Salamo alaykom, just a simple translation of Dr Jasem's 10 questions: 1) What is your future ambition? 2) What is your understanding of marriage? 3) Which qualities would you like to see in your life partner? 4) Is it necessary to give birth in the first year? 5) Do you have any health or hereditary problems? 6) Are you sociable? who are your friends? 7) How is your relationship with your parents? 8) How do you spend your free time? 9) Do you have a charitable or voluntary activity? 10) What do you think about having your mom or my mom involved in our personal matters?
I invite you to Islam dear brother/sister. Study, learn, and read with an open mind and heart. My only request is that you ask for guidance from your creator. I wish nothing less than jannah (paradise) for you:)
14:13 "another advice i give is look write down six or seven main things that you as a person you can never be able to tolerate" amazing points made regarding this topic!
There is so much wisdom in what he said. I totally agree, i’m from Azad Kashmir Pakistan and my husband is from Karachi. We got married just out of emotions and eventually its a big disaster. Our customs, lifestyle are totally different we just cant get along . He feels uncomfortable with my relatives & im in his. I advise young couple to choose the partner wisely and keeping in mind all the points as Sir said. Dont get marry based on attraction, physical looks and emotions.
Questions to ask before marriage: 1. Where do you see your self in ‘x’ number of years? What is your outlook? 2. What is your world view? What are your thoughts about the world? What are we here for? 3. Ask about family. How do your family live? What do they enjoy doing? How did parents meet? How do you guys interact? 4. What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Tells about personality. 5. How do you see finances and management? Are they a spender or saver. *there are 5 other questions I can’t find them tbd Ask informally, it’s not interrogation. You can start talking about yourself. Leave the questions open ended. Don’t solely rely on conversation but also pay attention to how you feel and do some background work (social media + community). How do they act with their family? They will treat you the same when they get comfortable. You can test a person but without lying or deception. To see how they react when put in certain situations.
Asking these questions is a good start but be aware that people lie. I know about even the parents lying about their kids to get them married, thinking the person will change with responsibility. But if the upbringing was not right, the capacity of handling responsibilities won’t be. Also, narcissism is a real thing. Someone can outwardly be someone and inwardly be someone else. They hide themselves very well, they manipulate very well, they are clever in giving quick responses. Be very observant and have a connection with Allah swt.
The person who wants to marry can also ask the friends or relatives of the husband/wife candidate's. I knew about this from my teachers too, that it's not only the husband/ wife candidate's parents that we can ask about because, like you said, they can provide a very biased opinion on their own child. I haven't been married, but just recently I was saved from marrying someone who had a verbal abuse past to his ex-girlfriends. His parents and his brother said a lot of nice things about this man, but his friends and colleagues saying the opposite. I had a hunch that this was not right--thankfully I was able to cancel my marriage to him.
Its so good to see young muslim generation doing beneficial work for their Ummah it will inspire the upcoming generations. Mashallah and jazakum Allah khayran inchallah wa baraka
This conversation was no less than awesome. Many thanks to the hosts for the energy, the questions and the sense of humour and thanks to Cheikh Bilal for his smile, knowledge and kindness which were much appreciated. Salam Aleykoum from France and God bless U all!
One of the best lectures on this marriage thing. So many golden advices there. I'll always keep coming back to it and share it with others too insha Allah. Thanks Sheikh and this channel for addressing this beautifully.
I am also mixed. My dad is Iranian and my mom is Irish. It makes everything really weird and I didn’t notice it until the recent years. I’m 37 and haven’t been lucky enough to find whoever I’m supposed to be with yet. I don’t know that being mixed has something to do with it but I also don’t know that it doesn’t. Inshallah my time will come.
Inshallah that day is soon for you sister. I'm 26 and unmarried, I realise how quickly the clock ticks. It's scary but Inshallah Allah will open doors for us all. The priority is to get stronger in deen then pursue in the best way. Bi'ithnillah. At least that is my approach.
Pray to ALLAH to pick your spouse who will be best suited for your khair in this life and the next. In-sha-ALLAH you will both be connected through the blessing of ALLAH. Do your best in balancing for akhira/dunya rightfully and read this dua every day: “Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” [25:74] رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا” Also ask ALLAH to bless you with afiyah everyday for this life and the next.
Marriage is pre-decreed by God so if it is written for you it will happen at the time it is meant to. My cousin got married at 40 and had two daughters. A friend of mine got married at 41 to a guy in his thirties and had a daughter.
Rasulallah ﷺ said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279.
i am mixed as well and honestly the struggle is real. honestly at this point I feel like being with a mixed person would be the most comfortable for me
Most of our youngsters, even up to the age of 20 are nowhere near of being ready for marriage. Dont know how talking about it would change anything. Most of the problems come from the parents/household/society. If that does not change, then talking about marrying at a young age will dont bring any change.
