BIPOLAR Relationship HELP: Words of Wisdom For a Healthy Marriage
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ก.ย. 2017
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Of all the Bipolar videos I've made so far, this one was the hardest for me personally. Bipolar relationships and marriages can be so challenging that many of them don't survive it. That DOESN'T mean that you can't have a successful, amazing relationship with a Bipolar spouse, however, it takes extremely hard work from BOTH people to make this happen.
NOTE: I'd like to point out that the November article in Psychology Today is an older article and the "90% divorce rate" has struck up some debate in the Bipolar Community. Many do agree, however, some of those who have had successful relationships may not agree. That being said, I still believe it's IMPORTANT for people to be MOTIVATED to change for the betterment of their relationship, and hearing something like this might be intense, but if that's what it takes to help someone change, I figured it was at least worth mentioning in the video. I'd love to see a study done modernly on this topic!
In this Polar Warriors video, I'll share some of my personal experience and some tools I've found that helped my relationship be successful. I hope it helps some people out there to have a better, more successful, and more loving relationship.
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK BELOW =)
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-Rob Whittaker, Polar Warriors: Bipolar Support
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-Rob
I am bipolar 1, my husband has no mental illness and we have been married for 34 years. Yes, he has saved my life several times and I have done terrible things to him. We had four beautiful children, yes I did the self medicating thing, but at the core was love...his love he loved so much that he always held onto me and pull me back from the edge of the abyss.
Renee, thos is encouraging.
I'm in a situationship with someone who has BPD, and I have an anxiety disorder. We're both mental health care users, currently on treatment.
I haven't seen him in a hypomanic/manic state, however I think he has trust issues as his previous partner left after he got hospitalised (according to him). I really love him. I also think I am ready for a relationship with someone with BPD. I have seen how some symptoms can present, I'm a medical practitioner....but I can't say I know what to expect from some I love.
With God and this channel and people with stories like yours give me hope, even though I know it won't be a walk in the park.
I had Clinical Depression a few years ago, and my new woman is BP, so this advice is good to know.
my fiance is bipolar. She needed to be schooled on boundaries. Plus she had to let go of her discard pile. Since we have to forsake all others.
How did you tell him you were bipolar one ? How did he accept it ?
@@ncisept5900 not trying to be the grammar police by any means, but usually "BPD" is used when describing borderline personality disorder. I only say this because I would hate for you to get advice or research something that although has some behavior similar to BP, requires much different treatment.
Ps- I would really love to see your wife do a video and talk about what she’s learned and what she feels like are the best ways to cope and stay healthy as a partner to you.
Absolutely, great idea!
@@Startupsandsushi yea I agree. It may be me one day. I’ve been looking for a channel on the wives tools and coping skills and there isn’t one I can find. It’s so hard to have a spouse who is bipolar.
VERY TRUE .
@@bodybygia While I can absolutely understand where you’re coming from, please do not mention such things on the comments of this channel. So many people with Bipolar watch these videos. There’s always the possibility of someone in a negative mindset reading your comment.
@@luca6394 agreed
Married 13 years and 4 kids with my BP wife. I’ve swam thru the depths of hell to save my wife. Finally understand and see everything before it happens! I’ve finally gathered the courage to set boundaries. Structure and routine as well as LOTS OF LOVE! The harder she pushes the more I love. She in return agrees to take her meds regularly as well as stay away from social media. And whenever she needs to get out of the house she has a chaperone! The symptoms are easy to spot now. Driving fast, pacing the house, losing sleep, agitation. Extra pep in her step! When these are spotted that’s when it’s time to watch her like a hawk.
I know my husband is suffering from this. I’m positive. He refuses to see it. What do I do?
I love you. This gives me hope. I’m sure she appreciates you caring this much to pay so much attention
@@discoisnotdead There's not much you can do. If they refuse to see there's a problem? Than the best thing to do is set them free! I know it hurts so much! It feels like half my heart is gone now. Only thing that keeps me going? Are the children. It's so sad thinking and remembering the good times. It's not how I envisioned my future with her. I was used abused and thrown away! There's nothing I can say that will change your situation. Just comfort, that you are NOT ALONE! There's many of us with shattered heart's and broken dreams. I wish we could comfort one another in person and let out our emotions. But this is as close as we will ever get!
What can be done once we watch like a hawk?
You are a beautiful person. Thank you for loving her.
I had tears in my eyes because the way you described what your wife was going through is spot on what I've been feeling. Thank you for this video.
i am also going thru this with my husband...
Just went through this the first time with my partner last night and had the same reaction.
Me too
I am 2 months in a relationship with someone who is bipolar. To be honest it's not ideal for me I was married to someone who was bipolar in the past and they refuse to get any kind of help on medication. I never wanted to go through that again. But here I am found my night and shining armor but every day decisions are changed multiple times vacations are spoke of and canceled. I can't depend on stability or consistency. The emotional roller coaster is a lot for me She knows she needs the meds but she doesn't want to take him and she doesn't want me to ask She doesn't want me to pressure. So me inquiring about meds and therapy just pushes her further from it So how am I supposed to be in the chaos with no recourse. It would be so much better if she was awful partner but she's one of the best people I've ever been with it And that's hard to lose.
"My wife had really invested alot of herself into me over the years so, my way of investing in her was the committment to keep myself well as best as I possibly could"
HUGE.
