Steven Seagal Movie Shadow Man Is So Bad It'll Give You Syphilis - Worst Movie Ever
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ต.ค. 2024
- The terrible Steven Seagal movie Shadow Man is an absolute atrocity condemned by every nation on earth. It is single handedly responsible for the great syphilis epidemic of the 18th, 19th, and 21st century. If you care about your health at all, then you wouldn't be here in the first place you filthy liar.
#stevenseagal #worstmovies #actionmovies #badmovies
Check out my Patreon for ad-free and censorship free videos: patreon.com/Space_Ice
Space Ice.....words can't explain how much these reviews...and the perfectly described titles, have perfectly exposed the no talent was clown that steven "I wish I was Clint'' truly encompasses. much respect....and keep 'em coming!
i think you are making more money off these videos, than seagal is from the movies... but i mean i can't hate seagal, he atleast sticks to his own methods.
Come on, we need a cross over between you and the Critical Drinker. It is high time already.
Please expand to Wesley Snipes, Bruce Willis, and other hammy 80s actors like Stallone v Arnie etc, maybe as special editions ?
review Samurai Cop or Deadly Prey . you won’t regret it
This guy puts more effort in his videos than Steven Seagal in all his movies
Please don’t hate me, I took away the 69th like 😢
That's a fact!
😂🤣 I couldn’t agree more this is why I subscribed to this channel.
The passion is there.
That probably because the dude has more talent than Steven
"Whoever is running this green screen needs to calm the f* down."
This is nonstop hilarity. 🤣
I laughed so hard at that. I don't know how he consistently catches me off guard with his dialogue.
😂🤣😂🤣😂😂
I had to quote the same because omg that had me in stitches 😂
the sick 720 HAHAHHA
Must be syphilis?
This man actually watches Seagal's movies, he sacrifices his brain cells for our entertainment.
He deserves a medal and a fucking certificate of recognition.
😂😂
How do we call this guy? A savior? He single handedly took the damage for us. 😂
You forget we lost ours watching these trash movies in our child hood and thinking those moves work in real life
How dare you sit in judgement of a pure genius 😤
_"Sensei Seagal, please teach me to kill a man."_
Famous last words.
I would actually go to the movie theater, buy $20 popcorn, $10 sweet tarts, $15 drink to watch this guy narrate a seagull movie 😂😂😂😂
Seagull
He should have these on the dvd releases as overscreen commentary.
Me too😂
No joke, imagine 90 minutes of just trashing that fat ass pretender - it would be glorious.
More entertaining than the movie 👍😂
"I was very impressed by the way you broke the watermelon." Unless there's a sequel to this, I can guarantee you'll never hear that uttered in a movie again.
That limp wrist slap to the watermelon did nothing lol.
Yeah, now that Galighager is dead.
@@joshuabessire9169 bro, too soon. Now I'm sad.
There are some weird ass porn sites that beg to differ, I'm afraid...
@@jerryleroy9187 I think it was implied that he used like some wise old magical chi energy to smash it up on the inside or something. I dunno, whatever.
“But jokes on her because making women uncomfortable is on of his favorite things to do” 😂
I think the narrator uses the term "uncomfortable" because rape could get them sued. There were many rapes done by Steven Segal, allegedly. Even a waddling seagal can commit heinous crimes, allegedly.
Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly
Pervgal
Got that rizz'nt
Lmaoo dudes genius
😂😂😂
Seagal: "We had a couple of little glitches but all in all we had a pretty good time..."
Space Ice: "She was kidnapped twice and her grandfather was killed."
I'm dying... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is the safest way to watch Seagal’s movies without suffering from brain cell loss. I salute you for your services
Wait....that means...
He had to watch the whole movie....heck, I salute your sacrifice!
@@DoctorNERO616e can’t even get dressed or wipe his ass on his own after being subjected to too many of Mr Seagull’s movies. Salutations to this vegetated martyr
his 80's an 90's movies still
bump today.