I'm new on your chan brothers, and I have to say, it was such a humble and heartwarming talk. Our hearts tend to forget that we are in need of talks like these, may Allah grant everyone from the Ummah with companions like you all. Salam from Germany 👊👊👊
Well doesn’t happened that way god put women on earth 🌍 and it’s our own risk to find them and remember it’s up to the woman who will either choose you to marry you or not and there is always a good reason why most of the women will reject proposals
Sister was influence to get married to the same culture man, he’s “a scholar” of Islam He wanted to have a child every year, yet did not want to raise feed or look after his children, his goal was to live the bachelor life with hang out with his friends And also have his halal sexual desires meet Forcing my sister to have the basic minimum life. Live off the gov housing claim money and for her to work help pay for the bills so he don’t have too. Now she divorced depressed and raising his kids alone living off the state While he remarried blessed with umrah job child and new home Women really suffer in this world
big thanks to the questions you guys asked - guess all us young people got the same questions lol. sheikh Bilal really answered them beautifully also keeping in mind the times we're living in... which is something alot of adults or parents don't consider.
Subhanallah may Allah guide us all and may Allah grant me righteous husband and all those who are single and may Allah bless all those who are married. Ameen
Very informative thank you . I would like to ask the Sheikh,how a Divorced sister should go about getting remarried especially after a traumatic first marriage.
@@dinaf.k5372 my ex husband was manipulative, controlling,abusive and a pure narcissist. He had countless affairs and I was always treated in a horrible and nasty manner. As a consequence of the divorce ,I suffered with terrible anxiety and panic attacks.after so many years and receiving counselling I am alhamdulilah mentally healthy again.
The thing with soulmates comes from the point where we all were only souls in the beginning. And those souls that were close to you then could be the souls you meet in this world where you feel like you know this person
Jazakarallah khayran …. This was much needed knowledge for the upcoming generation who are thinking about getting married. I wish I had this insight before I took the plunge. ☺️
Could you please go over the specific Islamic etiquette of getting to know a potential spouse? As an American revert, I find it extremely hard to understand the step by step process because a lot of information is vague. Obviously, as a revert, my parents wouldn’t be able to give guidance. I can go to someone at the mosque, but I’d love to know more specifically how it works and the nuances of it. Thank you!
If you have a good relationship with your parents then they can still give guidance. Them not being Muslim doesn't mean they can't see issues you might not notice simple from being mature and having your best interests at heart. It's important to involve them, especially your father. I hope the relationship is good so that this is possible
What a blessed conversation ma sha Allah!! Jaz Khairan! Please bring the sheikh back to discuss these pre marital questions and to go through scenarios ( role play maybe?) of situations to test the person s patience, deen and character. Would also love to have addressed the topic on HOW to remain happily married and on sexual topics. This is crucial and such a taboo but many Muslims want to know things such as oral sex is halal or not, use of sex toys allowed or not, can wife masturbate if sexually dissatisfied with her husband due to his low libido and she doesn’t want to divorce for the kids sake, etc. Jaz Khairan, pardon me but I want to be straightforward. Assalamualeikum wa wa b
Ain't happening 😮 i am from South India, i would never live my parents & start living separately 😊 just because we accepted modern things that doesn't mean i start keep relaxing to my will.
Assalamualakum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatohu ,very important topics for all of us to know I’m so glad that someone is talking about it .he’s shared so much valuable information that even I don’t know ,Jazaakillallah khairan May Allah Swt bless you Ameen ya Rabilaillahmeen
Been trying to get married for many years now. At this point I feel like it's a game of minesweeper where I just see redflags. Impossible to find someone online and too shy to approach in real life.
Jazakum Allah khayr for the beautiful interview and clever conversation Mashallah Very entertaining to watch and definitely beneficial, practical and to the point al Hamdoulilah. The speaker is wise, cultured and knowledgeable Mashallah. The questions were great as well If someone can help me understand the answer to the last question: we are allowed to test the other person without deception, lies or disrespect. What could be some of the good and appropriate ways to test the other person when it comes to real life scenarios and situations other than being direct or totally transparent about it?
@Shabana Tasleem I understand better JazakAllah Khayr for clarification. I think it depends on the type of person that you are. I tend to be intuitive and observant. I would go about how I feel the person is but as they mentioned in the interview we can’t just assume things such as the concept for soulmates because we never know if we truly are that compatible without gaining enough evidences. In general we would be spending enough time during engagement for exemple but maybe it happens that none of the encounters allow us to tap in some crucial elements and important personality traits. It would take some deeper digging to unfold more depth into the person’s character and morality than just “ time”. Also time has its limit, we won’t spend our life getting to know someone therefore we have to spend this time wisely. Maybe one scenario would be for example giving them different options and see which one they go for most of the time or asking them to do some tasks when they are naturally under pressure to see how they respond when stressed. May Allah grant us all beautiful patience and wisdom in such a process 🙏🏼
I’m new converted Muslim from very Christian religious family. I haven’t told them that I became a Muslim. Also knowing my family I expect a lot of negative towards me. I live in another country than they do Also if I have met a Muslim person I want to marry, how can I ask about blessing from my parents if they are anti Islamic? What your advice 😢 Thank you
I know you commented this 6 months ago, but an Imam or a sheikh can act as your guardian for marriage decisions. If you haven't gotten an answer to your question yet, try and ask an Imam either locally or in a big city for help incha Allah
I would like to ask how can a divorced woman with kids know or find out that a man would be good with her children? Is it a good idea for her children to meet him before taking the decision to marry? I hear stories about women finding out later after marriage that the husband cant tolerate her children etc and would love some advice on how to avoid this bi’ithnillah. BarakAllahu feekom.