Happily, my husband of 40 years is my biggest champion! Thank God for such a compassionate person!
your so lucky
Amy Harvey ❤️
I can't even maintain friendships due to my bipolar and other psych issues. I really admire marriages etc that survive through one person having psych diognoses
fiona scheibel To be honest I feel that way sometimes too. But now I’m learning that anything in this life is still possible as long as I stay on my meds and to manage my mental health better
I have been with my Husband for almost 20 years and I've known he was Bipolar since Day 1. We have never ever broken up and never will. I told him he was stuck with me for Life !! 🥰🥰🥰 We have been thru Hell and Back but we are each others Rocks and Shoulders to cry on !! 🥰🥰🥰
Same here. My husband and I have been married 20 years and he has been Bipolar since day 1. We're really going through it right now since he refuses to medicate (he has been able to function without medication just fine up until now, but his BP is getting worse with age.) The last thing I want to do is give up on him eventhough he makes me so sad and hurt sometimes. I love him more than anything.
@@summergray9481 if he will just try meds, he can do low doses. He might get much better. He needs to do it for himself. I hope he will. Bless you both!
I love you for posting this bro. I fell in love with a bi polar woman before knowing she was bipolar so i really needed this video.
I am right there brother. It has been rough but she is my wife. The caregiving aspect is harder then anything I have ever dealt with. Keep your head up.
On the side of the bipolar wife we thank u...sometimes we need a reminder that we're off the deep end n need to come back..tbh idk how u do it😔 I cant even stand myself sometimes idk how tf could my bf..he must be running out of steam..I hope this vid was the snap I needed to get my sgit together
The Adhd Gardener - all of what you said. Spot on
Been down this road with a women I fell in love with. It was hard. Watching her be unfaithful with other men was a killer. She was a intelligent girl and took no medication. Her whole family denied her being ill.
I would suggest a post from the partners perspective. In my case my partner was bipolar II. She had a trusted 3 friends who guided her through the relationship poorly. As the partner I new little of this until it was too late. Ends up 5 in the relationship is too hard. Love sometimes is not enough to make a relationship work. It takes those trusted 3 to be on board with both halves to offer the necessary support.
Likely run next time I encounter the red flags in a girl like this. Hearts bleed for a long time. Let’s not go there again.
Are you still with her ?
I cried. My husband is bipolar, his mania leads to psychosis and becomes incredibly hurtful strange unpredictable and impossible to communicate with.
I wish I could meet this guy's wife in person so that I could talk to one person that knows what this is like.
Ja Series my heart totally goes out to you. I know it can be so painful to be on the receiving end of bipolar symptoms. The fear, uncertainty, and just how exhausting it can be. I know that so many couples have no idea what they were getting themselves into because like me, they were diagnosed later in the relationship. Something I didn’t mention, (because I wanted to keep the video a little more constructive) was that the relationship ended due to her choice to be with many other people. If we were still together, I would be more than happy to get you connected. If you are looking to expand your support circle, I have a beautiful community that we started through Patreon. I have many members who are the partner of someone who has bipolar disorder. The community is very solution-based and full of people who are truly doing what they can to seek treatment. It’s a good SAFE place to reach out and not be so alone in your experience. There is a link at the top of all my video descriptions if you’d like to take a look. There’s also a book I would like to recommend that made a huge impact on the success of my current relationship. It’s called “loving someone with bipolar disorder” by Julie Fast. You could find a cheap used a copy online, and there’s even an audiobook version. Bipolar disorder can be so consuming, so I encourage you to please make sure you are taking care of yourself... make sure you have your own private support circle, counselor, and help. Take gentle care and stop by the channel anytime. You are very welcome here 😊🤗☀️
-Rob
I'm in the same situation. It's been 3 years and I am finally understanding why he goes from wonderful to hateful and back again so randomly...I wish you the best.
I am married to a man with bipolar, and yeah, I wish I could talk to someone who gets what that is like. Trying to talk to someone else is usually pretty useless. Well meaning friends say that his moods qualify as 'emotional abuse', which only made me feel more isolated. I am not looking to be the 'wronged party' I just want help figuring out how to help. Keep reaching out, because you aren't alone. Feel free to reach out to me too if you need it.
I also am married to a bi polar man and it is nice to be able to find others to talk to because its just to hard to explain to someone who doesn't understand and just thinks we are having a fight when i wasnt even having an issue until he was. He also self medicates with alcohol and will not seek help so here i am 25yrs later moved my daughter and i out of the house and he kicked out my 20yr old and the dogs. He is all by himself and doesn't think he has a problem or done anything wrong. Such a hard thing i really respect this guy for getting help and telling his story it has really made me feel less alone
@@jenniferquirk3485 madam during a maniac state the person himself doesnt know what to do ...he himself cant accept the fact that he is ill as he feel like he has super natural powers .....its just the feeling and illusion ..but the person feels its all true ...ur mentally elevated to 10 times then the normal state ..give him time and take some time ..pls help him ...he doesnt actually realise what hes doing ... He needs medication ...only u can help him ...for any further assistance ..my watsup no is +919037534537....feel free to contact if required ..i really want to help ...
Thank you so much for making this. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when my husband and I were first dating. The day I got diagnosed, my family called him over for dinner and explained everything to him, saying that Bipolar Disorder was very common in my family. We also gave him a list of symptoms to watch for, saying to tell myself and my parents if I was symptomatic. We then signed a contract, saying that I gave all of them permission to tell me if I was symptomatic, and vis versa.
*Edit: We must have done something right because we are coming up on our one year anniversary of marriage!
Congrats, I hope you are still fine?
My wife just sent me this video after a manic episode. I truly needed to hear this. In my manic episodes I can be very mean and hateful and I tend to take for granted the effort that my wife puts in for helping me. For some reason, my PolarHead sees her as an enemy. I just wanted to thank you for getting this video out to people like me and my family. We are going to try some of the principles that you have applied to your marriage.
Thank you x's a million and keep producing quality content!
Cheers from Atlanta!
Omg that's my Bf he sees me as his enemy too......7 years together and 2 Kids
This was the most helpful and amazing video. As a spouse of someone with BP, this truly touched me. Thank you for sharing this.
