Pt. 1. The Impossible Connection: Loving Someone w/ Borderline Personality Disorder. See Warning
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- WARNING: this video was not meant to be a resource for those who have Borderline Personality Disorder(BPD), which is a very unfortunate psychological disorder. The video was created as a resource to victims of abuse, past and present, from people diagnosed with BPD. I do not believe that people with BPD are all the same, and are equally abusive. I do know that they hurt the people that they love. Some of them hurt these people very badly.
This video is NOT a resource for people suffering with BPD. In fact, it will surely aggravate their condition. Although I believe I know a great deal about the disorder, I am neither a specialist nor an expert in the treatment of it. My skill set is with people who I refer to as “Self-Love Deficients” (codependents) who have Self-Love Deficit Disorder (codependency).
Those who criticize my video(s) on BPD are misinformed about who I am. I neither represent people with BPD, nor do I ever try to. Rather, I am a psychotherapist who provides mental health services to people who are SLDs (codependents) and trauma survivors. My work is about empowerment, healing and escaping abusive relationships. This is evident in my Human Magnet Syndrome book and my other video and training materials.
My intention is not to malign people with BPD, but to empower and lead my clients away from their compulsion to stay in relationships with individuals who are harmful and abusive to them. My work represents people who want to heal psychological wounds and who take personal responsibility for their actions. I AM AGAINST abusive individuals who narcissistically justify their harmful behavior or blame it on the victims. If that fits with people diagnosed with BPD, or for that matter, NPD or ASPD, then I offer no apologies.
ABOUT ROSS
Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., CADC, is Self-Love Recovery Institute’s CEO and primary contributor. His internationally recognized expertise includes pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and attachment trauma. Ross’s “Codependency Cure™ Treatment Program provides innovative and results-oriented treatment. His expert educational and inspirational seminars have earned him international acclaim, including his 22 million TH-cam video views and 230K subscribers. In addition to being featured on national TV and radio, his “Human Magnet Syndrome” books sold over 140K copies and are in 10 languages. Ross provides expert testimony/witness services.
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As a person who ended up with BPD as a result of an extremely abusive narcissist mother, I urge you to remember our hurtful actions stem from our own pain. I'm in therapy now and I can't believe how quickly I'm transforming. We are people too, we have feelings, we love deeply, and we can change. Thanks.
+playandrepeat my mom was a real piece of work
playandrepeat
Thank you very much for that. You are very brave.
oh this is the comment i've been looking for and i've been looking very hard. thank you so much for this hope that you *can change!
Yes indeed
Both my parents were abusive and alcoholic, thus I became borderline. Yes, we do have feelings...maybe too many...and we are very emotionally sensitive, too judgemental and over-reactive. I used to think I would die alone, but since I began taking medication, I too am becoming more self-aware and changing.
Also, I'm what's called a "quiet" borderline. I don't yell or scream at people. I'm very very nonconfrontational. I feel shame about my emotions and don't display them because I don't want to be vulnerable. I self loathe as a result and take it out on myself.
Brian, thank you for sharing this here. I appreciate your candor
Same. I hold it all in and trash myself
This is how my ex was
@@jenniferm5831same…
Not all borderlines are malignant narcissists with zero self awareness and no desire to get well. (But I guess his ex was.)
+mallory hahahahaha, fucking great.
+mallory thank you. I suffer from BPD and honestly I am tired of being portrayed as a monster who will only hurt others. The fact that I might have hurt others as a result of my personality disorder honestly really and truly scares me. I honestly am very hurt by things such as this video portraying me as a heartless creature. I WANT to get better. I WANT to love others, not hurt them. I am NOT just a horrible monster destroying everything in my wake and I wished people realized that.
+maddiemoiselle That's what my Ex used to everytime I tell the things she does are terrible, as if she is serious about changing, then she preoceed to do them again 30 minutes later. I have no hate against these people, but loving someonw with this disorder is like trying to feed a cancerous tumor, it'll just keep suckig the lofe out of you until you're sanity just comes to a halt, and you're emotionally AND mentality forced to leave them, even after going through hundreds of heartbreaks and torture, all from oure love for them, but all you get is shit everyday until you're just drained like an empty balloon. It's debilitating. I regret staying for so long with someone who has BPD. I look back it now and realize I have done the biggest mistake of my life, filled with manipulation and paranoid accusations, it was hell on earth EVERYDAY. So the next time you try to defend against BPD's, I'm not saying to hate on them instead, im saying take intob
consideration of the victims pain and struggle with a BPD partner, and trust me, it's ALOT worse than what I'm making it to seem here.
+Sammy Ramos I'm saying this knowing I've hurt people and feeling true remorse for it, which you would know if you actually read my comment. Recently I was in my car sobbing and screaming incoherent sentences because I hurt someone because I have this disorder and I felt so guilty about that fact. To me that doesn't sound like some heartless monster who doesn't care when they hurt people. Also, it's a PERSONALITY disorder. THAT'S why it's so resistant to change. It's hard to treat and change someone's PERSONALITY. And this is not just me making excuses for my disorder, it's a statement said by MANY psychologists and therapists.
oh yes they are! lonely, desperate and ugly too.
I love these people. I see them for the children they were and not the troubled adult they became. It is a human tragedy BPD.
ok so i'm diagnosed with BPD and this really struck a chord in me and i legitimately teared up...
@@Sofililly damn..but i call bullshit we aint really troubled with all the sense..i believe we are some pretty strong people
@@Hustlah- You are strong people absolutely. But you're emotionally destructive to some of the people that care the most about you and want the best for you. If you can't recognise that you could maybe even try talking about it or getting treatment then you are just doing yourself a disservice. If you're happy with how you behave then that's fine, but don't expect people to tolerate or be patient with bad behaviour.
You made me cry again this morning
Sometimes it’s caused by parental alienation syndrome psychosis. Rigid hierarchies and a family control freak. It could be a grandparent or other influence who traumatizes them. A triangulator with a sadism addiction.
I have this disorder. And I have been in therapy for 6 years and single. And I have been working on myself so I can have a proper relationship. But your videos make it sound like its hopeless. Like i'll never get better. This doesn't sound like there is hope for people like me.
+Ancie Pamintuan Don't give up! There is definitely hope for you! I have seen remarkable successes with BPD treatment. Just commit yourself to the healing process and keep believing in yourself. Your time will come.
Warmly,
Ross
+Ross Rosenberg Thank you. But when your therapist tells you only 1% really break the cycle and videos like this are a bit discouraging. Have you given thought to making a video for people like me who work hard daily to strive for a healthy lifestyle. I have to admit, your videos did make me cry because you are very accurate and it strikes a chord. Perhaps, if you did a video for people like me with this disorder who are undergoing therapy. Who are self-aware of their defects. Who still want to be loved but participate in a healthy romantic relationship one day --- it might give some people hope. Like me. I've worked hard. And am still working hard. It would be nice if you did such a video. I'm sure it will be helpful. Don't worry about me. I will never give up. But it is only human to feel discouraged sometimes. Its not an easy fight, this disorder. But it is about progress, right? Best, Ancie
+Ancie Pamintuan love how the Tin Man therapist doesn't answer.
Thanks. Its a daily effort. And it is getting harder to mask the loneliness going on 7 years now. I suppose, it will be all worth in the end. Being alive is amazing and the constant evolution of oneself is a wonderful journey. Thanks for the encouragement and understanding, kababayan.
+JugoSlav1919 Wow sexists jokes, much originality
Good therapy isn't always available for borderlines.
Not only that but the fact that due to their BPD they won't stay in therapy for too long.
@Mc Psychedelic Sadly DBT can work with those BPD in the low spectrum and with a few comorbidities...Plus they need to desire change and have the resources for long term treatment..
@Mc Psychedelic Even with the proper channels anything can trigger a BPD back into their emotional rollercoaster..DPT is not "the answer". BPD is very complex.
@aquarius dreams Unless the therapist pushed him to suicide it is hard to judge him/her. We don't have both versions of the story to know why the counseling didn't work for both of them. It is a shame that your ex tried to kill himself however the mental illness is to blame.
Exactly. i have bpd but everyday is like a choice between should i die or should i cry. i just don't have therapy options as i can't afford it... And the past therapy... was unfortunate...
Just a tip: If you're going to watch this, please also watch "embracing borderline personality disorder" by Dr Keith Gaynor.
And, if you're like me and have BPD, please don't watch this. It will make you feel awful, honestly.
We're human, don't forget that. Please don't assume we're all like this man describes.
Cheri Pullin Yes, the video by Dr. Gaynor is excellent! He, unlike me, teaches about BPD, the disorder & treatment. Mine focuses on the partner of the BPD. Each help both partners in the relationship
Cheri Pullin He's a relationship specialist and not a PhD. I'd advise that if you have BPD, that you do not watch these videos. Like most non-PhDs on the subject (e.g. that lady from gettinbetter.com), the view is wholly negative and describes BPD people as having the same extremes of emotion that you would find in movies.
The sad part about it is that videos and sites such as these is that they may be counterproductive; a person may come here and go "that's my girlfriend completely!," ignoring the fact that they may be ill themselves. In fact, that person may even have BPD and project emotions such as these with this type of ammunition.
So all in all, it does a disservice by being one-sided--both to the BPD and non-BPD having problems.
***** I have it too.. I'm used to being in pain, this way nothing!
You are human. Nobody is denying that. And so are the people hurt.
Thank you....I was thinking I shouldn't watch, due to the comments...
