You a good man bro! You deserve someone that’s gonna treat you with respect, love and honesty. I’ve been through the same manipulation and torment. It really effects your self esteem and it hurts our friends and family members because they hate us seeing us miserable. I admire you for your courage and outpouring of words. These girls have underdeveloped cognition. It’s like dealing with a 2 year old child throwing a temper tantrum
Thank you my friend. And you’re absolutely right it’s like deal with a child and it takes a toll on you until you’re finally done from it and can see what they did. But it lingers for sure!
@@bossofallbosses1989 oh I didn't. She just started calling about our kid after ghosting. Don't worry she stopped shortly after and I haven't heard from her again. My kid doesn't miss her or even really remember her
What is amazing is how BPD family members conform into their child's/siblings's situation. They always pick their side. I actually tried to make friends with my ex's relatives but when things went South it was no contact from them after that. It is like I never existed to them. I think they conform into the life of BPD and handle all boyfrineds of the BPD like it was just another job they quit or like a piece of clothing or a pet. To my face they were friends but when push came to shove , it was like I did not exist as if they were afraid that MY BEING in their life would somehow be bad for them . And I a cool dude, people like me and I have lots of friends.
I had been in a similar situation where my ex-partner was creating these 'fake-problems' just to mess with me and keep me in control. Even though I solved a lot of problems there was always a new one because of me. Finally got rid of her, best thing I ever did !
Omg! I feel so sorry about you ans your dog. When you mentioned what she said about your dog, it broke me down into tears. I hope you are living a great life, you and your dog.
"Toxic" Therapists must love that word. I heard it twice in this last (and final) splitting. They told me "My certified therapist says I'm fine and that you need help." "They say I need to get out of this toxic relationship." I can only imagine the narrative of lies this poor unwitting therapist is being fed. Without meeting anyone else in the BPDs life what chance is there of a correct diagnosis...? I'm guessing none.
Earthandweather oh ya! Lies upon lies she was told her my therapist to get out of the toxic relationship as if I was toxic! There's no winning and no hope for these people. Get out save yourself don't question or try to figure it out! Do your best to ignore wanting questions answers. To be truly helped they must acknowledge everything and want to be helped and know what they do. But they don't care about anything but being right and what they can gain from you!
i took a lot of what she said and was still patient, still around, still trying to help. still waiting for that heartfelt apology that would make me feel at ease and release the elephant sitting on my chest. Need happened. I was even willing to put her harsh words she said about me and death talk of animals and my dog aside bc i was patient and knew it wasn't about the dog but she never allowed that happen. She never wanted responsibility to fix this, she even told me its too much pressure that it is all on her to fix, EVEN when i said id be there with her.
I still haven't gotten an apology from my BPD ex and I never will but somehow the guy is married and has been for 6 years. He couldn't see what he did wrong to me. He even said to me once that his own mom thought that I was pretty stupid. It's like, gee thanks fucking asshole. I get that he's projecting on me but still. He would just say this stupid shit out of the blue I honestly did not get it. It's like damn am I really that stupid? Nope. The jerk was projecting all of his insecurities on me. With BPD you have to validate them constantly it's a huge struggle. This girl you were with is very high functioning. I hope that you are able to find a women that is more on your level.
Ya they’re natorius for making things a living hell for you once they do not get there way. Gray rock her until you are able to be away from her. Google the term. It gives you a piece of mind and allows you to keep your sanity
I'm currently in a relationship with a bpd male, he's exactly the same as your describing, we have children.. and I'm trapped, he takes care of us financially, so I literally have no way out, plus he threatens to kill himself, and that terrifies me, for the children's sake! BPD really is a cruel and extremely damaging condition.
you always have a way out, youre only trapped if you allow yourself to be. Not saying itll be easy but your health is important, bc these people will break you down mentally! plan, do planning, create a way out!!. my experience changed me for good, im not sure if that is good or bad yet, im very jaded towards people, and would rather not be in their company, it got worse after my experience. do your work and plan, get out!
BPD/Narcs will NEVER actually kill themselves no matter how much they threaten it. In fact, they are insanely afraid of death. That's the reason that they use threat of death, because its the scariest thing they can threaten you with. No one is trapped in a relationship. If you are in an abusive situation, please get help from the local authorities, get an attorney and terminate the relationship. Go complete no-contact. Get your life back and protect it by any means necessary.
This video should be mandatory for every guy in highschool and college. It is almost word for word my life for 2018. I didn't have a dog but my ex called my son "that son of that whore " and told me I was lazy cos I didn't get up and go buy makeup with her in the morning after 3 hours of sleep. She apologized all the time about everything and tried to make it better with sex
Those are red banners! WRONG WAY DO NOT ENTER DEAD END ROAD ENDS HERE CAUTION HAZZARD And I totally know what you mean by they don't make you feel better. No matter what you say they don't just say a few words to make you feel better.
no, exactly, its like they play from the same book!! everyone of one of these. all that is needed is some nice words, some comfort ya know ? I'm a strong person but beaten down so much, that person needs to take iniiative to make better the war they started! but they never do no matter how much you plead or chase.
Ryan C Barking mad! lol She needs constant validation and attention, mixed with tragic fear of abandonement and toxic levels of envy. Over a god damn dog. This isn't crazy, this is a product of a highly unemphatic brain. She has little neurons in her frontal lobe.
yup! and little care to see what she does to people even when they say it directly to her face, and bc she wants what she wants she isn't gonna hear it! Thank God im out of it, im almost healed from this tragic experience that i wish upon no one, she's out a black void in my heart about relationships and i hope someone comes along and shows me otherwise, until then, i relish being alone, and not in the same position i was with this lunatic!
