Most people don't think deeply about death | Sheldon Solomon and Lex Fridman
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2020
- Full episode with Sheldon Solomon (Aug 2020): • Sheldon Solomon: Death...
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Sheldon Solomon is a social psychologist, a philosopher, co-developer of Terror Management Theory, co-author of The Worm at the Core.
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It's only when I was confronted with a cancer a few years back that death went from a concept to something very tangible... Since then I am happy being alive, enjoy little things and have lots of gratitude even though I still have lots of challenges...
Little things can and usually are the big things. And the big things are usually materialistic. And if not, the "big things" are the results of an overinflated ego that, as many of us know, often goes wayward.
nothing has been better at relieiving my anxiety than confronting death head on & repurposing my life as if it can end at any moment, therefore pursuing only what is most important to me & what I enjoy the most while looking past trivial matters.
2019: Most people dont think of death..
2020: Everyone thinks of death.
"momento mori" is about 1500 years old.
I used to be terrified of death, now after working in Healthcare, I am more scared of the way we try to perpetuate life beyond what's humane. I see death as a gift to those who suffer and it can be profound but painful awakening for those who face the loss of a loved one.
"Out of all the animals in the jungle, the elephant is the one that leaves the biggest imprint in the mud. In the same way, out of all the meditations on the path of enlightenment, meditation on death will leave the deepest imprint on your mind."
~ Buddha Shakyamuni
I first acknowledged this eventuality when I was in 3rd grade. I haven't stopped since. I still remember the day in school when I confessed to a classmate of mine explaining why I was feeling so down that day. The fact that everyone ends. Everyone dies eventually. I got nothing in return but an uncomfortable chuckle. I don't think I felt superior in any way because I was staring at a concept that people avoid confronting even at later stages of life. I only felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness. Apart from the obvious despair. I just hope I meet more people who are comfortable with taking in the terrifying bigger picture before I face the eventuality. I don't think that's an unreasonable expectation as I've just begun my career in the healthcare field.
Yeah i feel same way
One word. Create.
@Jonata its just so hard to live i think of my dad every minute and without him i don't even want to live anymore always depressed since losing him
@Jonata ;( ty im so sad and tired i just don't know
An to think there is nothing after this life like heaven based on scientists its like nothing matters i always prayed to jesus and God but nobody has proof which makes me destroyed my Dad does not deserve to be gone ;,(
Yeah, I always wondered why other people didn't question everything. I assumed they were really dumb. Then, I read Nietzsche and realized I am dumb too in the exact same way, just that I'm not as dumb here perhaps.
I cherish the few people in my life who have the courage to speak openly about death..And life, naturally.
courage to speak about death and life naturally crazy because that’s all my family talks about is death and purpose
YES! I love this man! Thank you so much for having Sheldon Solomon on your podcast.
He is one of my favorite human beings!
To some this may seem like a morbid way to live, but I can’t imagine a day where I don’t think about death. Whether I’m reminding myself that my time is limited and fraught with pain and suffering, or that every second that I’m here is the most precious and beautiful thing I will ever witness, I’ve never been debilitated by the fear of death. That’s not to say that the fear isn’t there, because I have been terrified of my own mortality, but it’s never made me doubt the belief that life is worth living.
Maybe our consciousness fades into nothingness, maybe we reincarnate, or hell, maybe one of the many religions on this earth are correct. Whatever the answer is, I am but a simple part of the equation, and how can “b” fathom that it is a part of “y=mx+b.”
I guess all I’m trying to say is that whatever I am at this moment is “here and now,” and whatever is beyond that will have to remain unknown to me until more information is presented.
Beatiful
I know what I am to face, I must busy myself with work and help bring about prosperity to my fellow humans because we are all one.
I don't think morbid at all. I hope to combust or be translated would be awesome! My dad was a mortician.
This is exactly the same postponed removal of ambiguity from death, described in this video. Focusing on the present, living the moment and believing that any lack of personal decision in this department has no influence on every day life.
