Hey Meghan, Why did you unlist this video? It still helps me tremendously for motivation and I imagine that it would be the same for others if it was listed. I hope you are doing good.
alright, you've convinced me to relist it! I wondered if I was being too harsh.. I feel like I have learned more about NFPs since I posted this and I wondered if I was not being empathetic enough in this
These videos have taught me a lot... but I do have a slightly different view on one thing mentioned here... As an INFP I can't honestly say that we're afraid of change, because it seems change is one of the things we crave most. We hate staying stagnant as much as we hate the mundane. That's why NFP's often make seemingly impulsive life-changing decisions. And I don't think INFP's are afraid of getting out of their comfort zones, because life in itself is outside of our comfort zone. I think the problem is that we often lack focus and healthy self-esteem an this makes us slower than most to reach our goals. So, it's not a fear of change that makes it difficult for us to reach our goals, it's that as we navigate a world that we simply don't fit in with at all, we have to stop and "catch our breath" more often than the people who do fit in. So it makes us look stagnant, but we're not... we're just slower. Also, I've noticed that as INFP's take steps to reach their goals, they're quieter about what they're doing- like, they literally don't tell anyone lol...so no one even notices that they ARE slowly reaching their goals. I could be wrong of course, Idk...
Sometimes change IS the INFPs comfort zone ;P I think that we are both right here but it is semantics, kind of. When I say "comfort zone" I really am just thinking about your personal Si. NPs want to break away from this but may still struggle to. You are clearly someone who is making moves to get out of your comfort zone and honor your F's desire.
P. Harvey I agree for me as an infp this is me also want to add staying true to feelings n morals n reflect on who I am keeping in line with true self n discover n hear my true self in noise n distraction n control of others all my life also takes time we feed everything back to our identity n our true self n follow our authentic self
I hate myself for being like this, i feel often really anxious and tormented about my own desires and dreams not being fulfilled, because I am too scared of the world. This video made me really emotional. I wish sometimes to be an entj or a j in general. I really really wish to be an artist, but everyone including myself keeps telling me that that’s not a job for the future. I just want to be happy and do something that I love. It’s so hard to love yourself when you’re constantly putting yourself down, because of this behavior I got myself social anxiety.
rnerual it’s true what you’re saying, we still have to push even though many of us have anxiety or depression. It’s hard, it’s very hard, it’s like a Russian roulette
Don’t trust BTS baby faces study art we need artists we need clip art and CGI and hundreds of artists make artwork every day for advertisements and tv shows and the internet. You can be an artist.
I watched this video a long time ago, but it speaks to me way more now. I have realized that I spend so much time tiptoeing around things I really want to do because I don't want to disturb the status quo. Comfort and inner peace is very important to me so sometimes I will be satisfied with "good enough". I'm also terrified that when I tell people what I really want they will make fun of me. I also knew that the brave thing, the right thing to do is to be my authentic self and do those things anyway, but I lacked the faith in my own ability to achieve what I really wanted. As I slowly broadened my horizons through a few reckless decisions and the process of leaving home as a young adult, I'm starting to wake up to how much I have missed out on life because I simply didn't think I could break down the walls keeping me in. It's like the story of the elephant tied to a tree when it could've pulled free anytime it wanted, but because it learned that it was stuck a long time ago it never tried to leave.
I'm an INFP who's been accused of laziness, procrastination and constant daydreaming. I was unaware that a lack of Se was the reason why but this explanation put everything in perspective. Your channel is quickly becoming one of my favorites.
I am one of INFPs also. Just sad that many times the world does not like daydreamers. I guess we always struggle with dream vs reality conflict. That also result social adaptation is often difficult.
Your friend not taking the risk has nothing to do with her stepping out of her comfort zone, it's about her fear of stepping into his uncomfortable zone. Our reasons for obsession are hard to explain so it's easier to avoid the argument. The whole "What's the worst thing that could happen," approach may work for those who are really in it for themselves, the ones that think of others have the concern that the person in question will look at them in a different way, as they always do, after they let down their guard and try, only to have the relationship altered from that moment on. This is why there is the all or nothing approach. There are good times in the middle but the repercussions for on the spot decision making can be too much of a gamble to commit to. We then feel like assholes for giving into side based arguments. It creates a dance that we then perform in general, in an effort to, not control, but at least have a hand on the wheel when controlling the direction of the argument.
This is me 100%. I always get accused of being lazy and unproductive but I don’t think people realize I’m always mentally consumed with anything that happens in my life. It’s just that I’m too scared to reach out for it. I’m so soooo passionate about anything that crosses my path but it’s the “what ifs” that kill me.
Totally true... The what ifs are nerve wrecking 😔... Am learning however, that instead of thinking of negative what ifs.. to focus instead on positive what ifs... 😇
Well, just a thought: I (ENFP) did get out of my comfort zone a lot. I did reconnect with my long lost family members, because I chose to be connected again (and happy I did make the effort to do so). When I don’t want to be connected it’s because it wouldn’t be healthy for me and others. When I occasionally get out of my comfort zone, I feel surrounded by magic and I Iove that feeling a lot. This made me think something else might be going on here....I think it is coming from something different than what the SE function profides. Something that is worth mentioning. The way ENFP‘s (and maybe INFP‘s too) might be wired, is that we build up energy trough a lot of focused inner thought processes that are not directly linked with our mostly unfocused outer processes and outer lifes. This may be the reason behind ENFP anxiety. The world becomes a scary place when you’re unable to find your place in it. There seems to be no room for our skills. This is very unfortunate because there is a lot of useful mental power going on behind the screen, but it’s difficult for others to notice the useful skills in mostly ENFP’s. We KNOW about things that are not necessary proven by systems or theories that are already layed out by other people in the now or in the past. You might question us in how we come to this knowing but we JUST KNOW. Believe me I have been proven a lot of ENFP knowing to be true. The way we process through systems just works very different than Se processing works. But, in my view it is not a lesser process that ENFP’s use, although unfortunately that is how it’s often portrayed (and this can make me mad and want to stick up for xNFP’s). We can reform and re-create, and more important we need to do this at our own flow, our own pace, as this is how our magic works. The problem for ENFP and INFP may be this: the systems that are in function in our world, are build upon repetition and they are routine based (not the natural systems, but people build systems). These are not created for people who have qualities in focused inner thought processes and are strong in mentality renewables. These qualities need to have space to move freely through the outer world, but can only do that when it’s being respected by others in the outer world. In my opinion this is why our type is getting stuck in their inner world versus the outer world.
{ENFP} There are plenty where I cannot form an objective image of myself. I can see the problem, I can see ways to fix the problem, but I can't see *myself* fixing the problem. These vids help me regain focus, Thank you Meg
This is SOO TRUE!!! EVERY WORD! It makes me feel kinda like a pre programmed robot that all of this is true- the missed oppurtunity with a guy I like (which STILL HURTS and Torments me over 5 years later), avoiding everything, losing contact with everybody and not being able to handle failure. Thank you for your spot on insight!
INFP daydreamer here, been called lazy my whole life, but my mind is always crazy busy... I havent followed my dreams because I am engulfed in other peoples emotional situations, and it has burnt me out so badly that I have resigned my own wants. I have always written music, but never hit a stride. No job I've had clicked for me. Now Im getting divorced from someone I have been with for 20 yrs, since HS(shes an ENTJ). She says Im wasting my life. Plus my daughter has autism and I have been a stay at home dad. I dote on her rhythms, it takes a lot to keep her doing well(which comes naturally to me). Now Im stuck looking for a career. I dont think I will ever get to the real me, and Im never going to have peace. Its just something I have accepted. I hate it. I have become cynical and a shut in, lost contact with a lot of friends because of it. I wish I could lift myself out of this, but I feel like my worst self. I have had my 'acting out' moments and the anger and resentment inside me is terrible. Everyday I feel worse, and these vids of yours really hit a painful nerve and I just had to vent. Thanks for listening
Have things changed in your life since you commented? If not, maybe you should consider therapy. Also there's this guy that might help you if you're open to spirituality. His name is Bashar.
I feel INFPs can have one foot in one world, and one foot in the other world. We have such vivid subconscious flow that we tap into when we are between worlds. When we do come back into reality from our subjective world, it takes some time for me, personally to adjust. As I get older, I find the adjustment period lessens, and I can, in a way be in two places at once, more often. Because of what I’ve been experiencing, and noticing, I find my movements are slower; slow sometimes not in a physical, sloth-like sense, but it does take longer for certain dreams, passions, and goals to manifest. I really enjoyed this. It’s very timely, and a lot of the examples you used are currently relevant for me. Thanks for sharing your messages. I’ve received this one loud, and clear. 😁✨🙏🏾🌹
This spoke to me HARD. When you said that NFPs love a thing so much that theyre afraid to act on it, it hit me like a sledgehammer because I've been saying that about my passion for YEARS and never understood why. I can't believe how well you've explained it. I now just gotta figure out how to stop being afraid of reality...
Your absolutely right, that fear of reality, of facing that extroverted sensing was very real for me. It was almost impossible for me to get out of my Ne for a period of my life, I was living with my father during that time and I essentially shut out everything besides my inner world. I would spend almost every waking moment thinking of the possibilities that could come out of finally facing reality and I would find a million reasons to never take a step forward. It took almost 8 long years to finally break that hold and now 3 year later my life has changed dramatically for the better. Great video, there are many NFPs out there that need to hear it.
*LONG COMMENT AHEAD!* This is unbelievably accurate. I don’t even know where to start. I’ve always had way too many dreams and desires. I’m 20 now and this has been going on since I was a child, my brain has always been this way. I’m always switching hobbies and interests, dropping them, picking up new ones, and never finishing one. I always live in my head and I’m hardly ever attuned to reality. I feel like I hide in my imagination that tells me, “Anything is possible and that’s so exciting, I’d love to do these things! What if I could do this? Or that? Or all of those too?” It makes me very scattered and very non-committed to things. I keep living in my daydreams and imaginary possibilities which give me some incredibly positive energy but all I do is hide there, I don’t actually do most of the things. I don’t even like being reminded of reality a lot of the time because I know these things haven’t happened and that reality isn’t nearly as cool as all of my imaginary possibilities which cheer me up and make me feel good. It’s like I LIVE in these. They give me so much hope even though they’re all imaginary and I keep creating new ones. I fear being stuck in the same situation all the time, as these hypothetical changes may never come true. That makes so overwhelmed and broken inside. I am always overwhelmed by my own thoughts because there is so much out there that seems interesting and as an extremely indecisive person, I can’t ever decide exactly what it is I want to do. This indecision stops me in my tracks a lot, and it’s another reason I have so many dreams. I LITERALLY ALWAYS think “maybe later, maybe when it feels right to me,” and I procrastinate everything. I never get out there and do, and if I have, very few times. I feel like reality never matches my dreams and ideas, which most people deem unrealistic. I would want it to feel right to me, and I feel like because of my random, non-committing ways I might start what I thought was a dream and reality won’t be as great as I envisioned it, and I’ll drop it again. I bought a piano, a guitar, I got into wanting to edit videos, music, etc., all at the same time and never finished anything. And if I acknowledge this, I feel bad about it. I’m DRIVEN by my hypothetical possibilities and the excitement they give me but I never seem to act on them. Sometimes I worry I’ll never be good at any of my dreams and I still haven’t done these things and like you said, if I think too much about it, I get those intense burning feelings on the inside and it’s terrible. I hate it. I feel like I should’ve acted and should’ve done these things and my biggest fear must be these possibilities never coming true. My life revolves around it and it’s such a mess. I needed this.
