Why Emotional Intelligence is the Secret to Smart Shopping | Episode 50 Sustain This Podcast
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 มิ.ย. 2024
- How would you rate yourself on a test of emotional intelligence? And do you think it has anything to do with shopping? In today's podcast episode, we're discussing emotional intelligence and how it can impact our fashion consumption habits for the better. Today's episode was inspired by the article linked below by one of our favourite fashion resources - @fashionispsychology2663 - check out the article below and take the test to find out your own emotional intelligence!
ARTICLE MENTIONED: fashionispsychology.com/the-s...
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CONTACT US: sustainthispodcast@gmail.com
SIGNE HANSEN
TH-cam: / @useless_dk
Website: www.uselesswardrobe.dk/
IG: / useless_dk
TT: / useless_wardrobe
CHRISTINA MYCHAS
TH-cam: / @christinamychas
Website: www.minimalist-ish.com/
IG: / christina.mychas
TT: / christina.mychas
ALYSSA BELTEMPO
TH-cam: / @alyssabeltempo
Website: msbeltempo.com/
IG: / msbeltempo
TT: / msbeltempo
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My mother who passed away last November had a shopping addiction. She wasn't a happy person (she had had a traumatic childhood), but she enjoyed looking nice and wearing lovely clothes and makeup. But as she got older I really felt that shopping for her became about primarily filling an emotional void. So I am very mindful when i shop about the why. I also really enjoy nice clothes but try to think about how something will actually work in my wardrobe and whether it will increase my style options rather than just adding more of the same. Every now and then I go online to Zara and just put a pile of crazy stuff in my shopping cart but don't buy them, if i am feeling like buying for a not real need. I took bags and bags of my mum's unworn items to the thrift store after she passed, but we have left the things she actually loved in her closet and tidied up her dressing table with her beloved expensive lipsticks all lined up. My sisters and I have enough lipstick to last out our lifetimes too. When I wear a lipstick she bought i think of her.
Sorry for your loss and all that you have been through.
I realized that my own mom's ordering clothes (by phone) was to have a reason to look forward to their arrival. It was often a way for her, as she aged, to have something to look forward to. And then I saw that same pattern in myself ❤️
I decided to do a no buy month, influenced by you wonderful ladies. This was so big for me. Well one month became two, then three, then four, just shy of five months I fell off the wagon. I bought a pair of shoes (my weakness). I had them on a wish list for such a long time, they came on sale were the last pair in my size and half price, so I bought them. Did I really need them? No! But I really wanted them. I didn't regret it either. I then went straight back on the no buy wagon and it's going swimmingly 😊 Great podcast ladies, thank you ❤
Such a good discussion ladies. Speaking as a semi retired psychologist I really like how you have linked emotional regulation to shopping unpacking the process of awareness and decision making. Often the discourse in the public square overlooks how impactful our consumerist society is on how we regulate our emotions and decisions. Just to add when we name our emotions in any experience this literally enhances our neurological connections within the brain, literally our brain performs better as it is more integrated after the naming process. Oh yes and on the bag purchase I call this planned impulsivity . You have made a decision at the right time and then when you see the opportunity bang time to buy.
Emotions are like weather. Wait and there will be a new one but you can't regulate what you don't acknowledge.
Thanks for acknowledging those of us who don't really enjoy shopping. That leads to poor decisions in purchases, too, but perhaps not at the frequency of those who love to shop! The emotional awareness and regulation you're talking about applies to a broad range of circumstances, though. Most of us could do better if we take a beat, note our emotional response to something, decide if that's a good assessment, and then decide how to respond, whether it's shopping or eating or how we deal with a co-worker or family member or while we're driving... Pretty much everything would be better. 🙃
You Three are so graceful. Hands down you could be the most humble, straight-to-the-point, honest and decent human beeings on YT.
I am a huge Levi’s and denim fan and not a month goes by, where I don’t feel the urge to stock up my collection, which is kinda expensive when you’re based in Poland. So I wanted to ask Signe, as you’re located in Europe as well, where you purchase vintage Levi’s online? (If you do)
I was a shopaholic on things that were on sale, but now after purging and selling, I walk out of stores with nothing, I have a wishlist which only had one item which was a vintage chanel mini square and I recently found one in excellent condition, I am excited to have it and enjoy it for years to come, I have stopped purchasing bags that looked like it and it was a waste because it wasn't the one I really wanted I just settled.. Loved the episode especially how emotions really affect how we shop and why we shop.
Alyssa please show us the new puzzle !❤
Thank you for this episode. I think it's very important to talk about emotional triggers but also how we, specially women, are so overwhelmed with marketing that makes us feel not enough. I love fashion and skincare and bags but I hate the feeling of not being in control of my purchases, of my budget and of what I really want. So this type of conversation really helps unpack dome of these things. Thank you!
Same ❤
Such a good episode! I joined a style society that came with shopping links for a seasonal capsule wardrobe in August of 2020 (anyone remember what we were facing then😄?). I am a healthcare worker, so never worked from home, had to face the uncertainty of the time head on, and the group filled a huge creative void and provided a very supportive online community. But after a couple of years, I realized that it had gone from being a great way to refine my style, and add a few new pieces as I figured it out, to getting my dopamine hit from the shopping. I still love style, but now I have a wish list, and I am so much more thoughtful about my purchases! Thanks so much for providing style that is sustainable, so wonderful!