I remember the first time I contemplated death i was 5 playing with a little skeleton toy . I then thought "that will be me one day, just a pile of bones"
@ Lex, Please present a suggested reading list from you and your guests so as to get the same information. I love your podcasts and would like,e to have the same information, to learn from.
Love your work.
It's not that I fear death, I don't have any problem with my own mortality, what I have issues with is the thought or idea of losing someone I love because of death. I detest death and I hate the pain and sorrow it brings.
On another note, I have a thought about death, what if we are similar to a caterpillars metamorphosis, in a sense that our human body is the caterpillar and our physical death becomes
the cocoon that would free us and give us new life and our human consciousness or soul signify the newly born butterfly.
Great story about being left out in the cold, nails the feeling. I think a lot of people have thought deeply about death at some point whether for a minute or hours and they just want to get back inside, it's too much.
I think about this all the time and I'm glad that someone else is talking about it too
I had 2 out of body experiences when I was 8 years old through having an illness. It was amazing.
Live instead
@@alexzuccaro6579 I guess I should try to be more balanced
Thimali Kannangara absolutely. Life as all about balance my friend.
@@alexzuccaro6579 I am quite pessimistic at times, trying to be better...
Thanks for this totally agree
I find the thought of death comforting when I am depressed because it makes all my problems seem insignificant.
It's a double edged sword, because the insignificant life derived from mortality can make you say "what's the point", whereas "fuck it" is a better attitude
Interesting
same here, im in the fuck it category. Our life here is so short that there is really no problem.
I feel sad that you experience enough pain to be comforted by your future death. Realize that no other being in this universe will ever experience consciousness the way you are and did experience it. The universe is experiencing itself through all of us. Peace be with you.
@@bobdhitman aw there it is :)
I'm not really sure I agree with the premise. I personally think deep, introspective thinking on death, especially one's own, is something universal to the human condition. Confronting death is probably the single most universal trope in literature, philosophy, and religion. Guests probably just aren't comfortable talking about it. It feels out of place in society not because people are unfamiliar with it, but because its somewhat of a taboo to speak openly about in situations where it isn't immediately relevant.
People circumvent dialogues about death because there's no conclusive answers to what -and if there is something that remains after.
We struggle to accept it is most likely same as flipping a light switch off.
We desire validation of our lives, instead.
What do you mean no conclusive answers? All 10 million + species on the planet go to the same place at death, in the dirt! It's your ego that cannot accept the inevitable.
@@rgenericson5361 we begin with semantics.
The universal culmination of things was not the citation here. Rather what is there, after, for us. The conscious portion of the universe.
@@rgenericson5361 So deep!
That analogy in the end is really nice
Lex always dressed like agent 47
I love your depth.
My mom instilled the concept of death in me early in life. I think it's a consequence of having a parent who's an ER doctor.
Great conversations here.. I was introduced to death through my parents passing... not knowing what they were leaving behind would blossom into a full 360 on what life is all about... death is beautiful but not final....
Another way to approach your own individual life is that...... if it can happen once, it can happen again.
"Spared you the existential excruciations"
Indeed.
When I first began meditation practice the fear of death came up to meet me head on four separate occasions.
Each time I was so terrified I became incapacitated.
A couple of times lost control of my bladder and bowels.
Literally, it scared the shit out of me.
That is the least interesting part of those experiences though.
The one Thing about Death? Everyone gets a Turn.
“I’m drawn to be back to the warmth” my man Lex really is one of our generations greatest thinkers. Keep up the great work !
Love the skull mug
I've had two heart attacks since I was 28. It definitely woke me up but 2020 has forced me to cozy up to death more than ever.
Sheldon Solomon is such a great guest..
I'm 50. Not terribly old. But I'm not scared of death, because living is such hard work.
I’m right with you. I’m 48 myself and not scared of death. Think about it everyday. Although I enjoy being alive and my life despite the ups and downs, I do look forward to leaving. I’m not suicidal either. Just getting tired of it all
19 June 2022. always think abt death of myself since long ago. once a while, will have panic attack while waking up. not sure how this affects me on the whole. but I definitely do not get angry or impatient over most things people care abt.. since I am constantly aware that worse things like death can happen to us now
People think to highly of themselves. They think they are gonna live forever. Many people step on others for their material wealth.