Kids should go to your ex husband once you get married. It’s better for them to be protected from abuse for men who fear ALLAH swt and will take genuine care of your children are few.
They'd say they're fine with it at first maybe. It's not easy. Honestly I don't see myself remarriyng anytime soon (I got a 8y old and a 7y old). I divorced 7y ago. Don't wanna get to know anyone either, I got enough on my plate as is. I do keep asking Allah swt, if it's good for me and my aghirah to bless me with a new husband, and if its bad for me to keep it far far away. .
Just have a secret nikah, where the husband does not come into your home, and he has his own wife that he lifes with. Easy. A lot of women have done that. Last week in the uk, a non muslim boyfriend killed his pregnant girlfriend, raped her 11 year old daughter and killed her, killed the 11 year olds friend who was there for a sleep over, killed her 13 year old son. He beat them all with a hammer 😭
Please would you address the compatibility between spouses that are on different deen levels. Perhaps one spouse does salah, has more knowledge and the other not so much. Especially when it’s the woman who is islamically stronger. The respect for the male spouse who is weaker in deen in these cases can be low. How can these marriages be successful and should it be avoided for women to marry men who can provide and cares for her and the children but the deen is not prioritised.
Values are generally intrinsic I think but deen can be developed and worked on. You have to talk to each other frankly and discover how open he/she is to improvement. It's also important to not rush into things and you can "test" someone during that time by seeing if they are taking steps towards improvement.
Asalaamualikum thank you for covering this topic, I'm new to your podcasts, I was wondering if you can cover another aspect of this, what does an orphan female do to get married, some of us have no one to help us I'm in my 30s and I'm little lost as to how to deal with this issue in a halal way?
50:59 If somebody is respectfu to their parents, they gonna be respectful to you INN SHA ALLAH most likely. If they're rude to their parents they gonna be more rude to you because you will never equal their parents. I love that statement
I respect and admire Sheikh Bilal but it was odd how he completely negated the Mahr of Fatima saying its "from 1400 years ago" but still used stories from the seerah and hadiths to substantiate his claims
Money thing and characteristics are different aspects ... a person's character isn't time bound.. seerah and Hadiths are mostly to inspire characters of people.
Yes pls talk about finance and future goals before getting married. Dont marry coz ure in love only. Love will not feed your stomach and your future children and pay bills.
Very informative.. We have been looking for a bride for our son who is very sensitive, highly honest n sincere hence doesn't earn millions but decent enough for a living.. Al Hamdoulillah we are well off.. But still unable to find a humble simple religious girl.
I'm distracted with the teddy bear along with the books. And very great topic. Yet some principles of marriage (before) aren't tackled... In shaa Allah there would be part 2.
When I got married few years back my parents made big wedding and when my dad got the Mahir,I never received it wellahi,they took it and I didn’t ask for it
@@hayab9453 im sorry this happened, Allah is aware of all things and even if this injustice is not addressed in this life it will be in the next thats for certain. I dont know your situation so I wish you the best. Your right is your right, so dont give up on it. Maybe ask a sheikh to get involved to determine who actually owes that money. May Allah guide us ameen.
@@s.a.1083 ameen ,thank you that was one of the sweetest thing someone said to me, I understand why they did that they had big weeding and I was only 17 I think they used the money to pay for some stuff I’m not sure but the marriage was arranged and I wasn’t happy so we ended up divorcing and they returned the money, now I’m 24 by the way so that was 7 years ago.
Not too low ..it depends on guy ..if he is well off and offers lowest mahr is not permissible. However it depends on bride as well .. If a guy has few houses he coukd offer one of his property .. If a guy has nothing strongest iman can offer even $50 bucks if the bride agrees .. Their are no hard rules in Islam...super flexible and easy
What I really dislike about these discourses and why I find myself moving away, is the insistence of these scholars that everything is preachy perfect with the older generations and they've done no wrong, caused no damage, have no toxicity - they live in a state of delusion. Open your eyes and see how much damage these so called elders have done the Ummah - they themselves have destroyed it - look to your parents? 99% of elder generation's marriages are a sham - they're at each other's throats, fighting worse than cats & dogs, driving their kids out of the "home" to find peace and think children are puppets. Please, for the love of God, stop blaming the younger folks who want simple things and look at the havoc your elder generation has wreaked on the Ummah - they've destroyed it.
@Shabana Tasleem ao the fact that their marriages lasted longer is proof of good marriage? that's the aim? What's the aim of marriage? To have a partner for life, a partner not a cell mate
@@muratkaradeniz9745 you find me proper research conducted on the Ummah to start with - no I'm not projecting, I'm keeping count of the numbers from observation in the absence of proper research available
@@muratkaradeniz9745 Dude i live in a Society - and I observe. Go around and observe these amazing marriages that have lasted decades - 90% are no role models. The point of a marriage is not to just stay with someone and call it successful - it's a partnership. They keep blaming our generation when they themselves are so problematic. I know so many young folks unable to get married because these amazing "elders" have such demands! And the extravagant weddings they insist on. My point is it's unfair to just blame the younger generation when the elders haven't made homes people even want to stay in or come back to
I wasn’t born Muslim and the number 1 hardest thing for me is meeting people. I don’t have parents who can introduce me to someone and the masjid where I am is so rigidly segregated we barely interact with the women normally. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here
Are you male or female? Try to make friends with people in your Muslim community… volunteer attend classes or go to local Islamic stores or shops. Maybe consider taking a job in a Muslim country.
