Steven Seagal Movie Today You Die Is So Bad It's A Crime Against Humanity - Worst Movie Ever
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.พ. 2025
- The Steven Seagal movie Today You Die is a horrific disaster of a movie, that no human should be forced to endure. It violates common decency and several articles of the Geneva Convention. If you love your children, please keep them away from Steven Seagal and this travesty of a movie.
#stevenseagal #badmovies #worstmovies
Check out my Patreon for ad-free and censorship free videos: patreon.com/Space_Ice
Hes a black man trapped in a white mans body.
You are a national treasure! Thank you for this channel!
Did seagull just use the scene from the van Damme movie "the order" when he shoots the wire at the building beginning of the movie 😂
@@Purrrrfectshot Certainly possible as apparently the high speed chase in Las Vegas was actually from the 1998 movie Top of the World and some viewers believe sections of this movie were from the Fast and the Furious films.
do you have the '13 dead men' one? that one was hilarious.
This one man’s war against Steven Segal is one of the most beautiful things on the internet
We are almost 300k strong
Somebody has to lead the charge.
Do I know you? GUT BUSTING!!!
INDEED!!!
@RobbHerrera We all see a bit the movie and keep shut but he sensibly analyzes it.
"Walks like a black man, breathes like a killer" Seagal is a modern poet.
lmao
When I heard this line I for real almost choked 🤣🤣🤣
Freakin laughed out loud
😂😂😂😂😭😭😭 I'm dead that was too funny
🤣 couldn't stop laughing
If a childrens hospital goes "out of business" they either did a perfect job or the worst job possible
It’s a Seagul movie, so worst.
Lmao 🤣
They cured all childhood illnesses but Seagal's movie career caused new ones to form.
Or they went Seagal.
@@Pianoman999😂😂😂U right, so basically they had a 100% mortality rate
This poor guy has subjected himself to grievous torture watching Steve seagulls movies. I feel for this guy.
The amount of comedy that he makes from it, is well worth his torture.
The man is hero. Because of his work, we all sleep better at night.
He is a seagullsologist. Pity the sacrifice this scientist has made to his IQ. Poor bastich
The Space Ice Guy deserves to be an action hero for this.
Steve'N'Seagulls is a decent parody band!
Seagal randomly switching between 2 jackets the entire movie is hilarious
😂🥲😂👍🏻
Kinda reminds me of Betty A.K.A Master Pain from Kung pow...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@blk99solja You're clothes are black!
The Jacket Switcher
And him replaying stock footage of the same punch over and over again through the entire movie was the icing on the cake 😂
The “going out of business” sign on the children’s hospital is so hilariously stupid lmfao, only Steven Seagal himself could come up with such a out of touch detail
Or The Three Stooges
@@johnl5350😂
Wouldn't it make more sense to be an orphanage that's closing? Seems like the parents could just go to a different hospital?
@Dan-di9jd 😂😂Man I can't be bringing logic into a Seagal movie
The going out of business sign had me in absolute stitches. You know he's never been to a children's hospital before.
Thank god.
Seagal has to have false images in his movies that he thinks will make him look good in real life. He's a weird character
@Peter T But the SIGN tho, like a goddamn toys r us.... I crying!
looked like it was from a dollar store..hilarious
A children's hospital near me had a going out of business sale. I got two children for 30% off.
The cars of that gang were literally cars from the first Fast & Furious movie.
Lmao I saw that too thought they looked familiar
For a few seconds I thought he was splicing in FnF footage for comedy... nope it's the actual movie
Only the Jetta was from the first movie. The RX7 & Supra were from 2 fast 2 furious
@@xsingxhaix Even the RX7 is from the first film, that was Dom's car.
@@enditakamweneshe6428 not the same one. Look at the wheels and decals.
"They have bigger problems cause the sun just went out" killed me.
Classic 😂
Space ice is a comedic genius 😂
“The Sun is for losers! I don’t need it!” Steven Seagal.
