Steven Seagal Movie Belly Of The Beast Is An Insult To All Humanity - Worst Movie Ever

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ต.ค. 2024
  • Re-upload as TH-cam restricted video for secret reasons they refuse to explain.
    The bad Steven Seagal movie Belly Of The Beast is a complete failure on every level. His fighting ability is now as bad as his acting, but nobody ever told him. It's unclear if he never watches his movies, somehow thinks they're good, or just doesn't care.
    #stevenseagal #badmovies #sobaditsgood #recap #movierecap

ความคิดเห็น • 5K

  • @meows_at_the_moon
    @meows_at_the_moon ปีที่แล้ว +6954

    Seagal needs to make a movie where he saves the Olympics by winning every gold medal himself on behalf of whatever country he's pretending to be from that day.

    • @Mitch_Conner75926
      @Mitch_Conner75926 ปีที่แล้ว +296

      He’s a Yale professor sir. Get it right.. 😂

    • @GrizzledTanker
      @GrizzledTanker ปีที่แล้ว +251

      Well, he lives in Russia now. So he'll probably get banned for doping.

    • @HamanKarn567
      @HamanKarn567 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      Russian mongol these days

    • @CarlosSpicyWang
      @CarlosSpicyWang ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Seagal is a traitorous piece of shit. Russian Nazi lover.

    • @joe718gt4
      @joe718gt4 ปีที่แล้ว +129

      Only after gunning down security guards and hospitality first, as usual

  • @ArcherSuh4721
    @ArcherSuh4721 ปีที่แล้ว +3049

    Bringing Seagal a family-sized meal is the most realistic moment of this movie.

    • @xxxCyber24xxx
      @xxxCyber24xxx ปีที่แล้ว +91

      This comment had me dying for like 5 minutes 🤣🤣🤣

    • @ericksantos6672
      @ericksantos6672 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Bruh kkkkk

    • @frwystr
      @frwystr ปีที่แล้ว +15

      💀

    • @Knuckles2oO6
      @Knuckles2oO6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      😂😂😂

    • @fiddlefaddle1
      @fiddlefaddle1 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      Seagal helps feed thousands of starving children...........................by skipping his lunch!

  • @tombuck
    @tombuck ปีที่แล้ว +792

    This movie like “Taken” except the only thing taken is our time.

    • @DaveMcGarry
      @DaveMcGarry ปีที่แล้ว +55

      Taken the piss

    • @Hybzy
      @Hybzy ปีที่แล้ว +67

      Steven Seagal has a very special set of skills, skills that he has acquired over a very long career, skills that make him a nightmare for people that like good cinema.

    • @tamermelegy6659
      @tamermelegy6659 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      😂😂😂

    • @darrinkemp1755
      @darrinkemp1755 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      And our souls.

    • @mightyoaks77
      @mightyoaks77 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      🤣🤣🤣🤣 seriously tho Come on, what about the amazing piece of professional athleticism at 1:30? Were so lucky it was caught on film for posterity, it was one of them where was you moments in history......

  • @joshshin6819
    @joshshin6819 ปีที่แล้ว +517

    I love how no matter how old Seagal gets his movies stay in the late 80s and early 90s

    • @DefendYoungstown
      @DefendYoungstown ปีที่แล้ว +25

      :Seagal voice:
      "You know what I like about these action movies? I keep getting older, and they stay the same age! Haahaaa, yes they do! Yes they do!"
      (Yes, you can also insert the ~actual~ line about "high school girls", with all the barely legal love interests... but the logic is applied to every movie as a whole and not just the ladies in it.)

    • @AR-ey1ur
      @AR-ey1ur 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      To be fair that's when the best movies were made. Hollywood is dead now.

    • @Silverfox1982
      @Silverfox1982 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      @@AR-ey1urif 80’s/90’s Seagal movies are the best ever, give me anything from dead Hollywood😂

    • @AR-ey1ur
      @AR-ey1ur 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      @@Silverfox1982 Compared to modern, woke movies, Segal movies are absolute masterpieces of cinematography.

    • @Silverfox1982
      @Silverfox1982 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      @@AR-ey1ur You almost had me for a second😂 Wait, are u serious?

  • @Aguijon1982
    @Aguijon1982 ปีที่แล้ว +2156

    "I fear not the man who makes a thousand bad movies but I fear the man who makes one bad movie a thousand times."
    Bruce Lee

    • @fathernature7874
      @fathernature7874 ปีที่แล้ว +154

      And seagal did both.
      Bruce Lee's Neighbor

    • @ziginaigra
      @ziginaigra ปีที่แล้ว +13

      😂

    • @alexscott730
      @alexscott730 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @tommyzDad
      @tommyzDad ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@fathernature7874 Nah, man -- Jennifer Lawrence did both, and she was the first. She founded Jeet Kune Do. 😜

    • @KeivSquirrel
      @KeivSquirrel ปีที่แล้ว +12

      He created the same movie.

  • @Ben-zn8pe
    @Ben-zn8pe ปีที่แล้ว +740

    “To confuse your enemies, you must first confuse yourself”
    -Sun Tzu Jr.

  • @beno1129
    @beno1129 ปีที่แล้ว +524

    Come on, give Seagal a break. At least he had the compassion to do his sex scene fully clothed. It could have been much worse is what I'm saying

    • @rfe8nn2
      @rfe8nn2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Plus he gave us the greatest excuse to stare at boobies. Hun I had to look at her boobs!! I had to decode a message.

    • @CerberusLives
      @CerberusLives ปีที่แล้ว +147

      Fortunately, I don't think there's a chance in hell that he'd want anyone to know what he actually looks like under that circus tent he calls a shirt.