It's easier said than done. We literally live our introverted feeling which is so complex and confused, delusion when combined with extroverted intuition, u r right though. But that s out of our comfort zone so we fear to come out of our shell. R we cursed or what? We r misunderstood, said all bad things, insults, humiliated, bullied, undermined wat not..bcoz iam born this way and is no fault of mine! Iam angry on myself being born dis way!
INFP 3w4 here. Really didnt get my life going until my early 20s...feeding my Fi&Ne & crippling my Te with games and childish things to get away from sensors in my family most of my life was a norm. I was quite immature. Events happened to me where the world literally smacked me across the face and my perception of reality built on faulty principles was shattered and burned with hellfire. Find yourself before life finds you, The feeling of not understanding as INFP will really destroy any sense of self without the ability to really think it through and understand whats happening. When the pain subsides is where you evolve.. from a wing 4 or 5 into 3 and from an INFP-T to an A. The feeling is quite insane. Im not a narcissist at all but you know what? Try and stop me now, i speak 3 languages and have lived in 3 countries and run a business. Also thanks to psych, books, research and people here on youtube, I have created a philosophy or theory for eternal happiness that any person can learn regardless of knowing psych, regardless of getting over your insecurities and regardless of what you do in this world.. from simply a thought process you can create. Yes i believe happiness is a thought that must be created to love ones self, not to be found or preconceived through other things. If the world were to end today and be announced, then you would 'create' the idea for fear to live . But you can create an idea, and let happiness live here too. Master your insecurities. I laid this out for you fellow INFPs..being a dominant personality FI Dom is possible. ..thanks for the video Meg!
"Events happened to me where the world literally smacked me across the face and my perception of reality built on faulty principles was shattered and burned with hellfire." this is so real.. if you ignore Se, Se will smack you in the face! lol. I guess it keeps things exciting :p
@@MeghaMuse Allot of nfp's were forced after so many years to submit and when they get older the fear that was used to put them there takes them over and they don't know how to break the submissive role. I believe that is what allot of nfp's go through.
B4e 401 So is the thought process to create an idea and then love that idea? Any particular steps you can recommend that worked well for you? I mean when “creating” the idea?
As an INFP i often feel sidelined and socially excluded. I don't mean that everyone is horrible and 'poor me' i just feel i struggle to make connections I so crave to make. I would love a video addressing this and a few tips to help the INFP in social situations
yes this is a really good idea I need a video like this in my life right now where I'm struggling to make a connection with people and sometimes I give up and say your fine you don't need friends but deep down I know that's not true and that I do crave true friendships in my life not a lot, just one or more people that I can call true friends
I was traumatized by an event that happened years upon years ago and have been so, so afraid to seek help and speak out… I’m reminded every single day of the pain I experienced, yet I choose to endure my pain silently and alone. As you said, I’m tortured by the universe; I am going crazy by bottling up my feelings. I realize that, in the video, you are referring to a passion that has not been pursued (like a career), but I think this fear also applies to life decisions in general. I don’t want to do this, but I’m my heart I know I have to. That’s my dilemma. I’m scared and I tell myself all the time that I’m going to fix this, but I remain silent and stagnant. Thank you for this video. I think I really will do something…or at least I’ll try.
Wow I’m going through something similar rn. When I was younger I had a therapist who typed me to ISFP based off our therapy conversations. I experienced trauma a few years later and I took the MBTI test myself and types as INFP, and I’m hardcore N. I definitely believe that trauma is holding my senses back :(
Has less to do with comfort zones and more to do with our internal value system tied in with the fact that we already know the futility of most extroverted functions. If it isn't meeting our needs then with can't fit it in with our values. We will never choose a collective outcome over our own.
It's kinda true, but when we really feel comfortable we feel boundless and unlimited. I think we need to put our headspace right before we do things cause we know we're at our best there.
Perhaps a way for us INFPs to wrap our heads around Se is to reveal what the lack of Se means in practice. You know, get an understanding of Se through examples of where it's absent just like the way scientists conceptualise the substance known as dark matter. And Se is dark matter to INFPs, no? So, here's are few examples which might speak to my fellow INFPs 1) We are clumsy and tend to bump into things more often than other people. People with Se aren't as clumsy or as uncoordinated as us. In other words, Se makes you more graceful. 2) In acquiring practical skills like learning to drive a car, we will need more practice than Se users to pass the driving test and even then we probably aren't going to be the best drivers or love tasks like driving a car. Se users are able to manipulate physical tools in the environment and pick up physical skills almost effortlessly whereas INFPs are better able to manipulate mental tools. You know, turn psychological theories and abstract ideas into tools for emotional healing and to enlarge our inner world and build new rooms in our mind palace. 3) When it comes to sports like tennis which involve good hand-eye co-ordination and the need to hone our reflexes we'll be there for quite a while before we manage to return someone's serve. The ability to play sports at a good level is Se in action. If you suck at football etc then you don't have Se. In general, if you are a team player and love working on a project at work as part of a team you have high Se. If you find teamwork a core you are low on Se. 4) When we attend formal social gatherings like weddings etc. We ask friends or family whether what we plan to wear is appropriate for the occasion and we ask this kind of question repeatedly even though we may have been to half a dozen weddings and we will probably ask this question again before we attend the next wedding. Se users understand the subtleties of dress and style in social occasions. INFPs just have their own style no matter what the occasion. 5) Even though we may have attended quite a few formal meals with all the fancy cutlery and even though we know how to use a knife and fork, we never seem to remember which spoon, knife or fork is for which dish and end up looking to see what those around us are doing. Se users love to dine out and love the little details of their meals. INFPs think food is fuel for the body and best eaten alone. 6) when it comes to having a refined palette and a love for things like single malt whisky, caviar and so on, INFPs think Se users are mad for paying for all that fancy food and the Se users thinks we're weird that we don't know what fork or spoon to use and eat like a neanderthal. 7) When we walk into your house we want to help soothe your troubled soul and help you achieve your goals. The Se user is comparing your TV to theirs, looking at the cleanliness of your house and wondering whether your wallpaper would look great in one of their rooms. Se users care about the stuff in the physical environment. INFPs care about the stuff in your emotional environment. So, what to do, eh? I mean, Se just isn't natural to us so how do we reap some of its benefits. Well, as an INFP that has done a fair amount of community work and organised community events and set up local community groups and so on, I'd say take your most cherished values, principles and ideals and use them to set up a community event or group in your area. Don't focus on making it a success, though. In fact, pray that you fail miserably at it because the purpose is to learn from the experience so that you can find out what else you need to learn to be more effective in taking action in the future. In setting up a community group or event, you will learn how to market your event/group, book the venue, set up a treasurer's account, purchase public liability insurance, liaise with local organisations like the police and so on and then analyse the data afterwards. You know, tally how many people attended, what the final cost of the event/group was and discover if your group/event managed to break-even or make a profit that could be reinvested in the group/event. Crucially, you'll learn whether, despite the exhaustion you felt afterwards, it was worthwhile taking your abstract values, principles and ideals and trying to make them a reality. Of course, if you want examples of community groups and events you can organise, let me know. After all, as you might already expect, I've got a lot of resources I can pass on. Oh, and in case it isn't obvious this whole comment is Se in action. Now, for a bit of inspiration. RUNNING FESTIVAL Outside the Community Flat, we wait for the minibus to take us to Rouken Glen. They bounce on their chairs as we drive up the road, and bounce on the grass as we get out. ‘I’m going to win my race,’ says Craig. He smiles. We wait amongst chattering mothers and heavyset fathers with beetroot faces. The whistle is blown: Craig is off... He finishes in second place but does not believe he’s a winner. Like I said to Craig at the time, you are still a winner if you come second. Craig had the courage to run his race, but do you have the courage to run your race?
I’m an ENFP and I absolutely prefer to be alone because I drift off into my head even in crowds. I love people but I have to work at my ability to be with them. I can hold a room full of people with a story but then it feels phony when I’m done. Like I just did a performance.
If MBTI isn't real then I'll be damned man (lmao thatsounded funny.) You really get us NFPs, I wait for the perfect moment, and I think so much more than I do. I feel like I have other people like me. Thanks so much for giving me motivation to actually put myself out there. Much love friend
I had to pause at 8:36... Oh my gosh. You have literally explained my inner turmoil for the past 5 or so years, and now I have no excuse to keep tricking myself into thinking "maybe it'll feel right later." I've wanted to be a writer for such a long time and have made myself miserable over it... And I just have to do it. It'll never feel comfortable and I just have to do it. My mother's advice: "they will be a time when the time is right." But she's ENFP/INFP too! Thank you for this, but the truth is terrifying...
I used to wear the mask of an extrovert so I always was hesitant in owning the label INFP, thinking I was an ENFP because that sounded more exciting and stuck to the extroverted character. That character is now dead, and I'm revisiting these personality types and it's kind of intense how much closer I connect now that I own up to the fact that I'm actually an introvert. Finding the new balance can feel insane.
WoW! As an INFP you are spot on! Being INFP is almost like a curse. I even tried to change myself to another type which does not work. You are who you are! I have drug my feet for so long that God and the Universe stepped in to take care of me. Now I seem to be stuck in limbo waiting on something to happen drifting from state to state. Not sure how I got in this position but something of a Great power always makes sure I have just to enough to get me to the next day. Although I have a tough lifestyle right now I have Gratitude and Love in my Heart. I Thank God and the Universe and Everyone involved for taking care of me. Not sure what the future holds but am confident that it will all work. GOD is in control. The Universe listens to God. It is so hard to take action when you don't know what action to take and just trying to survive starts to consume all your time. I don't even know what I'm fighting for anymore. Freedom? Happiness? Wealth Health and Abundance? I do thank the Universe. From a place of Gratitude. Thank you. Thank you for all your great messages. You help a lot of people. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Peace Love and Prosperity to You and Everyone!
