I've had lots of those symptoms too in life, and was abused as a child. I can say, it DOES get better. Typically people with BPD also do mellow out in their 30s and 40s. I'm 30 now and I show almost none of those signs of instability anymore. Also, people need to know that BPD ususually comes from childhood trauma anx/or abuse. It DOES get better!!!!
I 100% empathize with and love my sibling with BPD, and I think this video is so honest, but it's important to have accountability as well. Pain from harm done with no bad intentions hurts the same as if it's done with bad intentions. If the person with BPD is able to get help, therapy, medication, and truly do the work and stick with it, they deserve every second third and 100th chance in the world - but with caution. Now as an adult I know at which point I need to walk away and reconnect with my sibling later on, but it doesn't heal the trauma from growing up with beatings, insults, and constant angry outbursts, interspersed with love and friendship and fun. I had both the best sibling and the worst one, and they were the same person. These relationships can be very hard and traumatizing. Now as adults I can say we have a great relationship and are friends, as I have dealt with my trauma and them with theirs. But if you have BPD, please don't sweep under the rug the pain of those in your life due to your good intentions or lack of control. No disorder is an excuse to abuse others, and the sooner you are able to comprehend that, the sooner you'll be able to build strong relationships.
Lol! This is the funniest thing I have seen all day. Try looking up NVC (non-violent communication) strategies. Helpful strategy to take the habitual judgement out of the language patterns we inherit from our culture.
As an almost middle aged person who’s lived with BPD my whole life, we have to learn to cope with emotions on our own and not subject our loved ones to the extremes we experience. We can do this by changing our reaction behavior every time we are triggered until over time it becomes the default way we react. I learned to separate myself from loved ones when I’m splitting. Found value and self worth in how capable I am to love, be present and have empathy for others. It is truly unique! I Learned to never abandon myself by strengthening my personal boundaries and holding people accountable for treating me kindly. Always treating others with kindness to set the standard that is healthiest and the least triggering for me. When you want to lash out, please consider not validating the stigmatization about us. We are the ones we must never abandon. We are the ones we must always favor and love in the amazing way that we do. You can do it! One day at a time. Don’t give up. It gets easier to do over time.
@@88yaz88 It warms my heart that you found this message helpful. Learning about BPD, it’s symptoms and defining characteristics is useful to understand where we need to focus our healing. For example the core difference between us those with out BPD is our fleeting or lacking sense of self. That’s what makes us need others and create unhealthy attachments. We have to create our own sense of self and hold it down no matter who we are close to at any time. It’s a life times work in progress but like I said, it gets easier to do over time. Eventually people notice how good we are at loving ourselves and it’s inspiring to them. Let’s use our trauma to change the cycle of abuse that caused it. I have a list of values I follow everyday I’m happy to share: Defend happiness- when we are feeling defensive are we defending something that causes unhappiness? If so find the happiness and defend that instead. Love is always greater than fear, love enables choice always, choose love in all your actions- we will always defeat fear with love. Nothing is stronger than Love! We should never act upon feelings of fear or we will loose. We are not loving if we don’t enable choice. If someone want to go we support them to leave to be truly loving and un defeat able. In the face of loss, we can always find things to be grateful for- nothing is permanent so we have to accept that, and be grateful for the time we had. Trust that there will be more to come and be ready to continue that cycle of gain and loss.
as a male with BPD, I'm instantly seen as abusive and manipulative when really, all I want is my person to love me and listen to me like my parents never did, even when I'm angry and upset. Every day life is a struggle trying to not associate my past traumas with the present and it puts me in a spiral of self-loathing depression and extreme anxiety at the same time. I wish the world would finally realize that mental illness isn't something people with it can help sometimes.
its gotta be hard as a male with BPD bruh, i know we dont know eachother but you are enough and worthy of love. Focus on getting yo money, mind and body up g fr
"Nothing you ever feel is wrong. You feel that way for a reason and it's important to understand that reason." I love this quote. It's something I think I've been aware of but haven't been able to phrase.
@@felipefioravanti6690 For me it's a way of examining my thought processes and where certain maladaptive behavioral patterns come from. When someone expresses fondness of me and wants to be my friend I have the urge to demonize them and push them away. If I ignore that feeling I don't fix it. If I examine why I'll realize I have deep trust issues stemming from my childhood. That's my interpretation anyways.
"I would rather never love anybody or have anybody love me than be abandoned" I strongly concur. I live with BPD as well and it is not easy to let in and receive love knowing that people can always change their minds and leave. The leaving is the fear realized and it is excruciatingly painful. The deep penetrating feelings of unworthiness are so true. There are a few things she shared that really hit home and I agree that grounding the person with validation and for me physical touch (bear hug) is healing and reassuring. I'm an introvert so my self harm is mostly internal through many extremes such as starvation or binge eating, hateful thoughts of myself and hateful self talk. Only sometimes do I hit, pinch ,scratch or pull my hair. Overall I can really related to her experiences and pray only the best for her.
are there different forms of bpd? I feel like I can be set off very easily some days, but not so much on others and when I do get angry, it is also so intense that I don't know what to do and it feels like it's on my skin (she put it perfectly). I start hurting my girlfriend and hating myself but I don't slef harm, although I always want to and think about it... but I don't know if I truly have bpd because it is not as severe as it is for her or others
She seems very sweet and self-reflective! I hope she knows she's beautiful and not at all washed out looking. And I hope she's able to surround herself with good people who have patience and understanding for what she goes through. I'm sure anyone would be lucky to have her as a friend.
Awe, I have BPD. This is so nice. Like I know it's not even to me but I WISH I had someone like you in my life. Or even have some say something like that ever. I truly have one friend. My husband. My mom. And that's literally it. Where are the other people like you girl!? I'm trying to find me some lol
I work at a mental health ward as a mental health caretaker and I find these videos informative and contextually valuable for my work. The challanges and ways of coping with symptoms and expressed behaviour that are described by people diagnosed with these conditions influence the way I relate to and care for patients in my profession.
My mom is a caregiver and I send her SBSK all the time and she uses these videos to teach the people around her about the perceptions of her clients and it is EVER so helpful
Caring for others biologically primed to manipulate, psychically abuse and mentally abuse others is like placing your head in the jaws of a lion and saying play nice.
@@heresjohnny602someone has to do it. If someone is committed are they just supposed to be left there for life or what lol. Obviously you’re really pissed about this subject but that’s their job.
As someone thats been living with BPD for 30 years, with patience and understanding from those close to you, meditation and mindfulness activities, it does get better. I still have episodes, but now recognize them as such and know they arent my permanent truth.
Mindfulness meditation needs better marketing because it is something that everyone can benefit from on the same order of magnitude that exercise helps folks
meditation has helped me beyond what I thought possible for my own emotional trauma, still working at it sometimes, but it definitely gets better and better. May we all be kind and helpful to eachother and learn how to embrace each other's pain with gentleness and equanimity and skill fullness. Thich nhat hanh's videos have helped me a lot too
I used to have borderline traits from c-ptsd (got better with a lot of counseling, work, support etc). I feel like the needing validation for your emotions before anything else makes sense with how BPD usually originates from early attachment trauma where our caregivers didn't consistently recognize and mirror back our emotions. It's kind of slowly replacing those early experiences with new ones where you're seen.
I have some suspicion that I may have bpd as well as cptsd. Or as you said cptsd with traits of bpd. How did you guys overcome going to therapy ? For some reason that is my biggest fear , I’ve looked into options online because speaking in front of someone about everything and how I’ve felt like this my entire life is a bit nerving.
@@frochaa I was feeling so desperate by the time I went to counseling that it was sort of that or death, but I would not recommend waiting til that point as a way to get yourself over the hurdle! Online seems like it could be a good way to ease yourself in. I’ve heard there are various options for how you communicate with counselors over an online platform- some will do phone without video or even instant-message if you’d rather type than speak.
Never liked the phrase 'they're just doing it to get attention' applied to any sort of self-harm or threat of self-harm, whatever the underlying mental state might be. As if there's something wrong with a human being in distress wanting attention anyways. We tell people knowing they have a problem is the first step to a solution, and then if somebody shows up with a problem, we invalidate them. You don't want people to self-harm, but you do want them to want attention if they're driven to self-harm, that's the last thing you want stigmatized, you don't want to find out too late and everybody's left standing around saying 'but they seemed so happy, I had no idea.'
My ex had this but she left me. She was so beautiful we had a deep connection and I still love her so much. Our breakup was sudden, she just decided one day that she didn't want to be inlove with me anymore. I could see how she struggled, I gave her all the love in the world, she couldn't accept it, she tried so hard too and I love her so much for that. Man life's unfair I just wish I could go back in time and stop the people that hurt her. I didn't want to research bpsd while with my ex because I didn't want to see her or treat her differently based on her condition, I tried separating her from it but now I wish I understood more whilst with her. Life goes On I wish it went on with her but it's not. All I can do is send her all the love in the world and hope she lives a good life.
When I was at mental hospital at 15 for 3 months I developed a close friendship with a 17 year old girl with BPD (and OCD). She definitely had her anger outbursts from time to time but it didn’t really affect me because I knew it was nothing personal or intentional but of course if someone is affected by behavior like that, that’s valid too. But for me it wasn’t too bad. I have had angry outbursts like that when I had really bad agitated depression before. I once broke a glass window by banging my head during meltdowns so I think I can really understand what it’s like to have all those feelings inside of you that you don’t know what to do with. She was one of the sweetest, most empathetic, caring, attentive, bubbly and loving people I’ve ever met. I still think about her from time to time. So for anyone with BPD, know that there are many people who don’t just see your for your BPD.
Thank you for addressing borderline. She nailed it when describing it. I'm 47 and have lived with borderline all my life. I've been in intense therapy for years and have just recently gotten to where my emotions and behaviors are at a level that is more appropriate for an adult. I still struggle with borderline and probably will for the rest of my life but I've made progress and those with borderline need to know that they are special, precious, loving, sensitive, and amazing people!
Thank you so much for this. Before I was diagnosed with BPD I honestly thought I was either cursed or just losing my mind. It does help to hear that people experience the same deep dark struggles. That dark well is so dark and lonely and miserable. Also thank you so much for adding the part about manipulation. It's hard to explain that you're not trying to be a manipulative narcissist, you feel like you're spinning out of control and grasping at anything to just keep your head above water.
