You’re right, brother. Invisible labor is real, and it’s something that many husbands don’t even recognize. When wives carry the bulk of the responsibilities at home and with the kids, it creates an imbalance. Marriage is a partnership. When both partners contribute equally to the emotional and physical labor, that’s when you experience true harmony. It’s time for us men to step up, be more intentional, and support our wives in all areas. Have you had a conversation with your wife about how you can provide more support?
Brother, what you’ve pointed out is a sad reality for many, but let me challenge you with this-what we focus on, we manifest. If men continue to chase temporary satisfaction, they’ll miss out on building a lasting, trust-filled relationship. The truth is, we need to shift our focus toward the deeper connection, where trust becomes the foundation. That’s where real fulfillment lies. It’s time for us as men to lead with integrity and demand better for ourselves. How do you think we can shift the narrative?
@@CouplesAcademyAs you mentioned men are natural leaders so once they globally shift their focus I believe women will follow. For now only those strongest and most grounded women stand on being good and trustful and those STRONG women quickly understand being strong makes them not want a man really at all. Men should desire Godly women who are feminine still and gentle and they should gratify them by choosing supporting and never humiliating her soft heart so she can stay in her calm and warm ambiance and feel safe staying there with him bc he the strong leader is there for her (and not for the undressed fun). It is not worthy for most women to await a husband, most cross of the list being a mom too bc most women understand she gotto have to be strong bc men would fail. Men cheat. Men do not wait until she get her libido back after the birth of his son. Men entertain sweet smelling office women who never folded his clothes never washed the toilet seat he uses everyday. Men appreciate all the features his wife doesn't have bc those features are new. Men like novelty. We women gotto be sooo strong to be taking it all. If I'm supposed to be strong then what the men for? Once men stop turning soft and Godly women into soldiers the world will be better. Women sacrifice so much for men to like and support and desire women who did literally nothing for him in the name of his ego. Women are tired and quit it all together. Or else they start undressing. Very few decide on becoming Mother Teresa for life.
@@CouplesAcademy I guess when men start chosing Godly women and gratify them with marriage and loyalty then all undressed women will scratch their head. Men are leaders indeed. For now it doesn't make sense for women to be good. Nobody cares about her Godly heart if she don't invite him in on the first or second date latest. Lust run our society. Eastern European army used to have these pills to silence lustful thoughts of young army men. Maybe these could be the solution I don't know .... 🤔😉
@@CouplesAcademy men must change the attitude entirely. Men are leaders and without their change women will not. Today regular average good women give up on dating because they lose any hope for trustful man. Women give up on motherhood give up on "dreams" of marriage like they used to dream ages ago. All the girly stuff inside of women have been broken down to the point women chose military etc.bc ppl can count on women today being strong and resultant. Other women monetize the men's lack of integrity. All this the result of men being such leaders and women having eyes open. We will not change the world by closing women eyes. Men must change it by leading into other better directions.
Thank you, sister! It’s a topic that touches so many areas of our lives, and it’s important to bring these discussions to the forefront. What stood out to you the most in this conversation?
Welcome to the family! We’re glad to have you on board, and we look forward to engaging with you as we dive deeper into these conversations. What topics are you most excited to explore with us?
@@CouplesAcademy You're welcome. I love how Danielle shared her perspective. She is telling the truth. So many times when a woman has success, she wants to feel that her man has her back and that's the main thing she needs. It feels good when a spouse can manage the home to take the weight off of the spouse that is knee-deep in running a business. We need our man more than ever and I agree, if I can make my own money, pump my own gas when I am low, and call in contractors when my house needs attention then what is the true benefit to having a spouse. I want to feel safe, protected, and secure that my husband has my back just as much as I have his, and admittedly even more so. I view my husband as my rock. Many women tell me today that they are experiencing the " I can do it do it by myself " syndrome and they are not afraid to leave and start over even at a more mature age. The only part I disagree that all or most women in today's society want to be successful outside of the home. There is an entire movement of women who want to stay home. ( I just heard about this from a friend of mine.) I know some of those who want to go back to the days of "let me stay home and take care of the kids, and be completely dependent on my husband "They could care less about running a business or having their own separate identity apart from their husband. Many women I know are driven, myself included, and every now and again my husband and I have a discussion about what it takes to make us both feel valued in this relationship. Keep in mind when you are considered a "power-couple" the struggle is real. lol
Thank you for your continued support! Danielle always brings incredible insights to the table, doesn’t she? What part of her input spoke to you the most in this episode?
Yeah I disagree with her at 26:50. A lot of women dont wanna "build" right along with the man. They want to help but not get in the trenches like we do. Anyhow great podcast and this deserves a lot of views and shares.
I hear you, brother. There’s a common frustration that men sometimes feel when they believe they’re carrying the heavier load. But here’s the thing-relationships are about alignment. If you feel like you’re in the trenches alone, that’s a conversation that needs to happen with your partner. It’s about building together and finding balance. How do you think we can create a better understanding between men and women about what it really means to "build" together?
You’re absolutely right to feel empathy, sister. Single mothers carry a heavy load, balancing the roles of both provider and nurturer. It’s an extraordinary responsibility, and they deserve our support. It’s important that as a community, we step up to help, whether through emotional, financial, or practical support. How do you think we, as a society, can better serve and uplift single mothers?
I know so many women that want to be wives and mothers exclusively that aren't of religious communities. It's definitely not for me, but those women are out there
That’s an important point. There are many women who still desire to be solely focused on family, and they don’t necessarily come from religious backgrounds. The key here is that every individual has the right to pursue the life that aligns with their values, whether that’s career, family, or both. The goal is to create a life that brings fulfillment. Have you had conversations with these women to understand what drives their decision?