Hey Paul! So yeah just talking from personal experiences here, but yeah, it can definitely be hard faced with our "super duper" function stack. We are on a never ending journey to learn about who we are with seemingly no end in sight! This is just what we do and it is not something you should go against but just harness it. I agree that it does feel like a curse periodically, but at the same time a good bit of the other types who "are not" on a self seeking mission wish they knew themselves more. This is opposed to them typically focusing on the things "outside of them" and not "internal" which we prefer to do and also feel most comfortable at. Other types may view happiness in life via wealth, corporate status, materialistic things, etc. but I will just tell you that I am an INFP who has been in that life (still am) and it IS NOT where happiness is for us. I'm in process to actually start working out of all the corporate-ness and go experience what “I” want to do more and more. Ever watch "The Secret Life of Walter MItty"? GREAT INFP movie (my goal is Sean Penns role at the end).. At 38 I have spent MANY years into figuring out who I am (likes / strengths but most importantly my dislikes / weaknesses). I'm not perfect and surely have MY ISSUES, but the more you put into yourself (especially being the INFP type) you will overtime find better meaning and the individualism that we desire starts to validate more through confidence which allows you to "BE YOU" which you will actually find more joy in than having 100 friends or whatever. I'm not a super spiritual person but I have found a new INFP (she's cool) on TH-cam who does speak to religion throughout her INFP based videos. Her name (Channel) is McCall L. Sean
I hate anything that keeps me up at night. You know what keeps me up at night the most? Regret. I've gotten to a point where I push myself to do things the moment I think of it. It's a 50-50. It can go amazing or horribly wrong but either way, I can tell myself when I question myself at 3 am that I did something. I didn't just let it slide. I didn't die this time. Shakespeare says "cowards die a million times before their death." I keep that quote on my mind at all times. I've put myself out there and as exhausting and uncomfortable as it gets, I'm left with a feeling of satisfaction. Btw I'm an ENFP. I also want to thank you for this video. Really made me emotional. This video was totally raw and has the right amount of brutal honesty to get me going. Thank you.
this is true. as an infp i always loved art.infact i was bad at school but really was talented at art.i always wanted to put out some art.but i always felt guilty about it.because what makes my art so special?,am i being an egoist?
it's not egotistical! each individual perspective is special. it is only ego when you think your perspective is better than anyone elses. but remember.. not EVERYONE has the same desire as you, so you aren't competing with anyone else. you are trying to be the best YOU you can be
I think that this comment clearly demonstrates something that goes on in an INFP's mind- with bad Se, we haven't bothered to go out into the real world to get feedback on the validity of our goals or how applicable they would actually be- so many times we assume that a lot of people would either have that goal, which would make it a million times harder to achieve it, or we could assume that no one else has that desire due to which we could face a lot of backlash and ridicule. Coupled with that we are uncertain that our aspirations will have any value in the Te domain so we end up imagining a bunch of different scenarios that seem to prove that there are insurmountable obstacles to our goals, due to which we just keep freaking out internally and are stuck in our own heads. It also doesn't help that our goals and desires can fluctuate quite frequently and we can get quite bored easily due to Ne. This is why XNFPs are on a constant quest for motivation because our motivation is rarely sustained, the way it would be for an ISFP with Ne blind. So yeah, being an INFP isn't pretty.
Also, I think that with bad Se, we also feel chronically unprepared. For. Every. Single. Thing. Due to which we fear taking action, because in our minds, action is useless if you are not prepared.
Oh I understand how you feel. Even now, me choosing to pursue creative writing as a Major, I felt like it may be a challenge to my sisters fiance, and my ex. Not in my intentions but I did not want to challenge anyone I just wanted to do what I wanted to do. I didn't want what I want to be in association with anyone else. It's my heart, yet, around me, I have to get past these obstacles. To not feel as if I'm being egotistical (I often feel this too), because I don't want to fight anyone for this position, but I don't want to not do what I want to do. (This eats into my anxiety constantly as I struggle to remain here.)
As an ENFP I completely agree with this! It's actually what I've been struggling with most recently. I feel like ENFPs are so self-growth oriented that we will naturally try to strengthen anything that holds us back from our wild dreams and desires or from being the best person we can be... save anything Se related lol We could have all the knowledge and potential in the world and just not do anything with it. I recognize it, most of my ENFP friends recognize it, and yet we just don't know how to fix it. it's incredibly frustrating. It's like the other functions are tough for us to grow in but we manage to find a way but Se is just so foreign to me that I really only value it when I'm stressed out and trying to find ways out of my spiraling thoughts (so usually socializing, drinking, making impulsive decisions, stress eating, etc) I was just recently diagnosed with ADHD and that has helped me tremendously. Long story short, I was smart enough and self-aware enough to hide my symptoms, get good grades without trying too hard, adapt socially by following social cues of others, etc. What gave me away and got me diagnosed at age 21 was my life-long inability to initiate and finish tasks, break them down, do my homework, clean my room, and other general executive functioning tasks. While none of these are Se alone, Se plays a large role. I could figure out a way around everything else but just couldn't seem to leanr those Se tasks. For my fellow ENFPs (and anyone struggling with similar issues) (most people do to an extent) look into ADHD tools! The ENFP brain is naturally very similar to someone with ADHD so even without the disorder you can really benefit by learning how to make these things easier for yourself! Also, pretty much anyone can benefit from an ADHD structure in your life since it's meant to help those who are so polar to executive functioning skills (among more, but that's what my biggest issue is). I have a VERY long way to go considering these habits are 21 years in the making, but I was feeling incredibly discouraged until I started looking into and asking about different structures, routines, and tips.
Wow. You are putting to words. Things I've always felt but didn't know how to express. It makes sense that most of my stories start with things that happened to me and that I have a hard time understanding others unless I can talk about it to myself.
Damn! Guilty as charged. We get beat down in life by being so impractical that we retreat into ourselves (our comfort zone) all the more making us resent, fear and reject extroverted sensing ad nauseam. It's a vicious circle.
I'm an ENFP and this is very true. I've always had many desires that were keeping on coming back to me since my early years of age(I'm 22 now) and I was just simply too afraid to make them happen(music, for example) and instead of fulfilling them, I have always chosen to do something else that is less personal and more in my comfort zone, in order to feel a little bit better about myself :D Guess I just need to give it a go to free myself and not to feel guilty in the future.. But it's not easy when your mind is revolving around every possible thing that might go wrong :< Anyway, thank you for another great video ❤ ( and sorry if I made a mistake in my english)
Oh my love. As an enfp who also is all about music, the amount of times I've literally been put down for wanting to do this is crazy but I don't know where I've gotten this strong mindset from. Recently I've just told myself it's better to work hard for something you love (my example is, if I'm called at 2am for a job I want it to be something I love) than to settle. We can do this hun!
I seriously cried when you got emotional. When you said about doing things when the time is right I connected so much. I can never just do things half assed, it has to be when I can give myself over to it. BUT I can be opportunistic at the same time. I have realized that I will never truly live if I don't start jumping at things I want. I have 47% extroverted sense, and 51% introverted sense. I really try to be a balanced person and live by both sides of the coin. And it's bloody hard to grow and learn how to self motivate myself when I'm not "feeling it" and I still struggle with this every day. I have so many hobbies and I feel like I'm worthless and lazy when I'm not constantly working at it and I then become afraid of it altogether. Same with getting my license. I have been nagged about that for years because I'm very afraid of failure. But it's what needs to happen and I realize that, especially now I've seen this.
I love the way that you cut through the bullshit and seemed to know and feel the way we could all live by taking those actions. ENFP here. Knowing and feeling things that are part of my core and taking steps to make sure it's at the Forefront of my life definitely helps me living more fulfilling life
When life forcrs us to shoot the bullet, thrn we freaking shoot. But we hate having to shoot and you'll have to waot before we shoot again becaize it takes along time to fins another bullet. In other words Se is so damn exhausting that after uaing it for awhile we need an extra long break.
I appreciate that the most insightful videos on INFPs comes not from a channel by an INFP or an INFJ, but an ENFJ. You're great at studying us. Shame I can't return the favor...except I am a LOT better at understanding Fe instead of being annoyed by it now that I've been studying typology long enough to get a decent feel for things.
Yo veo tus videos con subtitulos, y usando el traductor para saber que significan las palabras. Lo siento si no escribo en ingles, se me da my mal que al intentarlo creo que no se va a entender. Thank you for made the video, I crying, you have the big truth, all of us have to faight and be brave for what we want, with our desires. And Its made me think about my past, and now (Im not a child, Im a woman), be afraid for reality, and knowing all that stuffs its gonna fail, be wrong, be my fault and hurts too much. Some of the experiences was so depth, i afraid of the loop (repeat infinite times?), because I feel like that, like i cant go away from posibilities. But I decide to make the change, I go to therapy, I want all my love to make me grown, be the woman that I want. (all my hopes to you Meghan L., its me, an infp grateful)
I love this video, thank you for addressing this topic! I've been smashing a lot of these NFP fears like quitting my job, joining a dating app, putting my art out there, going traveling, reaching out to friends first, and grabbing or crafting opportunities to shape my life into what I want. Even though these things are SCARY AS HELL, I still feel weirdly the most like "my true self" when I face my fears and just do things that before I would have considered "unlike me." I was terrified to start, but it got to the point I was so unhappy with my stagnant life that I was going insane that I never did anything to take action and make changes, just like you mentioned! I started a domino effect that led to me making all the right changes--while still respecting my introverted nature, of course! It's helped so much once I accepted that to grow, I had to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
WOW. This brought me to tears near the end. I’ve heard this in different ways for INFP’s. But the way you explained it and the details you provide, wow. It really hit me. And you are spot on. My ISTP partner tells me to “just do it” all the time 😂. Thank you for telling me I’ll be tortured forever. I believe it. It’s been torturing me for years already. Thank you!
I’m an INFP and want kids but the time never seems right and I’m terrified of leaving my comfort zone. If I don’t have a kid, I’ll feel like I missed a great opportunity. Yes you’re right, it’s making me scream on the inside! I hate being INFP. It’s so freakin painful.
Your point was that INFPs have to just go out use Se, while I got from you that I have to use Si to make Se easier, sort of accustom myself a bit with things so that I don't have to use Se so much.... :) can definitely see the "sneakiness" in play here :)
Did you peek into my head while i was asleep Meghan?🤣 I feel like I need to watch this video every morning when I wake up before I go out into the world! "If you can be brave now you can avoid a lot of turmoil later"❤
There was so much to reflect on here, I really value your perspective its helpful to hear a lot of what you've said. But somehow so much of this feels off. The idea of chasing after desire or fearing stepping outside of our comfort zones seems off and I don't know how to explain. We just aren't this action oriented. Our desires are fleeting and personally I don't think we regret as much as this. We aren't seeking tangible proof of our existence, we are seeking internal meaning and reflection and understanding. We want the inner experience, we seek the inner harmony of finally making sense of all the chaos. I almost take comfort in choosing to not follow up on a desire, i would rather be hung up on a romantic interest for years than actualize it because the internal reflection is fulfilling, this is the life experience we seek, its the internal understanding. We are quiet novelty seekers, we have so much more life experience than people give us credit, we experience people and observe situations, we carry around this internal wisdom and frankly, we just don't care about actualizing it as much as we care about exploring something in depth. As terrible as it is, this is why we pine in melancholy and tragedy and why we torture ourselves, we want to plunge into the depths of the human condition. What really injures the XNFP is not the lack of outward success, but the mistaken interpretation that our internal subjective la la land is in anyway representative of the experiences of others, its the internal isolation that kills us and the disconnect from experiences that enable us to peer into the subjective experiences of others. I don't know, maybe some of us crave success, but most of us are not as preoccupied with volition and much as we yearn to explore the endless subjective experience. we are well aware dreams are fleeting. its not so bad.
Is depth built through repetition though? It sounds like living an experience for a long period of time without acting on it can lead to limited perspective as only one experience is being hyper-focused. I’m not meaning to insult, but other personality types can benefit so much from your depth and taking action on it might open new doors for perspective.