Knew a girl with bpd for 4 years, got pretty serious for 9 months, then over the course of 2 days fell in love. She had a breakdown saying she was broken and didn't wanna hurt me, and just like that it was over. We moved fast and I've never felt so loved or been so in love. He's right, and my heart breaks for her every single day even in her silence. She was a great person, class act. I hope she finds her way someday.
You fell in love over 2 days after 9 months? I found after just 1 week the BPD person is attacking me for shallow reasons after telling me how perfect I am just a day before.
I feel your pain man that’s how it works except I only knew this person for 3 months so it didn’t hurt me as much but I still remember her because she was my first.
It's a very cruel illness and surrounded by a tonne of ignorance. Some, think we choose to be this way. Being triggered is like when a woman goes into the 2nd stage of labour and wants to push! It's uncontrollable and there's fuck-all we can do whilst it's happening to stop. There's no need to 'beat us up' verbally, we do that to ourselves constantly, we're never enuf and threats are all around. Living with this disorder is a daily living hell and all because two people had a child they didn't know how to love - its the legacy of neglect and indifference and we're still paying the price. For that prxxk that told that guy to run, I say, at least you have that option, we don't!
@@arabellacox I’m so sorry 🥺😔 I cried reading this comment because I felt like such a coward for not fighting more in trying to make things work out with her but I felt so betrayed with what she had going on long distance she shut me down randomly after our first date. Things before that were perfect though. My feelings for her were genuine though I loved her like she was my own. Even after everything she’s doing me to currently in trying to Make me look like a bad person I still care about her and want what’s best for her even if I’m not in the picture. I know she has her own demons to battle but I can’t help her anymore she’s long gone from me now to a point of no return anymore.
@@abolisher I'm really sad to hear this. She'll always have a special place in your heart, but your mental health is priority and its probably 'for the best' (I hate clichés!).
To put it into some sort of context when partners are being tested; when your own parents didn't make you feel loved and worthy, why the hell should some random person 'off the street' who's only known you for a nano-second in comparison, love you?
I'll let you into a secret, they can't and never will because when you never received love from a baby and a child, you enter adulthood not knowing what love looks and feels like. I have 3 awesome adult children & Granddaughters and I love them with all my heart - we can give love, that's not a problem because we can feel it, but receiving it is different. I know they love me, but they are words in my head, not a feeling.
My partner makes me feel love when we're on the sofa with his arm around me and every so often, he'll kiss the top of my head (I love that!) but the feeling is momentary. Love to us is like a drug, we have to have fixes often and we need constant reassurance. Tbh I would love to go back 6 months before we met, when I'd been on my own 6 years and was in control and felt 'normal'. I have tried to break-up numerous times but it's worse than being in a relationship with him having Bpd. I'm not in a bad relationship, he's a good man, it's just the 'power' he has over me being a 'half-individual' as that speaker so nicely put it!
Remember this, all the shit she put you through, she didn't mean, it wasn't personal. BPD is a recognised disorder because its real, its not a choice. We're not bad people or narcissistic, the opposite in fact, else so many people wouldn't have fallen in love with us! Pray for her and keep a little light on for her in your heart & mind. You sound like a really compassionate and understanding guy. Time is a great healer and someone right for you will come along xx
You are mistaken about my message. Why should anyone empathize and/or feel sorry for someone who abuses them. It really boils down this very important fact. If that person took responsibility and was accountable for the harm they perpetrated, they would engage in BPD specific long-term psychotherapy, which, by the way is quite helpful. But the angry people spouting off on this channel want a get out jail pass for each and every time they abuse someone. They use their disorder as a disability, but continue to hurt people. If someone with a can hit me in the head with it, I would contact the police. Their malady doesn't make them innocent. But if the same person with a cane wanted help, tried to seek it, and when receiving it participated in it, then they have all of my sympathy, empathy and patience. Using one's disorder as an excuse for their abuse, and then wanting to feel sympathy, just doesn't fly with me.
+Ross Rosenberg Amen to that Ross! For example, after my borderline ex-boyfriend cyber bullied me and gave me several death threats, I reported him to the police. Then he had the nerve to blame ME and say I was responsible for provoking him! It's astounding the profound lack of awareness and consciousness that borderlines have. Their level of dysfunction is tragic!
+RetroCanuckJunkie Sounds like a narcissist to me, not borderline.
+Ross Rosenberg "Borderline rarely seek help." That is not true. Borderline personality disorder sufferers seek help more than any other personality disorder type on the list. Precisely because they are so much in touch with their feelings, it hurts. This is your new message from 2 weeks ago. That anyone who disagreed with you "IS MISTAKEN ABOUT YOUR MESSAGE".So patronizing, so one-sided. So much self-defence. So much ... next? I mean... The title is Loving Someone w/Borderline Personality Disorder. See Warning. SEE WARNING? WTF?
+RetroCanuckJunkie such painful people indeed
It's your title, sir. The desire to get views by using a catchy title has overshadowed your message. A title should encapsulate the entire message, but your title is more hopeless and less neutral than your message. If you changed the titled you may get less criticism.
Everything is spot on. Dated someone with this disorder for 7 months and it was the most damaging thing to my health in such a short amount of time. I still have ptsd from that time and the things I dealt with.
I hope you're ok. I just got diagnosed with this shit. In reading these looking for hope
I dated someone who had borde line personality disorder for 16yrs found out in the end she was online escort I am suicidal now.
@@tonrobert3391 that's terrible to hear. I hope things work out for you though
Ton Robert please reach out to a therapist. 💜
@@tonrobert3391 😨😨😨😳
I was fooled so well I moved across the country to be with a woman that I now know has BPD. It completely ruined 5 years of my life and was totally draining and I didn't even know how bad it was until she was gone. I was so taken by this girl I gave her way to many chances, but I moved to be with her so I was stuck. I wish I had known there are so many people like this, I can't believe it took 5 years to figure it out.
Same.
5 years and same shit happened to me. Recently she got married but I am still trauma bonded
I loss 16yrs of my life dating a woman with BPD After the experience I am now suicidal.
@@tonrobert3391 it's hard loving someone who doesn't really exist. The whole relationship was fake and built on smoke and mirrors.
@@tonrobert3391 I hope you can still find back and deal with the losses knowing there is still so much good to experience, even after all that.
Why do BPD's avoid psychoterapy?
Maybe because no one thinks it's an illness. family friends and loved ones say we are sensitive, dramatic, crazy, strange, hard to live with.
Maybe because psychologists speak about us as a "half person".
Maybe because they say it's impossible to heal.
Usually because they don't realise they have a disorder. Their families, remembering this disorder stems from an invalidating childhood environmental event, do not recognize their own dysfunction and often think they are doing a fine job of parenting. The half person thing - rings very accurate for me. BPD is very difficult to articulate, and I suspect you would get different responses from each person in a row of borderlines lined up. I was an abstraction and struggled to locate myself as a physical entity in the world separate to the general nebulous mass that was my family. The half person is the inability of the borderline mind to undergo the 'normal' stages of emotional development or at least undergo them at the same rate as most teens. BPD symptoms, studies show, abate over time and there are very successful therapies that can and do lead people to a place where they no longer meet the criteria for a diagnosis of BPD. I think it's a very tricky one and have certainly been treated very badly by health care 'professionals'. DBT, developed by Marsha Lineham, for the treatment of BPD specifically works really well (in my experience and Studies show).
i have NEVER avoided therapy, my husband has but i have not
Exactly. My therapist, however, was very understanding and said very little of what this guy is saying.
Mick And Agi I don't. I want help so bad it hurts I just don't know where to start
It's because it's expensive n they're usually broke due to BPD coz of shopping addiction or depression or lack of support
So true. Being codependent, relationships with BPD/Covert narcissists are addicting and destructive. Being subject to bread crumbing, gaslighting, inconsistent reinforcement, and ghosting is hell on earth.
WE ARE NOT COVERT NARCISSISTS !!! That is a totally different disorder ! So you typing BPD/Covert Narcissists is misleading and unfair to people who suffer from bpd. Please do your research ! I suffered at the hands of a covert narcissist many years in marriage and we were NOTHING alike.
My sister is exactly like that. Bread crumbing, gaslighting, love bombing, smear campagning, and always playing victim with false narratives. No contact or grey rock are the best options for sure. 💯
Codependent are more narcissistic than bordelines
Shame on you for combining bpd with covert narcissism. You are sadly misinformed. Most people with bpd are NOT intentionally abusive unlike narcissists.
This is a very good job. As the daughter of a BPD and ex girlfriend of a BPD guy I can tell this video describes what its been like for me. My boyfriend started to say you never loved me when I suggested therapy and my mother used to have outbursts of low self steem when my dad gave her self care products. They are sensitive beings.
Half an individual? Someone capable of love 5times greater than the average person would actually be more human than human..
Love is a delusion. BPDs display hate at a super-human level exceeded only by a raging narcissist. Love is imagined as an excuse to harm a vulnerable person.
@Steve Dannely for Yang Some Borderlines are not aggressive outwards, but rather inwards - they hurt themselves. I think they call it 'evasive borderline'
You dont love someone you wanna make people your personal slave and punching bag. So you are stunted.
But can flip it in seconds and dispose of you
My relationships have been with secure people and they have not developed fast but once they get there my borderline comes out. Iam completely aware of it being my fault, i become sensitive and lash out impulsively and when i calm down iam very upset with myself and aware of how abusive i can be that in turn reinforces that i do not deserve this person. Iam now avoidant and would'nt know how to get involved with anyone, im terrified of the feelings i get and terrified of hurting someone i love. I do not deny my mental instabilty.