    • @benjaminkamm6031
      @benjaminkamm6031 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dude, he seems like the type to 69 and have the lady on bottom. Like an animal lol

    • @snaker9er
      @snaker9er ปีที่แล้ว

      I genuinely wish he let down his ponytail and did full penetration

    • @einarvalentinoronn9870
      @einarvalentinoronn9870 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@CerberusLives 😁😆😄😅🤣😂

  • @jamesbubu
    @jamesbubu ปีที่แล้ว +993

    Steven Seagal is one of the most inspirational and talented actors of our generation.
    - Steven Seagal

    • @dmonix1
      @dmonix1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Men want to be him and women can't get enough of him.....😂😊

    • @mikegeld1280
      @mikegeld1280 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Lmaoooooooooo! ,,,,,,NOT

    • @zepeda201
      @zepeda201 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      I laughed a little too long from this

    • @mikegeld1280
      @mikegeld1280 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Lmao 🤣 are u F ing serious?! Dude,,,,this is a joke right,we used to watch s.seagull movies JUST to clown them,geez those were good times ,I remember laughing so hard !!!

    • @all0utmetal735
      @all0utmetal735 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      @mikegeld1280 kinda missed the joke there bud….

  • @j.k.6781
    @j.k.6781 ปีที่แล้ว +1283

    "But seagal desperately wants people to believe he is desirable...
    Nobody does, and he is not"
    I'm dying laughing here

    • @SupremacyGamesYT
      @SupremacyGamesYT ปีที่แล้ว +6

      We DO, and his IS

    • @AnAdorableWombat1
      @AnAdorableWombat1 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@SupremacyGamesYT you do and he is not

    • @micnorton9487
      @micnorton9487 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I know man this guy is a scream, his critiques are about a thousand times better than the Steven Seagal movie and shorter too lol...

    • @hapwn
      @hapwn ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Steven Seagal knows Victoria's secret.

    • @stevenrobert8567
      @stevenrobert8567 ปีที่แล้ว

      He was a jerk when he was young. Now he looks fat and super thick in the face. He is not likeable. If it wasn't for his martial arts training, he would have never made it in Hollywood.

  • @YaoEspirito
    @YaoEspirito ปีที่แล้ว +842

    I like how he can call a whole string of Seagal movies "the worst movie in the world", and then makes the case that each really is.
    Fantastic series.

    • @panhead55
      @panhead55 ปีที่แล้ว

      The magic boobies state you are correct…

    • @dmc6262
      @dmc6262 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Because his 1st movie was the worst in the world & each subsequent one is worse than the previous one so the title moves on. They were all the worst movie at some point in time.

    • @bnw1994
      @bnw1994 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@dmc6262 the worst movie in the world, so far.

    • @1mission786
      @1mission786 ปีที่แล้ว

      The asshole says dozens of people are being paid to denigrate him.

    • @donguapo7862
      @donguapo7862 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      The reasons why are even better one title said it was bad it killed Santa clause 🤣🤣🤣

  • @FunkySpaceLord
    @FunkySpaceLord ปีที่แล้ว +729

    Steven is a fighter. He's been fighting against diets and good acting for decades

    • @xro1983
      @xro1983 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      😂😂

    • @paulgoogol2652
      @paulgoogol2652 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      which was not too bad for him as fighting burns some calories.

    • @hapwn
      @hapwn ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Steven Seagal never had a heart attack, heart attack have Steven Seagal.

    • @MinusTheRogue
      @MinusTheRogue ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Losing the fight it seems…

    • @somaraisan
      @somaraisan 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      He like the Jamie Oliver of making movie

  • @Palindrome3945
    @Palindrome3945 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    "While this is happening, Ryu is fighting the entire Thailand army"
    The more I watch these videos, the more I laugh on the little things.

    • @el1r4n91
      @el1r4n91 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      me too lol

  • @Saku19
    @Saku19 ปีที่แล้ว +451

    Belly Of The Beast, I actually thought it was just about his beer gut.

  • @gangisspawn1
    @gangisspawn1 ปีที่แล้ว +715

    "He died the most predictable way possible by running away, slipping on a tomato, sliding through frozen fish, and hitting a clever." Yes, I'm so tired of that classic movie troup! 🤣🤣

    • @Bigedub101
      @Bigedub101 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Exactly this is sooo boring and repetitive 😂🤣

    • @metalzonemt-2
      @metalzonemt-2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Yeah, it's a thing in every goddamn movie from Godfather to Silence of the Lambs.

    • @bryanlongshore6198
      @bryanlongshore6198 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      That's how most people die.....or slipping on a banana peel and falling in front of a train...the 2nd most common cause of death..

    • @frankvonfrauner
      @frankvonfrauner 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      It was just missing the Wilhelm Scream

    • @sethlangston181
      @sethlangston181 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      "Even Seagal was wondering if this has gotten too stupid, even for him" 😂

  • @Milliardo5
    @Milliardo5 ปีที่แล้ว +1112

    It's ironic when you really want Seagal to make more terrible movies just so there's always a guaranteed supply of hilarious reviews for them.

    • @saia24
      @saia24 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      Hilarious to think that probably these reviews have a better rating than the movies themselves lol

    • @ftrunks2k
      @ftrunks2k ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@saia24 this is the only reason people may choose to buy the steaming pile of shit that are Seagal movies.

    • @jimmyzhao2673
      @jimmyzhao2673 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yes please ! More Seagal films.

    • @AztecMC1
      @AztecMC1 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      ive literally seen more segall movie reviews than i have marvel movie phases…

    • @alekesam
      @alekesam ปีที่แล้ว +5

      For real. I'm trying to pace myself because I don't want to r7n out of movies.

  • @Docru911
    @Docru911 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    “Because a gun that’s pointing at you while floating off the ground isn’t suspicious af.” 😂😂😂

  • @Mantinhas
    @Mantinhas ปีที่แล้ว +791

    There's no way Seagal became self-aware and named a movie after his own gut.