"I would rather never love anybody or have anybody love me than be abandoned"..This. THIS is how I would describe my bpd in one sentence. It's also the cruelest aspect of bpd for me. I feel emotions and love SO deeply that it hurts. I've tried to be a normal person but as soon as I start to get close to someone, the panic takes over, and I self sabotage. If I pursue a meaningful, emotional connection, then I will be suicidal WHEN they abandon me. So I don't do relationships. This means a life of solitude, but at least I won't have to experience that agony
I see a brave beautiful young lady who despite has the label the world gives her opens her heart and life to others and tries to live a loving life. As a person who is also going through mental health issues, I get strength from her and I am more willing to accept who I am. Thank you!
Best Grounding Method I have found ... my framily mom taught it to me and walked me through it when I started having panic attacks: 5 things you can see 4 things you can hear 3 things you can feel 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste all things must be in the physical world. By the end I am so much better
I have a BPD parent, and unfortunately, many people with it refuse the diagnosis (like said parent). So lovely to see someone who accepts where they are and are trying to change. Ironically, my parent’s fear of abandonment forced me to abandon them, as the coexistent covert narcissism is toxic. But self-awareness is 90 percent of the process of change. If you see that you need improvement, you’re way better than most.
I left a 17-year marriage with a Borderline sufferer that resulted in moderate to severe CPTSD for myself. It took years to understand what I had been through, and while I have grown in my empathy & compassion it is also important that , as with other emotional and mental illnesses, the collateral damage can extend well beyond the diagnosed person.
I find it hard to trust my emotions when things set me off because idk if I'm over reacting to situations and its really frustrating not knowing how to respond.
Always honor how you feel in that moment, but if you can process it first and then when you come back to centre you can reevaluate... Of course in the middle of a conversation not always possible before reacting but if you start to validate yourself with what you feel you learn to reparent yourself and over time you heal and may be less reactive.
My partner has bpd and struggles with this as well. His solution is to excuse himself and go meditate whenever he feels a lot of emotion. He meditates and has a moment to think things through. Then when he’s ready, he’ll go back to the situation and respond with a clearer head and feels more confident response. I hope this helps
I have BPD too. as well as ptsd, adhd, and panic attacks. I have so so much in common with this girl. and thank you for talking about the stigma of having BPD. we are not horrible people. we just FEEL so so so intensely
Most girls do. Why do you think most American women are relatively broken compared to the rest of the world given this is a first world nation? I’d love to know your opinion, with a lot of emphasis on the word opinion since your emotions do make your opinion facts just because you feel they do fyi. oh btw and I’m not trying to act condescending or trying to belittle you this is just my tone so don’t gas light anyone please
@@internettrihard2955 you might want to reword your statement if you really want an answer to that question. The statement about opinions not being facts doesn't even need to be said, it's obvious, and the point that you even said it, is incredibly invalidating. Why would anyone answer your question when you've invalidated their emotions / their answer before they even answer? Especially BPD, your comments are very triggering to people with that condition. I'm going to assume that you don't realize that, ...so here's my advice: a good way to tell if your comment is inappropriate, is if you have to state that you hope it's not condescending. In any case, I do honestly hope you have a wonderful day, take care. :)
Yeah you're not horrible people by default. But your behaviour is generally horrible if you don't actively seek treatment. Everyone with BPD should be encouraged to seek treatment.
I see the conflict that the BPD sufferer will have when they *know* they are being extreme, and they *know* that the extremeness pushes people away, which amplifies the feeling of abandonment. I think communication is key here, so that the other person knows that there is self-awareness, might de-escalate the feedback loop. The awareness of the 'unreasonable emotions' was also something I didn't realise, learnt something today.
Wow. This was such an amazing episode. I have bpd and everything she said is so true. It’s so embarrassing when I “snap out of” an episode. When I’m hurting I lash out in such awful ways like self harm and then I push everyone away from me before they can leave me and then I’m so upset that im all alone in the world even though I did it. It’s such an exhausting disorder.
The woman interviewed said after she has acted out she then tries to fix it. What I’ve noticed with my daughter is she never tries to fix it. Has never apologized nor explained how she feels and what she needs from people. No accountability. Have you found that is something that comes with maturity?
@@rhondas3017 I found as you mature people don't apologize. You can but they are not going to accept it so what's the point? You are the bad guy always.
@@rhondas3017 honestly, it just sounds like to me that she’s embarrassed. whilst im not professionally diagnosed with bpd i’ve exerted all of the symptoms since i was 13, and i know from personal experience and research i’ve done that whenever i lash out or have some sort of breakdown, immense amount of embarrassment, guilt, and disgust i have for myself and the things i’ve done is unimaginable and i never want to face that person again or even think about what i’ve done. so i just try to forget it instead if holding accountability and apologising. extremely harmful and toxic i know, but i’ve seen that its very common amongst people with cluster b disorders. she’s probably just extremely embarrassed and disgusted with herself
@@rhondas3017 as you grow older and learn healthy coping mechanisms as you become more self aware, you begin to realize how your actions have affected someone. In this case I would say your daughter is either not self aware or is embarrassed by her actions so it’s hard for her to apologize because she is ashamed of the way she acted because she knows it was wrong. I would recommend sitting down with her and having a heart to heart and tell her you’re always there for her and as long as she learns to apologize and become self aware, that there’s always a way to communicate and help. Show her unconditional love and support and help her learn to communicate without blaming her or shaming her. Thank you for wanting to know more and wanting to better your relationship with your daughter
Hannah, thank you so much for your vulnerability. Putting yourself out there on the internet and being open about your deepest struggles is heroic in my opinion and you have impacted so many people with this video. I have ADHD and a lot of BPD traits and this felt so validating to watch. Thank you a million times :)
A lot of times with myself I will be so afraid of someone abandoning me that I will push them away or not allow them to get close to me because then if they do leave it hurts a tiny bit less. But yeah that push pull is what makes relationships hard with BPD. Also the self destructive tendencies sure don't help any other BPD symptoms lol.
Your comment resonates so much with me. I ended a 7month relationship last week during one of my 'episodes' when he was going out to a social event. The feelings of abandonment and rejection had been building up all day. As he was going I totally lost it, although a part of me did know I was being irrational. Looking back , if he had hugged me or reassured me there might have been a different outcome. I feel like sending him this video so he understands why I acted like I did. But I wont because of the fear of rejection.
@@sharonrose4 if you really like this person, I'd say send it. If you already ended it then what do you have to lose? If they accept it then that's amazing, if they don then that's just more confirmation you did the right thing. In my opinion. Anyway.
Well......update. I contacted him by messaging, explained BPD, told him I have been watching videos and apologised for my behaviour. Ended with 'no pressure to reply'. Well he replied immediately and in a positive manner. We have been messaging for 3days now and it remains positive. So who knows?? But thanks again for your suggestion! Hope things work out for you too in the future. Knowing our issues means we can work on them 👍🤗🌹
I live with BPD everyday and it’s been one heck of a roller coaster; I’ve been following SBSK for years now and I’ve purposely avoided this video until now...because I’ve always had a hard time hearing about “myself”...but you nailed this interview girl, right on! Thanks for breaking it down in the best way possible for other people to understand! PS- I have the same exact necklace you have (the shortest one you’re wearing) except mine came on a chain with a little word charm hanging beside it, and it says courage...which is exactly what this video, that necklace, and you are giving me and all people with BPD!
I am extremly glad your comments are back, you truly deserve this and I will start to re-watch your videos just so I can enjoy some beautiful comments after
I remember watching this interview a year ago and related to it so much but denied the fact I had BPD, for many different reasons. But now I’m diagnosed and everything feels a lot more clear and I understand myself much more now and am able to get the proper help I need. Thank you for making these videos because they really reach out to people and help them identify traits for themselves or others and how to approach these types of things 💕
what she said about only being able to calm down when she comes down from a 100 level until it goes down and when someone says "Woah chill out" is 100% relatable I don't have BPD but I do have autism and is completely and physically impossible to control feelings and to "chill out" it upsets me when people say it because we want to "chill out" and we are trying to and sometimes beyond our best but we still can't control it and other people just don't see how hard we are trying and we prob are trying hard then they want us to. ur not alone we totally understand u ❤
This interview was wonderful. I am studying in the mental health field and have multiple close friends with diagnosed with BPD. She has tremendous clarity and self awareness. And I liked her metaphor about the car, really good explanation. I hope she learns there are people out there who will understand and support her, especially if she can continue being honest and open 💓
My wife had impulsive bpd for most of her adult life. She went on to make a full recovery using bpd therapy, combined with my home brew methodology based on entraining. We found perfect peace and a bond that most people won't even dream of. 🙏
Hannah, you are absolutely beautiful! And the way you describe BPD is so SPOT ON! I'm proud of you for having the strength to share this on video because I know it has helped more people than you know realize they may have it, or learn how to cope with it better. You are amazing!
I was diagnosed at University when studying to be a psychologist. The psychiatrist in his diagnosis expressed concern at my choice of profession. I ripped his diagnosis up and carried on. I went on to work with abused traumatised adults and children. My BDP gave me the gift of knowing and understanding my clients and having ‘unconditional positive regard’ for each and every one. I grew to love, appreciate and understand my condition and see it as a gift in order to support my clients to achieve their own potential. I would never give up my BPD it’s my drive, my passion and my source of love. I control it, it no longer controls me.
If you have a link to your business it might be appropriate to share it. There seem to be a lot of people with BPD in the comments, and they might be well disposed toward talking to a psychologist who truly understands what they go through.
My girlfriend has BPD. I can empathise with everything she is saying. It's like any other relationship, about love, patience and coping with each other. The important part is when they go in "episodes" is to understand it's coming from deep and mostly very painful trauma and like she said, that it's nothing personal. Obviously the intensity can make it feel that way. Perhaps you need a stronger backbone once and while but for me it's totally worth the love i get in return. :p And to be honest i have characteristics myself. Some say it's impossible. But it's really all about the right communication and allowing space at the right times. The second one especially to avoid major drama! The first one to come out the drama in peace and love. In the end we just love and protect each other and that's all that matters. :)
This comment means so much to me as i've been speaking to someone whos recently been diagnosed with BPD. We've only been speaking for two months but theres something about her i find so special and hope to grow something out of. I've only seen and felt what feels like the tip of the iceberg when it comes to her bad days, but even then when shes not having a bad day she's one of the sweetest people I know. To hear you say this makes me feel better in knowing that it will be hard but worth it, because honestly I can see myself feeling that exact way.
Thank you for writing this out and btw you're f. awesome 👌 I'm diagnosed, my partner is incredible with me and you have no idea how well timed reading your comment was. Needed it, thank you✌🌻
Not only do these videos educate us about the different conditions and disorders, but through Chris, they also teach us how to appropriately treat and respond to people suffering from these conditions. If I meet someone suffering from a certain condition, I may be afraid to hurt their feelings in any way, unintentionally of course. I learned that if you struggle to make the appropriate response, you always ask them first what to say or what to do for them or if they need help. Like when Chris asked her: "what would be the appropriate way for me to respond to that?" I find it interesting that he asked. This taught me something.