I didn’t get that one.
@@whothennow24 The explosion shot was at night.
Him saying "take the money and leave me alone" even though NO ONE has been chasing him just absolutely blew my mind.
I have never felt so confused 😂😂🤣🤣
The original fast and furious 1 crew made a cameo in them street racer cars...did anyone see
This movie was filled with so much bullshit I actually didn't even register that as odd. It's like the movie deteriorated my brain to such a level that I became numb to absolute insanity.
@dejuren I had this revelation after watching a number of these Seagal videos: Steven Seagal experiences these whack narratives in his dreams, and later on writes them into scripts for these "films".
Why else would this shit make no sense to anyone but Seagal himself?
@@chillinoutmaxin4630 nah he just comes up with a few different scenarios that he thinks would look cool on screen, then strings them together one after the other with no concern for plot
The children's hospital going out of buisness is like something you would see in a spoof movie.
Literally. I was laughing my ass off when I saw that scene
oh. these movies aren't?
Is that the real Steven Seagal? Oh dear
The whole movie is like a spoof movie but with no coherence. 😅
@@professor4202 his movies are syphilis
The fact that he asks some guy to leave him alone despite no one being after him is amazing
The dude was probably "Who is this crazy fat fck and how did he get in?"
""What the FCK, is GOING onnnnn"
LOL
Seagal taking a nap as the cops passes by is the most funniest, yet stupidest scene in this movie. That's one easy way to get to jail though.
@@davidjob4909 surely that can’t b true?
It was probably his double.
I think he was trying to impersonate a homeless person rather than a murder perp, but it didn't work. That might have been the most logical scene in the whole movie.
Nahh he fell asleep on set while cameras rolled and they all agreed it was best that way @@raylopez99
That wasn’t acting. Seagal fell asleep during the take. Walking is tiring.
“Seagal’s prison husband” That killed me😂😂😂
😂🤣me too!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 hahaha 🤣!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
😅😅😅😂😂😂
Imagine if you will, you’re an actor, a young actor, and you hear about this low budget prison movie, cheap action movie but you get cast and you’re excited then you hear it’s a Seagal movie. Imagine how crushing that must be because you realize it’s not going anywhere.
Even more so you're an extra for the scene where they show the children hospital going out of business. On your resume you have to put in that you were in that scene and everyone in the room is confused just how they should judge your acting as sad or hilarious or happy?
its called the honey pot :)
Seagal doesn't waste time on outdated movie tropes like a plot, he's somewhat a visionary
He's like a kid that starts a story with Santa Claus and tooth fairies and finishes with dinosaurs and zombies, but for some reason it all makes sense to him.
Seagal doesn’t need plot. The movie relies purely on his natural charisma.
he speaks 5 sentences in the whole movie😂😂😂
That DEA Agent..."You failed. Yeah, sometimes it happens." Had me rolling.
Seems like she was actually the most successful person in the movie. She managed to get a guy convicted on charges that weren't even her job to investigate.
@@t1p9d Evidently, that sometimes happens as well.
you hatin
What movie were you watching? She said "Yeah, it happens."
Why do people add in words that weren't ever used?
6:53 I would LITERALLY bet my channel Segal wrote that “walks like a black man” line 😂
The children’s hospital going out of business had me crying 🤣🤣
Hahaha!!!! Me too!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Oh, darn
Those kids aren't getting sick anymore
Just awful
Facts
Yea me too lolollollolol
@@iceonthesun8880 yep, everyone's cured. Time to call it quits.
Bruh Chloe Moretz being in this movie was the biggest plot twist ive ever experienced
for real?
And she doesn't even mention it 🤣🤣🤣
I’m thinking why big red from the five heartbeats had such a tiny role in the film lol
@@ralphwiggum1982 gotta love Big Red ❤️
@@ralphwiggum1982 He had to keep yo his business hours.