2000 was his downfall.
especially later.
the best thing about his movies
is when he breaks an arm or leg.
you know your f*cked.
How about having to watch Seagal on TV for four years straight? That's right, Steven Seagal for president 2024. Fuck it, why not? Let's keep this string of weird old guys going America!
"I fear not the man who makes a thousand bad movies but I fear the man who makes one bad movie a thousand times"
Bruce Lee
"That's syphilis."
Steven Seagal
"Bruce Lee fears me" - Steven Seagal
🤣🤣🤣
"Stevan Seagal is a fat, wet pussy" - Mark Twain
"I trained Bruce Lee" - Steven Segeal probably
This guy is a legend he watches Steven Seagal movies for us so we don't have to.
It’s true. I got a new Samsung tv and it featured free movies including a few of these low budget Seagal films. I tried watching but it was just brutal. It truly is torture.
@@jjones9822 His movies should start with "Warning, might cause cancer, features Segal's face that looks like Ass Sweat"
He's a man who sacrifices his sanity for the rest of us. Truly deserves appreciation.
TBH I wouldn't even know this movies existed if it wasn't for Space Ice.
@@mr.F.Castle same lol.
Walks down a "flight" of about 5 stairs: uses body double.
Surface-to-air missile handgun.
And making out with every young female character, even those who kidnapped his daughter.
The three classic Seagal movie elements.
And the hot young lady is 1/3 his age 😅😅😅😅
Don't forget the obligatory strip club scene
You forgot to mention that the CIA is involved. Somehow, its always the CIA.
There’s nothing more enjoyable than listening to Space Ice narrate a Steven Seagal movie.
Facts
I want full Segal movie commentaries from Space Ice
Agreed 100%
It cleanses the soul.
With just that adjustment, would make this film actually watchable 🤣😂
I love how this guy points out how many people are unnecessarily killed in his movies like he’s a sadistic psychopath, it’s hilarious.
Its amazing that is how seagull imagines a "good guy"
I love how I read this right as he was saying how senseless all the killing was
Exactly! Like what the hell was the beginning where Segal just kills all the students😂
@@josip342 not a good guy, “A GOOD MAN”.
@@josip342we’re not sure if he’s a good guy or not to be honest. It seems like it’s about watching someone waste people for no reason. Everyone who died has nothing to do with the plot.
I swear, these are all just Steven Seagal’s fantasies. He somehow just convinced people to help him film and produce them.
it was proven that he launders money for the actual mafia with those movies !!! the mafia gets money segal gets his movie and we get those gems
@@fouzaialaa7962 Everybody wins! 😂
I used to think of stories like this when i was 10.
@@thealleys and then what happened?
Do you not write masterpieces anymore?
He's what Dux wanted to become
when you pay a fortune to cure your depression but this guy did it for free he sacrifices him self by showing us how bad can it get if you watching a Steven Seagal movie. Thank you ❤
Hahahahaha Hahahahaha
🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
It's amazing how consistently humorous and on-point this channel is. Rarely do I actually laugh out loud like I do with these videos.
This one especially great 😂😂😂
I cried for a full five minutes over the barman scene
Exactly
"Romania - get your shit together with the Taxis" 🤣🤣🤣
Agreed!
funniest part in his movies is how every girl seems to fall uncontrollably for him. He will have no problem using a double every time a set of stairs appear but he will never use one for a sexy scene. Just the usual fully clothed hug lmao
Russkis love Seagal, he gives the russkis what they want, h0t chicks, killings, explosions, a simple story.
True ! 😂 Seagull does that all the time !!
Conveniently, his dedication is total every time he has a scene to shoot with a pretty girl 🤦♀️
I'm convinced he just keeps making movies so he can write himself into these love scenes.
@@ayuminor 100% fact.
He obviously is facing tons of complexes (his pseudo-scripts speak for him) ; and meeting success with hot women is one of his main ones. Especially with him evolving ever more into a balding pachyderm over time.
@@anne-carolinecosse5065
No wonder incels and redpillers idolize him
"Making women uncomfortable is one of his favorite things to do." LMAO!