+lazerhaze Gee where would anyone get the impression that you're not worthy of love?
+Travis Rogers Oh sure, YOU'RE worthy of love, but anyone who says something that offends you deserves to have their parents gassed by the Nazis. Ross Rosenberg made a video you disagree with. Travis Rogers advocates genociding his parents in a gas chamber. Typical TYPICAL BPD point of view. If someone says something you don't like, EVEN IF THEY DIDN'T SAY IT TO YOU....your solution is advocating murder. I obviously don't agree with you, are you going to advocate murdering MY parents? You sound like a wonderful person, I really don't know how people with your disorder got such a bad reputation.
+Travis Rogers that's a horrible thing to say, but having been in a relationship with someone with bpd it doesn't surprise me.
Travis Rogers wow hahaha, your response induced laughter in me, it's that kind of response that throws you off because it's so hateful and sad honestly, my goodness, what a miserable individual you are. Oh wait, yeah you have bpd, yeah, I'm not taking you seriously. But you might actually be worse than my ex when it came to hateful comments. Hope you get help with that.
+Travis Rogers I hope that you get the help you need.
If you're borderline you'd better have bucks and family support.
No one mentions this - ever.
EVER!
No coz their family were the ones who abused them for them to be BPDs
Absolutely. That's a big factor why people don't even try treatment. Coz, it's life long. And often highly over charged... Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
@@aislingying9971 yup that's what makes it all the worse...
@@aislingying9971 not everyone gets abused. It's also inherited.
@@Msfracture Thank you. My youngest has BPD and bipolar 2, and was brough up in a loving family, no abuse, no neglect. It was triggered by a serious of traumatic events in their 20s. The family are the support system in our case. I wish people wouldn't make blanket statements about mental health.
He must be talking about someone that has severe BPD, like the worst ever. I have some of the characteristics he mentions but I have been dealing with it since I was 19 years old and I have gotten help throughout the entire time. It took years to get the correct diagnosis but when I did I bought the book "New Hope for people with BPD" and figured out how to help myself along with the caring and kindness of my family who never beat me or neglected me..
MissTotos He's talking about guys like me who went until 45 to be diagnosed. Imagine what the past few decades were like lol
I feel intense guilt for ending a life long friendship with someone who has BPD. I was recovering from major depression when I realized I could no longer offer my support and love at the expense of my own mental health. The relationship was crippling my own recovery and I could not afford to risk the well being of myself and my family for someone who refused to seek help and commit to treatment. This was eye opening. Thank you for the video.
This comment right here 👏🏾 SAME
I hope you're able to let go of the guilt.
I ended a friendship with a covert narc.
She used niceness and Christianity to try and control me. When I called her out and put her on the spot for some stuff she blocked me. She was more concerned about me hurting her feelings and had no consideration about hurting my feelings. I don't feel guilty, I feel proud that I stood up for myself and voiced my discontent over her blatantly lying to me and then acting like God didn't see all that. The discard was to be expected. A true friendship would have been able to navigate through the confrontation...but you can't reason with a narc and the coverts are hard to spot, but not impossible to spot once you've gained enough awareness and clarity.
Doing what's right for you and your own wellbeing should not make you feel ashamed or guilty, but I know it does because I've been the codependent and I've come out of a narcisstic environment and childhood myself and it seems to accept certain behaviors is just engrained in me.
I can finally trust in myself and my own judgements.
The time and energy I've spent to appease that friendship is time and energy I can invest in myself and into healing and I've opened up a space to find a more healthy friendship to come into my life 😊.
Recovery is possible.
It's also deepened my own faith.
I’m in a healthy relationship with a borderline and they’re in therapy. Of course there are disagreements as with any relationship, but it’s no different than the average relationship. You just have to be proactive in identifying triggers and identify when they’re being irrational.
I would run if I were you...
redpillthinking thanks mom. I don’t need your nanny state esque advice.
@@raptorbadger69 I was just trying to give friendly advice, my comment had no ill intentions. I was in a relationship with a borderline for over 2 years and it was the most toxic 2 years of my life. I kept telling myself they would change and things would get better, but they only got worse. But good luck.
Are you still hanging in there?
@@redpillthinking6043 You know, I think it is AWFULLY hilarious, that people like you are so quick to judge someone that has BPD like me, calling us out as bad people and yet, you changed your demeanor to "My comment had no ill intentions." It most certainly had ill intentions and I don't appreciate that at all. And got worse? My guess is that you refused to educate yourself on the illness and actually help your spouse. Not everyone has to be lousy and uncompassionate like you, karen.
listening to this man I feel he speaks from bitter experience rather than an unbiased educative position, and is therefore an example of the stigma and not a tool to help demolish it, and so I cannot absorb him seriously as a lecturer on the subject
Phil Euerby I agree!. That, plus his selling a book 5 seconds into the video, and the empty metaphors like the "half a person" concept. Not very professional at all.
As a Highly aware BPD its fun to see the comments on Bpd videos on YT, so raw and triggered. its like a giant case study
+PrincessFareeha you said 'as a highly aware BPD'. I want to ask you..can you really change? if you are willing enough and with the right therapy? i really do want to change but i am desperately looking for hope! please reply
How did you come to be highly aware? I’m trying to understand this disorder. Don’t mean to offended you but are you aware if and when you’re behaving in a way that harms and hurts others?
Fun?
@Jess B Wow. It sounds like you are describing the relationship between me and my girlfriend. She calls her splits "swings" and is acutely aware of when they are coming and how powerless she is to stop them. The tone of voice and facial expression changes you describe are absolutely spot on. It's very scary to be on the receiving end of. I have to be careful how I react in case my response triggers a negative cycle of learned behaviour in us both. I feel vindicated reading this. Someone understands! My girlfriend is in therapy and getting better at managing her condition. I hope you have supportive partner and get the help you need. Thank you for your comment.
@Jess B Jess, could you please tell me what kind of treatment you are receiving or how or where i can look for help? I just discovered i suffer of borderline p.d. I just ruined yet another relationship and friendship, I feel terrible, I'm drinking heavily and feeling miserable and lost. I need help but i do not know how or where to get it.
This is inaccurate because most borderlines are also codependent and tend to attract narcissists
Crossing the Borderline exactly. I think many of the people who agree with this video series (including the author himself) are probably narcissists. Narcissists can’t tell they have a problem and put up all kinds of defense mechanisms to convince themselves they are not the problem. People with BPD know they have a problem and know something is wrong with them and they don’t want to be that way. What these narcissists have done is found a way to identify a “problem with themselves” that’s really about the other person. The problem is that they fall for people with BPD lol. It’s the most narcissistic excuse on the planet. These people are so dangerous and so sick.
@@annesmith9633 I think you are completely delusional sitting there being an armchair psychiatrist. What a stupid and broad generalization, saying the author and people who agree with his opinion are likely narcissists. Yes, you've got it all figured out Anne. Jesus, /whooooosh to the max. You're clearly operating under some very serious delusions.
@@annesmith9633 You are obviously a borderline in complete denial and it's a frustrating thing to witness cause I dealt with it with my ex. Calling everyone a Narc is a clear sign your deflecting and trying to pass the buck. A typical trait of a Narc.
I do however agree with "crossing the borderline" that not all borderlines are unaware. But here is the problem. Most are aware but they continue to slip in and out of denial despite the moments of awareness.
@@jhumble7045, my BPD gf called me a narcissist and kept trying to prove it when I am avoidant. She knows the difference and was just picking a fight to be mean to me.
Narc on narc. They deserve each other.
I am the scape goat of the family and suffer from traits of BPD I am also the co dependant to my narcissist mother!
As a poster child as a Borderline, I can't keep relationships. I'm very sensitive. But I care about all people. I empathize of everyone that suffers. I have been in therapy for years. I have found the best action for me to not hurt people is to isolate. I get very afraid to be in social settings because I might impulsively do something wrong. I don't blame anyone. All I can say, it's the most lonely painful sad way to live. I have a few friends who tolerate me. I warn people that if I go off the handle to go away and come back in 24 hours. (this is before they have ever seen the rage). But yes, you are right on about the abuse, the lack of nurturing and the loss of love as a child that cultivated this disorder in me. I think I'm doing better. The abandonment issue is unbearable. I've never left the most abusive men that I have had relationships with. I mean put in the hospital abusive. But everyone has always left me. I'll take it all. Now I sit here day after day all alone. I feel it to be the best way to not hurt anyone.
How did you get diagnosed/get him? Was it willingly ?
Awwww i relate xxx so heartbroken
I’m not diagnosed but I relate to this on such a deep level I teared up for at some point while I read it...
I know exactly how you feel. I grew up with so much abuse that I don't know how to appreciate or maintain relationships...the thoughts of being worthless just never go away. I take a handful of psychiatric medication, plus some herbal supplements which have helped to save my life several times and help keep me from splitting as badly as I used to: lithium, lamictal, citilopram, lorazepam, gotu kola, bacopa, dark chocolate and red wine. I don't have many relationships, but at least now I feel much more aware of myself and of the feelings of others. The horrific emptiness isn't as debilitating as it used to be, and now I can usually talk (write) myself into doing something positive and productive.
Marian V...what you've said, is how I have felt my whole life...No good help to be found. I'm 68 now.
Doesn't seem to be anyone to understand...