Thank you so much! We’re committed to bringing real, relevant conversations that hit home. What part of the discussion resonated with you the most? Let’s keep this dialogue going!
Sister, I hear you. So many women have felt that tension between wanting to fulfill their roles as mothers and wives but facing the realities of financial pressure. We live in a different time where dual incomes are often a necessity. But remember, your role as a mother and wife is still powerful, regardless of whether you work outside the home. It’s not about how much time you spend in each role but the quality of time and the love you pour into it. Have you found ways to balance these demands?
Absolutely! The Proverbs 31 woman is often misinterpreted as someone who did everything on her own, but the truth is, she had help. And that’s a lesson for all of us. We don’t have to bear the burden of everything ourselves. It’s about knowing when to lean on others for support and building a strong network around us. How do you balance these expectations in your own life?
yup, I hear you. Many women have dreams and aspirations that go beyond traditional roles, and that’s a beautiful thing. The key is understanding that being a wife and mother doesn’t have to be at odds with your professional goals. You can create a life where both are possible, a life that fulfills you in every way. How have you been able to balance your career with your personal life so far?
@@CouplesAcademy things are going well, some days better than others, but it helps that I have my parents to watch our son whenever we need a date night. My husband and I are still working out the kinks with parenting, and of course a bulk of the duties fall solely on me.
Absolutely, brother. There are many cases where men step into the emotional and mental support role just as much as, or more than, women. This is why it’s so critical to recognize that each marriage is unique, and the roles aren’t one-size-fits-all. Whether it’s the father or the mother, the goal is to create a partnership where both parties support the emotional needs of the family. How are you navigating this role in your own life, and what challenges have you faced?
Yep this happens a lot and yall need to bring it more to light ! Hopefully you do something for urself and have the same conversation that we as women have with our men. You to deserve to set boundaries and have a safe place to express how u feel and take action
Thank you! We aim to bring clarity to complex topics, and sometimes a good analogy is the best way to connect the dots. Which analogy stood out to you the most?
She is right when a woman dream of marriage and being a wife the dream is a wife and mother with a nanny and maid and be the brains behind the husband. The dream wasn't of cooking cleaning and being the call on person for the children. No one wants to be Cinderella before the marriage
You’ve captured something powerful here. Many women envision marriage as a partnership where they contribute intellectually and emotionally, not just through domestic duties. But oftentimes, the reality of marriage can feel more like being overwhelmed with household tasks. That’s why it’s so important to have clear conversations about expectations before marriage and ensure both partners are on the same page about their roles. What are your thoughts on how couples can build these discussions into their relationships?
You’re absolutely right. The expectations on women today are tremendous. Many are balancing full-time careers with full-time roles at home, and that can create overwhelming pressure. We need to have more conversations about shared responsibilities in the home and how to support one another in marriage. What strategies do you think can help couples achieve a healthier balance?
I never dreamed of being a maid . I never dreamed of staying at home and not having a career. I also dreamed of having an equal partnership, who works together in love for the goals of the family. I never dreamed of being a kept woman, that was never my goal. Just an equal partnership where we use our skills and abilities for the success of the family.
When you articulate, you’re nagging, complaining, when you don’t say anything, you didn’t communicate your needs. A man’s job is to provide, but in most marriages, women are providing all these services to the man. What do men provide in a marriage?
Men provide protection, leadership, guidance, finances, love, and covering. I know in todays time you can pay to have most of these things but if the world ever becomes lawless again like it was back in the day or if another C19 occurs, you would never ask what do men do. You’ll somehow not only know but you’ll also understand it. ❤
I feel your frustration. Many women feel caught in this cycle where their attempts to communicate are misunderstood. But communication is the lifeline of any relationship. The key is to have those tough conversations early and often, ensuring both partners are on the same page. How do you navigate this communication challenge in your relationship?
@@popa213 I can pay for all those services except for love, that’s what I need from a man is love, everything else is a bonus but I want the priceless things of love
I never dreamed of just serving my husband and kids. I dreamed of loving and being loved, loving each other. I dreamed of having a partnership. If we both work outside of the home we should both work inside of the home. Whatever our skills are we should use those in the marriage to reach the goal of the family. I dreamed of being in a loving relationship not of being in a dictatorship.If the man isn’t putting in as much work as a woman it’s going to be an issue. Also I didn’t become a licensed clinical social worker to be a stay at home wife. There’s a season for everything, but if your partner doesn’t hear or care what you’re saying how can you go forward?
Brother, I hear you. Walking the path of Christ requires dying to self daily, and that’s never easy. Temptation often presents itself as the easier path, but in the long run, following Christ leads to true peace and fulfillment. It’s a journey, but you’re not walking it alone. How can we support you in staying committed to this walk of faith?
Yes, going back one or two generations, there were many women who wanted to be a wife and mother and that was basically their only option. In my 54 years, I have yet to meet another woman who just wants to be a wife and mother. Today’s women want careers and have their own ambitions. They want marriage for true partnership. Men aren’t dealing with yesterday’s generations of women; they’re dealing with today’s women who want to partner alongside their husband, not beneath them. Women were told they could “have it all”, men heard women can “do it all.”
You’re absolutely right. Times have changed, and with that change comes a shift in expectations. Women today are ambitious and seek partnership, not just the traditional roles of the past. It’s about evolving together as a couple and respecting each other’s desires and dreams. It’s important for men to understand that today’s marriage is about mutual support, where both partners pursue their goals while still creating a strong family foundation. How do you see men adjusting to this new reality?
