How to STOP HURTING Those We Love - BIPOLAR HELP!
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ส.ค. 2017
- Want MORE personal advice and helpful Bipolar videos that are not on TH-cam? Consider becoming a Polar Warrior Patron here: / polarwarriors
If you have Bipolar Disorder, chances are you have lost at least one friend or relationship in your lifetime due to your struggles. We can sometimes be really hard on our friends, family, and partners. This video comes from a question I received through a Bipolar Facebook Support Group. I dedicate this video to that individual and hope my words help with your growth and struggle. I'm always open to NEW video suggestions, so please feel free to leave yours in the comment section below.
Welcome Polar Warriors! This channel is dedicated to helping individuals, families, and friends who struggle with, or know someone living “the Bipolar experience.” My goal is to provide actual tools, tips, and discuss topics that can potentially help you grow and live a more balanced, peaceful life. I truly hope you enjoy my videos and remember to subscribe so you don't miss a video that could help change your life!
POLAR WARRIORS ON FACEBOOK: / polarwarriors
-Rob Whittaker, Polar Warriors: Bipolar Support
![เปิดบ้าน เปิด Supercar อั๋นโอกิ เคยเอา rolls Royce เเลกพระ องค์ละ 100 ล้าน l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/FeGwJwXauZ0/mqdefault.jpg)
My heart bleeds for anyone who can relate to these videos. It’s a hard way to live. I love you all and I hope we can all find peace and heal
deleting social media helps immensely. your true friends have your phone number and understand you. which is probably like 1-3 people
YES YES YES!!!! I am sooooo anti-social media - especially with what's going on with Facebook and Google in the media. It's a giant trap of triggers and negative stimulation. If it weren't for this channel or work, there's no way I'd participate. Just wanted to say how much I agree =) =)
-Rob
I have been social media free for two years.
M too olmost a year Facebook free I feal I better
Amen
I did that too
It’s hard to tell someone you love with bipolar that they are being hurtful or mean to you, and they don’t have the clarity or awareness to take the feedback and work on it, and instead act more aggressively and harshly and make you seem like the crazy judgmental person. It’s so contradictory to how they tell us to give them feedback, but in the middle of an episode, you give feedback and it backfires. I’m really struggling right now, with a fiancé who in anger and mania called off our wedding and left me to pick up the pieces, call vendors and make the announcement to family and friends, meanwhile I’m upset and sad and trying to act with forgiveness and empathy. Meanwhile they seem like theyre having the best time of their life with zero accountability or responsibility to others, spending money and acting like they’re single as if they weren’t going to get married in three months, it’s so hard, I hate this disorder, I hate it so much, it has tested my patience, my limits at forgiveness while also balancing my own boundaries, how to be and remain loving towards a partner who is acting against you, how do you even plan a wedding when you don’t know if an episode will occur and will completely destroy all plans? How do you plan for anything two months in advance since they can be so prone to suddenly cancelling or abandoning plans?! 😣😔 I want to help my partner but I feel powerless and helpless when I’m constantly pushed away, so I remain on the side just waiting and hoping.
I can relate to you that is not easy 🤪❤️❤️❤️
@@libramagyk”we”? As in folks with bipolar disorder? 😢I don’t want to run, I want to be there for those I love, and if they happen to struggle with an illness, I don’t want that to be a limiting factor for me to love them. I myself have depression and I’ve cut contact with people during my episodes, feeling like a burden to them or feeling like I don’t deserve any love or good in my life, so I do those things like doing them a “favor” and later I realize that’s not fair and it only hurts me more. That’s why I don’t want to run. Everyone deserves to be loved fully. Yes boundaries and limits are important, but so is patience, compassion, and just being there.
@beesonpetals7154, I find myself in a similar situation. It's astonishing how much patience and forgiveness I've discovered within myself, becoming a source for all the anger and frustration.
@beesonpetals7154 are there online communities where people share their experiences and provide support for those dealing with similar challenges? It might be beneficial for us to explore those and find some like-minded individuals who can relate to our situations 😢
My fiance just left me and our boys. He's been in a loop of I love you I don't love you and I just need to move out. It's heartbreaking to have to let go but it's not ok to continue hurting over and over
I have bipolar 2 and I tell my boyfriend that “when I’m depressed, I can’t be as lovey-dovey as when I am in hypomania. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. So please know that I love you no differently. I have low self esteem and be skeptical but I love you.”
That is so awesome! It's so crucial for us to communicate to our loved ones, especially when we are in a more state and better able to having those kind of discussions. Awesome! 🤗🙏🌞
- Rob
For additional content consider joining us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Seriously, resonates self esteem and skeptical, the wrong people around us tend to take advantage of us. And then emotional reactions I feel are others faults, but maybe I also was cruel with people I care about. I’m not sure.
That is great that you get it ! Probably means your relationship will work !
This is really mature. Thank you !
My partner also has bipolar 2, and during hypomania, which seems to happen every year in the spring, he will suddenly grow cold and distant, irritable, and also suddenly break up with me, but then a week later may say I love you. It’s a lot of back and forth. Does this sound like normal typical hypomanic behavior? Have you done this to your boyfriend? I can’t count how many times I’ve been broken up with within a single month.
It’s all about walking on eggshells for those who love you and it’s something that deserves a lot of respect and praise for those who are always there for you! Make sure you let them know you love them and teach them how they can help! They want to know!
True, however, some people Don’t care & Don’t want to help. That’s reality too.
The hardest thing living with my bipolar family member, is losing them. They're a different person and it's like a stranger in the house, sometimes for weeks. Almost 23 years living around Bipolar.😮
what to do so as to treat them or make them heal?
It really is like that. A person you don't recognize!
I really tried to "hang in" with my friend. I knew he was bi polar. I understood his symptoms. But, I could no longer take his abuse. It was emotional and very hurtful. I had to walk, for my sanity. I tried. I really did.
I feel you 💔😔
Even tho it wasnt his intention you did the right thing. I think i m like this and i hurt my friend without knowing it. I finally figured it out why they stopped talking to me and it was my fault. Poor girl 😞
2 ppl household plus addiction on that end as well & I'm exactly there.
Nope, nope & more nope.
