Hey brother , I didn't learn from 2018. I was with a quiet BPD then and I remember after watching your videos and then a few years went by and I totally forgot about her. NC contact is key, HOWEVER therapy is needed or it will happen again. it happened to me again, this time I was with a rager BPD and it easily almost destroyed my life. I'm getting weird nostalgia watching your vids again because I forgot about you as well and then re watching this series reminds me of what happened in 2018. only this time , much worse. I'm in therapy now and addressing my childhood wounds. we really are survivors after being with BPD women, it destroys your mental and emotional like no other. finally after 2 months of no contact I am feeling better, main keys NO CONTACT+THERAPY=HEALING.
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend aabsolutely and that's the sad thing no matter what you do you lose. Nothing would ever be good enough I learned the hard way by pouring everything of me into trying to solve it
You're not alone man. It's amazing how familiar all this is. I married mine after six months of dating. It felt SOO perfect. We were divorced after a year. Incidentally, she hated my cats! Suddenly became allergic (though never with visible symptoms)! I guess being jealous of pets is a BPD thing! You are so right about the chaos and control...she was always generating a fake crisis. After a certain number of suicide threats while I was at work I finally sent the cops over. She wouldn't answer the door so I told them via cell to knock it down. She was just chilling in there watching Gilmore Girls and sending me suicidal texts. In the end, I lost my life savings, nearly lost my job. But what we learned will last a life time, man!! Absolutely have to put it to use and never ever get in a shit show like that again. Keep strong!!!
im sorry you wen through that shit dude, she knew when she married you that she HAD you so the mask could come off, as stupid and insane as that sounds, that is how BPD's think! and yes the animal thing is a common trait for them, and of course she had allergies NOW lol what i scary is they make it hard to not beleive them until you step out of the fog an actually get away and only then you can see what they're doing. but yes, i will NEVER let this happen again to me, ever! im very weary now maybe too, but no way will allow this to happen again.
Boundaries!!!! One thing about being with someone with BPD is you get to learn how to have boundaries or they crush you. You have to be so determined to keep your boundaries that you would be willing to watch the relationship end just to stand up for yourself. If she threatens to leave you because of your dog that's when you say ok there is the door.
They will learn responsibility if you allow them but solving their problems is only enabling them. If they leave they leave. Most likely they will not. Most likely its a bluff.
jrharvey592 you're right, as I was in this I had no clue what was going on rather than fix her issues I was trying to make her happy within the relationship due to her issues with the dog and I was willing to be there for her through her other struggles but didn't know she was this badly disturbed, so she walked over me every time I kept trying to make her happy and bc I was afraid of losing her.. turns out she can't handle a relationship and what it takes for one to be successful. I finally stood up for myself and she didn't like it lashed out and that's when I went NC. She's a child. Who didn't give a shit Shit me or my feelings and I finally saw this.
BPD/NPD gfexperience I can see your in a lot of pain from this situation and your anger and confusion makes sense. You have a right to be angry but it may help to know most likely she was not evil even though it may seem that way. Both people with BPD and NPD feel intense and uncontrollable pain. sometimes the pain over something from the past takes over their entire body and can even feel like being on the fire from the inside. This is just a guess but I bet it has nothing to do with the dog. I bet her anger was for feeling misunderstood and alone. Most likely she has a terrible memory of a dog. That memory makes her feel such intense and unbearable pain. she expresses that pain to you hoping for relief and hoping you can save her. She may envision you comforting her and telling her how you understand her pain. Your natural reaction though is confusion. Maybe you feel attacked because she is attacking your dog. you don't understand why your dog isn't good enough. You defend like anyone else would. you may even get upset that she is not understanding for your dog. However she takes that defensiveness as you being unable to see her pain. her pain turns to anger. She feels you don't understand her. You are not her Savior. Now you are upset with her and on top of that she still feels pain from the past. She so desperately wants love but because she fears abandonment and feels you are not happy with her she gets an overflow of emotions and reacts with anger. she is too afraid to be vulnerable so it comes out as being nasty and a B. As things escalate you get more pissed and she feels unloved. I bet she didn't hate the dog. I bet she just hated the way the dog made her feel because there was no understanding. Maybe she truly is evil but I doubt it. Im curios if what I said sounds familiar.
she may not be "evil" but it is not my problem that she has unresolved issues from two exes ago. she should not have got with me, lied to me, hid issues she has with dogs, allowed me to fall in love, future faked with me if she knew she had these issues! i felt attacked, not by what she was saying about the dog, but bc she was a bitch to me. when i was nothing but there for her telling me to fuck off, go to hell when all i did was out solutions forward, told her lets face whatever this is together. If she isn't grown up enough to sit down and talk to me, to solve this, then fuck her. she put me through 4 months of shit tests, and i solved every one of them but she deemed it as failures bc she didn't want it solved. i was comforting, but when you are told fuck off, i hate you, i hate your dog, i don't know if i can be with you and your dog, and i chase her for 4 months to try and figure this out as she pushes and pulls me 24/7 even nice guys have their limits. i even straight up asked her, " what will make you happy ?" she said she doesn't know. but I'm deemed as the bad guy. This isn't about the dog, its about mommy and daddy ignoring her once her mom remarried and her step sis came, thats why she flipped about her sister being pregnant bc the baby would take more attention away, and that is why she doesn't like BF with dogs bc the dogs serve as babies in reference, no matter how they are treated they take away from her. i was patient, i know i was bc when this all began i made certain to myself to be i told myself over and over, but when she attacks me over and over and says mean death related comments and psychotic words and shows no remorse, no empathy, no compromise, no consideration of my feelings, and i'm supposed to just do all for her and her needs bc she has a " problem" that is not a relationship. like i've said, i don't run from problems, i would have helped her and been there for her, but one can't when the other is selfish, mean, not willing to compromise, and no matter how many times i told her you are killing me and it hurts, her actions continued. She again can go and destroy everyone else around hers life, not mine. Her parents walk on eggshells, let her throw tantrums, enable her but I'm the bad guy. my friend, she got out of therapy one day and took a 2 minute video of herself and ranted and yelled and sent it to me because her therapist told her she needs to compromise with me and my dog. In the video she went off on how she doesn't want to, she hates the dog, saying i guess if she loves me she has to let the dog be around. STRAIGHT CRAZY to video yourself and RANT bc your therapist told you, you have to compromise with your BF. i did all i can, i was there willing, she wouldn't see that its not the dog, and if she LOVED me she would accept him willingly just as i did for her horse, and as i did when she said in the future she wants a mini horse, do i like horses ? i don't hate them, but i could do without. It meant a lot that she wanted a mini at some point so i would make that happen for her in the future. She could not even give 1 OUNCE to me, and begin to repair what she created by ACTIONS not words.
Right, and i bet you never had a thought of treating the dog better or never had a intention, bc for me, a love for a dog is different than a love for a gf/bf. these people are just deranged.
I wanted this to work so bad, i had no idea what was going on, she never would sit down and talk to me, but would want things to go back to normal after her rages and vile words towards me and she couldn't understand why i was hesitant. Hours of arguments going in circles leaving me crazy and the main issue always avoided and blame upon me. left me crazy.
Someone told me that I need to be vulnerable in my relationship. Their was a point two weeks ago where I was so depressed that I wouldn't even talk to my boyfriend. I had to fight through my depression to talk to him about it. Yeah, this girl doesn't want to get help.
These people can't accept responsibility for their actions. My ex wife of 4 years always blamed me for everything . After a while I started to believe I was a piece of shit.
You wanted it to work because you're a good man. But she wasn't a good woman so didn't deserve your goodness. Always keep 20% of sanity for yourself and be aware of any Red Flags!!
Learning experience indeed. And if you see what happened and are able to understand how demented and sick these people are you’ll never go back and you’ll see signs way ahead of time from other people to avoid this shit!
