any of my old clothes, I just added only things I loved. And my closet has morphed into something that actually makes me happy. It's a place where I can always find something that I enjoy and feel good in. I also don't allow myself to wear clothing that is uncomfortable. Pain is not beauty, it's actually the opposite. If it hurts me, it hurts the way I feel which hurts my appearance. Like you said, beauty is authenticity. I could pretend I'm not hurting, but that isn't authentic. Give yourself permission to be comfortable above all else.

    • @amygoddardmusic
      @amygoddardmusic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      I love this and have done similar myself. I ask do I like this enough for it to be a favourite item? If not I’m not buying it? And comfort comes first. If I’m uncomfortable I’m miserable, that is not what I want to express.

    • @Jessiethegirl23
      @Jessiethegirl23 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same.

    • @rhahavyb
      @rhahavyb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I love this you just gave me a new goal for this year, only clothes in my closet I completely love ❤️ thank you!!

    • @Sarahh185
      @Sarahh185 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you

    • @peace6896
      @peace6896 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love this comment

  • @iamartsymomsy
    @iamartsymomsy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1175

    I wish more people would see this. In the world of "influencers" a lot of us is vulnerable to losing our own sense of individuality. A lot of us become depress just because we become insecure for not being and looking like someone else, but in reality we just need to find and discover our own "Authentic self" .

    • @thatswhatisaidCA
      @thatswhatisaidCA 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      As Molly eluded to in this talk, we also have to be brave, confident, able to show our authentic self, and that takes work. Like the woman in the story, I'm sure her story is very common, whether it is our acceptance of what others think we should look like, whether it be from our partner, friends, parents. Many are afraid to be their authentic self in fear of losing love and acceptance. Sad.

    • @martal662
      @martal662 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Couldn't agree more

    • @CarlaN355
      @CarlaN355 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      True.

    • @jenndoingmybest
      @jenndoingmybest 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Omg you are SO right!!! 💯

    • @maryannelarsen1186
      @maryannelarsen1186 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Weird outfit. Distracts from her excellent presentation.

  • @lydiatheglimmermaid
    @lydiatheglimmermaid 2 ปีที่แล้ว +743

    The idea of people dressing to feel seen is so awesome. I always heard the narrative that it's vanity.

    • @prairieN
      @prairieN 2 ปีที่แล้ว +121

      Ive noticed the people who push that it's vanity are the ones who feel uncomfortable when people express themselves for themselves and not under the control of the criticizer

    • @IncandescentLightbulb00
      @IncandescentLightbulb00 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      @@prairieN absolutely! Was just about to say this exact thing. When people perceive something that should be positive as negative, it's because they have a personal issue that they aren't addressing. Otherwise why put others down?

    • @ShradsMG
      @ShradsMG 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@IncandescentLightbulb00 because it's easier to drag others down than to try to climb out...

    • @jeannine520
      @jeannine520 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Which is why I've always spoke out against school uniforms when the topic has come up. Stripping identity and self-expression away from kids in an attempt to make them equal or to "foster cohesiveness" is cruel to the child who is usually trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in the world. I've heard many arguments for it but none have convinced me it's good for the children.

    • @Futurebound_jpg
      @Futurebound_jpg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Same here. Got called names my entire life for how I looked, my weight, how I cut or coloured my hair, and how i dressed. The only people who insulted my outfits also insulted my body or my face, I think they’re the vain ones who seem to think physical appearance is SO important that it’s worth mentally abusing and insulting another person over.

  • @losingmychic
    @losingmychic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +705

    There's no way you could possibly know this, but this video has given me the first sense of relief I've felt in about 18 months. Little did I realise how much my life doesn't match the quadrant I fit in. Thanks to a job change and the pandemic I have been living a life that is the opposite of what I really need. This little video has opened my eyes to that and i feel a sense of hope again. Thank you.

    • @christineholbrook1107
      @christineholbrook1107 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I loved this talk . I thought it would be light and fluffy , but it was profoundly thought provoking. I've let myself go , no longer caring what I wear day to day . I've been living in the shade for so long regarding how I dress , it's a reflection of how I've been living my life . And it hasn't been the authentic me . It's not just the way I throw my clothes on , it's my general way of living . So not me . I feel I've seen the light . Thankyou for such an awesome talk . Xx

    • @Elizabeth-de1uv
      @Elizabeth-de1uv 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@christineholbrook1107 sending you so much good energy to help you express your light again. Your comment really touched me. Have a wonderful time rediscovering your joy and expressing 100% Christine.

    • @WealthofMyself
      @WealthofMyself 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I want to hear more of your story.