I love this channel. It's really important to shed light on things like bpd. It's a very destructive thing to live with, but finally seeing more people open up about it is refreshing.
This made me cry. I cant even express how awful abandonement makes one feel. I was once told that I am an addict, not to drugs but to people. I had a continuous week long panic attack so bad just existing was painful during my last breakup. Relationships are so anxiety inducing and the whiplash of feeling high from love to pushing people away in fear to feeling abandonded and feeling like I simply can't live without them is so painful. Its for the betterment of myself and others that I just never get close to anyone else again.
Loved her answer to chill out… it’s all you want and you can’t , until you ride out the feeling. you don’t understand why others aren’t feeling how you feel in the moment. Why they disagree with your reaction or emotion but you do come down and realize the situation and your response was extreme
I didn't know people with bpd were perceived as manipulative. That would make it harder to receive grounding kindness from the people around you when they're feeling bad. Which is what they need in that moment of extreme feeling, which I imagine is real uncomfortable.
Yes we are, and it’s extremely frustrating. When we’re being ‘manipulative’, we do not see it that way. But people assume that we do and are manipulative out of malice as opposed to unconscious internal abandonment issues.
@@skyofthelivingdead how can you not see it that way you know when your being manipulative mabye you should deal with fear of abandonment I know when I am manipulating someone you have to have a conscious reality of it
yes and they can be dangerous too Jodi arias was bpd and look what she did people with this disorder will do anything and everything to manipulate someone
I have bpd and everything she said is me to a t it was crazy listening to her because i was hearing myself my wish is that everyone could understand what bpd is and how we try so hard to control it but sometimes it is very hard
ive watched this video at least five times at this point, and it has helped a lot to understand my conditions and what i go through on a regular basis and im glad i can finally leave a comment to thank you guys for it. having someone else speak about it in such a open way helped me so much to understand that im not necessarily a bad person, im just someone who needs some help. thanks hannah and thanks chris.
Breaks my heart. You’re so beautiful. I totally get the fear of abandonment, I have lots of childhood trauma. Being validated is so important, I’m just realizing now at 48 years old just how important it feels. Can’t imagine health officials not wanting to help. I really hope you can get the help you need. 🌸🌸🌸
The reckless driving really shook me! I wish her all the best and to get better, but I don't think she should be allowed to drive - she mentioned this as being self harm, but being reckless behind the wheel is also very dangerous towards pedestrians and other drivers.
What a beautiful human being. Thank you for sharing your story, undoubtedly it’s going to help so many people. I have been struggling with how to help someone with BPD, and you’ve helped me to understand some of the mystery. ❤️
This young woman is so honest and self-aware. I really respect how much she has shared with us!! I hope she’s doing really well. I have a relative who exhibits all of the signs of BPD. She has never been diagnosed. She has also never been honest about her struggles. Instead she mistreats people and then tries to pretend that it never happened. Because of this, I used to think that it wasn’t possible for BPD people to have that kind of self awareness, but this interviewee proved me wrong!!
I really hope Hannah is doing well. I wish I could meet her and become friends because she seems so sweet and kind. Mental health issues are such a struggle and I can relate to a lot of what she shared.
I honestly think relying on our emotions as truth can be a bit deceiving. They aren’t always accurate or rational. Be surprised at how, even the slightest shift in thought, can impact our emotions. Sometimes we can’t help how we feel, but SOMETIME we can! We should ALWAYS try to help ourselves though. Self awareness is key. One little positive thought can be enough to change the course of our emotions. The more you flex that muscle, the easier it gets! The mind has the power to choose happiness! Getting ourselves to choose it is the hard part.
I am so grateful to come back to this channel and see all of the thoughtful and supportive comments especially on an episode like this. Thank you so much everyone.
My daughter has BPD. I really appreciate this episode. I'm so proud to be a Patreon supporter of this channel. I feel like the messages that are spread are SO very important for people to understand.
Hi. I am also diagnosed with BPD for about 15 years now. And this video was spot on. It was nice to see her explain what its like. She was right on point with everything. I'm just in tears. "When I love, I love hard".
It's true, people with BPD are SO passionate. I think what gets a lot of people with BPD in trouble is that they can get in their own feelings so much that they end up behaving in a way that their partner perceives as unloving.
@@SmallFry900 yeah right now I'm dealing with a ton of suicidal ideation. I am in a hospital but it just makes it worse. The loneliest people commit suicide. And I feel like the loneliest person in the world right now.
your not a bad person if you have to end a friendship with someone with an mental illness people with bpd etc can be extremely difficult and your health is more important than anything 💙💙💙💙
BPD. It's hateful and the part about physicians has been my experience too. BPD has it's facets. I haven't had a relationship in over twenty years because with my BPD there will be...consequences. It's important to know one's limitations.
i’m researching about bpd because my friend opened up and told me they have it,, everything makes so much more sense now. you asked such good questions and she did a wonderful job answering them :)
I'm 37 and am just now getting a grip on my BPD. Through therapy, proper medication and God I am now able to calm myself down 90% of the time. I realize there is no magic pill or fancy therapy that will "fix" me and I may never be considered "normal" but... I've found "MY normal" and I'm learning to love myself. Remember in the dark times that no matter how you feel you are not alone. God is there for you and he will always love you and I love you too. You can do this.
I struggle with schitzo-affective, a form of schizophrenia, as I have trouble social situations or perceptions of others. Some of those perceptions cause swings in moods. Some of what she said sounds familiar. Thank you for these videos, they help me relate and have a better day.
@Brian C - You probably know this by now, but in case you don't, Chris has a video of a father with schitzo-affective disorder and his daughter, I believe. I haven't watched it yet, but perhaps it will be of some help to you.
i have bpd and yes our behaviors ARE manipulative and abusive. we can’t use bpd as a safeguard to just hurt people because we have big emotions. we are 100% responsible for ourselves and are actions. getting help and finding MULTIPLE coping mechanisms is the best thing you can do.
I've been diagnosed w/ BPD for a year now (including an informal diagnosis @ age 17) and I feel like the simplest way to describe it is: feeling too much, too strongly. One second, you could be having the best day of your life and then one SMALL inconvenience happens and then everything comes crashing down. And splitting on loved ones? The WORST - It's genuinely so tiring watching yourself go from loving and respecting someone to hating and villainizing a person the next second.
When she said she didn’t like how she looked..actually she looks very pretty. I hope there are professional people who can help her learn to react to things in a way that will be beneficial to herself and others around her and that she may have a beautiful future.
Just because the behaviour isn't intentional doesn't mean it isn't abusive. People with BPD deserve love and support. That does not mean that if you have a friend/loved one/family member with this disorder that you have to deal with their behaviour if it's continually distressing you. I could never date someone with BPD because my Mum had it. Being around people expressing similar behaviours to hers is very triggering for me. Put yourself first guys :)
If you notice, BPD people are incredibly self-absorbed. When he asked how her condition is most harmful, she spoke of how she harmed herself but nothing of the harm she may cause others. The thing is, this self-absorption is actually quite unpleasant for themselves as well as those around them. We are so very stuck in our own heads. We can become a slave to our emotions... Notice she said (I paraphrase) "I know I'm behaving in an extreme/unacceptable way but im just doing whatever I have to do to feel better." Ironically, those behaviors that are seemingly instinctive attempts to stop the painful emotions often cause MORE if it in the long run for themselves on TOP of the stress inflicted on those around them . I truly don't have the answer, and I don't believe I know what's best for everyone. However, I feel like I need to share that in my case, learning to put other people first sometimes. NOT to my own detriment, of course... But lts like this: if I understand that I am behaving irrationally, and that my emotions and coping behaviors are not only unhelpful to myself and others but even HARMFUL ... That's become a trigger to remind me to open the door to the cell of my own brain and focus on someone else for a moment. What can I do to eleviate the stress in someone else? Is there something I can do to make someone else smile while not expecting anything in return? Very often, the sense of joy I get from that, and the relief from being stuck in my ownn mental anguish, IS the return. An example: calling a family member, asking how they're doing and really truly LISTENING. might not sound like much... But my god , it can really HELP!
Hannah, Your honesty and openness has helped my so much to understand BPD. When I see you and hear you, you are brave beautiful soul. Thank you for the good you’ve done by sharing this interview. When you read and hear a critical description of BPD, it does not communicate the human factor. You are a breath of fresh air to me. Chris, thanks for this work you do.
I have BPD and PTSD. The emotions are all consuming and intense. They are ten times more intense than what a normal person feels. But they are real to us and they are warranted or not is irrelevant. We still feel it. It's absolutely a roller coaster
Thank you so much for this video and thank you to this beautiful, kind and understanding woman sharing such a personal topic. I feel more understood watching this than I ever have, connecting to another with the same struggles. 💜💜 Much much love and blessings - Oregon 💚
Tell her she's beautiful and try to help her because she needs guidance and real love that can help her realize people do have mental issues and that somebody's out there for her that will give her happiness and joy in her life this can be a excellent start to making her feeling much love
I have been severely and chronically abused by relationships with people with BPD and this helped me tilt the scales back to not demonizing them as much. I wish you the best on your journey.
I also suffered alot from a roommate with BPD and I thought it was my fault, but then found out she was manipulating lots of people. She wasn't a bad person, just couldn't handle the BPD on her own. I applaud this beautiful young woman and how she has accepted her diagnosis and therapy.
Well, take into account that the video is staged. Knowing her is a different story. They all come off sweet at first. Sorry for the generalization, but…
I have Asperger's and I can resonate with wanting someone to just reach out with a helping hand and not knowing what will trigger sensory issues that day and having a meltdown and acting out because you cannot process an emotion or some disruption to your routine. Like I don't want to behave the way I do but the emotional experience can be uncomfortable and the sensory issues are painful
Abuse is abuse in any form. Everyone is responsible for their behaviour. It is great she can acknowledge her negative behaviours. I hope she gets the help she needs so she can have as normal life as possible.
@@tn420animations9 Life won't be normal, that's for sure. But it doesn't mean the situation can't be improved. You can reach out for help and try to work on yourself to better manage the distressful emotions. It is possible, having BPD doesn't mean you're doomed!!!! Healing is possible, having better, more balanced relationships is possible, developing skills for crisis tolerance is possible. Therapy helps tremendously. Those people who told you that don't know what they're talking about. Don't lose hope.
