There are strong monogamous men and there are weak monogamous men. There are strong polygynous men and there are weak polygynynous men. Weakness and strength is not measured by how many wives you have, how many kids you have, how much money you have. The strongest man is the one with the highest taqwa. You could be broke, no wife, no kids, but be the strongest amongst the mu'mineen. Brothers, don't let people determine your value by how much of dunya's enjoyments you possess because Allah gives to whom He wills out of his bounty and this is already written. Your value is in what Allah values in his creation. Read the Qur'an and look at the types of people Allah praises and values. Strive for that.
Exactly sister they are being too much excessive , ok polygamy is allowed by Allah almighty bit was never explained like this by the prophet peace be upon him and the sahabas. May Allah grant us balance and guidance in everything.
I didn’t think he was passing judgment as in “monogamous men are weak and polygynous men are strong.” That’s a mischaracterization of what he meant. He meant that given a man’s natural state, monogamy may strengthen it, but polygyny when committed to it and following the proper parameters will strengthen him more. Polygyny may introduce some weak spots into a man’s life, but monogamy introduces more. Add it all up like math equations and in the end you can still have a very strong monogamous man and a weak polygynous man. But what he was talking about is relativity.
He's just following red pill rhetoric now, even if he claims he isn't. Quite like our feminist sisters who claim to not be feminist yet over 50% of their ideas are in line with feminism and out of Islam
@@Semapodcst السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُه From 29.min The Shaykh goes through the verse on polygyny th-cam.com/video/rGE5ffnBHuI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=hzhXVQKWXQdsktgD
Don't agree with a lot of points here. Having 4 options just shows how weak a man is compared to a woman. If a woman is left by a man she has to deal with the financial, social and emotional issues and also raised the kids while showing everyone she is okay. If a woman can be that strong then so can a man.
@@____.-.-.-.- exactly he made it like an obligation. Even Allah almighty gave options . And they want to restrict what Allah has not restricted. Anyway may Allah guide as all.
Well, you should see the matters from male serving perspective. Maybe your god hates women and wants all fun and variety for men and feeling and humiliated and cheated on for women,
LYING feminist... the children belong to THE MAN.. NOT the woman!!!! The FATHER takes all children at 10 years old and over, they are HIS children in islaam, they come from the sperm which feeds on the egg and grows into a baby.. the life is NOT in the eggs, the eggs are nothing more than FOOD for the sperm to plant itself into and feed and grow, westerncentric science is kufr atheism and feminism!!!
Dear brother Gabriel, my friend was married to a very nice man who was treating her in the best way ever, but after watching your video she found out that he is a “weak” man because he loves her and no other woman… so now she is not attracted to him anymore and she wants to become your second wife. Would you please take her now you strong man?
Assalamualikum. I am a sister in islam and agree with what was mentioned in this podcast. Polygyny isn't easy from an emotional perspective but it can encourage us to grow spiritually, mentally and emotionally if we learn to regulate our emotions. Polygyny can be a beautiful thing if done well.
@@kektorie766 You are teaching on what is in my nature. Of course having fun with different men is in our nature. You muslim are so jealous and delusional.
Anyone bashing on the Deen of Islam for their treatment of women need only read about the rights of a mother or a wife. Or notice that MOST Muslim reverts are WOMEN.
All good saying this but that requires a lot of responsibility, treating all wives fairly because with such responsibility you will be judged accordingly..its not only about your desires.
السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُه From 29.min The Shaykh goes through the verse on polygyny th-cam.com/video/rGE5ffnBHuI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=hzhXVQKWXQdsktgD
@@Abdur-Rahman862 it's easier said than done abdurahman. Most men struggle with one woman. Never mind 4. It's not for every guy and one has to really be fair to all 4 women and potentially fairly provide for all the kids produced. The 4 wife thing is beneficial for those that go through war time where many men are lost. Like I'd agree for the Palestinian men to do this for instance.