You do a great job explaining what this is really like
I agree💯
@@peterJoseph33 I have mixed feelings about this statement what comment should I say I do believe that's a market to make money for pharmaceutical companies all of these various diseases but I've lived with a woman my wife for 15 years with this disorder it is real whatever it is that's all I have to say
Can you tell me how you coped
Good
I not only lost the love of my life before I was diagnosed, but I also lost my relationship with my daughter and consequently my granddaughter. I'll never get my husband back, but I hope the relationship with my daughter may someday be healed. Thanks for being here.
My wife as bipolar disorder and we are struggling. Your absolutely right about the spouse losing themselves.
I’m in same boat just starting to loose myself
My wife is Bipolar type1
I’ve found myself getting lost recently and I’m still shaken from it.
She’s had lymphoma for 4 yrs and has had bipolar for yrs(just recently diagnosed). My mental state is fatigued and so drained from this. I know that bi-polar is incurable and there’s nothing that I can do. All I can do is remain supportive until I can’t anymore. It’s like being cuffed to a rollercoaster and not being able to get off.
Same here, she has been on the meds for almost 2 months now and is still moody and irritable, how long does it take to fully recover, sometimes I dont think I can handle it any more.
Same here my friends .
I don’t no what to do no
Wow this is me I just moved into an apartment and I know my wife needs me. This is so hard to deal with I know My mother in law cannot be the support system my wife needs consistently so now I get to deal with this separation knowing my wife needs me but I myself got depressed and almost gave up on my marriage. I was at a point that I needed a break. I felt like no one understands what the person without mental illness it a tough road but I would do it all over again my Love for my wife is that Strong.
Thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear how other wives are managing a bipolar partner. When my partner starts his symptoms it’s so painful.
My husband has learned over the years When to give me space, and that its not about him when i feel a certain way.
I cant see straight from ugly crying. my husband has BP and things have been so hard. I truly appreciate what you do and please do not stop sharing your amazing story. Alot of people need to hear what your channel shares and Idk I know it saved me before and is saving my marriage now
I thank my wife for sending me this video and I thank you for making it.
If you dont mind me asking, does she have bipolar disorder? I'm the one who has it in my relationship and thinking about sending this to my boyfriend so he can somewhat understand better.
Poetry Falcon - send it to him. He will appreciate it.
I just sent it to my husband of 20 years, I’m bipolar and things are are bad rn. This video is a blessing xx
Omgg I m really crying from this video my marriage needed this today thank you
God bless you brother, I have a bipolar girlfiend who I love soooooooo much, but sooo much, you have no idea. Its tough but you are right, she really knows how to love!! with patience and God´s help we are advancing little by little.
😭😭😭😭😭 same here bro.... we can't give them up
keep up the good work. God bless.
I dated someone bipolar and this was so helpful. This was the entire relationship. I decided to put me first and gave an ultimatum
@@Startupsandsushi thank you 😊
I can't believe how strong your wife is. I think im breaking up with mine. He refuses to get treatment, thinks I'm the most horrible person on earth half the time, constantly screams at me. But blames me instead of understanding that its his own symptoms. I don't think i can do this anymore
Thank you for this. I do feel like I die a little of myself everyday. I feel lost. I don't know who I am anymore....wife, caretaker, mother. Are roles I can do and do do. But I don't know me anymore. I appreciate your insight.
Well done you , you are a very brave man. I suffer from G A D and it can suck the life out of you. Where you are week you are stròng , out of your weakness comes your strength. I alwas prah to St
Dipina she is the patron St
For mental illness. I wish you all the best for your future God bless you and stay safe. You are the master of ur own thoughts.
🥰🙏❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
It's so tough I know. God bless x
This was such a power and healthful video. My husband decided to walk away from the marriage to look for someone who can understand him better than the work I was doing. His ups and downs where definitely the hardest part of the marriage.
Mine too.
I am the bipolar one in my marriage. We have been married for 27 years. At first it was difficult but with luv and lots of honest communication we have found sum peace in our relationship.
I was finally correctly diagnosed with bipolar type 1 in early 2009, after years of treatment solely for major depression. In late December of 2009, my wife of over 10 years told me she’d been having an on and off affair for several years, she wanted a divorce, and that one of my children was not really mine. The marriage ended, my heart broke, and a huge part of me died.
Over time, I’ve come to the realization that I have very little to offer any woman and that I’ll be single as long as I live. I don’t want to subject anyone else to having to deal with me or risk myself being so terribly hurt again. I push people away, whether it be friends or possible romantic interests, and isolate myself. Having bipolar means a very lonely life for many people, but I’d rather be lonely than ruin other people’s lives.
Wow i am not alone
We've been together for 41 years and counting. My wife and mother of 9 boys and 3 girls was diagnosed in 2007. It was difficult to say the least. But our faith in God and each other pulled us through difficult times. Our children are very close to us particularly their mother. She's my hero. God bless you brother 🙏💪🤞
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. For the month of July he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
My boyfriend just got out of the mental hospital and doing outpatient for alcoholism. We watched this video together last night. Our relationship is identical to you and your wife's. He asked today for couples counseling. We want to be the 10 percent that makes it.
Thank you for this video!
Update: EVERYTHING WENT SOUTH!
BUT! He is in an alcohol treatment center for the next couple of months. That was the biggest obstacle. Hopefully he stays sober and we can have a better life
Thank you for posting this. I had 18 years of marriage, total 21 years with him. I finally divorced in 2017. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the damage. Something in me died that I can’t get back. He refused medication. I spent most of my life with him,it’s been tough to rebuild my life. My entire existence was about him, his needs and our son. I neglected myself completely, lost my physical and emotional health. Not only was he bipolar but our son had special needs. I don’t remember who I was before meeting him.