My ex had BPD and I loved her with all my heart. She broke me as a human being and I started having my own mental health issues due to everything as well. I still love her and have no ill will, but I will say they can still really hurt people. Hurts more when she doesn't even acknowledge/think that she hurt me at all
Thank you Hannah for your transparency. I also had really bad abandonment issues and I did years of inner child healing and self-love practices. Just sharing what worked for me, and I no longer am triggered by abandonment which also breeds guilt and shame.
@@sarahboss2457 Check out Hypnotherapy Meditation on TH-cam/ you can also go to a real session , Meditate/Prayer, Read, Fasting is very important for Emotional Clarity, Working out, Hobbies, Also I been thinking about Shrooms and Micro dosing I heard that it’s good for mental health but not recommending because I haven’t tried it myself, Sea moss, Multivitamins, and also Celibacy is great ( Showing your body, Mind and spirit that yourself is great) Good Luck Queen 💯🙏🏾✨🤎💥
@@sarahboss2457 personally I have not been able to get a therapist yet but once you find one that you have a good connection with, they really help! I have a few self love tips that have helped me but they can be difficult at first. Sticking to a routine and finding activities to enjoy is one that can be difficult and really helps. I’ve been working out recently ever Tuesday and Friday and some days I don’t even want to get out of bed but my friend makes me! Also becoming self aware of behavior patterns and applying them to examples and thinking about how you can work on changing that behavior. I also have an emotional support animal but those can be hard if you don’t have finances for it. There’s many more coping mechanisms and also medications but those are some that have helped me! It will be difficult at first but it helps in the long run 💕 and remember to take small steps at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself with trying to change all at once. Progression takes time and it doesn’t matter how quick you heal as long as you keep on trying! You’ve got this
It’s ok if someone lashes out verbally as long as they are able to apologise later, but what isn’t ok is when someone won’t take responsibility for their emotions or constantly blame others
Validation is such a powerful thing she touched on. I've thought more and more about whether or not I'm borderline in the last year or so. My life has really spiraled out of control in a lot of ways and I think if I knew this was a thing sooner I could have coped better. I cannot stress enough how important validation of feelings/emotions is when you're in a depressed state or an angry state.
this video deeply resonated with me. when she said ‘when I love, I love hard’. I have ‘Love Hard’ tattooed on my fingers for that exact reason, as someone with BPD i think we are the most deeply loving people, and sometimes extremely misunderstood. Appreciate this alot !
@@wenoswatchlepignoufetanche1773 Where did you come from with that comment? Personal experience? "No reason" is a fallacy & quite actually the opposite, BPD is genetic and a majority of the time based on complex trauma. Your comment is the epitome of what I said by extremely misunderstood...
Deeply loving and also deeply hateful as well just like Amber Turd completely broke down Johhny Depp limb from limb with her emotional n physical abuse. Not to mention the false allegations and character assassinations.
This video has really taught me a lot after an interview I watched as of yesterday in Brazil. Borderline disorder could be the opposite to psychopaths; whereas psychopaths manipulate for pleasure and are not empaths, borderlines are over emotional at times but tend to punish or belittle themselves. Anyone?
Yea, I do think people with BPD are the opposite of psychopaths, in that pyschopaths/sociopaths feel muted emotion and care less than normal about their relationships, while people with BPD feel super-intense emotion especially about their relationships. Psychopaths/sociopaths manipulate in a cold, calculated way to gain something concrete like status, power, money, etc, whereas if people with BPD manipulate it comes from a place of emotional overwhelm, desperation to avoid abandonment, and having been consistently shown at a young age that acting out was the only way to get their needs met.
@@happypiano4810 thanks for your say. I did watch this TED Talk with a neurologist stating psychopaths tend to have an anomaly on their frontal lobes, which can be aggravated in case or physical/emotional abuses. As to borderline, little do I know too. I’ll read more, for sure.
From personal experience in a past relationship, I would never date someone with BPD again. There is a reason medical professionals are very cautious when dealing BPD sufferers. Yes, everyone is different but the traits it brings out can make it feel impossible to have a real, trusting relationship. At times it just feels like straight up manipulation combined with selfishness. May sound cold but that's how I feel.
i wanted to say that i have bpd and have recently started to take meds and i'm doing much better! but i understand the self harm thing she mentioned and feeling it on your skin. when i was younger i would be so emotional that i would bite my arm really hard to try and take out my anger or emotions, so i definitely relate
As someone living with BPD, this interview meant so incredibly much to me. I have never heard anyone so eloquently express how it feels on a daily basis to live with this disorder. It is comforting to know I am not alone and that other people are experiencing similar struggles. Keep it going, Hannah! You are loved!! ❤️
I love with BPD as well and I find it's the most painful mental illness to experience, I totally understand when she's explaining the fear, rage and love that is felt
I just want to say you are a good person to make these videos to help people understand what is the reality of life for the unfortunate people who are living with their problems.
I notice often that people with BPD try to soften their own accountability for their actions, basically because "they can't help it". I see a lot of those signs with this woman, when she tries to say that the out of control behavior does not make people with BPD abusive or manipulative. At one point she tries to suggest that it's not intentional...but at the same time she admits that when feeling abandonment, they will do *literally anything they can think of* to stop that from happening. The hurt and the common self-hatred that BPD results in may go part of the way to explaining why this mindset is common in the disorder. I don't think that it's simply an issue of not wanting to be accountable, in every case at least. But what it is, is an example of one of the defining features of BPD: Emotional dysregulation. That is probably the number one barrier to people with BPD receiving effective treatment. That it becomes very difficult for them to self-examine appropriately, because they (1) have spent so much time hating themselves that any self-examination triggers that further, (2) because they feel it is impossible for them to be any other way, that when the BPD wants to take over it will, and it's "not really them", and (3) they feel that their behavior should be accepted as it is, and understood in the context they would like it to be, because of point #2. It's extremely problematic though, because INTENTION is not what determines abuse and manipulation. Especially when the pattern occurs repeatedly. On top of that, intention does not exist in a vaccum. If you intended something during an episode and regret it later, that doesn't mean you didn't intend it in the first place. Having a disorder does not give you a pass on behaving in an abusive way, it merely helps to describe the mental state that led you to a behavior. If someone is angry and they physically assault someone, the anger isn't to blame for the assault. The person is. And truly addressing disorders like this REQUIRES that you are willing to be accountable for your own actions, not excusing it away because you're unstable.
i agree with you completely, however i do think you are missing the point of these videos. it’s to show the inside perspective of illnesses and disabilities. there’s a million things written about BPD by people that don’t have it, and this is showing what it’s actually like. but yes, to reiterate, intent doesn’t count for much when you’re hurting people.
I have this. And everything she says is so spot on. Thank goodness I now have a supportive and loving partner in my life who is helping me get through this disorder I developed from a traumatic past
I would rather not love as well. It’s hard enough to love yourself when you have BPD, and sometimes not opening yourself up to hurt is safer. It’s not the most adaptive, but it’s protective.
“I feel like the emotions are on my skin.” Literally. Such a great way to put it
Most kids today overuse and don't know what the word "literally" means or stands for.
in my artery tbh lol
@BalboaBaggins I'm a 22 year old girl Californian you are not wrong 🫶😂
@@BalboaBagginsliterally
it's the same with autism
u feel it on the skin but u feel signals coming from the brain
When her voice cracks, it makes me want to cry. I know exactly how she feels. I know exactly what she's talking about. BPD is a curse.
I've had lots of those symptoms too in life, and was abused as a child. I can say, it DOES get better. Typically people with BPD also do mellow out in their 30s and 40s. I'm 30 now and I show almost none of those signs of instability anymore. Also, people need to know that BPD ususually comes from childhood trauma anx/or abuse. It DOES get better!!!!
I'm 58 and diagnosed BPD...I'm much calmer than when I was in my 2O's, 30's and even 40's . There is light at the end of the tunnel. ❤
it's a curse for people around those with BPD who end up abused
@@jayc342009 so you think everyone with bpd are the same?
@user-qr8fc8ji4hExplain. This I gotta hear.
As a person living with BPD, this interview really resonated with me. This has helped me feel understood and advocated for. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing I didn’t fully understand what bpd was like you are lovely and strong keep striving
Me too :(
I’m a BPD warrior too. Much love to you
Me too
Bpd happens when daddy’s little princess grows up and she can’t cry to get what she wants in life anymore. Get over your self
I 100% empathize with and love my sibling with BPD, and I think this video is so honest, but it's important to have accountability as well. Pain from harm done with no bad intentions hurts the same as if it's done with bad intentions. If the person with BPD is able to get help, therapy, medication, and truly do the work and stick with it, they deserve every second third and 100th chance in the world - but with caution. Now as an adult I know at which point I need to walk away and reconnect with my sibling later on, but it doesn't heal the trauma from growing up with beatings, insults, and constant angry outbursts, interspersed with love and friendship and fun. I had both the best sibling and the worst one, and they were the same person. These relationships can be very hard and traumatizing. Now as adults I can say we have a great relationship and are friends, as I have dealt with my trauma and them with theirs. But if you have BPD, please don't sweep under the rug the pain of those in your life due to your good intentions or lack of control. No disorder is an excuse to abuse others, and the sooner you are able to comprehend that, the sooner you'll be able to build strong relationships.
I wish they had training classes for how to be a golden retriever turned human like Mr. Chris
Lol! This is the funniest thing I have seen all day. Try looking up NVC (non-violent communication) strategies. Helpful strategy to take the habitual judgement out of the language patterns we inherit from our culture.
@@gheckolock81 Wow! Thanks to you kind sir/ma'am. I am going to look this up immediately (good luck drivers in my vicinity 🤪)
maybe its the liquor but i dont get it lol.
Totally not insulting to compare a grown man to a dog, says alot about your need for constant agreement and passive nature to stay In control.
@@heresjohnny602 you sound absolutely insufferable, your best use would be as a speed bump
As an almost middle aged person who’s lived with BPD my whole life, we have to learn to cope with emotions on our own and not subject our loved ones to the extremes we experience. We can do this by changing our reaction behavior every time we are triggered until over time it becomes the default way we react. I learned to separate myself from loved ones when I’m splitting. Found value and self worth in how capable I am to love, be present and have empathy for others. It is truly unique!
I Learned to never abandon myself by strengthening my personal boundaries and holding people accountable for treating me kindly. Always treating others with kindness to set the standard that is healthiest and the least triggering for me.
When you want to lash out, please consider not validating the stigmatization about us. We are the ones we must never abandon. We are the ones we must always favor and love in the amazing way that we do.
You can do it! One day at a time. Don’t give up. It gets easier to do over time.