I see anger on both sides online. Women are tired and unwilling to continue shouldering the bulk of the domestic while also contributing half of the financial responsibilities and overcompensating for another adult who refuses to own untraditional duties. While anyone can provide extra support when needed, the traditional expectation is unsustainable. Men are defensive, insulting, or minimizing in their comments. Occasionally, more evolved men reasonably comment, only to be targeted by the angry. It’s no secret a “red pill” movement is proliferating due to deeply misogynistic influencers capitalizing on male disillusionment. As women have found their independence, men have felt displaced and dismissed, unneeded. While the media encouraged women to fly, a vision for men was neglected. The best I can remember is “Mr. Mom”; while heartwarming, it failed to inspire. I also see fear in the anger of men, as if they lost their identity outside of a traditional role. They stubbornly cling to the past, as tradition provides a sense of security. Adapting their approach would require humility and growth - a painful process. Yet, adapting would benefit men innumerably as new strengths would rise to the surface, as they have with women. In the relationships of my adult children and their friends, I see a deliberate pursuit of full partnerships, each person operating in their strengths for the enrichment of the relationship, and learning together when knowledge or skill is absent. Witnessing two people working together in love is a powerful thing to behold. Imagine, if men and women could put aside their egos and work together, it would change the fate of families and the future.
I think a lot of women want to be a wife and mother BUT we also want to go to school and have a career. If I married a millionare and I have dated one. I would be okay with staying home but at that point I will just be working on fitness and hobbies. It's too boring just sitting at home. Modern women know what they are capable of and they don't just want to "serve". They want to live life
Married 10 years have two small children looking to separate because as a mom I work full time out of the home and full time IN the home and it's too much. I ask him for help and it's like such an imposition. I'm not dealing with this anymore.
Wow most of my married friends have this same story, what is happening with men carrying the family. It’s not even infidelity it’s like laziness carelessness and coldness from the husbands
@@AugLaz2 yes "laziness, coldness, carelessness" 🥺😢 idk it could be the podcasts. My husband mentioned the word "simp" and we don't even talk like that but I know that's the language that these podcasts use. It's very sad to see and experience. But I'm okay with regaining a healthy mental and emotional space even if it means not having a nuclear family unit but our kids will be well rounded, happy and productive.
I repeatedly asked my ex for the same help. After not getting it, I repeatedly asked to go to marital counseling. He again refused and made excuses. I was dangerously hypertensive, morbidly obese, miserable and literally dying. I finally had enough and realized I was a single mother who happened to be married. I was done and checked out. I planned my exit and relocation. Got a new job in the new location. Researched schools for the kids. Choosing to live, I left. I got every other weekend off while he took the kids. Why the hell did I wait so long? I got my life back, lost weight, got healthy and I’m doing great!
@@MsP0624 honestly this is so encouraging. I'm glad you're doing so much better. I have a few questions 1) how did the kids manage the transition? 2) you obviously did this for you but did your ex ever finally understand what you were trying to say to him- like did he/does he understand how he wasn't showing up for you? Sidebar: my house is messy and not the way I want to keep it. If I ask my husband to clean up he's annoyed. We finally talked about separating and I told him I want to sell the house. Do you know now he starts cleaning? So he only cleans when the house is going to be sold. I can't take it. Otherwise I'm cleaning up after me, the kids, and him- no thank you.
Sister, I feel your pain, and you’re not alone. Many women face this same struggle of carrying too much of the load, both inside and outside the home. It’s crucial that both partners contribute to the household responsibilities. A marriage can’t thrive if one person feels like they’re doing it all. Have you considered sitting down with him to create a plan where the responsibilities are more evenly distributed? Sometimes, it takes an open, honest conversation to bring about real change.
A lot of people want to be married but not husbands or wives … wow I think men are often open to remarry because as the word says they are likely to enjoy the privilege to rule over their spouse, having things their way. On the other hand most women feel they had the shorter end of the stick and depending on how much it pained them, they are not willing to go through that again.
Men don't get rulership over the woman they marry just because they are men. Men remarry because usually they want a woman in their life so they numb themselves emotionally and get back out there. Divorce for men can be a great chance to improve yourself and become a better man. Women on the other hand close themselves off from new love to avoid being taken for granted again etc. You never hear men saying they don't need women. Men will at least want sex and love again. But women don't bestow rulership and authority to a dude just because you propose. Most men looking to remarry are courting women who have already been burned in other relationships or previous marriages. They not going to easily yield to a man. We not remarrying because we want to have our way. We aren't going to get our way.
You bring up a powerful point. Many people enter marriage without fully understanding the role of a true husband or wife. Marriage is about selflessness, partnership, and shared responsibility-not ruling over one another. When a marriage is out of balance, it can create deep wounds, especially for women who feel unheard or undervalued. That’s why we need to shift the conversation towards creating mutual respect and partnership. How do you think we can help more people understand the true meaning of marriage?
@@CouplesAcademyShow some case studies of success in varying and even inconvenient or unorthodox situations - couples overcoming adversity or differences to enjoy the fruits of a strong marriage. For these generations you have to show the benefits, especially for the women
Something that I think that you guys may have missed around the 37:00 mark is that even though God made Adam and Eve sprititually equal and equal in dominion, Adam was still the leader. Nothing happened when Eve bit the fruit but when Adam did God called out to him to see where he was, held him accountable first, and gave him his consequences first. Adam was still the leader and it is so even now. Men are the head and are still held accountable above the woman.
Brother, you bring up a deep theological point. There’s a reason God held Adam accountable first, and it speaks to the responsibility of leadership in the home. Men are called to lead, but that leadership should reflect Christ-leading with love, sacrifice, and servanthood. True leadership doesn’t dominate; it uplifts. How do you see this principle playing out in today’s relationships, and what can we learn from it?