This is exactly how I feel but we are still married he tells me he loves me but is not in love with me . And won't leave me I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells. I've been with him for 11 years and hes 11 years older then me hes all I know we have 4 kids together and I feel like I'm stuck I love him so much but I'm tired and I'm becoming mentally drained
@@brokenbutnotdestroyedwalke8137 I'm walking on eggshells every day as well. It is exhausting.
I am currently in this situation and it's difficult. He won't take his meds and we also have a son diagnosed with "extreme bouts of aggression accompanied with mood dysregulation" because son is to young for an official BP diagnosis. I'm at my limit
broken but not destroyed walker Drained and broken are how they leave you.
Diana Peters My heart goes out to you. I beg of you to take measures to care for yourself. I destroyed my adrenal system staying to stressed. He tormented me and I have a child who has hearing impairment, life threatening food allergies and LD.
My husband has been my strength in my mental illness journey, and I am truly grateful that God put his locker next to mine back in high school. I believe many people experience symptoms of bipolar disorder because of the stress they are under due to relationship problems with people in their lives, bad dietary habits of eating unhealthy foods, lack of exercise, and abuse of substances (cigarettes, alcohol and drugs) . I believe the road to wellness requires you to find a balance of health by discovering your inner strength to understand and do what is necessary to maintain it. Life is a hard journey, but it is easier when you have someone you love and trust to help you along the way.
I eat healthy never abused alcohol, drugs or cigarettes and I still have bipolar disorder.
Avoiding drugs and alcohol will help immensely but it might not be enough to cure someone.
So many tears I'm living in your wife's shoes and listening to what you're sharing and it's my life right now. I'm always in the wrong.
I keep watching this Video over and over again looking for a sign of hope and that my partner gets better soon 😢❤ Thank you Rob
I'm going through it now. My wife is bipolar and over the years I have pushed her away. We're in a seperation period right now. One day all is well and we agree to work on the marriage, and the next she wants to divorce me over any minor slip up. I'm doing it all, working, taking care of the kids, trying to help her and the marriage. At times she refuses to communicate and says I'm the worse person in the world. It's mentally exhausting.
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. All patrons can contact him directly by private message and he frequently offers free phone calls!!! If you decide to join, you can mention my name and he will give you a free call. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! We have many family and friends take part. Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I'm bipolar diagnosed at 17 and that's also when I met my husband. We've been married for 11 years. We have a very codependent relationship like you were decribing. Thank you for this video it was really eye opening in reference to my husband. We have some work to do.
Hi Emily! I'm soooooo glad the words helped! This wasn't an easy video to make but I think that total transparency is so important so people can see things that go on that most don't talk about. Please keep me posted on your progress and welcome to my channel! My heart goes out to you guys and I hope you have many more amazing years together. It's a rough road, but the more we learn, the more successful our relationships can be. Hope to see you back on my channel again in the future if a video speaks to you. Take care =)
-Rob Whittaker - Polar Warriors
U r lucky as you still have yr wife . My wife left immediately in a hurry with her belongings cos of my bipolar.
@@peterlhs18 wooow, I'm sorry to hear that, but remember YOU ARE #1! We can only control (or try our best) ourselves. BEST WISHES!
@@peterlhs18, I am so sorry to hear that.
The codependency is so real.....
You are very fortunate that your wife is smart, loving and understanding enough to work through your situation. So many would just call it quits. It’s wonderful you could work through challenges together. That is what a real relationship is about. Communicating and finding solutions because you love one another and value the relationship. Thank you for sharing.
This is helpful. You're clear, concise, and succinct. Your compassion for the community and self awareness demonstrated is such a good example for us with and without BPD. You are addressing your personal experience and specific topics. That is so helpful! The community is being helped more than you know by your voice. Please keep posting more videos. It's more helpful even if things are repeated because the tips and suggestions need to be reiterated anyways. Plus, the information reveals different key tips each time that it's watched. Please create and post more videos. We really appreciate it. L. Vorst, LLMSW
L Vorst Thank you so very much for taking the time to post such a wonderful kind comment. I am so happy about the channel growing and the potential to help so many people. My goal starting this channel was to help as many people as I possibly could so your words really do mean a lot to me. Very warm welcome to the channel and please keep stopping back by to learn more with me :-)
Welcome to the polar warrior club!
This is just what I needed. I feel so bad for my husband now. He definitely is an amazing guy.
Incredible. People need to see this. Going to share and thank you for what you're doing for the BP community.
PLEASE share it. I'm so glad this helped and I hope it helps many couples out there =)
Was with a bi-polar ex-fiancee 5 years, yes many of these things are true. But it ended miserably for us. At least it was a honest reflection of the hardships of both involved. Cheers.
I'm bipolar, but this is how I felt trying to support a husband with C-PTSD which also includes manic and depressive episodes. I don't have psychotic breaks, but he does. I tried every way I could think of to make it better, but nothing I could do helped him, and he refuses to get help from professionals or anyone else. He was not understanding or accepting of my own struggles and would get harder and harder on me the worse my struggle got. Trying to make it work over 10 years eventually almost killed me. After considering it for over 6 months to make sure my decision wasn't influenced by my condition, I knew it had to be over for the sake of my own health. I know that relationships will continue to be somewhat of a struggle for me and that I need to remain vigilant to mitigate my issues. But I found that spending time around someone else who naturally brings out the best in me rather than the worst, wants to understand me, is willing to work through it with me, and feels like a source of stability (without special effort to do anything for me) is making a big positive difference in my wellness that everyone including my therapist notices.
My partner has not been diagnosed with bipolar depression, but it runs in her family and she has all the symptoms. We have been fighting to make the relationship better but nothing was working. One night about a week or so ago, randomly, this video came up on her TH-cam so she clicked on it since it's been on her mind and she made the pivotal choice to get better. Your videos have helped me stay sane when her moods are down. It's a constant reminder that battling this everyday is not easy. Just wanted to say THANK YOU!!!