  • @whilewereaway752
    @whilewereaway752 2 ปีที่แล้ว +429

    Thank you, I needed to hear this. I was a thin, attractive, vivacious young girl in school, who later in life became overweight and started dressing so nobody would see me, in baggy, drab clothes. I missed my pastels, vintage clothing, and crazy color mixes, but I felt I would look ridiculous as an older, heavier woman dressing like that. I think I should stop caring what others think and dress as my authentic self again. Thank you.

    • @rachaelg.4804
      @rachaelg.4804 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Sounds like your quadrant #1 😄

    • @traceyweiser3631
      @traceyweiser3631 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Please express your beauty! There are many people who are happy to see it and they think that you look fantastic! The more we do this the brighter the world becomes!

    • @m0L3ify
      @m0L3ify 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      It's so much harder when overweight people only have 2% of the clothing options available to them that everyone else does. I've often thought I should do this same thing, but then I'm like "but...where would I find those clothes?" For us, it's not as easy as just making the decision to switch. When those clothes don't exist for us to wear, it's no longer a matter of choice.

    • @rachaelg.4804
      @rachaelg.4804 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@m0L3ify more brands I think are coming out with great options! I love the brand Jessakae 😊

    • @m0L3ify
      @m0L3ify 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@rachaelg.4804 That's good to hear! All I know is Torrid and I'm sick to death of their jeggings and paper-thin fast fashion t-shirts. At least they sell something I can wear, tho!

  • @truepeacenik
    @truepeacenik 2 ปีที่แล้ว +408

    Watching this in a Costco dress from a thrift store. It has pockets. It is a warrior.

    • @jennifercollinsbrever4898
      @jennifercollinsbrever4898 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Is that dress an expression of your authentic style?
      That’s the speakers point.

    • @flossyteacake4714
      @flossyteacake4714 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Pockets are essential definitely

    • @ChocolateJewels
      @ChocolateJewels 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Doesn’t matter where it came from. What matters is, do you like it, does it suit you, does it make you feel great about yourself, does it reflect your personality, do you feel authentic I wearing it. AND pockets are a definite plus. 😀

    • @lauriegani8136
      @lauriegani8136 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      You had me at thrift store. My favorite place

    • @starry_sky111
      @starry_sky111 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      🤣

  • @franzabananza
    @franzabananza 2 ปีที่แล้ว +185

    Wow she turned style into a spiritual right of passage. I love this!

  • @mikeandjuliecarson5067
    @mikeandjuliecarson5067 2 ปีที่แล้ว +646

    The lady in the second story needs to put that pink blazer back on and find a new husband. Self expression is everything!

    • @lm3clark
      @lm3clark 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      C O R R E C T

    • @Theyusone
      @Theyusone 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      I felt so sad when i heard it :'-(

    • @listerutube
      @listerutube 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      0xxxxx⁰

    • @birdlover7776
      @birdlover7776 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Agree💯

    • @CDubzWhat
      @CDubzWhat 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Amen

  • @rrhines3151
    @rrhines3151 2 ปีที่แล้ว +485

    What a provocative, thoughtful and timely Talk. Trying to return to the “real” world after substantial medical treatment for Stage 3 cancer during covid. What IS my style now? I felt I was a vibrant woman prior to surgery, chemo, and radiation, which I believe dissolved my femininity. Your orchestra comparison was encouraging food for thought and it’s imperative I find my re-entry to my new, real, “normal” universe. I DO feel invisible and I used to feel attractive and receive vibes that confirmed others thought so too. A brand new world…. Thank you for offering a refreshing perspective! May the journey begin 🙏🏻. Feeling hopeful and grateful regardless of statistical odds! I will embrace a place in your style orchestra 💃🎶😳

    • @rrhines3151
      @rrhines3151 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@DC-jz7io Thank you !

    • @alicebecht859
      @alicebecht859 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Going through it right now, my hair was how people recognized me. Curly, shoulder length, brown with gold highlights. Then it was all gone and it was a bald me. Now it’s growing back mostly white. Time to find a new style.

    • @rrhines3151
      @rrhines3151 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@alicebecht859 My heart goes out to you as you didn’t ask for any of that… nor did I and it’s a surreal experience. My style and identity was tied into lovely hair like yours and a work wardrobe VS my going out wardrobe! Even with my vaccinations, part of my daily wardrobe are face masks 😷 I wish you courage, compassion and a strong inner circle of family and friends as you move forward🙏🏻 Hair will continue to grow, may be colored and we WILL find our style! Blessings 🤗

    • @kickitlikekirra
      @kickitlikekirra 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I wish ypu the best of luck and strength and courage on your health and recovery journey, and yes! On your style journey, too!
      "Look good, feel good" is more meaningful than I'd originally thought, and feeling good is so necessary to our health. Experiment with your looks and shapes and lines and colors, HAVE FUN no matter what, keep a smile on your face and hope in your heart. You deserve to be authentically vibrant again!