@@julialucas3738 My thoughts on that are i would point out the part of your statement where you suggest inaction leads a person to hyperfocus too long on one experience. I don't think that is the case. I think the internal experience varies depending on where and how we shift our focus on the subject of our interest. We overlap the subject with multiple perspectives, and if anything, we go off on perspective tangents and delve into different areas of interest before returning back to the same subject with new perspective. INFP's can absolutely get stuck in ruminating or limited focus, or circular reasoning, but sometimes we repeat in our head until something jumps out at us. Our world is in our minds, and that's where the perspectives develop, that's what we have to offer. Taking action can give us variety sometimes and we do do things also. If anything we are more set back by not developing goal oriented action focused thinking, it would round out our inner perspective development.
I finally got it that Si is not about action like Se is, therefore i as an Infp and i see that other types that also have a strong Si, we struggle with actually doing things, working, actually making action. For me personally to make action is very difficult cause it doesn't come naturally. I act intensively usually moved by strong emotions, eitherwise i have to push myself in this action mode but i get pretty exhausted after some weeks of intense doing things quickly, although i hope that was a coincidence and i do can be more active and productive and efficient. Thanks Meghan, you have really intereseting thoughts! The other video about Infps having Fi and being self sufficient thus, was very helpful for me, to understand the actual worthness of my brain functioning (you know we infps are quite unefficient in life😂) Big kisses, hope you are doing well😘
You keep on saying sneaky. No wonder I’m a Slytherin. We infps do have a lot of cunning involved to get what we want. Lol. Anyway my partner is an ESTJ and we’ve been together for 7 years. same cognitive function stack but reversed. I learned a lot from him including to just go and do it and make shit happen to get what I want. He taught me to make my dream a reality by becoming more assertive and to get out of my comfort zone. It’s a hard process and I’m still learning, but yes infps greatest strengths are also their greatest weaknesses. Too much thinking and not enough doing.
I find this so emotionally charging. It’s so fantastic to feel and release my emotions. What you are saying feels so on point. When raw emotion comes up I believe you can’t fake that, and if I would personalize this, I am aware that this is me showing up as my authentic self . I have been doing a lot of work these last two years. Digging in really deep with healing what I thought was past childhood trauma, which has all been great growth and healing. However, this personality identification that I have just stumbled on, and to give you credit, your beautiful insightful, kind and encouraging words has really broken something wide open. Where I once thought I was a victim to my childhood trauma, which is real,. I now realize I have been in survival mode all this years. But the truth is I haven’t known who I am all these years I have been living in fear of my feelings of the external world. But now I feel empowered that I have this knowledge that I understand I will always respond to the world this way. And with this knowledge I no longer need to be a victim. It’s crazy,, I am not identified by my outside world. I am love, I am kindness I am compassion. I care and love deeply. I’m so grateful. Thank you
Holy moly. This is incredible. I mean, truly, you nailed it. I’m an INFP, and everything you have said it true. I hold myself back from truly embracing things I’m passionate about because I am constantly afraid of what will happen if things don’t work out. I’m always holding out for “the right moment” to do things. That moment is now!! I have to do things when I think of them!! I’ve been wanting to start an Instagram where I post all of my poetry because I love poetry and I have hundreds of poems and I want to share them but I always hold myself back because I can’t think of the right way to present my poetry but I have to just do it! And there’s a guy that I’m in love with and I know there’s something between us and none of us acknowledge it and I don’t want to say anything because my family thinks I can do better even though I’ve dated anybody in all 21 years of my life but he’s literally the sweetest, most thoughtful person and he deserves the world and he never leaves my head. There’s so many risks I’m so scared to take because there’s so many possible outcomes and I’m almost paralyzed to take action despite how much I really want to. I want to die a writer who has lived and loved and at least changed the lives of a few people
this is so true ! i suppressed my desire to study psychology back in first year of commerce, and now here i am 2 years later , i dropped commerce , switched to arts to study psychology.... i literally had to be bullied into action to pursue what i wanted
Good pep talk. Stop thinking and start executing. Easier said than done, I do love overthinking things. But when I actually start to get my hands dirty it feels amazing! I think weak Se is what holds us back from being awesome artists. To be good at something you have to practice, make it, remake it, and just do do do. Maybe this is why the ISFP is said to be the "artist", they have that savior Se working for them?
Oh man! Thank you!! I should listen this everyday. Maybe then I will slowly adapt your advice in my life. Keep making videos. You're very helpful. INFP here
You are amazing, but I have never met an ENFJ I didn't like. Sometimes an ENFJ's personality can be a bit much for me - like before my cup of coffee - but I've learned that has more to do with my mood than who they are. Thank you for putting your time and effort into these videos. As an INFP hitting midlife, I can honestly say that your videos are deeply inspiring. I have been working on my desires... but, I let a few of my deepest desires get by me. I can only speak for myself, but sometimes my emotions get so strong, internally, that I cannot think, let alone speak or act. I have no problem speaking (and even flirting) with women, for instance, unless I really like her. However, I do believe that I have been successful in tackling most of my desires. So, what did you do to get so knowledgeable about MBTI? What do you suggest one read to get an understanding of each type? Seminars? Etc. I work in education (special education and coordinator for after school programs), and I really want to start a nonprofit of some kind to help people build character, critical thinking skills, and to learn how to find their individuality.
the dark night of the soul made me move or moving still into a higher energy .. I had no choice almost.. it was rough. I feel like you got it very well because i didnt really understand this but this helps. it made me cry .. lots of feelings .. I never thought about the things we want never go away .
Thank you!! I agree with XNFs having very low Se ... and your words were very encouraging ❤️ I am going through a tough time where I am constantly getting beat up because of not excecuting.🥊 Thank you so so much for your video 🙏 - Enfp
Typically if I jump into something rather than finding the best way to do it beforehand I'm much less happy with the result, so I found it actually is better for me to plan plan plan. I suspect that's not the case for other types
Thank you… so much for this. This was exactly what I needed to hear, in regards to a certain person in my life right now. The feelings have been railing against my chest for the longest time; sometimes they get so powerful I feel physically sick. We were extremely close, but I can feel distance building and I don't know why, and I've been trying to just outwait the feelings, but it's like the farther away I stray, the more intense it gets and it just consumes me and I could stop it just by reaching out but I don't. Every time I try, my mind is hit with a flurry of everything that could go wrong and normalcy is lost in the sea of possibilities. So I need a push beyond it, infinity + 1. This video is a push.
i asked the universe for a sign whether i should sign up for a course i've been thinking about doing all year. i think this could have been it. enfp life
@@MeghaMuse Thank so much for ur support! My mums an enfj like u. I told her today i would sign up and she said - sure sign up if u know your definitely going to use it. ENFP response - how will i know that?! im not psychic - i was just planning on doing it and seeing what opportunities arise. its all so hard... !!! i cant guarantee ill use it. i wont sign up! lol. enfp life
Not an xnfp type but I've definitely gone through this. For me, I had missed opportunities from being oblivious to people projecting their emotions onto me and not being strong minded enough to stick through it.
You have me in tears because you're so right. My heart Is already on fire, and it IS ABSOLUTE torture. But how can an isolated INFP achieve their dreams when they feel it might be too late?
Haha wow, hearing this perspective was so interesting. The desire to do something but taking hours thinking about it and waiting for the opportunity is quite accurate for me.
I didn't knew it is because I am an ENFP... This too? Wow.. Knowing my MBTI type is incredible... I know all the things you told in this video already. But hearing it being said by another human who understands that, who says all these things in one video, who says the things that are all true for me... I couldn't imagine saying all that at once to my friends. It's really deep, well thought and accurate.
(INFP) Uh... Why did this video make me catch so many feels? Something in your voice sounded kind of... sad, in a way? Idk. Like there's something you really wanted and were unsure you could ever have it, and it frustrated you. Maybe that's just me imagining things.
I'm called to do music my whole life, somehow didn't do it. Besides fear of reality etc, I see people like Prince translate their strong feeling directly into their music, and then I sit down with my instrument and realise the mountain I have to climb to be able to express myself and I get bored and distracted. It was funny cause when u mentioned that everybody has something they desire I already thought "That's music for me", and then a minute later you mentioned just that. Crazy stuff.
Wow Meghan, every single sentence was SPOT ON!! You couldn't have explained it better. Thank you for taking the time. Your understanding of XNFPs is excellent. Seriously, you must be hiding a little infp hobbit in your car trunk who's telling you what to say haha XD !
Hey Meghan,
Why did you unlist this video? It still helps me tremendously for motivation and I imagine that it would be the same for others if it was listed.
I hope you are doing good.
alright, you've convinced me to relist it! I wondered if I was being too harsh.. I feel like I have learned more about NFPs since I posted this and I wondered if I was not being empathetic enough in this
@@MeghaMuse You are over thinking, love ENFJ's :-) We can handle some criticism.
My wife is an infj and my art scares her and life is tough right now so I feel so much in what u r saying. Beautiful 😊
@@MeghaMuseI felt your heart in this video. You want us to be better. You want to help us. You were not being harsh at all.
These videos have taught me a lot... but I do have a slightly different view on one thing mentioned here... As an INFP I can't honestly say that we're afraid of change, because it seems change is one of the things we crave most. We hate staying stagnant as much as we hate the mundane. That's why NFP's often make seemingly impulsive life-changing decisions. And I don't think INFP's are afraid of getting out of their comfort zones, because life in itself is outside of our comfort zone. I think the problem is that we often lack focus and healthy self-esteem an this makes us slower than most to reach our goals. So, it's not a fear of change that makes it difficult for us to reach our goals, it's that as we navigate a world that we simply don't fit in with at all, we have to stop and "catch our breath" more often than the people who do fit in. So it makes us look stagnant, but we're not... we're just slower. Also, I've noticed that as INFP's take steps to reach their goals, they're quieter about what they're doing- like, they literally don't tell anyone lol...so no one even notices that they ARE slowly reaching their goals. I could be wrong of course, Idk...
Sometimes change IS the INFPs comfort zone ;P I think that we are both right here but it is semantics, kind of. When I say "comfort zone" I really am just thinking about your personal Si. NPs want to break away from this but may still struggle to. You are clearly someone who is making moves to get out of your comfort zone and honor your F's desire.
I see, that's really interesting... @@MeghaMuse
💙💙
P. Harvey I agree for me as an infp this is me also want to add staying true to feelings n morals n reflect on who I am keeping in line with true self n discover n hear my true self in noise n distraction n control of others all my life also takes time we feed everything back to our identity n our true self n follow our authentic self
this.
I hate feeling attacked, but... there's a certain way ENFJs can give their advice in such an authentic, heartfelt way that I take it to heart. :)
I hate myself for being like this, i feel often really anxious and tormented about my own desires and dreams not being fulfilled, because I am too scared of the world.
This video made me really emotional.
I wish sometimes to be an entj or a j in general.
I really really wish to be an artist, but everyone including myself keeps telling me that that’s not a job for the future.
I just want to be happy and do something that I love.