The thing I’m seeing is We can blame them which they do deserve a lot of it But what about us Like maybe this was a sign for us to go thru this Maybe that’s why we attract them because we lack shit too
@@Mark_Bayer so crazy I’m seeing these notifications today Last night I found out she’s pregnant And had sex with her ex meth head in a hotel Weeks before Not sure if it’s true that last part Just hurts I’ve been hung up on this girl Since 25 I’m 32… And I try to move on and all I meet is girls with drug felony charges and addictions I get I ain’t perfect But I don’t need that shit again God bless us all dealing with this shit
hi bro. man i loved your video. i cried and cried and cried. im goin thru the same thing. been with her for 5 years and i love her so much. i even helped raise her kids which makes it harder because i love them too. she would leave me every 3 weeks and stay gone for a week to a month at a time. all for stupid reasons. her jealousy was insane. i couldn't watch tv if their was a blond on the screen. we couldn't go in public without her accusing me of looking at women. and i wasn't!! she couldn't get enough attention. i love giving it but it wasn't ever enough. i begged her lets get help together. i was willing to go with her to a therapist. she said ok but everytime we get close to goin, she would leave me for something stupid. i always begged her to come back. but im not this time. its been a month now and i havent heard from her. its killing me inside because i still love her and her kids so much!! Please pray for me. thank you
I'm sorry for your pain. I don't really understand bpd entirely myself. It feels like you're your normal self, and then you suddenly get OVERWHELMED with insanely strong emotions, and because of that you become someone else. But I also often feel "disconnected" from myself as well, almost like the real me is numbed out, and my levels of empathy can be delayed. While in a rage, there is almost no empathy whatsoever. It feels like you are in the fight/flight mode and your body just knows it has to destroy the threat and that is all that matters, every other function shuts down. When I am not in a rage my moods are constantly fluctuating, and with those fluctuating moods comes fluctuating indentities. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and flooded with extreme guilt, pain, empathy. Other times I take pride in hurting others because they can't hurt me and I was raised by people with npd and aspd that took great pride in cruelty and sadism - my brain gets confused and thinks maybe that's the way I'm supposed to be, the way I should be. I think I'm faulty because I was taught that being good is bad, and bad is good. Like my empathy is some shameful, bad weakness. And when I did have empathy, it was always taken advantage of. I always felt like a fool for feeling empathy for them and letting them in again because I was duped everytime. One of my ways to cope with watching them take great pride in causing me agony was to do the same, but there was never any winning with them that way either because if you copied them you were the bad person and they were still innocent and perfect. If you didn't copy them, you were squashed down and suffocated and I would've just died if I stuck to always being nice or always being cruel, I couldn't ever be one thing. I had to be unpredictable to survive. The void inside them was so callous and constant, there was never any apologies or acknowledgement of what they really were or were doing, and there was never any escape and never any empathy, you are constantly at fault and you are pulled and ripped in every single direction because there is nothing that works to escape them or to please them, so you become completely disorganised and shatter into a million pieces to cope because that way they never know what to expect from you and can't really put a constant form of treatment or label on you as easily. I have many questions about bpd, some people say that the love and empathy we feel is not real even though we really do experience the emotions. Like, it's a "love delusion" we experience. And I've thought about that over and over and I don't think that is actually the case, at least not for me. I wonder what differences there are between different people with bpd as well as all other personality disorders. And I've also heard people say that we can often have a victim complex, which I think that can be true for some of us. For me I think part of it is I'm so confused and on guard and stuck in my pain that I become an abuser myself, but then I don't really know if that's the entire truth. It can be really hard to decipher when it actually is my fault and when it isn't because I've been gaslit my whole life from day one and told I was at fault when I wasn't. So now I'm completely confused and not sure when I am and when I'm not, and I constantly worry about people with npd, aspd, psychopathy and such finding me and using my disorder as a way to hide as the victim when actually, they are the master puppeteer. But then I'm like "well maybe that is my victim complex", but then at the same time if I say it's a victim complex then I'm invalidating and not acknowledging the truth that I really was abused, and it really wasn't my fault, so I'm really confused. I gaslight myself by telling myself it's my fault, but I gaslight others by telling them it's theirs. Everything is extremely confusing and a constant cycle of warped. Sometimes I do not know what anything is. Everything is upside down, inside out, and I just don't know. But at the same time I do. I just feel like I'm everything and nothing all at once but also no, that's not true. I know it has been proven that people with bpd can find recovery which is good, but it's a long journey, not some overnight fix. Years. Regardless I'm really sorry for what you went through, I don't entirely understand her every action because she clearly has her own unique reasoning and psychology but you definitely didn't deserve what you got.
I can relate. This is very serious. Thank god your dog is ok and yourself! i was so gaslighted i didnt seek any medical attention and i know my son and i were poisoned near the end when i figured him out 6 years later. i feel for you. this stuff is life or death.
I understand your pain completely. My situation is with my husband of 13 yrs and no one in his life has ever told him that he might be the problem. He has called me every vile thing under the sun. I’m like you where I could never say anything mean to him. No he has left me and has filed for divorce 😭
Sounds exactly like my ex. NPD / BPD for sure. As a caretaker personality, you're in great danger. He said exactly the same "Fuck off!", "Fuck you!", "You don't respect me!" -- I would never say this to him. It's when they put the blame on you and project. The worst is, when you know exactly what is wrong with them, but they take no accountability. You are forced to end the relationship while you wished it worked out.
What a nasty human being! How can anyone hate an innocent dog? That is psychotic behavior! My sister has BPD, but, she has a conscience and I can’t imagine her lashing out at a dog. I think she had some extra issues going on there. Damn!