    • @rrhines3151
      @rrhines3151 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@kickitlikekirra You are most kind. Thank you 😊

  • @treasuretroves5497
    @treasuretroves5497 2 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    Authenticity is universally attractive!!!
    Love that.

    • @fwb777
      @fwb777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I thought so too! That statement stood out

  • @JP-ve7or
    @JP-ve7or 2 ปีที่แล้ว +301

    Man, that last part was heartbreaking. I would have liked to hear more about other people's effect on our self image but I guess that's beyond the scope here. And frankly, I bet this lady sees that all the time.

    • @shirleylangton7967
      @shirleylangton7967 2 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      The woman's husband is the problem. He's never going to be satisfied with her. She needs to fight for her real identity.

    • @deborahrossi8963
      @deborahrossi8963 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@shirleylangton7967 agree! She needs to dump him and go get the blazer that she felt fabulous in. Not worth staying with someone who can't accept who you are.

    • @StephaniRoberts
      @StephaniRoberts 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@shirleylangton7967 Amen. He truly doesn’t “see her” for who she is. Nor does he care. I’ve been there and it will not change. My ex consistently ignored what I asked for and gifted me what he wanted me to wear. I returned them and used the credits to gift other people as the stores were always completely misaligned from my style. It feels amazing to be able to fully be myself now. Hope the woman in her story breaks free too!!

    • @TM-tc3om
      @TM-tc3om ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I find it odd that the husband gifted her with a LadyBird certificate. Why would he do that knowing he's not going to like anything on her anyways. It makes no sense on his end. No one deserves to feel that way. They should get some counseling or go their separate ways.

  • @callmecordelia7181
    @callmecordelia7181 2 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    Clothes can totally be an armor to hide behind when people feel unsafe

    • @hew195050
      @hew195050 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Are you talking about me? That was the part I nodded yes to. I've been hiding for fear of being exposed and judged. OMG!

    • @saisaivipa
      @saisaivipa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I also view clothes as armour, but more like to boost my confidence and to pick me up and help me face the world. When I feel down, haggard, exhausted, dressing up just picks me up every time! 😆

    • @lilyrpeace
      @lilyrpeace 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes.. for sure

    • @mrsblue3011
      @mrsblue3011 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have found so great dressers to be horrible people. Sorry. Not sorry.

  • @robincrowflies
    @robincrowflies 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Wow. Her husband gave her a gift card, and took it right back. :-(
    Thank you. I'm one of those people who stopped trying to be seen, but then I met someone who saw me, and I blossomed. Lately, I've been experimenting with style, and having a lot of fun with my clothes.

  • @saisaivipa
    @saisaivipa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    My hubby does’t criticize what I wear exactly, but only gives me compliments when I wear neutral/minimal looks. My style was “eclectic” and was usually fun and bold. But lately I find myself putting on more neutral and simple pieces. Which is fine, once in a while, but I do feel like I’ve lost my mojo. I’ve also gained a lot of weight these past few years and consequently lost my body confidence and wanted to “hide”. This advice really helps to open my eyes. I was so confused with my style direction these past few years (I didn’t used to be) and now I understand why and can work towards expressing my authentic self again! Thank you!!!

  • @serenitynow8021
    @serenitynow8021 2 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    This was like an amazing therapy session for me! Molly's presentation was so well done because she didn't sound like she was "public speaking." Her message was articulated in a tone and manner that felt real, and that resonated with me more than I expected it would. I have a lot of shame around my desire to be pretty--so I do not allow myself to take the time and effort to look good. Molly has expressed what I've always wanted to hear--that it is acceptable and even preferable to Just Be Myself, in all areas of my life, including my personal style. Instead of feeling vain (and therefore ashamed) I can feel authentic. What a positive reframe! THANK YOU Molly!

    • @devidaughter7782
      @devidaughter7782 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      yes, caring about our appearance does not make us superficial people!

  • @courtneyrobbins3118
    @courtneyrobbins3118 2 ปีที่แล้ว +132

    I love that this was very catered and personal, not just ‘Style for your body shape’, because it is a form of self expression that can’t be limited to a physical quality.
    I’m really glad I came across this! And what a profound story at the end. Moved me emotionally.

  • @MarcelGomesPan
    @MarcelGomesPan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    A dude here, who dresses in kilts and Highland wear.
    That is, i wear kilts even at ordinary days in a casual way.
    🥃

  • @jolenekwasnitza3099
    @jolenekwasnitza3099 2 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    The speaker totally described my friend. She is a larger woman who wears clothes that are her. She is vibrant and alive, and so is her clothing.

  • @stylesense8678
    @stylesense8678 3 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    YES!! LOVE this approach. The old ways of 'identifying your style ie. preppy or classic' just seem a little outdated and aren't humans all about how we move and vibrate? Brilliant.

