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My ex wanted to argue but only on her turf ie. her apartment above her parent's crib. One time we were arguing over the dumbest thing and I had enough of it and I said "alright, I have to go this is going no where". I collected my shoes and left, no word to stop me or anything. Got in my car it was then she hit me up and said "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS???!!!!, THIS IS ABANDONMENT! THIS IS NOT OK!". I just didn't get into it. She hit me up later and said "Im bleeding everywhere, I harmed myself". Went over and sure enough, she was not bullshitting. This girl slit her fuckin wrist up good. Brought her to hospital and had to go talk to her mom alongside my mom. It was very uncomfortable.

sry for your loss

I had been in a similar situation where my ex-partner was creating these 'fake-problems' just to mess with me and keep me in control. Even though I solved a lot of problems there was always a new one because of me. Finally got rid of her, best thing I ever did !

BPD and covert narcissism is the equivalent to the Jezebel Spirit. Look at the two side by side. This is Biblical Scripture and warns us. I had all these similar experiences and even felt that I absorbed her condition and became infected myself. I didn’t feel like me. I was a shell of my former self. Sorry you went through this brother.

WOW, what you said really resonated with me, if they were raised by aholes, that's how they turn into aholes. That seems like a valid way to look at them.

I'm sorry for your pain. I don't really understand bpd entirely myself. It feels like you're your normal self, and then you suddenly get OVERWHELMED with insanely strong emotions, and because of that you become someone else. But I also often feel "disconnected" from myself as well, almost like the real me is numbed out, and my levels of empathy can be delayed. While in a rage, there is almost no empathy whatsoever. It feels like you are in the fight/flight mode and your body just knows it has to destroy the threat and that is all that matters, every other function shuts down. When I am not in a rage my moods are constantly fluctuating, and with those fluctuating moods comes fluctuating indentities. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and flooded with extreme guilt, pain, empathy. Other times I take pride in hurting others because they can't hurt me and I was raised by people with npd and aspd that took great pride in cruelty and sadism - my brain gets confused and thinks maybe that's the way I'm supposed to be, the way I should be. I think I'm faulty because I was taught that being good is bad, and bad is good. Like my empathy is some shameful, bad weakness. And when I did have empathy, it was always taken advantage of. I always felt like a fool for feeling empathy for them and letting them in again because I was duped everytime. One of my ways to cope with watching them take great pride in causing me agony was to do the same, but there was never any winning with them that way either because if you copied them you were the bad person and they were still innocent and perfect. If you didn't copy them, you were squashed down and suffocated and I would've just died if I stuck to always being nice or always being cruel, I couldn't ever be one thing. I had to be unpredictable to survive. The void inside them was so callous and constant, there was never any apologies or acknowledgement of what they really were or were doing, and there was never any escape and never any empathy, you are constantly at fault and you are pulled and ripped in every single direction because there is nothing that works to escape them or to please them, so you become completely disorganised and shatter into a million pieces to cope because that way they never know what to expect from you and can't really put a constant form of treatment or label on you as easily. I have many questions about bpd, some people say that the love and empathy we feel is not real even though we really do experience the emotions. Like, it's a "love delusion" we experience. And I've thought about that over and over and I don't think that is actually the case, at least not for me. I wonder what differences there are between different people with bpd as well as all other personality disorders. And I've also heard people say that we can often have a victim complex, which I think that can be true for some of us. For me I think part of it is I'm so confused and on guard and stuck in my pain that I become an abuser myself, but then I don't really know if that's the entire truth. It can be really hard to decipher when it actually is my fault and when it isn't because I've been gaslit my whole life from day one and told I was at fault when I wasn't. So now I'm completely confused and not sure when I am and when I'm not, and I constantly worry about people with npd, aspd, psychopathy and such finding me and using my disorder as a way to hide as the victim when actually, they are the master puppeteer. But then I'm like "well maybe that is my victim complex", but then at the same time if I say it's a victim complex then I'm invalidating and not acknowledging the truth that I really was abused, and it really wasn't my fault, so I'm really confused. I gaslight myself by telling myself it's my fault, but I gaslight others by telling them it's theirs. Everything is extremely confusing and a constant cycle of warped. Sometimes I do not know what anything is. Everything is upside down, inside out, and I just don't know. But at the same time I do. I just feel like I'm everything and nothing all at once but also no, that's not true. I know it has been proven that people with bpd can find recovery which is good, but it's a long journey, not some overnight fix. Years. Regardless I'm really sorry for what you went through, I don't entirely understand her every action because she clearly has her own unique reasoning and psychology but you definitely didn't deserve what you got.