Haha I hear your dog licking his paws in the background! I’m sorry that happend to you with the narc ex thank goodness u and ur dog don’t need to deal with her anymore
oh ya man! NUTS! she saw the dog through FaceTime once, he walked by me and she was pissed, telling me she should be mad at me for letting him come into view., bc the sight of the dog put her in a bad mood! She even made a video not sure if i mentioned this in my videos, but she got out of therapy and therapist said she needs to compromise and she literally made a selfie 2 -3 min video rant about how she doesn't want to, how the DOG and I Win, she has to compromise, how she doesn't want to...etc.. and her tone was mean, nasty, and with vengeance like and she sent that over to me. She literally sat in her car to record herself and send it to her BF .
My ex-wife actually did SAY the words "Well I guess Spot* won" about my cat after we were divorced. *Cat name changed to preserve anonymity (mine, not the cat)...btw she almost "accidentally" ran over the cat once (yeah, that cat got kicked out of the house) and I only knew about it because someone was with her who told me...
asalane20 As long as you learn from these experiences and don’t stay or repeat the mistake than it’s all for a great reason these things occur. One should also investigate their own family of origin issues to see why you attract this type.
I've been in therapy and what they are saying is that she is histrionic narc and borderline. Cluster B they overlap. Self entitled princess drama queen. Did your ex cheat? Have no proof but pretty sure mine did.
My bpd ex would speak in code where she would just repeat phrases like “no go” or “good to go” and if I asked what she meant by it should would just repeat her catch phrase. She would build me up during the day and then a switch was flipped and she would tell she hates me, called me a bitch and a monster and a piece of shit. Completely unprovoked. Then the next morning would roll around and she would be wishing me a good day and telling me she loves me like she has no memory of the horrible things she said the night before. There’s no cure for bpd and there’s no living with it. It’ll kill you.
When you talk about her reaction to the dog in the camera view, and how she felt neglected or upset by the dog. Its as though the dog is in a love triangle with you both and she feels threatened by this. My experience was where my partner with bpd created a scenario that didnt happen and then she explained it to me and blamed me for this imaginary scene in her head, and you are literally stood there saying WTF. How these types of people can create such nonsense is incredible. I was accused of so much stuff that never happened that bordered on the ridiculous. Even Hollywoods best script writers could not create the stuff I experienced.
Total lack of empathy but always so offended when you try to set limits. "How can you hurt me like that?!" would say my cluster B ex after I'd give him silent treatment in response to his silent treatment. (Yes, I stooped to his level once or twice when I ran out of any sane ways of getting through to him. It was a total waste of my mental energy because it was not only completely ineffectual (see example above) but most importantly made me feel worse about myself.)
My ex narc I bought her a dog. A beautiful toy poodle. So she runs her front leg over with her car. Take her to the vet and she loses the ability to move her front leg pretty much her nerves are shot. She blames the dog something about her pulling on her paw when it was under her wheel. At first I didnt know what a narcissist was. This happened like 9 years ago. I just found out about narcissism about 2 years ago. It makes me question if she did this on purpose to hurt me. Because it did. I've been no contact for 4 months now because I couldn't take her abuse on me anymore. I have the dog now because I didnt trust her anymore. I didnt realize all the stuff she did to me was intentional. The gas lighting and all. I knew she would be cheating on me, deep down I could feel it. But she would deny it. So many years of my life lost. I wish I knew earlier. I would of just ended it in the beginning. I tried but then she pretended to want to commit suicide. But now I know that was part of the plan to get me to stay. All the stories I hear about these creatures, they all have the same game plan.
It's amazing how there family or friends don't say anything 2 them about there behavior they actually support them wich reinsures them that's there's nothing wrong with them.
Funny right? Hey see the rages the shit they’re child is doing but don’t say a word. That’s bc they don’t give a fuck it’s easier to cuddle them then to be parents. That’s what my exes parents did and that shows why she’s the way she is bc her parents were Shit and that’s how they raised her
BPD/NPD gfexperience I've had her mom call me multiple times raging on me 2 leave her daughter alone after I tell her daughter what she is doing and how it's beyond fucked up. I then realized her mom is the exact same way just the day before I was doing work 4 her mom in her house the very next day my gf starting talking 2 her ex I went off on her and then her mom who I always get along with until her daughter fucks up calls me and completely goes off on me. It's sickening her mom was a complete shit of a parent and now tries 2 protect her because of all the guilt she feels as a parent. But just like u I genuinely loved my gf more then her own mother I was the one trying 2 figure her out I was the one trying 2 help her and I'm the bad guy.
That whole "voices in her head that tell her to do bad things" happened to my BPD sister, too, when she was 8. They diagnosed her as schizophrenic but then it "went away." So did the diagnosis. Supposedly the therapist taught her how to turn it off, but I'm guessing she just learned to keep it to herself. She thinks it's OCD. I have no idea what it was.
yup, im not sure you can be healed from that but again i dont know enough about it , all i know is my ex was really disturbed and threatened by my dog. loved other dogs, but mine was an issue. NO, SHE WAS THE ISSUE.
i think it points to a healthier character and self image the less amount of time it takes to have the realizations and gtfo of one of these toxic relationships - HT
Definitely codependency.... I'm trying to let go of all my dependency when it comes to relationships. I saw all the red flags and still went in and fell for it.
Low self esteem. Literally not realising you can do better. People pleasing / fixing mentality. Ive had to work on this after a couple of toxic relationships.
You had no support on her side because she talked shit on you behind your back to all her people. So they only thought bad of you. I’m very confident that my ex actually killed my dog. So atleast you got out faster then me. :-/ had my pup for 15 yrs. dude let’s have a chat I think we could help eachother!