So true.
He's arguably an expert
He’s been making women uncomfortable for like 87 years
A few years after this movie, Skye Bennett (who plays Seagal's daughter) went on to be a successful British voice actress. From a Seagal movie to a well-known voice actress.
A remarkable transformation.
There's at least talent in his DNA then.
@@Skoopyghost Randy Couture was also a successful actor after Today You Die.
Skye Bennett is the voice actor of Pyra and Mythra
@@CsRj2854 That's true. She was only a child by the time Shadow Man (2006) was in production.
The voice, the gimmick, the brutal sarcasm. Amazing 👏
I know this is why I subscribed to this channel.
and the background music too
It's no gimmick my friend.
It's chi. Probably. 🦵
And sarcasms... Nn stuff.
Are you talking about Space Ice or sensei seagul? 🤣
Seagal is one of the greatest method actors of our time. He stays in character even while off set, 24/7.
Seagal doesn't even know there are cameras rolling.
He is such a good actor that acting borrowed his name.
Yes, I believe Seagal actually murders innocent people in cold blood for no reason in real life. As a matter of fact, what movies? These are his home videos.
@@philw8103 3:33 this guy is definitely dead.
The secret is he isnt acting its just the man himself.
He is a perfect example of how an over inflated ego can make a total fool out of a man.
He is syphilis.
His body is over inflated
You are just jealous of his watermelon backhand. I am going to start training immediately. What better way to focus my chi!?
and make him very rich and capable of surrounding himself with support that deflects all naysayers
Even more embarrassing than that time he crapped his pants during that one fight, he's now fled to Russia these days to play propagandist for the Kremlin.
This Seagal movie review was so good it cured the syphilis I got from watching the actual movie. Thank you, Space Ice!
I love how every Steven Seagal movie in a nutshell is him going on a rampage and killing innocent people for literally no reason.
An with people trying to kill him for absolutely no reason
And let's not forget there's always a horny stripper that wants a piece of him.
and hes always some ex special forces with a dark past lol
Right.
And why do you "love" that?
Imagine having a body double or a stunt man to walk 20 feet. Seagal is truly the greatest.
And then fkin kill him !!
or truly the fattest 😀
That's beyond sad 😂
The greatest - in mass.
He's so lazy is F5 level.
"and when this bartender doesnt know every person in romania"
"He gets knocked the F out "
that was just too good man xD
Bartenders as well as taxi drivers in Romania need to get their s* together 😆
@@maurobertolone5198 🤣🤣
oh gawd, that line was the best.
MY FAVORITE FKN PART I LOLED SOOO HARD
Surface to air missle handgun really got me😂
Steven Seagal slap-fighting, walking up stairs and waddling always makes my day
Thank you.
He can kill you with just a slap
Be careful my friend
Lol.
Holy cow where did you see footage of Steaven Seagal walking?! Let alone UP STAIRS!
And don't forget the body double that looks nothing like him who is shown FULL FACE and ON-SCREEN!!!
😂 If someone ever said to me “you know, that actor that slap-fights and waddles” I’d know exactly who they were talking about
“He’s in such a crazed state, he even kills his body double” . It literally is his body double 😂
I can't stop laughing. I can't breathe. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Haven't even got to that part and I can't stop laughing at this 😂
Neo DiCaprio
Was hilarious shit had me rolling
"And is in such a crazed state that he even kills his body double" nowhere else but in a Seagal movie would this be possible and still feel like an acceptable part of the plot.
This made me laugh so hard
Also when he says his “makes his body double walk all the way back “
To punish him!
"This guy"at 5:40 is hilarious. Whoever you are Space Ice, please don't stop making comedy gold
😂 that had me in stitches I commented same thing
we can do a bingo on seagal movies:
-Body double
-Kidnapped family
-Awkward Knife Fight
-Innocent People dying for no reason
-Hot chick wanting him
-Night club scene
-CIA operation that is nothing like what CIA actually do
-Attack Helicopter
-Terrible CG
-Shooting Without Looking
- Incoherent mumbling
- Romanian actor playing a different ethnicity
- Inexplicable outfit change
Also the Police telling how awesome Seagull is
You forgot "-him never getting hit ONCE!"