Life doesn't really end with death if you understand the reality that your DNA continues to live on inside the physical bodies of your children, grandchildren and so on. Ultimately this progression makes you immortal.
It surreal how real it is.
Great conversation!! And Lex is looking fine!! ❤️
huge family. both parents 1 of 12. EVERYONE of them and their spouses have died. by 15 had already been pallbearer 3 times. later in life was in the room for several close friends and family. Some struggled to die including my wife with breast cancer. she carried religiously installed guilt till an hour or so before death. There was a priest and I with her. Asked her about the guilt, slight nod 'yes'. Suggested she set the guilt down and cross the water, died an hour later. Never certain we assisted her, but felt better ourselves... of course we can never know. For me the mystery and wonder of the entire shebang is enough ...
Thanks, hit deep.
This is was a great episode. Sheldon is the man. I could listen to that man all day.
The way I derive some comfort about death is pondering the fact that we lose consciousness every night - our egos and awareness are conditional. Once I'm gone, It'll be the same as it was for the billions of years prior to my birth. I won't be around to notice I'm not there. Still deeply disturbing if one rests on the thought for too long. But that's just the brain trying to preserve my existence.
Also, being truly agnostic about whether dualism is true or not and the possibility of the afterlife.
Yeah. It's the eternity of it that freaks me out. It just fucks me up.
I think after death is the same as before life.....really no words to describe it....
I've thought deeply about it for a very long time and i hate the thought if it because it's going to be forever and if you can comprehend forever then it's even worse. You'll never be aware again, you'll never see your loved ones again, Ever.
Not sure how much this added to the question. Beleive all people think about death from time to time. These thoughts activated by an external event such as a death in the family or a plane disaster for example; any reported tragedy highlighting how death can never be far away. There are other times one speculates about this over a beer with a mate. What is it all about, where doe one go if anywhere? For me, the most memorable experience concerning thinking about death came 10 years ago. I was trying to go to sleep when all of a sudden my mind drifted to this subject. I began trying to imagine no longer existing, simply not being. All my experiences, thoughts, beliefs no longer around - gone, forever. It was painful, I was putting all of my energy into this un-answerable question. Could not sleep for hours.
About first 25 years we are afraid of life. After that it's fear of death.
Are you afraid of life? I never was. Over here (Germany) they say (not very common) : "35 years are text. The rest is comment." ...refering to when the interesting times in life are. I know people who had teachers who refered to fear and Nazis. My grandfather born 1900 had to go to first and second worldwar. What should I have to fear?
Well said
momento mori is a very powerful motif seen in art and literature. Mortality humbles.
You only die in the simulation! Consciousness can never be destroyed , I can’t wait to die then pick my next reality to live another brief experience.💀
Highly recommend - Existential Psychotherapy by Irvin D. Yalom
got it, it'll be my read for this month
I was hit by a drunk driver head on who was traveling the wrong way on a one way highway in 2006 and lost my Fiancé but somehow survived myself. I remember while the car was flipping kinda calmly thinking o.k. this is it (curtain call) and how had i always avoided the thought of it (death) finally coming for me?, like life would never end somehow. Fast forward to 2022 and I'm happily married to a woman who is also a survivor of a tragic accident herself. I feel like I'm living a second life and try not to sweat the small stuff and really do appreciate everything a lot more ( tho I slip into the mundane sometimes) i know it's a million to one odds that I could even type this or experience the mundane, and when I meditate on death try to remember just how fortunate I've been.
I think about death every day. It gives me anxiety.
Thinking that I'm going to die feels like I'm on a roller coaster and it's about to drop. It's inevitable. And I wonder why the hell I got on the ride to begin with.
Whats there to think about? When your dead, your dead. The 14 billion years that proceeded me didn't bother me and i dare say the several trillion that will come after will also not bother me either.