Just my guess.. you said she lived on a farm with horses ect.. dont know how many other animals, but maybe her pathetic self felt like her father paid more attention to the farm and his animals than her when she was younger.. So now you got to deal with her daddy issues.. btw.. Im in it now... 16 yrs.. yeah.. i cant take it.
my ex said she had inner voices that driving her crazy. im not sure of what she meant she uust said to me to not hold things inside so i won't become like her. and she also hate dogs😃
i think some of them cant control themselves.. maybe they really dont mean to do what they do, especially the BPD's. Remember they have psychotic episodes. there are those who are aware but dont care, like psychopaths and some narcissists. your ex sounds more BPD than NPD..she couldn't control herself, and she wasn't calculated like many narcs and psychopaths
Berihun Adugna absolutely it’s a disease and a disorder some don’t mean it and can’t control it but if not willing it own it and get help is where I draw the line for sympathy
You are so lucky she is out of your life She would have killed your dog My narcissist put rat poison for my pug 😞😞😞 We saved him thank god I'm an idiot I had so many red flags but was so blind by my love unconditional love But as a mom now I say no more No more
She didn't like the dog cause your dog isn't codependent and wouldn't play into it. My faith tells me that your dog likely observed said behaviors of hers and is now 100% MGTOW
m0L3ify good point here. My son and i were poisoned near the end when i figured him out and he knew it. I was so gaslighted at that point i didnt even get us to a hospital. we all have to be extremely careful. this stuff can be life or death. Excellent point!
Mine started canceling plans at the lady minute all the time. That's the reason I ultimately walked away. I'm only 1i days of no contact and it's not easy at all.
Deluged Life believe me its gets easier research about narcissism look up the things that they do must of them follow some kinda narc textbook .look at kris godinez and angie atkinson they are on TH-cam
@@jameslacroix1028 man mine was fucked on our anniversary she threw a massive crazy tantrum everything was cool we were in amazing place, she was nice and loving and "doing" things for me ... then BAM flipped oh lord what trauma we go through ... fuck
hi bro. man i loved your video. i cried and cried and cried. im goin thru the same thing. been with her for 5 years and i love her so much. i even helped raise her kids which makes it harder because i love them too. she would leave me every 3 weeks and stay gone for a week to a month at a time. all for stupid reasons. her jealousy was insane. i couldn't watch tv if their was a blond on the screen. we couldn't go in public without her accusing me of looking at women. and i wasn't!! she couldn't get enough attention. i love giving it but it wasn't ever enough. i begged her lets get help together. i was willing to go with her to a therapist. she said ok but everytime we get close to goin, she would leave me for something stupid. i always begged her to come back. but im not this time. its been a month now and i havent heard from her. its killing me inside because i still love her and her kids so much!! Please pray for me. thank you
Every time she leaves you she is with someone else. Snap out of it. I know you live her kids, I lived my first narcs kids and my ex to be's kids but you can't stay in this relationship. You can't reason with crazy. Go no contact and work on yourself.
hi bro. man i loved your video. i cried and cried and cried. im goin thru the same thing. been with her for 5 years and i love her so much. i even helped raise her kids which makes it harder because i love them too. she would leave me every 3 weeks and stay gone for a week to a month at a time. all for stupid reasons. her jealousy was insane. i couldn't watch tv if their was a blond on the screen. we couldn't go in public without her accusing me of looking at women. and i wasn't!! she couldn't get enough attention. i love giving it but it wasn't ever enough. i begged her lets get help together. i was willing to go with her to a therapist. she said ok but everytime we get close to goin, she would leave me for something stupid. i always begged her to come back. but im not this time. its been a month now and i havent heard from her. its killing me inside because i still love her and her kids so much!! Please pray for me. thank you
hi bro. man i loved your video. i cried and cried and cried. im goin thru the same thing. been with her for 5 years and i love her so much. i even helped raise her kids which makes it harder because i love them too. she would leave me every 3 weeks and stay gone for a week to a month at a time. all for stupid reasons. her jealousy was insane. i couldn't watch tv if their was a blond on the screen. we couldn't go in public without her accusing me of looking at women. and i wasn't!! she couldn't get enough attention. i love giving it but it wasn't ever enough. i begged her lets get help together. i was willing to go with her to a therapist. she said ok but everytime we get close to goin, she would leave me for something stupid. i always begged her to come back. but im not this time. its been a month now and i havent heard from her. its killing me inside because i still love her and her kids so much!! Please pray for me. thank you
I seriously feel like I’m listening to my own story.
that is a very common thing with those involved with these types. same script, different setting.
Same here!
Me too!!😭
This is precisely word for word what I'm going through.
@becca Same.
You a good man bro! You deserve someone that’s gonna treat you with respect, love and honesty.
I’ve been through the same manipulation and torment. It really effects your self esteem and it hurts our friends and family members because they hate us seeing us miserable.
I admire you for your courage and outpouring of words. These girls have underdeveloped cognition. It’s like dealing with a 2 year old child throwing a temper tantrum
Thank you my friend. And you’re absolutely right it’s like deal with a child and it takes a toll on you until you’re finally done from it and can see what they did. But it lingers for sure!
They’re literally vampires 🧛♀️ and you’re their supply.
its like seeing a toddler having a temper tantrum and trying to explain commen decency to an adult
I agree! They act like toddlers and throw temper tantrums.
You were trying to reason and having a normal conversation with her during the devaluation/discard phase. That’s impossible with a borderline.
Yup had a kid with one. She just popped back into my world yesterday after a year of no contact. Everything is still all my fault.
@@shanemeyer7989 why u let her bk
@@bossofallbosses1989 oh I didn't. She just started calling about our kid after ghosting. Don't worry she stopped shortly after and I haven't heard from her again. My kid doesn't miss her or even really remember her
What is amazing is how BPD family members conform into their child's/siblings's situation. They always pick their side. I actually tried to make friends with my ex's relatives but when things went South it was no contact from them after that. It is like I never existed to them. I think they conform into the life of BPD and handle all boyfrineds of the BPD like it was just another job they quit or like a piece of clothing or a pet. To my face they were friends but when push came to shove , it was like I did not exist as if they were afraid that MY BEING in their life would somehow be bad for them . And I a cool dude, people like me and I have lots of friends.