  • @LaciASMR
    @LaciASMR 2 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Admittedly, this made me cry. Even when I dress with purpose and confidence, my trouble showing up, makes me question it all the same. Now I will continue to build off that, instead of shaming myself for not dressing ‘high fashion’ Thank you.

    • @Meme-go9ts
      @Meme-go9ts 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have to say I completely understand and go through the same. It really helped what she said about "not wanting to be seen", and people and oneself "learning to see". It's a process and I try to take it step by step. Oh, and did you know Marilyn Monroe struggled with the same thing?.. with showing up... wow, to me it's amazing that it has to do with appearances and not "simply" with looks. We can do this! You've got this. I wish you the best!

  • @callmecordelia7181
    @callmecordelia7181 2 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    4 Groups of style
    1. Woodwind - light bright fresh new movement
    2. String - take more time comfortable welcoming patient knits
    3. - efficiency get it done substantial texture sharp fierce
    4. - no movement is a movement bold clean shaped fabric

    • @BodyLanguageBoss
      @BodyLanguageBoss 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This explanation mirrors Carol Tuttle's Dress Your Truth program! Very helpful for developing your personal style.

    • @fullmoon5971
      @fullmoon5971 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I don't understand

    • @natashafigueroa9198
      @natashafigueroa9198 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I feel like a blend of 1 & 2, with a dash of 3.

    • @acertree1980
      @acertree1980 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think I could be 1 , 2, 3 or 4 depending on my mood and where I'm going but I think my happy place is no. 2
      Thanks for posting this reminder 😊

    • @SmasherBunny
      @SmasherBunny 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      What parts of the orchestra are groups 3 and 4 likened to? Maybe I missed this.... Thanks!

  • @Aritul
    @Aritul 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    I thoroughly enjoyed this talk. I wish, though, that she had shown pictures when she talked about each quadrant in the grid.

    • @tmhtoo6563
      @tmhtoo6563 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Or a way to be able to determine your own personal style, or where you fit in the orchestra.

  • @clairewright44
    @clairewright44 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    And this is how I end up watching 1-2 hours of TH-cam recommended videos! The stories the speaker shared about two of her clients were really insightful. One of the best Ted Talks I’ve come across.

  • @User-uw7uw
    @User-uw7uw 3 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    I had a narcissistic mother growing up and she would control and obsess over what I would wear. That was one of the way she would control and dismiss my identity

    • @solaceyes7767
      @solaceyes7767 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      She can't. Your identity is always yours. I hope you are doing great.

    • @AMonteiro4
      @AMonteiro4 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I hope you are taking the necessary steps to heal from the unfairness you have dealt with. Just know you are beautiful inside and out. You deserve to live the life you want and you will 💌

    • @regalo1979
      @regalo1979 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I love choosing clothes for my kids until they started dressing up themselves.
      My son who is 15 doesn't go shopping without me. He really begs me of going with him and his sister. He said they will choose their clothes but they like to hear my opinion to be sure. My kids are known being stylish and unique and they are proud of telling people that they learned it from me. *sweet*
      I hope your mom lets you decide what to choose what you really like. She can still voice her opinion but the final decision should be yours.

    • @twinkletoes1507
      @twinkletoes1507 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wow. Of course.

    • @proserpine3332
      @proserpine3332 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hope you’re safe now 🖤

  • @markmagnuson7021
    @markmagnuson7021 3 ปีที่แล้ว +132

    I can confirm that Molly and Ladybird's approach is brilliant. I was one of their earliest clients and as a 1st Corner have totally transformed what I wear. But more importantly it's as Molly says if you are in your correct corner "people will get you better."

  • @DuskHwy
    @DuskHwy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    It feels so good to be seen and understood. Liberating, validating, empowering. But to go unseen--or, worse, to be "seen" in a way that isn't you--can make you feel like you're being slowly hollowed out.

  • @ElizabethDohertyThomas
    @ElizabethDohertyThomas 3 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    A very fresh approach! I have found thrift shopping to be a glorious way to find my style. It's hard to argue with a $5 top that you purposefully try on (well, pre-COVID) and it looks amazing even though it's nothing you'd normally buy.

    • @ElizabethDohertyThomas
      @ElizabethDohertyThomas 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@DC-jz7io Super envious of folks in "normal ranges" of sizes. I'm thin but really tall and have nobody my body time I'm good friends with. :D

    • @ElizabethDohertyThomas
      @ElizabethDohertyThomas 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@DC-jz7io That is so cool and inspiring!

    • @jenndoingmybest
      @jenndoingmybest 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Excellent point! I live thrifting, too, and I love your idea!

    • @stariadreamtea
      @stariadreamtea 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Not fresh at all! She stole this idea from CAROL TUTTLE a writer in her 60s who wrote books about this in the 90s!!!! It's a stolen idea almost word for word.

  • @cmw332
    @cmw332 2 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    The question is not whether you have style, it’s if it’s being expressed. This was so good !!! So good! Thank you Molly for putting this presentation together.