Also because the question of where was Adam when she was being deceived. I think that is also why God held Adam accountable first. We see this in the present when a husband is not being present in the marriage relationship.
oh my goodness. For the first 10-15 minutes you’re whining and complaining that for the wife “she’s overwhelmed” it’s too hard. I was staying at home dad. I had a business and I was a stay at home dad. I did both. I was fine. I worked during the day. I took care of the kids at night. Did Cleaning babysitting change diapers did all of that. Exhausting, yes but it was Life. it was a good busy. It was a good exhaustion. Today, Life on the domestic front is so much easier than our parents and our grandparents. I never saw my mother or my grandmother, complaining and whining about all the work and take care of the house and the kids and because husband was away at work. No, this is a new thing with wives. please stop making excuses for today’s wife, Christian wife as well, who complains about them being too overwhelmed. Because they waste so much time on social media. They compare themselves to others. They’re not happy with what they have. They’re discontent. And then they have their feelings and emotions and their hormones disrupting them at the same time. Addressed the real issues, the real elephant in the room..
yeah, sorry. I had to stop watching and listening at 15 minute mark. The wife pandering was 500%. I guarantee you that this guy, this husband, will not stand in opposition to his wife on anything. He will be 100% agreeable with her on everything. Unless she brings up an issue of some kind in defensive of men, he will not say one thing in defensive men against his wife. It’s like he is being held hostage by his wife. He must be in perfect agreement with her, otherwise he’s the bad guy. Show me one thing, one issue, one video where this guy flat out tells his wife “I believe you’re wrong”. Bye.
Woman get married looking to be spoiled. Men look for a wife to add value to himself and produce his seed. Lack of selfless love makes marriage tiring. It's good Christ didn't give up and get tired!
You’ve hit the nail on the head, brother. A lack of selfless love is at the root of many marital issues. Marriage isn’t about what we can get; it’s about what we can give. Christ’s love for the church is our model-He gave everything for us. When both partners commit to loving selflessly, that’s when the marriage thrives. How can we encourage more couples to embrace this kind of love in their relationships?
Sister, your desire is valid and beautiful. For some, being a wife and mother is the highest calling, and that’s something to be celebrated. It’s about knowing what fulfills you and pursuing that wholeheartedly. How has your journey as a wife and mother shaped your life and your sense of purpose?
Sometimes, it’s true that people get caught up in the fantasy of the wedding day but aren’t fully prepared for the work it takes to sustain a marriage. Marriage is about commitment, sacrifice, and partnership, long after the wedding day has passed. How do you think we can help more people prepare for the realities of marriage before they say "I do"?
The curse was not that Adam would rule over Eve, He already had that position in the Earth he named everything he even named Eve. Pattern of heaven is Christ is equal with the Father yet He lived to obey the Father. Philippians 2:6-11 Christ obeyed the Father then the Father exalted Him as His Crown . The woman is mans Crown,
You’re pointing out an important truth. The relationship between man and woman is not about domination but divine order and partnership. Christ and the Father exemplify this balance of authority and submission in love. In the same way, the woman being man’s crown speaks to her value and honor in his life. How do you think this understanding can reshape how we approach marriage today?
oh my goodness. For the first 10-15 minutes you’re whining and complaining that for the wife “she’s overwhelmed” it’s too hard. I was staying at home dad. I had a business and I was a stay at home dad. I did both. I was fine. I worked during the day. I took care of the kids at night. Did Cleaning babysitting change diapers did all of that. Exhausting, yes but it was Life. it was a good busy. It was a good exhaustion. Today, Life on the domestic front is so much easier than our parents and our grandparents. I never saw my mother or my grandmother, complaining and whining about all the work and take care of the house and the kids and because husband was away at work. No, this is a new thing with wives. please stop making excuses for today’s wife, Christian wife as well, who complains about them being too overwhelmed. Because they waste so much time on social media. They compare themselves to others. They’re not happy with what they have. They’re discontent. And then they have their feelings and emotions and their hormones disrupting them at the same time. Addressed the real issues, the real elephant in the room..
![Why Your Wife Secretly Resents You [The Truth Husbands Don’t See]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3_cuywvUmtA/mqdefault.jpg)
My Wife was talking to me about Invisible Labor and how it takes a toll on Wives when they don’t have help with kids or domestic support
@@ScaryToRemarry please listen to her 🙏🏾💐 and create time where she can relax.
@@EButta71 I do!
@@ScaryToRemarry that's awesome. She'll be more present with and for you. God bless you all 🙏🏾💐
@@EButta71 thank you! 😊
You’re right, brother. Invisible labor is real, and it’s something that many husbands don’t even recognize. When wives carry the bulk of the responsibilities at home and with the kids, it creates an imbalance. Marriage is a partnership. When both partners contribute equally to the emotional and physical labor, that’s when you experience true harmony. It’s time for us men to step up, be more intentional, and support our wives in all areas. Have you had a conversation with your wife about how you can provide more support?
Men gratify women who are lustful much more than women who are trustful.
It is very sad but it is the reality.
Brother, what you’ve pointed out is a sad reality for many, but let me challenge you with this-what we focus on, we manifest. If men continue to chase temporary satisfaction, they’ll miss out on building a lasting, trust-filled relationship. The truth is, we need to shift our focus toward the deeper connection, where trust becomes the foundation. That’s where real fulfillment lies. It’s time for us as men to lead with integrity and demand better for ourselves. How do you think we can shift the narrative?