Tky for your post share. I am very upfront about things...but, again I'm a handful and not to be easily
deterred. Seems everyone ...leaves me😢
When I met my spouse, we lingered as friends for years, then began a relationship. I knew he was "different", but didn't know how yet. We became married, and now 14 years later, it was discovered that he has BPD. Yes he can be difficult at times, but as his wife, I feel it's my job to be patient and remain loving him. I'm no co-dependent, but I do have a great deal of experience working with adults and children with a variety of emotional and developmental disorders. I suggest that if someone is in a long term relationship with a person who has BPD , they work together to make it work, rather than abandoning the individual.
As a man who deals with this, i want to thank you on your husband's behalf and mine. I met my wife when I was 16 and we have been together since for 15 years. She has stuck by my side from day one. I know it is not easy, but we love you guys and our own families we have created more than can be described. So thank you for hanging tight and loving on him. The world needs more women like you guys.
Just realized this is 4 years old. Hopefully you guys were able to make it through since your post.
I just lost a good friend. She tried her best but I lost her. Reading this, I hope you stayed strong
90% of people with a BPD partner try to make it work but the BPD is usually so abusive, takes no accountability, cheats, ruins your life etc. Very little point in sticking with them at all. Rare if the relationship can actually be healthy and worked at. And I don’t mean illusions of a healthy relationship I mean as close to normal and actually equal as it should be.
As a health professional I find this disgusting.
As someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, I find this to be accurate. This video is describing Abusive Borderlines, he CLEARLY states that in the description. It's an awful, awful disorder for the sufferer but that does not change the fact that many BPD sufferers are not self aware and can become very abusive during episodes due to that
Living with someone with BPD will take you to hell and back then back again. I've lived with one for years and the episodes last from a day to weeks.
You get real tired of being called useless at everything, old, a nobody and the list goes on.
I've learnt to ignore the behaviour to degree but that doesn't stop the doing or saying something to get a reaction from me....it's like a trap.
Good luck to all
Ross Rosenburg I have BPD and just want to say thank you for this video. I got my diagnosis about 7 years ago. I didn't take it too seriously at the time. Actually, it took getting sober to really realize something was seriously wrong with me. I got into a relationship before I understood my diagnosis. I'm still with him and still finding out more about BPD.Our relationship is struggling (surprise). Wanting to face things to do all I can to fix it is why I came to your video. I'm hoping he'll watch it too because I think he might be codependent. I want the best for him. I thank you again for this eye-opening video. Some of us with this disorder actually want to get better.
This is so spot on! Every word you said it's frightening. My bpd partner of 3 years I have a son with, has just turned his back on both of us and physically blocked all ways of contact. This man acted like he could not function (that's what he use to say all the time) without me. After a dv relationship of 11 years myself, then I was on my own for 8 years as a result of that trauma , till I met him, this man swooped me off my feet . To cut a long story short, every time (but without a normal person's true justification I add ) he thought I may leave him (and I wasn't going to at all) he went back chasing his ex wife he has a child with. It's all been so intense and crazy and I feel like I've been on a spin cycle for 3 years and just been spat out on the kitchen floor and don't know what's happening. He's now chasing his ex wife who is really sweet (but he led me to believe was a monster) saying their marriage was more "healthy" and he's on a mission to get back with her and like we never existed (me and his son). I'm left upset, hurt, feeling like I'd never go near a man again, and he's chasing up a woman he divorced 3 years ago who he maintained he never really loved. Worst experience of my life! Help!
I have BPD. I am educating myself because I want to change my ways and recover. I am just starting this video, so bring on the aggravation. I need it. Hoping this video really kicks my ass.
Thanks! that explains so much of what I've been through with my ex. I have started therapy since to address my self confidence issues. I was so deeply in love and glanced over some very obvious red flags. Now I can't understand how I didn't see them. Everyone else around me saw them and warned me about her behavior.
Just wait until a borderline turns on you . My wife recently left me and is desperately trying to keep my daughter from me. They will go to any length to control you , even after they leave .
Someone once said "A borderline is a narcissist that has empathy when they feel like it. Piss them off and you'll see the full narc".
Borderlines are individuals who have developed severe CPTSD from exposure to emotional abuse in childhood and are unable to form healthy relationships. Anyone can develope "BPD" if they were exposed to narcassistic/psychopathic personality types in childhood. We know BPD is different then narcasisstic personality types because they still have the capacity to self reflect and have empathy for others. When someone with BPD becomes triggered, it is a reaction they needed to learn in order to survive in their environment growing up. In my own opinion, these individuals are simply empaths who had to grow "thorns" in order to survive as a child. They are no different then anyone who has been through a real war zone, and with a lot of work, they will stop attracting abusers and stop being abuseres themselves. The DSM needs to get rid of this stigmatizing term "borderline" already and see it for what it really is. TRAUMA.
It's called "borderline" because the disorder is in the middle of psychosis(a disconnection from reality, such as schizophrenia) and neurosis (a self aware mental disorder, such as Depression where you can tell something is wrong and have little to no loss of touch with reality). Not because of stigma. Though there is a very, very strong correlation with BPD and Trauma, we still don't exactly know why it's caused and there are plenty of people without a traumatic past who have the disorder. Also, you left out the part about how truly horrible it is to live with BPD, especially when many of the people around you think you're a terrible person and even psychologists refuse to treat you just for having it
Accurate description LL
JDMime Absolutely. Unfortunately with most mental illness people see the illness as the person and not the person for who they are. They are two different things. It doesn’t define us. And there are good people and bad people, mental illness or not. Just because someone has BPD doesn’t mean they’re automatically a bad person. I don’t understand why it is so rare to see someone use logic anymore. Some of the comments on here are disappointing.
Wrong as shit. I survived 25 years of rape torture. I never developed BPD. I have avoidant personality disorder and complex PTSD from non-stop abuse including rape and murder attempts. The BPD is a little bully miscreant who never grew out of being bullying piece of shit. The trauma is brought on themselves by refusing to behave as children. I walked on eggshells and got attacked. I never developed BPD. I became avoidant and the BPD would find me and try to kill me. I was unable to get away and the school teachers participated in the abuse to kill me. I suffered non-stop abuse for 25 years and never developed BPD. I developed extreme PTSD and irreparable anger issues. I have no friends because of BPDs trying to hurt me. The males are jealous and want to fight.
@@k.hubbell7821, they are bad people. Any person who cannot contain their toxicity is a bad person. If I had Tourettes Syndrome where I pretend that a tic is punching you in the face, then you should let me beat you to death because I am not a bad person for pretending to reflexively jab my fist into your face until you die. BPDs are bad people by the mere fact that they refuse to modulate their toxic behavior like an adult. Harming others is bad. A BPD harms others. Hence, by logic, BPDs are bad people. All that is needed is to stop harming others but the BPD has a nature to cause harm and play the victim for not being able to not be bad.
I was diagnosed with bi polar 10years before I found out I was actually BPD. I had an episode that cost me my marriage, my family, and I could have lost my daughter.
This episode landed my in the hospital against my will, where I spent the first 3 days seduced and restrained. I hit my rock bottom when my daughter came in and I saw the devastation and disappointment and lost look in her eyes, as she never once saw me have an episode and we had a strong and loving relationship, and it broke me to see her like that.
It was my 12 year old daughter that gave me the strength, the unconditional love, the want/desire, the hope and the will to really want to take a good look at myself down to the core and get serious intensive help. I stayed willingly at the hospital for 5 weeks where I started learning my triggers and I was introduced to the basics of DBT therapy. I then did an everyday 8-5pm for 30 days out patient program consisting of therapy, CBT, emotion regulation strategies etc etc. It helped more than you could ever imagine, it changed my life really, however the hardest part for me is implementing it everyday all day because it really is changing the way you think entirely, but I'm getting there, and I am trying. I start the full one year DBT program in 2 weeks and I'm so excited and grateful for all of it.
BPD people CAN change, it just a matter of looking admitting and accepting your deep to the core traits, and characteristics and behaviors. Then learning about yourself, your diagnosis, the cause, and the treatment options. Then get the therapy you need and take courses till you know the stuff inside and out and feel like you have enough "tools in your toolbox" to handle your most intensive thoughts and moments, then Maintain Maintain Maintain!
Dr Rosenberg, I absolutely respect and appreciate your work. Thank you for what you do. I also think it’s important to mention that sometimes a person who suffers from Borderline PD has been sexually abused or traumatized but had a good childhood.
Thanks for addressing the Elephant in the room madam. That's what the point is often I have seen that people with BPD or narcissism had above average childhood and parents who were not abusive. Although their parents focused on their material needs and fully neglected their emotional needs, never let them male choices or independence and so they became codependent. My girl was Vulnerable Narcissist, although I firmly believe that she had hidden some part of her parenting from me.
If you were sexually abused you didn’t have a good childhood
Well, not all BPDs are the same, as has been mentioned. It's all a greyzone. Some are unfortunately out of reach, but many are fortunately not. I'm thinking BPD/NPD comorbids are the ones getting all the internet-attention and end up misrepresenting BPD as a whole. BPDs can indeed not all be lumped together, which is a good reminder for any BPDs watching this video and commenting. We are all unique.
I have been lonely all my life. Then I met my ex, who had borderline I think. Im still healing from it. My soul is in pieces
My ex wife was BPD. They really do leave an ugly mark. No matter how ppl in comments or gentleman in video trying to make them seem as an ok ppl... They are just evil. It's a fact
@@emilkadd they are not. They are in pain. I guess your ex wife was abusive, but the majority of ppl with bpd don't want to hurt anyone.
SCRATCHY sure sure, tell that to hundreds maybe even thousands of guys and girls they left almost at suicidal stage! Fuck them
@@emilkadd Most of them probably deserved it honestly.