The parents are who caused this. Usually the primary caregiver, the mother in most cases.
I was so relieved when he started petting the dog. It's still alive.
I had been in a similar situation where my ex-partner was creating these 'fake-problems' just to mess with me and keep me in control. Even though I solved a lot of problems there was always a new one because of me. Finally got rid of her, best thing I ever did !
Omg! I feel so sorry about you ans your dog. When you mentioned what she said about your dog, it broke me down into tears.
I hope you are living a great life, you and your dog.
"Toxic" Therapists must love that word. I heard it twice in this last (and final) splitting. They told me "My certified therapist says I'm fine and that you need help." "They say I need to get out of this toxic relationship." I can only imagine the narrative of lies this poor unwitting therapist is being fed. Without meeting anyone else in the BPDs life what chance is there of a correct diagnosis...? I'm guessing none.
Earthandweather oh ya! Lies upon lies she was told her my therapist to get out of the toxic relationship as if I was toxic! There's no winning and no hope for these people. Get out save yourself don't question or try to figure it out! Do your best to ignore wanting questions answers. To be truly helped they must acknowledge everything and want to be helped and know what they do. But they don't care about anything but being right and what they can gain from you!
You got so messed up by this woman. I know. I've been there. I feel it. Not your fault bro.
i took a lot of what she said and was still patient, still around, still trying to help. still waiting for that heartfelt apology that would make me feel at ease and release the elephant sitting on my chest. Need happened. I was even willing to put her harsh words she said about me and death talk of animals and my dog aside bc i was patient and knew it wasn't about the dog but she never allowed that happen. She never wanted responsibility to fix this, she even told me its too much pressure that it is all on her to fix, EVEN when i said id be there with her.
I still haven't gotten an apology from my BPD ex and I never will but somehow the guy is married and has been for 6 years. He couldn't see what he did wrong to me. He even said to me once that his own mom thought that I was pretty stupid. It's like, gee thanks fucking asshole. I get that he's projecting on me but still. He would just say this stupid shit out of the blue I honestly did not get it. It's like damn am I really that stupid? Nope. The jerk was projecting all of his insecurities on me. With BPD you have to validate them constantly it's a huge struggle. This girl you were with is very high functioning. I hope that you are able to find a women that is more on your level.
How did you keep from ripping her head off?!!!
They know what they're doing. That's the even morr scarry part.
Ya they’re natorius for making things a living hell for you once they do not get there way. Gray rock her until you are able to be away from her. Google the term. It gives you a piece of mind and allows you to keep your sanity
BPD/NPD gfexperience You are probably an empath and empaths attract malignant narcissists/BPD.
I'm currently in a relationship with a bpd male, he's exactly the same as your describing, we have children.. and I'm trapped, he takes care of us financially, so I literally have no way out, plus he threatens to kill himself, and that terrifies me, for the children's sake!
BPD really is a cruel and extremely damaging condition.
you always have a way out, youre only trapped if you allow yourself to be. Not saying itll be easy but your health is important, bc these people will break you down mentally! plan, do planning, create a way out!!. my experience changed me for good, im not sure if that is good or bad yet, im very jaded towards people, and would rather not be in their company, it got worse after my experience. do your work and plan, get out!
BPD/Narcs will NEVER actually kill themselves no matter how much they threaten it. In fact, they are insanely afraid of death. That's the reason that they use threat of death, because its the scariest thing they can threaten you with. No one is trapped in a relationship. If you are in an abusive situation, please get help from the local authorities, get an attorney and terminate the relationship. Go complete no-contact. Get your life back and protect it by any means necessary.
@Stan Yarbrough not true. Bpd has 1 of the highest suicide rates
This video should be mandatory for every guy in highschool and college. It is almost word for word my life for 2018. I didn't have a dog but my ex called my son "that son of that whore " and told me I was lazy cos I didn't get up and go buy makeup with her in the morning after 3 hours of sleep. She apologized all the time about everything and tried to make it better with sex
Those are red banners!
WRONG WAY
DO NOT ENTER
DEAD END
ROAD ENDS HERE
CAUTION
HAZZARD
And I totally know what you mean by they don't make you feel better. No matter what you say they don't just say a few words to make you feel better.
no, exactly, its like they play from the same book!! everyone of one of these. all that is needed is some nice words, some comfort ya know ? I'm a strong person but beaten down so much, that person needs to take iniiative to make better the war they started! but they never do no matter how much you plead or chase.
BPD/NPD gfexperience. Would love to have your dog jump out of a cake for her Borthday!
hahah YES
Ryan C Barking mad! lol
She needs constant validation and attention, mixed with tragic fear of abandonement and toxic levels of envy. Over a god damn dog. This isn't crazy, this is a product of a highly unemphatic brain. She has little neurons in her frontal lobe.
yup! and little care to see what she does to people even when they say it directly to her face, and bc she wants what she wants she isn't gonna hear it! Thank God im out of it, im almost healed from this tragic experience that i wish upon no one, she's out a black void in my heart about relationships and i hope someone comes along and shows me otherwise, until then, i relish being alone, and not in the same position i was with this lunatic!
It’s called NO EMPATHY WHATSOEVER that’s the only thing u have to recognize and just go no contact then and there.
The thing I’m seeing is
We can blame them which they do deserve a lot of it
But what about us
Like maybe this was a sign for us to go thru this
Maybe that’s why we attract them because we lack shit too
So true. I needed my BPD ex to learn I was a codependent.
Yeah man we are a big part of it. We put up with their bullshit and enable their bad behavior.