If he does get knocked in a fight it's because the other actor accidentally hit him during filming the choreographed fights and the editing crew missed it and went with that take.
Also using the same big house in every movie lol
- Huge explosions completely destroying large buildings
"Whoever running this green screen, needs to calm the f#$k down!" That's hilarious. Your comical narration of these incredibly bad films is above reproach. You my friend are the true master. 👍
That line killed me. Omg the green screen work was terrible.
but who is buying them? this is the question
"Whoevers running the green screen need to calm tf down" I died lmfao 😂😂😂
"That's syphilis" is probably the best summary of ALL Steven Seagal movies
Are we sure he wasn't trying to say "Self-defense" and was just doing his trademark, Seagal slurring?
Bruhhhh 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀
We really need this to be a recurring phrase in his videos
@@planescaped Anything is possible when The Seagal is involved so yeah, thats probably syphilis lol
@@brentwylie5558 True dat brother. I hope it reaches legendary status like Van Damme's Thailand bar dance scene😂😂😂😂
I had to explain to my wife why I’m laughing so much at a video. A middle aged guy who grew up on JCVD and Seagal is the exact demographic 😂
Dude the jcvd videos absolutely kill me as someone who grew up with a dad who watched nothing but jcvd and classic seagal.
@@loganmcallister4635 Same 😂😂
@Pdotta1 Right there with ya 🙃
Same lmao
Damn exactly the same thing just now
"Just kidding, fuck you." caught me off guard, in tears.
EDIT: 2 months later, still just as good.
I just want to say the "That's syphilis" line is the best delivery of anything I've ever heard Seagal say.
Schoolgirls.
@@azazel166 wtf. no!
@@azazel166"Are on their knees" ~ Frank Zappa
They need to make a movie where it's just Seagal thinking everything is syphilis, and people having to tell him that it's not. They could have Tom Segura play Seagal if the real one won't do it.
Stealing birthdays was for me
This was the most I've laughed in months, thank you for curing my depression.
my exact thoughts
It's only temporary unfortunately 😢
@@IMN602 Good thing there are many Space Ice videos!
I can't get enough of these
Come on! It's Seagal eho cured it! You just didn't know it. Acknowledge him before he comes and senslessly kills you (and me!)
1:01-1:11
“Nothing’s more important to Sensei Seagal than his Students.”
“Just Kidding, F*ck You”
had me in tears 😂
😆😅🤣🤣
I laughed so much I cried.
He kills this and that guy 😂
I first saw a Space Ice video while working through a terrible flu. I started laughing and kept coughing uncontrollably. About 4 minutes in one of the videos I laughed/coughed myself out of oxygen and kinda passed out a little bit. When I composed myself a few seconds later I noticed the taste of blood in my mouth. For a second I was confused and concerned then I looked it up and apparently I laughed so hard and got so lightheaded I went into a tiny seizure and bit my tongue in the process. Then, I started laughing because of the seizure and all the while I had the Space Ice video playing in the background and almost passed out again. I forgot all about Space Ice until recently and rediscovered it while in a deep state of fear and panic and it really reminded me how awesome comedy can be. Love all these videos and especially because I watched ALL of them as a child/preteen thinking how awesome it must be to be Stephen Segal. Not so much anymore
Sounds like you had more than just the flu.
@@The_ZeroLine Cough syncope, also known as "tussive syncope" or "laryngeal ictus", is a syndrome that can cause loss of consciousness after a violent cough or prolonged coughing fits. It can occur in people with the flu, which is an acute respiratory infection that can cause a cough and other symptoms like fever and muscle aches.