I'll still be there (because we became family), but NOT under my roof. I've been done & I need to focus on my own issues.
Got tired of exactly what Rob said "I'm sorry, act like nothing happened" after all the damage only to then continue doing it over n over n over n over again.
No... just no.
I keep expressing it, but can't wait any longer... must make it happen.
If he doesn't believe me that's his issue & not my responsibility.
I don't want him to be stuck, but he has to make sure he's not. Not me.
Anyway, I totally understand you.
Again, I'm still there, but not under same roof.
The better I am the better n more I can help him, but from afar.
Me too exactly! Happy he's out of his depression, but at the same time, sorry for our relationship.
I can relate to this. My DIL is bipolar. Physically and mentally abusive. I cant stand her.
When someone I love understands bipolar I do so much better!
When they don't understand it well, but BELIEVE the diagnosis, I do OK.
If they challenge it, mock me, or think I'm just crazy...well that's the biggest trigger of all.
I felt defensive of this in my younger years as I wasn't convinced I had bipolar myself, even after being diagnosed and hospitalized.
Then I came to realize I did indeed have bipolar, but couldn't find the line between what I could control and what I couldn't.
What was I responsible for? What was I not?
Here's what I learned: I'm responsible for taking good care of myself best I can. I'm responsible for everything really...except the intense FEELINGS-that's my chemistry's fault. SO I STOPPED ACTING ON THEM!...I SIMPLY STOPPED.
I sat quietly in my enormous discomfort. That took practice, practice, practice.
I offered an explanation to those close to me and asked for simple support, often just for time alone.
If someone didn't believe me or made me feel less-than, I offered no defense. I know it's real and that's all that matters.
I learned how to appologize for my mistakes during the toughest of times. Not because I did things on purpose (I'm bipolar) but because I (or my bipolar) hurt someone. But It doesn't matter which. Hurt is hurt...and I am sorry.
Then I grew to realize that just getting thru an episode with dignity strengthened me a great deal.
Now I cause alot less hurt...alot less.
what to do sa as a bipolar change into good person so as not to be harassed verbally or hurting someone?
😭felt
That's amazing!
Amazing
I have hurt my family so much with my words or tone. It weighs on my heart so much. They deserve so much better. I keep pressing forward.
How should they react to your anger and bad words? I'm dying inside, the way my bf talks to me, I don't know how to make him feel better and help him.
All my life I've been wondering why people hate me and why I hate people. Then when I was told by the doctor that I have bipolar, I just isolated myself it truly affected everything. I felt like I am a bomb to any place I go to and I might explode anytime. Thank you very much for creating this video. I'll do all your tips and we'll see how it'll change my life. I'm hoping for a positive outcome.
Did your life improve?
My daughter is battling this. I am trying to get her to be the Observer and to recognize when these feelings arise. Step back and try to be the Observer of what is happening and to adjust accordingly. Good luck. God Bless
Seems to run in the family Of course with my children I got to I get the blame She was no walk in the park Heard of overeaters anonymous meetings Manic Fools Rush in
If it was 200 years earlier I would be on the planes on a horse backwards Waving at Cynthia and Parker
Bipolar has nothing to do with being misanthropic.
Many people with bipolar are VERY loving and love others.
The problem is that the anger and depression can lead to harming loved ones.
Thank you for these videos. As someone who struggles with Bipolar disorder I find your videos give me a moment of relief, just knowing I'm not alone in this.
YES!!! That's the reason why I'm so motivated to do this... I remember how much I appreciated those who were there for me, so I can return some of the favor ;)
This channel has been a dream for a long time =)
No reply.
I agree with you 100% I live with type 1 bi polar and I am dying to have a community of other bi polar cases. I cannot keep hearing the garbage modern medicine keeps trying to spoon feed us. First person experience is the only way to learn this beast, so I am building a community of bi polar people to grow together. Feel free to stop in and chat, man. The more the word gets out the more people can get connected. Blessings!
How did you manage to get the courage to come out in the open? There is so much stigma and taboo about this condition. That makes it so sad. How does one work on that aspect - I mean when someone close such as a narcissistic spouse who ridicules you, does gas lighting and reminds you over and over again that there is a condition.
@@iceboxworldmissions9782 this is wonderful. 😊
I wish my ex-husband of 12 years would have found your videos before he killed all we had. All I can do now is try to pick up all the broken pieces and I don't really know how.
I hope u are okay now
I am bipolar I with rapidcycling. My poor boyfriend is rightly fed up with my crashes. He is my calm, but when I don't get to talk to him, I crash harder. I don't know how to explain to him that sometimes all I need to know is that he is there. My own mind produces assumptions that he doesn't want to be with me when he is just busy. I know I can't be with him 24/7, but I make it such a big deal when it really isn't. I am scared to lose him because of my cycles. I have identified most of my triggers and even larger master triggers but could you make a video for loved ones on how to deal with us when we are cycling or in one state or the other. Especially for those of us that shouldn't be left alone to our own vices and minds.
AJ Deveraux that is a wonderful comment. I’m so glad that you shared all of that and what you described is very common for both us and our partners. It really takes both people to make a relationship successful with someone who has bipolar disorder... we have to become really aware of how our symptoms affect our partner and make sure we do everything to prevent symptoms... our partners have to become educated about bipolar disorder so they know the difference between symptoms of an illness, compared to just taking everything personally. There is so much I can say about this and I will do my best to make a video like you recommended. For now, here are a couple of videos I made that might help:
th-cam.com/video/14b-xeAzwB0/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/JPXq2g05JhM/w-d-xo.html
There is also a book I would like to recommend to you that has really changed my life and especially relationships. It’s called “loving someone with bipolar disorder” by Julie Fast. You can grab a cheap used copy on eBay if you’d like. It’s an amazing book for us and our partners. I couldn’t recommend it enough. I hope that helps a little bit and stop back by my channel again.
I’m experiencing the very similar thing. It’s exhausting
Does bipolar cause teouble thinking
Does bipolar cause teouble thinking
Straight up admitting that you are not in a good mental place to talk is so helpful. If I can avoid a triggering conversation because I know it will put me in a bad place it’s like a lifesaver.