@@Mark_Bayer so crazy I’m seeing these notifications today
Last night I found out she’s pregnant
And had sex with her ex meth head in a hotel
Weeks before
Not sure if it’s true that last part
Just hurts I’ve been hung up on this girl
Since
25 I’m 32…
And I try to move on and all I meet is girls with drug felony charges and addictions
I get I ain’t perfect
But I don’t need that shit again
God bless us all dealing with this shit
hi bro. man i loved your video. i cried and cried and cried. im goin thru the same thing. been with her for 5 years and i love her so much. i even helped raise her kids which makes it harder because i love them too. she would leave me every 3 weeks and stay gone for a week to a month at a time. all for stupid reasons. her jealousy was insane. i couldn't watch tv if their was a blond on the screen. we couldn't go in public without her accusing me of looking at women. and i wasn't!! she couldn't get enough attention. i love giving it but it wasn't ever enough. i begged her lets get help together. i was willing to go with her to a therapist. she said ok but everytime we get close to goin, she would leave me for something stupid. i always begged her to come back. but im not this time. its been a month now and i havent heard from her. its killing me inside because i still love her and her kids so much!! Please pray for me. thank you
I'm sorry for your pain. I don't really understand bpd entirely myself. It feels like you're your normal self, and then you suddenly get OVERWHELMED with insanely strong emotions, and because of that you become someone else. But I also often feel "disconnected" from myself as well, almost like the real me is numbed out, and my levels of empathy can be delayed. While in a rage, there is almost no empathy whatsoever. It feels like you are in the fight/flight mode and your body just knows it has to destroy the threat and that is all that matters, every other function shuts down.
When I am not in a rage my moods are constantly fluctuating, and with those fluctuating moods comes fluctuating indentities. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and flooded with extreme guilt, pain, empathy. Other times I take pride in hurting others because they can't hurt me and I was raised by people with npd and aspd that took great pride in cruelty and sadism - my brain gets confused and thinks maybe that's the way I'm supposed to be, the way I should be. I think I'm faulty because I was taught that being good is bad, and bad is good. Like my empathy is some shameful, bad weakness. And when I did have empathy, it was always taken advantage of. I always felt like a fool for feeling empathy for them and letting them in again because I was duped everytime. One of my ways to cope with watching them take great pride in causing me agony was to do the same, but there was never any winning with them that way either because if you copied them you were the bad person and they were still innocent and perfect. If you didn't copy them, you were squashed down and suffocated and I would've just died if I stuck to always being nice or always being cruel, I couldn't ever be one thing. I had to be unpredictable to survive. The void inside them was so callous and constant, there was never any apologies or acknowledgement of what they really were or were doing, and there was never any escape and never any empathy, you are constantly at fault and you are pulled and ripped in every single direction because there is nothing that works to escape them or to please them, so you become completely disorganised and shatter into a million pieces to cope because that way they never know what to expect from you and can't really put a constant form of treatment or label on you as easily.
I have many questions about bpd, some people say that the love and empathy we feel is not real even though we really do experience the emotions. Like, it's a "love delusion" we experience. And I've thought about that over and over and I don't think that is actually the case, at least not for me. I wonder what differences there are between different people with bpd as well as all other personality disorders. And I've also heard people say that we can often have a victim complex, which I think that can be true for some of us. For me I think part of it is I'm so confused and on guard and stuck in my pain that I become an abuser myself, but then I don't really know if that's the entire truth. It can be really hard to decipher when it actually is my fault and when it isn't because I've been gaslit my whole life from day one and told I was at fault when I wasn't. So now I'm completely confused and not sure when I am and when I'm not, and I constantly worry about people with npd, aspd, psychopathy and such finding me and using my disorder as a way to hide as the victim when actually, they are the master puppeteer. But then I'm like "well maybe that is my victim complex", but then at the same time if I say it's a victim complex then I'm invalidating and not acknowledging the truth that I really was abused, and it really wasn't my fault, so I'm really confused. I gaslight myself by telling myself it's my fault, but I gaslight others by telling them it's theirs. Everything is extremely confusing and a constant cycle of warped. Sometimes I do not know what anything is. Everything is upside down, inside out, and I just don't know. But at the same time I do. I just feel like I'm everything and nothing all at once but also no, that's not true.
I know it has been proven that people with bpd can find recovery which is good, but it's a long journey, not some overnight fix. Years.
Regardless I'm really sorry for what you went through, I don't entirely understand her every action because she clearly has her own unique reasoning and psychology but you definitely didn't deserve what you got.
I can relate. This is very serious. Thank god your dog is ok and yourself! i was so gaslighted i didnt seek any medical attention and i know my son and i were poisoned near the end when i figured him out 6 years later. i feel for you. this stuff is life or death.
Mine was a BPD with comorbid Covert NPD and five dissociations.
Rage, split, triangulate, lie, gaslight, blame shift and make crazy.
I understand your pain completely. My situation is with my husband of 13 yrs and no one in his life has ever told him that he might be the problem. He has called me every vile thing under the sun. I’m like you where I could never say anything mean to him. No he has left me and has filed for divorce 😭
Sounds exactly like my ex. NPD / BPD for sure. As a caretaker personality, you're in great danger. He said exactly the same "Fuck off!", "Fuck you!", "You don't respect me!" -- I would never say this to him. It's when they put the blame on you and project. The worst is, when you know exactly what is wrong with them, but they take no accountability. You are forced to end the relationship while you wished it worked out.
What a nasty human being! How can anyone hate an innocent dog? That is psychotic behavior! My sister has BPD, but, she has a conscience and I can’t imagine her lashing out at a dog. I think she had some extra issues going on there. Damn!
Haha I hear your dog licking his paws in the background! I’m sorry that happend to you with the narc ex thank goodness u and ur dog don’t need to deal with her anymore
That's crazy she totally focused on your dog so much she would call your dog the winner!
oh ya man! NUTS! she saw the dog through FaceTime once, he walked by me and she was pissed, telling me she should be mad at me for letting him come into view., bc the sight of the dog put her in a bad mood! She even made a video not sure if i mentioned this in my videos, but she got out of therapy and therapist said she needs to compromise and she literally made a selfie 2 -3 min video rant about how she doesn't want to, how the DOG and I Win, she has to compromise, how she doesn't want to...etc.. and her tone was mean, nasty, and with vengeance like and she sent that over to me. She literally sat in her car to record herself and send it to her BF .
lol! wtf?