That's exactly how I feel about my ex :-(
I am a person who has been diagnosed with BPD and I am trying to find things that will help my husband understand me better.
God, this was HARD to watch after knowing my now recent "ex" and i, who had exhibited such intense qualities in the beginning of our relationship, had just monkeybranched me for a new guy she just met....
Is it BPD or is it hypergamy? Sorry bud, keep finding whatever makes you smile and forget the bad shit.
@@msi8311 thanks, Brother. Ya, I'll be good. I appreciate it...
The "half person" comment needs to be seen in context. Please read my article, "Is Your Relationship Mathematically Sound?"
www.huffingtonpost.com/ross-a-rosenberg/is-your-relationship-math_b_4477076.html
Ross Rosenberg Trust me, I know the context and it's still an awful thing to say.
Who makrs the rules about what is normal or not? In my area if you dont sleep right away with someone(if you are not virgin anymore)you are a prude, homosexual, etc. If you don't "lose yourself" you are a control freak, ice queen. Whats wrong with being passional? I'm blamed that i'm to soft, but i think its normal to feel passio/desire for someone attractive. Not all ppl inspire the same thing. And not all have the same testosterone level or the same sex drive. Besides, you can wait 10 years to get to"know somebody" and realise you know shit. I think more the theory BORN THIS WAY. BIOLOGY BEFORE EXPERIENCE. 2 ppl who lived a solitary life in a jungle can act very different when they are put in"civilisation". ppl dont become monks becouse they are passional and explosive. Besides, if it doesn't happen to"fall in passion"every day with any person i dont see whats wrong. Its a matter of finding the right one for you. Now we label ppl"schizoid, codependent, borderline,etc".Truth is ppl are different and if we look better in our own yard nobody is sane. "The only normal persons are the ones you don't know well" (or better the ones you never met).As long as you dont stalk, rape, force, blackmail, kill or threat someone its ok to be as you wish. 100 years ago all women were codependent (at least financially)and it was ok. In some countries is still ok. Some ppl dont even know what passion is. They marry for material, image, status,to hide their true sexual orientation, or simply to have kids and to not be alone. So who says what is normal and why "borderlines"are more to blame? At least they are not hypocrites like others.
If you look on facebook most ppl look narcissistic and borderlines. I think today is more shocking not to be one.
Its always neglect or abuse. Shure...what was not anormal 200 yrs ago is perfectly normal now. What is normal in my country maybe its not so normal in your's. If i wanna live alone on a far island ppl say im crazy(or blame neglect and abuse). Many ppl were neglected and abused and in addition they are poor. And not all fall hard and passionally. Some dont even know how the opposite sex looks like naked, besides from tv, media.
Whim Reaper Thank god, I tought I was the only male borderline in the world until you.
Ya had me until you said we lack self awareness. I’ve been extremely self aware of exactly what it is for over ten years
@aquarius dreams you bet what?
Sounds like you’ve got quite a lot of emotional baggage. Especially to be taking it out on a stranger on TH-cam. I hope you find the peace you need 🖤
Are you ok
Me too, I have EXTREME REMORSE AND GUILT. It eats me away at night.
Lack of change in behavior & constantly blaming the other person while not verbalizing any responsibility in the conflict just screams lack of self awareness so you can understand why he'd say that lol
PSA: People with BPD are NOT their disorders. We are not incomplete, abnormal, crazy, or hopeless. We are not failed human beings. There are those who are abusive who happen to have this diagnosis. There are those who have this diagnosis who happen to be abusive. But it is not true of all people diagnosed with BPD. I am so sick of this stigma that tells people I'm dangerous, abusive, incapable of affection and compassion, and unworthy of love. I am so sick of people thinking it's okay to tell me things like, "But you're not fucked up enough to have Borderline Personality Disorder!" as if it's supposed to be a compliment or a statement to solve all of my mental problems. I'm sick of looking for self-help and therapy videos only to find dribble like this that tries to demonize my existence and 'warn' people to stay out of relationships with "incomplete human beings" like me. I have been an abuser and a manipulator. I grew up in an environment where that was the only way I could survive and defend myself. But I own up to it now and I have figured out how to cope with the majority of my issues. However, more often than not, it's the 'sane' people who listen to bull shit like what you're spewing that abuse, manipulate, and take advantage of people with mental illness.
Kathria Alexandria
👍👍👍👍
Kathria Alexandria Preach, amen. I hope you recover.
Kathria Alexandria Honey....this guy is spot on deal with it and get some help its out there your so go on with your know it all ass.cuse you don't know shit from applebetter
Danny Burch Well according to my abnormal psychology book what she says is right, and you are an idiot. Also before you go talking about how it's an "abnormal psychology book" remember the definition of normal is relative. Both Hitler, and you think you're doing the right thing spouting your own personal ideology about the subject because you're "normal."
Stop trying to romanticize the disorder. he said it because it is true. Those that have the disorder just dont like hearing the truth. if you have depression you need help. if you have BPD guess what you need help. get over it and stop jumping on vids that are actually for teh abused not the abusers
My girlfriend is diagnosed with depression but i believe she's borderline. She matches absolutely every clinical symptom their is. I feel like this video summed our relationship up but what's weird is that she acted like a silent category borderline for months until i proved myself to her. She tried leaving whenever she fell too deeply for me and she acts like the silent category with everyone except me now and it seems like she's tradition borderline with me now that she knows I'm not going to abandon her. I do love her deeply and she does fill am empty void for me. I'm very knowledgeable with psychology but Lee's knowledgeable with borderlines. When i met her She was in a lot of pain and self destructive and since i met her I'm always building her up and she seems to always be getting better even her sister tells me it's so but i would like to learn more about how i can help her. Where could i look our study up more about this subject. She's outrageously beautiful, loving and kind and knows she has problems and admits it even though only to me. With her i know when she feels extreme love for me and we've reached new levels because hours later she gets freaked out and scared and attacks me and i have to convince her that she's safe with me and that normally leads to sex but i want to understand better how to help her.
I respect what he is trying to do with his videos and some of them are spot on but at the same time... dude, you look high in this video.
MissTotos Adds to my respect for him.. mixing work and play is healthy.
*No. I have BPD and my parents and childhood was for the most part good, so you can't blame that.*
Thank you. As a single-mother who did everything I could for my child, I was heartbroken to read that BPD is my fault. AURGH!!! She came in this way, I fled from her father when she was nearly 4.
Sandra Larsen CPT It isn't your fault whatsoever my parents always cared for me and they did the best they could to raise me what I think made me develop this disorder is bullying, getting abandoned by people I loved and being used by people in general in fact I believe that without my parents I wouldn't be here because I used to have suicidal thoughts and tendencies what I'm trying to say is that many things can be the cause of the development of this disorder I don't think it is your fault at all so please do not blame yourself
Yup. I have one child with borderline and two other children who don't have any 'disorder' - but my youngest were born blue and I suspect some sort of damage of the frontal lobes.
My daughter has bpd. She has two parents that where always there for her and a huge extended family full of loving people. To say that all bpd individuals where subjected to abuse or neglect is false.
I know, anecdotal evidence all over this ...
This is important and relevant to me. I almost died trying to keep a family together with someone who has BPD, and I ended up loosing everything, ended up in jail, and homeless. I knew something was wrong soon after we had our child. I tried leaving her many many times but at that time I was not fully aware of the effects of Border Line Personality Disorder. I don't care what the comments say I KNOW BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER AT AN EXTREME LEVEL and this video exceeds relevance. She ruined my life.... and right now she is working on ruining someone else. However; he may be described as the codependent. They got married only two months after meeting. He is a prison convict who uses Meth and Heroine.
Matthew Tiller whatdid you notice after the child
Exact same story.
Same situation, 10 years of my life down the toilet essentially.
Hi, l have a boyfriend with this desorder, he is very calm and nice person but in 20 minutes he becomes in a monster , very agresive , he talks with my friends from Facebook, and he wants to talk bad things about me , l feel so sad
Take accountability for your own actions dude. If you end up in prison or on drugs it's your own stupid fault. Grow up.
These videos are very important. I understand the people with BPD have very painful lives, but we have to be honest about the immense pain they cause on their loved ones. Things kinds of videos are not meant to blame. They are meant for healing for the rest of us who have had to cope with such erratic people (emotionally). My ex's behavior took advantage of my empathy for 14 years. For those with BPD: if these videos trigger you, for goodness sake don't watch them!
Wife of 23 years literally just threw me away like Trash. She’s on a constant rage for a year now. Now I am afraid my 13 year-old son is going to be mentally abused by my partner with BPD. The really dangerous thing is she is not self-aware And never has been. It’s traumatizing and frightening. She won’t even let me be a friend after 23 years of sharing a heart mind and soul.
I respect people who decided to develop themselves , and moved forward.
Respect those that were not able to.
This is so spot on, especially with regard to hearing something other than what the person dealing with them says.
SO sad to see so many with BPD commenting on this video when it was explicitly told it was not for them!! Shame. They never can respect boundaries.
My "ex-fiancée" has BPD, and wow...it was SUPER-HOT!!!! (Most epic disaster EVER.) SOOO HOT!! She's the best&worst thing that's ever happened to me.
I have BPD. it constantly feels like my friends are out to get me. I write off people like it's nothing. I have worked on it to the point where I don't feel like a sociopath. But, it's so hard to care about people in this fucked up world.
Or maybe its just me...
they are broken and do not deserve your love. these people are wicked. if potential partners were able to talk with their prior victims, they would not be able to continue doing this as no one would date them. good to know that they are lonely. they sure don't care about how they hurt others.