    • @thekiller7994
      @thekiller7994 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      He probably named it because it sounded cool

    • @yaredo895
      @yaredo895 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      😂😂😂

    • @rhatikeo
      @rhatikeo ปีที่แล้ว +26

      You have no idea lol his ego is so big he doesn't even know he exist only his hunger let's him know he's a beast

    • @SunnySingh-nk4zj
      @SunnySingh-nk4zj ปีที่แล้ว +7

      😂

    • @buckfitches2087
      @buckfitches2087 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      🤣🤣

  • @why_not_both
    @why_not_both ปีที่แล้ว +403

    “I am not making this up. This actually happens in the movie…” 😂

    • @xro1983
      @xro1983 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      😂😂😂

    • @DaniGerman1499
      @DaniGerman1499 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Literally fucking lost it at that part

    • @Trendleader863
      @Trendleader863 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I spit my fish tacos out at that part

    • @malteschaper3782
      @malteschaper3782 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Had to pause the video at that point to recollect.

    • @theultimatereductionist7592
      @theultimatereductionist7592 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Consider ourselves lucky. The scene could have been a LOT worse. It could have been Seagal pulling down his pants and... well you fill in the rest.

  • @7rich79
    @7rich79 ปีที่แล้ว +720

    "A man with a plot can make a movie. A man who has lost the plot can make any movie." - Steven Seagal probably.

  • @geeman4085
    @geeman4085 ปีที่แล้ว +198

    "And gives us this most disgusting love scene of all time" 😂😂

    • @primalconvoy
      @primalconvoy ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Now I want to see it.

    • @terrystokes7893
      @terrystokes7893 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      What movie was that from..
      The cops throwing up 😂

    • @jacokotze8602
      @jacokotze8602 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@terrystokes7893 Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

    • @antoinedesgagnes9969
      @antoinedesgagnes9969 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      ​@@terrystokes7893Ace Ventura

  • @godfather4377
    @godfather4377 ปีที่แล้ว +364

    I'll never get over him killing the taxi driver like he's in a Grand Theft Auto game. LOL

    • @SofaKingShit
      @SofaKingShit ปีที่แล้ว +24

      I'm no international legal expert but I'm guessing that sort of thing might get him in trouble with the Thailand authorities, unless there's a reciprocal agreement that each other's security forces can execute each other's service workers.

    • @notatrollll
      @notatrollll ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @strelokstalker212that was just seagals excuse

    • @KasumiRINA
      @KasumiRINA ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@SofaKingShit in Thailand he's probably jailed in solitary until US government bangs their head on the wall in frustration and gives some big shot drug dealer or arms trader in exchange... like look at Britney Griner, they had to free the Lord of War prototype dude for a goddamn idiot who thought moving into an extreme-right-wing dictatorship for a job while being a black lesbian AND taking cannabis with her was a good idea. And that's minor offense (though admittedly, Thailand is 100 times more free than russia), but you can see stories of people trapped abroad for drug smuggling (Thailand included) and it's not fun for them. An ordinary person would face hell for murder like that but actual special forces member doing this would warrant an international scandal and highly publicized prisoner exchange.

    • @cliff311976
      @cliff311976 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@KasumiRINA Right wing dictatorship?
      You mean America?

    • @Rossanna2000
      @Rossanna2000 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​@@cliff311976i think right wing or ultranationalism is better than communism 😁

  • @roberttangen6026
    @roberttangen6026 ปีที่แล้ว +212

    "Who can barely even make out the high-speed blur slowly rolling past them." Thats gold my friend.

  • @andrewkelly6828
    @andrewkelly6828 ปีที่แล้ว +169

    "The family sized order of food she brought is starting to win him over..." 🤣

    • @JoMagic-ny8zu
      @JoMagic-ny8zu ปีที่แล้ว +11

      She knew the rule.. A way to a man's ❤️ is through his stomach..🍔💩👍

    • @ironhell813
      @ironhell813 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      In this case you could literally walk through it….

  • @canicheenrage
    @canicheenrage ปีที่แล้ว +120

    Note that when he's jumping through the wagon to the small cart, he's jumping perpendicularly to the tracks, but lands on the cart in the tracks direction, allowing for momentum to push the cart forward. Another proof Seagal is a master of Space and Time.

    • @Borg14
      @Borg14 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Good catch! hahaha

    • @OzgurNevres
      @OzgurNevres ปีที่แล้ว +18

      He has enouh mass to bend the space-time.

    • @BruceBanner420s
      @BruceBanner420s 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I rewinded that scene so many times laughing so hard 🤣

    • @CONTACTLIGHTTOMMY
      @CONTACTLIGHTTOMMY 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Yeah... I saw that too.
      I like to imagine them setting up the scene, and one of the camera guys trying to explain the geometry of the shot to Seagal. Realism? Fckit.

    • @Goldenleyend
      @Goldenleyend 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Clearly the train tracks cross at that point 😂😂

  • @kerrj7285
    @kerrj7285 ปีที่แล้ว +203

    "While this is happening, Ryu is fighting the entire Thailand army" I was laughing throughout the whole video, but I absolutely lost it here

    • @go_better
      @go_better ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ahaha

    • @tailedgates9
      @tailedgates9 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      He stole the movie. XD He was the real hero.

    • @captainmidnightgaming
      @captainmidnightgaming ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Of course he has to carve a swath through Thailand, Sagat and Bison are there

  • @mansymousa7599
    @mansymousa7599 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    I like how he implies every Seagal movie is "the worst movie ever" and somehow I absolutely agree lol what a guy Seagal is

  • @wtfiswiththosehandles
    @wtfiswiththosehandles ปีที่แล้ว +259

    "Seagal goes where the magic boobies tell him to go"
    Man, for once I wish I was like Seagal.

    • @danielwilliams7562
      @danielwilliams7562 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I would like this comment but then it would no longer be the holy 69

    • @PygmalionFaciebat
      @PygmalionFaciebat ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@danielwilliams7562 Its now 109 likes anyway - so you can like it ;)

    • @Lilboozibert
      @Lilboozibert ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ~ And somehow, that's the best writing of Seagal's career.