I think that's true the we can thrive on chaos, but I do think that bpd's can take responsibility. I guess it is still an individual thing at the end of the day.

Pretty sure mine lied about her ex boyfriend being dead. She acted all sad all the time if he was ever brought up. Pretty convincing stuff. Later heard from one of her friends he was very much alive. When I confronted her over this she acted "shocked" that he could possibly still be alive and he must have faked his own death to get her to stay away from him lmao. Such BS

You should feel very proud of yourself, you Kick ass 👍

5 years on, how are you doing? 🫂

Hey brother , I didn't learn from 2018. I was with a quiet BPD then and I remember after watching your videos and then a few years went by and I totally forgot about her. NC contact is key, HOWEVER therapy is needed or it will happen again. it happened to me again, this time I was with a rager BPD and it easily almost destroyed my life. I'm getting weird nostalgia watching your vids again because I forgot about you as well and then re watching this series reminds me of what happened in 2018. only this time , much worse. I'm in therapy now and addressing my childhood wounds. we really are survivors after being with BPD women, it destroys your mental and emotional like no other. finally after 2 months of no contact I am feeling better, main keys NO CONTACT+THERAPY=HEALING.

I have PTSD because of what my ex put me through. I've been trying to find some sort of support group for victims of pwBPD and I can find nothing. What do I find? Video after video, page after page of BDPs claiming to be victims, wallowing in self-pity, making tee-hee jokes about the psycho shit they do to people, the pain and trauma they inflict on others every day of their lives. Even worse, getting support from Psychiatrists, who buy in to their bullshit, despite the fact that making up lies about abuse is part of their disease. Even worse, I thought my situation was somewhat unique when it turns out to be textbook for these people, even to the parts of my relationship I thought were good.

Finally someone tells it like it is. I just spent 33 months in jail without trial after I finally broke it off with my BPD ex and she falsely accused me of rape. I am still fighting this. The last 9 months of our 2 year relationship was nonstop abuse. I'd call the cops, they would do nothing. I'd try to show them video just taken, they'd threaten to arrest me. She was institutionalized twice during this period, no one cares. Everything on here is a pity party for these evil people. No one gives a shit about the pain they inflict on everyone foolish enough to love them. Thats all they care about and all they know how to do. I had a great life before I brought this woman into it. Just RUN!

My bpd ex would speak in code where she would just repeat phrases like “no go” or “good to go” and if I asked what she meant by it should would just repeat her catch phrase. She would build me up during the day and then a switch was flipped and she would tell she hates me, called me a bitch and a monster and a piece of shit. Completely unprovoked. Then the next morning would roll around and she would be wishing me a good day and telling me she loves me like she has no memory of the horrible things she said the night before. There’s no cure for bpd and there’s no living with it. It’ll kill you.

You're 100% right. No excuses for these monsters.

What a nasty human being! How can anyone hate an innocent dog? That is psychotic behavior! My sister has BPD, but, she has a conscience and I can’t imagine her lashing out at a dog. I think she had some extra issues going on there. Damn!

This makes me so upset. The way they manipulate people and lash out at innocent creatures like dogs is just wrong! They do know the difference between right and wrong and need to have consequences for their behavior. It’s never ok to abuse someone else, mental disorder or not. My sister has BPD and I have had to learn to put up boundaries with her. I no longer allow her to manipulate me. If she starts with her crap, I tell her to go to DBT and get help. They can get help but most refuse to admit they ever have a problem.

Looks like that took a lot of effort! Great job!

So I have BPD ...and most people who have BPD don't even know that they have a disorder, yet they do know something is wrong with them. I do feel for you and what you've been through, but not all people with BPD are monsters like you make them out to be .... Please consider this as well. And we don't all thrive off chaos....that's a HUGE stigmatization. We also definitely know how to take responsibility for our actions, and we feel tons of guilt for our wrong doings. Most people with BPD actually self harm and take out our emotions on ourselves, instead of others. I'm sorry that you had a bad experience with someone who had BOTH BPD and NPD. But please don't write off people with mental illness just because you had one bad experience. We are people too and imagine how hard it is for someone who doesn't even know they have a personality disorder like this. Thank you.