Thank u For sharing. I have bpd and needed to hear this advice
@@88yaz88 It warms my heart that you found this message helpful. Learning about BPD, it’s symptoms and defining characteristics is useful to understand where we need to focus our healing. For example the core difference between us those with out BPD is our fleeting or lacking sense of self. That’s what makes us need others and create unhealthy attachments. We have to create our own sense of self and hold it down no matter who we are close to at any time. It’s a life times work in progress but like I said, it gets easier to do over time. Eventually people notice how good we are at loving ourselves and it’s inspiring to them. Let’s use our trauma to change the cycle of abuse that caused it. I have a list of values I follow everyday I’m happy to share:
Defend happiness- when we are feeling defensive are we defending something that causes unhappiness? If so find the happiness and defend that instead.
Love is always greater than fear, love enables choice always, choose love in all your actions- we will always defeat fear with love. Nothing is stronger than Love! We should never act upon feelings of fear or we will loose. We are not loving if we don’t enable choice. If someone want to go we support them to leave to be truly loving and un defeat able.
In the face of loss, we can always find things to be grateful for- nothing is permanent so we have to accept that, and be grateful for the time we had. Trust that there will be more to come and be ready to continue that cycle of gain and loss.
Thank you.
as a male with BPD, I'm instantly seen as abusive and manipulative when really, all I want is my person to love me and listen to me like my parents never did, even when I'm angry and upset. Every day life is a struggle trying to not associate my past traumas with the present and it puts me in a spiral of self-loathing depression and extreme anxiety at the same time. I wish the world would finally realize that mental illness isn't something people with it can help sometimes.
its gotta be hard as a male with BPD bruh, i know we dont know eachother but you are enough and worthy of love. Focus on getting yo money, mind and body up g fr
I agree totally. I'm a woman with PTSD and BPD and other mental health issues. BPD is highly misunderstood.
Damn I'm going thru the same thing, but being a female.
Me too. Every word hits me hard
GOD BLESS YOU. I'M A WOMAN WITH THE SAME PAINS. NEGLECTED BECAUSE OF HARD OR UNWANTED BEHAVIOURS
"Nothing you ever feel is wrong. You feel that way for a reason and it's important to understand that reason." I love this quote. It's something I think I've been aware of but haven't been able to phrase.
really dangerous for someone with impulse related conditions like this
@@felipefioravanti6690 For me it's a way of examining my thought processes and where certain maladaptive behavioral patterns come from. When someone expresses fondness of me and wants to be my friend I have the urge to demonize them and push them away. If I ignore that feeling I don't fix it. If I examine why I'll realize I have deep trust issues stemming from my childhood. That's my interpretation anyways.
this video is the reason i found out i'm a borderline. it has literally changed my life. february 12th, 2020. i'll never forget the date. thank you.
I hope it gets better! Stay strong
I am too and I highly reccomend dbt therapy its changed my life.
Did you see a doctor?
how did you find out ?
I have no knowledge about this..Hope i didnt offended you in any ways❤
stay safe &strong💕💕
June 8th, 2022. This video has one too many similarities within myself, it’s time to get better. Wishing you the best with your journey of life 💯🤙
"I would rather never love anybody or have anybody love me than be abandoned" I strongly concur. I live with BPD as well and it is not easy to let in and receive love knowing that people can always change their minds and leave. The leaving is the fear realized and it is excruciatingly painful. The deep penetrating feelings of unworthiness are so true. There are a few things she shared that really hit home and I agree that grounding the person with validation and for me physical touch (bear hug) is healing and reassuring. I'm an introvert so my self harm is mostly internal through many extremes such as starvation or binge eating, hateful thoughts of myself and hateful self talk. Only sometimes do I hit, pinch ,scratch or pull my hair. Overall I can really related to her experiences and pray only the best for her.
Same, that’s why I never got when people say “I would rather have loved and lost” like no😅
are there different forms of bpd? I feel like I can be set off very easily some days, but not so much on others and when I do get angry, it is also so intense that I don't know what to do and it feels like it's on my skin (she put it perfectly). I start hurting my girlfriend and hating myself but I don't slef harm, although I always want to and think about it... but I don't know if I truly have bpd because it is not as severe as it is for her or others
@@HonestlyHolisticyes there are you can have quiet bpd or a bpd that show more every human is different :)
She seems very sweet and self-reflective! I hope she knows she's beautiful and not at all washed out looking. And I hope she's able to surround herself with good people who have patience and understanding for what she goes through. I'm sure anyone would be lucky to have her as a friend.
Awe, I have BPD. This is so nice. Like I know it's not even to me but I WISH I had someone like you in my life. Or even have some say something like that ever. I truly have one friend. My husband. My mom. And that's literally it. Where are the other people like you girl!? I'm trying to find me some lol
Hey, are the socials of this "Hannah" person, interviewed in the video, shown anywhere? She's adorable.
@@septarian3337 be glad u have them lol
@@septarian3337 Some don't even have that ...
You've truly never lived with nor had once as a friend
I work at a mental health ward as a mental health caretaker and I find these videos informative and contextually valuable for my work. The challanges and ways of coping with symptoms and expressed behaviour that are described by people diagnosed with these conditions influence the way I relate to and care for patients in my profession.
My mom is a caregiver and I send her SBSK all the time and she uses these videos to teach the people around her about the perceptions of her clients and it is EVER so helpful
What an awesome comment, Jon! 😃
Caring for others biologically primed to manipulate, psychically abuse and mentally abuse others is like placing your head in the jaws of a lion and saying play nice.
thank you for caring so much & the way you do gives hope
@@heresjohnny602someone has to do it. If someone is committed are they just supposed to be left there for life or what lol. Obviously you’re really pissed about this subject but that’s their job.
As someone thats been living with BPD for 30 years, with patience and understanding from those close to you, meditation and mindfulness activities, it does get better. I still have episodes, but now recognize them as such and know they arent my permanent truth.
Everyone close to me left they think I'm crazy now.
That is beautifully written. Thank you.
Mindfulness meditation needs better marketing because it is something that everyone can benefit from on the same order of magnitude that exercise helps folks
meditation has helped me beyond what I thought possible for my own emotional trauma, still working at it sometimes, but it definitely gets better and better. May we all be kind and helpful to eachother and learn how to embrace each other's pain with gentleness and equanimity and skill fullness. Thich nhat hanh's videos have helped me a lot too
Bet you've still never apologised for those episodes when you've hurt others. Just a oh poor me let's move on response I bet.
I used to have borderline traits from c-ptsd (got better with a lot of counseling, work, support etc). I feel like the needing validation for your emotions before anything else makes sense with how BPD usually originates from early attachment trauma where our caregivers didn't consistently recognize and mirror back our emotions. It's kind of slowly replacing those early experiences with new ones where you're seen.
I have a similar diagnosis (just recent) and I get triggered every time I feel invalidated especially by my partner.
Thank you for your comment.
I need a lot of reassurance as well and luckily I have a very supportive, loving and understanding partner.
I have some suspicion that I may have bpd as well as cptsd. Or as you said cptsd with traits of bpd. How did you guys overcome going to therapy ? For some reason that is my biggest fear , I’ve looked into options online because speaking in front of someone about everything and how I’ve felt like this my entire life is a bit nerving.
I know a diagnosis does not define you, but I feel it’s a start , to try and help myself and helping with healing
@@frochaa I was feeling so desperate by the time I went to counseling that it was sort of that or death, but I would not recommend waiting til that point as a way to get yourself over the hurdle! Online seems like it could be a good way to ease yourself in. I’ve heard there are various options for how you communicate with counselors over an online platform- some will do phone without video or even instant-message if you’d rather type than speak.
Never liked the phrase 'they're just doing it to get attention' applied to any sort of self-harm or threat of self-harm, whatever the underlying mental state might be. As if there's something wrong with a human being in distress wanting attention anyways. We tell people knowing they have a problem is the first step to a solution, and then if somebody shows up with a problem, we invalidate them. You don't want people to self-harm, but you do want them to want attention if they're driven to self-harm, that's the last thing you want stigmatized, you don't want to find out too late and everybody's left standing around saying 'but they seemed so happy, I had no idea.'
Thank you :)
You know what? You cant change the stigma just like they cant change their illness....this is what world we live
My ex had this but she left me. She was so beautiful we had a deep connection and I still love her so much. Our breakup was sudden, she just decided one day that she didn't want to be inlove with me anymore. I could see how she struggled, I gave her all the love in the world, she couldn't accept it, she tried so hard too and I love her so much for that. Man life's unfair I just wish I could go back in time and stop the people that hurt her. I didn't want to research bpsd while with my ex because I didn't want to see her or treat her differently based on her condition, I tried separating her from it but now I wish I understood more whilst with her. Life goes On I wish it went on with her but it's not. All I can do is send her all the love in the world and hope she lives a good life.
Omg I am so so sorry but at the same time, that was so very sweet of you. I wish her all the best too
@@rachaelsmart5804 thank you 🙂
@@mattdefreitas525 Your welcomeee. I can't believe you actually replied. I hope you're doing amazing and in the best of health
@@rachaelsmart5804 you too 🙂 thanks again, all the best 🙂
You have a very beautiful soul. I hope you find the happiness you deserve.🤍
When I was at mental hospital at 15 for 3 months I developed a close friendship with a 17 year old girl with BPD (and OCD). She definitely had her anger outbursts from time to time but it didn’t really affect me because I knew it was nothing personal or intentional but of course if someone is affected by behavior like that, that’s valid too. But for me it wasn’t too bad. I have had angry outbursts like that when I had really bad agitated depression before. I once broke a glass window by banging my head during meltdowns so I think I can really understand what it’s like to have all those feelings inside of you that you don’t know what to do with.
She was one of the sweetest, most empathetic, caring, attentive, bubbly and loving people I’ve ever met. I still think about her from time to time. So for anyone with BPD, know that there are many people who don’t just see your for your BPD.
I needed this..
This was beautiful thank you. I hope you found some helpful coping skill as well🥺
Thank you for addressing borderline. She nailed it when describing it. I'm 47 and have lived with borderline all my life. I've been in intense therapy for years and have just recently gotten to where my emotions and behaviors are at a level that is more appropriate for an adult. I still struggle with borderline and probably will for the rest of my life but I've made progress and those with borderline need to know that they are special, precious, loving, sensitive, and amazing people!
Good on you! Keep going
"What would be the appropriate way for me to respond to that" is such a smart response when somebody says something extreme
bro right
Thank you so much for this. Before I was diagnosed with BPD I honestly thought I was either cursed or just losing my mind. It does help to hear that people experience the same deep dark struggles. That dark well is so dark and lonely and miserable. Also thank you so much for adding the part about manipulation. It's hard to explain that you're not trying to be a manipulative narcissist, you feel like you're spinning out of control and grasping at anything to just keep your head above water.