I can't remember a day I have not thought about killing myself. At 5 yrs old I stuck a boning knife in my hand thinking I would bleed to death by morning. I was so depressed when I woke up because I was still alive! My life dragged on minute by minute, second by second. This continued for decades. At 31, I gave up on men. I'd been abused, used and wasn't a good man picker. Had been married to 3 men, none past a year. The 3rd one beat me, humiliated me and was very emotionally devastating to my ego. I ran as fast and as far away from him as I could. Terrified to be all alone but I have been now for 36 years. After my parents passed, I was so depressed that I couldn't look for work.I lost my property, home and everything I owned. Became homeless on Dec 7th and drove to another town so no one would see that I was sleeping in my car. I was about 60 then. Got sick, got a real bad cold and thought I was going to freeze to death.I got to stay in a homeless shelter for about 3 days before they kicked me out for oversleeping. Make a long story short, I ended up in the state mental hospital for 3 months. When I was released, there was no room for me to go to and was handed $50.00 and released to my car. I was not medicated correctly and I shook so badly. I studdered and spilled half a cup of coffee just trying to get it up to my mouth. I had a good State nurse and caseworker. Within a few months of being off all the meds from State and having meds that didn't really help much, I stopped my studdering and shaking, she got me into a apt. My ssi came through and I got a cat. I was given furniture for free, and a plate, knife fork and spoon and I began to recover. I lived there about 2 years with the cat that I adored and then, my neighbor crazy person... killed my cat. He was poisoned and suffocated inside a garbage bag then taken across the street and put in a dumpster. The trash was picked up the next morning. There was nothing the police would do, she was only seen crossing the road with a full backpack and coming back with it empty.A victim again, she had murdered my only family. Afraid to go to the hospital, I sat alone in the dark crying for days, when my counsellor came to check on me. I was in my rocker not wanting to live anymore but I had nothing to kill myself with. Not even a sharp knife or enough pills. I kept asking God what I should do. I wanted to hurt the person who killed my cat so badly, I was afraid if I saw her that I might kill her. So full of anger and depression that my heart was irregular and my blood pressure soared. I was willing myself dead. That was all I wanted in life, to be dead! The pain was so bad it made me lose consciousness and I didn't wake up for two days. When I did, I took my meds and I survived. The next thing I did was pray. It was the best thing I had done for myself for days because I heard the voice of Jesus! He told me to be kind in all things, that he was coming soon. And he took all the pain from my heart, and I stopped crying and began living. Every time I though of the murderer, I said those words over and over again. Soon, I was happy. Within 6 months, I rescued a little dog from the shelter and I saved her life. 6 months later we saved a full grown cat. Now I have a family who I love dearly. My dog turned out to be a Schnoodle. My cat a happy inside, fellow. We have all bonded and I confronted the person who killed my cat and she now stays inside her apt and bothers no one. I'm almost 67 now and feeling better than ever. I and my dog go everywhere together. We have fun together. Both my furkids know I saved them, but they really saved me. I struggle some still but I havent had a bipolar low since. God is good! Sorry this is so long, I want to give you hope that things will change if you want them to bad enough. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Just remember, "Be kind in all things!"
This was an awesome story!! 💜 Pray you and the fur family continue to be blessed!
Omg. This was so accurate. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is bipolar. I’m not sure I can do this. Too many heartbreaks he has caused. 3 years of emotional abuse. 5 times the cops were called. And within 6 months, 15 times he has uprooted the house and taken everything down off the walls, threw stuff away or burned it in the fireplace. Right now he is in a mental hospital because after a BAD manic state mixed with Alcohol he had (behind my back), I didn’t understand how and why he was being so evil, I felt so scared and got a Order of Protection served to him. After the police escorted him out of the house, he drove to the VA and sat in the parking lot cutting his wrists. He called me so many times last night as he was driving, crying saying how sorry he was (blah blah blah) this is so old. It feels like I’ve become numb to all of his apologies, because he has destroyed this relationship over and over and over again for 3 years, that I don’t know if I have any more compassion for him because of how he’s been treating me. I have a lot to think about. All I know is right now as I’m typing this and he is 50 miles away in a mental hospital, for once in about 6 months, I feel like I have come up for air. Sigh...... I’ll admit, I’m glad he is not near me. Maybe that’s my answer......
Abusing another person is NEVER okay regardless of what medical conditions they have. Heavy violence like this is not typical bipolar behavior. In fact people with bipolar are more apt to hurt themselves than to hurt others. This is NOT okay. Please reach out to your local woman's shelter or organization for domestic abuse. They might provide resources like counseling and peer support. Your not alone my friend. Take gentle care.🙏
Dianna team member
Rob: I really need your help to keep a good thing going here... PLEASE consider supporting Polar Warriors work on Patreon. Even just $1 a month makes a huge difference. Thank you so much
Polar Warriors Thank you for your kind response. I really needed that. I will look into those resources and donate 🙏🏼
My son is 20 and has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for several years. When I speak to him in a kind way about issues with not helping with chores and I feel continuously overwhelmed, he gets argumentative and very mean. He does work and helps with bills, which I have always told him I appreciate it. I'm unable to work because my daughter is disabled and I'm her caregiver. He and I had a bad morning today because I expressed to him that I'm feeling overwhelmed and unappreciated. He told me he hasn't been pulling his weight because he hates living and is depressed. He has a therapy appointment this week and I pray that it helps. I really thought he was doing better but now, I'm unsure. It really is heartbreaking 💔
I am so sorry you're having this trouble at home. Please know you are not alone! There may be a local support group for family and friends that can help which are always free. Or consider seeing a therapist yourself. I believe everyone can benefit from it. It helps you set boundaries and how to enforce them, work on goals and of course a safe space to just talk. Everyone needs that kind of support system. If you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and we have a support group for patrons only on discord. Take gentle care!
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
@@PolarWarriors thank you so much 💗
I just wanted to say that I’m sorry that you were going through this too. One of the things I noticed about my family member with severe BPD is that they struggle to stay on their medication. This makes me watch carefully to learn their baseline behaviors, and it helps me to detect when they’re off meds.