It’s so hard to love yourself when you’re constantly putting yourself down, because of this behavior I got myself social anxiety.
rnerual it’s true what you’re saying, we still have to push even though many of us have anxiety or depression.
It’s hard, it’s very hard, it’s like a Russian roulette
I chose all the wrong subjects to study for 2 years and I feel so worn out and demotivated with everything :(
...I should of listened to my heart
Don’t trust BTS baby faces study art we need artists we need clip art and CGI and hundreds of artists make artwork every day for advertisements and tv shows and the internet. You can be an artist.
Dylan ENFP what did you choose and what wants your heart ?
Mippet thank you that’s so sweet
I will definitely be an artist
I want to live a happy life and do something i love
how many truth bombs can you put in 1 video lol
I hate how she decodes us .... Its a luv-hate relationship...
I watched this video a long time ago, but it speaks to me way more now. I have realized that I spend so much time tiptoeing around things I really want to do because I don't want to disturb the status quo. Comfort and inner peace is very important to me so sometimes I will be satisfied with "good enough". I'm also terrified that when I tell people what I really want they will make fun of me. I also knew that the brave thing, the right thing to do is to be my authentic self and do those things anyway, but I lacked the faith in my own ability to achieve what I really wanted. As I slowly broadened my horizons through a few reckless decisions and the process of leaving home as a young adult, I'm starting to wake up to how much I have missed out on life because I simply didn't think I could break down the walls keeping me in. It's like the story of the elephant tied to a tree when it could've pulled free anytime it wanted, but because it learned that it was stuck a long time ago it never tried to leave.
I'm an INFP who's been accused of laziness, procrastination and constant daydreaming. I was unaware that a lack of Se was the reason why but this explanation put everything in perspective. Your channel is quickly becoming one of my favorites.
Thank youuu! :D
Same. My mom says I am scatterbrained whenever I try to explain myself
Strong Fi Ne are responsible too!
An INFP's laziness can happen for many reasons. Ni critic being the most prominent reason. We have a lot of downsides ^~^
I am one of INFPs also. Just sad that many times the world does not like daydreamers. I guess we always struggle with dream vs reality conflict. That also result social adaptation is often difficult.
The video summed up in a sentence: be a realist, dare to do things, it's better to try and fail than regret never having tried.
Correctomondo
Your friend not taking the risk has nothing to do with her stepping out of her comfort zone, it's about her fear of stepping into his uncomfortable zone. Our reasons for obsession are hard to explain so it's easier to avoid the argument. The whole "What's the worst thing that could happen," approach may work for those who are really in it for themselves, the ones that think of others have the concern that the person in question will look at them in a different way, as they always do, after they let down their guard and try, only to have the relationship altered from that moment on. This is why there is the all or nothing approach. There are good times in the middle but the repercussions for on the spot decision making can be too much of a gamble to commit to. We then feel like assholes for giving into side based arguments. It creates a dance that we then perform in general, in an effort to, not control, but at least have a hand on the wheel when controlling the direction of the argument.
This is me 100%. I always get accused of being lazy and unproductive but I don’t think people realize I’m always mentally consumed with anything that happens in my life. It’s just that I’m too scared to reach out for it. I’m so soooo passionate about anything that crosses my path but it’s the “what ifs” that kill me.
Me too, I feel sometimes my inner self burning myself to death bc I don't pursue my desires
Totally true... The what ifs are nerve wrecking 😔... Am learning however, that instead of thinking of negative what ifs.. to focus instead on positive what ifs... 😇
Damn. She just called out my whole life.
Same
Literally yes
After I finally went to Egypt, I asked myself why I didn’t do this sooner. It’s what I really wanted to do for a long time!
Well, just a thought: I (ENFP) did get out of my comfort zone a lot. I did reconnect with my long lost family members, because I chose to be connected again (and happy I did make the effort to do so). When I don’t want to be connected it’s because it wouldn’t be healthy for me and others. When I occasionally get out of my comfort zone, I feel surrounded by magic and I Iove that feeling a lot. This made me think something else might be going on here....I think it is coming from something different than what the SE function profides. Something that is worth mentioning. The way ENFP‘s (and maybe INFP‘s too) might be wired, is that we build up energy trough a lot of focused inner thought processes that are not directly linked with our mostly unfocused outer processes and outer lifes. This may be the reason behind ENFP anxiety. The world becomes a scary place when you’re unable to find your place in it. There seems to be no room for our skills. This is very unfortunate because there is a lot of useful mental power going on behind the screen, but it’s difficult for others to notice the useful skills in mostly ENFP’s. We KNOW about things that are not necessary proven by systems or theories that are already layed out by other people in the now or in the past. You might question us in how we come to this knowing but we JUST KNOW. Believe me I have been proven a lot of ENFP knowing to be true. The way we process through systems just works very different than Se processing works. But, in my view it is not a lesser process that ENFP’s use, although unfortunately that is how it’s often portrayed (and this can make me mad and want to stick up for xNFP’s). We can reform and re-create, and more important we need to do this at our own flow, our own pace, as this is how our magic works. The problem for ENFP and INFP may be this: the systems that are in function in our world, are build upon repetition and they are routine based (not the natural systems, but people build systems). These are not created for people who have qualities in focused inner thought processes and are strong in mentality renewables. These qualities need to have space to move freely through the outer world, but can only do that when it’s being respected by others in the outer world. In my opinion this is why our type is getting stuck in their inner world versus the outer world.
{ENFP}
There are plenty where I cannot form an objective image of myself. I can see the problem, I can see ways to fix the problem, but I can't see *myself* fixing the problem.
These vids help me regain focus, Thank you Meg
[ENFP]
It scares me to think of what and how much I'm capable of.
This is SOO TRUE!!! EVERY WORD! It makes me feel kinda like a pre programmed robot that all of this is true- the missed oppurtunity with a guy I like (which STILL HURTS and Torments me over 5 years later), avoiding everything, losing contact with everybody and not being able to handle failure. Thank you for your spot on insight!
INFP daydreamer here, been called lazy my whole life, but my mind is always crazy busy... I havent followed my dreams because I am engulfed in other peoples emotional situations, and it has burnt me out so badly that I have resigned my own wants. I have always written music, but never hit a stride. No job I've had clicked for me. Now Im getting divorced from someone I have been with for 20 yrs, since HS(shes an ENTJ). She says Im wasting my life. Plus my daughter has autism and I have been a stay at home dad. I dote on her rhythms, it takes a lot to keep her doing well(which comes naturally to me). Now Im stuck looking for a career. I dont think I will ever get to the real me, and Im never going to have peace. Its just something I have accepted. I hate it. I have become cynical and a shut in, lost contact with a lot of friends because of it. I wish I could lift myself out of this, but I feel like my worst self. I have had my 'acting out' moments and the anger and resentment inside me is terrible. Everyday I feel worse, and these vids of yours really hit a painful nerve and I just had to vent. Thanks for listening
Have things changed in your life since you commented? If not, maybe you should consider therapy. Also there's this guy that might help you if you're open to spirituality. His name is Bashar.
I feel INFPs can have one foot in one world, and one foot in the other world. We have such vivid subconscious flow that we tap into when we are between worlds. When we do come back into reality from our subjective world, it takes some time for me, personally to adjust. As I get older, I find the adjustment period lessens, and I can, in a way be in two places at once, more often. Because of what I’ve been experiencing, and noticing, I find my movements are slower; slow sometimes not in a physical, sloth-like sense, but it does take longer for certain dreams, passions, and goals to manifest. I really enjoyed this. It’s very timely, and a lot of the examples you used are currently relevant for me. Thanks for sharing your messages. I’ve received this one loud, and clear. 😁✨🙏🏾🌹
This spoke to me HARD. When you said that NFPs love a thing so much that theyre afraid to act on it, it hit me like a sledgehammer because I've been saying that about my passion for YEARS and never understood why. I can't believe how well you've explained it.
I now just gotta figure out how to stop being afraid of reality...
Your absolutely right, that fear of reality, of facing that extroverted sensing was very real for me. It was almost impossible for me to get out of my Ne for a period of my life, I was living with my father during that time and I essentially shut out everything besides my inner world. I would spend almost every waking moment thinking of the possibilities that could come out of finally facing reality and I would find a million reasons to never take a step forward. It took almost 8 long years to finally break that hold and now 3 year later my life has changed dramatically for the better. Great video, there are many NFPs out there that need to hear it.
*LONG COMMENT AHEAD!*
This is unbelievably accurate. I don’t even know where to start.
I’ve always had way too many dreams and desires. I’m 20 now and this has been going on since I was a child, my brain has always been this way. I’m always switching hobbies and interests, dropping them, picking up new ones, and never finishing one. I always live in my head and I’m hardly ever attuned to reality. I feel like I hide in my imagination that tells me, “Anything is possible and that’s so exciting, I’d love to do these things! What if I could do this? Or that? Or all of those too?” It makes me very scattered and very non-committed to things. I keep living in my daydreams and imaginary possibilities which give me some incredibly positive energy but all I do is hide there, I don’t actually do most of the things.
I don’t even like being reminded of reality a lot of the time because I know these things haven’t happened and that reality isn’t nearly as cool as all of my imaginary possibilities which cheer me up and make me feel good. It’s like I LIVE in these.
They give me so much hope even though they’re all imaginary and I keep creating new ones. I fear being stuck in the same situation all the time, as these hypothetical changes may never come true. That makes so overwhelmed and broken inside. I am always overwhelmed by my own thoughts because there is so much out there that seems interesting and as an extremely indecisive person, I can’t ever decide exactly what it is I want to do. This indecision stops me in my tracks a lot, and it’s another reason I have so many dreams.
I LITERALLY ALWAYS think “maybe later, maybe when it feels right to me,” and I procrastinate everything.
I never get out there and do, and if I have, very few times. I feel like reality never matches my dreams and ideas, which most people deem unrealistic. I would want it to feel right to me, and I feel like because of my random, non-committing ways I might start what I thought was a dream and reality won’t be as great as I envisioned it, and I’ll drop it again. I bought a piano, a guitar, I got into wanting to edit videos, music, etc., all at the same time and never finished anything. And if I acknowledge this, I feel bad about it.
I’m DRIVEN by my hypothetical possibilities and the excitement they give me but I never seem to act on them. Sometimes I worry I’ll never be good at any of my dreams and I still haven’t done these things and like you said, if I think too much about it, I get those intense burning feelings on the inside and it’s terrible. I hate it. I feel like I should’ve acted and should’ve done these things and my biggest fear must be these possibilities never coming true. My life revolves around it and it’s such a mess. I needed this.
It's easier said than done. We literally live our introverted feeling which is so complex and confused, delusion when combined with extroverted intuition, u r right though. But that s out of our comfort zone so we fear to come out of our shell. R we cursed or what? We r misunderstood, said all bad things, insults, humiliated, bullied, undermined wat not..bcoz iam born this way and is no fault of mine! Iam angry on myself being born dis way!