My ex-wife actually did SAY the words "Well I guess Spot* won" about my cat after we were divorced. *Cat name changed to preserve anonymity (mine, not the cat)...btw she almost "accidentally" ran over the cat once (yeah, that cat got kicked out of the house) and I only knew about it because someone was with her who told me...
😂😂😂😂 this just made me lol so hard!
😂that’s crazy af
You are a handsome, kind person. I'm sorry that you endured this.
asalane20 thank you very much for your kind comments!
asalane20 As long as you learn from these experiences and don’t stay or repeat the mistake than it’s all for a great reason these things occur. One should also investigate their own family of origin issues to see why you attract this type.
I've been in therapy and what they are saying is that she is histrionic narc and borderline. Cluster B they overlap. Self entitled princess drama queen. Did your ex cheat? Have no proof but pretty sure mine did.
My, too: border+histr! Evil on earth! Worst experience in my life.
maybe she was just a cat person?
Stephen Lol
jajajajajaja
offended 😂
My bpd ex would speak in code where she would just repeat phrases like “no go” or “good to go” and if I asked what she meant by it should would just repeat her catch phrase. She would build me up during the day and then a switch was flipped and she would tell she hates me, called me a bitch and a monster and a piece of shit. Completely unprovoked. Then the next morning would roll around and she would be wishing me a good day and telling me she loves me like she has no memory of the horrible things she said the night before. There’s no cure for bpd and there’s no living with it. It’ll kill you.
When you talk about her reaction to the dog in the camera view, and how she felt neglected or upset by the dog. Its as though the dog is in a love triangle with you both and she feels threatened by this. My experience was where my partner with bpd created a scenario that didnt happen and then she explained it to me and blamed me for this imaginary scene in her head, and you are literally stood there saying WTF. How these types of people can create such nonsense is incredible. I was accused of so much stuff that never happened that bordered on the ridiculous. Even Hollywoods best script writers could not create the stuff I experienced.
It was exactly the same. It feels like a parallel universe
Total lack of empathy but always so offended when you try to set limits. "How can you hurt me like that?!" would say my cluster B ex after I'd give him silent treatment in response to his silent treatment. (Yes, I stooped to his level once or twice when I ran out of any sane ways of getting through to him. It was a total waste of my mental energy because it was not only completely ineffectual (see example above) but most importantly made me feel worse about myself.)
My ex narc I bought her a dog. A beautiful toy poodle. So she runs her front leg over with her car. Take her to the vet and she loses the ability to move her front leg pretty much her nerves are shot. She blames the dog something about her pulling on her paw when it was under her wheel. At first I didnt know what a narcissist was. This happened like 9 years ago. I just found out about narcissism about 2 years ago. It makes me question if she did this on purpose to hurt me. Because it did. I've been no contact for 4 months now because I couldn't take her abuse on me anymore. I have the dog now because I didnt trust her anymore. I didnt realize all the stuff she did to me was intentional. The gas lighting and all. I knew she would be cheating on me, deep down I could feel it. But she would deny it. So many years of my life lost. I wish I knew earlier. I would of just ended it in the beginning. I tried but then she pretended to want to commit suicide. But now I know that was part of the plan to get me to stay. All the stories I hear about these creatures, they all have the same game plan.
It's amazing how there family or friends don't say anything 2 them about there behavior they actually support them wich reinsures them that's there's nothing wrong with them.
Funny right? Hey see the rages the shit they’re child is doing but don’t say a word. That’s bc they don’t give a fuck it’s easier to cuddle them then to be parents. That’s what my exes parents did and that shows why she’s the way she is bc her parents were Shit and that’s how they raised her
BPD/NPD gfexperience I've had her mom call me multiple times raging on me 2 leave her daughter alone after I tell her daughter what she is doing and how it's beyond fucked up. I then realized her mom is the exact same way just the day before I was doing work 4 her mom in her house the very next day my gf starting talking 2 her ex I went off on her and then her mom who I always get along with until her daughter fucks up calls me and completely goes off on me. It's sickening her mom was a complete shit of a parent and now tries 2 protect her because of all the guilt she feels as a parent. But just like u I genuinely loved my gf more then her own mother I was the one trying 2 figure her out I was the one trying 2 help her and I'm the bad guy.
That whole "voices in her head that tell her to do bad things" happened to my BPD sister, too, when she was 8. They diagnosed her as schizophrenic but then it "went away." So did the diagnosis. Supposedly the therapist taught her how to turn it off, but I'm guessing she just learned to keep it to herself. She thinks it's OCD. I have no idea what it was.
yup, im not sure you can be healed from that but again i dont know enough about it , all i know is my ex was really disturbed and threatened by my dog. loved other dogs, but mine was an issue. NO, SHE WAS THE ISSUE.
i think it points to a healthier character and self image the less amount of time it takes to have the realizations and gtfo of one of these toxic relationships - HT
Yeaaaa this sounds so familar.. Why do you think we stay so long with people like this?
CODEPENDCY
Definitely codependency.... I'm trying to let go of all my dependency when it comes to relationships. I saw all the red flags and still went in and fell for it.
Low self esteem. Literally not realising you can do better. People pleasing / fixing mentality. Ive had to work on this after a couple of toxic relationships.
No sympathy for the Devil 😐
thank you man. i will.
You had no support on her side because she talked shit on you behind your back to all her people. So they only thought bad of you. I’m very confident that my ex actually killed my dog. So atleast you got out faster then me. :-/ had my pup for 15 yrs. dude let’s have a chat I think we could help eachother!
badass1g shoot me an email if you’d like Guidice00@yahoo.com
These ppl are destroyers!