  • @SpectreStatus
    @SpectreStatus ปีที่แล้ว +56

    "There's this weird old man, who has a Steven Seagal voodoo doll..... Yes I'm serious.." 😄😄

  • @geraldframinghammer2626
    @geraldframinghammer2626 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    "...Seagal goes where the, uh, magic boobies tell him to go..." 🤣🤣

  • @bilalattique
    @bilalattique ปีที่แล้ว +217

    "Even seagal's wondering whether it's gotten stupid even for him". I'm dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @djangomatador9442
      @djangomatador9442 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      "Nah, we good"

    • @PygmalionFaciebat
      @PygmalionFaciebat ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@djangomatador9442 Just imagine, how stupid the cut out scenes have to be, when a "kill by a tomato" he Steven answers with "nah, , we good" xD ... i would love to see a compilation of cut out scenes from Seagulls movies xD

  • @SpaceIce
    @SpaceIce  ปีที่แล้ว +1571

    Re-upload. TH-cam restricted last video and claims they're not allowed to say why

    • @deviltronix
      @deviltronix ปีที่แล้ว +243

      TH-cam has become total garbage. Maybe you could upload to Odyssee as well?

    • @eriklunden5218
      @eriklunden5218 ปีที่แล้ว +142

      I have a strong opinion on this, but I can't tell you.

    • @GrubbJunker
      @GrubbJunker ปีที่แล้ว +161

      This is the same video that was re-uploaded before? Seagal movies are so similar I really can't tell which is which.

    • @LeiCal69
      @LeiCal69 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@deviltronix Naaa if they said they are not allowed to say it imply court orders, not saying Space Ice is getting sue but maybe the film was involved in a suit, just my guess.

    • @christophercollins3632
      @christophercollins3632 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You blurred that swimmer’s buttcrack in the beginning. I remember thirsting over her.
      Our culture is so upside-down. Exploding bodies, no problem. Buttcrack, demonetized.

  • @lesleystuart8934
    @lesleystuart8934 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    The narration is so absolutely hilarious that I hope that Seagal makes loads more " action movies " so that you can keep doing these narratives. I have spent all afternoon, with a dodgy mouth after a trip to the dentist, laughing my head off!
    Brilliant, brilliant, thank you.

  • @Damian-lu8sx
    @Damian-lu8sx ปีที่แล้ว +324

    No matter how much you beat yourself up and think little of yourself, just remind yourself that someone like Steven Seagal exists and you're not him

    • @jayroo10
      @jayroo10 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @alexnava8729
      @alexnava8729 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      He’s still wealthy and doesn’t seem to care what others think. Talk about him negatively or positively, people still talk about him. He’s chilling I’m sure.

    • @henrijs1733
      @henrijs1733 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      he's still entertaining millions of people, as you can see. surely a rapist/pedo/Hitler would be a better comparison.

    • @00_rei90
      @00_rei90 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'd love be a multi millionaire starring in my own action movies (no matter how cheesy and ridiculous) and banging all these roasties for a chance to be a movie star

    • @goldensloth7
      @goldensloth7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      awww thank you

  • @knowledgebits346
    @knowledgebits346 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    Steven Segal can rightfully claim that he now has a belly of the beast

  • @DangerousPuhson
    @DangerousPuhson ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Love the consistency in cycling through the pronunciations of "Reye-yoo", "Ree-yoo", and "Roo" throughout. Gold.

  • @macrograms
    @macrograms ปีที่แล้ว +192

    the amount of effort it took for Steven to roll over on that railroad trolley car was amazing. he must have eaten breakfast twice that day to have enough energy to roll over. what a legend.

    • @lilknox2225
      @lilknox2225 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Bro im dead💀💀

    • @jakebroz9116
      @jakebroz9116 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      And you know damn well he let out a lil toot when he did the roll

    • @homerjharry6315
      @homerjharry6315 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lmfao

    • @unstablegenius2325
      @unstablegenius2325 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • @painkiller2899
    @painkiller2899 ปีที่แล้ว +535

    If Steve seagal would have worked in Bollywood he would have been super duper star of India 😂😂😂

    • @SILOPshuvambanerjee
      @SILOPshuvambanerjee ปีที่แล้ว +38

      I agree with you as an Indian

    • @GF-mf7ml
      @GF-mf7ml ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Indian movie are ridiculous anyway

    • @downeedles9249
      @downeedles9249 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      I'm not sure i want to see him dance

    • @Donadzea
      @Donadzea ปีที่แล้ว +83

      @@downeedles9249 You will never see him dance, that would be his body double.

    • @EternalFlame-f3z
      @EternalFlame-f3z ปีที่แล้ว +6

      ​@@downeedles9249that'd be op😂😂😂

  • @mfrost71w
    @mfrost71w ปีที่แล้ว +403

    He's a genius - he made Under Siege, a good movie, so that everyone will watch his next 200 films thinking "surely he can't have made only one good film?" Not realising that every film he's made since is the worst ever film ever made until the next one he makes.

    • @FuShengAlex
      @FuShengAlex ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Under Siege copied Die Hard. Although it was his biggest earner....Hard to Kill was his best movie

    • @homelessjesse9453
      @homelessjesse9453 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@FuShengAlex Personally, I love Marked for Death. Those Jamaican gangsters were badass.

    • @DerMeister821
      @DerMeister821 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Under Siege wasn't even that good though. Most movies I re-watch at some point in my life. I've never re-visited that one.

    • @davidkymdell452
      @davidkymdell452 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      The two things I remember about Under Siege is the knife fight with Tommy Lee Jones and Erica Eleniak popping out of a cake...naked...I think 🤔

    • @mfrost71w
      @mfrost71w ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@DerMeister821 no, I quite liked Under Siege and it had much better production values than most of his films. Also, another genius move, his acting looks much better than normal because the other stars are as one dimensional as him - Gary Busey can only play Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones can only play Tommy Lee Jones

  • @Wildcat_93
    @Wildcat_93 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Seagal really is like the kid on the playground who tries to convince you that he French-kissed the girl several grades above him as well as the teacher and also that he has secret powers. That bit with the fuckin voodoo guy really brings it all home though. I guess he just had to let everyone who thought he was completely full of himself already know that he was not full yet and clearly still had much more room in that bloated ego of his to go.

  • @samkitty5894
    @samkitty5894 ปีที่แล้ว +141

    Seagal's acting range, in his face is amazing... One look covers all the emotions and feelings....Constipation, happiness, anger, joy, curiosity, concern, love, caring, sleepiness, anticipation, enjoyment, erection, etc.