  • @CastledarkDweller27
    @CastledarkDweller27 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm an older vegan hippy lady who lives in the Australian bush with a heap of animals.
    I know nothing about fashion or style & i myself am NOT by a long shot, fashionable or stylish.
    But as SOON as i looked at Molly Bingaman, i wanted to hear what she had to say!
    That fun sleek hairdo! (that im dying to see how the colours blend when its all ruffled and shook out)
    The sophisticated pollyanna feel of that pinafore in the most confident & cheerful of colours!
    And best of all, that once in a lifetime find! That blouse! The immaculate contrast of the face-framing collar against the red & oh those sleeves...with such an olde worlde romantic vibe but with the sexiest polka dots ive ever seen in my life!
    If she walked by me in ONE of those things i would look twice. But all 3? I cant take my eyes off her!

  • @unnidavidsen3699
    @unnidavidsen3699 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This matches the four elements: wind, (light), water (flowing), fire (burning!)) and earth (rock solid)… I love dressing according to my energy! (Water/flowing/comfy).

  • @joannemcgrath3436
    @joannemcgrath3436 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    This is wonderful and liberating I thought put your pink blazer back on and leave the husband behind .
    Been in a similar position very young and after seeing counselling ,therapy and many years later I embrace my style live of colour . In the 1980s I wore red alot I put this colour away when I entered without knowing what would become an abusive relationship I eventually 4 years later got to a woman's refugee thankfully with the help of a beautiful friend.
    One of my things during counselling was the Red Coat could I ever put it back on a constant fight with my confidence. I eventually bought a new red coat as I had left my old one behind when I went into the refuge my partner had put it in the loft I literally wore what he said red made me look like father Christmas . No one ever will tell me not to wear colour these days it's teals,greens shades of indigo and fushia and I love this Ted talk thank you so much for this it's extremely important 💙❤️🙏

    • @joannemcgrath3436
      @joannemcgrath3436 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Apologies for my grammar in this and mis written bits. My expartner when i moved in with him put my red coat in the loft he put away me . Embrace you and what you love 💙

    • @massages_for_world_peace8909
      @massages_for_world_peace8909 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That's so smart you got a new red coat, so you could let go of the other red coat, which was associated with your ex. Sounds like you really learned to trust yourself and surround yourself now by people that make you feel safe and loved!

  • @donnaphones3884
    @donnaphones3884 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Molly is such a GREAT communicator. Even her tone of voice during this presentation is super appropriate.

  • @mcoffeecation2153
    @mcoffeecation2153 3 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    This has opened up a new way of looking at finding an authentic style. I'm guessing people do not always fall into a single quadrant. My guess is people can be a mix.

    • @ladybirdstyling
      @ladybirdstyling 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Excellent observation! We've observed that while each person does contain a mix of all 4 energies, one is always dominant and serves as sort of the "base setting" or default pattern for how their energy moves over time. But you're right--it's this unique sequence of a person's energy that makes for endless variety in individual expression!

    • @helenaquin1797
      @helenaquin1797 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      And perhaps different quadrants for different areas of our lives.

    • @samiranizberg5297
      @samiranizberg5297 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      This is straight out of personality testing. Read on Sanguine (Fun loving), Choleric (Powerful), Melancholic (Analytical) and Phlegmatic (Easy going). You can be in neighboring quadrants but very rarely in opposite.

    • @prairieN
      @prairieN 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Yes! I watched it with my kids and my eldest is 100 the first quadrant. She can wear anything and it's amazing because she is always changing things up.
      My youngest has a base quadrant of no movement with the third quadrant on top. They love structured pants, suit jackets, and corsets, mixed with bold colours and soft clingy fabrics.
      I thought I was all the second quadrant, because I love soft and comfort (I'm autistic and cannot handle tags on clothing) but I think soft and slow are my mask that I hide behind. I like to work in intense bursts and if I stop to rest and do nothing, I get depressed and can't get moving again.
      Lots to think about. Thank you

    • @hew195050
      @hew195050 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I thought that too.

  • @AngelTacha87
    @AngelTacha87 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Her voice is so calm and soothing. This is like therapy for personal style lol

  • @maidinulster
    @maidinulster 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This is the first TEDx that made me cry. I was always outgoing and expressed myself happily with clothes and still have a great wardrobe but over the years I’ve had a few bad things happen to put me in a corner so now I’m always in sweats, blacks, navy’s, dark reds, you get it, I feel like I’m in morning. I can refuse to go anywhere that requires dressing up like shopping or in town as I can easily shop in sweats on line. It took me a while to realise this that I no longer resonate with the beauty of my wardrobe, I can’t identify with its loveliness. Never did I ever imagine I would feel like this. And I’m the last one in the group on your talk. But I nearly scrolled past but very glad I didn’t ❤️

  • @CathrineAnita
    @CathrineAnita 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I LOOOVE this !!!
    My favorite quote of all times is from a Neneh Cherry-song, it says "Looking good is a state of mind"
    I think I had forgotten that for a minute, thank you so much for making this TED-talk and bringing this back into my life. I needed this. I have a red dress and I`m gonna throw it on!!