My mom, brother and ex all have seizures. I'm sorry but I laughed at your seizure. 🤣
Seagal really is the definition of being overly obsessed with himself and expects us to take him serious. Its truly narcissistic but comedy for us
Ya he's always better at everything than everyone else. Someone can be good at anything and Seagal is always better.
It’s like Trump in politics. 😂 This guy is in love with Putin too.
@@TeamUkraine putin is a bkack bekt and ex kgb. a real action hero. hope he anexxes ukraine
@@TeamUkraine Trump - The Last Hope
@@daveparker4209
In the Car Audio world, that would be Steve Meade.
Not only did I get Syphilis from watching shadow man (I refuse to capitalize any steven seagul film out of respect) but AIDS, as well. In addition, I started going to all you can eat buffets and painting my bald spots with markers.
Another masterpiece of a review by the true master, Space Ice.
It says a lot that you hold AIDS to a higher standard than these movies.
You are friggin funny
Just like watching a Trump speech.
This channel has done the impossible: it has made me hope that we will never run out of awful Seagal movies just so I can watch Space Ice's reviews of them. I am disturbed greatly by this.
I lost it at 5:40.
@@simeon2851 🤣🤣
Acceptance is the first step towards peace. And lawls. Many lawls.
I never realized till now that Seagall's willingness to walk into women's restrooms was a superpower.
The amount of effort the cinematographer puts into shadowing Segal’s neck rolls is legendary. That man deserves an Oscar.
The effort comes from the Russian mafia enforcer's gun at the back of the cinematographer's head.
@@joelellis7035😂
fun fact: Seagal was popular in my country when I was a kid, partially because he was dubbed over by strong manly voices so nobody ever knew how he really sounded like :D
and they also changed the lines dramatically so that he would make some sense. those guys were real heroes.
Which country? Just curious.
The interior, maybe?
That's actually hilarious
may I present you all with a contest of guessing the aforementioned country?
@@sinan.1946 china?
To accept a role in Steven Seagal movie is to accept the harsh reality that this may be as good as it’s ever gonna get for you
In a particularly light this might be funny, but in reality it is actually a very sad and sobering statement.
Nah it’s a high light in their life they all from a small town in middle America
I literally laughed out loud after reading your comment.
@@machida58 that's why it's funny.
@@brt-jn7kg I don't know.
"She was kidnapped twice, and her grandfather was killed. but it still so much better than spending it with Sagal" its amazing
The part where the guy shoots the hood of his own car killed me😂😂😂😂
"The passenger in the other car also does things the Seagul way, by not having any idea where he's shooting but I'm pretty sure it's the hood of his own car. " 😂
Maybe he was kidnapped in Romania by a taxi and was trying to escape?
@@DavidM_GA Hah! By the looks of it it isn't explained anywhere and we shall never know
Well deserved, the engine was misbehaving. Bad idea anyway, insurance does not cover this.
I haven't laughed for damn near 17 mins straight in 20 years. That was one of the funniest videos I have ever watched.
Still laughing?
Go look up Philomena kunk.
Me too😂😂
Lmao I watched one other one of these reviews and it was fkn hilarious lmao 😂
that's syphillis
Random dude trying to stop Seagal from destroying his house had me cracking up.
I died crying at the 8:00 mark when he says” You know they’re police because of their official police car and their crooked sticker that sort of looks like a police badge”. 🤣🤣🤣
They forgot to write a dialogue for that scene 😂
"He has a weapon that can give people cancer and kill them within 6 months. They don't actually say what it is, but I'm pretty sure it's his movies"
😂😂😂
"His daughter is kidnapped from the kidnapper.." I literally laughed so hard 😅😅
Double kidnapped
Kidnapception
@@orphanmeat4sale24 Sadly this was only on the second level - we needed more kidnappings, more!
"I was impressed how you hit that watermelon"
the fact he gets laid by the orig kidnapper is just epic
"That's Syphilis" An adequate visual representation of the film's quality and artistic vision.
This dude had me rolling when he said “ you know normal kitchen shit”😂
This man is risking his life and sanity for us.