I think this guy came up to me at the beach and asked for a beer.
I've come to believe that life is but an opportunity to unlearn attachment; to let go of the things we are brought up to hold dear, and ultimately to let go of our very selves, i.e. ego death. Every time I've let go of something in life, I've been rewarded not with sorrow, but with freedom. It may follow, then, that true freedom indeed is "having nothing left to lose", not even the ego.
It's ironic, because it's a message that is essentially found in all major religions (give up your material possessions, give up your free will, give yourself up to God, etc.), so it's clearly an ancient & widespread belief, yet religious people are often, in my experience, the most astray from this ideal. I can't figure another path to fully coming to terms with death, and dying before having made peace with this reality is, to me, the most frightful of thoughts.
Very glad to see such content cropping up on TH-cam. It's a shame about some of the comments, however.
i think about death all the time. i'm 35.
@@chewbrocka6833 it comes automatically. i think it came after my best friend died 10 years ago.
To think about death is to, as you said, strip away all that we know that serves us in this life. Death is a boundary, a rule that keeps our actions in check while we are alive. To think about it is to acknowledge that this ride won't last forever, to accept a limitation that is beyond our control.
I've written about reincarnation, had past life regressions and seen my own death more than once. This experience allows me and anyone else that's done the same a unique perspective. One that's shared by only the bravest souls. Most people (2/3 of the population of this planet or more) don't want to know the truth about death. It would spoil the ride...
I thought about death very very deeply , and I started laughing like a crazy person, I had had no idea why I was laughing either
Death is what makes life so precious!
ooo death these are the interesting topics, i like hearing peoples opinion on death.
Publisher: can you write it without mentioning death? Death doesn’t sell well.
Lol.
i live with my grandma who has dementia and it really put death in the front of my mind. do i want to be like her and spend the last 15 years alone, living exactly the same day over and over again? because she is too scared to take risks and live.
Do not fear death. it will come eventually. fear not living.
I've mentioned this many times. but we die every night...temporarily...We don't fear going to sleep because we're sure we're going to wake up the next day. The process of dying is no different than the process of going to sleep
I can’t recall the last day I didn’t spend at least five minutes considering death. Not sure how much it achieves, but I’m somehow grateful mortality is always at the forefront of my mind. God, death, and the origin of existence - they are the great subjects.
Memento mori. Even the stoics in Ancient Greece and Rome meditated on this fact daily. It puts things in perspective.
I had a dmt trip not long ago that had basically convinced me that I’d “ passed on “ ..that feeling of your soul skyrocketing upwards alongside a rapidly increasing whirring sound which ended with the sound of what sounded like a flat lining heart monitor.
How do you feel after this experience?
Grateful to be alive but also super confused as to whether or not I actually was.
@@gidope4076 so even now you think you may have experienced death?
Jordie Wanliss REALnews I feel like I experienced what happens when your soul leaves your body ( whether you believe in that) I just can’t think of any other way to explain it.
@@gidope4076 I think they call that an ego death, would you recommend?
I wonder if they don't think about it or they don't want to talk about it. Not sure.. It is strange though, and a hard 💊 to swallow. I think about it almost daily.
Death isn't so bad when you remove constraints and illusions of time.... people say "when I die..." I say " when we all die" because when I die everyone and everything that lives and will live dies (better term for death is escape) escaping time ...the people seemingly left behind and all of us now are, from this stand point, ghosts trapped in time...
from the outside edge of the universe perspective for example ..we are all dead we just don't know it yet
How does the universality of death make it much better?
@@TremendousSax what makes it so bad? Seems a bit overated ...the perspective of it being something that your not doing alone seems more comforting for anyone facing it ...the mind creates time and it's time that adds all the weight and fear not just facing death but everything in life
In other streams of thought, this "cultural narrative that has questions you don't think about deeply" is "karma", and the act of trying getting rid of it the "spiritual" path, which will allow you the ability to choose when to wear that cultural narrative (i.e. when you want to be a functioning member of society) while getting rid of the confirmation bias of the narrative when you need "pure", not-tainted-by-pre-existing-information kind of intelligence.
death is easy. life is hard.