BPD/NPD gfexperience yea they love using projection and gaslighting and verbal vomit and circular conversation. and silent treatments and hooverimg and stalking.shaming .by the time i went no contacted i had no energy left and i was so tired.and never an apologize. and i was told james im sorry you feel that way
Omg!!! You just explained my relationship with my ex-boyfriend of 4 1/2 yrs. I was a “normal” fun loving happy outgoing positive passionate person / preschool teacher. I love children and thrived when surrounded with family and friends. Every Saturday morning I with my church group of friends would volunteer to handout food and prayers to the less fortunate. The only missing in my life was a partner to share my life with. Long story short. 4 1/2 yrs off walking on eggshells all the crazy mood swings and narcissistic abuse I lost myself I was no long the person I was. He made me believe I was going crazy. The pain of being abused by someone you love and trust is beyond hurtful and shocking. Like you I have invested hours and hours of reading and watching You Tube videos to educate myself learning more about BPD & narcissistic behavior. Good news is I’m not crazy after all and I’m slowly finding myself again. Thanks!!! for making videos🙏🏻 😇
I look forward to your third video. Btw I found your video through facebook on a support page through span. You have made me want to share my story too. Thank you, and load video number three 😊
I just added two people. May or may not be you. Okay, lol some random person messaged me and was like, Do I know you? Lol! Look up Mariah Conklin with a pic of me with head phones on and a plaid blue and yellow long sleeved shirt.
Listening to your experience makes me sad...But that's good. It is a fine distraction from feeling foolish and angry. Seriously...I am just 2 weeks out of a 13 year relationship with a BPD / NPD. I knew they tended towards depression, manipulation, odd mania, relentless (and seeming useless) lying, idealizing / devaluing, but I didn't figure out they had these disorders until right after this last splitting and it was lucky coincidence. I watched a TH-cam video about Dave Foley's terrible divorce and he mentioned his ex was diagnosed with BPD. His description of her behavior sounded a lot like what I was dealing with...I did some research and Wow! It was a much needed moment of clarity. You will lose your self in these relationships..You get so used to acting in the ways they require, saying / not saying what they require. When they get angry you think "I must have put that wrong. I'll try again later." When they say the most irrational and hurtful things you just let it go...and try to avoid it in the future. They train you until you don't know who you are anymore. Its not until its over that you realize the losses you've suffered / tolerated.
Glad I found your videos. I used to date a guy that had un diagnosed BPD and he was literally a nightmare. Ten times worse then me. He'd say extremely hurtful things.
thank you, and im the type of guy who would help, or support the person, which i tried to do, maybe a little to hard, but she constantly didnt care, treated me and my dog like shit verbally, and always blamed me ironically.
Yes!! They just go silent when you confront them with something. Just no response. It's so crazy. Imagine talking to someone, ask them a question - and they just don't say anything back. Well, on occasion that was my Cluster B ex.
Thank you so much! You describe very similar experiences to mine. And that really helps to hear. The illogical arguments, emotional outbursts, insults, manipulation, sleep deprivation, drama, intense rage and everything else made me question my sanity. It took a long time to step back and be able to convince myself, it has nothing to do with me. I could just be calm and not get sucked into it. Easier said than done though. Hope things are good with you now!
Damn bro sounds like you had a girl about half as crazy as mine... we should have a convo about what we’ve gone through. You’ll trip when you hear how similar our stories are. Let me know if you’re down. 👍
Dude I love you! Sometimes dealing with this, I get so caught up in the delusional perceptive world of my significant other that I feel like I'm going insane. It's very isolating and scary, basically, especially when real love is involved. Thank you for your bravery in making these vids and helping me feel like I'm not alone in thinking these things and feeling isolated. You just got an instant brother LoL. Thank you.
Oh man you’re totally welcome I’m glad t helped! I felt alone and insane no where to turn until I began reading watching and then making these videos! So glad it helped as that and personal therapy was my only goal in making these videos.
Will K There’s a million of these vids on YT. Check out Narcissist Resistance with Ollie Mathews as the creator who has gone through all of this with his own asshole NPD parents. This dynamic is SO COMMON u would not believe it. Check out the channel I just mentioned and it is mindblowing how much insight is on there. I was raised by parents just like this so I learned really early what I never wanted to be and who I would never allow in my life. I went no contact with my family of origin 20 years ago and have never had a boyfriend or husband like this. I have had a couple of friends like this and I went ghost on them in a couple of months.
I relate to so much of this! I recently just got out of a 3 year! relationship with a BPD/NPD. I had read about it in the past year, but the ups and downs lead me to ignore what I was seeing and also because I am a people pleaser and wanted my relationship to wok out so badly because I still felt that this was the man I was suppose to be with forever. The @7:49 look in their eye, that devil look, it broke my heart because I felt like at that moment the person in front of me wasnt who I fell in love with. The insane risky behavior, speeding, breaking things, was all too much, I dont know how I pushed it aside just for it to happen 7-8 days later. One time a my ex was driving, a female driver was sopped in the middle of the road not cooperating and my ex told me to get out and beat her ass. Mind you I am also in the service, so that behavior was and will never be acceptable in my life. He was yelling at me in rage just trying to make me become like him, which I am nowhere near. Thank you once again for sharing your story! It is very therapeutic for me. I tried to leave him multiple times when I was away for months for work because he seemed so unhappy during so many times while I was home. Everytime I was away for work he would have severe separation anxiety, which lead me to focus on him and not work or my studies and lead me to come home early due to his separation anxiety. Two days after returning home early, he had another episode of rage.
wow, sounds like the same situation i was in!! glad you are out if it! stay out ! ik how hard it is to stay away even though mine was only 6 months it can feel liek forever, i can't imagine 3 yrs. so good for you! they make you feel guilt and especially you are a ppl pleaser like me it hit us hard! stay strong though and just remember, they are not who we fell in love with, never were. they are not that person just a shell of what they want you to bellieve they are. they dont love themselves so how can they love someone else ?
You are not crazy please know this. we here understand. a year and a half later i still have some conpkex ptsd. it gets better in time. sending you prayers.
Been through it myself. I got off lightly her next Bf got put in prison due to her web of lies. It was exactly the same pattern. It's been 10 years and I still can't have a relationship and the events still haunt me. Really helped seeing others experiences.
They are big on ultimatums. Mine gave me one, wanted me to choose between him and something that he was (appeared) fine with before. Literally overnight it became a big problem for him. The relationship exploded then and ended within two days. Still feeling the ripple effects.
not all bpd's are like this im bpd but im also getting help, your dealing with someone who isnt ready to get help run. p.s. been in a wonderful relationship for 13 years it wasnt that good at first cause i didnt even know what was wrong now im in dbt therapy and getting better. and we can take responsibility not all but some of us do.
She picked your dog because love to these girls requires YOU to give up something that matters deeply to you. Ive been with two borderline women that wanted me to give up my music . They believe that if you're willing to give something up for them, then you must love them . It's complete selfishness!
I hope you’re doing well. I relate to your experience 100%! My ex was extremely erratic and emotionally abusive. My ex hasn’t been diagnosed, but presents many of the symptoms of a BPD/NPD. Everything was about him and his needs. These people can do some serious damage to their partners, it’s a horrible and serious matter.
SeguralooVe I’m doing very good thank you! How are you doing ? How long has it been ? And they’re usually undiagnosed Bc if refusal to go get help. If they have symptoms. You can bet they have it
Thanks, I’ve been trying to get better. We broke up back in August but wasn’t official until 2 months ago when I actually decided to go NC and had enough with the games. I had never been in a relationship with someone who would make me feel so little and suck my emotions dry. Honestly i don’t even know how I’ve made it through. Im absolutely positive he has something serious going on up there. There was a lot of self-harm going on too. Have you healed completely?
SeguralooVe good you got away from it! I too never been in something that made me feel so weak and in that much pain... yup self harm was going on with her too in my situation. I’m completely healed now, yes. Doing better than I ever was. You’ll get there too as long as you keep away
BPDs see emotions as links. If you feel this, you do that. The emotion is the glue that makes one person behave in a way that benefits them. She wanted to take the emotional links you had towards your dog and point them towards her. In a world where positive emotional links are rare and hard to come by, this makes sense. BPDs live in scarcity when it comes to positive feelings. So they want all your feelings towards her. It's like a drug addict who wants all the drugs it can get because drugs are rare and expensive.