@@Hurrehurra "the 4 wife thing... war" complete and utter garbage. The 4 wife thing is needed today more than ever. Go and look up the statistics. The ratio of females to male is increasing rapidly. So what happens to the women who cannot get married due to a lack of men? They should be left behind because someone who doesn't see the wisdom in polygny opposes it? "I'd agree... Palestinian men" Well your opinion as we have seen holds no weight so I couldn't care less if you agreed or not. If men today cannot handle polygyny then it is up to our imams to TEACH men rather than convince them that one woman is enough. It's almost like you didn't watch the video. You saw the title and started rambling.
Men are only more physically stronger than women but women are a lot more resilient and stronger emotionally. Women dont need another option to bounce back from breakups
@@hananoor7934 You didn't put forward that question in your initial comment. You and me both know the answer to that question. The talk is about general mens behaviour and their psychology. Men and woman think differently and behave differently biologically.
@@ashrafi7337 you should of understand what I said then you reply . not to just reply with something that has nothing to do with what I have said. And another thing are you seeing the world we are living in . an ummah that which all men 's heart is full of Allah swat would not be in this situation of humiliation . not where there this an ongoing genocide in Palestine
Masha Allah Allahumma barik lahum. This was a very genuine podcast going deep into the arguments and emotional counter-arguments of people. I am looking forward to a part 2. I only think br Gibreel should also post it on his channel for people to not miss out. Even if its in some time from now so that the brother of this podcast keeps some edge. Its also possible to post it on br Gabriels page in the playlists without giving a notification to the viewers. Br Faris al Hammadi used to that accidentaly, publishing without yt notifying the viewers. I think the mix of both interviewer and interviewed was quite perfect as one was quite genuine without holding back and that showed to be perfect for Br Gibreel to give great answers.
@@hn1695 imam ahmad didn’t have more than one wife at the same time, nor did the prophet peace be upon him for 25 years up untill mother khadijah passed away. If you love brother jibreal then correct him when he makes a mistake don’t help him to continue making it. He said having one wife is for weak men.
This guy may not say he's following red pill, but his behaviour and speech says exactly that. Just as the feminists say they aren't feminists but their lifestyle is everything of a feminist If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck then it is a duck
You're putting words into the Shaykh's mouth. THe Shaykh would never ever insult the greatest personality/human in Islam nor any of the Imam Azeem. You know well the mission of the pious men of the past was so sublime and demanding that they had their focus on much loftier things. You know very well that the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) had the strength to effortlessly pin down a champion wrestler easily but was so gentle he (salallahu alayhi wa salam) would be careful not to hurt the feelings of others and use the best of words.
Misogyny is defined in the dictionary as either hatred/ dislike of women, or the the UNEQUAL treatment of women. You can’t make up your own definition. Use a different word if you want a different meaning.
Assalamoalekomwwb. Some of your points are on the spot, but some are in my view only pointhing out weakness. The way you explain why a man should have more than one wife points out weaknes of the man and not strength. I also think that men and women have different strenkt, not different weaknesses. We are made different with different purposes to compleat each other. That is what we are taught in islam. Not that we should look for flause in one another. And talk down about each other. This is feeding into the feminisme. Men and women are not eachothers competetives. They are to work together and compensate one another. They have each their own strong point, and if they follow the guidelines from Allah, they would live harmonious life together. A life under protection of Allah.
Ignorant Muslims and non Muslims make it sound exhausting. I’m a Muslim woman and have man rights that I thank Allah I’m not a man. Polygamy isn’t prescribed to oppress women, and if it did then that’s not from Islam. Regardless, we’ve also witnessed monogamous marriages turn sour. Why do people not claim monogamous marriages are toxic?
Why is the conversation just talking about why men want and whats good for them.. why not whats the in the nature of women and what they want? Plus dont forget that women are aa creation Allah too. So please talk about them empathetically. The world was built for both men and women and not men alone.
Don't fear them. Fear Allah (SWT) and stand up against them. They need to be put in their place, frankly. Their thought/consciousness is straight up derived from unjust ideologies and kufr and needs to be countered/discarded accordingly. Propagate the Haqq of Islaam.
Just out of interest, where did this exist “in the laws of Jesus”? It existed in Old Testament times - not with the overt approval of “God”” But Jesus never married multiple women/ had sexual intercourse with children etc. he was reportedly celibate. Even in Islam.