My two previous BPD girlfriends were obsessed with having a long-term partner to be with them through retirement. Both were entitled to having a man but made no effort to be nice or even understand how they were causing me harm. My BPD father died of inanition in a nursing home. Emptiness. He died alone and bitter. Fuck him. I hated him since my earliest memory. The official cause of death was lung cancer but the doctor notes described his affect as inanition. My nurse gf with BPD is still single after we broke up 12 years ago. None of them deserve to be in a relationship with a good person.
Great points and video. Truth is first raged against.
I’m only 3 minutes in, and this is already the BEST description I’ve found regarding BPD. Just wow.
Thanks for watching Breonna.
The only way to survive being with a Borderline, is being an egotistical narcissist yourself. Ive survived the past couple of years with my GF this way; but it starts to get to you, and you start to feel like youre going crazy; and turning into a shitty person overall...
Maverick D. break up with her if you hate her that much, don't blame her for your problems, no one's forcing you to be with her.
Maverick D. Dude, dump her. She's not a blood relative (well, hopefully not, if you're dating her), you have no obligation to her. Get away from her before you end up married or having a kid.
***** Oooookay.
Maverick D. Right you are, only my ex GF who was diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder was able to handle me and put me in my place. Not to say that I didn't manage to massacre her reality anyhow, but at least she got me into therapy and diagnosed.
Zona Rosa Not really possible. I'm borderline male and all my exes going back 30 years couldn't leave... like the videos says, its the sex. We boderlines spent lots of time and effort in our early years figuring out sex to perfection as a tool to keep our uhh victims around. I'm not bragging cuz its a lot about tye transfer of anger into thrusts. We have to leave them.
I just learned recently that my husband for 10yrs now might have a BPD. So that explains our very quick romance at the beginning. I'm in need of love at that time when we met and there he was willing to love me intensely. Our marriage was a roller coaster, he cheated on me many times and almost separated. I stayed bcoz of our children, I don't want to end up with a broken family for the fear of the effect to our children. I have half siblings that's why I saw the effect of that . He's cheating had a bad effect on me, I still don't trust him completely. But now I think he's becoming more rational. I hope it will continue. I just have to be mindful of triggers. We both have to manage our behaviour and expectations.
i feel like this man is speaking about me specifically. this has been a strange experience for me 😁
being a borderline sucks. it's really painful.
it's fascinating o read the comments and see all the people who say they suffer from this disorder lash out and react with anger and emotion. You can see all the text Book classic symptoms listed such as splitting, projection, and so on.
All this really does is validate even more the information in this video and it provides readers who want information a real world example of the very things that are being spoken of in the video regarding BPD and and these traits.
at notime did he generalize or label everybody as one way or another, and yet you see people here claiming that he's painting with a broad brush and saying "I'm not this way" or "I'm not that way and how dare you say this or say that."..
Typical symptoms of splitting and projection right there folks.
the fact is, just because somebody suffers from a condition, doesn't mean it's okay to be abused by them, or ok for them to abuse you.
It is okay to forgive them, and they should seek that forgiveness, but it should never be assumed that because one suffers from a condition that it should just be excused.
Dear Ross my first husband was an orphan Just as you explained.. a terrible childhood. I grew up in a toxic home as the scapegoat. Correct... we were both half people. We were married for 36 years and had 4 beautiful children He refused therapy. I had to go for therapy and therapists could not tell me what was wrong. He had many scary rages... But I forgave this without him ever.apologising.He often had a tendency to be hypochondriac... He passed away of a heart attack at age. 62 But only now I understand the truth. Thank you for explaining it so beautifully and with compassion. To me you are amazing!
Thanks so much for sharing Helet.
I do agree very much with this video, I have had many, many relationships for my age and all have ended in disaster. Only two of my relationships have lasted a "long" period of time. I too jump into relationships quick, and emotionally become attached to a person even after meeting them once. I don't think we are incapable of a relationship though it just takes the right person to understand.
This was hard for me to watch. One of my exes had this. It was way too intense and quick. I would be overwhelmed every single day. I have let it go a long time back. But the intensity I had witnessed while in the relationship resides in my brain forever.
This is insightful and well explained. These relationships can be tragedies for all involved, but with honesty with one's self, a person with BPD can lead to a more fulfilling life with strong relationships. I have BPD and was married to someone who had this as well. It was intense and very hard. Also, people must understand there are variances-psychology is not one size fits all. Please, give help a chance. If you had negative experiences with psychology, dont give up. It just takes the right therapy and the right professional for you. My only regret is not getting help sooner. I still have struggles, but my life is so much more peaceful and joyful after a lifetime of guilt anger and pain.
This reminds me deeply of two people. My girlfriend and my mother.
I am fucked.
Dam doc, I've watched many videos on bpd all of which have good info in bits and pieces. ... You hit it exactly right and filled in all the blanks I had hands down. Thanks
So glad it was helpful!
I am currently exploring the failures in my relationship history. It has taken me on quite an enlightening journey. Starting in Hawaii with my first exposure to the 12 steps of AA I have been blessed by having such wonderful sponsors and friends who have been there for me. I am so grateful for people such as Ross who freely provide their service to those of us who are searching for peace and truth in our inner man. Thank you Mr. Rosenberg, your service to mankind is greatly appreciated. God bless you, keep up the good work.
Fucking hell I have the disorder and your saying I'm unlovable? Wow real nice guy you are.
Finnegan Lewis well i do love myself lol
It's pretty obvious you had an ex with BPD who hurt you and now you just want to shameand talk bad about everyone with the condition 🙄
Yo, You wanna read the description? I think people who abuse their s/o's are pretty half human to me. This video is Aimed towards people who have had an abusive relationship and describing the BPD abuser, not just any random Joe Schmo borderline. Cherry Pick all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that sometimes people with BPD are abusive and pathetic because they can't control themselves.
I have BPD and your comment and reasoning are just pathetically poor and mediocre.
I have a 23 year old daughter diagnosed with BPD. Her father, whom she saw every other weekend starting when she was 7 years old after he returned from the Navy after 6 years, her father was sent to prison for life. (he loved her, never hurt her)... but obviously he did by the abandoment and why he was convicted. Her family on her father's side dropped all communication with her (sh e was always close to her Aunts and cousins) at the age of 12. Her grandmother (father's mother) completed suicide when she was 19. After that was when she was diagnosed. I feel this triggered the mental disease. My once bright, artistic musically outgoing daughter life is just so dramatic. She has isolated herself to one person whom is her only interest in life. a very much toxic relationship. I pay her bills as long as she is in school. She is pretty close to starting the mortuary science program. But it's taking a very long time. She threatens suicide and yet I can never hold her responsible to anything-- she says I do not understand her mental diseases. She tells me everyday how she is use to bring depressed and oh well, what's new type attitude. She has been on Prozac, kolonipan, and lithium. I don't think she stays stable on them. I go to bed every night thinking my phone will ring with the worse news in my life. I really have no support myself to talk to. I'm lost for words.
You do a great job of showing everyone watching what horrible, albeit hurting, monsters we with BPD are, and that we'll never change. As a matter of fact, your video enlightened me to what a monster and harmful human I am because of how my brain works, and how much better off the world, and my partner of 30 years, would be without me in it. WOW!!
Hey, doing acts that you’re not proud of doesn’t turn you into a monster... we just need to be responsible and learn how to deal with our mistakes
Well that wasn't very nice.... And, compared to other videos out there regarding BPD, he showed GREAT compassion. Even showing how therapy can greatly help and bring improvements. I don't know...... see this comment and my response (which could totally be counterproductive) is how me and my guys conversations go. But then I feel guilty afterwards.. like me trying to hold him accountable for his words/actions is a frivolous (and possibly cruel to the bpd) pursuit. Even feeling like I'm beating a dead horse and "bullying" my bpd guy by trying to hold him accountable when he's not even meaning to be rude. Then I get down on myself and feel guilty for either standing up for myself or by not standing up for myself and displaying a lack of self-respect/self-love, dignity, etc..... Hating myself further. Its a constant vicious inner battle 😩
Not the person with Borderline but "the borderline". Thanks, I didnt feel like your video contributed enough to the stigma towards BPD, but dehumanization was a nice touch!
I honestly pray that people experiencing a mental illness are not subjected to you.
This comment section is horrendous! People are either going to one extreme of enabling and excusing BPD behavior and then there are others going to the opposite extreme of telling those with BPD to commit suicide. Like jfc this is NOT how mature adults have conversations about mental illness!
They love bomb, but move on quite easily! I was married to a man with BPD. It was impossible to stay with him. It became abusive. Loved me one moment , despised me the next. Not ever even keeled. My codependence made me a target.
Great talk . Spot on.
I found your videos (and some others) browsing through the web trying to find answers to what I have been feeling for so many years. I was diagnosed with major depression about 10 years ago and they put me on Effexor, which I continue taking today. At the time, I was so confused that the diagnosis made sense to me, since I was feeling so sad, but it was short-lived! I understood later that my problem had to do with mood swings and personality-based disorders, but I still held on to the pills for fear of the sadness coming back. Now, I have found your videos (and others) and I clearly understand that what I suffer from is nothing else but BPD!!! I comply with 6 of the 9 traits you are supposed to have and I totally identify with everything you (and others on TH-cam) say!!! This has made me think about so many things about my past, present and how to face the future. Unfortunately, I live in a country where psychological treatments are very expensive so, that's totally out of the question. I must try to understand this by myself. This is why I THANK you so much for posting these videos. I am doing everything you guys say on the videos. I have even started doing the DBT myself!!! Too sad there might be more people in my country who are unaware of what they feel.... At least I am bilingual and I can understand what you guys say on your videos... I wish I could do more to help people here....but how could I? I still have BPD!!! Thanks!!!!!