  • @susanarangel7015
    @susanarangel7015 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love how she illustrated that clothes have to convey your energy! It's so true!

  • @CrocPit
    @CrocPit 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This is spookily spot on. I’m hopeless with clothes but I have over the years figured out that animal prints, metallic elements and animal textures all suit me. I’m in the “sharp/fierce” group

  • @soulscapes
    @soulscapes 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was amazing! Such a wonderfully put together and insightful presentation! Thank you, Molly Bingaman and Tedx Talks!

  • @nouveauChic
    @nouveauChic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This talk was so good! And Molly is such a treat!! I hope she gets to do another talk with an actual live audience next time.

  • @katesage3221
    @katesage3221 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Such an interesting approach to personal style. Thank you

  • @willimacdo
    @willimacdo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I was heartened by the level of intuiting that goes on in her role.

  • @clairebradshaw3183
    @clairebradshaw3183 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Absolutely loved this. The story at the end broke my heart.

  • @barbarapouw-vandevelde3080
    @barbarapouw-vandevelde3080 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I generally really like my comfort, but I also really enjoy expressing myself through what I wear for different occasions. Therefore I am not sure I fit in one specific quadrant.
    What I wear to dinner with my husband is quite different from what I would wear going out with some colleagues, but I will always aim for it to be authentically me. I even miss going into the office because it gave me the opportunity to show a more grown up and powerful version of me that does not need to be expressed in my home life, but is definitely part of my authentic identity.
    Which part of me I wish to highlight varies so much by occasion, that I definitely have far too many clothes, but I also have great fun choosing what to wear every day.

    • @angelabusby7689
      @angelabusby7689 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sounds like the first type to me! Wanting that variety and freedom. You definitely don’t want to be held down or put in a box. You having a lot of clothes and having fun with it seems to put you into that category. Also, if you can see yourself in all the different categories, it’s an indicator that you are truly in the first category.

    • @aerialpunk
      @aerialpunk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah, I thought the same. In terms of energy for the music, I definitely identified with the strings and percussion. When she said what that meant, I was like, nah, comfort is important but as long as it meets my minimum, I'll focus on other stuff. I really resonated with what she said about the percussion people liking fitted clothes - that's definitely me. But I also like a LOT of variety.

    • @massages_for_world_peace8909
      @massages_for_world_peace8909 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same, I'm not limited to one category, I fit into a couple of them, depending on occasion and mood. I think just keep your favorites and maybe check in with mood each time you get dressed. Aka: which category am I in this morning vs what category am I in always?

  • @elleh3495
    @elleh3495 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    love this so much. her spirit and passion for people is what is actually highlighted.

  • @ShellyBomb
    @ShellyBomb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Fascinating TEDx Talk --- love Molly's take / talk on style & fashion ... 👗👠👜👓💄

  • @aliciagc2539
    @aliciagc2539 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is brilliant! What an amazing and insightful presentation. I am going right to my closet to re-evaluate a lot of my clothes. I feel like I just got "permission" to be authentic in how I dress.
    I am the last quadrant. When I first saw her I was instantly drawn to her whole look and way of being. Beautiful lady.

  • @rhonaklipp
    @rhonaklipp 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Excellent! I’ve been trying to figure out my style since getting close to 60 and gaining some weight. I also appreciate the instrument analogy instead of the fruit analogy. This is easy for men to use as well.

  • @cynthiaabsher9069
    @cynthiaabsher9069 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Loved the information, and the example of musical instruments as our movement in life. Simply beautiful. Needed this!

  • @ghc26
    @ghc26 2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    So unexpected, this was so heartfelt and provided such a beautiful perspective. Thank you. 💫

    • @sophiemorris4776
      @sophiemorris4776 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You captured my exact sentiments...unexpected, heartfelt, beautiful!

  • @lynnmckenna9934
    @lynnmckenna9934 2 ปีที่แล้ว +208

    Aren’t we lucky that we can care about style. A luxury.