Prophet abraham only married after being old when his wife could not have children. Was he weak to be with only Sara until they were both old? Same with prophet mohammed. Married to his first wife for her whole married life until she died. Was he weak? He still talked about her after death because he was heartbroken. Is he weak? May allah be pleased with all of them. Funny how these podcasts are getting morre nowadays. End of times it is more important for some men to talk about feelings then it is to educate children and families. To educate on how to raise children how to have stable homes with an income. How to fight for your beliefs . How to practice as best as you can. Muslim men out here (i know) only trying to make money. Not thinking to much if everything is halal on the way to succes. But omce the money comes in all of a sudden relgioun only is loved because now they want more woman. If there were men like prophet mohammed and his companions, most woman would not care to be co-wives. But these men.... No thx.
it's not an open marriage, it's what "polygamy" is. In the west you can hook up with as much girl as you want, and make baby as much as you want without the marriage contract, isn't that messed up?
@@sunnahedits Well the west have the state and its not even good exempel. But islam is horrible by have open marriage and relationship. Also you can have how many concubine you want and you are not in contract with and that my friend is open relationships.
@@sunnahedits Women can have many boyfriend too and have baby with them. But they don't make it one way street in men favor. And Ironic part is you make women to cover themselves so you don't worry that they can opportunity to cheat on you when you cheat on them with nekah.
@@enockt6218 First of all, do not speak without knowledge. "And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hands possess [i.e., slaves]. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]." [Qur'an 4:3] how is it horrible? Marriage is sacred, is a contract, it is to be protected, how is it "horrible"? Clearly in the Qur'an itself tells us, we can marry more than one, but if we are not able then just marry one. How are saying that is an "open marriage"? Is literally different with polygamy, how are you perceive polygamy the same as an open marriage? pls get yourself educated first.
There are strong monogamous men and there are weak monogamous men. There are strong polygynous men and there are weak polygynynous men. Weakness and strength is not measured by how many wives you have, how many kids you have, how much money you have. The strongest man is the one with the highest taqwa. You could be broke, no wife, no kids, but be the strongest amongst the mu'mineen. Brothers, don't let people determine your value by how much of dunya's enjoyments you possess because Allah gives to whom He wills out of his bounty and this is already written. Your value is in what Allah values in his creation. Read the Qur'an and look at the types of people Allah praises and values. Strive for that.
Exactly sister they are being too much excessive , ok polygamy is allowed by Allah almighty bit was never explained like this by the prophet peace be upon him and the sahabas. May Allah grant us balance and guidance in everything.
I didn’t think he was passing judgment as in “monogamous men are weak and polygynous men are strong.” That’s a mischaracterization of what he meant. He meant that given a man’s natural state, monogamy may strengthen it, but polygyny when committed to it and following the proper parameters will strengthen him more. Polygyny may introduce some weak spots into a man’s life, but monogamy introduces more.
Add it all up like math equations and in the end you can still have a very strong monogamous man and a weak polygynous man. But what he was talking about is relativity.
@@Marwadear512 no ,that’s actually what he said?? That’s why I believe he is an idiot
I couldn't agree more!
He's just following red pill rhetoric now, even if he claims he isn't. Quite like our feminist sisters who claim to not be feminist yet over 50% of their ideas are in line with feminism and out of Islam
Here we go Bismillah
Bismillah
@@Semapodcst
السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُه
From 29.min The Shaykh goes through the verse on polygyny
th-cam.com/video/rGE5ffnBHuI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=hzhXVQKWXQdsktgD
Don't agree with a lot of points here. Having 4 options just shows how weak a man is compared to a woman. If a woman is left by a man she has to deal with the financial, social and emotional issues and also raised the kids while showing everyone she is okay. If a woman can be that strong then so can a man.
@@____.-.-.-.- exactly he made it like an obligation. Even Allah almighty gave options . And they want to restrict what Allah has not restricted. Anyway may Allah guide as all.