I know I am late to the game responding here. I recently experienced almost the same thing you did with a BPD, and It has undoubtably been the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life. Love bombs, constantly testing my boundaries, endless drama and negativity, suicide threats, fear of abandonment, etc. I had no idea what was going on until it was over and I reflected like you did. I was discarded, but my exe kept communicating with me, feeding me "breadcrumbs." Like you, I went in healthy and came out a complete shadow of myself and a wreck. It was almost like my self-worth was on a constant drain until I got to the point where I was a mess inside and out. I hope you're doing better, and you've regained your self-worth and self-esteem, man. You deserve much more. Anyone who was experienced this does.

Yes wth me 26 years..🤗 I can understand ur story.. Its ds Life coaches on narc survivor on U tube who really make one see d truth abt everything .. I follow Now Lee Hammock tiktok videos too good . Narc survivour . Exposing the narcisist Enlighted Target Michelle Lee Anoushka from Balance pschyologies Kim Saee Hario I hear alll 7 of dem since 2019 & has helped in my healing journey .. All d dark secrets dey have exposed abt d narcisist already done, doing, & gonna do..is so so true ..its as if God is exposing d secret things & D Hidden truth😝🤑🤗

Man you're such a nice guy I really want to have a beer with. I am in a similar boat, emotionally.

Good shit, keep up the good work.

Lol they always start these snooping around messages the same: “You probably don’t want to hear from me…” Yeah you must be a mind reader I don’t!

I feel so bad .I loved this guy with all my heart .he messed me up big time .he lied to me ,manipulated me ,gaslighted ,insulted me and all I ever did was love him..anytime i try and leave him he would change his ways manipulate me back into the relationship and the worst part I always took him back ..its been five months now no talking .I have been so happy but sometimes like today I just weep .I don't want him back ever .the memories kill me sometimes .why do I still care for someone who never cared for my feelings? I wish I never meet you .

Thank you so much! You describe very similar experiences to mine. And that really helps to hear. The illogical arguments, emotional outbursts, insults, manipulation, sleep deprivation, drama, intense rage and everything else made me question my sanity. It took a long time to step back and be able to convince myself, it has nothing to do with me. I could just be calm and not get sucked into it. Easier said than done though. Hope things are good with you now!

Thank you for sharing I’m hitting that 5 month mark and I still feel devastated. I had my good days and bad days however lately it’s been bad. I think I still can’t believe how easy it was to discard me like trash. I never thought he could hurt me like that. I didn’t even think he was capable of it. We had a two-year friendship prior to getting into a relationship. I can’t even be in shock anymore. He’s moved on and it hurts to the core! this healing process is taking so long. I pray every day and I feel like nothing is happening but I hope I’m wrong. I hope I can find the strength that you found with family and friends. Stay strong thank you for your motivational story.

After a BPD relationship, you can take like a 5 year monogamy break. Like minimum, it's not about thinking all women are bad, it's personal burnout. The best women still require your time, a BPD mentality drains you of years.

When you talk about her reaction to the dog in the camera view, and how she felt neglected or upset by the dog. Its as though the dog is in a love triangle with you both and she feels threatened by this. My experience was where my partner with bpd created a scenario that didnt happen and then she explained it to me and blamed me for this imaginary scene in her head, and you are literally stood there saying WTF. How these types of people can create such nonsense is incredible. I was accused of so much stuff that never happened that bordered on the ridiculous. Even Hollywoods best script writers could not create the stuff I experienced.

Absolutely true about the chaos. Without it they cant function.

The borderline grin when you are feeling pain is a dead giveaway

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Low key, she sounds as ASPD as she does BPD. Either that or she's an extreme low functioning BPD. I bet she was smoking hot though. They always are the craziest ones

She didn't like the dog cause your dog isn't codependent and wouldn't play into it. My faith tells me that your dog likely observed said behaviors of hers and is now 100% MGTOW

She was out to destroy you thats how there programmed, your lucky to be free of her, BPD cannot love and will only use you and cause you pain and they take pleasure in your pain..........

10:15 I needed to hear that... thank you. Watching u is therapeutic for me.