@@CouplesAcademyAs you mentioned men are natural leaders so once they globally shift their focus I believe women will follow. For now only those strongest and most grounded women stand on being good and trustful and those STRONG women quickly understand being strong makes them not want a man really at all. Men should desire Godly women who are feminine still and gentle and they should gratify them by choosing supporting and never humiliating her soft heart so she can stay in her calm and warm ambiance and feel safe staying there with him bc he the strong leader is there for her (and not for the undressed fun). It is not worthy for most women to await a husband, most cross of the list being a mom too bc most women understand she gotto have to be strong bc men would fail. Men cheat. Men do not wait until she get her libido back after the birth of his son. Men entertain sweet smelling office women who never folded his clothes never washed the toilet seat he uses everyday. Men appreciate all the features his wife doesn't have bc those features are new. Men like novelty.
We women gotto be sooo strong to be taking it all. If I'm supposed to be strong then what the men for? Once men stop turning soft and Godly women into soldiers the world will be better. Women sacrifice so much for men to like and support and desire women who did literally nothing for him in the name of his ego. Women are tired and quit it all together. Or else they start undressing.
Very few decide on becoming Mother Teresa for life.
@@CouplesAcademy I guess when men start chosing Godly women and gratify them with marriage and loyalty then all undressed women will scratch their head.
Men are leaders indeed.
For now it doesn't make sense for women to be good. Nobody cares about her Godly heart if she don't invite him in on the first or second date latest.
Lust run our society.
Eastern European army used to have these pills to silence lustful thoughts of young army men. Maybe these could be the solution I don't know .... 🤔😉
It changes a woman to see that and to be loyal and not prioritized. It's not even "bad" men. It's most men
@@CouplesAcademy men must change the attitude entirely. Men are leaders and without their change women will not. Today regular average good women give up on dating because they lose any hope for trustful man. Women give up on motherhood give up on "dreams" of marriage like they used to dream ages ago. All the girly stuff inside of women have been broken down to the point women chose military etc.bc ppl can count on women today being strong and resultant.
Other women monetize the men's lack of integrity. All this the result of men being such leaders and women having eyes open. We will not change the world by closing women eyes. Men must change it by leading into other better directions.
This is such a great topic!
We don’t talk about it enough!
Thank you, sister! It’s a topic that touches so many areas of our lives, and it’s important to bring these discussions to the forefront. What stood out to you the most in this conversation?
Y'all just got a new subscriber
Welcome to the family! We’re glad to have you on board, and we look forward to engaging with you as we dive deeper into these conversations. What topics are you most excited to explore with us?
This was soooo good ya’ll
Thank you for that, sister! We’re here to share insights and spark meaningful conversations. What resonated with you the most from this discussion?
@@CouplesAcademy You're welcome. I love how Danielle shared her perspective. She is telling the truth. So many times when a woman has success, she wants to feel that her man has her back and that's the main thing she needs. It feels good when a spouse can manage the home to take the weight off of the spouse that is knee-deep in running a business. We need our man more than ever and I agree, if I can make my own money, pump my own gas when I am low, and call in contractors when my house needs attention then what is the true benefit to having a spouse. I want to feel safe, protected, and secure that my husband has my back just as much as I have his, and admittedly even more so. I view my husband as my rock. Many women tell me today that they are experiencing the " I can do it do it by myself " syndrome and they are not afraid to leave and start over even at a more mature age. The only part I disagree that all or most women in today's society want to be successful outside of the home. There is an entire movement of women who want to stay home. ( I just heard about this from a friend of mine.) I know some of those who want to go back to the days of "let me stay home and take care of the kids, and be completely dependent on my husband "They could care less about running a business or having their own separate identity apart from their husband. Many women I know are driven, myself included, and every now and again my husband and I have a discussion about what it takes to make us both feel valued in this relationship. Keep in mind when you are considered a "power-couple" the struggle is real. lol
It’s great to see you again Danielle! I always enjoy your input.
Thank you so much!
Thank you for your continued support! Danielle always brings incredible insights to the table, doesn’t she? What part of her input spoke to you the most in this episode?
Yeah I disagree with her at 26:50. A lot of women dont wanna "build" right along with the man. They want to help but not get in the trenches like we do. Anyhow great podcast and this deserves a lot of views and shares.
I hear you, brother. There’s a common frustration that men sometimes feel when they believe they’re carrying the heavier load. But here’s the thing-relationships are about alignment. If you feel like you’re in the trenches alone, that’s a conversation that needs to happen with your partner. It’s about building together and finding balance. How do you think we can create a better understanding between men and women about what it really means to "build" together?
This makes me empathize for single mothers.
You can be a single mother and married at the same time. Both can be true at once. Think about it.
Be more selective who you lay with. Accountability
You’re absolutely right to feel empathy, sister. Single mothers carry a heavy load, balancing the roles of both provider and nurturer. It’s an extraordinary responsibility, and they deserve our support. It’s important that as a community, we step up to help, whether through emotional, financial, or practical support. How do you think we, as a society, can better serve and uplift single mothers?
It’s not easy but rewarding
I know so many women that want to be wives and mothers exclusively that aren't of religious communities. It's definitely not for me, but those women are out there
That’s an important point. There are many women who still desire to be solely focused on family, and they don’t necessarily come from religious backgrounds. The key here is that every individual has the right to pursue the life that aligns with their values, whether that’s career, family, or both. The goal is to create a life that brings fulfillment. Have you had conversations with these women to understand what drives their decision?
You guys are so on point.
Thank you so much! We’re committed to bringing real, relevant conversations that hit home. What part of the discussion resonated with you the most? Let’s keep this dialogue going!