Are you me? Sounds like my ex relationship lol
I went through the same thing with my narcissistic border line personality boyfriend
Terryankev Miller you’re not alone!
Just my guess.. you said she lived on a farm with horses ect.. dont know how many other animals, but maybe her pathetic self felt like her father paid more attention to the farm and his animals than her when she was younger.. So now you got to deal with her daddy issues.. btw.. Im in it now... 16 yrs.. yeah.. i cant take it.
Dude, my girlfriend said she would drown her baby if i got her pregnant or something. Like that shit was funny.
my ex said she had inner voices that driving her crazy. im not sure of what she meant she uust said to me to not hold things inside so i won't become like her. and she also hate dogs😃
Berihun Adugna that means she’s got some issues. Beware! They hate things that take attention away from them
I have a question, didn't she get insecure over other girls or accused you of cheating or something like that
Hareem Iftikhar not accused of cheating but insecure definitely. She was insecure about Harley Quinn for god sake lol
i think some of them cant control themselves.. maybe they really dont mean to do what they do, especially the BPD's. Remember they have psychotic episodes. there are those who are aware but dont care, like psychopaths and some narcissists. your ex sounds more BPD than NPD..she couldn't control herself, and she wasn't calculated like many narcs and psychopaths
Berihun Adugna absolutely it’s a disease and a disorder some don’t mean it and can’t control it but if not willing it own it and get help is where I draw the line for sympathy
You are so lucky she is out of your life
She would have killed your dog
My narcissist put rat poison for my pug 😞😞😞
We saved him thank god
I'm an idiot I had so many red flags but was so blind by my love unconditional love
But as a mom now I say no more
No more
She didn't like the dog cause your dog isn't codependent and wouldn't play into it.
My faith tells me that your dog likely observed said behaviors of hers and is now 100% MGTOW
I think you're really lucky she didn't poison your dogs... o.O
m0L3ify good point here. My son and i were poisoned near the end when i figured him out and he knew it. I was so gaslighted at that point i didnt even get us to a hospital. we all have to be extremely careful. this stuff can be life or death. Excellent point!
did she ever ruin special occasions and holidays
Mine started canceling plans at the lady minute all the time. That's the reason I ultimately walked away. I'm only 1i days of no contact and it's not easy at all.
Deluged Life believe me its gets easier research about narcissism look up the things that they do must of them follow some kinda narc textbook .look at kris godinez and angie atkinson they are on TH-cam
@@jameslacroix1028 man mine was fucked on our anniversary she threw a massive crazy tantrum everything was cool we were in amazing place, she was nice and loving and "doing" things for me ... then BAM flipped oh lord what trauma we go through ... fuck
And you sound like a lovely guy
thank you for that, it means a lot.
I think my ex sounds alot like yours. And I think with her family and even my exes is that they avoid trying to trigger her.
Shane Bollenbacher wouldn’t be surprised! Parents today don’t know how to parent and take care of their kids. They have them and say fuck it.
Noticed the same with my exes fam and friends rather they avoided her
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hi bro. man i loved your video. i cried and cried and cried. im goin thru the same thing. been with her for 5 years and i love her so much. i even helped raise her kids which makes it harder because i love them too. she would leave me every 3 weeks and stay gone for a week to a month at a time. all for stupid reasons. her jealousy was insane. i couldn't watch tv if their was a blond on the screen. we couldn't go in public without her accusing me of looking at women. and i wasn't!! she couldn't get enough attention. i love giving it but it wasn't ever enough. i begged her lets get help together. i was willing to go with her to a therapist. she said ok but everytime we get close to goin, she would leave me for something stupid. i always begged her to come back. but im not this time. its been a month now and i havent heard from her. its killing me inside because i still love her and her kids so much!! Please pray for me. thank you
Every time she leaves you she is with someone else. Snap out of it. I know you live her kids, I lived my first narcs kids and my ex to be's kids but you can't stay in this relationship. You can't reason with crazy. Go no contact and work on yourself.
watch the 1934 Betty Davis Movie . . . of Human bondage
Yes. That’s exactly what it was like. Exactly. Hope you are in a better place. That was just plain hell.
hi bro. man i loved your video. i cried and cried and cried. im goin thru the same thing. been with her for 5 years and i love her so much. i even helped raise her kids which makes it harder because i love them too. she would leave me every 3 weeks and stay gone for a week to a month at a time. all for stupid reasons. her jealousy was insane. i couldn't watch tv if their was a blond on the screen. we couldn't go in public without her accusing me of looking at women. and i wasn't!! she couldn't get enough attention. i love giving it but it wasn't ever enough. i begged her lets get help together. i was willing to go with her to a therapist. she said ok but everytime we get close to goin, she would leave me for something stupid. i always begged her to come back. but im not this time. its been a month now and i havent heard from her. its killing me inside because i still love her and her kids so much!! Please pray for me. thank you
Curtis Little stay strong man! You’re not alone
hi bro. man i loved your video. i cried and cried and cried. im goin thru the same thing. been with her for 5 years and i love her so much. i even helped raise her kids which makes it harder because i love them too. she would leave me every 3 weeks and stay gone for a week to a month at a time. all for stupid reasons. her jealousy was insane. i couldn't watch tv if their was a blond on the screen. we couldn't go in public without her accusing me of looking at women. and i wasn't!! she couldn't get enough attention. i love giving it but it wasn't ever enough. i begged her lets get help together. i was willing to go with her to a therapist. she said ok but everytime we get close to goin, she would leave me for something stupid. i always begged her to come back. but im not this time. its been a month now and i havent heard from her. its killing me inside because i still love her and her kids so much!! Please pray for me. thank you