I dated a male BPD. He never shut up. The gaslighting was the worse. If I were to say "what about my needs," I'd get a four hour lecture on how that's all he did was take care of my needs. It was over two years ago and I can't get myself to even think about dating again. I even went to his BPD doctor cause I thought it was me. Before I went in the appointment he called and said, "just to let you know he's married" He wanted me to see his doc, and I went to his doctor cause basically he had me convinced I was wrong trying to convince him he was BPD when it was me. He was diagnosed with emotional deregulation disorder, not to mention he met every other criteria and took DBT. You know, he only was allowed supervised visitation with his kids. I keep thinking I was so stupid. And even now with him gone, I just get this feeling I was not strong enough to handle the situation. Mine was in counseling and it still was awful. The things he said were so creepy and sometimes I would wonder if I should alert authorities in case he ever did what he said. words, words words. Oh, he was very handsome and smarter than hell. He just hated me. My out was when he told me his new therapist said I was his trigger. I said I agreed and then cut him off completely. It still stings. All I got was severe depression, gained weight and took the blame. AGAIN.
Hope you are doing better. Mine ex moved out in February out of the blue. She has moved onto someone new, which I predicted. She suddenly hated my dogs too. So weird.
I went through the same thing buddy. The lovebombing, idealization, devalue, and discard. Definitely borderline waif/hermit. She liked her space and I liked mine. We were long distance but the relationship was very one sided. She would make promises she never kept. I always kept mine. She expected honesty, trust and she lied and manipulated, probably cheated though I have no proof. Never held her end of the bargain. I realize I played a part and was codependent and she played the damsel in distress and I was the white knight. You know in your gut something is missing but heat of passion. Sex was abundant but gradually tapered. She had told me very little but I know her biological father abused her mom possibly molested her. You stay because you feel like you're different. Like I'm going to be different than her exes. She wanted to be official right away probably the second week that we were dating. We both had kids and did the family thing. She tagged me on Facebook. Made me feel like I was king of the world. She adored me. But it all started to go downhill. If something is to good to be true it probably is. We even went on vacation together. Every flaw I had was used against me. The narcissistic traits she had. But like you said they don't take any responsibility. Me, me, me. Like fuck your feelings and don't pick out one flaw in them heaven forbid. It's not healthy. People get into relationships, healthy ones to give and make sure their partners needs are met. To all with BPD we know you're not all the same. When she broke up their was no remorse, empathy. She said she'd regret it. Doubt it. I even tried to contact her but she didn't answer but texted me instead. Btw she broke up with me over text. She was very cold towards me. I couldn't take it anymore and I even raged back to her myself. So crushed. But I don't miss the drama or the chaos at all. Have not heard from her in months. Her family did reach out to me. They loved me. Her step dad and I got along. That's who she always considered her dad. He basically said she's a different kind of person like he knows she's got issues. But her mom was very controlling. I don't know if it's love because love doesn't equal pain.
Shane Bollenbacher they’ll make you feel like you’re the king, tag you so everyone can see how goood they’re doing and look st what they got! How hot you are. Until it becomes old for them then they’ll start their bs. Love isn’t pain. If it is it’s good pain not the pain these ppl unleash to fill their empty souls
Can you help me? I don't know what to do anymore with my girlfriend. Were almost one and a half but in an ldr relationship.I can't tolerate anymore how she treats me badly with all the emotional abuse. How do I break up with her? Something happened today and I just tolde myself that this shit is enough but I don't know how.I lose sense of respect to myself and I am angry at myself for allowing all the abuse that I tolerated.I am really angry at myself right now.
Debbie Martinez you must be honest and straight forward. Tell her you don’t deserve to be treated how you have been, and it’s taking a toll on you mentally. Once you break it off you have to NOT be in contact with her. That is how I got through it. No talking , no social media, nothing. I told myself she was no longer in existence. And fought every urge to contact her. Do what’s right for yourself which it seems like the right choice is moving on from her
Would she just blow up at you for absolutely no reason at all or say horrible things? I had an ex BPD boyfriend who I went out with on my Birthday and he looked at me very intensely and said, "You are just not that bright." I didn't even say one word to him and that crap came out of his mouth. Still trying to figure out if the guy is BPD or a flipping sociopath. When I get triggered and feel stupid his words repeat in my head it really sucks.I don't know where this shit comes from but I would never just say that to my boyfriend even if we were in a fight.
My ex wanted to argue but only on her turf ie. her apartment above her parent's crib. One time we were arguing over the dumbest thing and I had enough of it and I said "alright, I have to go this is going no where". I collected my shoes and left, no word to stop me or anything. Got in my car it was then she hit me up and said "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS???!!!!, THIS IS ABANDONMENT! THIS IS NOT OK!". I just didn't get into it. She hit me up later and said "Im bleeding everywhere, I harmed myself". Went over and sure enough, she was not bullshitting. This girl slit her fuckin wrist up good. Brought her to hospital and had to go talk to her mom alongside my mom. It was very uncomfortable.
Oh ya. That’s definitely manipulation and unstable. Common tactic used when they harm themselves to make you feel guilty. Fact she actually went through with it though should cause some alarm. Tread lightly be safe.
Devil in her eye @7.49 - I had a similar experience with someone who is now my ex and hearing you describe this symptom made me shudder at the memory. The look has made me feel that my partner hates me more than anyone else in a way that I cannot even imagine. My question to you, and to anyone else that has experienced similar anger, is do you believe that the being showing you this cruelty is actually the same being? Do you completely believe that they are totally accountable for their behavior?
Yup its scary, its like she was possessed by the devil, i couldnt believe it, never experienced that look in someones eyes before, its like something took over. Not something you want to be a part of, those are the type of people who snap and kill you, or hurt you and then claim they didnt know what was going on.
This makes me so upset. The way they manipulate people and lash out at innocent creatures like dogs is just wrong! They do know the difference between right and wrong and need to have consequences for their behavior. It’s never ok to abuse someone else, mental disorder or not. My sister has BPD and I have had to learn to put up boundaries with her. I no longer allow her to manipulate me. If she starts with her crap, I tell her to go to DBT and get help. They can get help but most refuse to admit they ever have a problem.
HOLY CRAP!!! 9:36 describes everything I have heard in the last 24hrs. It was even to the point where she said that they told me less than 2 mins later that she is going to stay overnight with her boyfriend. Were still married btw
I'm in a relationship with a woman with bpd. I knew from the start right before we got together but I didn't know the extent of it or how bad it can be. am I making the wrong choice by being with her? we're a few months into the relationship and quite a lot she Twists what I say to make it seem like I meant something terrible. when I talk to her about it it's always "you, you, you"... she can't accept the wrong she says and does and somehow I'm the problem even if what I said wasn't bad but it's made to be. she's always doubting me and saying "if I cared, if I was enough etc". I know it's going to be mentally and emotionally exhausting because I can't do anything right in her eyes
My Bpd partner was jealous of a cat! It's about attention being taken off from the bpd. She probably freaked out about the baby because it's a 'thing' that takes attention off of her. You can jump through a million hoops for a BPD but they're never satisfied! The goal posts get moved all the time. It feels like you put out a fire, and while you're putting it out, they're in the corner lighting a new one :-// This video is too similar to my relationship.
you nailed it with that one, they are never satisfied, she destroyed me temporarily and took me down, everything i did was never good enough and she was never happy unless she was made to feel like God and given everything she wanted, and even then she was not happy. i believe you have similar experiences bc these people all play and read from the same script.
oh ABSOLUTLEY, i put out allllll the fires she had, i said ok to everything and said id fix what bothered her, this was in the beginning when i had little knowledge, bc what she was complaining about was so small it was ridiculous! and THEN once i solved those more fires would begin with her, bc she didn't have a fucking clue what her issue was bc it ws not the dog it was HER, and her upbringing and her failed parenting by her parents, that will NEVER BE SOLVED! you solve one thing, they will create another. BPD'S and NPD's can't be without conflict.
only on your 2nd vid and this describes my life from October 2015- Jan 2017. I mean to a T!..I just hope I can keep my head on straight. and get past all this..She was my world..I know she would not get help..she always resists and as u said the talks never go anywhere :/
William Graham don't try and get past it alone! you need help and understanding from ppl who've been through it. Support groups through Facebook, TH-cam videos, read, watch listen. They will destroy you to make themselves feel better and for them to be right. It's hard to leave the situation believe me, what I did was read countless book, articles, listen to TH-cam videos constantly, I was obsessed with it bc I felt instantly better when I did Bc no lie every single piece of media was spot on and showed me I wasn't at fault and it wasn't me. Support groups were very important and helpful! It's no joke what these types of people do. She was my world too! I was broken! I know what you mean..