I THINK 🤔...THAT ADVISES!! ON HOW TO BEGIN AND OPEN UP A CONVERSATION WHEN YOU DO NOT KNOW THE HISTORY? OR THE TRUTH ABOUT... THE LIFESTYLE!! OF ANY GIVEN PERSON?... BUT FROM AN ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE?...OR ADVISES?.. FROM THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD...Peace And Blessings Of Allah(SWT) Be Upon Him!! Ameen!!
I was telling someone that my mom got married for a second time after our father died in her late 40s or early 50s. The way she looked at me like it is disgusting. Meanwhile there own ppl in 70s-90s have boyfriends and girlfriends! And that’s totally ok😅😂 i was like let me shut my mouth before i start a whole argument!
Salamo alaykom, just a simple translation of Dr Jasem's 10 questions:
1) What is your future ambition?
2) What is your understanding of marriage?
3) Which qualities would you like to see in your life partner?
4) Is it necessary to give birth in the first year?
5) Do you have any health or hereditary problems?
6) Are you sociable? who are your friends?
7) How is your relationship with your parents?
8) How do you spend your free time?
9) Do you have a charitable or voluntary activity?
10) What do you think about having your mom or my mom involved in our personal matters?
Jazakallah khair for this!
Can we do a video about the parents getting involved in personal matters? For me that’s a major 🚩
thank you
جزاك الله خير 🙏🏾
Can I have Dr jasems book
I’m not a Muslim but I learnt so much from this interview. Thank you for sharing. Hoping for a next interview with Sheikh Belal.
I invite you to Islam dear brother/sister. Study, learn, and read with an open mind and heart. My only request is that you ask for guidance from your creator. I wish nothing less than jannah (paradise) for you:)
Saa
SubhanAllah look at you, Allah AWJ guiding you towards Him. My prayers and heartfelt wishes go out to you brother/sister ☺️
Now you folks started to pimp each other.
I hope that one day Allah will grant you the opportunity to be associated with Islam. I hope I will pray for you my dearly sibling.
Sheikh Belal is a gem, may Allah protect him and his family. I loved the interaction which was warm, funny and respectful at the same time :)
Glad you enjoyed it! :)
Ameen
We have same name hh iam also amina noor osman from somalia🇸🇴💟
AMEEN
14:13 "another advice i give is look write down six or seven main things that you as a person you can never be able to tolerate" amazing points made regarding this topic!
As a Muslim father of two I really respect this man way of of thinking, he inspires me and gives very reasonable examples tabarak Allah his a zalameh
💯
Please always type tabarak Allah with A capital
Make sure you never make it impossible to marry your children the way todays Muslim parents make it for us.
@@Userbro0o hahah 😂 he's a zalameh = a real man
There is so much wisdom in what he said. I totally agree, i’m from Azad Kashmir Pakistan and my husband is from Karachi. We got married just out of emotions and eventually its a big disaster. Our customs, lifestyle are totally different we just cant get along . He feels uncomfortable with my relatives & im in his. I advise young couple to choose the partner wisely and keeping in mind all the points as Sir said. Dont get marry based on attraction, physical looks and emotions.
the thing is my family is so toxic that I would not even want my husband to be around them
@@riaon then after marriage, keep your distance. But make sure you fulfil your duty's as a daughter.
😅😅😊😊😊😊😊
Aameen and duas
Attractions and physical is everything. That is the first key of and character and honesty and hope for the best.
Questions to ask before marriage:
1. Where do you see your self in ‘x’ number of years? What is your outlook?
2. What is your world view? What are your thoughts about the world? What are we here for?
3. Ask about family. How do your family live? What do they enjoy doing? How did parents meet? How do you guys interact?
4. What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Tells about personality.
5. How do you see finances and management? Are they a spender or saver.
*there are 5 other questions I can’t find them tbd
Ask informally, it’s not interrogation. You can start talking about yourself. Leave the questions open ended. Don’t solely rely on conversation but also pay attention to how you feel and do some background work (social media + community). How do they act with their family? They will treat you the same when they get comfortable.
You can test a person but without lying or deception. To see how they react when put in certain situations.
Asking these questions is a good start but be aware that people lie. I know about even the parents lying about their kids to get them married, thinking the person will change with responsibility. But if the upbringing was not right, the capacity of handling responsibilities won’t be. Also, narcissism is a real thing. Someone can outwardly be someone and inwardly be someone else. They hide themselves very well, they manipulate very well, they are clever in giving quick responses. Be very observant and have a connection with Allah swt.
The person who wants to marry can also ask the friends or relatives of the husband/wife candidate's. I knew about this from my teachers too, that it's not only the husband/ wife candidate's parents that we can ask about because, like you said, they can provide a very biased opinion on their own child.
I haven't been married, but just recently I was saved from marrying someone who had a verbal abuse past to his ex-girlfriends. His parents and his brother said a lot of nice things about this man, but his friends and colleagues saying the opposite. I had a hunch that this was not right--thankfully I was able to cancel my marriage to him.