Juan Martin What about side effects?
Borderlines need a long term connection and insurance is now going in the direction of "Crisis" management - short term.
Why don't you mention this?
Did you see Girl Interrupted. One of the main reasons that the main character recovers is because she has family financial support. Ever notice that? People don't want to consider this factor.
This story speak volumes of relativity to my life. I too unfortunately had a child with a women who was a borderline. We where married for 5 years and during the marriage she was diagnosed. Before I could figure it out as well, it was well past the point of no return. Even if their behavior is unintentional due to trauma, it still needs to be addressed. Like most people who want to make something work, I tried to keep the marraige together, but ultimately the splitting and devaluing behavior was just to cruel towards me.
She left me and took her Autistic 12 y/o stepson and my 2 y/o Biological daughter, who I assume are EMOTIONALLY EMESHED with her in some shape or form.
Tell me, does a 12 y/o going through puberty still sleeping with his mother okay? There were NO HEALTHY BOUNDARIES! Even if I tried to enforce them, they didn't respect them.
EITHER WAY, it's Good men like us that need to keep sharing our stories to help younger men avoid tragic situations like ours. My daughter was also collateral damage in the war. I had to make the same decision you did. As bad as it seems for a man to just be a deadbeat, some of us actually have GOOD reasons for our actions.
Now at the age of 32, I am rebuilding my life and decided to not remarry and NEVER have another child again. My money income is great and I am happy now that I've gotten my therapy. If my daughter wishes to speak to me, live with me, or learn what happen later, I will tell her the WHOLE TRUTH and take care of her. I cut her off to protect her from the shrapnel of the relationship.
Sometimes, just to be able to live, we have to cut off a piece of us. I hope that you find peace and pray to God to help keep you strong my friend. I will heal and cry with you for you are not alone. PLEASE SEEK THERAPY!
As someone with this disorder I agree with you. I denied there was anything wrong with me for so many years. But now that I'm older I'm more aware of my issues but for me treatment is difficult because I already feel like there's something seriously wrong with me and I'm scared therapy could enhance that even more. I didn't know if this might help your studies. But you're right abandonment and poor self esteem drive this personality disorder. Thank you for your video.
My wife has borderline and I was told it starts with ADHD. She is impulsive, compulsive and hypersensitive. This causes many problems in her life. As a result, she fears abandonment and becomes manipulative, retaliatory, psychotic, etc. therapy has only worked modestly. The only solution has been medication.
Run.
I honestly feel you should be very careful about talking about borderline people this way. Its a stereotype and puts a bad atigma out in the public only adding to the internal shame they already struggle with. Unless you suffer from it yourself then careful how you classify people with any disorder at all.
I have splitting with paranoid delusions where I genuinely believe the person that loves me is trying to secretly and slowly kill me.
And if someone is trying to kill me, my only logic is that they are very bad and evil and they must be destroyed.
I snap out of the delusional state as quickly as I go into it.
It leaves me feeling very distressed not knowing who is my friend and who is foe. Feels like my whole world is warped and I have no idea what anything is and I live in terror.
The worst part is that sometimes I am wrong, and I think someone that loves and cares about me is trying to harm me. But sometimes I am right, and the individual has malevolent intentions. That adds to the horror.
Wrong on one generalization: if someone said "Sweetie, you need to get some therapy" in a caring tone, I'd be willing. It's the ones that shut you out, or angrily tell you to get help that is disheartening.
If you people (that's right, YOU people with BPD) would spend half of the energy owning and taking responsibility for your behavior and how much it hurts those who try to love you as you do trying to change the conversation or attack this well researched individual, you would simply NOT have BPD.
I think that a forum like this bothers you SO much, is that the people speaking actually get to finish their thoughts and have their say before you get to dominate the conversation, emotionally hurt the person talking, or divert the conversation AWAY from the behavior that you so SORELY need to both control and take responsibility for.
For those of you who complain "I'm not my disease, don't label me!" I beg to differ. Someone with alcoholism is called an alcoholic. It's just what it's called. Picture someone with a destructive drinking problem spending their time and energy telling people "I'm a person with alcoholism, NOT an alcoholic!" instead of putting their time and energy into dealing with their problem, how helpful would that be? If this same alcoholic continues to get drunk and punch their spouse and children around, yet demanding compassion and sympathy while continuing to drink, how would you view them? Would you continue to take their side and insult their victims when they tried to articulate the pain and damage that was caused? Sadly, someone under the influence of alcohol has impaired judgement and BPD sufferers inflict this damage while sober. (Or in the case of my own ex, inflicting damage while both sober AND drunk)
I don't imagine that you people are on spouse abuse websites defending abusers and we all know why: because you know that no one would take your side, and being an expert on managing how you're perceived, you would never stick your neck out and defend spouse abusers for fear of being discovered to be an advocate and/or defender of such abuse. Yet there are almost a hundred of you, on this thread, that are doing just that. You, the BPD sufferer, seem to be TOTALLY unaware how much you illustrate just exactly what you are, by seeking out a forum like this, complaining that this video makes you "feel bad" (in real life you don't like it because it makes you LOOK bad ie how you really look in your behavior) and attacking the very kind of people that have been hurt by your behavior. This IS BPD.
You post on the forum as if it were your business to do so (free country, but read the disclaimer on the video), you assume the YOU are the most important person to be mollified, NOT the victims of your behavior, and going on to say how much hope there is for you and how hard you're working to change (although many of you don't even bother saying that, because it isn't true), but the very fact that you're here trying to manage the perceptions and discredit the people who know you for what you are, PROVES that you are what you are. If I were a reformed alcoholic, I wouldn't seek out abuse victims of alcoholics and denigrate them, I would be putting my energy into quitting drinking for my own good, and for the good of those around me. So here comes the hard question, why aren't you? The very fact that you are HERE in this forum, replying angrily to THIS post, trying to discredit what I say or who I am, illustrates the self centred nature, the unwillingness to reform, the fact that it's "everyone else" that is the problem, and your anger towards those that don't tolerate your behavior, demonstrates WHY treatment options are so limited. Of course, you could prove me wrong by NOT replying at all, but I don't imagine that will be your first inclination.
To the VERY FEW of you that actually WANT to change, and work consistently on changing, and taking RESPONSIBILITY for your behavior instead of putting it on others to enforce boundaries that YOU should be enforcing for yourself....you've earned my respect, you have my respect, I believe that life can improve for you, and best of luck with that endeavor.
Et maintenant, le deluge.
Ummmm not all persons with bpd fit the same bill.....one like myself doesn’t “dominate” conversation.....I rarely get a word in.....I keep all thoughts to myself and internalize EVERYTHING.....which later causes me to explode when my anger boils over and can no longer be internalized....I know my triggers and what I shouldn’t do , to avoid hurting those around me (like drinking , which if I have been holding things in will result in an explosive episode) so plz don’t say “you people”.....sometimes I wish there was a way for people to experience what it’s like to have bpd for just one week.....more people would understand our very consistent struggles, and be less harsh about it , demonizing every person with bpd and making us all seem like such terrible people.
Talby you have issues greater than BPD
Too long. Didn't read.
I truly haven't read something this disgusting in a long time. It's like saying "racism isn't the problem, it's your skin color!" You are the reason we are so fearful of seeking help. You and all the other narrow-minded people who are so comforted by your narrow-mindedness, so much so that you'd never in a million years admit you are wrong because it would break your ego. So yeah buddy, the truth hurts.
@Umm Sabir Ansar I hope you get out..I'm praying.
Thanks ross I found this material helpful and informative, sadly after being falsely charged by a bpd woman for assault.better late than never I guess...
Don’t even try, that’s an act of insanity. RUN. AWAY.
The abuse and neglect my brother and I suffered left us dysfunctional.He became a drug addict.I became borderline and very isolated after my marriage failed.i am now remarried but war torn.My brother recently died and I was at his deathbed.He ask where our mother was and I had to tell him she wouldn't come.we are fatherless.When we were 1 and 2 years old She could not rise from bed to attend us and my little brother dumped a can of ajax on the kitchen floor.i kept climbing into her bed trying to wake her telling her mama mama Ricky did something...to no avail.So I climbed on a chair and got a dripping dishrag and tried to wipe the floor and it just got into a worse mess.Then her bf came home and saw it and spanked us both.I was horrified and traumatized.It is strange at his death bed it came full circle. He needed her and I was there...but this time we had a father God and I prayed at his deathbed for him in Jesus Christ!!! God knows how badly we were neglected and it truly breaks His heart.We have a Father forever now.He knows.....
Wow... I was just diagnosed with BPD...came on TH-cam to find info... it’s nice to find out that you think I’m only half a person... incredibly insightful...it’s amazing to me that you think your a professional... do you treat a lot of half people? Absolutely demeaning...
I was misdiagnosed for years, they thought I was bipolar but I'm BPD so I was put through hell with meds. I'm glad I found out what I have but that still doesn't help me I'm struggling so bad, as you can see by the date it's basically Christmas night and what do you know I have an episode of feeling like I just don't know my wife anymore and just because I find out something I didn't know from her past I feel like she has abandon me and I really don't know her and what's the point of my existence and it's so intense that it pounds in my head and heart like a migraine. I can't handle every little thing being so intense. Please someone text back that knows what I mean I swear I'm trying to calm down but my brain doesn't let me let it go. I wish I could just stop. Don't want to be here!!!!!!!