Unfortunately I always fall back to the same pattern. I treat the people I love the most like shit, I am taking my medications regularly but it doesn't always help. When anger gets the best of me I lose control of myself, it is like having a big monster inside yourself that can suddenly ruin years of efforts.
Hi
I hope you are doing better. I’m not sure if this is a part of my family members BPD, but she has expressed pleasure in hurting other people in the family. I’m trying to figure out ways to hold her accountable for her behavior, especially the hurtful stuff and I’m also trying to understand why .
When I’m learning, it’s that you can have BPD and other types of disorders at the same time. But I’m praying for her and I’m praying for you too.
I honestly am so tired of trying to manage this emotional rollercoaster especially being an empath, I am just numb and living this way is nonsense. There doesnt really seem to be a way to find balance and even more frustrating a purpose to not only put myself through constant misery but my family and friends as well. Why does it have tp be this way!😔
Feeling the same no doubt
Feeling the same way... I hate this crap
Empaths need rest and/or isolation to regroup, meditate & recharge.
It's a lot & many don't understand.
I am living through the same thing. I have struggled my whole life with this condition. I cant seem to find a way out of it. Everything I try to do seems to fail and it feels like there is no end. I've been to soooo many doctors and none of the meds help me. they tend to make it worse. I have trouble finding anyone to talk to because I just cant explain myself to anyone properly and I just end up hurting their feelings. School and the pursuit of education has been nearly impossible for me and I'm struggling to find my place in this world. Its just hard when you feel like you don't belong anywhere. I had an alcohol problem for years and I managed to get sober and I have been able to stay sober for 7 years now. But I lost all my friends and social circle due to that. currently it has gotten so bad that I am unemployed and I'm trying to make a living doing other things. I feel for anyone who has to endure this condition. If you are suffering the same way I am, I am really sorry. This channel is really helping me understand myself and these videos are helping my family better understand me. Honestly, I really look up to channels like this. It makes it seem like its possible to get out of this and live a normal life. As impossible as it may seem I will keep fighting and I wont give up or give in to these feelings. I hope each and everyone going through this makes it through.
I relate to this so much. The same has been happening to me. It feels like there is no hope. I have thoughts of killing myself so I can no longer hurt anyone else ever again. It’s dreadful. I’m only 21, and I know that I will have many more episodes and hurt more people. Because of this, I have made it my life’s mission to serve humanity in any way I can. I’ll use my highs to be creative and make people smile. In my lows, I will withdraw myself and deal with the pain alone. I’m ready to accept the suffering and do my best. I will fight for my people, the people who struggle everyday with Bipolar. Until the day I die, I won’t stop looking for a solution. I love you all and take care of yourselves.
It is so sad that we won't be knowing what we are doing while hurting them and when we become ok..all you can see is your worst mistakes and guilt
I just get so f***ing angry when they don't understand what I'm going through or it's too much for them or they're scared about it. Part of me knows it's not right but I just don't want to be the one comforting them when I am the one going through the pain.
Savannah Bluford so you’re bipolar and selfish. Makes sense
I think that my bipolar brother feels that I deserve to be treated badly because according to him, he is the one who has the right to hurt me He is always right and of course what i feel or think or do doesn't really matter. He has never apologized to me for being a jerk. I know he is sick, but my heart doesn't recognize that when he uses me as his punching bag.
I rant away 3000 miles and 4 years live totally alone,to not hurt anyone,it's my disorder,no one else should suffer,I downgraded my jobs,now working as delivery man ( art director in past),only after 3,5 years start to understand that they miss me and that hurts,they don't know anything ,but to me it's safer like this,then live in that surreal blaming game,I miss them sooo much,and they think I'm bad person.So miserable.
I feel you.
Your loved ones are human beings too, of course they are scared and stressed by your episodes and verbal abuses against them whenever you are feeling down, it is not fair for you to use your mental illness as excuses to hurt your loved ones, it won't resolve anything for your suffering.
My first reaction is to say “I love you, but I think you are having an episode today and I don’t want it to damage our relationship by what you might say or how you might treat me” and to leave for the day. Is that okay? I don’t want to “abandon” him but I feel like it’s the only thing to keep us out of that “I hate you, now I’m sorry” cycle. I try to be supportive some days but others I feel like it’s smart to remove myself until he comes out of it.
It always depends on the person. If your significant other can trust you, yes I think it's a good option.
I had this cycle in my last relationship, but in the end we broke up.
She couldn't take me any longer but also didn't said what she thought.
I think being open and honest is a important factor in a healthy relationship.
Dealing with adult child with bipolar can be very very stressful and sometimes extremely painful experiences, when he or she is having his manic depression episode, they use parents as easy target, making up stories, launching personal attacks, blaming parents for their miseries, to me, enough is enough, it has been affecting me tremendously, I finally decided to set up boundaries and keep distance from my abusive adult child, because I need to think about my own well being also. Sure we parents should have compassion for our mentally ill adult children, but it is just not fair to put us through such endless abuses that is literally destroying our life, I feel such emotional pain she put on me is beyond any language descriptions.
Hi
I am very sorry that you have been going through this. I have two siblings with severe conditions of BPD one of which is in her 50s and it’s just now being diagnosed. I’ve been subject to abuse by one of my siblings, and it just seems like there are patterns in a BPD patients that they exhibit even on medication and I feel like that’s why therapy is very important. I’m trying to learn how to hold my BPD family members accountable. I noticed patterns in their behavior that are similar. It’s very tough to maintain close relationships with them because they’re unhealthy and on and off medication. It is sad and I pray for us all.
I think you’re great. My family has never taken the time to educate them self on bipolar one. Today, Mother’s Day, I sent my daughter 2of your videos and I sent my partner three or four. My partner was immediately responsive. He came to me and hugged me and cried. Let me tell you he’s never liked it when I cry. I’m crying now. I’ve been checking out videos because I have a lot to offer. I can certainly say I’m text book. I say that because in my abnormal psychology class my instructor told all about me then and today. I’ve moved out of state twice now to get away from my family. And x laws. I’m 57 and waiting to see if my son and new daughter in law text me...god forbid a call to say happy Mother’s Day. I’m preparing myself. Last year he waited until almost midnight. So today is a huge trigger day. Thanks for your help.