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story! Having a correct diagnosis opens up a whole world of treatment plans and resources. If you're interested, Rob is offering personal coaching sessions on Patreon! Take care.🙏
Dianna
Polar Warrior Team Member
For additional content consider joining us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Wow...amazing im so happy to see this video ....my husband he is a bipolar he does alot of things that hurts me alot but im always forgiving him even if he doesn't show me that he cares i still know inside him theres this beautiful man i fell in love with two years ago it kills me but i will never give up on him as i love him too much he is my all.
Hi Warriors! I’m 44 and just got a diagnosis of Bipolar 2 with a side helping of rapid cycling, sprinkled with a mixed state. My wife of 16 years has been through the ringer, but she is still here. I feel bad for all the shit I have put her through (it has been a lot). I’m finally getting on some proper medication and cut down on the self medicating (weed). There is not a big enough present on Planet Earth to give my wife for staying with me when I was such a monster. I will have to try to let her know in smaller ways for the rest of my life.
I am so grateful for this video- so many articles don’t recognize the emotional devastation the spouse experiences. Thank you
This is really good information. I sent this link to my wife. I have been trying to send her Bipolar info every now and again but she just doesn't read the articles or watch the videos. But I am still hopeful she will take it a bit more serious and stop seeing me as a monster.
Trevor Field thank you so much for the kind words Trevor. Believe me, I have done my fair share of damage to friends and partners before. Sometimes they get over it, and sometimes they don’t. I think it is wonderful that you are aware and trying to do something about it. I support that so very much and it’s just part of the polar warrior journey. Stop back by my channel anytime. You are very welcome here :-)
I been with the same man for the last 38 years now. And when I met him I was really sick, not just mentally. I had become addicted to pills. He saved my life. And he will not turn his back on me. He said No. And said we are not giving up on you. One day you will be better. I struggle like a many people out there waiting to be diagnosed. I just asked for help 2 years ago. I was not diagnosed with Bipolor 1 until about a month ago. I am struggling alot. It helps to know I can watch your videos and make comments.
This video helps me understand why my spouse does some of the things he does. I resist heavily, but later realize it was for the best.
This is so important and great to hear someone else is bipolar too...thank you
Oh my god thank for this video - has given me some tips and create some changes in my relationship with my husband who’s suffers with a mental illness - thank you pls making more videos !
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. For the month of July he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
It is amazing how different people can have the exact same reaction and life...We are at the getting help point....because 10 years has taken its toll. It is hard for me to trust.. I'm so proud of you and you have gave me strength to keep fighting for my husband I hope he can make progress like you and so proud of you and your wife
Been single for almost all of my life. I’m 40 now, and I had to accept the fact that a relationship is not in the cards for me.
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. For the month of July he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
That is exactly what my wife told me and has told me several times! I hate that anyone would have to think that about themselves. Especially when I know it’s not true
Got diagnosed 30 years ago, I’ve been with my other half for 19 years, he’s stood by me through everything the mania, the depression, the attitude and anger, the being g useless with money, the utter car crash that is my life, but he’s the only person I’ve been with that I’ve not cheated on, had never been faithful before I met him, he’s out up with so much from me, especially the fact it’s only recently that I’ve actually started to take the bi polar seriously, that there is this thing that affects my life, I’ve got M.S and Crohn’s disease and a titanium cage round my spine and just recovering from cancer, always tried to put my mental health to one side and make it out it wasn’t important ( I should know better as I’m a qualified nurse ) it’s finally dawned on me that I need to sort this out finally, and you have been amazing with these videos, it’s made me realise it’s time to take notice. Thank you
Such a great comment. Thank you for sharing! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a weekly support group for patrons only on discord. Would love to have you there!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
My boyfriend and I are both bipolar. We have been together for 10 years. He has never been hospitalized and I have been many times. I am always worrying that I am too much for him. I try to take as much responsibility for my own feelings and behaviors as I can. I go to counseling. We both take our meds and avoid drugs and alcohol. So far so good. I am blessed to have him in my life. I think he is happy to have me also!
Love is so strong.. it sounds like you really love your wife and she REALLY loves you 🤗 I love how your love for each other overrides the illness. You definitely fought the illness!
You are a strong individual my friend. You have done what most with this disease can not. You are so calm and clear headed. My best friend suffered from bipolar and addiction. He refused to get help or get clean. In a fit of rage he punched his dad in the face and got caught with weed later that evening. The judge gave him 2 years behind bars. It’s been 3 months since we have had contact and I miss HIm a lot. Thanks for this video.
My husband of almost 10 years was diagnosed with BD2 yesterday after months of turmoil between us. We’re just starting on this journey of getting help. These tips are pure gold!
I have to start building my support system right now because I have been lost in the emotion and episodes over the last year. Any resources that I can educate myself on how to set the boundaries and making a checklist before an episode would be appreciated!
Everyone needs to be loved and appreciated including polar warriors I Love a man with BiPolar❤️ Neb
My husband only just recently received a diagnosis. I’m learning so much from your channel. It’s a very lonely road but I remind myself that it’s not personal. We are hopeful that he will get the might combination/dosage of meds and your videos are a huge help!! 💜
You have helped me so much this week I have been in a bad mixed state and terrified. You have so much wisdom and a calm voice. YOUR intelligence is so illuminating thank you for your on going vigilance in educating and being there for support . keep the good fight.
You're perspective and opening-up is invaluable, Rob. I never comment on videos but being the spouse of one going thru this, this speaks so much understanding. Thank you!!
Hi thank you for this clip i am so guilty of verbally and emotionally abusing my husband especially when i am going through mania.