Annnd I also do not love shopping either on line or in store! Season change will cause a ‘ you have to get something new’ feeling.. this video was thought provoking ! E Q emotional quotient!!! Thanks for this!!❤
Ah les filles que j aurais aimé discuter avec vous, je suis psychologue et ce dont vous parliez correspond en bonne partie à l’approche que j’utilise avec certains de mes clients. Il s agit de la thérapie de acceptation et d’engagement. Si vous volulez lire + à ce sujet vous pouvez commencer avec le piège du bonheur ou en anglais the happiness trap de Russ Harris, Que j aurais aimé prendre part à la conversation. Je vais lire cet article c est certain et je suis à peu près certaine que dans les références il doit être question de cette approche. Vos exemples étaient super clairs et j ai apprécié cette discussion encore…comme à chaque semaine merci 1000 x
Ahh the promise of hope and the instant gratification-fueled feelings boost! Years ago, in a terrible semester of graduate school, I became very aware that when I need that boost I veer towards buying new jeans and mascara. Now I'm wise enough to stop when I feel pulled towards those to ask what else is going on. I laugh at my very specific choices now, but yeah... how much mascara does one woman need?!
I hate shopping! To try and find a pair of jeans that fits well. 🤬 I have not enough cloths and I hate that I do not have the energy to shop and look for that thing that really fits! Like you talk about the anticipation and if you know it will be disapointing then you don’t want to shop! But recently I went to Greece and there I just tagged along with a friend that wanted to shop and it was very nice. We had lunch, had icecream and a lot of breakes to drink and eat. And voilà I found both a pair of shoes looking just they way I wanted and tried to find at home and on line and even a jeans shirt that fit well and was thin enough for summer. So I think for me to try and make the shopping more about that time to spend with a friend and the Tea & cake (Fika) than acctually I need to find… It is such an interesting subject! Your podd is 👌
I guess skincare is easier to justify, because we subconsciously translate it into self-care which is a legitimate right thing to do 😂
Also it's usually cheaper than clothes/accessories.
P.S. I heard Alyssa speaking on her channel about buying another Puzzle several months ago, so we all have proof that it was not an impulsive purchase!!
I also spotted something like a beige Puzzle bag in one of Alyssa's more recent videos but was not sure 😂
Somehow I feel so happy that this dream came true 🎉
I have a feeling that your subscribers , Alyssa, would celebrate this with you 🎉
This was a fun and interesting convo. I find that I get super hyper focused on researching a thing that I “need” and the time spent researching convinces me that this thing is a huge priority or that my life will be so much better once I have the thing. Usually even when I do end up liking the purchase and using it a lot, it still isn’t as grand as I thought it would be. And of course then there’s other times when I research the heck out of something, wait on pulling the trigger but constantly keep thinking about the thing, then finally buy the thing but it doesn’t work out and its a huge bummer. My main way of limiting this roller coaster of emotions is just not allowing myself to entertain any new clothes or shoe purchases for months at a time. This kind of sucks bc I want to improve my style and wardrobe and the main way I’ve found new styles I like on my post-baby body is through trial and error so the changes in my wardrobe are going veeeery slowly so I continue to wear stuff that I feel meh about or rewear the same 3 outfits that make me feel good.
This is a great episode ❤
My first step in my journey was understanding why i felt the need to go to the mall and buy something randomly. Identifying that emotion and subsequently learning coping mechanism, being more confident in who i am as a person and prioritising me continues to support a better lifestyle years after
We've got used to the culture of shopping online and we're presented with models and sometimes enticing backdrops so we're being sold the whole idea of how the outfit will make us feel and therefore look. Reality is not like that we we open the packing and hold up the creased outfit...much better to go out and as you say "put your shoes on" and face ourselves and the reality under the harsh strip lights in the dressing room...:) you have real time to make a better decision then..
Glad you mentioned ‘feeling’ your emotions to regulate them over trying to sterilize them. Humans are emotional beings, we have them so we can use them.
Also dopamine addiction can affect people more than others and that can bring an even tougher dynamic.
I call myself an emotional intellectualist because I understand my emotions on paper, but I haven’t quite nailed the peak of emotional intelligence.
I 💯 agree with your idea of "feeling, not sterilizing." Examining our emotions (after feeling them fully!) provides the very BEST path to self-awareness and positive growth in our lives.
I made a quick purchase of theatre tickets, but it was for a show I've always wanted to see and it was an experience for my birthday so quick check and the purchase was made, I'll let you know if it was worth it after my birthday.
Speaking of handbags, I was looking for a bag to add a pop of colour to my predominantly grey winter wardrobe, and I found the perfect purple pebbled leather Kate Spade bag on ebay for $40. It has some minute scuffs but they make me feel more comfortable about using the bag about town, at the grocers etc. I'm not in the Loewe league ;o)
Wow, so much to digest, fab episode.
OMG I'm so glad you got the bag you wanted Alyssa, can't wait to see it styled in your video's.
I need to get into this psychology of shopping stuff (I am such an emotional shopper and I know it so I try to step back, write it on my list and wait. This is hard but I am getting there.
I just bought some designer sunglasses 🕶️ at duty free leaving Toronto. I absolutely love them and was looking at the same pair online. They were on my list after my faves broke. So pleased with them!
I am also not a bag persons. 🤣
Loved hearing Alyssa’s rationale-it made so much sense to me. Interestingly, my happiest purchases are those on my wish list-the things that made me skip a heart beat when I first saw them, but waited to buy (my Sézane basket bag, and my Labucq belt). The unhappiest are those things I’m needing to replace (things that don’t fit etc). Hmm. Xo
❤
I appreciate everything you’re saying, but is this just one more method of judging women? I’m tired of judgment. That’s a big emotion within me. We too often forget maybe when a purchase was planned and turns out to be a great choice.
i think the point of the video was addressing how to emotionally regulate when people tend to buy out of stress/boredom/insecurity. i dont think you could say definitively from an outside perspective if someone else’s purchases were “wrong”, but you can determine it for yourself with this kind of emotional awareness