4:55 😂😂😂😂😂 I’m sorry but that was hilarious cuz of my own experiences lmfao “you failed at parenting” I’m deadddddd

Three years of being with somebody who was a BPD/NPD. The blame shifting, gas lighting, verbal/physical abuse, total lack of responsibility, manipulation, need for CONTROL, constantly arguing, conversations never reaching a satisfying conclusion for both parties, lack of apologies or taking action to change the admitted behaviors, the spinning narratives constantly, the guilt trips, the obsession/center focus of hate on a specific person/thing, the rage and outbursts for something seemingly meaningless, the hypocrisy and double standards, the ability to treat u like literal dog shit but won’t tolerate the slightest bit of attitude, the constant projecting, the suicidal behavior if u threaten to leave, emotional immaturity, total lack of self awareness and EMPATHY, the bottomless pit of what u can do for them but never does anything for u, feels like they use your emotional reactions as fuel almost. Aw man I could go for days and even then its like you’re only just scratching the surface. I feel for U so much my brother. It’s been 4 years and I hope you’ve recovered.

Aw man I feel every single word you’re saying. I am living in your shoes holy shit.

You fell in love with yourself. They mirror you.

I think the hardest, most devastating part of it all, is that you'll never fully forget them. You'll miss the "good" parts of them, the good memories, the person that they were when you met them. It sticks to you, always haunting you cause you'll never know why they did what they did, the fact that you can never get closure. It's something you'll always carry with you, even into future relationships.

not all bpd's are like this im bpd but im also getting help, your dealing with someone who isnt ready to get help run. p.s. been in a wonderful relationship for 13 years it wasnt that good at first cause i didnt even know what was wrong now im in dbt therapy and getting better. and we can take responsibility not all but some of us do.

i think it points to a healthier character and self image the less amount of time it takes to have the realizations and gtfo of one of these toxic relationships - HT

Best to run. I wish someone would have warned me. 30 year married to a BPD wife. What a rollercoaster wow. She just left me, I think I have to let her go. Great times and really rough times. More rough than good at this point. Over 10 suicide attempts a life time of wondering if she will be breathing when I get home. I have so much invested in us its hard to walk away. Thanks for the video

My wife wants a divorce after 5 yrs and two beautiful kids. She is the only one in the house unhappy and at the snap of a finger she has decided she is done. But I can't give up on my kids. They will need me to love them for who they are. Not who they "should" be.

Hope you are doing better. Mine ex moved out in February out of the blue. She has moved onto someone new, which I predicted. She suddenly hated my dogs too. So weird.

This is an old video but thanks I relate a lot. I recognize that haggard & drained look. That early “spark” is because they pretend to be into all the things you’re into, they mirror you. That’s always the first red flag. This & the lovebombing is all to hook you in & secure the supply. It’s not long before you become the bad guy who is never there enough, never attentive enough, never enough & those interests you supposedly shared are soon denigrated & the abuse begins. Before you know it your whole life revolves around them & trying to avoid their Hulk-out rages & Imma-kill-myselves. I’ll bet she had a bunch of woe-is-me tales of past relationships too where she was always the victim when the reality was mostly the opposite & she drove some so nuts they dished it back. They “fear abandonment”, but they’re such black holes that they create a self-fulfilling prophecy where one HAS to abandon them to save their sanity. No contact is the way to go. My BPD ex still tries to contact me YEARS later like I should be glad to hear from her, like she didn’t put me through an 18-month reign of terror. I have to keep blocking her lol. Unbefuckinglievable

I'm 6 months out of a relationship with someone like this and still struggling with not blaming myself. It's a total and complete mind fuck. I can't even imagine what she's done in 6 months to other people or with other people.

Crazy watching videos on this shit that came out before I even met her.. Damn if I was only more informed before getting into it I wouldn’t be where I am now. But fuck it.. Lesson learnt and I ain’t ever getting fooled twice

Pretty intensive. I was with bordeline for 3,5y but she's quiet bordeline. I know about her problems (not about bordeline at start) so I helped her to stop cut herself and showed borders. But it was exhausting. Mostly for my free time and work. I tried to breakup with her 1,5y ago but she said: I'll commit suicide by stabing myself by knife in belly. 4 months ago she breakup with me and now there is a brand new victim (I'm not religious but praying for him). I avoided the bullet (or few) when I danced with a sweet, beautiful and wonderful devil. Will be betetter. Always is.