Its so good to see young muslim generation doing beneficial work for their Ummah it will inspire the upcoming generations. Mashallah and jazakum Allah khayran inchallah wa baraka
The books sorted by colour is extremely satisfying.
This conversation was no less than awesome. Many thanks to the hosts for the energy, the questions and the sense of humour and thanks to Cheikh Bilal for his smile, knowledge and kindness which were much appreciated. Salam Aleykoum from France and God bless U all!
Thank you for the kind words and we’re glad you enjoyed it!
Wailakumusalam from Australia 😄
One of the best lectures on this marriage thing. So many golden advices there. I'll always keep coming back to it and share it with others too insha Allah. Thanks Sheikh and this channel for addressing this beautifully.
This speakers voice is so soothing ! He will make a good voice for any audible books!
Mashallah, this was so insightful! May the Almighty make nikkah an easy journey for all of us Insha’Allah Ameen
Ameen!
Ameen🤲🤲
Please always type ma sha Allah with A capital
ameen
When you make dua to Allah, don’t say InShaaAllah after the dua. Just say Ameen ❤
I am also mixed. My dad is Iranian and my mom is Irish. It makes everything really weird and I didn’t notice it until the recent years. I’m 37 and haven’t been lucky enough to find whoever I’m supposed to be with yet. I don’t know that being mixed has something to do with it but I also don’t know that it doesn’t. Inshallah my time will come.
Inshallah that day is soon for you sister. I'm 26 and unmarried, I realise how quickly the clock ticks. It's scary but Inshallah Allah will open doors for us all. The priority is to get stronger in deen then pursue in the best way. Bi'ithnillah. At least that is my approach.
Inn Shaa Allah
Pray to ALLAH to pick your spouse who will be best suited for your khair in this life and the next. In-sha-ALLAH you will both be connected through the blessing of ALLAH.
Do your best in balancing for akhira/dunya rightfully and read this dua every day:
“Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” [25:74] رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا”
Also ask ALLAH to bless you with afiyah everyday for this life and the next.
Embrace your mixed ethnicity be proud of who you are and learn both cultures
Marriage is pre-decreed by God so if it is written for you it will happen at the time it is meant to. My cousin got married at 40 and had two daughters. A friend of mine got married at 41 to a guy in his thirties and had a daughter.
Rasulallah ﷺ said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279.
This was amazing to watch, this is pure wisdom.
What an inspiration of a man!
MashaAllah!
i am mixed as well and honestly the struggle is real. honestly at this point I feel like being with a mixed person would be the most comfortable for me
Most of our youngsters, even up to the age of 20 are nowhere near of being ready for marriage. Dont know how talking about it would change anything. Most of the problems come from the parents/household/society. If that does not change, then talking about marrying at a young age will dont bring any change.
Yep, agreed. I’m nearing 30 and I’m still struggling to find anyone
I'm new on your chan brothers, and I have to say, it was such a humble and heartwarming talk. Our hearts tend to forget that we are in need of talks like these, may Allah grant everyone from the Ummah with companions like you all. Salam from Germany 👊👊👊
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Mashallah he speaks very gently. Learned a lot
May Allah bless everyone with a good spouse that Allah approves of - Aameen
Dua plus action is the key
Well doesn’t happened that way god put women on earth 🌍 and it’s our own risk to find them and remember it’s up to the woman who will either choose you to marry you or not and there is always a good reason why most of the women will reject proposals
Sister was influence to get married to the same culture man, he’s “a scholar” of Islam
He wanted to have a child every year, yet did not want to raise feed or look after his children, his goal was to live the bachelor life with hang out with his friends
And also have his halal sexual desires meet
Forcing my sister to have the basic minimum life.
Live off the gov housing claim money and for her to work help pay for the bills so he don’t have too.
Now she divorced depressed and raising his kids alone living off the state
While he remarried blessed with umrah job child and new home
Women really suffer in this world
May Allah give barakah to your sister
May Allah make it easy for her and all of our sisters
may allah give her rewards for the patience and oppression she has received in this life ameen. And may allah grant her jannatul firdaus ameen
That sounds exactly right, it's a man's world. Bless your sister and she's better off away from him.
I'm half arab half indian and the struggle is real!
big thanks to the questions you guys asked - guess all us young people got the same questions lol. sheikh Bilal really answered them beautifully also keeping in mind the times we're living in... which is something alot of adults or parents don't consider.
Subhanallah may Allah guide us all and may Allah grant me righteous husband and all those who are single and may Allah bless all those who are married. Ameen
Aameen!
aameen
Liked before watching 😄
Legend 👍
Ma’shaa Allah loved this.
Inshallah Sheikh comes next time with the 10 questions.
Looking forward to that ❤
I love this. And i love how the younger guys are willing to learn and listen. It just shows that they take marriage serious in Islam.
Very informative thank you . I would like to ask the Sheikh,how a Divorced sister should go about getting remarried especially after a traumatic first marriage.
We’ll try our best to get this message to him inshaAllah
What happened in your first marriage, dear sister? Of course if u dont mind me asking
@@dinaf.k5372 my ex husband was manipulative, controlling,abusive and a pure narcissist. He had countless affairs and I was always treated in a horrible and nasty manner. As a consequence of the divorce ,I suffered with terrible anxiety and panic attacks.after so many years and receiving counselling I am alhamdulilah mentally healthy again.