    • @marmir4852
      @marmir4852 2 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      Humans express themselves through their appearance for thousands of years. And style is not a matter of resources (most of the time), but rather willingness to stand for yourself.
      You can express yourself by a certain hairstyle, make up, jewelry or simply by how you drape a certain garment. But to experiment with all of this things, you have to be brave and see behind your limitations and flaws and see your uniqueness. A lot of people are teached throughout their lives not to stand out, make trouble and so on. Because subconsciously it means looking different is equal to look crazy, or being crazy. In the past this could mean excommunication from your community.
      Nowadays in the postmodern world everything goes. There are no rules but the ones we make for ourselves. So if people start to limit themselves it’s always a question of why they forbid themselves to express themselves. Of course there are people who care more or less about their appearance or not at all (which is rare).
      To think of style as the luxury of owning or shopping clothes is very limited. IMO

    • @jeffreyreeves9854
      @jeffreyreeves9854 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Good point, Maslow's Hierarchy and such. Let us be grateful that we have food, soap and medical care. All can be taken away.

    • @francesbale1409
      @francesbale1409 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      It is indeed a luxury and we are lucky. Isnt it fun! Fun stuff is to be enjoyed not lamented :)

    • @namedrop721
      @namedrop721 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@marmir4852 very well said

    • @namedrop721
      @namedrop721 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      So I’ve had nothing but the clothes on my back. You have no idea how much what we put on our bodies is mentally and spiritually important. Being seen in any context-whether that’s the right to be taken seriously by a doctor or safely interact with law enforcement, or be seen as valuable by others is what keeps humans alive.

  • @amihicks9116
    @amihicks9116 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Mind blown!! My daughters and I all played instruments (sax, percussion, and violin - respectively). Our personal styles match our instruments! Wow, just wow.

  • @kristenjames-houston6992
    @kristenjames-houston6992 ปีที่แล้ว

    this was deeper than i ever thought it would be. Style, expressing your personal style is wayyyyy more important than I ever
    thought.

  • @TM-oe2on
    @TM-oe2on 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Sadly, I don't dress for creativity right now. I dress for coverage to hide my oversized body....I pray that as I learn to accept myself, I will learn to confidently express myself through fashion.

    • @sarahforrester6421
      @sarahforrester6421 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Try listening to some podcasts by Christy Harrison called FoodPsych. It will really help.

    • @nicolef2496
      @nicolef2496 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I have found some youtubers who do fashion halls and are plus and oversized and have great tips for styling to your body type and that's most important that you feel comfortable and confident regardless of body size and body type.

    • @aliciaburbank9962
      @aliciaburbank9962 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nicolef2496 please share a few of them. Thanks 😊

    • @gemmadoyle3926
      @gemmadoyle3926 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well said. 👏 Currently, I’m in the same position as you.

  • @nova6600
    @nova6600 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This has been one of the most interesting and unusual ted talks that I've listened to. It's truly eye opening. And the speaker, Molly Bingaman, is wearing a spectacular outfit. I love it!

  • @brimavanniekerk7973
    @brimavanniekerk7973 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i loved the metaphor; thank you Molly - this is very inspiring.

  • @BlueBreeze420
    @BlueBreeze420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thank you for this

  • @ryanautumn
    @ryanautumn 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Absolutely beautiful! Loved every second of this.

  • @nightapple1365
    @nightapple1365 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think this is so beautiful. It's so deep.
    I also feel that there is a deeper sense behind what you wear.
    She really explained it so well. Bravo!

  • @AnnaPugacova
    @AnnaPugacova 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow, this was such an incredible talk!!!! So authentic, real and informative!!

  • @jocelynbrown20
    @jocelynbrown20 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love her message!

  • @allisonbruce
    @allisonbruce 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    What a lovely Tedx talk! Thank you for sharing your unique process of self discovery.

  • @venusfirenza2547
    @venusfirenza2547 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Molly is a stylist of pure beautiful truth!. The very impactful part was about the musical instruments. I thought "That is it!". When we are alone we are plucking away without any other players. If we don't harmonize, nor tune in with one another we start playing not as well as we should. We may have the tuners and electronics to tune with but it just isn't the same as interacting physically with others. This isolation has been the halt of the energy of music of my soul. Thanks for this. It really resonates with me.

  • @CallyBellMusic
    @CallyBellMusic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Very interesting and I’ve never heard style explained this way. Trained myself in colour body shape and style personality, so I now have another way to view this. Yes, clothing truly does take me to my happy place. You look great in your orange red and speak eloquently, thank you.

  • @andreawall9304
    @andreawall9304 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Stunning lady! I love her style 😍 she wears it so well ✨

  • @bernadette721
    @bernadette721 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    So smart and meaningful. Thank you.

  • @madloola9919
    @madloola9919 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love this talk. I keep getting back to it.

  • @lucia.marginean
    @lucia.marginean 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much for such a wonderful explanation! 💜

  • @isabellaveloso886
    @isabellaveloso886 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    True beauty is when a shape resonates in so many levels, in such a direct, honest and courageous movement that even tired eyes cannot ignore its power and presence. I love this talk so much because it gives us a clue on that, illustrated in music, wave propagation, images, feelings. Helping us see the connection of what true beauty can be. Gosh, I love fashion! And I love been a straight line, as I found out after this beautiful video

  • @lilya7110
    @lilya7110 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    These four categories match the four energy types in Carol Tuttle’s ‘Dressing Your Truth’ system. I found her system helpful for aligning a color palette, patterns, clothing styles, hairstyles, and even makeup look ideas, that fit an individual’s authentic energy expression.