INFP 3w4 here. Really didnt get my life going until my early 20s...feeding my Fi&Ne & crippling my Te with games and childish things to get away from sensors in my family most of my life was a norm. I was quite immature. Events happened to me where the world literally smacked me across the face and my perception of reality built on faulty principles was shattered and burned with hellfire. Find yourself before life finds you, The feeling of not understanding as INFP will really destroy any sense of self without the ability to really think it through and understand whats happening. When the pain subsides is where you evolve.. from a wing 4 or 5 into 3 and from an INFP-T to an A. The feeling is quite insane.
Im not a narcissist at all but you know what? Try and stop me now, i speak 3 languages and have lived in 3 countries and run a business.
Also thanks to psych, books, research and people here on youtube, I have created a philosophy or theory for eternal happiness that any person can learn regardless of knowing psych, regardless of getting over your insecurities and regardless of what you do in this world.. from simply a thought process you can create.
Yes i believe happiness is a thought that must be created to love ones self, not to be found or preconceived through other things.
If the world were to end today and be announced, then you would 'create' the idea for fear to live . But you can create an idea, and let happiness live here too.
Master your insecurities. I laid this out for you fellow INFPs..being a dominant personality FI Dom is possible. ..thanks for the video Meg!
"Events happened to me where the world literally smacked me across the face and my perception of reality built on faulty principles was shattered and burned with hellfire." this is so real.. if you ignore Se, Se will smack you in the face! lol. I guess it keeps things exciting :p
Definitely interested in a typing session meg!
@@MeghaMuse Allot of nfp's were forced after so many years to submit and when they get older the fear that was used to put them there takes them over and they don't know how to break the submissive role. I believe that is what allot of nfp's go through.
I can relate to you so much, I'm in my early 20s and starting to become less immature.
B4e 401 So is the thought process to create an idea and then love that idea? Any particular steps you can recommend that worked well for you? I mean when “creating” the idea?
I really needed this in my life right now
Melisa Anar same! also i love your pfp!
As an INFP i often feel sidelined and socially excluded. I don't mean that everyone is horrible and 'poor me' i just feel i struggle to make connections I so crave to make. I would love a video addressing this and a few tips to help the INFP in social situations
yes this is a really good idea I need a video like this in my life right now where I'm struggling to make a connection with people and sometimes I give up and say your fine you don't need friends but deep down I know that's not true and that I do crave true friendships in my life not a lot, just one or more people that I can call true friends
Same. I'm a desperate island seeking attention.
Thanks, as an INFP I think I needed to hear this
mg6415 same
I was traumatized by an event that happened years upon years ago and have been so, so afraid to seek help and speak out…
I’m reminded every single day of the pain I experienced, yet I choose to endure my pain silently and alone. As you said, I’m tortured by the universe; I am going crazy by bottling up my feelings.
I realize that, in the video, you are referring to a passion that has not been pursued (like a career), but I think this fear also applies to life decisions in general.
I don’t want to do this, but I’m my heart I know I have to. That’s my dilemma. I’m scared and I tell myself all the time that I’m going to fix this, but I remain silent and stagnant.
Thank you for this video. I think I really will do something…or at least I’ll try.
You have hope, when you say "I want to fix it... my heart tell me". You can do it, the universe reminds you. I sent you a hug 🙋
Wow I’m going through something similar rn. When I was younger I had a therapist who typed me to ISFP based off our therapy conversations. I experienced trauma a few years later and I took the MBTI test myself and types as INFP, and I’m hardcore N. I definitely believe that trauma is holding my senses back :(
Has less to do with comfort zones and more to do with our internal value system tied in with the fact that we already know the futility of most extroverted functions. If it isn't meeting our needs then with can't fit it in with our values. We will never choose a collective outcome over our own.
It's kinda true, but when we really feel comfortable we feel boundless and unlimited. I think we need to put our headspace right before we do things cause we know we're at our best there.
Perhaps a way for us INFPs to wrap our heads around Se is to reveal what the lack of Se means in practice. You know, get an understanding of Se through examples of where it's absent just like the way scientists conceptualise the substance known as dark matter. And Se is dark matter to INFPs, no? So, here's are few examples which might speak to my fellow INFPs
1) We are clumsy and tend to bump into things more often than other people. People with Se aren't as clumsy or as uncoordinated as us. In other words, Se makes you more graceful.
2) In acquiring practical skills like learning to drive a car, we will need more practice than Se users to pass the driving test and even then we probably aren't going to be the best drivers or love tasks like driving a car. Se users are able to manipulate physical tools in the environment and pick up physical skills almost effortlessly whereas INFPs are better able to manipulate mental tools. You know, turn psychological theories and abstract ideas into tools for emotional healing and to enlarge our inner world and build new rooms in our mind palace.
3) When it comes to sports like tennis which involve good hand-eye co-ordination and the need to hone our reflexes we'll be there for quite a while before we manage to return someone's serve. The ability to play sports at a good level is Se in action. If you suck at football etc then you don't have Se. In general, if you are a team player and love working on a project at work as part of a team you have high Se. If you find teamwork a core you are low on Se.
4) When we attend formal social gatherings like weddings etc. We ask friends or family whether what we plan to wear is appropriate for the occasion and we ask this kind of question repeatedly even though we may have been to half a dozen weddings and we will probably ask this question again before we attend the next wedding. Se users understand the subtleties of dress and style in social occasions. INFPs just have their own style no matter what the occasion.
5) Even though we may have attended quite a few formal meals with all the fancy cutlery and even though we know how to use a knife and fork, we never seem to remember which spoon, knife or fork is for which dish and end up looking to see what those around us are doing. Se users love to dine out and love the little details of their meals. INFPs think food is fuel for the body and best eaten alone.
6) when it comes to having a refined palette and a love for things like single malt whisky, caviar and so on, INFPs think Se users are mad for paying for all that fancy food and the Se users thinks we're weird that we don't know what fork or spoon to use and eat like a neanderthal.
7) When we walk into your house we want to help soothe your troubled soul and help you achieve your goals. The Se user is comparing your TV to theirs, looking at the cleanliness of your house and wondering whether your wallpaper would look great in one of their rooms. Se users care about the stuff in the physical environment. INFPs care about the stuff in your emotional environment.
So, what to do, eh? I mean, Se just isn't natural to us so how do we reap some of its benefits. Well, as an INFP that has done a fair amount of community work and organised community events and set up local community groups and so on, I'd say take your most cherished values, principles and ideals and use them to set up a community event or group in your area. Don't focus on making it a success, though. In fact, pray that you fail miserably at it because the purpose is to learn from the experience so that you can find out what else you need to learn to be more effective in taking action in the future. In setting up a community group or event, you will learn how to market your event/group, book the venue, set up a treasurer's account, purchase public liability insurance, liaise with local organisations like the police and so on and then analyse the data afterwards. You know, tally how many people attended, what the final cost of the event/group was and discover if your group/event managed to break-even or make a profit that could be reinvested in the group/event. Crucially, you'll learn whether, despite the exhaustion you felt afterwards, it was worthwhile taking your abstract values, principles and ideals and trying to make them a reality. Of course, if you want examples of community groups and events you can organise, let me know. After all, as you might already expect, I've got a lot of resources I can pass on.
Oh, and in case it isn't obvious this whole comment is Se in action. Now, for a bit of inspiration.
RUNNING FESTIVAL
Outside the Community Flat,
we wait for the minibus
to take us to Rouken Glen.
They bounce on their chairs
as we drive up the road,
and bounce on the grass
as we get out.
‘I’m going to win my race,’ says Craig.
He smiles.
We wait amongst chattering mothers
and heavyset fathers with beetroot faces.
The whistle is blown:
Craig is off...
He finishes in second place
but does not believe he’s a winner.
Like I said to Craig at the time, you are still a winner if you come second. Craig had the courage to run his race, but do you have the courage to run your race?
I’m an ENFP and I absolutely prefer to be alone because I drift off into my head even in crowds. I love people but I have to work at my ability to be with them. I can hold a room full of people with a story but then it feels phony when I’m done. Like I just did a performance.
As an infp I really needed this video, this was inspirational, thank you so much
If MBTI isn't real then I'll be damned man (lmao thatsounded funny.) You really get us NFPs, I wait for the perfect moment, and I think so much more than I do. I feel like I have other people like me. Thanks so much for giving me motivation to actually put myself out there. Much love friend
Wow Meghan, this video made me cry. Thank you. Amazing insights.
you're amazing!
I had to pause at 8:36... Oh my gosh. You have literally explained my inner turmoil for the past 5 or so years, and now I have no excuse to keep tricking myself into thinking "maybe it'll feel right later." I've wanted to be a writer for such a long time and have made myself miserable over it... And I just have to do it. It'll never feel comfortable and I just have to do it. My mother's advice: "they will be a time when the time is right." But she's ENFP/INFP too!
Thank you for this, but the truth is terrifying...
Wanting to be a writer is a sure sign you have a gift! Trust me. Not everyone wants to be a writer. I hate writing! You feel that desire for a reason
Meghan LeVota Wow! Thanks for replying ☺️
I’m going to try, even though I’m already looking for an escape hatch 😅
The way you present yourself and project your thoughts is so calming! Love listening to you talk about things like this :) from an ENFP 💓
I used to wear the mask of an extrovert so I always was hesitant in owning the label INFP, thinking I was an ENFP because that sounded more exciting and stuck to the extroverted character. That character is now dead, and I'm revisiting these personality types and it's kind of intense how much closer I connect now that I own up to the fact that I'm actually an introvert. Finding the new balance can feel insane.
WoW! As an INFP you are spot on! Being INFP is almost like a curse. I even tried to change myself to another type which does not work. You are who you are! I have drug my feet for so long that God and the Universe stepped in to take care of me. Now I seem to be stuck in limbo waiting on something to happen drifting from state to state. Not sure how I got in this position but something of a Great power always makes sure I have just to enough to get me to the next day. Although I have a tough lifestyle right now I have Gratitude and Love in my Heart. I Thank God and the Universe and Everyone involved for taking care of me. Not sure what the future holds but am confident that it will all work. GOD is in control. The Universe listens to God. It is so hard to take action when you don't know what action to take and just trying to survive starts to consume all your time. I don't even know what I'm fighting for anymore. Freedom? Happiness? Wealth Health and Abundance? I do thank the Universe. From a place of Gratitude. Thank you.
Thank you for all your great messages. You help a lot of people. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Peace Love and Prosperity to You and Everyone!
Hey Paul!
So yeah just talking from personal experiences here, but yeah, it can definitely be hard faced with our "super duper" function stack. We are on a never ending journey to learn about who we are with seemingly no end in sight! This is just what we do and it is not something you should go against but just harness it. I agree that it does feel like a curse periodically, but at the same time a good bit of the other types who "are not" on a self seeking mission wish they knew themselves more. This is opposed to them typically focusing on the things "outside of them" and not "internal" which we prefer to do and also feel most comfortable at. Other types may view happiness in life via wealth, corporate status, materialistic things, etc. but I will just tell you that I am an INFP who has been in that life (still am) and it IS NOT where happiness is for us. I'm in process to actually start working out of all the corporate-ness and go experience what “I” want to do more and more. Ever watch "The Secret Life of Walter MItty"? GREAT INFP movie (my goal is Sean Penns role at the end)..