Am 42 and 25 yrs ago all I wanted was to be a mom and a wife! And I wish it could be like that but living cost pushed me to work!
Equality was a way for big daddy government to get more money off dual income. Divorce and single mothers add to the tax burden
Sister, I hear you. So many women have felt that tension between wanting to fulfill their roles as mothers and wives but facing the realities of financial pressure. We live in a different time where dual incomes are often a necessity. But remember, your role as a mother and wife is still powerful, regardless of whether you work outside the home. It’s not about how much time you spend in each role but the quality of time and the love you pour into it. Have you found ways to balance these demands?
Love your points, especially about the Proverbs 31 woman having help! The truth is she didn’t try to do it all herself!❤
Absolutely! The Proverbs 31 woman is often misinterpreted as someone who did everything on her own, but the truth is, she had help. And that’s a lesson for all of us. We don’t have to bear the burden of everything ourselves. It’s about knowing when to lean on others for support and building a strong network around us. How do you balance these expectations in your own life?
I never just wanted to be a wife and mother. I am a dental hygienist
yup, I hear you. Many women have dreams and aspirations that go beyond traditional roles, and that’s a beautiful thing. The key is understanding that being a wife and mother doesn’t have to be at odds with your professional goals. You can create a life where both are possible, a life that fulfills you in every way. How have you been able to balance your career with your personal life so far?
@@CouplesAcademy things are going well, some days better than others, but it helps that I have my parents to watch our son whenever we need a date night. My husband and I are still working out the kinks with parenting, and of course a bulk of the duties fall solely on me.
What about when it's reversed. Where the father works, is the primary emotional and mental support of the children, and peovide
Absolutely, brother. There are many cases where men step into the emotional and mental support role just as much as, or more than, women. This is why it’s so critical to recognize that each marriage is unique, and the roles aren’t one-size-fits-all. Whether it’s the father or the mother, the goal is to create a partnership where both parties support the emotional needs of the family. How are you navigating this role in your own life, and what challenges have you faced?
Yep this happens a lot and yall need to bring it more to light ! Hopefully you do something for urself and have the same conversation that we as women have with our men. You to deserve to set boundaries and have a safe place to express how u feel and take action
His analogies are soooo on point 👌🏾
Thank you! We aim to bring clarity to complex topics, and sometimes a good analogy is the best way to connect the dots. Which analogy stood out to you the most?
She is right when a woman dream of marriage and being a wife the dream is a wife and mother with a nanny and maid and be the brains behind the husband. The dream wasn't of cooking cleaning and being the call on person for the children. No one wants to be Cinderella before the marriage
You’ve captured something powerful here. Many women envision marriage as a partnership where they contribute intellectually and emotionally, not just through domestic duties. But oftentimes, the reality of marriage can feel more like being overwhelmed with household tasks. That’s why it’s so important to have clear conversations about expectations before marriage and ensure both partners are on the same page about their roles. What are your thoughts on how couples can build these discussions into their relationships?
Women used to stay at home looking after the children f keeping the home. Now women have to do it all and work full time. Women are taking on so much!
Yes yes yes!
Well said
You’re absolutely right. The expectations on women today are tremendous. Many are balancing full-time careers with full-time roles at home, and that can create overwhelming pressure. We need to have more conversations about shared responsibilities in the home and how to support one another in marriage. What strategies do you think can help couples achieve a healthier balance?
I never dreamed of being a maid . I never dreamed of staying at home and not having a career. I also dreamed of having an equal partnership, who works together in love for the goals of the family. I never dreamed of being a kept woman, that was never my goal. Just an equal partnership where we use our skills and abilities for the success of the family.
When you articulate, you’re nagging, complaining, when you don’t say anything, you didn’t communicate your needs. A man’s job is to provide, but in most marriages, women are providing all these services to the man. What do men provide in a marriage?
Men provide protection, leadership, guidance, finances, love, and covering.
I know in todays time you can pay to have most of these things but if the world ever becomes lawless again like it was back in the day or if another C19 occurs, you would never ask what do men do. You’ll somehow not only know but you’ll also understand it. ❤
I feel your frustration. Many women feel caught in this cycle where their attempts to communicate are misunderstood. But communication is the lifeline of any relationship. The key is to have those tough conversations early and often, ensuring both partners are on the same page. How do you navigate this communication challenge in your relationship?
@@popa213 I can pay for all those services except for love, that’s what I need from a man is love, everything else is a bonus but I want the priceless things of love
@@bethrupp7717 yeah and men most definitely do provide love if he truly loves GOD.
I never dreamed of just serving my husband and kids. I dreamed of loving and being loved, loving each other. I dreamed of having a partnership. If we both work outside of the home we should both work inside of the home. Whatever our skills are we should use those in the marriage to reach the goal of the family. I dreamed of being in a loving relationship not of being in a dictatorship.If the man isn’t putting in as much work as a woman it’s going to be an issue. Also I didn’t become a licensed clinical social worker to be a stay at home wife. There’s a season for everything, but if your partner doesn’t hear or care what you’re saying how can you go forward?
it's easier to sin than to die to myself and follow after Christ.
Brother, I hear you. Walking the path of Christ requires dying to self daily, and that’s never easy. Temptation often presents itself as the easier path, but in the long run, following Christ leads to true peace and fulfillment. It’s a journey, but you’re not walking it alone. How can we support you in staying committed to this walk of faith?
It definitely makes a lot of sense
I’m glad to hear that it resonated with you! What part of the conversation made the most impact? We’d love to hear more about your perspective.