He really supported me and i am one of the blessed ones with that kind of support.
Once again thank you for making these clips they are really valuable thank you
This is really validating to listen to as someone who was married to a person living with bipolar disorder. Thank you for being vulnerable and making this! Unfortunately, my marriage did end because he was not yet at the point where he could admit he had an illness and be serious about treatment even after several hospitalizations and a lot of damage. I was unhappy, of course, and my life was much like the one of your wife that you described. I was willing to work it out if he'd take treatment seriously but he could not at that point (I now know that's a part of the disorder sometimes). I had to leave. I'm glad I did for myself, and, as predicted he did finally recognize and get treatment once I left him. I guess it was the wakeup call he needed but I am forever altered because of my experiences with him. I left for myself first but the relationship was way too codependent and I was not helping him by continuing to put up with his destructive behavior. He needed to pick up the pieces alone and I needed to get to a safe environment to hold on to my own mental health and my own issues with anxiety and depression. Thinking of all those in similar situations and sending light. 🙏🏼 Thank you again, Rob! 😊
Hey there nadia ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. He is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now in which he can lend an ear, give advice or answer questions. I think you may benefit from that. Take gentle care.
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community.
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Thanks so much for this, am part of the 10% who will stay in their relationship.
My husband is bipolar n we have been together for six years. He spends all his savings and we have to struggle till he is stable.
You're a shining example to all of us. Thank you so much for being so candid and brave. I was not diagnosed with BP until I was 53. I am 65 now. Looking back, I see that at times my wife of 40 years straightened me out and kept me going. She died last year. Going on is my way of honoring her.
I'm so sorry for your loss! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a support group for patrons only on discord. Would love to have you there!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Sigh. Thank you for validating what we feel as loved ones about our role in the relationship with the person suffering with bipolar. I’m so happy that you have recognized and are receiving treatment.
Hey nice one.... Here I too suffer from bipolar disorder 2. At times its difficult but life goes on....thanks! Ur videos are amazing! God bless...take care!
Thank you for this video-also, intentional or not, I loved the lighting you used here. Half lighting your face felt very symbolic in a way. I’m such a visual learner so it helped me focus on what you were saying to see both sides speaking
My friends say, it's like being on a Roller Coaster. Your videos are informative & are delivered with a calm voice. They help a lot! Keep up the (Great work) creating them. Thanks!
Everything in your video is almost exactly what I’ve went and am going through. It’s amazing and shocking, in an enlightened way.
I’m so glad you found the channel and that the video was helpful. We have a really neat group of people here in this community. If you’d like to connect, or need some extra support, there is a link in the video description where I can be reached 😊😊☀️☀️
-Rob
@@PolarWarriors thank you so much Rob.
I am thankful you put this out there. There are self help groups all over the United States called Codependents Anonymous, taken off of the Alcoholics Anonymous model but definitely different than A.A. I was going to one of these groups for the past two years, it really helped me. It's important to have a good sense of yourself and realize that you can't change other people but you can set some boundaries for what you will and will not tolerate from your spouse or your kids or your parents, etc. And that's not selfish, it is honoring your feelings and not letting yourself become a doormat to someone. I'm so grateful you put this out on here, and even for people who don't have a bipolar spouse, to have a good marriage takes work, you have to keep communication open and like the old song from the 70s, it's not always going to be a rose garden!!! Thanks
Great video! It is a great analogy to other relationships. My best friend is bipolar. I didn't realize he was bipolar until our friendship was developing. You can't just walk away from a person because you have learned he has a mental disorder.
It has been 8 long, hard, wonderful years. I have learned a lot about the bipolar condition. And so has my best friend. I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I feel like she is your angel. She devoted so much of herself to you and I praise you for having come to the conclusions that you have and that you both worked together as a team to help the both of you. I love the love that you two have. Or at least this light that you've painted about this. This is beautiful. Thank you again for sharing.
I love my husband so much he suffers from ptsd and bipolar former us marine but refuses to get help and he’s breaking me and my kids and he can’t see that this video is so powerful thank you 🙏
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. Until September 15th, he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Do I just sign up for the membership I am
Very interested I’m desperate for help I feel so guilty for leaving him
After 20 years of marriage but his behavior is getting it of hand and I have no control over this 😮
I'm 19 and am bipolar. I hope this helps me in the future.
It will
Im 14 and bipolar
Thank you.
I threw away everyone who ever loved me romantically. I choose to be alone now, I’m not ruining any more lives.
God Texas Trump I’m on the verge of a divorce and have nobody. I understand. I’ve trie everything. I mean everything and I still am not better.
Yup... Same thought here.. Better to stay alone than to hurt anyone else
I can relate to this, every relationship and most friendships ended when I was undiagnosed until a mo th ago at 29...i carry 29 years of regret and shame
I can't imagine that was easy for to share your raw truth so genuinely. Your unabashed ownership of the trials you faced and felt by your partner is inspiring. Thank you so much for this video 🙏 A close family member has BPD but was never discussed. Your experiences help me understand that person better and replaces the animosity I had felt for so long with empathy and compassion for their struggles which were hidden from me but done so, as I'm realizing now, were for my own protection. 🙏❤
This channel is amazing. I just subscribed. I found this by acccident!! So happy i did! I watched 4 videos and it's already helping me A LOT. Diagnosed in my 20s and serving in the military. Now in my late 40's grateful for early diagnosis and treatment and wonderful therapists along the way. But the talks here are laid out beautifully and i shared some with my Mom who had a hard time understanding my illness (still struggles with it! But she tries *SIGH) and was very hurtful to me verbally before she started to educate herself over the years. The learning and fine tuning never stops.