Great tips, thank you Rob. I also really like reading through the comments where sometimes people share their coping strategies... real life examples help! My heart goes out to all who live with bipolar - those actively working on managing it, those in denial, and those who are simply unaware of what's wrong. The Polar Warriors channel can be a game changer.
I'm bipolar. Starting treatment in a few days. I wanted to run a little experiment.
So I smoked a bunch of meth, just to compare it to my manic days. And I'll gotta say, my brain is a lot stronger than the drugs.
I'm clean now and have no plan of using again. Hopefully I'll be starting some kind of mood stabilizing medication in about 20 days.
I've been off my original medication for just shy of a year.
My advice, don't get off the medication alone. Talk to a doctor. Figure it out. Ive alienated everyone in my life, drove away my fiance, and got fired from my job for trying to kill a coworker.
I've been completely alone for about 9 months now. I don't talk to anyone besides the gas station clerk.
Don't do what I did.
Try your best to get better.
Don't fight the treatment.
It's better to be at a normal level than it is to be striving for mania.
Don't quit your medication.
Don't give up.
Just keep moving forward.
Devon Ray Thank you for the advice.
💕
Devon Ray get better friend!
Devon Ray thank you
Please stay strong. Help is on It's way!❣
I have a suggestion that I discovered by accident. I often shop on the Home Shopping Networks on T.V. & often talk on the air. Well one time while they had me on hold to give a testimonial, I thought it would be fun to record it. (& they often will say," remember to keep it short, 1 or 2 minutes." & I really thought I did. WELL, when I heard myself on the air, I could not believe my ears. The poor host could not get one word in. She was very calm, & said thank U so much 4 your call, more than once . She thanked me & said goodbye, I was talking so much & so fast I continued to talk about another 10, or 15 min longer not knowing she said goodbye UNTIL I watched the recording.!st of all it took her a good 5 min to hang up without it looking like they had to cute me off, then I continued. I'm not suggesting U record yourself on the air, BUT do have a loved one record U when U R manic. We know we R bad, but not this bad. At least I didn't. I have bipolar 1 by the way :(
Hi.. I have been watching your videos for 2 days.. I’m so glad I found you.. I was diagnosed with clinical depression a long time ago.. I will be 50 on the 13th, because of the depression I started self medicating for the past 3 years on and off.. in the process I have lost my job and car in 2016... my children are grown now and it’s just me and my Yorkie Poodle.. but after watching your videos.. I finally got the courage to call and make an appointment to see a therapist on the 9th.. thank you so much for sharing.. and It’s good to know that I’m not alone.. so please keep sharing!!
Tammie White sending much ❤️
I hope your journey has been a positive one this past year!
Tammie White I hope your journey is going well. Never give up no matter what because you matter so much.
I lost costody of my two boy 6 years ago and I started a treatment medication and now evrithing is better but is a battle be positive and for ale ur madicacion
It’s so overwhelming to even know that you are hurting your love one. And at least is doble the work for me mentally because I don’t want to hurt but in the other hand I have this anger and sadness mix with a little bit of everything in btw that it makes me go even crazier. To you all bipolar warrior, thank you for your stories. I was diagnosed with bipolar just 3weeks ago.
You are so spot on..it is something l learnt to do early on..to remove myself from a bad situation when l might lose the plot. It is so easy to react in anger rather than try to control ourselves..one thing that my family and friends agree with about me is that my ' yes' means 'YES' and my ' no' means 'NO'!..lf l say l will do something l carry it through..my word is my bond. Mind you it is very difficult at first, with our impulsive ways and racing thoughts..takes a while to do. One thing though, always keep a sense of humour, and keep trying. If you're running a race and trip over, you don't lie there forever..you get back up and keep going x
Krazy Kris Fantastic comment! Thank you so much for the kind words and for taking the time to watch my video. It has been so awesome connecting with other people who share the same struggles and just being able to help others. I hope you are having a peaceful week and feeling well my friend :-)
-Robert
I just found your channel and wish my partner and I had your videos as a resource long ago. They are so on point. I left him a few weeks ago after 8 years and it sucks, I really didn't want to have to go. But admitting you have a condition and then taking responsibility for yourself is so key. Otherwise you just keep fighting over the same old things, which really aren't real anyway since its stuff fabricated from a mental condition. Its not solvable you have to get to the core which is management and treatment, then handling the bad days best you can. Apologizing with grace and not taking your loved ones for granted. Maybe that is what makes the difference between a toxic relationship and not toxic, toxic you dont take responsibility for yourself and not toxic the bad shit still happens sometimes but you do take responsibility for yourself. I dont know, it really pains me to be a mental health advocate but have to leave my parter becuase of his condition, which was making me literally sick with stress. I had to go to save myself and be safe. I wish eveyone the best in their relationships, even in therapy I felt we needed so much more help. 1 hour therapy every couple weeks is like swimming in quicksand.
Did you guys ever get back? I’m curious how it ended. I just left my partner feeling the same thing as you. It made sick and very stressed…
My husband goes from I love you to i dont know if i love you. I want you to I dont want you. When manic, he withdrawls ALL love and respect. When depressed, he leeches to me. Its so cruel. My therapist said that being bipolar doesn't excuse emotional abuse. Right now he is hypomanic and cold and rude with me 24/7 for no reason... He claims to be unaware but doesn't seem to care. Some days he questions if he is bipolar and he often is paranoid about meds. In General, he is 95% self focused. He quickly forgets the yrs i cared for him. He also blames the marriage and me every single time he becomes manic. He is toxic to me and our cgildren but i have fought to save us for yrs. He doesnt ever want to acknowledge anything that his bipolar mother does to him is a real trigger. I get all of it, regardless of what ive done and how hard i have tried to help him.
i know exactly how you feel. My wife is the same. sometimes she hides behind her bipolar and almost uses it as an excuse othertimes she wears it like a badge of honour. Ive suffered physical abuse at times and mental/verbal abuse daily at times. I stick with it because of the kids. as the older 2 have grown i have seen them sucked into it and used myself as a buffer often deflecting the flack away from them. at the best of times my wife is a know it all, at the worst of times shes impossible.