William Graham don't argue either! Bc as you mentioned talks go nowhere and arguments go in circles you'll be left feeling confused and asking yourself wtf happened! my mom talked to My ex onetime and after, my mom said she has no idea what she was talking about and she went in circles about everything but the problem. She then understood why I was going crazy.
why are they all like this...? How is it that all of them so the same thing? I spend over 15,000 dollars on my PD ex and she would say such horrible things then apologize only to repeat them again.
Match Box I wish I knew but they are all the same. Same actions same anger. Just different story. It’s a circle they go in and will keep you in it forever if you allow it
I think that's true the we can thrive on chaos, but I do think that bpd's can take responsibility. I guess it is still an individual thing at the end of the day.
Mine just messaged me as I’m trying to move on...I sent her huge thing about her past history on drugs and how I’m proud of her always her as a friend And of course I’m reading into lines seeing if it’s sincere or fake Hurts so much...
Hey dude I'm just watching through your videos and want to tell you the thing about her hating your dog wasn't about the dog. It was about her twisted brain trying to separate you and isolate you from something you love. Sometimes it's family members friends or pets. But bpds do this a lot
What we need to ask is If we met them as they are Would we be attracted and want them??? It’s like seeing a cool dvd cover and being like wow looks cool Sounds good And then we watch the movie and go wtf was that? Now we either can keep that and never be interested in it again Or we can get rid of it Idk ima have to think this way to move on if ever
TALKSiiCK you’ll move on, just takes time. Key is to see what they do, and how they are and you’ll never ever believe a word they say again you won’t know what’s true. And that’s on them. Also important to stay away and keep no contact
Lol! I have BPD and I remember when I got so mad at my boyfriend's cat because the damn thing was such a little punk. We tried to solve the problem by walking the damn cat but he wouldn't walk. Eventually we just let him go outside and the problem was solved. This ex of yours is a lot more unstable then me that's for sure. I've said some pretty shitty ass things to my boyfriend but I would never actually be like it's either me or the cat. I wouldn't try to get my guy from giving away his fur baby.
see, that is why some people have hated my videos and me for what i say in them, but in reality its waht happened and what she did to me and how she made me feel, there is passion behind the videos and yes dislike for her bc of what she did. i have no problem with people with bpd who unedrstand what they have and take steps to get the help they need, but when she goes to therapy and uses that therapy for her advantage to manipulate me and use that to get what she wants, and further treat me like dirt, i have a real problem with it! she is not a good person, selfish, no remorse, no empathy and i experienced that fist hand. im thankful to GOD she is out of my life and dead to me.
BPD and covert narcissism is the equivalent to the Jezebel Spirit. Look at the two side by side. This is Biblical Scripture and warns us. I had all these similar experiences and even felt that I absorbed her condition and became infected myself. I didn’t feel like me. I was a shell of my former self. Sorry you went through this brother.
Message me on Skype @ earlhickey4 if you want to talk to someone who has been through this and come out the other side. Keep telling your story, it'll be good to get it out there.
Yep, I've seen the evil rage (look). Tears, mascara running down her face. All Cluster Bs blame shift and scapegoat. I didn't put up with it as long as you. ;)
yerr that's what it was your dog in your life !!! getting attention !!!..she wanted it all.. l had the same thing with my BPD girl-friend once we had a late night argument l went in the front room to sleep she had the bedroom to her self in the early morning l went to see if she was ok looked in the bedroom and she was not there.. shit l thought where is she my mind working over time.. l then went into the kitchen thinking she maybe outside some where and she was in the dogs bed with the dog on the cold kitchen floor with the duvet over her laughing and making strange noises ..not sure what hell this was about as she always she was Jealous of the dog so l never even let the dog in the front room as l was in fear of her reaction always .. so l played it safe ..l did look after my dog and made sure she was taken out walks every day my girlfriend did not like this at all she didn't want to come with me on walks so l went anyway l needed to get out so did the dog .. we went out everyday and weekends me and my girl-friend so its not as if l paid to much attention to the dog or to little to my girlfriend it was just crazy totally bonkers, l could go on but ill leave here for now.
it is insane how jealous these people are! it is no joke. they do not have developed minds it is like dealing with a 12 year old or younger. Glad you got out.
So I have BPD ...and most people who have BPD don't even know that they have a disorder, yet they do know something is wrong with them. I do feel for you and what you've been through, but not all people with BPD are monsters like you make them out to be .... Please consider this as well. And we don't all thrive off chaos....that's a HUGE stigmatization. We also definitely know how to take responsibility for our actions, and we feel tons of guilt for our wrong doings. Most people with BPD actually self harm and take out our emotions on ourselves, instead of others. I'm sorry that you had a bad experience with someone who had BOTH BPD and NPD. But please don't write off people with mental illness just because you had one bad experience. We are people too and imagine how hard it is for someone who doesn't even know they have a personality disorder like this. Thank you.
She sounds more like my narcissistic husband he is always jealous of my sister my son etc ...it’s his way or the high way . No Empathie and manipulative gaslighting and selfish always looking for faults and control and never enough for that person what you do and give . It’s always about him
You got to make them pay. There's no rational reasoning. They believe your shit is there's. You literally have to crush them, use their fears against them. Like I stated they leave you. You don't leave them. Give them back their own medicine and be merciless. You can win this game but not with outright logic. Once you're trapped in a snake pit there's no need asking how I got here...only how do I get the fuck out with minimal collateral damage. You must declare relationship WAR. If this sounds cruel then you've not been with a true borderline. They are weak and cowardly with low self esteem but cunning and cruel. They don't care about you because they hate themselves. Violence will not work. Emotional warfare does work.
Hey brother , I didn't learn from 2018. I was with a quiet BPD then and I remember after watching your videos and then a few years went by and I totally forgot about her. NC contact is key, HOWEVER therapy is needed or it will happen again. it happened to me again, this time I was with a rager BPD and it easily almost destroyed my life. I'm getting weird nostalgia watching your vids again because I forgot about you as well and then re watching this series reminds me of what happened in 2018. only this time , much worse. I'm in therapy now and addressing my childhood wounds. we really are survivors after being with BPD women, it destroys your mental and emotional like no other. finally after 2 months of no contact I am feeling better, main keys NO CONTACT+THERAPY=HEALING.
The borderline grin when you are feeling pain is a dead giveaway
You were trying to fix the impossible, it was just a game. You didn't know you were in a game so you lose.