    • @the_kombinator
      @the_kombinator ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Calculon can learn from Seagal.

    • @Bojan849
      @Bojan849 ปีที่แล้ว

      Old joke, new idiots, right? 🤣

    • @rosemarymcgrory-eb2gd
      @rosemarymcgrory-eb2gd ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂 😂😂😂 epic 👍👍👍👍

    • @sayresrudy2644
      @sayresrudy2644 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😅😂😂😂

    • @nicka140
      @nicka140 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Please tell me im not the only one who had seagals same facial expression flash in their head while reading every emotion. 😂😂😂

  • @Countdownsmiles
    @Countdownsmiles ปีที่แล้ว +139

    I like how this guy covered his bases by pronouncing "Ryu" 3 different ways throughout the video to avoid getting called out for pronouncing it wrong lol

    • @Twulfbynight
      @Twulfbynight ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Ryu was actually the best part of this farce 😂

    • @Ratciclefan
      @Ratciclefan ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "Roo" near the end was definitely the biggest surprise 😂

  • @Omrentonth999
    @Omrentonth999 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    Seagal really believes people find true love at strip clubs lol I died

  • @paintedsky3879
    @paintedsky3879 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Slipping on a tomato then sliding on a table full of frozen fish face first into a meat cleaver is actually a very common accident. Make sure not to leave tomatoes on the floor near the frozen fish table, and always slide feet first with legs apart.

    • @Bigedub101
      @Bigedub101 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      And make sure to put ur cleavers away

  • @civil_villain
    @civil_villain ปีที่แล้ว +210

    I've been worried about Steven for a long time. His weight fluctuates so much during his movies, I can't help but think he's working so hard to entertain us, that he's not taking good enough care of himself.

    • @MrPobanz
      @MrPobanz ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Christian Bale in Machinist is nothing compared to Seagals levels of commitment!

    • @Krystalmyth
      @Krystalmyth ปีที่แล้ว +57

      He has no time to workout or take care of himself because he's so busy practicing Bullshido for us and his movies. 😭

    • @Mitch_Conner75926
      @Mitch_Conner75926 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@MrPobanz I heard seagal ate bale on his way to the buffet..

    • @JamesHannagan
      @JamesHannagan ปีที่แล้ว +11

      It's because he just films random clips at various times which then end up edited together into an incoherent straight-to-video movie. So in one scene he's gained a sun tan and 10kg since the previous scene.

    • @capsuleboi
      @capsuleboi ปีที่แล้ว +9

      It's ok, Steven is just using his chi to strategically shift his mounds of protective aikido fat to different parts of his body for maximum effect.

  • @OldNerdPlayingOldPCGames
    @OldNerdPlayingOldPCGames ปีที่แล้ว +133

    14:59 Actually, Seagal got sore while filming, but he's so lazy he didn't want to repeat the shot, so they had to add the voodoo afterward to explain it appropriately.

    • @CDPW
      @CDPW ปีที่แล้ว +41

      What would've been more realistic is explaining he had a heart attack from eating too much nachos.

    • @OldNerdPlayingOldPCGames
      @OldNerdPlayingOldPCGames ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@CDPW Indeed, this is also very probable. Poor man, I started to feel sorry for him. He should rather have used a double, as always.

  • @joestunnerboxing
    @joestunnerboxing ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Seagal's permanent furrowed brow always suggests he's just realised he's left the iron on.

  • @jjmac1847
    @jjmac1847 ปีที่แล้ว +79

    "seagal goes where the magic boobies told him to go" im in stitches!

    • @kentgrinton5093
      @kentgrinton5093 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hope you’re not drinking or eating when you hear the greatest words
      Magic Boobies

    • @MrMairu555
      @MrMairu555 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Totally believable. I've gone where the magic boobies have told me in Thailand many times! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @julieta203
    @julieta203 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    " Seagal really believes people find true love at strip clubs" That was pure gold!

    • @kirkhotopp2522
      @kirkhotopp2522 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Steven Seagal can find true taking a Lady from A Strip Bar to The Golden Corral

  • @WraithDesignz
    @WraithDesignz ปีที่แล้ว +179

    These are such GOLD. Please, never stop making these unless it pisses you off and your sick of this shit, but even so....never stop. I couldn't laugh harder if I wished it.

    • @AmunitionMagicn
      @AmunitionMagicn ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I second this guys comment. Never stop because these are priceless.

    • @BewareTheLilyOfTheValley
      @BewareTheLilyOfTheValley ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He'll run out of movies eventually, but I still hope he finds other horrible movies to review.

    • @moncreebrown948
      @moncreebrown948 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Man I swear, this shit is way too funny.

    • @WraithDesignz
      @WraithDesignz ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley I see TV series in the near future then, and possibly, followed by video games and their storylines and how F'd up some can be. :P

  • @head_bussa
    @head_bussa ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Seagal is the type of guy who has so much pride. If he gets a movie script that shows him being hit once in a fight, we won't approve it.

    • @sethlangston181
      @sethlangston181 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      The only time he does get hit was by some random voodoo guy that was introduced 5 minutes before the end of the movie, but even then, voodoo guy is randomly killed off by chanting Buddhist monks 😂

  • @shivalishankersharma1562
    @shivalishankersharma1562 ปีที่แล้ว +228

    I lost it at the voodoo guy stabbing the doll and Seagal trying to express what is supposed to be pain by slightly frowning his eyebrows

    • @SILOPshuvambanerjee
      @SILOPshuvambanerjee ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I loved when the Taxi guy got killed for no reason

    • @YokaiX
      @YokaiX ปีที่แล้ว +6

      ​​@@SILOPshuvambanerjeeHe didn't wanna pay the driver

    • @birbwatcher5515
      @birbwatcher5515 ปีที่แล้ว

      i was lost at those magic boobs who reveals secrets

    • @38dragoon38
      @38dragoon38 ปีที่แล้ว

      He looked like he was hungry rather than in pain!