At 38 I have spent MANY years into figuring out who I am (likes / strengths but most importantly my dislikes / weaknesses). I'm not perfect and surely have MY ISSUES, but the more you put into yourself (especially being the INFP type) you will overtime find better meaning and the individualism that we desire starts to validate more through confidence which allows you to "BE YOU" which you will actually find more joy in than having 100 friends or whatever.
I'm not a super spiritual person but I have found a new INFP (she's cool) on TH-cam who does speak to religion throughout her INFP based videos. Her name (Channel) is McCall L.
Sean
I hate anything that keeps me up at night. You know what keeps me up at night the most? Regret. I've gotten to a point where I push myself to do things the moment I think of it. It's a 50-50. It can go amazing or horribly wrong but either way, I can tell myself when I question myself at 3 am that I did something. I didn't just let it slide. I didn't die this time. Shakespeare says "cowards die a million times before their death." I keep that quote on my mind at all times. I've put myself out there and as exhausting and uncomfortable as it gets, I'm left with a feeling of satisfaction. Btw I'm an ENFP.
I also want to thank you for this video. Really made me emotional. This video was totally raw and has the right amount of brutal honesty to get me going. Thank you.
this is true. as an infp i always loved art.infact i was bad at school but really was talented at art.i always wanted to put out some art.but i always felt guilty about it.because what makes my art so special?,am i being an egoist?
it's not egotistical! each individual perspective is special. it is only ego when you think your perspective is better than anyone elses. but remember.. not EVERYONE has the same desire as you, so you aren't competing with anyone else. you are trying to be the best YOU you can be
@@MeghaMuse thanks!
I think that this comment clearly demonstrates something that goes on in an INFP's mind- with bad Se, we haven't bothered to go out into the real world to get feedback on the validity of our goals or how applicable they would actually be- so many times we assume that a lot of people would either have that goal, which would make it a million times harder to achieve it, or we could assume that no one else has that desire due to which we could face a lot of backlash and ridicule. Coupled with that we are uncertain that our aspirations will have any value in the Te domain so we end up imagining a bunch of different scenarios that seem to prove that there are insurmountable obstacles to our goals, due to which we just keep freaking out internally and are stuck in our own heads. It also doesn't help that our goals and desires can fluctuate quite frequently and we can get quite bored easily due to Ne. This is why XNFPs are on a constant quest for motivation because our motivation is rarely sustained, the way it would be for an ISFP with Ne blind.
So yeah, being an INFP isn't pretty.
Also, I think that with bad Se, we also feel chronically unprepared. For. Every. Single. Thing.
Due to which we fear taking action, because in our minds, action is useless if you are not prepared.
Oh I understand how you feel. Even now, me choosing to pursue creative writing as a Major, I felt like it may be a challenge to my sisters fiance, and my ex. Not in my intentions but I did not want to challenge anyone I just wanted to do what I wanted to do. I didn't want what I want to be in association with anyone else. It's my heart, yet, around me, I have to get past these obstacles. To not feel as if I'm being egotistical (I often feel this too), because I don't want to fight anyone for this position, but I don't want to not do what I want to do. (This eats into my anxiety constantly as I struggle to remain here.)
As an ENFP I completely agree with this! It's actually what I've been struggling with most recently. I feel like ENFPs are so self-growth oriented that we will naturally try to strengthen anything that holds us back from our wild dreams and desires or from being the best person we can be... save anything Se related lol We could have all the knowledge and potential in the world and just not do anything with it. I recognize it, most of my ENFP friends recognize it, and yet we just don't know how to fix it. it's incredibly frustrating. It's like the other functions are tough for us to grow in but we manage to find a way but Se is just so foreign to me that I really only value it when I'm stressed out and trying to find ways out of my spiraling thoughts (so usually socializing, drinking, making impulsive decisions, stress eating, etc)
I was just recently diagnosed with ADHD and that has helped me tremendously. Long story short, I was smart enough and self-aware enough to hide my symptoms, get good grades without trying too hard, adapt socially by following social cues of others, etc. What gave me away and got me diagnosed at age 21 was my life-long inability to initiate and finish tasks, break them down, do my homework, clean my room, and other general executive functioning tasks. While none of these are Se alone, Se plays a large role. I could figure out a way around everything else but just couldn't seem to leanr those Se tasks.
For my fellow ENFPs (and anyone struggling with similar issues) (most people do to an extent) look into ADHD tools! The ENFP brain is naturally very similar to someone with ADHD so even without the disorder you can really benefit by learning how to make these things easier for yourself! Also, pretty much anyone can benefit from an ADHD structure in your life since it's meant to help those who are so polar to executive functioning skills (among more, but that's what my biggest issue is). I have a VERY long way to go considering these habits are 21 years in the making, but I was feeling incredibly discouraged until I started looking into and asking about different structures, routines, and tips.
Wow. You are putting to words. Things I've always felt but didn't know how to express. It makes sense that most of my stories start with things that happened to me and that I have a hard time understanding others unless I can talk about it to myself.
This was super spiritual, well done on your deep explanations.
Damn! Guilty as charged.
We get beat down in life by being so impractical that we retreat into ourselves (our comfort zone) all the more making us resent, fear and reject extroverted sensing ad nauseam. It's a vicious circle.
I'm an ENFP and this is very true. I've always had many desires that were keeping on coming back to me since my early years of age(I'm 22 now) and I was just simply too afraid to make them happen(music, for example) and instead of fulfilling them, I have always chosen to do something else that is less personal and more in my comfort zone, in order to feel a little bit better about myself :D Guess I just need to give it a go to free myself and not to feel guilty in the future.. But it's not easy when your mind is revolving around every possible thing that might go wrong :< Anyway, thank you for another great video ❤ ( and sorry if I made a mistake in my english)
Oh my love. As an enfp who also is all about music, the amount of times I've literally been put down for wanting to do this is crazy but I don't know where I've gotten this strong mindset from. Recently I've just told myself it's better to work hard for something you love (my example is, if I'm called at 2am for a job I want it to be something I love) than to settle. We can do this hun!
@@bkzl Ah yess 💖
I seriously cried when you got emotional. When you said about doing things when the time is right I connected so much. I can never just do things half assed, it has to be when I can give myself over to it.
BUT I can be opportunistic at the same time. I have realized that I will never truly live if I don't start jumping at things I want. I have 47% extroverted sense, and 51% introverted sense. I really try to be a balanced person and live by both sides of the coin. And it's bloody hard to grow and learn how to self motivate myself when I'm not "feeling it" and I still struggle with this every day. I have so many hobbies and I feel like I'm worthless and lazy when I'm not constantly working at it and I then become afraid of it altogether. Same with getting my license. I have been nagged about that for years because I'm very afraid of failure. But it's what needs to happen and I realize that, especially now I've seen this.
I love the way that you cut through the bullshit and seemed to know and feel the way we could all live by taking those actions. ENFP here. Knowing and feeling things that are part of my core and taking steps to make sure it's at the Forefront of my life definitely helps me living more fulfilling life
When life forcrs us to shoot the bullet, thrn we freaking shoot. But we hate having to shoot and you'll have to waot before we shoot again becaize it takes along time to fins another bullet. In other words Se is so damn exhausting that after uaing it for awhile we need an extra long break.
I appreciate that the most insightful videos on INFPs comes not from a channel by an INFP or an INFJ, but an ENFJ. You're great at studying us. Shame I can't return the favor...except I am a LOT better at understanding Fe instead of being annoyed by it now that I've been studying typology long enough to get a decent feel for things.
aww, thank you so much! that means a lot :D
Yo veo tus videos con subtitulos, y usando el traductor para saber que significan las palabras. Lo siento si no escribo en ingles, se me da my mal que al intentarlo creo que no se va a entender. Thank you for made the video, I crying, you have the big truth, all of us have to faight and be brave for what we want, with our desires. And Its made me think about my past, and now (Im not a child, Im a woman), be afraid for reality, and knowing all that stuffs its gonna fail, be wrong, be my fault and hurts too much. Some of the experiences was so depth, i afraid of the loop (repeat infinite times?), because I feel like that, like i cant go away from posibilities. But I decide to make the change, I go to therapy, I want all my love to make me grown, be the woman that I want. (all my hopes to you Meghan L., its me, an infp grateful)
I don’t understand how this feels directly targeted towards me. Thank u Meghan
As an enfp I’m currently struggling with this. Great videos! They really help me get a better understanding.
Thank you I needed this I'm going to finish writing a song that I started that I was scared for people to listen to it and not like it
Personality is only ripe when a man has made the truth his own.
i think i just got roasted
I love this video, thank you for addressing this topic! I've been smashing a lot of these NFP fears like quitting my job, joining a dating app, putting my art out there, going traveling, reaching out to friends first, and grabbing or crafting opportunities to shape my life into what I want. Even though these things are SCARY AS HELL, I still feel weirdly the most like "my true self" when I face my fears and just do things that before I would have considered "unlike me." I was terrified to start, but it got to the point I was so unhappy with my stagnant life that I was going insane that I never did anything to take action and make changes, just like you mentioned! I started a domino effect that led to me making all the right changes--while still respecting my introverted nature, of course! It's helped so much once I accepted that to grow, I had to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
You can do it!!! 🥰
WOW. This brought me to tears near the end. I’ve heard this in different ways for INFP’s. But the way you explained it and the details you provide, wow. It really hit me. And you are spot on. My ISTP partner tells me to “just do it” all the time 😂. Thank you for telling me I’ll be tortured forever. I believe it. It’s been torturing me for years already. Thank you!
I’m an INFP and want kids but the time never seems right and I’m terrified of leaving my comfort zone. If I don’t have a kid, I’ll feel like I missed a great opportunity. Yes you’re right, it’s making me scream on the inside! I hate being INFP. It’s so freakin painful.
Omg this channel is so fascinating and wonderfully helpful! I just subscribed! Hope you have a great day, from an INFP!
Thank you, Meghan. 62 year old INFP here and I can see how this has affected me
My infp feelings dig this video. Have a treasured day. Peace.
Your point was that INFPs have to just go out use Se, while I got from you that I have to use Si to make Se easier, sort of accustom myself a bit with things so that I don't have to use Se so much.... :) can definitely see the "sneakiness" in play here :)
Did you peek into my head while i was asleep Meghan?🤣 I feel like I need to watch this video every morning when I wake up before I go out into the world! "If you can be brave now you can avoid a lot of turmoil later"❤
I love it, "The universe wants you to choose your heart
" I needed to hear that. Thanks. That's the opposite message of our fearful Se.