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend aabsolutely and that's the sad thing no matter what you do you lose. Nothing would ever be good enough I learned the hard way by pouring everything of me into trying to solve it
The only way to get revenge/win the game is to go NO CONTACT
Samuel Birku upp
You're not alone man. It's amazing how familiar all this is. I married mine after six months of dating. It felt SOO perfect. We were divorced after a year. Incidentally, she hated my cats! Suddenly became allergic (though never with visible symptoms)! I guess being jealous of pets is a BPD thing! You are so right about the chaos and control...she was always generating a fake crisis. After a certain number of suicide threats while I was at work I finally sent the cops over. She wouldn't answer the door so I told them via cell to knock it down. She was just chilling in there watching Gilmore Girls and sending me suicidal texts. In the end, I lost my life savings, nearly lost my job. But what we learned will last a life time, man!! Absolutely have to put it to use and never ever get in a shit show like that again. Keep strong!!!
im sorry you wen through that shit dude, she knew when she married you that she HAD you so the mask could come off, as stupid and insane as that sounds, that is how BPD's think! and yes the animal thing is a common trait for them, and of course she had allergies NOW lol what i scary is they make it hard to not beleive them until you step out of the fog an actually get away and only then you can see what they're doing. but yes, i will NEVER let this happen again to me, ever! im very weary now maybe too, but no way will allow this to happen again.
Mine started hating my dog too...
Boundaries!!!! One thing about being with someone with BPD is you get to learn how to have boundaries or they crush you. You have to be so determined to keep your boundaries that you would be willing to watch the relationship end just to stand up for yourself. If she threatens to leave you because of your dog that's when you say ok there is the door.
They will learn responsibility if you allow them but solving their problems is only enabling them. If they leave they leave. Most likely they will not. Most likely its a bluff.
jrharvey592 you're right, as I was in this I had no clue what was going on rather than fix her issues I was trying to make her happy within the relationship due to her issues with the dog and I was willing to be there for her through her other struggles but didn't know she was this badly disturbed, so she walked over me every time I kept trying to make her happy and bc I was afraid of losing her.. turns out she can't handle a relationship and what it takes for one to be successful. I finally stood up for myself and she didn't like it lashed out and that's when I went NC. She's a child. Who didn't give a shit Shit me or my feelings and I finally saw this.
BPD/NPD gfexperience I can see your in a lot of pain from this situation and your anger and confusion makes sense. You have a right to be angry but it may help to know most likely she was not evil even though it may seem that way. Both people with BPD and NPD feel intense and uncontrollable pain. sometimes the pain over something from the past takes over their entire body and can even feel like being on the fire from the inside. This is just a guess but I bet it has nothing to do with the dog. I bet her anger was for feeling misunderstood and alone. Most likely she has a terrible memory of a dog. That memory makes her feel such intense and unbearable pain. she expresses that pain to you hoping for relief and hoping you can save her. She may envision you comforting her and telling her how you understand her pain. Your natural reaction though is confusion. Maybe you feel attacked because she is attacking your dog. you don't understand why your dog isn't good enough. You defend like anyone else would. you may even get upset that she is not understanding for your dog. However she takes that defensiveness as you being unable to see her pain. her pain turns to anger. She feels you don't understand her. You are not her Savior. Now you are upset with her and on top of that she still feels pain from the past. She so desperately wants love but because she fears abandonment and feels you are not happy with her she gets an overflow of emotions and reacts with anger. she is too afraid to be vulnerable so it comes out as being nasty and a B. As things escalate you get more pissed and she feels unloved. I bet she didn't hate the dog. I bet she just hated the way the dog made her feel because there was no understanding.
Maybe she truly is evil but I doubt it. Im curios if what I said sounds familiar.
she may not be "evil" but it is not my problem that she has unresolved issues from two exes ago. she should not have got with me, lied to me, hid issues she has with dogs, allowed me to fall in love, future faked with me if she knew she had these issues! i felt attacked, not by what she was saying about the dog, but bc she was a bitch to me. when i was nothing but there for her telling me to fuck off, go to hell when all i did was out solutions forward, told her lets face whatever this is together. If she isn't grown up enough to sit down and talk to me, to solve this, then fuck her. she put me through 4 months of shit tests, and i solved every one of them but she deemed it as failures bc she didn't want it solved. i was comforting, but when you are told fuck off, i hate you, i hate your dog, i don't know if i can be with you and your dog, and i chase her for 4 months to try and figure this out as she pushes and pulls me 24/7 even nice guys have their limits. i even straight up asked her, " what will make you happy ?" she said she doesn't know. but I'm deemed as the bad guy. This isn't about the dog, its about mommy and daddy ignoring her once her mom remarried and her step sis came, thats why she flipped about her sister being pregnant bc the baby would take more attention away, and that is why she doesn't like BF with dogs bc the dogs serve as babies in reference, no matter how they are treated they take away from her. i was patient, i know i was bc when this all began i made certain to myself to be i told myself over and over, but when she attacks me over and over and says mean death related comments and psychotic words and shows no remorse, no empathy, no compromise, no consideration of my feelings, and i'm supposed to just do all for her and her needs bc she has a " problem" that is not a relationship. like i've said, i don't run from problems, i would have helped her and been there for her, but one can't when the other is selfish, mean, not willing to compromise, and no matter how many times i told her you are killing me and it hurts, her actions continued. She again can go and destroy everyone else around hers life, not mine. Her parents walk on eggshells, let her throw tantrums, enable her but I'm the bad guy. my friend, she got out of therapy one day and took a 2 minute video of herself and ranted and yelled and sent it to me because her therapist told her she needs to compromise with me and my dog. In the video she went off on how she doesn't want to, she hates the dog, saying i guess if she loves me she has to let the dog be around. STRAIGHT CRAZY to video yourself and RANT bc your therapist told you, you have to compromise with your BF. i did all i can, i was there willing, she wouldn't see that its not the dog, and if she LOVED me she would accept him willingly just as i did for her horse, and as i did when she said in the future she wants a mini horse, do i like horses ? i don't hate them, but i could do without. It meant a lot that she wanted a mini at some point so i would make that happen for her in the future. She could not even give 1 OUNCE to me, and begin to repair what she created by ACTIONS not words.
Right, and i bet you never had a thought of treating the dog better or never had a intention, bc for me, a love for a dog is different than a love for a gf/bf. these people are just deranged.
I wanted this to work so bad, i had no idea what was going on, she never would sit down and talk to me, but would want things to go back to normal after her rages and vile words towards me and she couldn't understand why i was hesitant. Hours of arguments going in circles leaving me crazy and the main issue always avoided and blame upon me. left me crazy.
Someone told me that I need to be vulnerable in my relationship. Their was a point two weeks ago where I was so depressed that I wouldn't even talk to my boyfriend. I had to fight through my depression to talk to him about it. Yeah, this girl doesn't want to get help.
These people can't accept responsibility for their actions. My ex wife of 4 years always blamed me for everything . After a while I started to believe I was a piece of shit.
You wanted it to work because you're a good man. But she wasn't a good woman so didn't deserve your goodness. Always keep 20% of sanity for yourself and be aware of any Red Flags!!
Learning experience indeed. And if you see what happened and are able to understand how demented and sick these people are you’ll never go back and you’ll see signs way ahead of time from other people to avoid this shit!
BPD/NPD gfexperience yea they love using projection and gaslighting and verbal vomit and circular conversation. and silent treatments and hooverimg and stalking.shaming .by the time i went no contacted i had no energy left and i was so tired.and never an apologize. and i was told james im sorry you feel that way
Aw man I feel every single word you’re saying. I am living in your shoes holy shit.
Omg!!! You just explained my relationship with my ex-boyfriend of 4 1/2 yrs. I was a “normal” fun loving happy outgoing positive passionate person / preschool teacher. I love children and thrived when surrounded with family and friends. Every Saturday morning I with my church group of friends would volunteer to handout food and prayers to the less fortunate. The only missing in my life was a partner to share my life with. Long story short. 4 1/2 yrs off walking on eggshells all the crazy mood swings and narcissistic abuse I lost myself I was no long the person I was. He made me believe I was going crazy. The pain of being abused by someone you love and trust is beyond hurtful and shocking. Like you I have invested hours and hours of reading and watching You Tube videos to educate myself learning more about BPD & narcissistic behavior. Good news is I’m not crazy after all and I’m slowly finding myself again. Thanks!!! for making videos🙏🏻 😇
I look forward to your third video. Btw I found your video through facebook on a support page through span. You have made me want to share my story too. Thank you, and load video number three 😊
find me on FB if you want to reach out, discuss, chat. it always helps to share at least for me. SPAN is awesome!