I’m so sorry. I’m so guilty of this myself. It’s like being on a non-stop emotional roller coaster. I feel like my poor husband and child get the worse of me. Having bipolar disorder is no excuse for our emotional and sometimes physical abuse toward our spouses or children. I feel so terrible about the way I react towards them at times. I don’t really know how to describe the overwhelming rage I feel rather I’m manic or depressed. I would like to thank you for loving and supporting your spouse through it all. I understand from my own personal experiences with it myself how very difficult it must be to love that person especially when he/she doesn’t want to truly accept accountability for the his/her actions. It isn’t easy by a long shot I applaud you for seeking counseling and still hanging in there. Please don’t give up or lose your voice. Stay strong and keep fighting for you and your loved one. We usually only mistreat those we assume will never leave us. For this I’m truly sorry. Hope this helps some. 😃😇
I sooooooo know what you are talking about. it hurts so much, but you can't stop loving that person. it really sucks.
That sucks
Leave him
FINALLY SOMEONE WHO CAN SEE THE TURMOIL I GO THRU DAILY..THANK YOU AND KEEP THOSE VIDEOS COMING...THANK YOU
Dude if your seeing this I want you to know you saved my relationship ❤️
Alex Rodriguez I’m so happy to hear that! Maybe consider checking out our Patreon community. I hope you have a wonderful start to your week :-)
Thank you for this. You are doing a great thing for the bipolar community. Bless you.
Thank you so much for your kind comment Allen! :) We appreciate it. If you haven't yet, I'd encourage you to check out Rob's private community on Patreon. He posts exclusive content there of a more personal nature and members can contact him directly through that platform. I'll include the link so you can check it out! I hope your week is off to a good start :) Take care. -Rachel (Polar Warriors team member)
www.Patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I just ruined another relationship tonight. It hurts man. It hurts soo bad. I keep hurting people I care about. I can’t stop it. I feel like shit. I wish I didn’t have this. I see all of these people running around and are able to regulate their emotions. I keep messing up and I don’t think I’ll ever see the light on the other side of the tunnel. It’s not a way to live life. I can’t stop it. My emotions take hold and I can’t stop them.
I’ve hurt so many I love. Especially my husband of 9 years. I’m a rageaholic. I’m crashing hard right now. I so want to do better!I’m realizing my medication isn’t working and I need to get it fixed. I need to talk to my therapist soon. I think my mom is bipolar but undiagnosed. She goes into these mean moods much like me or she gets into these crazy shopping moods. It’s like watching myself watching my mom with these moods. Thank you so much!
From a guy who has been in the hospital a few times over 25 years, your knowledge of bipolar is off the charts!
I keep a rant journal and a gratitude journal in notes app. in my phone. So when I get super upset I can yell at my phone and keep those notes about why I was upset and not yell at somebody else and not send a bad text to someone. I try to put things that I feel happy and joyful about in my gratitude journal and I can go over them both later on when I feel better to see how irrational I’ve been being or if I am actually feeling well because all I put in was gratitude. I also keep notes about what I want to talk to people about when they’re not around where I can’t talk right away.I do this so I won’t forget what issues I’m upset about or things that I want to praise or compliment a family member on. I seem to forget constantly.
Thank you so much for this video, I had difficultly understanding why I kept pushing away those so close to me constantly, over and over again. It kills me that I keep hurting those so close to me after I do the damage. This genuinely gives me a sigh of relief that something can be done to amend this issue I have, hopefully it's not too late.
Edit: I did it you guys. I took my first step and went to see the drs to get myself help.
I'm glad I found your channel tonight. I'm undiagnosed. I been treating her like crap.. say mean things to her just for no reason. I was stuck in the I'm cycle. She told me one night that I might be bi polar and to get an evolution. I never did I said I'll go multiple times but never gone thru with it. She wanted to get help. I self medicated myself with alcohol/drugs. For years. But it has climaxed this past Saturday. I ended up doing something bad when I was in angry mood. She has since pushed me out of her life and doesn't want me around. The sorry cycle got old and I'm not seeking help. Today I'm calling my local clinic to make an appt. I'm hoping the can squeeze me in today. I want to get better and learn how to have healthy balanced lifestyle. She means everything to me. It sucks I had fuck up.. after fuck up till I majorly fucked up to decide enough is enough.
My now 42 y.o. daughter has been Bipolar for more years than I realized. I thought she was a free spirit. I’m more educated now. Thank you for your videos 😍😍😍
You have the knack of articulating the life of being bipolar. Not easy to do. I have been living with this type of Mental Illness for 47 years and it's such a hard illness to describe to family and loved ones.
I was kinda in a relationship with a guy who is Bipolar.
I always thought my love for him will be enough to make it work. He constantly pushed me away whenever we were getting closer. Like every 2 or 3 weeks his feelings to me changed and I was too much for him. 3 times he was about to leave me. He always told me he's afraid about the future. We had a long term relationship and yeah it sucked but there is always a chance to make things work. When he came back after he pushed me away, he always told me that he's glad that I didn't left. I always told him, no matter what, I will stay. One Week ago, he told me that he has to leave me now. Now he has feelings for someone else and we don't talk anymore since 1 week... I don't understand. I feel so broken. I can't stop blaming myself. I went trough a lot with him. 1 Year.
But I totally would take him back, any time.
Wow you’re amazing! My last partner left me due to my bipolar, but he denies it and will blame it on other things.
I wish he’d give me another chance, despite the fact he doesn’t want me because of my illness. He made promises to stay, and I wish he would have. It hurts a lot!
PLEASE MAKE A VIDEO ON BIPOLAR DISORDER AND PARANOIA IM STRUGGLING WITH THIS AND CANT FIND ANY INFO ON IT
Samantha Vega I will definitely make a video talking about that because I struggle with that myself. When I experience a mixed state or dysphoric mania, I get paranoid about all sorts of things… Specifically the government, disease, my fears coming true, what people think about me, and so much more. What has helped me a lot is just recognizing the patterns of what I always focus on when I feel like this. Usually it’s the same few things. I get so obsessed that it’s hard to break away and just stop feeding into it (like turning off the news or not reading about negative things). That’s something I’m still working on. I will do my best to make a video talking about this soon. I have a few videos recorded that will be posted soon and a couple more to work on but I will definitely get to this topic so keep stopping by my channel :-)
Polar Warriors hey man..don't let THEIR diagnosis keep you uninformed. The government isn't our friends. This has nothing to do with paranoia, but facts that the gov is not acting in our best interest. This also seems intentionally put into these disorders because they do NOT want people questioning the government. You are not paranoid when it comes to them!