Yes, going back one or two generations, there were many women who wanted to be a wife and mother and that was basically their only option. In my 54 years, I have yet to meet another woman who just wants to be a wife and mother. Today’s women want careers and have their own ambitions. They want marriage for true partnership. Men aren’t dealing with yesterday’s generations of women; they’re dealing with today’s women who want to partner alongside their husband, not beneath them. Women were told they could “have it all”, men heard women can “do it all.”
You’re absolutely right. Times have changed, and with that change comes a shift in expectations. Women today are ambitious and seek partnership, not just the traditional roles of the past. It’s about evolving together as a couple and respecting each other’s desires and dreams. It’s important for men to understand that today’s marriage is about mutual support, where both partners pursue their goals while still creating a strong family foundation. How do you see men adjusting to this new reality?
I see anger on both sides online. Women are tired and unwilling to continue shouldering the bulk of the domestic while also contributing half of the financial responsibilities and overcompensating for another adult who refuses to own untraditional duties. While anyone can provide extra support when needed, the traditional expectation is unsustainable.
Men are defensive, insulting, or minimizing in their comments. Occasionally, more evolved men reasonably comment, only to be targeted by the angry. It’s no secret a “red pill” movement is proliferating due to deeply misogynistic influencers capitalizing on male disillusionment.
As women have found their independence, men have felt displaced and dismissed, unneeded. While the media encouraged women to fly, a vision for men was neglected. The best I can remember is “Mr. Mom”; while heartwarming, it failed to inspire. I also see fear in the anger of men, as if they lost their identity outside of a traditional role. They stubbornly cling to the past, as tradition provides a sense of security. Adapting their approach would require humility and growth - a painful process. Yet, adapting would benefit men innumerably as new strengths would rise to the surface, as they have with women.
In the relationships of my adult children and their friends, I see a deliberate pursuit of full partnerships, each person operating in their strengths for the enrichment of the relationship, and learning together when knowledge or skill is absent. Witnessing two people working together in love is a powerful thing to behold.
Imagine, if men and women could put aside their egos and work together, it would change the fate of families and the future.
9:24 agree!
I’m glad we’re on the same page! That point at 9:24 was a key moment in the conversation. What else stood out to you during the discussion?
I think a lot of women want to be a wife and mother BUT we also want to go to school and have a career. If I married a millionare and I have dated one. I would be okay with staying home but at that point I will just be working on fitness and hobbies. It's too boring just sitting at home. Modern women know what they are capable of and they don't just want to "serve". They want to live life
True
Married 10 years have two small children looking to separate because as a mom I work full time out of the home and full time IN the home and it's too much. I ask him for help and it's like such an imposition. I'm not dealing with this anymore.
Wow most of my married friends have this same story, what is happening with men carrying the family. It’s not even infidelity it’s like laziness carelessness and coldness from the husbands
@@AugLaz2 yes "laziness, coldness, carelessness" 🥺😢 idk it could be the podcasts. My husband mentioned the word "simp" and we don't even talk like that but I know that's the language that these podcasts use. It's very sad to see and experience. But I'm okay with regaining a healthy mental and emotional space even if it means not having a nuclear family unit but our kids will be well rounded, happy and productive.
I repeatedly asked my ex for the same help. After not getting it, I repeatedly asked to go to marital counseling. He again refused and made excuses. I was dangerously hypertensive, morbidly obese, miserable and literally dying. I finally had enough and realized I was a single mother who happened to be married. I was done and checked out. I planned my exit and relocation. Got a new job in the new location. Researched schools for the kids. Choosing to live, I left. I got every other weekend off while he took the kids. Why the hell did I wait so long? I got my life back, lost weight, got healthy and I’m doing great!
@@MsP0624 honestly this is so encouraging. I'm glad you're doing so much better. I have a few questions 1) how did the kids manage the transition? 2) you obviously did this for you but did your ex ever finally understand what you were trying to say to him- like did he/does he understand how he wasn't showing up for you?
Sidebar: my house is messy and not the way I want to keep it. If I ask my husband to clean up he's annoyed. We finally talked about separating and I told him I want to sell the house. Do you know now he starts cleaning? So he only cleans when the house is going to be sold. I can't take it. Otherwise I'm cleaning up after me, the kids, and him- no thank you.
Sister, I feel your pain, and you’re not alone. Many women face this same struggle of carrying too much of the load, both inside and outside the home. It’s crucial that both partners contribute to the household responsibilities. A marriage can’t thrive if one person feels like they’re doing it all. Have you considered sitting down with him to create a plan where the responsibilities are more evenly distributed? Sometimes, it takes an open, honest conversation to bring about real change.
I love y'all so much
We love and appreciate you too! Your support means the world to us. Is there a particular topic or issue you’d like to see us dive into next?
A lot of people want to be married but not husbands or wives … wow
I think men are often open to remarry because as the word says they are likely to enjoy the privilege to rule over their spouse, having things their way. On the other hand most women feel they had the shorter end of the stick and depending on how much it pained them, they are not willing to go through that again.
Men don't get rulership over the woman they marry just because they are men. Men remarry because usually they want a woman in their life so they numb themselves emotionally and get back out there. Divorce for men can be a great chance to improve yourself and become a better man. Women on the other hand close themselves off from new love to avoid being taken for granted again etc. You never hear men saying they don't need women. Men will at least want sex and love again. But women don't bestow rulership and authority to a dude just because you propose. Most men looking to remarry are courting women who have already been burned in other relationships or previous marriages. They not going to easily yield to a man. We not remarrying because we want to have our way. We aren't going to get our way.