  • @anyaconnolly6690
    @anyaconnolly6690 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So insightful! Thank you.

  • @penelopelambson6794
    @penelopelambson6794 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very interesting and inspiring . Well presented, calmly, clearly, professionally. “Dressing to be seen” translates to “ dressing so you can be known” for me.
    Creating congruency in one’s life.
    Thank you for an excellent presentation.

  • @Acyuta-Priya
    @Acyuta-Priya 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Enjoyed this so much!

  • @33Jenesis
    @33Jenesis 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Window dressing has always been important to me. I need to dress the way that I feel pleased. Sometimes it has to fit the occasion. Mostly it’s the joy of self expressing. I get a lot of joy in looking for things that I want to wear; from hats to shoes. I change my style preference every few years so i have all sorts of item in my home. I wish more ppl would get joy from dressing to please self. There is no shame in wanting to smile seeing the reflection in the mirror:)

  • @melissagraham4569
    @melissagraham4569 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this. It was really interesting and I haven’t heard this before. It has given me food for thought.

  • @susandelongis885
    @susandelongis885 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Amazing perspective that certainly works for me. I could see this model being very useful in many applications. Fascinating! Thank you!

  • @sarahharvey3115
    @sarahharvey3115 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    A lady who knows herself, looks fantastic, interesting lively, warm content...lots of respect & huge thums up.. I don't follow many people, but I would her.. Shes authentic & then some

  • @mariekelley7557
    @mariekelley7557 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I agree with everything here. I'm unsure if I'm a 1 or 4; but, maybe the indecision is my style! I really appreciated the stories and experience shared. Thank you so much!

  • @suno8911
    @suno8911 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This talk has a deceptive title that made me almost quit watching it months ago. Lucky I didn’t! It is by far one of the best talks out there on “personal style” because of how it approaches and champions the need for creative expression and clothes as a way to self-discovery. I watched it months ago and since couldn’t get the images out of head. Now I’m back just to squeeze a bit more wisdom out of 10 minutes.

  • @southernjulip2403
    @southernjulip2403 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is a beautiful talk. Healing.

  • @12blin
    @12blin 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dang, she is such a good speaker! A pleasure to watch and listen to her.

  • @SadieRTrego
    @SadieRTrego 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This talk is so true. Thank you ❤️

  • @marykslong
    @marykslong 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow, this was great!
    Thank you for this informative episode!

  • @amusicment4829
    @amusicment4829 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Such a great talk - thank you so much for this. I learned a lot.

  • @sallymichaelsdesigns3045
    @sallymichaelsdesigns3045 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you!!!!! Well done !!

  • @romy3582
    @romy3582 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Brilliant! Very enlightening video, style is actually quite a big thing in my life.
    Especially bcus now I struggle with finding one. I knew it had a deeper meaning to it

  • @e.b.9821
    @e.b.9821 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Interesting and helpful. Thank you!

  • @davidtitterington
    @davidtitterington 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    What a great talk! I find it interesting that you use words like sympathetic and resonance... terms used in magic.

  • @michelleoleary7109
    @michelleoleary7109 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow, that was amazing, I applauded at the end 👏

  • @rmzmssmd5410
    @rmzmssmd5410 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Brillant! People are movement before language. One expresses right, when moving rightly. Instead of asking myself what is the right next move, I should ask how do I move and when does it feel effortlessly. I love that, thanks!

  • @jenntruong6023
    @jenntruong6023 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love this- makes so much sense
    I definitely fit that first group; Love buying new things and having variety in my wardrobe

  • @EdiaStanfordBruce
    @EdiaStanfordBruce หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am "no movement at all" and now not ashamed of it. I dance like the mountain. I am Saleya. Rooted deep. Fire below. The landmark. Yet I do move. I move in bold straight lines like Virginia pines. Thank you, Molly!

  • @cq8822
    @cq8822 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I know when I feel fantastic in something and I know what fits my personality and style. Good talk

  • @marciamellow1211
    @marciamellow1211 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great presentation...I think wanting style is a choice that has confidence or not... in yourself and in your home... I love decorating, and have been in the beauty industry for many years...it is all intresting and fun..

  • @skylersmith7
    @skylersmith7 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Miss Molly Bingaman

  • @jesskew01
    @jesskew01 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    So insightful. Lovely talk. Thank you

  • @FYSGentleCalmSleep
    @FYSGentleCalmSleep 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great talk! Really loved her style too. 💞

  • @MrRichands
    @MrRichands 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you. Molly, you are such a minister. I am changed.