The real question is - what is it that is ‘dying’?
That IS the question.
We all die a little bit each day...
I’m excited whenever I do die. Life is worth living but death is ultimate end to the journey of life. Death is an experience as is birth, you just don’t remember your birth.
I think you won't remember your death, neither.
Gregor Samsa
This is true for the most part, if we have an after life or not?? “Live now die later”, i think is the phrase
I remember my birth
@@jonpaulregan6130that i do not belive. Do google "Julia Shaw".
Jonpaul Regan
I heard of some like you whom do remember. The human experience is very interesting
most people do not have the IQ to reason beyond daily chores. That is why most people do not think about death
Question everything
Most people may not think deeply about death but many people do
Intelligence turning against ourselves
Phew you almost blew the lid off! You where getting to real for him he had to change the topic.
Im a anxiety diver, i cannot stop it and one day i got high and i
questioned myself if im gonna be shit scared that last moment of death since im anxious anyway and then i stoped getting anxious since i wont be able to understand it. Nihlisticly you stop existing so you aint aware, scientificly your particles keep going, spiritualy you go on, quantoumly you are part of a consheousnes so in any ase you are always fine.I mean fuck! You always existed in some way. Death aint that bad.
If there is no self then who is there for death to take?
I feel the same disappointment when I ask people about fear of death and they give me a generic answer like "death is a reality we have to accept". The truth is you haven't really thought about it and you don't want to admit it. The fear of death kind of reminds me of Sam Harris's speech about "meaning of life". The fact that the present moment is all you really have at your disposal. This was a profound realisation to me and not in a "You live only once" kind of way but in terms of a shift in perspective through which I see each second which is really liberating if you think about it.
One moment you are here, the next moment you are dead and not here. Noone knows where you go if anywhere. What's there to go on about. It's not brain rocketry.
I fear what I am while being alive...
Whats that saying? "Everyone wants to go to heaven, no one wants to die."
I was, I guess you could say "lucky" I came head on with the realization of my own mortality quite early, my mother suddenly past away just 4 days after I turned 17, my grandfather and uncle both passed away not long after that so the realization of death as an inevitable event during my lifetime came rather early to me. Its a topic I've given much thought too and I've come to terms with. I understand that it is a natural part of the cycle of life, it happens to every living thing and I've come to peace with it. I don't fear death as I believe most people do. I'll go with a smile on my face when its my time but until then, I'll live each day to the fullest.
When did Tony Hawk get so articulate?
I wonder if Mr Solomon has looked at the many accounts of *near-death experiences* we now have, and the work of people who have studied them.
Been there, nothing to be afraid of.
@@KB-os6lh Good, but has Mr Solomon looked at and studied such things?
@@gwang3103 I have no idea if he has.
I believe in NDEs
@@reddeadrene7552 So do I.
Is Christianity tied to the fear of death? Do Christians believe that Heaven awaits them? Such thinking solves many parenting issues, too.
I think that death sucks because it separates the people you care about in the flesh and to contemplate honestly leads u to a big question mark like man this is really effed
I think about death daily. Not in a morbid way. I don’t have a nervous breakdown. I’m not scared, but I’m also not looking forward to it.
To recognize our own mortality I think is the greatest service that we can do for ourselves. To know that this will all end-the universe will cease to exist in your own consciousness and in your own reality-at any time. That should be enough for you to appreciate every waking moment from here till the end.
They do but they don't tell you,
I've always been more afraid of "living."
There’s a hemmingway quote very close to this I think
Why focus on the small stuff? If a person is not ready to die at any given moment what experiences do you think people of this mindset would need to go through to change their mind? This is something only though about when it is truly needed and no words can seduce a persons mind without means of action. This is what I believe.
Don't know if this is weird, but I'm more terrified of not living a meaningful life and Rebirth specifically!
In the same way gold can be made into many varieties of jewellery - the root of life expresses itself in many forms. Does anything really ever get born or die?