Im bipolar and there are times when I have been treated badly by family members (not just badly, but with malice) and my angry gut reaction somehow made it worse. It’s so hard to stay calm during those moments in particular because my reaction feels justified.
Very helpful to family supporters living with a Bipolar family member.
I don't know if I'm bipolar, but this definitely speaks to me. My relationship just ended because I took out my frustrations on them. I always feel horrible after it, but I just don't notice myself in the moment.
After 18 years shrink talk lots of fifferent medication .i found your channel. 14 3 2018.at this moment i am manic and listen video after video and you are telling me more than the shrinks tried for 18 yeasrs.thank you so much to educate people with BP or people who wanna know more about it.very usefull.
bianca dongen i’m so glad that you found my channel! I have gone through the same thing… Trying to find a really good doctor shouldn’t be as hard as it is. One of the reasons why I started this channel was to fill a very obvious a gap in information. I will have lots more videos to come, so stop back by anytime. You are very welcome here :-)
Could you do more on denial? And talk more about typical male bipolar behaviour? Denial and the masculine role seem to go hand in hand. And please some more about how untreated depression can grow in to a bp2. You are doing great and important work.😊 Love from Norway.
Man I have repeatedly over 21 years done the text thing and even worse it's got to a point were I have alienated everyone. I feel inside that all I have done is unforgivable I've been given chance after chance yet I still cock it all up I won't go out for weeks because I can't face anyone. I wish everyone that I have offended knew about you sir because you explain it all so well
Alan Harrison I fully understand you, I alienated family members many years ago by my actions & phone calls. Even certain friends that knew me from school age. I did try to explain & say how very sorry I was. I moved house to a different area to make a fresh start yet fall outs with toxic neighbours would start. Things are better now for me & I avoid toxic people & especially people I can't trust. The one thing amongst many that I did that helped me was to get rid & distroy my mobile phone in 2017. I have managed so well without one as I have a house phone to make & receive calls. Honestly for me it was the best thing I ever did. I'm no longer tempted to send texts in a negative way. I come from a disfunctional family & i'm the youngest of seven siblings aged 58yrs. I have had no contact with them for several years since my parents death, my life has proved much better for this as they all tried to control me & put me down because of my bipolar disorder. I've tried to tell my partners parents to watch these Polar Warriors video's yet as I was saying it to them they showed no interest & it did fall on deaf ears. Don't continue to punish yourself Alan about everyone that you have offended over time. If they really understood you they would make an effort to perhaps listen to you & your apologies. People with mental health problems are misunderstood yet many people who claim to be "Normal" have many more issues. No feelings, no empathy, selfish, hurtful, rude etc, etc, etc... Trust is the main thing in a relationship & friends etc... Be very careful who you confide in, as I did once for it to backfire on me in a bad way. It's not easy I know but maybe making new friends if you can may help you. Remember when you isolate yourself for weeks on end because you say you can't face anyone for things you've said or done. Those people won't be hiding away indoors or even giving you a second thought, only voicing their opions & gossip with others. Are these people really worth upsetting your life & sleep over? I think not..... Your comment registered with me & how I used to be & feel til I made changes in my life. Life's too short to worry about how others feel about you & more to the point stop causing yourself such unnecessary stress. Hope my comment is of some help to you, take care & be safe 🍪pocket England.
@@biscuitpocket7283 that has really hit me deeply you seem to totally understand thank you so much for them comments I I identify with everything that you say it's like exactly the same as the things I have done and you know how it is I felt like no one could understand it I'm 49 but you know I'm going to take onboard your comments thank you my friend
Very helpful valuable advice. My daughter has managed in highly responsible way her bipolar disorder for 20 years.. she was diagnosed at 16. Life has often been hard for her. I have not always been helpful.. taking very personally things she has said and done when on the emotional rollercoaster. Best advice.. just take a break … no interaction at those times seems to do any good.. wait for the anger to pass.
You are doing such important work , Rob. Thank you
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. For the month of July he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Thank you so much for this video this is literally what I’ve been doing lately. My boyfriend treats me so well and does so much for me everyday. He cleans up my messes when I’ve been depressive, he listens to my manic rants and wild ideas. But he also tries to show me the logic past my emotions. Which of course triggers me and makes me feel like he doesn’t care about my feelings.
He is also bipolar but he has been on medication for 3 years and uses daily exercise as his main outlet. He has created a daily routine he must stick to or else he pays for it later by drawing his bad feelings in alcohol or just being irritable with everyone. I have recently been diagnosed and he is watching me struggle through all that he went through. I take out all my bad moods on him… my mind takes me into a dark paranoid place where everyone is out to get me.. it’s starting to take a huge toll on our relationship and I really don’t want to lose him. I’m going to try the things you said here in this video. Please make more you’re so helpful I appreciate you!
this brought me to tears I cant believe I'm genuinely not alone
Take a minute when you go from calm to manic damn near impossible. Hard to change this.
I love this woman so much an not having her is pushing me to anger
This is the first video I've seen on bipolar. My husband was diagnosed 4yrs ago, we've been together 15yrs n we knew something was going on with him but never knew what it was. I've Googled bipolar n read as much as I can to learn about him. I had many many questions n he didn't know the answers, but last few hrs I've been on here searching for bipolar videos to see if I could learn more about him n why he keeps doing the same shit over n over risking to lose me n I thought he didn't care about my feelings. I'm EMPATH N super sensitive, so you can on you can only imagine what his anger n my emotional ass is like day by day. But we love each other so much we won't abandon the other. I've thought so much about leaving lately bc he promises to not do it again then goes n does it again n I felt like he didn't care about my feelings n he didn't love me anymore bc why would he continue to do something I can't deal with crossing my boundaries repeatedly? But everything makes sense now. I'm so glad I didn't leave n now I jus need to kno how to help him. How can he help himself to do better for me. He's not currently on medication bc he won't go to the doctor. He procrastinates alot saying he will go but never does. I need a lil help to understand how to help him bc I love him dearly. Thanks.