Well, you should see the matters from male serving perspective. Maybe your god hates women and wants all fun and variety for men and feeling and humiliated and cheated on for women,
LYING feminist... the children belong to THE MAN.. NOT the woman!!!! The FATHER takes all children at 10 years old and over, they are HIS children in islaam, they come from the sperm which feeds on the egg and grows into a baby.. the life is NOT in the eggs, the eggs are nothing more than FOOD for the sperm to plant itself into and feed and grow, westerncentric science is kufr atheism and feminism!!!
Dear brother Gabriel, my friend was married to a very nice man who was treating her in the best way ever, but after watching your video she found out that he is a “weak” man because he loves her and no other woman… so now she is not attracted to him anymore and she wants to become your second wife. Would you please take her now you strong man?
The question at the end made me laugh 😂😂😂😂😂 ‘u strong man’ hahaha
@@pamk380 thank you for understanding my humor, or to be more precise, my sarcasm lol
Lying is haram. This is a load of Nonsense.
@@BlacFireSan why don’t you go back to wherever you came from
@@BlacFireSan wallah???
Dont forget to do some DHIKR today!!!
Assalamualikum. I am a sister in islam and agree with what was mentioned in this podcast. Polygyny isn't easy from an emotional perspective but it can encourage us to grow spiritually, mentally and emotionally if we learn to regulate our emotions. Polygyny can be a beautiful thing if done well.
I rather polyandry to encourage our family to grow spiritually.
You go against your nature. While the men follow his. This hole podcast is bs
@@kektorie766 You are teaching on what is in my nature. Of course having fun with different men is in our nature. You muslim are so jealous and delusional.
Anyone bashing on the Deen of Islam for their treatment of women need only read about the rights of a mother or a wife. Or notice that MOST Muslim reverts are WOMEN.
Yeah, because they fall in love with Muslim men. Generally they then realise what he’s like, divorce and leave the religion. Look at the stats.
All good saying this but that requires a lot of responsibility, treating all wives fairly because with such responsibility you will be judged accordingly..its not only about your desires.
السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُه
From 29.min The Shaykh goes through the verse on polygyny
th-cam.com/video/rGE5ffnBHuI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=hzhXVQKWXQdsktgD
Yeah, obviously. What do you think marriage is?
@@Abdur-Rahman862 Good answer brother. I think everyone is trying to complicate it. We should simplify it.
@@Abdur-Rahman862 it's easier said than done abdurahman. Most men struggle with one woman. Never mind 4. It's not for every guy and one has to really be fair to all 4 women and potentially fairly provide for all the kids produced. The 4 wife thing is beneficial for those that go through war time where many men are lost. Like I'd agree for the Palestinian men to do this for instance.
@@Hurrehurra "the 4 wife thing... war" complete and utter garbage. The 4 wife thing is needed today more than ever. Go and look up the statistics. The ratio of females to male is increasing rapidly. So what happens to the women who cannot get married due to a lack of men? They should be left behind because someone who doesn't see the wisdom in polygny opposes it?
"I'd agree... Palestinian men" Well your opinion as we have seen holds no weight so I couldn't care less if you agreed or not. If men today cannot handle polygyny then it is up to our imams to TEACH men rather than convince them that one woman is enough. It's almost like you didn't watch the video. You saw the title and started rambling.
Men are only more physically stronger than women but women are a lot more resilient and stronger emotionally. Women dont need another option to bounce back from breakups
Men are stronger emotionally actually women are much more emotional though
Phrophet Muhammed (pbuh) was in a mono marriage with Khadija for 25 years & he was the best of man. He did not re-marry until after her death.
And what's your point, he got married multiple times afterwards.
Read again...Phrophet muhammed (pbuh) was married to 1 women for 25 years without practicing poly. Does this make him weak??
@@hananoor7934 You didn't put forward that question in your initial comment.
You and me both know the answer to that question.
The talk is about general mens behaviour and their psychology. Men and woman think differently and behave differently biologically.
As a muslim woman - solid podcast 👌🏽
As a muslim man, I support your comment !
We become weak like that since the only thing men think about , talk about is women, and polygamy . how sad
What kind of comment is this? Muslim Men think about Allah (SWT)'s greatness and a plethora of other things.
@@ashrafi7337 you should of understand what I said then you reply . not to just reply with something that has nothing to do with what I have said.