There was so much to reflect on here, I really value your perspective its helpful to hear a lot of what you've said. But somehow so much of this feels off. The idea of chasing after desire or fearing stepping outside of our comfort zones seems off and I don't know how to explain. We just aren't this action oriented. Our desires are fleeting and personally I don't think we regret as much as this. We aren't seeking tangible proof of our existence, we are seeking internal meaning and reflection and understanding. We want the inner experience, we seek the inner harmony of finally making sense of all the chaos. I almost take comfort in choosing to not follow up on a desire, i would rather be hung up on a romantic interest for years than actualize it because the internal reflection is fulfilling, this is the life experience we seek, its the internal understanding. We are quiet novelty seekers, we have so much more life experience than people give us credit, we experience people and observe situations, we carry around this internal wisdom and frankly, we just don't care about actualizing it as much as we care about exploring something in depth. As terrible as it is, this is why we pine in melancholy and tragedy and why we torture ourselves, we want to plunge into the depths of the human condition. What really injures the XNFP is not the lack of outward success, but the mistaken interpretation that our internal subjective la la land is in anyway representative of the experiences of others, its the internal isolation that kills us and the disconnect from experiences that enable us to peer into the subjective experiences of others. I don't know, maybe some of us crave success, but most of us are not as preoccupied with volition and much as we yearn to explore the endless subjective experience. we are well aware dreams are fleeting. its not so bad.
Oliva Sullen Yes! Totally yes!
Is depth built through repetition though? It sounds like living an experience for a long period of time without acting on it can lead to limited perspective as only one experience is being hyper-focused. I’m not meaning to insult, but other personality types can benefit so much from your depth and taking action on it might open new doors for perspective.
@@julialucas3738 My thoughts on that are i would point out the part of your statement where you suggest inaction leads a person to hyperfocus too long on one experience. I don't think that is the case. I think the internal experience varies depending on where and how we shift our focus on the subject of our interest. We overlap the subject with multiple perspectives, and if anything, we go off on perspective tangents and delve into different areas of interest before returning back to the same subject with new perspective. INFP's can absolutely get stuck in ruminating or limited focus, or circular reasoning, but sometimes we repeat in our head until something jumps out at us. Our world is in our minds, and that's where the perspectives develop, that's what we have to offer. Taking action can give us variety sometimes and we do do things also. If anything we are more set back by not developing goal oriented action focused thinking, it would round out our inner perspective development.
I used to have this problem a lot as a kid. So lost in Ne, I would forget to eat or sleep. But. Now I'm more in the moment, and a doer. Great video!
I finally got it that Si is not about action like Se is, therefore i as an Infp and i see that other types that also have a strong Si, we struggle with actually doing things, working, actually making action. For me personally to make action is very difficult cause it doesn't come naturally. I act intensively usually moved by strong emotions, eitherwise i have to push myself in this action mode but i get pretty exhausted after some weeks of intense doing things quickly, although i hope that was a coincidence and i do can be more active and productive and efficient.
Thanks Meghan, you have really intereseting thoughts! The other video about Infps having Fi and being self sufficient thus, was very helpful for me, to understand the actual worthness of my brain functioning (you know we infps are quite unefficient in life😂)
Big kisses, hope you are doing well😘
as an infp.this is true.
You keep on saying sneaky. No wonder I’m a Slytherin. We infps do have a lot of cunning involved to get what we want. Lol.
Anyway my partner is an ESTJ and we’ve been together for 7 years. same cognitive function stack but reversed. I learned a lot from him including to just go and do it and make shit happen to get what I want. He taught me to make my dream a reality by becoming more assertive and to get out of my comfort zone. It’s a hard process and I’m still learning, but yes infps greatest strengths are also their greatest weaknesses. Too much thinking and not enough doing.
You are beautiful Meghan. Thanks for the video.
There is a powerful brain with a deep soul behind her winning face, ....
but yes, she reminds me of Marina Diamandis from Marina and the Diamonds.
I got a crush in her actually. I hope I 'm not sounding creepy saying this
I totally agree. I feel a beautiful person deep inside her it resonates out. That makes her for me desirably attractive.
I find this so emotionally charging. It’s so fantastic to feel and release my emotions. What you are saying feels so on point. When raw emotion comes up I believe you can’t fake that, and if I would personalize this, I am aware that this is me showing up as my authentic self . I have been doing a lot of work these last two years. Digging in really deep with healing what I thought was past childhood trauma, which has all been great growth and healing. However, this personality identification that I have just stumbled on, and to give you credit, your beautiful insightful, kind and encouraging words has really broken something wide open. Where I once thought I was a victim to my childhood trauma, which is real,. I now realize I have been in survival mode all this years. But the truth is I haven’t known who I am all these years I have been living in fear of my feelings of the external world. But now I feel empowered that I have this knowledge that I understand I will always respond to the world this way. And with this knowledge I no longer need to be a victim. It’s crazy,, I am not identified by my outside world. I am love, I am kindness I am compassion. I care and love deeply. I’m so grateful. Thank you
Holy moly. This is incredible. I mean, truly, you nailed it. I’m an INFP, and everything you have said it true. I hold myself back from truly embracing things I’m passionate about because I am constantly afraid of what will happen if things don’t work out. I’m always holding out for “the right moment” to do things. That moment is now!! I have to do things when I think of them!! I’ve been wanting to start an Instagram where I post all of my poetry because I love poetry and I have hundreds of poems and I want to share them but I always hold myself back because I can’t think of the right way to present my poetry but I have to just do it! And there’s a guy that I’m in love with and I know there’s something between us and none of us acknowledge it and I don’t want to say anything because my family thinks I can do better even though I’ve dated anybody in all 21 years of my life but he’s literally the sweetest, most thoughtful person and he deserves the world and he never leaves my head. There’s so many risks I’m so scared to take because there’s so many possible outcomes and I’m almost paralyzed to take action despite how much I really want to. I want to die a writer who has lived and loved and at least changed the lives of a few people
this is so true ! i suppressed my desire to study psychology back in first year of commerce, and now here i am 2 years later , i dropped commerce , switched to arts to study psychology.... i literally had to be bullied into action to pursue what i wanted
Powerful. I am an ENFP and both myself and my INFP friend would benefit from going after what we want - with stronger Se. Thank you 🙏
Good pep talk. Stop thinking and start executing. Easier said than done, I do love overthinking things. But when I actually start to get my hands dirty it feels amazing! I think weak Se is what holds us back from being awesome artists. To be good at something you have to practice, make it, remake it, and just do do do. Maybe this is why the ISFP is said to be the "artist", they have that savior Se working for them?
I get up each day wishing I didn't. I can't find any joy in my life. I want to do something with my existence, but I just don't.
It's going to get better .
Dang it, she knows us so well! The struggle is real.. Thanks for the encouragement, Meghan :)
Oh man! Thank you!! I should listen this everyday. Maybe then I will slowly adapt your advice in my life. Keep making videos. You're very helpful. INFP here
You are amazing, but I have never met an ENFJ I didn't like. Sometimes an ENFJ's personality can be a bit much for me - like before my cup of coffee - but I've learned that has more to do with my mood than who they are.
Thank you for putting your time and effort into these videos. As an INFP hitting midlife, I can honestly say that your videos are deeply inspiring. I have been working on my desires... but, I let a few of my deepest desires get by me. I can only speak for myself, but sometimes my emotions get so strong, internally, that I cannot think, let alone speak or act. I have no problem speaking (and even flirting) with women, for instance, unless I really like her. However, I do believe that I have been successful in tackling most of my desires.
So, what did you do to get so knowledgeable about MBTI? What do you suggest one read to get an understanding of each type? Seminars? Etc. I work in education (special education and coordinator for after school programs), and I really want to start a nonprofit of some kind to help people build character, critical thinking skills, and to learn how to find their individuality.
As an infp I put myself out there and every single time I get no response. Especially with personalities that use extroverted sensing.
the dark night of the soul made me move or moving still into a higher energy .. I had no choice almost.. it was rough. I feel like you got it very well because i didnt really understand this but this helps. it made me cry .. lots of feelings .. I never thought about the things we want never go away .
Thank you!! I agree with XNFs having very low Se ... and your words were very encouraging ❤️ I am going through a tough time where I am constantly getting beat up because of not excecuting.🥊 Thank you so so much for your video 🙏
- Enfp
Such beautiful and authentic articulation. Thanks Meghan.
-Mr. ENFP
Typically if I jump into something rather than finding the best way to do it beforehand I'm much less happy with the result, so I found it actually is better for me to plan plan plan. I suspect that's not the case for other types
Thank you… so much for this. This was exactly what I needed to hear, in regards to a certain person in my life right now. The feelings have been railing against my chest for the longest time; sometimes they get so powerful I feel physically sick. We were extremely close, but I can feel distance building and I don't know why, and I've been trying to just outwait the feelings, but it's like the farther away I stray, the more intense it gets and it just consumes me and I could stop it just by reaching out but I don't. Every time I try, my mind is hit with a flurry of everything that could go wrong and normalcy is lost in the sea of possibilities. So I need a push beyond it, infinity + 1. This video is a push.
As an infp I'm 200% able to relate to this and now i know what to do now.
i asked the universe for a sign whether i should sign up for a course i've been thinking about doing all year. i think this could have been it. enfp life
sign up!! hoorray :D
@@MeghaMuse Thank so much for ur support! My mums an enfj like u. I told her today i would sign up and she said - sure sign up if u know your definitely going to use it.
ENFP response - how will i know that?! im not psychic - i was just planning on doing it and seeing what opportunities arise. its all so hard... !!! i cant guarantee ill use it. i wont sign up! lol. enfp life
Not an xnfp type but I've definitely gone through this. For me, I had missed opportunities from being oblivious to people projecting their emotions onto me and not being strong minded enough to stick through it.
You have me in tears because you're so right. My heart Is already on fire, and it IS ABSOLUTE torture. But how can an isolated INFP achieve their dreams when they feel it might be too late?
As an INFP, you’re videos have been life changing. Thank you.
Thank you!!!
Thank you - this means so much
Haha wow, hearing this perspective was so interesting. The desire to do something but taking hours thinking about it and waiting for the opportunity is quite accurate for me.
Thank you so much Meghan, this meant SO much to me!
This came as such a good timing for me, Meghan! Thank you so much. - ENFP
I didn't knew it is because I am an ENFP... This too? Wow.. Knowing my MBTI type is incredible...
I know all the things you told in this video already. But hearing it being said by another human who understands that, who says all these things in one video, who says the things that are all true for me... I couldn't imagine saying all that at once to my friends. It's really deep, well thought and accurate.
(INFP)
Uh... Why did this video make me catch so many feels? Something in your voice sounded kind of... sad, in a way? Idk.
Like there's something you really wanted and were unsure you could ever have it, and it frustrated you.
Maybe that's just me imagining things.
I'm called to do music my whole life, somehow didn't do it. Besides fear of reality etc, I see people like Prince translate their strong feeling directly into their music, and then I sit down with my instrument and realise the mountain I have to climb to be able to express myself and I get bored and distracted. It was funny cause when u mentioned that everybody has something they desire I already thought "That's music for me", and then a minute later you mentioned just that. Crazy stuff.
Wow Meghan, every single sentence was SPOT ON!! You couldn't have explained it better. Thank you for taking the time. Your understanding of XNFPs is excellent. Seriously, you must be hiding a little infp hobbit in your car trunk who's telling you what to say haha XD !
LOL I love this comment! you caught me!
Great video! I live the ENFP energy but agreed on the procrastination and giving up too early. INFJ here;) and personally working on choosing my ❤️🙏
Sooooo TRUE. I never Saw a better video explaining the INFP way of feeling and sering. Things in LIFE. THANX