"That's syphilis." Should be the tag line of every seagal movie ever
I'd say it should be "I'll snatch every motherfucker birthday", but he has yet to fulfill that promise, whereas syphilis is something I'm sure he's acquired by now.
It’s not syphilis.
When you remember that the whole purpose of these Seagal movies is money laundering for organized crime, then the silliness becomes a little more forgivable.
Bro I have not laughed this hard in a long time. I'm pissed that I just discovered your channel...but happy that I know get to binge multiple reviews. Good shit my guy!!
The part
"That's syphilis"
"Yeah, kinda, anyways" made me laugh so hard 🤣 😆 😂
Then at the end of the movie he completely agrees.
“That’s syphilis.”
“F*ck yeah it was!”
Funniest shit I heard in a long time.!!💀
Just found this channel last night but holy shit I'm so glad I did. Absolutely brilliant
"They think he has something that can give you cancer and kill you within six months....they don't actually say what it is, but I'm pretty sure it's his movies" 🤣
“That’s syphilis!”
Thank you for your sacrifice. You endure the lengthy and agonizing Steven Seagal movies, explaining everything so we won't have to endure watching them.
I'm from Romania and he does this here every other weekend. His daughter is just always trying to run from him(can't say I blame her). Please call your country's child support services and have this man locked up so he can stop terrorizing us. Thank you.
One does not simply, remove Steven Segal's children. You see how he kills cops, think about how many CPS workers he's killed.
😂🤣👍
😆😆
He lives in Russia now and supports Putin .
🤣🤣🤣🤣please stoooooop!
As a Romanian I can say that half of Bucharest has syphillis after seeing this man on the street😢😢
The other half was shot by seagal and his friends.
Cel puțin au scăpat de chinul de a se spăla cu apă rece în loc de apă caldă.
😂
At this point, its tradition for several things to happen in any Seagal movie. 1. Unnecessary body doubles 2. Fatal karate hand slaps 3. A strip club scene 4. A character introduced at the beginning of the movie who’s “behind everything” and conveniently explains it in full detail.
Edit: And a whole lot of other stuff I missed 🤣
you're giving away the formula!
And the daughter or young woman that gets kidnapped
Also number 5 every woman who is twice as young as him wants him.
@@st3v3_00 Yup. He’s definitely living his non midlife-crisis fantasies through his movies.
Important scene of the character talking to others about Seagal and how awesome and badass he is.
"Steven Hawking Segal"... god I'm still laughing
Who starts sciencing the shit out of things like a wild ape.
"While that very Seagal thing is happening, his daughter is kidnapped from the kidnapper." I lost it. 😂
fr lol
“Wow, this is convenient and they start suffocating her too!!” I’m wheezing!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Are you being choked by Seagull too?
this man really jumped from 20k to 100k subs in like a month and a half, im glad people are appreciating his efforts to watch these dog sh*t movies
He went from 95,000 to 108,000 in like a week
I was confused when it was 38k, because this shit is pretty quality 💯
His video makes your bad day great 👍
Ikr
😂👍
Your reviews are genius. There's a meta narrative throughout about Seagal being an irrational killing machine that leaves me in stitches every time you mention it.
My uncle used to love Steven Seagal movies, no matter how terrible they were. Your vids make me both nostalgic of him as well as have me dying of laughter. Please keep these coming!
Usually people with low IQ love his movies.
A few of his 80s movies were really good ! He just kept making shitty 80s moves far into the 2020s 😂
@@basedbane787 I feel like I vaguely remember some of his movies being *not* completely terrible. He's just cranking out whatever now though. 😂
@@Zanos560 yea out for justice. Hard to kill. And especially out for justice are really good for cheesy 80s action movies but his new stuff is insane lol
@@Zanos560 The only thing I can remember from early Steven Segal movies is some movie that had voodoo and a cut off titty on a table. 😂
Props for doing the entire review without explaining what the "Tha's Syphilis" comment was even about.
i watched it so you don't have to.
he's fighting a bunch of dudes and one guy with a mask, then the mask comes off revealing gnarly lesions on his face...