And another thing are you seeing the world we are living in . an ummah that which all men 's heart is full of Allah swat would not be in this situation of humiliation . not where there this an ongoing genocide in Palestine
What do you mean by "the only thing men think about" ?
Are u okay ??
Masha Allah Allahumma barik lahum. This was a very genuine podcast going deep into the arguments and emotional counter-arguments of people. I am looking forward to a part 2.
I only think br Gibreel should also post it on his channel for people to not miss out. Even if its in some time from now so that the brother of this podcast keeps some edge.
Its also possible to post it on br Gabriels page in the playlists without giving a notification to the viewers. Br Faris al Hammadi used to that accidentaly, publishing without yt notifying the viewers.
I think the mix of both interviewer and interviewed was quite perfect as one was quite genuine without holding back and that showed to be perfect for Br Gibreel to give great answers.
Jzk khair for you comments/advice
@@Semapodcst Jazakallah Khairan for your podcast akhi. Keep up the good work
Sick intro Allahumma barik
The podcast we all needed 🔥
A much needed conversation
Gabriel Romani when you doing a podcast with Andrew Tate?
In the USA, you can have as many girlfriends and baby mommas as you want , just don't marry them.
And you can have many baby daddies as well. It is not a one way street in men's favor in non muslim countries.
@RAMONA3118 : the difference is 4 wives and 1 husband you know who the daddy, while, 1 woman and 4 different men, who the daddy?
What utter rubbish
Very well-developed argument.
Excellent points made
Backed with strong evidence👍
@@Abdur-Rahman862 what evidence that women are bisexual and bilingual no wonder muslim men make such horrible husbands
Apparently imam ahmed is weak according to brother alromaani. What about the prophet for 25 years.
I'm sure imam ahmad married. Also that's not the point Gabriel made, your twisting his words.
@@hn1695 imam ahmad didn’t have more than one wife at the same time, nor did the prophet peace be upon him for 25 years up untill mother khadijah passed away. If you love brother jibreal then correct him when he makes a mistake don’t help him to continue making it. He said having one wife is for weak men.
Wjat are you saying??? In the madhab of imam ahmad it is recommended to marry mpre than one wmn
This guy may not say he's following red pill, but his behaviour and speech says exactly that. Just as the feminists say they aren't feminists but their lifestyle is everything of a feminist
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck then it is a duck
You're putting words into the Shaykh's mouth. THe Shaykh would never ever insult the greatest personality/human in Islam nor any of the Imam Azeem. You know well the mission of the pious men of the past was so sublime and demanding that they had their focus on much loftier things. You know very well that the Prophet (salallahu alayhi wa salam) had the strength to effortlessly pin down a champion wrestler easily but was so gentle he (salallahu alayhi wa salam) would be careful not to hurt the feelings of others and use the best of words.
Misogyny is defined in the dictionary as either hatred/ dislike of women, or the the UNEQUAL treatment of women. You can’t make up your own definition. Use a different word if you want a different meaning.
Another podcast 🥱
We need brother Gabriel again with another interesting topic.
What would like the next topic to be ?
@@Semapodcst SSA
@@Semapodcsthow men are abusing second wives rule, secret marriages and also how men marry second then divorce them shortly afterwards.
Gabriel wont be satisfied & fulfilled with even 4 wives!
He has 3 not anymore...
@@MimiPlaysEcos it's become a trend!
@@MimiPlaysEcos and Mahdi tidjani with his 'no strings nikkah' nonsense! Shame on them.
He has 3 wives. I bet 3 father in laws too 😮
I've never been treated better by a Woman than when she had some competition.
Assalamoalekomwwb. Some of your points are on the spot, but some are in my view only pointhing out weakness. The way you explain why a man should have more than one wife points out weaknes of the man and not strength.
I also think that men and women have different strenkt, not different weaknesses. We are made different with different purposes to compleat each other. That is what we are taught in islam. Not that we should look for flause in one another. And talk down about each other. This is feeding into the feminisme. Men and women are not eachothers competetives. They are to work together and compensate one another. They have each their own strong point, and if they follow the guidelines from Allah, they would live harmonious life together. A life under protection of Allah.