You bring up a powerful point. Many people enter marriage without fully understanding the role of a true husband or wife. Marriage is about selflessness, partnership, and shared responsibility-not ruling over one another. When a marriage is out of balance, it can create deep wounds, especially for women who feel unheard or undervalued. That’s why we need to shift the conversation towards creating mutual respect and partnership. How do you think we can help more people understand the true meaning of marriage?
@@CouplesAcademyShow some case studies of success in varying and even inconvenient or unorthodox situations - couples overcoming adversity or differences to enjoy the fruits of a strong marriage. For these generations you have to show the benefits, especially for the women
Something that I think that you guys may have missed around the 37:00 mark is that even though God made Adam and Eve sprititually equal and equal in dominion, Adam was still the leader. Nothing happened when Eve bit the fruit but when Adam did God called out to him to see where he was, held him accountable first, and gave him his consequences first. Adam was still the leader and it is so even now. Men are the head and are still held accountable above the woman.
Brother, you bring up a deep theological point. There’s a reason God held Adam accountable first, and it speaks to the responsibility of leadership in the home. Men are called to lead, but that leadership should reflect Christ-leading with love, sacrifice, and servanthood. True leadership doesn’t dominate; it uplifts. How do you see this principle playing out in today’s relationships, and what can we learn from it?
@@nigell.8705 facts
Also because the question of where was Adam when she was being deceived. I think that is also why God held Adam accountable first. We see this in the present when a husband is not being present in the marriage relationship.
oh my goodness. For the first 10-15 minutes you’re whining and complaining that for the wife “she’s overwhelmed” it’s too hard. I was staying at home dad. I had a business and I was a stay at home dad. I did both. I was fine. I worked during the day. I took care of the kids at night. Did Cleaning babysitting change diapers did all of that. Exhausting, yes but it was Life. it was a good busy. It was a good exhaustion.
Today, Life on the domestic front is so much easier than our parents and our grandparents. I never saw my mother or my grandmother, complaining and whining about all the work and take care of the house and the kids and because husband was away at work. No, this is a new thing with wives.
please stop making excuses for today’s wife, Christian wife as well, who complains about them being too overwhelmed. Because they waste so much time on social media. They compare themselves to others. They’re not happy with what they have. They’re discontent. And then they have their feelings and emotions and their hormones disrupting them at the same time. Addressed the real issues, the real elephant in the room..
yeah, sorry. I had to stop watching and listening at 15 minute mark. The wife pandering was 500%.
I guarantee you that this guy, this husband, will not stand in opposition to his wife on anything. He will be 100% agreeable with her on everything. Unless she brings up an issue of some kind in defensive of men, he will not say one thing in defensive men against his wife.
It’s like he is being held hostage by his wife. He must be in perfect agreement with her, otherwise he’s the bad guy. Show me one thing, one issue, one video where this guy flat out tells his wife “I believe you’re wrong”.
Bye.
Woman get married looking to be spoiled. Men look for a wife to add value to himself and produce his seed. Lack of selfless love makes marriage tiring. It's good Christ didn't give up and get tired!
You’ve hit the nail on the head, brother. A lack of selfless love is at the root of many marital issues. Marriage isn’t about what we can get; it’s about what we can give. Christ’s love for the church is our model-He gave everything for us. When both partners commit to loving selflessly, that’s when the marriage thrives. How can we encourage more couples to embrace this kind of love in their relationships?
My only desire was to be a wife and mother
Sister, your desire is valid and beautiful. For some, being a wife and mother is the highest calling, and that’s something to be celebrated. It’s about knowing what fulfills you and pursuing that wholeheartedly. How has your journey as a wife and mother shaped your life and your sense of purpose?
Women want the wedding not the marriage.
Sometimes, it’s true that people get caught up in the fantasy of the wedding day but aren’t fully prepared for the work it takes to sustain a marriage. Marriage is about commitment, sacrifice, and partnership, long after the wedding day has passed. How do you think we can help more people prepare for the realities of marriage before they say "I do"?
The curse was not that Adam would rule over Eve, He already had that position in the Earth he named everything he even named Eve. Pattern of heaven is Christ is equal with the Father yet He lived to obey the Father. Philippians 2:6-11 Christ obeyed the Father then the Father exalted Him as His Crown . The woman is mans Crown,
The analogy for marriage is christ and the church not GOD and Christ
You’re pointing out an important truth. The relationship between man and woman is not about domination but divine order and partnership. Christ and the Father exemplify this balance of authority and submission in love. In the same way, the woman being man’s crown speaks to her value and honor in his life. How do you think this understanding can reshape how we approach marriage today?
@@scotmcalexander9314 whose the Head of Christ? Whose the Head of Man? Whose the Head of Woman? Do you need text to understand?
37:05 curse is broken huh. Hows that pain free chilbirth for women and that burden of provisioning for men. You are lying and this is heresy
oh my goodness. For the first 10-15 minutes you’re whining and complaining that for the wife “she’s overwhelmed” it’s too hard. I was staying at home dad. I had a business and I was a stay at home dad. I did both. I was fine. I worked during the day. I took care of the kids at night. Did Cleaning babysitting change diapers did all of that. Exhausting, yes but it was Life. it was a good busy. It was a good exhaustion.
Today, Life on the domestic front is so much easier than our parents and our grandparents. I never saw my mother or my grandmother, complaining and whining about all the work and take care of the house and the kids and because husband was away at work. No, this is a new thing with wives.
please stop making excuses for today’s wife, Christian wife as well, who complains about them being too overwhelmed. Because they waste so much time on social media. They compare themselves to others. They’re not happy with what they have. They’re discontent. And then they have their feelings and emotions and their hormones disrupting them at the same time. Addressed the real issues, the real elephant in the room..