Seagull says "That's no freebase accident, that's syphilis" then proceeds to choke the man to death while getting very close to the lesions ..
my eyes
@@someguy79 OMG NOOO you didn't need to suffer for us 😭🤣
@@AedanBlackheart lol sacrifices must be made
@@someguy79 you are the hero we don’t deserve.🫡
"F*ck yeah, it was!"
I just want to say, I love you Space Ice for making these videos - you have no idea how much I look forward to all of them. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
And Seagal deserves to get his a$$ burned for being such a giant douche.
Not many man have survived watching a Steven Seagal movie in full length and dared enough to admit it. You are a brave man good sir.
Honestly, Nicholas Cage got me pregnant, JCVD made my testicles explode and now Seagal has given me syphilis. Your reviews are making me look like a right slag! 😂
Lol
As a Romanian i can confirm our taxis are mainly used for two things, blowing up and kidnapping random people 10/10 for historical accuracy.
and scamming tourists
XD
Such a backwards country Romania must be that your bartenders don't know the names of every cab driver.🤣🤣
I can't believe you're giving away the national taxi conspiracy/tradition of blowing up/kidnapping foreigners
I keep wondering what in the hell the nation or Romania ever did to Steven Seagal that made him want to set some of his movies in that country.
They left the random guy in the shot 🤣 No re-do needed. You are very good at reviews, please do more.
I'm honestly amazed by how little effort he puts in his movie, even a short film on TH-cam has better editing 🤣
@@Lalo-wv6mn yeah, this watermelon slap is dangerous because it will make someone fall over with laughter
I don't understand how this man only has 108k subscribers. A) He does the most hilarious movie reviews I've ever heard🤣🤣, and B) tortures himself with Shit-gal movies all to entertain us. This guy deserves a medal for all this🤣.
Abso-fucking-lutely!!!
@@joelellis7035im still laughing.i really needed that
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@scankhunt4206 Happy to help 😁
I just discovered this channel from this video… absolutely genius and hilarious
"The person running the green screen needs to calm the f#$k down" Hahahahahah😂
There's no way I'm not getting in trouble at work for accusing someone of having syphilis today.
I'm not leaving work today without accusing at least one person.
Dont do it, trust me its not worth it.....
I told a coworker that they had syphilis. Caught it just in time at stage one for treatment. She was so appreciative that she gave me syphilis.
@@mattmarzula No good deed goes unpunished. With syphilis.
@@spejic1
I fucking wheezed so loud, my cat assumed I hissed at him 😂😂😂
"And in such a crazed state, he kills his own double" legit lmao for 5 mins
So glad to see this channel growing! It might inadvertently cause a Steven Seagal revival 😅
It better not: would be accessory to money laundering lol.
Besides, man’s been doing like 5 movies a year since the early naughts and won’t let up till he descends to the dirt. We’ve got more than enough to keep this channel running for years. Let’s instead hope for yet another JCVD revival-I’d gladly give him more my money
“I was very impressed, with the way you broke the watermelon.” Best line ever…
"Nice! Your fruit killing skills are remarkable" - Gaz
Dude he didn't even break it! WTF was that all about?!! I am still laughing! 🤣
That's literally my favourite part in this movie review followed by Steven killing him with no context.
I just came home from a 14hr shift at the hospital. I'm glad I stopped by TH-cam before bed. This video took me out of that slump I was feeling all day. I went from 14hr tears of empathy to 16mins of tears of laughter.
Thank you for your service 🙏 working at a hospital is the hardest and most important jobs.
@@LeFroge Thx for this. I enjoy every moment. We all have important roles we play though in our lives, so I'm sure you are doing your part too. That is with whatever you are doing.
Hell yea man laughter is truly a precious thing that so little of our reality provides these days.
You're a hero for what you do. Thank you so much for your hard work!
Well he could've won an Oscar if this was labeled as a comedy.
😂
like for what? best make up?