@@pearls2733Is there a way in which I can contact you??
The thing with soulmates comes from the point where we all were only souls in the beginning. And those souls that were close to you then could be the souls you meet in this world where you feel like you know this person
SubhanAllah
Jazakarallah khayran …. This was much needed knowledge for the upcoming generation who are thinking about getting married. I wish I had this insight before I took the plunge. ☺️
Wa Iyakum, Alhamdulilah 😅
Could you please go over the specific Islamic etiquette of getting to know a potential spouse? As an American revert, I find it extremely hard to understand the step by step process because a lot of information is vague. Obviously, as a revert, my parents wouldn’t be able to give guidance. I can go to someone at the mosque, but I’d love to know more specifically how it works and the nuances of it.
Thank you!
Hey, you can hear Omar Suleiman's point of view, I'm sure it'll answer your questions.
@@komailhaider5089 Don't listen to him
@@Dont-worry1618 why? He gives great advice.
If you have a good relationship with your parents then they can still give guidance. Them not being Muslim doesn't mean they can't see issues you might not notice simple from being mature and having your best interests at heart. It's important to involve them, especially your father. I hope the relationship is good so that this is possible
@@user-pb5jt6xk2mHe has a more liberal view of Islam than what is near the Prophet and Sahabah
For those of us that are specifically looking…
Mahr is at the 9:00 mark
What a blessed conversation ma sha Allah!! Jaz Khairan! Please bring the sheikh back to discuss these pre marital questions and to go through scenarios ( role play maybe?) of situations to test the person s patience, deen and character. Would also love to have addressed the topic on HOW to remain happily married and on sexual topics. This is crucial and such a taboo but many Muslims want to know things such as oral sex is halal or not, use of sex toys allowed or not, can wife masturbate if sexually dissatisfied with her husband due to his low libido and she doesn’t want to divorce for the kids sake, etc. Jaz Khairan, pardon me but I want to be straightforward. Assalamualeikum wa wa b
Alhamdulilah, glad you enjoyed the episode!
These suggestions have been noted inshaAllah
True, l would also want to know......
@@waldahsulaiman6525 Gabriel Romani mentions this topics in his videos
I'm a revert to islam . I love my husband's family but have a complex life at the moment
May Allah make it easy for you inshaAllah
Inshaallah
Mashallah sheikh belal he’s a great story teller
Ain't happening 😮 i am from South India, i would never live my parents & start living separately 😊 just because we accepted modern things that doesn't mean i start keep relaxing to my will.
Definitely need those 10 questions haha Jazak’Allahukhairun for the lecture!
Look at the pinned comment akhi 🙏🏼
I make dua that bilal asad comes to Washington! He is such a gem may Allah reward him and increase him in ilm
InshaAllah your dua is answered!
This was so insightful, jazakallah ❤️
Ma sha Allah. May Allah increase you all.❤️
Allahuma Ameen. And you as well
Asc..we need to know the ten quetions
Sheikh Bilal is a lion allahumabarik lahu
May Allah bless all muslims with righteous spouses.
Excellent podcast, mā shā Allāh! Jazākumullāhu Khāyr
Wa Iyakum 🙏🏼
Masha Allah, I've learn alot in this interaction.
Alhamdulilah 🙏🏼
Assalamualakum wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatohu ,very important topics for all of us to know I’m so glad that someone is talking about it .he’s shared so much valuable information that even I don’t know ,Jazaakillallah khairan May Allah Swt bless you Ameen ya Rabilaillahmeen
Wa iyakum 👍🏽
Mashallah sheikh is giving great things to learners ❤
Been trying to get married for many years now. At this point I feel like it's a game of minesweeper where I just see redflags. Impossible to find someone online and too shy to approach in real life.
it’s so hard, i know. May Allah make ur easter for us all
no reason to be shy, ask your local imam
@@wealthwisdom1656 not always that simple.
@@karzan4784 did you try?
May Allah make it easy for you bro!
Masha’Allah. I enjoyed watching this video. Really good questions and guidance 👌🏽
🙏🏼🙏🏼
Jazakumullahu khayran.
I really learned a lot from this podcast of yours.
Wa'iyaakum! We are glad you enjoyed and learnt a lot :)
I wish I heard this before I got married.
🤷♂️
You can apply what you learnt now to your marriage :)
Very beneficial , Jazzakom Allah Alf Khayr
🙏🏼 wa iyakum
MashaAllah, so insightfull! Thank you.. Jazakallahu Khairan. May Allah bless you All..
Wa iyakum!
Very inspirational lecture SubhanAllah I have got to learn alot from this lecture thanks alot
I may or may not be agnostic, I’d like to learn about Islam
Jazakum Allah khayr for the beautiful interview and clever conversation Mashallah
Very entertaining to watch and definitely beneficial, practical and to the point al Hamdoulilah. The speaker is wise, cultured and knowledgeable Mashallah. The questions were great as well
If someone can help me understand the answer to the last question: we are allowed to test the other person without deception, lies or disrespect. What could be some of the good and appropriate ways to test the other person when it comes to real life scenarios and situations other than being direct or totally transparent about it?
@Shabana Tasleem I understand better JazakAllah Khayr for clarification. I think it depends on the type of person that you are. I tend to be intuitive and observant. I would go about how I feel the person is but as they mentioned in the interview we can’t just assume things such as the concept for soulmates because we never know if we truly are that compatible without gaining enough evidences.