"I would rather never love anybody or have anybody love me than be abandoned"..This. THIS is how I would describe my bpd in one sentence. It's also the cruelest aspect of bpd for me. I feel emotions and love SO deeply that it hurts. I've tried to be a normal person but as soon as I start to get close to someone, the panic takes over, and I self sabotage. If I pursue a meaningful, emotional connection, then I will be suicidal WHEN they abandon me. So I don't do relationships. This means a life of solitude, but at least I won't have to experience that agony
I see a brave beautiful young lady who despite has the label the world gives her opens her heart and life to others and tries to live a loving life. As a person who is also going through mental health issues, I get strength from her and I am more willing to accept who I am. Thank you!
Best Grounding Method I have found ... my framily mom taught it to me and walked me through it when I started having panic attacks:
5 things you can see
4 things you can hear
3 things you can feel
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
all things must be in the physical world.
By the end I am so much better
I’m gonna try this. Thank you for sharing.
But feeling is metaphysical. It doesn't physically exist since it's abstract.
@@thesilver7238 touch
I have a BPD parent, and unfortunately, many people with it refuse the diagnosis (like said parent). So lovely to see someone who accepts where they are and are trying to change.
Ironically, my parent’s fear of abandonment forced me to abandon them, as the coexistent covert narcissism is toxic. But self-awareness is 90 percent of the process of change. If you see that you need improvement, you’re way better than most.
I left a 17-year marriage with a Borderline sufferer that resulted in moderate to severe CPTSD for myself. It took years to understand what I had been through, and while I have grown in my empathy & compassion it is also important that , as with other emotional and mental illnesses, the collateral damage can extend well beyond the diagnosed person.
this!
I find it hard to trust my emotions when things set me off because idk if I'm over reacting to situations and its really frustrating not knowing how to respond.
I love you.
Always honor how you feel in that moment, but if you can process it first and then when you come back to centre you can reevaluate...
Of course in the middle of a conversation not always possible before reacting but if you start to validate yourself with what you feel you learn to reparent yourself and over time you heal and may be less reactive.
@@Dani-lc9hq Thank you 👌🌻
Omg so me! Excatly it’s so hard
My partner has bpd and struggles with this as well. His solution is to excuse himself and go meditate whenever he feels a lot of emotion. He meditates and has a moment to think things through. Then when he’s ready, he’ll go back to the situation and respond with a clearer head and feels more confident response. I hope this helps
I have BPD too. as well as ptsd, adhd, and panic attacks. I have so so much in common with this girl. and thank you for talking about the stigma of having BPD. we are not horrible people. we just FEEL so so so intensely
Most girls do. Why do you think most American women are relatively broken compared to the rest of the world given this is a first world nation? I’d love to know your opinion, with a lot of emphasis on the word opinion since your emotions do make your opinion facts just because you feel they do fyi. oh btw and I’m not trying to act condescending or trying to belittle you this is just my tone so don’t gas light anyone please
@@internettrihard2955 you might want to reword your statement if you really want an answer to that question. The statement about opinions not being facts doesn't even need to be said, it's obvious, and the point that you even said it, is incredibly invalidating. Why would anyone answer your question when you've invalidated their emotions / their answer before they even answer? Especially BPD, your comments are very triggering to people with that condition. I'm going to assume that you don't realize that, ...so here's my advice: a good way to tell if your comment is inappropriate, is if you have to state that you hope it's not condescending. In any case, I do honestly hope you have a wonderful day, take care. :)
Yeah you're not horrible people by default. But your behaviour is generally horrible if you don't actively seek treatment. Everyone with BPD should be encouraged to seek treatment.
@@internettrihard2955 Found the redpilled cultist. What shite like💀
@@internettrihard2955 ugh
I see the conflict that the BPD sufferer will have when they *know* they are being extreme, and they *know* that the extremeness pushes people away, which amplifies the feeling of abandonment. I think communication is key here, so that the other person knows that there is self-awareness, might de-escalate the feedback loop. The awareness of the 'unreasonable emotions' was also something I didn't realise, learnt something today.
Wow. This was such an amazing episode. I have bpd and everything she said is so true. It’s so embarrassing when I “snap out of” an episode. When I’m hurting I lash out in such awful ways like self harm and then I push everyone away from me before they can leave me and then I’m so upset that im all alone in the world even though I did it. It’s such an exhausting disorder.
The woman interviewed said after she has acted out she then tries to fix it. What I’ve noticed with my daughter is she never tries to fix it. Has never apologized nor explained how she feels and what she needs from people. No accountability. Have you found that is something that comes with maturity?
@@rhondas3017 I found as you mature people don't apologize. You can but they are not going to accept it so what's the point? You are the bad guy always.
@@rhondas3017 being the villian is your role.
@@rhondas3017 honestly, it just sounds like to me that she’s embarrassed. whilst im not professionally diagnosed with bpd i’ve exerted all of the symptoms since i was 13, and i know from personal experience and research i’ve done that whenever i lash out or have some sort of breakdown, immense amount of embarrassment, guilt, and disgust i have for myself and the things i’ve done is unimaginable and i never want to face that person again or even think about what i’ve done. so i just try to forget it instead if holding accountability and apologising. extremely harmful and toxic i know, but i’ve seen that its very common amongst people with cluster b disorders. she’s probably just extremely embarrassed and disgusted with herself
@@rhondas3017 as you grow older and learn healthy coping mechanisms as you become more self aware, you begin to realize how your actions have affected someone. In this case I would say your daughter is either not self aware or is embarrassed by her actions so it’s hard for her to apologize because she is ashamed of the way she acted because she knows it was wrong. I would recommend sitting down with her and having a heart to heart and tell her you’re always there for her and as long as she learns to apologize and become self aware, that there’s always a way to communicate and help. Show her unconditional love and support and help her learn to communicate without blaming her or shaming her. Thank you for wanting to know more and wanting to better your relationship with your daughter
I'm glad you were able to do ones on bpd.
Hannah, thank you so much for your vulnerability. Putting yourself out there on the internet and being open about your deepest struggles is heroic in my opinion and you have impacted so many people with this video. I have ADHD and a lot of BPD traits and this felt so validating to watch. Thank you a million times :)
A lot of times with myself I will be so afraid of someone abandoning me that I will push them away or not allow them to get close to me because then if they do leave it hurts a tiny bit less. But yeah that push pull is what makes relationships hard with BPD. Also the self destructive tendencies sure don't help any other BPD symptoms lol.
Your comment resonates so much with me. I ended a 7month relationship last week during one of my 'episodes' when he was going out to a social event.
The feelings of abandonment and rejection had been building up all day. As he was going I totally lost it, although a part of me did know I was being irrational. Looking back , if he had hugged me or reassured me there might have been a different outcome. I feel like sending him this video so he understands why I acted like I did. But I wont because of the fear of rejection.
@@sharonrose4 if you really like this person, I'd say send it. If you already ended it then what do you have to lose? If they accept it then that's amazing, if they don then that's just more confirmation you did the right thing. In my opinion. Anyway.
@@septarian3337 thank you for taking the time to reply, I never expected that! 🤗 you are right. I have nothing to lose.🤗
Well......update.
I contacted him by messaging, explained BPD, told him I have been watching videos and apologised for my behaviour. Ended with 'no pressure to reply'. Well he replied immediately and in a positive manner. We have been messaging for 3days now and it remains positive. So who knows?? But thanks again for your suggestion! Hope things work out for you too in the future. Knowing our issues means we can work on them 👍🤗🌹
I live with BPD everyday and it’s been one heck of a roller coaster; I’ve been following SBSK for years now and I’ve purposely avoided this video until now...because I’ve always had a hard time hearing about “myself”...but you nailed this interview girl, right on! Thanks for breaking it down in the best way possible for other people to understand! PS- I have the same exact necklace you have (the shortest one you’re wearing) except mine came on a chain with a little word charm hanging beside it, and it says courage...which is exactly what this video, that necklace, and you are giving me and all people with BPD!
I am extremly glad your comments are back, you truly deserve this and I will start to re-watch your videos just so I can enjoy some beautiful comments after
I remember watching this interview a year ago and related to it so much but denied the fact I had BPD, for many different reasons. But now I’m diagnosed and everything feels a lot more clear and I understand myself much more now and am able to get the proper help I need. Thank you for making these videos because they really reach out to people and help them identify traits for themselves or others and how to approach these types of things 💕
what she said about only being able to calm down when she comes down from a 100 level until it goes down and when someone says "Woah chill out" is 100% relatable
I don't have BPD but I do have autism and is completely and physically impossible to control feelings and to "chill out" it upsets me when people say it because we want to "chill out" and we are trying to and sometimes beyond our best but we still can't control it and other people just don't see how hard we are trying and we prob are trying hard then they want us to.
ur not alone
we totally understand u
❤
This interview was wonderful. I am studying in the mental health field and have multiple close friends with diagnosed with BPD. She has tremendous clarity and self awareness. And I liked her metaphor about the car, really good explanation. I hope she learns there are people out there who will understand and support her, especially if she can continue being honest and open 💓
My wife had impulsive bpd for most of her adult life. She went on to make a full recovery using bpd therapy, combined with my home brew methodology based on entraining. We found perfect peace and a bond that most people won't even dream of. 🙏
Hannah, you are absolutely beautiful! And the way you describe BPD is so SPOT ON! I'm proud of you for having the strength to share this on video because I know it has helped more people than you know realize they may have it, or learn how to cope with it better. You are amazing!
I was diagnosed at University when studying to be a psychologist. The psychiatrist in his diagnosis expressed concern at my choice of profession. I ripped his diagnosis up and carried on. I went on to work with abused traumatised adults and children. My BDP gave me the gift of knowing and understanding my clients and having ‘unconditional positive regard’ for each and every one. I grew to love, appreciate and understand my condition and see it as a gift in order to support my clients to achieve their own potential. I would never give up my BPD it’s my drive, my passion and my source of love. I control it, it no longer controls me.
You did well!!! Congratulations
If you have a link to your business it might be appropriate to share it. There seem to be a lot of people with BPD in the comments, and they might be well disposed toward talking to a psychologist who truly understands what they go through.
This seems like something someone with uncontrollable BPD would say..
@@tylerphillips4083 😒🙃🤡
God bless you, young man. Your channel is doing a GREAT thing!