    • @Pandalka
      @Pandalka ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@SILOPshuvambanerjee and how nobody in that universe cares about all the dead bodies left behind

  • @ModestCube100
    @ModestCube100 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    When he was sliding I lost it😂😂😂😂

  • @eoinoconnell185
    @eoinoconnell185 ปีที่แล้ว +222

    As of 2022, Segal's net worth is $16 million.
    Truly one of the greatest comedy actors of all time !

    • @Daemonarch2k6
      @Daemonarch2k6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Legends had it, that seagal movies have so much seagal stunt doubles in it, than marvel movies CGI-artists in them.

    • @Milo-il9qc
      @Milo-il9qc ปีที่แล้ว +6

      also one of the most athletic aswell as intelligent people on the planet

    • @colmanpm
      @colmanpm ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow. That much?🤨😂🙈

    • @The_Original_Brad_Miller
      @The_Original_Brad_Miller ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And that is the true secret of Segal..... Every one complains his movies are pure $hit, but they are released overseas and Segal gets Paid again and again lol

    • @Flint-Dibble-the-Don
      @Flint-Dibble-the-Don ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@The_Original_Brad_Miller He's the face of a money laundering front. He's paid to make it all seem legit.

  • @Iburn247
    @Iburn247 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    I can't stop laughing while watching this 🤣 "wonders if it's too stupid even for him... But it isn't" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @MrQynchou
    @MrQynchou ปีที่แล้ว +29

    "a high speed blur slowly rolling past them"
    these recaps are too good

  • @frederickwagner5776
    @frederickwagner5776 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This guy bagging on Seagal has got to be some of the highest value entertainment out there 😂

  • @christophermolina9231
    @christophermolina9231 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    The secret location written on the lady’s chest had me in stitches 😂

  • @elduderinoakahisdudeness
    @elduderinoakahisdudeness ปีที่แล้ว +53

    The magic boobies message was the best part of the plot.

  • @vincentvanzant321
    @vincentvanzant321 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    I just wish we got a seagal video game. All stats maxed out at very beginning. 7 different story lines happening all at once with 4 going absolutely nowhere and ending abruptly. Then takes out the final boss while sitting down flailing his arms wildly. That game would be BADASS!!!!

    • @F1lip3JF
      @F1lip3JF ปีที่แล้ว +4

      THAT would be amazing.

    • @brendonculhane7321
      @brendonculhane7321 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Actually Konami released a fighting game on the PS1 called Kensei : Sacred Fist. One of the playable characters bares a close resemblance to Mr Seagal.

    • @vincentvanzant321
      @vincentvanzant321 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@brendonculhane7321 now I have to find this game.

    • @ericwoods6286
      @ericwoods6286 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sifu pc community already made a mod for that. One of his special focus attacks calls in a body double when the player needs to do some high flying gymnastics work. No guns, it's just kung fu from the base game.

    • @sharpfalcon6196
      @sharpfalcon6196 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@brendonculhane7321 Douglas Anderson looks incredibly like 1990s Steven Seagal.

  • @omerta316
    @omerta316 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    He's basically playing himself in every movie

  • @rodneyjessop3398
    @rodneyjessop3398 ปีที่แล้ว +276

    When the cost of living goes through the roof and it is hard to find anything to smile about God bless Steven for making yet another comic master piece for all to laugh with/ at.

    • @matricule69
      @matricule69 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      i had the exact same feeling...it made me laugh....and relax and see the the absurdity in this world

    • @dreia2405
      @dreia2405 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      How about blessing Space Ice too 😃

    • @cybergothika6906
      @cybergothika6906 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Amem, my brother.

    • @jrbear-qb4ko
      @jrbear-qb4ko ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Belly of the beast, the most appropriate title for a Seagal movie I've ever seen.

  • @DarkKnightCap
    @DarkKnightCap ปีที่แล้ว +45

    He has to have the world record for fight scenes while sitting down.

  • @RM-dq9ne
    @RM-dq9ne ปีที่แล้ว +85

    "Still more believable than Seagal doing gymnastics " im dead 😂

    • @Haibing22
      @Haibing22 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      “Oh, for f**ks sake, Seagal!” 😂😂😂

  • @NDB-Semper
    @NDB-Semper ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "Even Segal's wondering if this is too stupid, even for him." Superior narration Mr. Ice

  • @BknMoonStudios
    @BknMoonStudios ปีที่แล้ว +330

    The fact that Ryu destroyed an army of Tailandese soldiers in the same time it took Seagal to defeat _one_ person will never stop being hilarious to me.

    • @user-njyzcip
      @user-njyzcip ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Thai*

    • @snowwhitever2336
      @snowwhitever2336 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@user-njyzcip ok smartypants . no one cares . here is your raw egg. enjoy.

    • @snowwhitever2336
      @snowwhitever2336 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@user-njyzcip you are dumb as a rock. what if i can watch gaming videos and also play games myself. how dare i do something i enjoy and how dare i enjoy watching gaming videos you nerd.

    • @Nobody-yt9gz
      @Nobody-yt9gz ปีที่แล้ว +10

      The lad continued to kill what remained from the army and Stevy found the general during that by the way

    • @rfe8nn2
      @rfe8nn2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      When in Thailand do what Van Damme does and not Steven Seagal.

  • @abdulmodibbo6319
    @abdulmodibbo6319 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    "And everyone just start shooting everyone else" best plot twist ever.

  • @ObeyBanksy
    @ObeyBanksy ปีที่แล้ว +88

    Absolutely hilarious commentary, very clever. I almost feel like Seagal simply films like 5 minute blocks and then just mixes and matches these blocks at random until he reaches the desired length, slaps a title on it and calls it a movie.

  • @pvt.prinny759
    @pvt.prinny759 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I’m actually impressed he is very good at writing movies like an AI would

  • @definitelynotseagal-iz3qc
    @definitelynotseagal-iz3qc ปีที่แล้ว +43

    The police chief guy does not risk moving while Seagal is not looking at him because he knows of Seagal's deadly no-look aiming technique all too well. Also, Seagal is actually tracking him by his reflection in the other officers forehead sweat. Duh.