In general we would be spending enough time during engagement for exemple but maybe it happens that none of the encounters allow us to tap in some crucial elements and important personality traits. It would take some deeper digging to unfold more depth into the person’s character and morality than just “ time”. Also time has its limit, we won’t spend our life getting to know someone therefore we have to spend this time wisely.
Maybe one scenario would be for example giving them different options and see which one they go for most of the time or asking them to do some tasks when they are naturally under pressure to see how they respond when stressed.
May Allah grant us all beautiful patience and wisdom in such a process 🙏🏼
I don’t know if I’ll ever need this in life but jazakallah khayrun. I hope I will insha’Allah
Beautiful talk!
Wow 😯 that’s was amazing congratulations
Thanks
@@FairDinkumAU you’re welcome 😇
@@FairDinkumAU you’re welcome dear 🙏
I’m new converted Muslim from very Christian religious family. I haven’t told them that I became a Muslim.
Also knowing my family I expect a lot of negative towards me. I live in another country than they do
Also if I have met a Muslim person I want to marry, how can I ask about blessing from my parents if they are anti Islamic? What your advice 😢
Thank you
I know you commented this 6 months ago, but an Imam or a sheikh can act as your guardian for marriage decisions. If you haven't gotten an answer to your question yet, try and ask an Imam either locally or in a big city for help incha Allah
11:00 Find someone who has similar family dynamics
16:25 three stages of attraction
Love this sheikh so much
We do too!!
MashaAllah, sheikh is on point
I would like to ask how can a divorced woman with kids know or find out that a man would be good with her children? Is it a good idea for her children to meet him before taking the decision to marry? I hear stories about women finding out later after marriage that the husband cant tolerate her children etc and would love some advice on how to avoid this bi’ithnillah. BarakAllahu feekom.
Kids should go to your ex husband once you get married. It’s better for them to be protected from abuse for men who fear ALLAH swt and will take genuine care of your children are few.
They'd say they're fine with it at first maybe. It's not easy. Honestly I don't see myself remarriyng anytime soon (I got a 8y old and a 7y old). I divorced 7y ago. Don't wanna get to know anyone either, I got enough on my plate as is. I do keep asking Allah swt, if it's good for me and my aghirah to bless me with a new husband, and if its bad for me to keep it far far away. .
Just have a secret nikah, where the husband does not come into your home, and he has his own wife that he lifes with. Easy. A lot of women have done that. Last week in the uk, a non muslim boyfriend killed his pregnant girlfriend, raped her 11 year old daughter and killed her, killed the 11 year olds friend who was there for a sleep over, killed her 13 year old son. He beat them all with a hammer 😭
@@shabziena that won't work if the ex-husband is toxic, unhealthy AND abusive!
@@razamughal4582 are you serious about the secret nikkah? Like are you serious? Wait.. are you okay?
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته.
Next time plz bring Muhammad Hoblos,with sheikh Bilal Assad
The best ephisode so far love your content
What a good topic I really enjoyed it this man makes a lot f sense
I’m not Muslim this information seems useful!
Please would you address the compatibility between spouses that are on different deen levels. Perhaps one spouse does salah, has more knowledge and the other not so much. Especially when it’s the woman who is islamically stronger. The respect for the male spouse who is weaker in deen in these cases can be low. How can these marriages be successful and should it be avoided for women to marry men who can provide and cares for her and the children but the deen is not prioritised.
OMG i want that episode like now!!.
we are already talking about divorce!
Values are generally intrinsic I think but deen can be developed and worked on.
You have to talk to each other frankly and discover how open he/she is to improvement.
It's also important to not rush into things and you can "test" someone during that time by seeing if they are taking steps towards improvement.
This shekih is best, I wish he came uk 🇬🇧 I was at his lectures 😊 I love his recite surah al-naba❤️I recite it everytime I go to work 😂
Asalaamualikum thank you for covering this topic, I'm new to your podcasts, I was wondering if you can cover another aspect of this, what does an orphan female do to get married, some of us have no one to help us I'm in my 30s and I'm little lost as to how to deal with this issue in a halal way?
46:00 questions by the renown match maker in the Middle East, psychologist
Sheik jasim Al mutawwa3
50:59
If somebody is respectfu to their parents, they gonna be respectful to you INN SHA ALLAH most likely. If they're rude to their parents they gonna be more rude to you because you will never equal their parents.
I love that statement
I respect and admire Sheikh Bilal but it was odd how he completely negated the Mahr of Fatima saying its "from 1400 years ago" but still used stories from the seerah and hadiths to substantiate his claims
Money thing and characteristics are different aspects ... a person's character isn't time bound.. seerah and Hadiths are mostly to inspire characters of people.
Thank you Sheikh. Jazakallahu Khairan Sheikh
Its extremely difficult for reverts to find suitable partners as we are not traditionally from a muslim society
what are the 10 questions to ask 😅
Yes pls talk about finance and future goals before getting married. Dont marry coz ure in love only. Love will not feed your stomach and your future children and pay bills.