My girlfriend has BPD. I can empathise with everything she is saying. It's like any other relationship, about love, patience and coping with each other. The important part is when they go in "episodes" is to understand it's coming from deep and mostly very painful trauma and like she said, that it's nothing personal. Obviously the intensity can make it feel that way. Perhaps you need a stronger backbone once and while but for me it's totally worth the love i get in return. :p And to be honest i have
characteristics myself. Some say it's impossible. But it's really all about the right communication and allowing space at the right times. The second one especially to avoid major drama! The first one to come out the drama in peace and love. In the end we just love and protect each other and that's all that matters. :)
This comment means so much to me as i've been speaking to someone whos recently been diagnosed with BPD. We've only been speaking for two months but theres something about her i find so special and hope to grow something out of. I've only seen and felt what feels like the tip of the iceberg when it comes to her bad days, but even then when shes not having a bad day she's one of the sweetest people I know. To hear you say this makes me feel better in knowing that it will be hard but worth it, because honestly I can see myself feeling that exact way.
@William Borgemo Jesus Christ is a fairytale first of all and has nothing to do with this most of all. May 'god' bless you.
@@jeroenselderslaghs6072 may God bless you...
@@galaxynova2196 He did
Thank you for writing this out and btw you're f. awesome 👌
I'm diagnosed, my partner is incredible with me and you have no idea how well timed reading your comment was. Needed it, thank you✌🌻
Not only do these videos educate us about the different conditions and disorders, but through Chris, they also teach us how to appropriately treat and respond to people suffering from these conditions. If I meet someone suffering from a certain condition, I may be afraid to hurt their feelings in any way, unintentionally of course. I learned that if you struggle to make the appropriate response, you always ask them first what to say or what to do for them or if they need help. Like when Chris asked her: "what would be the appropriate way for me to respond to that?" I find it interesting that he asked. This taught me something.
I love this channel. It's really important to shed light on things like bpd. It's a very destructive thing to live with, but finally seeing more people open up about it is refreshing.
This made me cry. I cant even express how awful abandonement makes one feel. I was once told that I am an addict, not to drugs but to people. I had a continuous week long panic attack so bad just existing was painful during my last breakup. Relationships are so anxiety inducing and the whiplash of feeling high from love to pushing people away in fear to feeling abandonded and feeling like I simply can't live without them is so painful. Its for the betterment of myself and others that I just never get close to anyone else again.
Loved her answer to chill out… it’s all you want and you can’t , until you ride out the feeling. you don’t understand why others aren’t feeling how you feel in the moment. Why they disagree with your reaction or emotion but you do come down and realize the situation and your response was extreme
I didn't know people with bpd were perceived as manipulative. That would make it harder to receive grounding kindness from the people around you when they're feeling bad. Which is what they need in that moment of extreme feeling, which I imagine is real uncomfortable.
joDI arias is borderline personality
Yes we are, and it’s extremely frustrating. When we’re being ‘manipulative’, we do not see it that way. But people assume that we do and are manipulative out of malice as opposed to unconscious internal abandonment issues.
@@skyofthelivingdead how can you not see it that way you know when your being manipulative mabye you should deal with fear of abandonment I know when I am manipulating someone you have to have a conscious reality of it
yes and they can be dangerous too Jodi arias was bpd and look what she did people with this disorder will do anything and everything to manipulate someone
@@katieblake8911 you are so ignorant, honey. It doesn’t work that way.
I just recently got diagnosed with BPD and I am very shocked you have even represented us here. You're an amazing man.
I have bpd and everything she said is me to a t it was crazy listening to her because i was hearing myself my wish is that everyone could understand what bpd is and how we try so hard to control it but sometimes it is very hard
ive watched this video at least five times at this point, and it has helped a lot to understand my conditions and what i go through on a regular basis and im glad i can finally leave a comment to thank you guys for it. having someone else speak about it in such a open way helped me so much to understand that im not necessarily a bad person, im just someone who needs some help.
thanks hannah and thanks chris.
Breaks my heart. You’re so beautiful. I totally get the fear of abandonment, I have lots of childhood trauma. Being validated is so important, I’m just realizing now at 48 years old just how important it feels.
Can’t imagine health officials not wanting to help. I really hope you can get the help you need. 🌸🌸🌸
The reckless driving really shook me! I wish her all the best and to get better, but I don't think she should be allowed to drive - she mentioned this as being self harm, but being reckless behind the wheel is also very dangerous towards pedestrians and other drivers.
What a beautiful human being. Thank you for sharing your story, undoubtedly it’s going to help so many people. I have been struggling with how to help someone with BPD, and you’ve helped me to understand some of the mystery. ❤️
These videos are so important. Congratulations on getting the comments back cause rational conversations about humanity's issues are so necessary.
Wdym comments back???
@@brendamonge8262 TH-cam turned comments off for a couple years for this channel.
A someone with bpd this genuinely made me cry. I just wish people could understand the pain I feel every second of the day
This young woman is so honest and self-aware. I really respect how much she has shared with us!! I hope she’s doing really well.
I have a relative who exhibits all of the signs of BPD. She has never been diagnosed. She has also never been honest about her struggles. Instead she mistreats people and then tries to pretend that it never happened. Because of this, I used to think that it wasn’t possible for BPD people to have that kind of self awareness, but this interviewee proved me wrong!!
I really hope Hannah is doing well. I wish I could meet her and become friends because she seems so sweet and kind. Mental health issues are such a struggle and I can relate to a lot of what she shared.
This series is so amazing with helping people to build empathy for others with stigmatized conditions. Thank you Chris!
I honestly think relying on our emotions as truth can be a bit deceiving. They aren’t always accurate or rational. Be surprised at how, even the slightest shift in thought, can impact our emotions. Sometimes we can’t help how we feel, but SOMETIME we can! We should ALWAYS try to help ourselves though. Self awareness is key. One little positive thought can be enough to change the course of our emotions. The more you flex that muscle, the easier it gets! The mind has the power to choose happiness! Getting ourselves to choose it is the hard part.
I am so grateful to come back to this channel and see all of the thoughtful and supportive comments especially on an episode like this. Thank you so much everyone.
WOW. Spot on. Thank you so much for being so honest in this interview! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I love what you are doing. Mental health needs to come out from the shadows. Your kindness and compassion is amazing. Thank you
My daughter has BPD. I really appreciate this episode. I'm so proud to be a Patreon supporter of this channel. I feel like the messages that are spread are SO very important for people to understand.
Hi. I am also diagnosed with BPD for about 15 years now. And this video was spot on. It was nice to see her explain what its like. She was right on point with everything. I'm just in tears. "When I love, I love hard".
It's true, people with BPD are SO passionate. I think what gets a lot of people with BPD in trouble is that they can get in their own feelings so much that they end up behaving in a way that their partner perceives as unloving.
@@SmallFry900 yeah right now I'm dealing with a ton of suicidal ideation. I am in a hospital but it just makes it worse. The loneliest people commit suicide. And I feel like the loneliest person in the world right now.
@@JinxMarie1985 but you're still OK? Right?
your not a bad person if you have to end a friendship with someone with an mental illness people with bpd etc can be extremely difficult and your health is more important than anything 💙💙💙💙
BPD. It's hateful and the part about physicians has been my experience too. BPD has it's facets. I haven't had a relationship in over twenty years because with my BPD there will be...consequences. It's important to know one's limitations.
i’m researching about bpd because my friend opened up and told me they have it,, everything makes so much more sense now. you asked such good questions and she did a wonderful job answering them :)
If a therapist refuses to help you when they hear you have BPD then who on earth do you seek for help?! This must be so disheartening.
Then look for a therapist who deals with the BPD clients. :l
@@internettrihard2955 TROLL. You have many terrible comments. Go get your own mental health taken care of. Your comments reveal hatred and prejudice.
I just don’t tell new therapists, they will figure it out after a while … hahahah I just tell them about depression, anxiety, and ptsd
@@lorrainematthews9418 Which is manipulation.
@@zimonyini Why so judgmental? Everyone deserves positive mental health. I don’t blame them for trying to.
I'm 37 and am just now getting a grip on my BPD. Through therapy, proper medication and God I am now able to calm myself down 90% of the time. I realize there is no magic pill or fancy therapy that will "fix" me and I may never be considered "normal" but... I've found "MY normal" and I'm learning to love myself. Remember in the dark times that no matter how you feel you are not alone. God is there for you and he will always love you and I love you too. You can do this.
❤️
ty for this. i'm 22 and got diagnosed recently and feel like my 20s are being wasted and plus I hear from many people that 30s are very hard
I struggle with schitzo-affective, a form of schizophrenia, as I have trouble social situations or perceptions of others. Some of those perceptions cause swings in moods. Some of what she said sounds familiar. Thank you for these videos, they help me relate and have a better day.
@Brian C - You probably know this by now, but in case you don't, Chris has a video of a father with schitzo-affective disorder and his daughter, I believe. I haven't watched it yet, but perhaps it will be of some help to you.
i have bpd and yes our behaviors ARE manipulative and abusive. we can’t use bpd as a safeguard to just hurt people because we have big emotions. we are 100% responsible for ourselves and are actions. getting help and finding MULTIPLE coping mechanisms is the best thing you can do.
I've been diagnosed w/ BPD for a year now (including an informal diagnosis @ age 17) and I feel like the simplest way to describe it is: feeling too much, too strongly. One second, you could be having the best day of your life and then one SMALL inconvenience happens and then everything comes crashing down. And splitting on loved ones? The WORST - It's genuinely so tiring watching yourself go from loving and respecting someone to hating and villainizing a person the next second.
As someone with BPD.... *Proceeds to agree with everything in here* definally the way she describes it... Is perfect in my opinion..
When she said she didn’t like how she looked..actually she looks very pretty. I hope there are professional people who can help her learn to react to things in a way that will be beneficial to herself and others around her and that she may have a beautiful future.
Just because the behaviour isn't intentional doesn't mean it isn't abusive. People with BPD deserve love and support. That does not mean that if you have a friend/loved one/family member with this disorder that you have to deal with their behaviour if it's continually distressing you. I could never date someone with BPD because my Mum had it. Being around people expressing similar behaviours to hers is very triggering for me. Put yourself first guys :)
Yup. I've known 3 people with BPD and they were all incredibly abusive and destructive.
If you notice, BPD people are incredibly self-absorbed. When he asked how her condition is most harmful, she spoke of how she harmed herself but nothing of the harm she may cause others.
The thing is, this self-absorption is actually quite unpleasant for themselves as well as those around them. We are so very stuck in our own heads. We can become a slave to our emotions... Notice she said (I paraphrase) "I know I'm behaving in an extreme/unacceptable way but im just doing whatever I have to do to feel better." Ironically, those behaviors that are seemingly instinctive attempts to stop the painful emotions often cause MORE if it in the long run for themselves on TOP of the stress inflicted on those around them .