  • @destinyjamcookie
    @destinyjamcookie ปีที่แล้ว +23

    “Even seagull’s wondering if this has gotten too stupid even for him” nah we’re good 😂

  • @noControl556
    @noControl556 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Got to give it to Seagal for having the balls to call a move "Belly of the Beast" with a gut like that.

  • @si0054
    @si0054 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I can’t even imagine the lunacy that goes on during takes. It’s like Seagull is purposely taking the piss, that’s got to be it. Seagull has an immense sense of depreciating humour and we have all missed it. 😂😂😂

  • @moxifloxi
    @moxifloxi ปีที่แล้ว +31

    TH-cam’s guidelines are a joke 💀
    Never ever stop making these

  • @jay-ham5649
    @jay-ham5649 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    “Family sized order of food is starting to win him over” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @FrankieHresko
    @FrankieHresko ปีที่แล้ว +136

    Man I found your channel few days ago and I tell you.. I haven't laughed that much in ages! Absolutely hilarious narration!
    And I love those little details(stunt double, dodgy paperworks, fake badges etc etc) you always point out what can easily be missed watching movie for the first time.. 😉
    Keep on good work!

    • @coachgrimo9531
      @coachgrimo9531 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Exactly!

    • @yalguunhuuhen5915
      @yalguunhuuhen5915 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hell Yeah, man! Shit's funny as hell!

    • @duncs001
      @duncs001 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The part after 10 mins - the seductive woman with magic symbols on her breasts --- classic

    • @urbanprojectz
      @urbanprojectz ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@duncs001 and the random monks killing the voodoo guy with magic, introduced right at the end with no context. :')

    • @leafXIV
      @leafXIV ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same here. I haven't laughed this much in a long time. We should feel grateful for Seagal. We wouldn't have had this video without him.

  • @ericrecano8557
    @ericrecano8557 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    This review was a bonafide masterpiece-how Sensei Seagal is able to keep cranking these terrible movies out is a mystery since I find it hard to believe that any of these make any profit-but I’m glad he does so that you can keep making these amazing reviews!

    • @davidconsumerofmath
      @davidconsumerofmath ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Is a mystery to me too as well how they keep on making a profit??? As surely they must, why else do they keep on getting made??

  • @nabeelahmedkhanofficial
    @nabeelahmedkhanofficial ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Its remarkable how Seagal with literally zero talent in acting, story writing and direction doesn't let it stop him from doing acting, story writing and direction.

  • @d3l3tes00n
    @d3l3tes00n ปีที่แล้ว +20

    You have the best titles for these videos. They're always 100% correct, too. My favorite was, "Steven Seagal's movie The Foreigner is the worst movie since his last." I died.

  • @nanucit
    @nanucit ปีที่แล้ว +105

    12:09 the US saving the hostages by killing the hostages is the most believable part of all Seagull's movies 🗽

    • @kobaltsteel6418
      @kobaltsteel6418 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      And even then, I still don't think that happens... they'd probably take forever to save them instead, for some reason

    • @TheDigitalThreat
      @TheDigitalThreat ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kobaltsteel6418 in reality they wouldnt be in that situation! As the government- well the CIA, would be the ones holding the hostages to begin with~!

    • @charlescossel7948
      @charlescossel7948 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Totally brilliant!

    • @DeadFishFactory
      @DeadFishFactory ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I think that's Russian special forces more than US ones.

    • @mosesgoldbergshekelstien1520
      @mosesgoldbergshekelstien1520 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DeadFishFactory nah sounds like America “ let’s save the kids at WACO by lighting them on fire then we will pose on the corpses of the dead and take pictures but then do a Netflix doco and say it made us sad that we killed women and children “

  • @qpeocn
    @qpeocn ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Funny how the kidnapped daughter disappeared from plot. 🤣

    • @BruceBanner420s
      @BruceBanner420s 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Ikr 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @vectorfox4782
    @vectorfox4782 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    *The Family Size Food She Brought Is Starting To Win Him Over*

  • @mikeyzero2439
    @mikeyzero2439 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I'm somewhat a connoisseur of very abrasive criticisms of terrible actors/movies/anything, and this channel is like a fine, rare wine.

  • @ac4185
    @ac4185 ปีที่แล้ว +101

    Life isn't fair. He has the looks, the fighting skills, and the acting chops. What do I have?

    • @suXses
      @suXses ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Asthma? Diabetes? Hypertension? Delusions of grandeur? I'm sure Seagal has atleast three of these.

    • @humbleking800
      @humbleking800 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Also a world renowned Blues Guitarist

    • @mozi3051
      @mozi3051 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      The priviledge of watching him.

    • @falconeshield
      @falconeshield ปีที่แล้ว +4

      A valid passport?

    • @jsilva4847
      @jsilva4847 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Shame?

  • @ryanhills3456
    @ryanhills3456 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    When a man makes a full-time career roasting Steven Seagal, and it gets funnier with each video. The hero we didn't ask for but the hero we've always needed.

  • @YoursTruly_16
    @YoursTruly_16 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    'He does what he does best.'
    'Go to a Strip club'😆

  • @BastosFC2
    @BastosFC2 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    The funniest thing is he literally never gets hit in any of his movies, not a single punch ever lands on him.
    (It was a joke guys chill)

    • @tomz5704
      @tomz5704 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      That's because he's a master in all kinds of martial arts

    • @fanofgodjimindiva2497
      @fanofgodjimindiva2497 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      The only time a punch landed on him was in The Glimmer Man movie. And it was only because Seagal allowed it to happen. He told the main bad guy ¨gimme your best shot¨ and the villain clocked him on the nose, making it bleed. Seagal's reaction was ¨¨that's all you got?¨, then proceeded to kill the bad guy by grabbing the guy by the neck and throwing him to a spiked fence. Sensei Seagal is badass like that

    • @MartinZanichelli
      @MartinZanichelli ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@fanofgodjimindiva2497 Excellent observation. Also in The Glimmer Man, when he leaves the restaurant after talking to Brian Cox's character, two guys grab him for about ten seconds.