Hey there ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. For a very limited time he is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now in which he can lend an ear, give advice or answer questions. Take gentle care.
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community.
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I just want to say thank you 💕 for so long my husband and I have struggled but I know he loves me very much. Long story story (very long made very short lol) we now understand better why we struggle. Your videos are truly helping me understand him so much better and how I can support him and our family 💓
I'm in the same place. I hope you and your husband are still doing well together.
You explain this so well👏🏼 thank you 🙏🏼
This channel has been amazing. I'm finally starting meds going down the right path but to hear some explain what I'm feeling helps so much.
Thanks for your videos and tips!
So proud of you man the more i hear about your life the more my respect grows
Amazing how you talk so calm and soft. That calms me. Thank you. I feel there is hope.
Thank you for all videos. It helps me a lot!
Recently in a manic state, I deeply hurt my friend's feelings and I haven't talked to her since, because I don't know how to apologize or explain, especially since she has problems with severe depression. Stuff like this is my biggest fear so the fact that it ended up happening to this friend with terrible emotional struggle really gets to me when I'm in a depressed state and worsens suicidal thoughts. This video is something that I needed, thank you!
I too have trouble communicating important things orally, it's okay to do it in a form that is comfortable to you. I myself write letters, emails or texts. Just remember to never start a sentence by "You......" , instead "I feel, .....when, ......I need..... They are called I statements.
If you need to talk to someone immediately,
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
Rob:
I really need your help to keep a good thing going here... PLEASE consider supporting Polar Warriors work on Patreon. Even just $1 a month makes a huge difference. Thank you so much
I just found your channel today and have to say it is like you are describing myself and my husband. I am actually thrilled to find this channel. It has been very enlightening and is helping me understand what is going on and how we interact with each other. And it all makes complete sense. Thank you for sharing!
I love your videos. Thanks for taking the time to explain things for us, because they don't always listen to what we have to say. They think they know it all or that their way is better. Bless you!
Perfect. Thx man. Another great made video bro.
excellent video, thanks for doing this.
Thanks for the video, you help me understand my friend who acts like that.
The ups and downs, the mood swings their emotional roller coaster ride, the frustration it puts on a friendship and not knowing why
Now I understand it
Thanks again for your help
I am BLESSED that I discovered your videos...Thanks loads
I wholeheartedly agree with this video. Thank you
Thank so much for this video. It really helps me to heard that I'm not alone but helps me more have some technics to not hurt my love ones. Thank you 😊
Was waiting for this. Thank you! I'm sharing this with a patient who is having a lot of problems controlling his urges. God bless you!
Love the way you describe a dark part of my life and help me understand myself.
Thank you change my life
I am very manic depressive I absolutely ADORE you you always explain Everything so well that I never know how to explain to someone
Yes thank you my relationship was on the brink and I hope that I can save it knowing this
Your videos are very helpful.
Thank you for the help that you provide.
Wow..you are amazing. Thank yu for making these videos...
I just found this channel and I've watched several videos already and I absolutely love it. It's so so helpful. I've struggled with bipolar disorder 2 for about 4 years now (it got bad about 4 years ago anyways) and these videos help me with so many aspects of it not to mention how they explain so many things that I never understood before. Like the emotional drive by. I lost so many people from that and at the time I never realized what I was doing or how often. I almost lost my best friend. We're still close but our relationship will never be the same. When that was happening I didn't even know I had bipolar disorder. I was going through so much and I only felt comfortable sharing it with her but when I was so low in my depressive state I couldn't seem to consider what she was going through. I'm subscribing right now. Great job and keep it up!
Did you get any help?
Thank you so much dude, this really is helpful, can’t believe some of the solution can be so simple. I got to the point where I knew I would have bad days, and was able to control myself to some degree, but it was really painful because I was still keeping it all to myself. But now I imagine that having people around who know what you are going through would alleviate a lot of that pain because you aren’t walking on eggshells so much but are instead in a supportive social environment.
Thank you for caring and your response. I think what you are doing is so amazing. I recommended your channel to my Dr. Told her to check it out and maybe it can help someone else too.
Very grateful, thank you
another amazing video keep it up
Thank you for your videos 💓 I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder 2 week ago and I'm very new to this. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us 🙏
Excellent! Truly educative and helpful.
Thank you for your absolutely incredibly, informative videos. You really are an amazing human being for sharing everything about this subject. You really have helped me to understand and love someone unconditionally, with a bipolar disorder.
Excellent Topic. I felt so identified
Your educational videos through your own experience and understanding of bi polar disorder have been very helpful for me identifying my triggers. Thank you for your gift of offering these videos. God bless
This is incredibly insightful. Thank you so much! I’m going into the field of Psychiatry, and yet I’ve never, ever found any mental illness described so humanely and eloquently. Wonderful educational video. Extremely insightful. Also shedding light on a personal level so thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️
Thanks again
You are an angel... thank you! My son is so grateful for the tools that you’ve given him through me!
Thank you so very much for your input. It means so much to hear from someone who had seen or been on both sides of a Bipolar person and their episodes. I suffer from Depression but I take my medication and when I don’t it’s bad. I completely get not likely medication but the alternative is not pretty for anyone,
That deep breath was nice.
Great points.
Thank you for all of these amazing videos, so helpful as someone who's trying to support a friend who believes he may have BPD. He can be really abrasive for no apparent reason. And he tends to shut down/withdraw. He's told me more than once not to take his behavior personally. I'm conflict-avoidant by nature, but don't want to have resentment build up because I'm afraid to tell him how hurtful his behavior can be. I've told him I'd appreciate him saying he's really struggling & needs space vs. just disappearing for days or weeks.
Same too, it’s horrible & really resent my mood changes & lost people I love simply because of it. Thank you for your supportive videos they help.
Your videos and my diagnosis is lots of years to late. But, keep up the great video's, I feel there is alot of us out there but we just dont realise it yet. Depression is such a cruel disease. Good luck to ALL who suffer.
It really help with the why, what just happen & how to mitigate & focus 1 thing at a time.