Find me not sure which is you lol Sasha sh
Sasha, can you please share your story with me? Maybe send me a request on Facebook or through email?
Okay. I'll add you or message you. Look in your other folder.
I just added two people. May or may not be you. Okay, lol some random person messaged me and was like, Do I know you? Lol! Look up Mariah Conklin with a pic of me with head phones on and a plaid blue and yellow long sleeved shirt.
Listening to your experience makes me sad...But that's good. It is a fine distraction from feeling foolish and angry. Seriously...I am just 2 weeks out of a 13 year relationship with a BPD / NPD. I knew they tended towards depression, manipulation, odd mania, relentless (and seeming useless) lying, idealizing / devaluing, but I didn't figure out they had these disorders until right after this last splitting and it was lucky coincidence. I watched a TH-cam video about Dave Foley's terrible divorce and he mentioned his ex was diagnosed with BPD. His description of her behavior sounded a lot like what I was dealing with...I did some research and Wow! It was a much needed moment of clarity.
You will lose your self in these relationships..You get so used to acting in the ways they require, saying / not saying what they require. When they get angry you think "I must have put that wrong. I'll try again later." When they say the most irrational and hurtful things you just let it go...and try to avoid it in the future. They train you until you don't know who you are anymore. Its not until its over that you realize the losses you've suffered / tolerated.
Glad I found your videos. I used to date a guy that had un diagnosed BPD and he was literally a nightmare. Ten times worse then me. He'd say extremely hurtful things.
thank you, and im the type of guy who would help, or support the person, which i tried to do, maybe a little to hard, but she constantly didnt care, treated me and my dog like shit verbally, and always blamed me ironically.
Yes!! They just go silent when you confront them with something. Just no response. It's so crazy. Imagine talking to someone, ask them a question - and they just don't say anything back. Well, on occasion that was my Cluster B ex.
Thank you so much! You describe very similar experiences to mine. And that really helps to hear.
The illogical arguments, emotional outbursts, insults, manipulation, sleep deprivation, drama, intense rage and everything else made me question my sanity. It took a long time to step back and be able to convince myself, it has nothing to do with me. I could just be calm and not get sucked into it. Easier said than done though.
Hope things are good with you now!
Damn bro sounds like you had a girl about half as crazy as mine... we should have a convo about what we’ve gone through. You’ll trip when you hear how similar our stories are. Let me know if you’re down. 👍
Dude I love you! Sometimes dealing with this, I get so caught up in the delusional perceptive world of my significant other that I feel like I'm going insane. It's very isolating and scary, basically, especially when real love is involved. Thank you for your bravery in making these vids and helping me feel like I'm not alone in thinking these things and feeling isolated. You just got an instant brother LoL. Thank you.
Oh man you’re totally welcome I’m glad t helped! I felt alone and insane no where to turn until I began reading watching and then making these videos! So glad it helped as that and personal therapy was my only goal in making these videos.
Will K There’s a million of these vids on YT. Check out Narcissist Resistance with Ollie Mathews as the creator who has gone through all of this with his own asshole NPD parents. This dynamic is SO COMMON u would not believe it. Check out the channel I just mentioned and it is mindblowing how much insight is on there. I was raised by parents just like this so I learned really early what I never wanted to be and who I would never allow in my life. I went no contact with my family of origin 20 years ago and have never had a boyfriend or husband like this. I have had a couple of friends like this and I went ghost on them in a couple of months.
I relate to so much of this! I recently just got out of a 3 year! relationship with a BPD/NPD. I had read about it in the past year, but the ups and downs lead me to ignore what I was seeing and also because I am a people pleaser and wanted my relationship to wok out so badly because I still felt that this was the man I was suppose to be with forever. The @7:49 look in their eye, that devil look, it broke my heart because I felt like at that moment the person in front of me wasnt who I fell in love with. The insane risky behavior, speeding, breaking things, was all too much, I dont know how I pushed it aside just for it to happen 7-8 days later. One time a my ex was driving, a female driver was sopped in the middle of the road not cooperating and my ex told me to get out and beat her ass. Mind you I am also in the service, so that behavior was and will never be acceptable in my life. He was yelling at me in rage just trying to make me become like him, which I am nowhere near. Thank you once again for sharing your story! It is very therapeutic for me. I tried to leave him multiple times when I was away for months for work because he seemed so unhappy during so many times while I was home. Everytime I was away for work he would have severe separation anxiety, which lead me to focus on him and not work or my studies and lead me to come home early due to his separation anxiety. Two days after returning home early, he had another episode of rage.
wow, sounds like the same situation i was in!! glad you are out if it! stay out ! ik how hard it is to stay away even though mine was only 6 months it can feel liek forever, i can't imagine 3 yrs. so good for you! they make you feel guilt and especially you are a ppl pleaser like me it hit us hard! stay strong though and just remember, they are not who we fell in love with, never were. they are not that person just a shell of what they want you to bellieve they are. they dont love themselves so how can they love someone else ?
You are not crazy please know this. we here understand. a year and a half later i still have some conpkex ptsd. it gets better in time. sending you prayers.
Been through it myself. I got off lightly her next Bf got put in prison due to her web of lies. It was exactly the same pattern. It's been 10 years and I still can't have a relationship and the events still haunt me. Really helped seeing others experiences.
They are big on ultimatums. Mine gave me one, wanted me to choose between him and something that he was (appeared) fine with before. Literally overnight it became a big problem for him. The relationship exploded then and ended within two days. Still feeling the ripple effects.
not all bpd's are like this im bpd but im also getting help, your dealing with someone who isnt ready to get help run. p.s. been in a wonderful relationship for 13 years it wasnt that good at first cause i didnt even know what was wrong now im in dbt therapy and getting better. and we can take responsibility not all but some of us do.
She picked your dog because love to these girls requires YOU to give up something that matters deeply to you. Ive been with two borderline women that wanted me to give up my music . They believe that if you're willing to give something up for them, then you must love them . It's complete selfishness!
Mine made me give up a managers job. 2 days later she left me.
I hope you’re doing well. I relate to your experience 100%! My ex was extremely erratic and emotionally abusive. My ex hasn’t been diagnosed, but presents many of the symptoms of a BPD/NPD. Everything was about him and his needs. These people can do some serious damage to their partners, it’s a horrible and serious matter.
SeguralooVe I’m doing very good thank you! How are you doing ? How long has it been ? And they’re usually undiagnosed Bc if refusal to go get help. If they have symptoms. You can bet they have it
Thanks, I’ve been trying to get better. We broke up back in August but wasn’t official until 2 months ago when I actually decided to go NC and had enough with the games. I had never been in a relationship with someone who would make me feel so little and suck my emotions dry.
Honestly i don’t even know how I’ve made it through. Im absolutely positive he has something serious going on up there. There was a lot of self-harm going on too. Have you healed completely?
SeguralooVe good you got away from it! I too never been in something that made me feel so weak and in that much pain... yup self harm was going on with her too in my situation. I’m completely healed now, yes. Doing better than I ever was. You’ll get there too as long as you keep away
For my own sanity and for my inner peace it’s best I stay away from him forever. I’m glad to hear you’ve recovered 🙏🏼
SeguralooVe good to hear! And thank you. These experiences change us at least it did for me, but hopefully it’s for the better
I'm sorry for what you went through with this dangerous person. Hope things are better. No contact is the only solution.
BPDs see emotions as links. If you feel this, you do that. The emotion is the glue that makes one person behave in a way that benefits them.
She wanted to take the emotional links you had towards your dog and point them towards her. In a world where positive emotional links are rare and hard to come by, this makes sense. BPDs live in scarcity when it comes to positive feelings. So they want all your feelings towards her.
It's like a drug addict who wants all the drugs it can get because drugs are rare and expensive.