9-5
Seagal manages to lose everyone, hide the money, call his girlfriend, before taking a nap right in front of the police.. 🤣
The needless killing of the security guards, just so the script can cause the next scene to happen is just...wow.
Nah he killed all the security guards because he was in the zone and his bloodlust was in full control of him at that point. Nearly every movie has scenes where his bloodlust runs free
Edit: nevermind I thought it was seagull doing the killing of the guards. He did kill a lot of innocent people in the next scene though
Dude! You had me in stiches when u said ,
" they have bigger problems because the sun just went out" 😆 🤣 😂
The dumbest jokes are always my favorite
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅😅 i can’t stop laughing
@@SpaceIce i love your voice do more movies please i beg you do more movies
@@SpaceIce LOL ''SUDDENLY SEA GULL GOES FULL NINJA IN OTHER APARTMENT ''
I have some news - our sun is going to go out some day.
The good news is that probably won't happen for another billion years.
But no worries, Musk's great great great great great great great grandkid is going to come up with warp drive so our great great great great great great great grandkids can get their asses to another solar system with Earth-like planets that don't have civilizations advanced enough to wipe them out upon arrival!
How do you see a painting in a dream and decide to "get" it?
It would have made sense if she painted it from a dream, but someone else had painted what she saw in her dream...?
My brain hurts.
Could have been the basis for a Twilight Zone episode?
My guess is he saw one of the Walker Texas Ranger episodes that delve into quasi-Native American mysticism and got jealous.
I actually got second hand embarrassment when he meets the connection who says “Walks like a black man, breathes like a killa” I bet seagull thought he’d get major cool points for having someone say that to him. I bet he actually thinks each race has a default walk setting like it’s a video game 🤣 Imagine if he met an Asian person in his films, “walks like an Asian, breathes like a Panda”
LMFAO at the term "second hand embarrassment*. I've never heard that before, yet I 100% relate when he says that line. It felt awkward ASF. Kudos to the actor for delivering it without laughing. Lol
Killers always have asthma. Maybe.
No default walk for races, just difficulty settings
@@rashb3994 in Germany we have a word for that, being "fremdschämen" and I love it.
Lol at the fact that Steven Seagal probably thinks each race has a different walking animation
I love the fact Segal wore whatever he wants in the prison scenes. 😂
His flexibility on the set is astonishing.
Because Seagal ain't about that life :D
@@einantassteinas7038 (in Space Ice's voice) And wears whatever the fuck he wants!
Is it laziness ?
Is it so he can write off his clothing as business expenses ?
It's probably both.
Well it's HIS movie THEY'RE in, so if they didn't let him I guess he'd just kill them. 😂
I seriously howled when he said, “you two literally just got out of prison yesterday!” 😂
I knew it was gonna be good when the scene was prefaced by that nonchalant “The first bad guy he pulls out of his ass-” 😂
Damn, he throws people so hard that they turn into different people on the way
There's a Chuck Norris joke somewhere in there.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
Dude, that really happened!
"like it's a fking toys-r-us" I lost it. Your videos have me in tears 🤣
I just lost it there too 🤣
yup that’s where I couldn’t hold it back. holy fuck…
Belter
Tell me about! I’m still crying🤣
That gang shoot out where everyone is racist and has an all out fire fight for no reason plays out just like a South Park episode 😂😂
"But, since he and the guard look identical, he steals his uniform..." had me laughing for 10 mins Lmao
Man I died laughing....
and then they stopped by the prison-taylor to make it into a long-sleeve shirt.
😄
The one thing never explained anywhere in the movie is how they set up that escape plan or even how they were contacted. I mean they had everyone involved... and I mean EVERYONE in the prison involved somehow where they masked the escape with a fake food fight, then somehow bought this helicopter that was paid off and the pilot paid off.