I truly don't have the answer, and I don't believe I know what's best for everyone. However, I feel like I need to share that in my case, learning to put other people first sometimes. NOT to my own detriment, of course... But lts like this: if I understand that I am behaving irrationally, and that my emotions and coping behaviors are not only unhelpful to myself and others but even HARMFUL ... That's become a trigger to remind me to open the door to the cell of my own brain and focus on someone else for a moment. What can I do to eleviate the stress in someone else? Is there something I can do to make someone else smile while not expecting anything in return?
Very often, the sense of joy I get from that, and the relief from being stuck in my ownn mental anguish, IS the return. An example: calling a family member, asking how they're doing and really truly LISTENING. might not sound like much... But my god , it can really HELP!
Hannah, Your honesty and openness has helped my so much to understand BPD. When I see you and hear you, you are brave beautiful soul. Thank you for the good you’ve done by sharing this interview. When you read and hear a critical description of BPD, it does not communicate the human factor. You are a breath of fresh air to me. Chris, thanks for this work you do.
I have BPD and PTSD. The emotions are all consuming and intense. They are ten times more intense than what a normal person feels. But they are real to us and they are warranted or not is irrelevant. We still feel it. It's absolutely a roller coaster
Thank you so much for this video and thank you to this beautiful, kind and understanding woman sharing such a personal topic. I feel more understood watching this than I ever have, connecting to another with the same struggles. 💜💜
Much much love and blessings
- Oregon 💚
Tell her she's beautiful and try to help her because she needs guidance and real love that can help her realize people do have mental issues and that somebody's out there for her that will give her happiness and joy in her life this can be a excellent start to making her feeling much love
Accurate. Very validating. I never knew what it was until about a year or 2 ago. Just got diagnosed officially. It makes everything make sense.
I have been severely and chronically abused by relationships with people with BPD and this helped me tilt the scales back to not demonizing them as much. I wish you the best on your journey.
I also suffered alot from a roommate with BPD and I thought it was my fault, but then found out she was manipulating lots of people. She wasn't a bad person, just couldn't handle the BPD on her own. I applaud this beautiful young woman and how she has accepted her diagnosis and therapy.
@@maytc2011 So do I. Please be mindful that you also deserve care. I wish you the best and if you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate.
Well, take into account that the video is staged. Knowing her is a different story. They all come off sweet at first. Sorry for the generalization, but…
Dr Ramani have videos about Borderline + Dr Fox and others‼️
people with BPD often times target empathetic and open people. Hang in there. Hope you get better
I have Asperger's and I can resonate with wanting someone to just reach out with a helping hand and not knowing what will trigger sensory issues that day and having a meltdown and acting out because you cannot process an emotion or some disruption to your routine. Like I don't want to behave the way I do but the emotional experience can be uncomfortable and the sensory issues are painful
Abuse is abuse in any form. Everyone is responsible for their behaviour. It is great she can acknowledge her negative behaviours. I hope she gets the help she needs so she can have as normal life as possible.
@@tn420animations9 Life won't be normal, that's for sure. But it doesn't mean the situation can't be improved. You can reach out for help and try to work on yourself to better manage the distressful emotions. It is possible, having BPD doesn't mean you're doomed!!!! Healing is possible, having better, more balanced relationships is possible, developing skills for crisis tolerance is possible. Therapy helps tremendously. Those people who told you that don't know what they're talking about. Don't lose hope.
My ex had BPD and I loved her with all my heart. She broke me as a human being and I started having my own mental health issues due to everything as well.
I still love her and have no ill will, but I will say they can still really hurt people. Hurts more when she doesn't even acknowledge/think that she hurt me at all
i've been through something similar, my heart goes out to you. i hope you're in a better place now and know it was not your fault. ❤️
This is the best explanation of BPD I have ever heard. Really helpful!
Thank you Hannah for your transparency. I also had really bad abandonment issues and I did years of inner child healing and self-love practices. Just sharing what worked for me, and I no longer am triggered by abandonment which also breeds guilt and shame.
Could you elaborate on self-love practices? Is this something you worked on with a therapist or something you can achieve on your own? Thank you! 😊
@@sarahboss2457 Check out Hypnotherapy Meditation on TH-cam/ you can also go to a real session , Meditate/Prayer, Read, Fasting is very important for Emotional Clarity, Working out, Hobbies, Also I been thinking about Shrooms and Micro dosing I heard that it’s good for mental health but not recommending because I haven’t tried it myself, Sea moss, Multivitamins, and also Celibacy is great ( Showing your body, Mind and spirit that yourself is great) Good Luck Queen 💯🙏🏾✨🤎💥
@@sarahboss2457 personally I have not been able to get a therapist yet but once you find one that you have a good connection with, they really help! I have a few self love tips that have helped me but they can be difficult at first. Sticking to a routine and finding activities to enjoy is one that can be difficult and really helps. I’ve been working out recently ever Tuesday and Friday and some days I don’t even want to get out of bed but my friend makes me! Also becoming self aware of behavior patterns and applying them to examples and thinking about how you can work on changing that behavior. I also have an emotional support animal but those can be hard if you don’t have finances for it. There’s many more coping mechanisms and also medications but those are some that have helped me! It will be difficult at first but it helps in the long run 💕 and remember to take small steps at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself with trying to change all at once. Progression takes time and it doesn’t matter how quick you heal as long as you keep on trying! You’ve got this
It’s ok if someone lashes out verbally as long as they are able to apologise later, but what isn’t ok is when someone won’t take responsibility for their emotions or constantly blame others
Validation is such a powerful thing she touched on. I've thought more and more about whether or not I'm borderline in the last year or so. My life has really spiraled out of control in a lot of ways and I think if I knew this was a thing sooner I could have coped better. I cannot stress enough how important validation of feelings/emotions is when you're in a depressed state or an angry state.
this video deeply resonated with me. when she said ‘when I love, I love hard’. I have ‘Love Hard’ tattooed on my fingers for that exact reason, as someone with BPD i think we are the most deeply loving people, and sometimes extremely misunderstood. Appreciate this alot !
Yeah, hurting people and destroying their lives for no reason is definitely "deeply loving".
@@wenoswatchlepignoufetanche1773 Where did you come from with that comment? Personal experience? "No reason" is a fallacy & quite actually the opposite, BPD is genetic and a majority of the time based on complex trauma. Your comment is the epitome of what I said by extremely misunderstood...
Deeply loving and also deeply hateful as well just like Amber Turd completely broke down Johhny Depp limb from limb with her emotional n physical abuse. Not to mention the false allegations and character assassinations.
Wow She's so Beautiful.I hope she sees that in time and finds someone thats understandings her and can help.
This video has really taught me a lot after an interview I watched as of yesterday in Brazil. Borderline disorder could be the opposite to psychopaths; whereas psychopaths manipulate for pleasure and are not empaths, borderlines are over emotional at times but tend to punish or belittle themselves. Anyone?
As a person with BPD, I agree with what you took away from this.
Yea, I do think people with BPD are the opposite of psychopaths, in that pyschopaths/sociopaths feel muted emotion and care less than normal about their relationships, while people with BPD feel super-intense emotion especially about their relationships. Psychopaths/sociopaths manipulate in a cold, calculated way to gain something concrete like status, power, money, etc, whereas if people with BPD manipulate it comes from a place of emotional overwhelm, desperation to avoid abandonment, and having been consistently shown at a young age that acting out was the only way to get their needs met.
Yes Kiran ForUnity5!
That's 100% correct!
Nope. Autism is the opposite of psychopathy, both in symptomatology and in anatomy.
@@happypiano4810 thanks for your say. I did watch this TED Talk with a neurologist stating psychopaths tend to have an anomaly on their frontal lobes, which can be aggravated in case or physical/emotional abuses. As to borderline, little do I know too. I’ll read more, for sure.
From personal experience in a past relationship, I would never date someone with BPD again. There is a reason medical professionals are very cautious when dealing BPD sufferers. Yes, everyone is different but the traits it brings out can make it feel impossible to have a real, trusting relationship. At times it just feels like straight up manipulation combined with selfishness. May sound cold but that's how I feel.
i wanted to say that i have bpd and have recently started to take meds and i'm doing much better! but i understand the self harm thing she mentioned and feeling it on your skin. when i was younger i would be so emotional that i would bite my arm really hard to try and take out my anger or emotions, so i definitely relate
As someone living with BPD, this interview meant so incredibly much to me. I have never heard anyone so eloquently express how it feels on a daily basis to live with this disorder. It is comforting to know I am not alone and that other people are experiencing similar struggles. Keep it going, Hannah! You are loved!! ❤️
I love with BPD as well and I find it's the most painful mental illness to experience, I totally understand when she's explaining the fear, rage and love that is felt
I just want to say you are a good person to make these videos to help people understand what is the reality of life for the unfortunate people who are living with their problems.
I notice often that people with BPD try to soften their own accountability for their actions, basically because "they can't help it". I see a lot of those signs with this woman, when she tries to say that the out of control behavior does not make people with BPD abusive or manipulative. At one point she tries to suggest that it's not intentional...but at the same time she admits that when feeling abandonment, they will do *literally anything they can think of* to stop that from happening.
The hurt and the common self-hatred that BPD results in may go part of the way to explaining why this mindset is common in the disorder. I don't think that it's simply an issue of not wanting to be accountable, in every case at least. But what it is, is an example of one of the defining features of BPD: Emotional dysregulation.
That is probably the number one barrier to people with BPD receiving effective treatment. That it becomes very difficult for them to self-examine appropriately, because they (1) have spent so much time hating themselves that any self-examination triggers that further, (2) because they feel it is impossible for them to be any other way, that when the BPD wants to take over it will, and it's "not really them", and (3) they feel that their behavior should be accepted as it is, and understood in the context they would like it to be, because of point #2.
It's extremely problematic though, because INTENTION is not what determines abuse and manipulation. Especially when the pattern occurs repeatedly. On top of that, intention does not exist in a vaccum. If you intended something during an episode and regret it later, that doesn't mean you didn't intend it in the first place. Having a disorder does not give you a pass on behaving in an abusive way, it merely helps to describe the mental state that led you to a behavior. If someone is angry and they physically assault someone, the anger isn't to blame for the assault. The person is. And truly addressing disorders like this REQUIRES that you are willing to be accountable for your own actions, not excusing it away because you're unstable.
i agree with you completely, however i do think you are missing the point of these videos. it’s to show the inside perspective of illnesses and disabilities. there’s a million things written about BPD by people that don’t have it, and this is showing what it’s actually like.
but yes, to reiterate, intent doesn’t count for much when you’re hurting people.
I have this. And everything she says is so spot on. Thank goodness I now have a supportive and loving partner in my life who is helping me get through this disorder I developed from a traumatic past
I would rather not love as well. It’s hard enough to love yourself when you have BPD, and sometimes not opening yourself up to hurt is safer. It’s not the most adaptive, but it’s protective.