    • @fanofgodjimindiva2497
      @fanofgodjimindiva2497 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@MartinZanichelli Yeah, but they couldn't really harm Seagal. It's nigh impossible to hurt him in a physical fight. The very few times the bad guys have done a number on him it was thanks to the use of guns (Hard to Kill) or explosions (on Deadly Ground)

    • @AlMeZero
      @AlMeZero ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How about that one with Mike Tyson? Didn't he even end up *losing* that fight? Don't remember though, never watched any of his movies beyond videos dunking on him and said movies, lmao.

  • @davelowets
    @davelowets ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Man! Steven can't stay out of strip clubs long enough to make a movie, so the producer just follows him around filming during his real life, and incorporates it into the flick.. 😕

  • @gregorypatterson7530
    @gregorypatterson7530 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Bro the breast scene was crazy 🤣😂😂😂😂😂. I can't believe I use to think Steven Segal's movies were good 😂😂

  • @JMurdochNZ
    @JMurdochNZ ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I was brushing my teeth at the hand signals bit and nearly sprayed toothpaste foam everywhere. Great video as always dude.

  • @shockwave402
    @shockwave402 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I love all the "Anyways" transitions in all these videos after he gives up on trying to explain the stupidity in these films.

  • @BaldHeadedManc
    @BaldHeadedManc ปีที่แล้ว +115

    Him sliding across the floor was INSANE😂😂 that had to be someone who didn't like him that allowed that to make the cut...then again it was probably Seagal who was like, "Yeah, that looks good."🤦🏼‍♂️

    • @thediaz07
      @thediaz07 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      😂😆😆😂 lol exactly what was the point of him sliding?

    • @Mitch_Conner75926
      @Mitch_Conner75926 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@thediaz07 To show how “agile” he is 😂

    • @thediaz07
      @thediaz07 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@Mitch_Conner75926 LMAO 🤣 to show how agile his stunt double is...lol did you see the part when he punched the guys and they went flying 20 feet??

    • @dizzy1369
      @dizzy1369 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I think he was trying to show that he can do it better than van Damme. Pssst, he can't. 🤣🤣🤣 No one did it better than Weng Weng though 🤣😂🤣

    • @BaldHeadedManc
      @BaldHeadedManc ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@dizzy1369 probably cause Weng Weng actually got shoved across the floor, I love that shit, they'd need heavy machinery to do that to Seagal😂😂

  • @AmunitionMagicn
    @AmunitionMagicn ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I just want to say that this channel is probably the best thing ive come across on youtube in all the years ive been on it.

  • @BEHEMONAUT
    @BEHEMONAUT 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is one of the most entertaining TH-cam projects I have ever stumbled upon. Hats off Space Ice. Even when I think I don't want to keep watching, I just keep watching

  • @JohnThunder
    @JohnThunder ปีที่แล้ว +69

    7 rules for life of Steven Seagal ( I learned ) from this movie :
    - Act like you own your shit - ( even if you don't )
    - Do some fancy hands in the air dance with a serious face - ( Next Level Bullshido )
    - When running watch out for Tomatoes on the floor they can be deadly -
    - You can always find TRUE LOVE 100% at a Strip Club -
    - If you mumble too much when speaking, just dub your voice -
    - When in doubt, in life, run and join a monastery -
    - When shooting a gun and you run out of ammo, just fiddle with the slide and continue firing ( works every time )

    • @petergray7576
      @petergray7576 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Rule eight:
      -Never.... EVER.... reveal how fat you've gotten. Refrain from any physical activity, use body doubles and dubbing, and if you're face becomes fat, grow the stupidest beard in human history to conceal. Also refrain from taking your clothes off.

    • @hgfuhgvg
      @hgfuhgvg ปีที่แล้ว +15

      From another movie: when shot through the heart, wrap a shirt around the chest. 100% guaranteed to work

    • @mpicc4808
      @mpicc4808 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂

    • @Daemonarch2k6
      @Daemonarch2k6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Bullshido! Excellent, that's where i could get the black belt in!

    • @mayhemmcfly4229
      @mayhemmcfly4229 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The "Mumble too much? Dub your own voice" and "When in doubt, run off and join a monastery"....
      Those just killed me. The wisdom you can pick up from TH-cam comments never ceases to amaze 👍

  • @ukguy
    @ukguy ปีที่แล้ว +81

    Seagal is such a legend, he even taught Bruce Lee (according to him)

    • @magicmulder
      @magicmulder ปีที่แล้ว +36

      “Thanks sensei, now I know how not to do it.” (Bruce Lee, probably)

    • @Choomsy
      @Choomsy ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@magicmulder I'm crying lmao

    • @theultimatereductionist7592
      @theultimatereductionist7592 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Bruce Lee died too soon in life to spare himself the tragedy of having to watch any Seagal movies🤣.

  • @denimjeanz916
    @denimjeanz916 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    “There is no darkness without light and yet there is light without darkness, I am have both within me” -Steven Seagal

    • @Retardah
      @Retardah ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Dumbest quote ever.

  • @nuzhinga
    @nuzhinga 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Seagal just makes up some hand signals. 😂

  • @SirWilliamKidney
    @SirWilliamKidney ปีที่แล้ว +58

    I'm glad we finally get to see such a realistic representation of a Taiwanese voodoo monk telepathy battle! Western movies are just scared of showing so much realism I'm glad Seagal can cut through the bull and give us real life action!

    • @viriya24
      @viriya24 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It’s Thailand. I feel bad for Taiwan taking the responsibility of this. We are going to proudly take the L

  • @ThomasfromDenmark1
    @ThomasfromDenmark1 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    "What he does best - goes to a stripclub, makes stripper fall in love with him" LoooooL broh, everytime!

    • @JoMagic-ny8zu
      @JoMagic-ny8zu ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's because these chicks can't resist the dadbod....💪

  • @joe1504
    @joe1504 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I'm starting to think Segal is trolling us with this over the top movies that make no sense. Love him or hate him, nobody will forget him. Legend