****hugs**** 🙏🏾
I was misdiagnosed with BPD as a 13 yr old abuse survivor entering the foster system by a phycologist who wasn't very empathetic or concerned, I basically withheld myself from participation in this court ordered examination just to find out later that he may have done this intentionally to complicate me with other phycologists or mental health physicians because apparently people with this condition are hard to work with and are the least favored to treat. I was properly diagnosed years later with CPTSD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder but I sympathize with these people for having a disorder that is seemingly worse then mine in complex ways. I would just like to say, for the record, that treating one part of the general issue does not constitute victory of achievement, it creates more problems. It's not completing the job, in my opinion. It's disingenuous to the medical field to say you help people but you only help a certain group of choice, and from a singled out group who don't know no better. If your going to be effective at your trade, you need to understand the whole dynamics and apply your experience to both sides.
Can you come up with an emotion for that “emptiness” feeling? To me it is a mix between dread, extreme low self esteem, self hate, and depression, hopelessness, and despair.
There is no emotion to describe it. It feels like there is a hole in the pit of your stomach that never goes away. Like a glass without a bottom that cannot be filled no matter what you shove inside of it. Sadly, I'm not sure it's something that someone who's never experienced it will be able to understand because it isn't like any emotion that is normal to feel.
Here's the remedy for BPD:
"Everything that has ever happened to me was of my creation. I created a world of loneliness. I created separation. I created my reality. The kingdom of heaven is WITHIN me & I now choose to create love through daily thought & action. I choose to see the world as loving. I choose to see myself as worthy. I will use humor and laughter to combat fears & insecurities. My will is so strong for love, I daily speak it & visualize it. We are all connected. Any thought of evil will affect those around me. I either kill or heal with my very thoughts. My words either bless or curse. I choose to bless. I will heal for myself. And I will heal for others. All we have is each other."
I Drink spring water, give up unhealthy foods. If I, by chance, see ugliness in another human, I will consider where I have faltered. And I will crucify that part of my ego on the cross of self-importance...killing my ego for the sins I see in others.🌿...then will I rise again-renewed
thank you. so difficult to not blame. i will try and apply this daily
Up until just coming across this video, I thought I had an anxiety disorder, and about 6 years ago I was given the diagnosis of being bi-polar and ended up on 13 meds! Lost almost 2 years being a zombie and now I won't leave my home. Maybe this is what is going on because you described me to a tee!
Im in the wrong place. I’m convinced my 13 yr old step kid has this. I can’t stand him. He is manipulative explosive entitled little jerk who does severely abusive behaviors to other kids when he thinks he’s not being watched, yet he is devastated and expresses betrayal and huge hurt when I out him. He’s been in therapy for two years and has made little progress because he refuses to acknowledge he has a problem. It’s always everybody else’s fault.
The only adaptive strategy that I’ve found effective at shutting down abusive behavior is exposing him. I’ve made sure as many ppl in our community know about his mental illness and specifics about things he typically will do that are abusive to his peers. I’ve gone full fledged group home style in our home with locks, security cameras and other surveillance in order to block his abuse to other siblings.
I’ll never protect his privacy when it comes to the abusive sickening things he is capable of and has done.
I need to find ppl who can give advice on how to love or even like this despicable selfish scary kid and help my spouse to the best of my ability guide him to a better outcome, keep hope alive that it’s possible for him to ever even get there.
I’m looking at him now like a 5 yr project that I will not allow my spouse to get ruined by if he continues to stay stuck and not progress.
At 18 he’s going to get a shopping cart full of camping supplies, good luck wishes and GOODBYE at the rate he’s progressing.
very informative and interesting video, thank you for uploading it. i´m very informed about BPD myself as someone who was involved with a borderline. it was the worst experience of my life, but at least i´m learning about my own issues and flaws and trying hard to heal and fix them. can´t wait to see the rest of your videos about BPD.
Dr. Rosenberg your idea of two emotionally underdeveloped people having a intoxicating and then explosive relationship is sound and quite helpful for people with BPD like me.
However, when you call a person with BPD a half-person it is insulting. It is like calling an African-American person three-fifths of a person.
Please find a different way to express yourself. Thank you.
Jeff G The manner in which I use the term "half person" is described in this article: goo.gl/XhhPg9. The concept is not a qualitative term but quantitative. My intent is to talk about two emotionally underdeveloped people coming together into an enmeshed relationship in which individuality doesn't exist.
+lazerhaze Your own hateful slur is not helping your argument. Actually, your comment should deleted.
***** In short, yes. However, I am also a person who tries to stay close to his loving heart everyday so I can give everyone respect and compassion.
***** Looks like we agree to disagree. Take care.
***** haha lol. He's human too and can be wrong. Nobody needs any theraphy anyway. Ppl need to mate the ones who feel/think just loke them? So what if there is no individuality? Church and ppl dreamed about that kind of love for centuries"the 2 will became one". Nowadays many people START WITH SEX a relatinship, intense or mechanical. There are different ppl, no disorders. Nobody is a disorder unless commiting atrocities, crimes. In personal life ppl do how they can. Many ppl kill each other for money, religion, etc. That is disordered. Besides, not all humans want monogamous or lifeteme relationships. But good point! HALF PEOPLE seems pretty horrible. In my mind i already see a cut literally person :(((
After everything I've read about Borderline Personality Disorder, I've seen different aspects in all the women in my family. Howvever, I disagree that the borderline is anything like the sociopath. From what I understand, borderline personalities are usually co-dependent, always caregiving and trying to please. I am writing a book about borderlines and would really appreciate some light shed on the disorder. In a nutshell, I suspected borderline when I discovered my daughter was a cutter (self-mutilator) I began looking at my mother, who always had a problem with gambling, and my sister, who stole anything that wasn't nailed down. And my other sister, who could not function in a job because of stress. I considered myself borderline because I cannot handle stress. My mind turns to jelly. Recently, I was involved with a sociopath and taken on a very emotional journey. I was the giver, he was the taker... A Perfect train wreck. So now, I'm confused. Am I not a borderline???
Janet Sierzant if you are still researching you're book and wish to speak to a diagnosed BPD sufferer I am happy to help shed any light that may aid you. I've been borderline for my whole life and have been diagnosed for 5 years, and fighting to beat it for 8years. My experiences and dialogue may also help you with your own evaluation maybe?
Thank you for this video I'm watching it in 2023. Really thankful for it
As a 23 year old guy with BPD, I feel bad for everyone else with BPD watching this video because all this video seems to be doing is discouraging already discouraged borderlines. If you read the warning, this gentleman has no background in personality disorders and therefore, isn't the be all end all authority on this topic. The ups and downs of this disorders can be exhausting but there is hope for all of us if we decide we want to change. Here are some things that have helped me manage my BPD:
1. Prioritizing sleep, nutrition, and exercise (Sleep 8 Hrs, Eat Healthy lots of fats and protein, and train hard)
2. Learning to Calm your Nerves with Slow Paced Diaphragmatic Breathing (Exit Flight or Fight Mode)
3. Read Feeling Good by David Burns to improve at monitoring your negative thoughts (Cognitive distortions)
4. Gabor Matè is another great author that focuses on childhood trauma and addiction
5. Work on Being Kind and Compassionate to Your Self (Stop Self-Sabotaging)
6. Learn about BPD yourself to understand it and also help your family understand (if possible)
7. Increase self-awareness (or Mindfulness)
I hope this can help at least one person with BPD. I found out I had it last week and I also thought I was hopelessly crazy. But I am a little more hopeful since I've been lucky enough to find Dr. Fox's youtube Channel and he is very positive about BPD and has great videos going in depth about the disorder. I highly suggest if you have BPD or a loved one to watch his channel
I'm a absolute co dependent and been in a relationship with a borderline !!! I completely agree with your assessment.... It is exactly what happened with my situation...
When she discarded me I was left confused and devastated. She was telling me how serious she was about the relationship 2 days before that. There were a couple of issues that could have been resolved easily. The love bombing was so intense that I was completely blinded by it. I’ve never experienced such a euphoria in my life before.
@@anujdeo1528 yes , definitely....it's absolutely unbelievable !!!
@@anujdeo1528 Same here.. it doesn't make any sense to a normal person. How can one be 100% committed and then decide to never talk to you again a few days later.. it drives you insane. Took me a long time to get over it and I never heard another word from her. Completely refusing to have a conversation..
@@hgzmatt I had to cut all contact. And what I’ve learnt is it’s not completely their fault. It’s a 50-50 scenario. We HAVE to have strong boundaries and trust other people’s actions over the sweet talk. We project ourselves onto others that’s what makes us feel that they don’t mean harm. It’s been 4 months it still hurts like a bitch. But I can only crawl out the snake pit on my own. It is what it is!
@@anujdeo1528 You are lucky in that it was your decision. She refused to give me any closure and it took me months to understand what I'm dealing with. I have always taken responsibility for my part.. so much so that I blamed it all on myself at the beginning. I understand now that I couldn't win.. the game was rigged from the start.
I'm whats called a self-destruct BPD I've gotten help but There's no cure, no medicine for us. People hear we have BPD and they don't want nothing to with us they run away or just leave And that sets off all kinds of triggers. So I'm glad some doctors are spreading the word on BPD because I never want to hurt the few people I love but some times I split and it makes me feel like sh¡t afterwards And I know I can't take it back because the damage is already done.