Thankyou. A million times over. I’ve been at my wits end and I will ask him to watch this when he stabilises again. This has given me hope where there was none. Thankyou.
blood criesout Your comment is one of the exact reasons why started this channel. I am so glad that I could be of some help. I really know how hard this illness can be, especially on our partners. I’ve done my share of damage. Timing is definitely so important. When he is stabilized, or just starting to show signs of depression and reaching out, that would be the ideal time to approach a topic. I’d like to recommend a resource to you... It’s a book that will teach you so much about the illness from a partner’s perspective and give you a lot of tools to approach the relationship. I’m not affiliated with the author at all. It’s just a book that’s really helped me and my partners. It’s called “loving someone with bipolar disorder” by Julie Fast. You can grab a used copy on EBay for a few bucks. Totally worth it I promise. Stop back by my channel anytime. I have a lot of good information here. Let me know if you have any questions.
I pray it gets better for you and yours
My husband fell in love with me and knew that I had severe bipolar depression and we are still together and still fighting to get my manic spells under control. This video gave us some direction when we were in need.
OMG when I started to learn about it I cried. I told my spouse and family the guilt I felt was heavy. But the love and support I have received is amazing! Thanks for the video
I have a son that is bipolar. Thank you so much for your videos. This has been so helpful. I did send him your videos. Hopefully he watches. It is so nice to see someone put into words what is happening, it is nice to know we’re not alone. His guilt overwhelms him, maybe hearing your videos can help him understand that it is not his choice but treatment is his choice. Your videos are amazing and my family and I thank you!!!!!!
I am glad you have done a vid in relation to partnerships .I think you have a great deal of self knowlede
I am bipolar 1 and my boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic. We are perfect for each other. We get each other
Wow!
WOW!!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. My husband has bipolar 2 and so much of what you describe we have been through. It gives me hope and makes me realise we are not alone. Its also validating because so much of what you recommend we have put into place but there are quite a few things we haven't yet which I think would be a really great idea. Thanks again. Sharing your story is making a massive difference to so many people out there.
I'm a 37 year old grown man and 2 minutes in you have me in tears my man. I can relate to what you are speaking of on so many levels, wasn't married but a beautiful 11 year old daughter a former toxic relationship "we've just began 3 weeks ago to actually meeting" without any arguments or disagreements for the first time we actually listened to each other without judgement. My behaviour cost me the relationship not sure if we'll ever be back together but I live in hope maybe one day. She never deserved what I put her through. Can't thank you enough for the information I've got within a few hours on your channel this evening, other people who have to live with this condition along with their family and friends will know just how honest and upfront you're being when you speak about what you have and are going through. An absolute legend taking this shit head on and controlling the condition and putting procedures and checks in place so the condition can't control you.
Peace and love
So glad to have found you.
kappy131 Me too! My goal is to help as many people as I possibly can. Comments like yours keep me motivated to keep doing what I’m doing. Very warm welcome to my channel and I hope you will keep stopping by to learn more with me :-)
Polar Warriors Thank you! I will definitely be a regular!
kappy131 Sounds great! I try to post new videos every single Monday, so I will have a new one out in just a couple of days. Just filmed the video today :-)
Walking this journey right now, finally getting some answers, thanks for sharing some of your experience
Thank you for this video. So many things that you said about how your wife was feeling were exactly what I’ve heard my husband say to me before in the past, but I never understood it. This was an eye opener.
I’m also Bipolar 1 and have rapid cycling and psychosis. And We also found all of this out after marriage and during our dating I was on my “best behavior” as you said.
I connect to this video so much. Thank you for this. I’m really thankful to have found your channel. I was diagnosed a year ago and am finally accepting it. I’ve been in a bit of denial because I felt shame in being Bipolar. But I’m glad I have a family in this
Thank you for taking time to help us better understand bipolar. My husband is Bipolar and was diagnosed about 5 or 6 years ago. We have definitely had our ups and downs. We have been together for 14 years. Even got divorced a few years back. Lol didn't last long. We were back together 6months later. We are actually going through a rough spot now. He is in the crashing stage. You videos are very informative and helpful in helping me see and learn more about what he is experiencing and that its not all personal. He isn't one to talk about it much. Thank you again for your time and helping me understand the love of my life better. It has really helped me alot and I hope to be of more help to him by understanding him better in a new way.
I must thank my husband for taking care of my needs as a bipolar and still keep a full time job and Work in his clinic. I have never been hospitalized for bipolar symptoms.My 2 children deserve credit too.
Can we get an update on how you are doing with your relationship
I’m so glad I saw your comment. I get so many that it’s hard for me to respond to all of them now. Today is actually our eight year anniversary! It’s been the most mature and harmonious relationship I’ve ever had. Thank you so much for asking ❤️☀️☀️
-Rob
@@PolarWarriors thank you for responding it's amazing to hear and gives me hope as I am the one in the relationship with BP
@@PolarWarriors Congrats, God bless, Really happy for you
My husband and I were having a very hard time with me dealing with my bipolar. I have had bipolar since my middle twenties and I am 74 years old now. We have had our ups and downs but I was basically depressed most of the time but able to function. I had three kids, took care of my home and went to college got my nursing degree and worked full- time as a RN . I was also a director of nursing at one time. I would get restless with my jobs after about 5years and find a new job in the nursing field. It seemed when I looked back on these changes of jobs, places, people and patients I took care of, it felt like I got out of my present job before I may have found myself in some trouble with the people I worked with?? Never did until last job. I wrought up a chart on a patient who was doing very well and dated on purpose for a later date. It’s the only one I ever did that before to. I was going into a manic phase of my bipolar and didn’t realize it at that time so I couldn’t explain why I did it. I resigned after that. My boss said she was going to get my license taken away. When my supervisor or boss found out I was bipolar she kept a close eye on me checking out the care I gave and my charts. This mistake was the first one she found in the 5 years I worked there and then resigned. She was quite happy to see me leave. But I did have difficulty reading the changes in my bipolar moods. When I was depressed I worked through it on my job. And when I was manic I felt great until I got that feeling I needed to change jobs.