This this an amazing topic to talks about jzk
Wa iyakum 🙏🏼
This is Maa Shaa Allah, jazakumllahu khairan
Wa iyakum 🙏🏼
Very informative.. We have been looking for a bride for our son who is very sensitive, highly honest n sincere hence doesn't earn millions but decent enough for a living.. Al Hamdoulillah we are well off.. But still unable to find a humble simple religious girl.
It’s 21st century, keep looking until he gets old 😆
I'm distracted with the teddy bear along with the books. And very great topic. Yet some principles of marriage (before) aren't tackled... In shaa Allah there would be part 2.
Mashallah,,may allah bless you shaikh that was amazing speech,, thank you guys and keep it up 😊
When I got married few years back my parents made big wedding and when my dad got the Mahir,I never received it wellahi,they took it and I didn’t ask for it
Haram to do that and you should talk to him about it
@@holidayseason1205 they paid him back, but when I was married for the 2 years I never saw the money
@@Connect_with_Yourself they gave me a hint saying they had to spend a lot of money for the wedding
@@hayab9453 im sorry this happened, Allah is aware of all things and even if this injustice is not addressed in this life it will be in the next thats for certain. I dont know your situation so I wish you the best. Your right is your right, so dont give up on it. Maybe ask a sheikh to get involved to determine who actually owes that money. May Allah guide us ameen.
@@s.a.1083 ameen ,thank you that was one of the sweetest thing someone said to me, I understand why they did that they had big weeding and I was only 17 I think they used the money to pay for some stuff I’m not sure but the marriage was arranged and I wasn’t happy so we ended up divorcing and they returned the money, now I’m 24 by the way so that was 7 years ago.
Please bring him back…
He’ll definitely be back inshaAllah!
guys the intro made me jump fr 😭 anyway JazakAllahu khairan !
Dear Sheikh, you should know about surah Buruc...
Not too low ..it depends on guy ..if he is well off and offers lowest mahr is not permissible.
However it depends on bride as well ..
If a guy has few houses he coukd offer one of his property ..
If a guy has nothing strongest iman can offer even $50 bucks if the bride agrees ..
Their are no hard rules in Islam...super flexible and easy
You can for all
What I really dislike about these discourses and why I find myself moving away, is the insistence of these scholars that everything is preachy perfect with the older generations and they've done no wrong, caused no damage, have no toxicity - they live in a state of delusion. Open your eyes and see how much damage these so called elders have done the Ummah - they themselves have destroyed it - look to your parents? 99% of elder generation's marriages are a sham - they're at each other's throats, fighting worse than cats & dogs, driving their kids out of the "home" to find peace and think children are puppets. Please, for the love of God, stop blaming the younger folks who want simple things and look at the havoc your elder generation has wreaked on the Ummah - they've destroyed it.
Do you have any stats for that mate? Or are you simply projecting your own familys situation onto the ummah as a whole?
@Shabana Tasleem ao the fact that their marriages lasted longer is proof of good marriage? that's the aim? What's the aim of marriage? To have a partner for life, a partner not a cell mate
@@muratkaradeniz9745 you find me proper research conducted on the Ummah to start with - no I'm not projecting, I'm keeping count of the numbers from observation in the absence of proper research available
@@AR-kz4zg Who are you? Why do you have this access to information of a huge number of our elders' marriages?
@@muratkaradeniz9745 Dude i live in a Society - and I observe. Go around and observe these amazing marriages that have lasted decades - 90% are no role models. The point of a marriage is not to just stay with someone and call it successful - it's a partnership. They keep blaming our generation when they themselves are so problematic. I know so many young folks unable to get married because these amazing "elders" have such demands! And the extravagant weddings they insist on. My point is it's unfair to just blame the younger generation when the elders haven't made homes people even want to stay in or come back to
Nah man I gave up on marriage. 30 yrs it’s over.
Don’t lose hope.. you still young!
Can we get some advice for the revert sisters who don’t Muslim family to ask questions
Send through some questions here inshaAllah
I wasn’t born Muslim and the number 1 hardest thing for me is meeting people. I don’t have parents who can introduce me to someone and the masjid where I am is so rigidly segregated we barely interact with the women normally. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here
Are you male or female? Try to make friends with people in your Muslim community… volunteer attend classes or go to local Islamic stores or shops. Maybe consider taking a job in a Muslim country.
May Allah make it easy for you 🙏🏼
which one is Ashraf? In relation to the example, he gave on being comfortable.
Love it! 👍👍👍
When is the 10 questions episode.. coming out?
I'm never getting married. And I'm never dating again. I will die alone with my kids . And God and I'm fine with that
I THINK 🤔...THAT ADVISES!! ON HOW TO BEGIN AND OPEN UP A CONVERSATION WHEN YOU DO NOT KNOW THE HISTORY? OR THE TRUTH ABOUT...
THE LIFESTYLE!! OF ANY GIVEN PERSON?... BUT FROM AN ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE?...OR ADVISES?.. FROM THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD...Peace And Blessings Of Allah(SWT) Be Upon Him!! Ameen!!
Maa Sha Allah. Jazakumullahu khayran
I was telling someone that my mom got married for a second time after our father died in her late 40s or early 50s. The way she looked at me like it is disgusting. Meanwhile there own ppl in 70s-90s have boyfriends and girlfriends! And that’s totally ok😅😂 i was like let me shut my mouth before i start a whole argument!