Lex next time u go to barber ask for 3 high fade with edge up cuz wtf going on buddy
If you are a religious person who believes an afterlife happens and it is an improvement to this reality...no reason to fear death.
If you do not believe in an afterlife or a Higher Power, then the Universe cares not of our individual existence and we are essentially meaningless specs of dust. The insignificance of our own existence and the same for everything we know should actually be comforting that at the point of death our experience just ends. No Heaven or Hell, just a ceasing of being.
IIRC Socrates reflected on his own impending death this way: either he would be rejoined with interesting people whom he could have eternal conversations...which would be awesome. Or it would be like taking a long restful night's sleep that lasts forever...which would also be awesome.
Another good question to ask yourself - What was I before I was born? And what was that before it was born?
I thought about it a very long time ago & that’s why I gave my heart to Christ so that I will enter into everlasting life to be with Jesus as He is the Ultimate Ruler & giver of life. Jesus will either be your Judge or your most important Advocate on The Day of Judgement or when you pass on from this life.
This clip doesn’t really say what the benefit is for stepping out...just existential panic??
insight
Life is precious.
thomas anderson Bad hands are given to the strongest players. There are no mistakes.
Suffering creates true strength, humility and depth inside of people.
Each person is given only what they can handle and when it becomes too much, life provides a way out so that they can endure that too.
Some people even live in such a way as to bring on intentional suffering.
But if someone is really struggling with existential issues, they should try reading about different perspectives on death. Philosophy, theology etc.
After all, no one actually knows what happens when we die...
We might get reincarnated, we might go to heaven, we might dissolve into universal energy, we might just go to sleep and never wake up...
The point is - all we can ever know of only occurs while we're conscious and alive. With this in mind, what really matters is our waking personal feelings and beliefs about/towards death.
Death is really just an idea until it actually occurs...
All you can ever know happens within the context of life.
magicpotion8 - sort of agree- but then why focus on Death? It can just foster dread...
Peter Tauvers I think there's value in recognising that one day we won't be here. It's a bitter pill to swallow but it's the truth.
At the same time, you can see life and death as two sides of the same coin - you don't get born without dying and vice versa.
IMO life is more valuable knowing that it won't last forever. It makes me want to live fully while I can and gives me a sense of urgency that I should only focus on what really matters to me.
Anything done without love is really a waste of time.
The beauty of death is that when you die, you won't know you're dead, or that you ever existed in the first place. So enjoy your fantasy filled dreams of life after death while you can, because the bottom line is that it's lights out forever afterwards! ; -)
I mean, you don't' know that any more than anyone else knows heaven exists or reincarnation exists. I wouldn't present that as such a factual statement so much as your belief in what happens when we die because that's all it is, belief.
You heavily overestimate your own capacities.
Fearing death is the first step in breaking the golden chains society has placed upon you. Your self actualization relies on the fact that you will accomplish things in your life but in the grand scheme of history anything you accomplish is meaningless. To realize this allows you to walk away from every expectation society can place on you. Every construct disintegrated to ash leaving you empty and you will be left with three choices. 1 go back to the heat and warmth as Lex put it. 2. Be unable to have the mental fortitude to withstand the cold 3 Survive the cold and begin anew stronger then ever before. To be even presented with this gift of the these three choices is a blessing the creators of the Simulation has given us :)
Wim hoff?
Manny Santiago Outdated bullshit is what it’s called :D
Death is the beginning of the greatest regrets you could possibly have, if you don’t feel that way right after you die, trust me you have won the first round which is life. Peacefully wait for the day that rewards will be distributed among those who were good to each other for the sake of ALLAH (swt) ( GOD ) and they never worshiped none but ALLAH (swt). May you all be my neighbors in heaven and I be yours. Love you all and peace
i think any adult who is reasonably competent has thought deeply about death.
This guy looks like tony hawk
I don't recall ever having seen them both in the same room together...
Thinking about death now is pointless. Thinking about being alive, what that means to you and living it is what matters. Death will come, you can think about it then if you need and are able to. Why interrupt living with the unknown?