i used to h ave heavy duty toxic self esteem.. been sober 42 years now and i love myself....to the extent that sometimes i will see myself in a mirror or shop windowsometimes......i look at my reflection with love and respect and i say......dude you are f====== awesome, i know where you have come from. narcissism......nah!!!
The narcissism scores of college students have climbed steeply since 1987, with 65% percent of modern-day students scoring higher in narcissism than previous generations (Twenge, Konrath, Foster, Campbell, & Bushman, 2008).
There are different generators of self esteem as where it comes from. Everyone can gain it from different means. Be it good/self protecting boundaries or bad behaviors/Bullying/Supremacy etc. Its not just generated from being bad to others. Gain it from being/living consciously, Self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-assertiveness (without aggression), living purposefully, personal integrity. All learned from the book "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem". I love, and am, including Self-compassion as well. :) All great inclusions to have.
I have to point out that people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) don't actually have high self-esteem, which is why they appear to have such big egos, because they feel that they have to compensate for their insecurities. It's also why they lash out when they feel threatened. So equating high self esteem with narcissism is inaccurate.
People I work with have a LOT more problems with shame and feeling entirely worthless, and try to shrink, disappear. Having been bullied, ostracized, excluded, etc. I don't think I have the same experiences of self-esteem as mentioned in this video. In any case, self-compassion IS important. But getting rid of toxic shame messages and chronic shame or "carried shame" as Pia Mellody calls it is more what I'm surrounded with and folk need to know they're valid, and worthy. Not "special" - but that traumatized people, or people with chronic illness are deserving of love & attention & time & friends etc. We didn't all come from the popular girl clique.
Narcissistic personality disorder A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy: 1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) 2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
【自己愛性人格障害】 3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions) 4. Requires excessive admiration 5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations 6. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
I would disagree that high self esteem means being 'better than above average'; I would suggest that it is feeling enough even with our foibles as well as taking responsibility for our actions and behaviours. Gx
In your book "Self-Compassion", on the top of page 20, you write that 90 (ninety) percent of drivers think that they are better drivers than their road mates. Here, you say that the number is 97 (ninety seven) percent. Can't you get your facts straight? I'm actually irritated because I cited that number (90%) to a friend after reading it in your book, and now I come here and see this. Now neither number seems credible...
i used to h ave heavy duty toxic self esteem.. been sober 42 years now and i love myself....to the extent that sometimes i will see myself in a mirror or shop windowsometimes......i look at my reflection with love and respect and i say......dude you are f====== awesome, i know where you have come from. narcissism......nah!!!
Oh my god this is brilliant! You are right on point with all 5 videos, it made a lot of things click for me thank you for your help.
This is great work, self-compassion is really an interesting concept.
The narcissism scores of college students have climbed steeply since 1987, with 65% percent of modern-day students scoring higher in narcissism than previous generations
(Twenge, Konrath, Foster, Campbell, & Bushman, 2008).
I'm aiming for stability. Thank you for this.
Keep up the excellent research you are doing. I've scored an amazing 1.4 score in the test lol. Your words help A LOT.
Thanks :)
Thank you for your insights and compassion
There are different generators of self esteem as where it comes from. Everyone can
gain it from different means. Be it good/self protecting boundaries or bad
behaviors/Bullying/Supremacy etc. Its not just generated from being bad to others. Gain
it from being/living consciously, Self-acceptance, self-responsibility,
self-assertiveness (without aggression), living purposefully, personal
integrity. All learned from the book "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem". I love,
and am, including Self-compassion as well. :) All great inclusions to have.
Thank you Dr. I have learnt do much. I just posted my first video on Mindfulness. Mindfulness had really helped me and I am excited about sharing.
Thanks
I have to point out that people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) don't actually have high self-esteem, which is why they appear to have such big egos, because they feel that they have to compensate for their insecurities. It's also why they lash out when they feel threatened. So equating high self esteem with narcissism is inaccurate.
People I work with have a LOT more problems with shame and feeling entirely worthless, and try to shrink, disappear. Having been bullied, ostracized, excluded, etc. I don't think I have the same experiences of self-esteem as mentioned in this video. In any case, self-compassion IS important. But getting rid of toxic shame messages and chronic shame or "carried shame" as Pia Mellody calls it is more what I'm surrounded with and folk need to know they're valid, and worthy. Not "special" - but that traumatized people, or people with chronic illness are deserving of love & attention & time & friends etc. We didn't all come from the popular girl clique.
Narcissistic personality disorder
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy:
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
is that Me? Do I have that?
omae mo ganbare-yo～～(Jimmy Ohnishi)
【自己愛性人格障害】
3. Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. Requires excessive admiration
5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
I would disagree that high self esteem means being 'better than above average'; I would suggest that it is feeling enough even with our foibles as well as taking responsibility for our actions and behaviours. Gx
In your book "Self-Compassion", on the top of page 20, you write that 90 (ninety) percent of drivers think that they are better drivers than their road mates.
Here, you say that the number is 97 (ninety seven) percent.
Can't you get your facts straight? I'm actually irritated because I cited that number (90%) to a friend after reading it in your book, and now I come here and see this. Now neither number seems credible...