No body has to hearts .... it's doesn't matter if allowed have 4 wife's..... And bro u not a women, dont try to be one
I notice men nowadays they are pretending to women in thinking style and behaviour .
I always noticed how women have it in them to rpocess 2 ideas that dont go together. Literally self contradiction
How childish
Being a Muslim woman sounds exhausting.
Ignorant Muslims and non Muslims make it sound exhausting. I’m a Muslim woman and have man rights that I thank Allah I’m not a man.
Polygamy isn’t prescribed to oppress women, and if it did then that’s not from Islam. Regardless, we’ve also witnessed monogamous marriages turn sour. Why do people not claim monogamous marriages are toxic?
No, not at all. We are free from societal expectation & we don't have to be submissive to our partner all the time. It's nice being a Muslim.
Why is the conversation just talking about why men want and whats good for them.. why not whats the in the nature of women and what they want? Plus dont forget that women are aa creation Allah too. So please talk about them empathetically. The world was built for both men and women and not men alone.
Oh no....what will the Christians think about me?
Hope the femenists dony find this pod lol
I hope they do. They either accept the wisdom behind it or they prove that they're unable to think logically. Either way, it's a win.
See brother Gabriel even commented "Here we go, Bismillah". He normally doesn't do that. He is combat ready to receive them 😂
Don't fear them. Fear Allah (SWT) and stand up against them. They need to be put in their place, frankly. Their thought/consciousness is straight up derived from unjust ideologies and kufr and needs to be countered/discarded accordingly. Propagate the Haqq of Islaam.
Just out of interest, where did this exist “in the laws of Jesus”? It existed in Old Testament times - not with the overt approval of “God”” But Jesus never married multiple women/ had sexual intercourse with children etc. he was reportedly celibate. Even in Islam.
brother jibreel needs to relax i think he is new to the deen
Prophet abraham only married after being old when his wife could not have children. Was he weak to be with only Sara until they were both old?
Same with prophet mohammed. Married to his first wife for her whole married life until she died. Was he weak? He still talked about her after death because he was heartbroken. Is he weak?
May allah be pleased with all of them.
Funny how these podcasts are getting morre nowadays.
End of times it is more important for some men to talk about feelings then it is to educate children and families.
To educate on how to raise children how to have stable homes with an income. How to fight for your beliefs .
How to practice as best as you can.
Muslim men out here (i know) only trying to make money. Not thinking to much if everything is halal on the way to succes. But omce the money comes in all of a sudden relgioun only is loved because now they want more woman.
If there were men like prophet mohammed and his companions, most woman would not care to be co-wives. But these men.... No thx.
Wtf is this bs. These beta men are hilarious.
How are a square and a circle unequal? Tht is such a dumb analogy.
Get a grip
NARC ALERT 🤣🤣🤣
Do you think Gabriel is a narcissist
such a horrible teaching open marriage and open relationship is not a good thing in relation at all no wonder people complain about islam...
it's not an open marriage, it's what "polygamy" is. In the west you can hook up with as much girl as you want, and make baby as much as you want without the marriage contract, isn't that messed up?
@@sunnahedits
Well the west have the state and its not even good exempel. But islam is horrible by have open marriage and relationship.
Also you can have how many concubine you want and you are not in contract with and that my friend is open relationships.
It is shocking how misogynistic this religion is. I know Islam very well. It is like scary hell for women.
@@sunnahedits Women can have many boyfriend too and have baby with them. But they don't make it one way street in men favor. And Ironic part is you make women to cover themselves so you don't worry that they can opportunity to cheat on you when you cheat on them with nekah.
@@enockt6218 First of all, do not speak without knowledge.
"And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hands possess [i.e., slaves]. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]." [Qur'an 4:3]
how is it horrible? Marriage is sacred, is a contract, it is to be protected, how is it "horrible"?
Clearly in the Qur'an itself tells us, we can marry more than one, but if we are not able then just marry one.
How are saying that is an "open marriage"?
Is literally different with polygamy, how are you perceive polygamy the same as an open marriage? pls get yourself educated first.