I dated a male BPD. He never shut up. The gaslighting was the worse. If I were to say "what about my needs," I'd get a four hour lecture on how that's all he did was take care of my needs. It was over two years ago and I can't get myself to even think about dating again. I even went to his BPD doctor cause I thought it was me. Before I went in the appointment he called and said, "just to let you know he's married" He wanted me to see his doc, and I went to his doctor cause basically he had me convinced I was wrong trying to convince him he was BPD when it was me. He was diagnosed with emotional deregulation disorder, not to mention he met every other criteria and took DBT. You know, he only was allowed supervised visitation with his kids. I keep thinking I was so stupid. And even now with him gone, I just get this feeling I was not strong enough to handle the situation. Mine was in counseling and it still was awful. The things he said were so creepy and sometimes I would wonder if I should alert authorities in case he ever did what he said. words, words words. Oh, he was very handsome and smarter than hell. He just hated me. My out was when he told me his new therapist said I was his trigger. I said I agreed and then cut him off completely. It still stings. All I got was severe depression, gained weight and took the blame. AGAIN.
Hope you are doing better. Mine ex moved out in February out of the blue. She has moved onto someone new, which I predicted. She suddenly hated my dogs too. So weird.
I went through the same thing buddy. The lovebombing, idealization, devalue, and discard. Definitely borderline waif/hermit. She liked her space and I liked mine. We were long distance but the relationship was very one sided. She would make promises she never kept. I always kept mine. She expected honesty, trust and she lied and manipulated, probably cheated though I have no proof. Never held her end of the bargain. I realize I played a part and was codependent and she played the damsel in distress and I was the white knight. You know in your gut something is missing but heat of passion. Sex was abundant but gradually tapered. She had told me very little but I know her biological father abused her mom possibly molested her. You stay because you feel like you're different. Like I'm going to be different than her exes. She wanted to be official right away probably the second week that we were dating. We both had kids and did the family thing. She tagged me on Facebook. Made me feel like I was king of the world. She adored me. But it all started to go downhill. If something is to good to be true it probably is. We even went on vacation together. Every flaw I had was used against me. The narcissistic traits she had. But like you said they don't take any responsibility. Me, me, me. Like fuck your feelings and don't pick out one flaw in them heaven forbid. It's not healthy. People get into relationships, healthy ones to give and make sure their partners needs are met. To all with BPD we know you're not all the same. When she broke up their was no remorse, empathy. She said she'd regret it. Doubt it. I even tried to contact her but she didn't answer but texted me instead. Btw she broke up with me over text. She was very cold towards me. I couldn't take it anymore and I even raged back to her myself. So crushed. But I don't miss the drama or the chaos at all. Have not heard from her in months. Her family did reach out to me. They loved me. Her step dad and I got along. That's who she always considered her dad. He basically said she's a different kind of person like he knows she's got issues. But her mom was very controlling. I don't know if it's love because love doesn't equal pain.
Shane Bollenbacher they’ll make you feel like you’re the king, tag you so everyone can see how goood they’re doing and look st what they got! How hot you are. Until it becomes old for them then they’ll start their bs. Love isn’t pain. If it is it’s good pain not the pain these ppl unleash to fill their empty souls
Can you help me? I don't know what to do anymore with my girlfriend. Were almost one and a half but in an ldr relationship.I can't tolerate anymore how she treats me badly with all the emotional abuse. How do I break up with her? Something happened today and I just tolde myself that this shit is enough but I don't know how.I lose sense of respect to myself and I am angry at myself for allowing all the abuse that I tolerated.I am really angry at myself right now.
Debbie Martinez you must be honest and straight forward. Tell her you don’t deserve to be treated how you have been, and it’s taking a toll on you mentally. Once you break it off you have to NOT be in contact with her. That is how I got through it. No talking , no social media, nothing. I told myself she was no longer in existence. And fought every urge to contact her. Do what’s right for yourself which it seems like the right choice is moving on from her
Would she just blow up at you for absolutely no reason at all or say horrible things? I had an ex BPD boyfriend who I went out with on my Birthday and he looked at me very intensely and said, "You are just not that bright." I didn't even say one word to him and that crap came out of his mouth. Still trying to figure out if the guy is BPD or a flipping sociopath. When I get triggered and feel stupid his words repeat in my head it really sucks.I don't know where this shit comes from but I would never just say that to my boyfriend even if we were in a fight.
These relationships are not reciprocal, it's all one way, like you say absolutely no compromise from them
My ex wanted to argue but only on her turf ie. her apartment above her parent's crib. One time we were arguing over the dumbest thing and I had enough of it and I said "alright, I have to go this is going no where". I collected my shoes and left, no word to stop me or anything. Got in my car it was then she hit me up and said "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS???!!!!, THIS IS ABANDONMENT! THIS IS NOT OK!". I just didn't get into it. She hit me up later and said "Im bleeding everywhere, I harmed myself". Went over and sure enough, she was not bullshitting. This girl slit her fuckin wrist up good. Brought her to hospital and had to go talk to her mom alongside my mom. It was very uncomfortable.
Oh ya. That’s definitely manipulation and unstable. Common tactic used when they harm themselves to make you feel guilty. Fact she actually went through with it though should cause some alarm. Tread lightly be safe.
Devil in her eye @7.49 - I had a similar experience with someone who is now my ex and hearing you describe this symptom made me shudder at the memory. The look has made me feel that my partner hates me more than anyone else in a way that I cannot even imagine.
My question to you, and to anyone else that has experienced similar anger, is do you believe that the being showing you this cruelty is actually the same being? Do you completely believe that they are totally accountable for their behavior?
Yup its scary, its like she was possessed by the devil, i couldnt believe it, never experienced that look in someones eyes before, its like something took over. Not something you want to be a part of, those are the type of people who snap and kill you, or hurt you and then claim they didnt know what was going on.
This makes me so upset. The way they manipulate people and lash out at innocent creatures like dogs is just wrong! They do know the difference between right and wrong and need to have consequences for their behavior. It’s never ok to abuse someone else, mental disorder or not. My sister has BPD and I have had to learn to put up boundaries with her. I no longer allow her to manipulate me. If she starts with her crap, I tell her to go to DBT and get help. They can get help but most refuse to admit they ever have a problem.
So similar to my situation I left her a year ago she hated my dog too
HOLY CRAP!!! 9:36 describes everything I have heard in the last 24hrs. It was even to the point where she said that they told me less than 2 mins later that she is going to stay overnight with her boyfriend. Were still married btw
Then at 11:25 she created issues for me and I tried fixing it too and she would put no effort to fix anything.
Yup! they are ALL the same. It’s funny how they operate the same way just with different scripts!
I'm in a relationship with a woman with bpd. I knew from the start right before we got together but I didn't know the extent of it or how bad it can be. am I making the wrong choice by being with her? we're a few months into the relationship and quite a lot she Twists what I say to make it seem like I meant something terrible. when I talk to her about it it's always "you, you, you"... she can't accept the wrong she says and does and somehow I'm the problem even if what I said wasn't bad but it's made to be. she's always doubting me and saying "if I cared, if I was enough etc". I know it's going to be mentally and emotionally exhausting because I can't do anything right in her eyes
If she is bpd, run like Forrest Gump and save yourself!
This part was hard to watch. Hope the next parts are in better spirits, more closure, and clarity. 🙈
My Bpd partner was jealous of a cat! It's about attention being taken off from the bpd. She probably freaked out about the baby because it's a 'thing' that takes attention off of her.
You can jump through a million hoops for a BPD but they're never satisfied! The goal posts get moved all the time. It feels like you put out a fire, and while you're putting it out, they're in the corner lighting a new one :-//
This video is too similar to my relationship.
you nailed it with that one, they are never satisfied, she destroyed me temporarily and took me down, everything i did was never good enough and she was never happy unless she was made to feel like God and given everything she wanted, and even then she was not happy. i believe you have similar experiences bc these people all play and read from the same script.