Seagal is almost the ultimate Walter Mitty character, from his martial arts stories about training with masters who died before he ever went to Japan, to claiming he was a Navy Seal, Cop, etc... the man is pure cringe and blissfully unaware. Gold.
Look up Tom Segura's bit on Seagal. It's fucking hilarious.
8:52 - That image of the body double wearing Seagal's oversized clothes had me in stitches. 🤣
Fun fact: Seagal used to like to say he could beat up Jean-Claude Van Damme, so Van Damme challenged him to a fight, and Seagal made an excuse and left. Van Damme tracked him down and again offered him a chance to beat him up, and he ran away again.
Also, he once told a dude to choke him out, saying he couldn't be choked out, and not only passed out but sh4t himself.
Hey we at least know that he has beaten the biggest martial artist in Hollywood: John Leguizamo!
Leguizamo once said in an interview that the Almighty One slammed him into a wall with an Aikido move after the evil John laughed when Seagull came on set and said that he would be in command of the movie (Executive Decision). Well, Mr. Seagull, you know that martial arts are supposed to be used for defense only? But i guess Leguizamo hurt his feelings, so that counts too.
And let's not forget that the Almighty One once gave an interview where he said that neither Van Damme nor Michael Jay White were real martial artists in his eyes. And Chuck Norris would be too old for a fight - coming from the man who was also way past his prime and visibly out of shape ...
Remember the time Seagull drove a tank through a fence killing a guy's dog?
Or there was that time when the great sensei fled to Russia after being accused of rape.
Hell, i'd almost start to like Putin if he sends steven to the front in Ukraine..
@@nonegone7170 We know what would happen then: Our Steven would send his body doubles instead, because war is way to exhausting for someone who needs a double for anything else than sitting down 🥵🥵🥵
Gene Lebell is the fuy who choked the sh!t out of Steven....literally 🤣🤣🤣
@@bradleydahlgren6632 And on the subject of pro wrestlers making Steve look foolish, "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig also got that opportunity. Make a long story short: In the early 90s when Seagal was still a big action star, Hennig met him at a airport and the two shook hands. Seemingly wanting to prove his tough guy cred, Steve tried to apply a wrist lock on Curt. But Curt tightened his grip on Seagal's hand so hard, that it caused him to fall to his knees in pain. Fun part is that this all happened in front of a small crowd of onlookers curious at seeing the action star and pro wrestler both together.
Please never stop doing Seagal videos.
Said nobody ever to Seagal.
@@ArtistFormerlyKnownAsShitlord Holy Moly
I unironically want Seagal to make more movies so we can have more Ice Space videos
@@Quelthas space ice is now on the production credits of seagulls latest
@@ArtistFormerlyKnownAsShitlord Right! Coz they know if they do, they'll get a slap to someone's watermelon!
That's the closest I'll ever get to watching a Seagal film... or syphilis for that matter. Well done son. 👏
I never thought I could be addicted to these voiceovers but you sir earned a subscriber lol
I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time.
Someone just shared a link to your JCVD Knock Off. Now I'm bingeing your videos!
They are so insanely funny, I'm crying.
Thank you so much for creating these....PURE GENIUS
I cannot get enough of these. I want steven to never stop making movies so this man right here can make fun of them 😂
Who would've thought that we could benefit so much from organised crime engaging in money laundering
So that’s were all the money comes from for these shit movies !
Same here! 😂😂
'Nothing is more important to Sensei Seagal than his students... just kidding 0:52 FUCK YOU!" had me dying.
1:04 ?
Why did he kill his student(s)??
dude i rewinded that part like 30 times ...the way he says ...FUCK YOU 😭🤣🤣🤣💀💀
I loved having the name Steven.
Until 2013. I went and saw Tom Arnold.
He told Seagal stories of how he was on a boat and they said don’t go through this door. He told everyone off and ignored them. Went through the door and fell in the ocean. The mistake was picking him up. Now we know what kind of tool he is and I feel he need to change his name, for the benefit of Stevens everywhere.