1. I need to know where to go to find a good group on line to share with.
2. I need all the advice you can give on where to find good information on bipolar and to help myself become more independent, care for myself and help my family to stop controlling me. And I mean with everything. I need a little freedom and respect. I love my family dearly and appreciate them all. I have appreciated their help to keep me out of any trouble I may of possibly gotten into. But I feel I have lost my freedom after I resigned from my job. I never worked again. I lost self respect. Please help me . Message me where I can reach you. Thank you
@sherriebrown1445 Hi Sherri i hope u get this. He has a fb group i believe. I just started watching him myself as I am bipolar also and am looking for tools to help me manage my symptoms better so i hope i get to see u in the group and i pray that u are doing well.
So pleased to have found your channel thank you for opening up and sharing
Really never thought I’d end up listening to this, but I just need to say thank you. I needed to listen to this. I’m glad you decided to share this. I highly appreciate it!
I was married 3 times in my 20's. I was bipolar but no one knew it. I thought I was normal and just married really rotten guys. I've been single now for 38 years.
I wasn't diagnosed until my 60's. With medication, I am doing ok now. I turn 67 next month and although I am doing good, I have problems with making ends meet at the end of the month. Sometimes, I have to fast for a week or eat beans which I abhor. Adding meds now that I hope will give me better judgement.
I have found out in all this time, that as much as I love my only child, I was very hard on him. I thought I was a wonderful mother but I was self centered, cycled to depression quite a lot. I don't regret having a child but I don't believe I was stable enough to raise one as a single mother, alone and untreated. So if you are bipolar, suicidal and grossly depressed, think about getting help and stabilized, before you have children.
My relationships never lasted more than a year and a half and were very destructive in one way or another. I had a good career at one time but it was the same. 1.5 years and I walked away.
Ironically, now in my golden years, I am quite different but have no family and only one friend because I don't trust myself in friendship and my family, I have hurt too much and have been hurt too much to reconcile. In friendships or relationships, I get either too attached or not at all. Either way, I can get hurt easily and walk away from them and detach totally. The pain is just too much to bear.
So, it's best for me to be alone and stay that way. I've come to terms with that and find that my family consists of a good dog and a great kitty. I'm content with my pets and spoil them rotten but they are great companions for me. They are safe and I am free to adore them.
I like living alone now and wouldn't want to put anyone through my bad cycles, ever. With meds they aren't as bad as they were, back when I believed I was normal. And life goes on without so much stress, that my moods are like a yo-yo. Stress is my biggest trigger. I come and go as I want and I keep myself busy. Most of all, I don't hurt those I care for anymore.
Yes. I'm 28 but I see similar behavior in myself. I have a dog . That's it and all I need. Stress triggers me too.
I’m so glad I watched this video currently going through this as we speak and at my widths end! This is the hardest thing of my life and I am tired of trying everything
Awww thank you for sharing! Make sure you are taking gentle care of yourself at this time. There is a video I made for friends and family that may help. 🙏❤🌞
- Rob
For additional content consider joining us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I'm so glad I found these videos. I went to see someone tonight and I was diagnosed with Type 1 and been watching all of your videos. They are all hitting home so much and opening my eyes. Last year After the birth of our amazing son my wife lost her sex drive. I have been spiraled out of control into Hypersexuality and made a horrible mistake and hurt my wife a few weeks ago. I by no means make any excuses for my own actions and I have to live and accept the consequences. But I can know know why and what happened to never let it happen again. The loss of physical connection in our marriage and my undiagnosed disorder was just a train wreck waiting to happen.
This is only day 1 for me after my diagnosis this afternoon but your videos have been helping so much tonight trying to learn about my disorder and myself. I have been reading and researching my disorder for hours now.
Thank you for making these videos!!
Thank you, for your courage and humility to share your story... I admire your wife for sticking up with you.
Great info Rob! Thank you for sharing.
Thanks so much for taking the time to watch it and for commenting! Means a lot to me =)
This wasn't an easy topic to discuss, that's for sure, and I wish more couples would talk more about what goes on behind closed doors. Lots more videos to come!
-Robert Whittaker, Polar Warriors
Thank you so much for that video. It really spoke to my situation.
This video damn near brought me to tears. My wife has Bipolar Disorder and we are currently struggling trying to get her the help she needs...we've been married for about a year and a half now, and before me, she never really had someone that encouraged her to get help...and sometimes she resents me for "making her go through this when she doesn't want to" sometimes she tells me she hates me and that she will never forgive me as long as I make her take meds and seek help..I can't help but think that everything I do is wrong..but her mother, who has dealt with bipolar her whole life and has (for the most part) gotten to a point where she can control it, has been a huge help and tells me I'm doing everything right and that one day she'll thank me...it's just really hard..
Thank you so much Tyler for just being there for someone who experiences life like we do. The fact that you are searching for answers, getting her family on board, and doing what you can is truly a gift to people like me. You are a wonderful person to be so strong and caring. You are absolutely not alone in feeling "like you can't do anything right" sometimes! Please know that is extremely common for our partners to feel like they are walking on egg shells, or just can't reach us sometimes. It just means that the illness is stronger than the person at that moment... The lady you love is still in there - under all those strong emotions that seam to "take us over." There is a book that I'd like to recommend to you that has changed my life and relationships... It's called "loving someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast. She is a brilliant author and the information in there will blow your mind. A LOT more will make sense if you can check that out. I hope you all have a peaceful holiday season and stop by anytime to learn more with me =)
-Robert