NC is the only safe zone from these types.
oh ABSOLUTLEY, i put out allllll the fires she had, i said ok to everything and said id fix what bothered her, this was in the beginning when i had little knowledge, bc what she was complaining about was so small it was ridiculous! and THEN once i solved those more fires would begin with her, bc she didn't have a fucking clue what her issue was bc it ws not the dog it was HER, and her upbringing and her failed parenting by her parents, that will NEVER BE SOLVED! you solve one thing, they will create another. BPD'S and NPD's can't be without conflict.
was your dog really that bad though?
My ex bpd partner was jealous of my pride and joy car lol
only on your 2nd vid and this describes my life from October 2015- Jan 2017. I mean to a T!..I just hope I can keep my head on straight. and get past all this..She was my world..I know she would not get help..she always resists and as u said the talks never go anywhere :/
William Graham don't try and get past it alone! you need help and understanding from ppl who've been through it. Support groups through Facebook, TH-cam videos, read, watch listen. They will destroy you to make themselves feel better and for them to be right. It's hard to leave the situation believe me, what I did was read countless book, articles, listen to TH-cam videos constantly, I was obsessed with it bc I felt instantly better when I did Bc no lie every single piece of media was spot on and showed me I wasn't at fault and it wasn't me. Support groups were very important and helpful! It's no joke what these types of people do. She was my world too! I was broken! I know what you mean..
William Graham don't argue either! Bc as you mentioned talks go nowhere and arguments go in circles you'll be left feeling confused and asking yourself wtf happened! my mom talked to
My ex onetime and after, my mom said she has no idea what she was talking about and she went in circles about everything but the problem. She then understood why I was going crazy.
oh man, I'm dealing with all of this. So hard
Stay strong. No contact is the only healing factor that can solve this
why are they all like this...? How is it that all of them so the same thing? I spend over 15,000 dollars on my PD ex and she would say such horrible things then apologize only to repeat them again.
Match Box I wish I knew but they are all the same. Same actions same anger. Just different story. It’s a circle they go in and will keep you in it forever if you allow it
I think that's true the we can thrive on chaos, but I do think that bpd's can take responsibility. I guess it is still an individual thing at the end of the day.
Man you had it rough!
That devil look in her eyes! Thanx man.
wtf? I would never say fuck off to my boyfriend thats so abusive.
yup, shed say it all the time, along with may other nasty words like have a nice life...
BPDs are architects of their own misery---desperately searching for project managers.
I hope you people understand how impaired BPDs are.
Mine just messaged me as I’m trying to move on...I sent her huge thing about her past history on drugs and how I’m proud of her always her as a friend
And of course I’m reading into lines seeing if it’s sincere or fake
Hurts so much...
Hey dude I'm just watching through your videos and want to tell you the thing about her hating your dog wasn't about the dog. It was about her twisted brain trying to separate you and isolate you from something you love. Sometimes it's family members friends or pets. But bpds do this a lot
Oh my fucking God my BPD gf hates my dog all of the sudden too! Wtf
You can just fell that your a nice chill dude. Sorry
adam lorden thank you my friend
What we need to ask is
If we met them as they are
Would we be attracted and want them???
It’s like seeing a cool dvd cover and being like wow looks cool
Sounds good
And then we watch the movie and go wtf was that?
Now we either can keep that and never be interested in it again
Or we can get rid of it
Idk ima have to think this way to move on if ever
TALKSiiCK you’ll move on, just takes time. Key is to see what they do, and how they are and you’ll never ever believe a word they say again you won’t know what’s true. And that’s on them. Also important to stay away and keep no contact
BPD/NPD gfexperience thank u
Lol! I have BPD and I remember when I got so mad at my boyfriend's cat because the damn thing was such a little punk. We tried to solve the problem by walking the damn cat but he wouldn't walk. Eventually we just let him go outside and the problem was solved. This ex of yours is a lot more unstable then me that's for sure. I've said some pretty shitty ass things to my boyfriend but I would never actually be like it's either me or the cat. I wouldn't try to get my guy from giving away his fur baby.
see, that is why some people have hated my videos and me for what i say in them, but in reality its waht happened and what she did to me and how she made me feel, there is passion behind the videos and yes dislike for her bc of what she did. i have no problem with people with bpd who unedrstand what they have and take steps to get the help they need, but when she goes to therapy and uses that therapy for her advantage to manipulate me and use that to get what she wants, and further treat me like dirt, i have a real problem with it! she is not a good person, selfish, no remorse, no empathy and i experienced that fist hand. im thankful to GOD she is out of my life and dead to me.
Not sure what you did but I am able to see all of your comments instead of trying to find each one. Thank you!
low volume : \
BPD and covert narcissism is the equivalent to the Jezebel Spirit. Look at the two side by side. This is Biblical Scripture and warns us.
I had all these similar experiences and even felt that I absorbed her condition and became infected myself. I didn’t feel like me. I was a shell of my former self. Sorry you went through this brother.
Message me on Skype @ earlhickey4 if you want to talk to someone who has been through this and come out the other side.
Keep telling your story, it'll be good to get it out there.
thank you, i just sent you a request. id love to chat.
Does this message Still count for other ppl?
Watch the Classic 1934 Betty Davis movie. " Of Human Bondage"
Yep, I've seen the evil rage (look). Tears, mascara running down her face. All Cluster Bs blame shift and scapegoat. I didn't put up with it as long as you. ;)
My mother! Trust me your better off loving your little dog than these toxic ppl.
yea it was crazy
Nothing substantial to add other than the shirt seems apt.
yerr that's what it was your dog in your life !!! getting attention !!!..she wanted it all.. l had the same thing with my BPD girl-friend once we had a late night argument l went in the front room to sleep she had the bedroom to her self in the early morning l went to see if she was ok looked in the bedroom and she was not there.. shit l thought where is she my mind working over time.. l then went into the kitchen thinking she maybe outside some where and she was in the dogs bed with the dog on the cold kitchen floor with the duvet over her laughing and making strange noises ..not sure what hell this was about as she always she was Jealous of the dog so l never even let the dog in the front room as l was in fear of her reaction always .. so l played it safe ..l did look after my dog and made sure she was taken out walks every day my girlfriend did not like this at all she didn't want to come with me on walks so l went anyway l needed to get out so did the dog .. we went out everyday and weekends me and my girl-friend so its not as if l paid to much attention to the dog or to little to my girlfriend it was just crazy totally bonkers, l could go on but ill leave here for now.
it is insane how jealous these people are! it is no joke. they do not have developed minds it is like dealing with a 12 year old or younger. Glad you got out.
So I have BPD ...and most people who have BPD don't even know that they have a disorder, yet they do know something is wrong with them. I do feel for you and what you've been through, but not all people with BPD are monsters like you make them out to be .... Please consider this as well. And we don't all thrive off chaos....that's a HUGE stigmatization. We also definitely know how to take responsibility for our actions, and we feel tons of guilt for our wrong doings. Most people with BPD actually self harm and take out our emotions on ourselves, instead of others. I'm sorry that you had a bad experience with someone who had BOTH BPD and NPD. But please don't write off people with mental illness just because you had one bad experience. We are people too and imagine how hard it is for someone who doesn't even know they have a personality disorder like this. Thank you.
She sounds more like my narcissistic husband he is always jealous of my sister my son etc ...it’s his way or the high way . No Empathie and manipulative gaslighting and selfish always looking for faults and control and never enough for that person what you do and give . It’s always about him
Stephanie PosterGirl yup! Ya got that right
Sounds like a friend of mine
we lose our identity...Google/TH-cam 'Enmeshment'
You got to make them pay. There's no rational reasoning. They believe your shit is there's. You literally have to crush them, use their fears against them. Like I stated they leave you. You don't leave them. Give them back their own medicine and be merciless. You can win this game but not with outright logic. Once you're trapped in a snake pit there's no need asking how I got here...only how do I get the fuck out with minimal collateral damage. You must declare relationship WAR. If this sounds cruel then you've not been with a true borderline. They are weak and cowardly with low self esteem but cunning and cruel. They don't care about you because they hate themselves. Violence will not work. Emotional warfare does work.