I'm genuinely shocked that the closing for business children's hospital shot paid off in the end, because that's a level of coherence unheard of for Seagal. Which says everything about how coherent his movies are.
Early 2000's Seagal. With black dyed cotton candy for hair, long before his current yellow sunglasses, backwards cap , military phase
Can you imagine taking your kid to a children's hospital that has a " Going out of business" sign slapped over their main sign?
They must be having a sale.
@@trontosaurusrex9532 Everything must go!
"he's a cool mofo".. "No he's not"... Hahaha, love it.
Walks like a black man breathes like a killer 👀
The “going out of business” sign gets me every time 😂
Seagal climbing a fire escape ladder like that is so funny. He can't even get out of a bathtub by himself.
Or even an office chair. Which is technically should to be easier than a bathtub.
@Jimbo Bimbo Yea, lol. Thats why I said office chair. What a joke of a human being. Sad that he has probably screwed a lot of people over in his life. Is this part of his karma? Being a Hollywood laughingstock?
@@lukeuseforce Guy seems like he would have zero problem screwing people over and have no qualms at all cause as far as he’s concerned he is superior .Demi gods don’t keep promises to peasants
@@lukeuseforce Kinda guy who’s opening line would b
You know you’ve just became the luckiest girl in the room
@@darrenstopper1806 Oh yeah, Steven is such a POS. Definitely a narcissistic womanizer
My favorite Space Ice commentaries during the review; "I don't know who this guy is..." and my other favorite: " The movie never explains..." Honorable mention: "I stopped caring a long time ago."
Also, "for no reason what so ever,"
I love whenever Space goes “F*ck you!” Or just swears when you’re not expecting it 😂
“But, WHATEVER”
I also love his "Anyways ..", spoken in that snotty voice.
"I have NO idea why....."
According to IMDB: Seagal disliked Miano because his passes on actress Mari Morrow were turned down, and she was going out with Miano. Seagal did break Miano's arm - the shot were the arm is broken and Miano's yelling in pain, were real. 🙄
Yeah unfortunately Seagal is so full of himself that sometimes behind the scenes he harms some of the stunt team in the movie Exit Wounds he sent a guy to the ER for stitches according to Michael Jai White.
He assaulted a literal elderly man. He was 75yo when he did that. Disgusting. And yeah he’s famous for hitting people with no power as hard as he can.
@@bouncerthomas7503He wouldn’t try that on Michael Jai White. lol. That guy is a monster.
Love how he tries to stuff mystical stuff into his movies, even though it never makes any sense
“Dreams r symbolic”was brilliant.like the way he said it he musta thought. that that line was so deep and meaningful yet cryptic and endearing .Id bet money that line was all segal.And woulda fought hard to get it in the film and thinks it’s the best line In the entire film
@@darrenstopper1806 I'm sure it really is a proud achievement for Segal, like was the Oscar community sleeping that year or what lmao.
This is the last Seagal movie I purchased on DVD. It was 2005 and at Walmart. I remember watching it that night and feeling physically sick afterwards.
Lmfao 🤣
YOU FUCKIN PURCHASED ONE OF THESE MOVIES LMFAO IM DEAD HOLY SHIT DEAD.......WAIT AND YOU SAID THE LAST ONE LMFAO SO YOU PURCHASED OTHERS LMFAO DEAD DEAD DEAD
Wtf
How did you not get embarrassed as fuck buying this in person?
That is like buying teletubbies dvd, to remind ourselves how f*cktop we were
“Even though he’s on the ground floor, somehow manages to throw him out of the window on the 5th floor”
I CANT BREATE 😂
"...and it's clearly a completely different person!"
There’s no way that scene was really in the movie. I refuse to believe it.
That's almost on a Chunk Norris joke level of stupid.
12:34
Sensai Seagull causes reality to malfunction.
You know, the worst thing about this whole movie is that Chloë Grace Moretz, a pretty decent actress, now has to have _Today You Die_ on her acting credits list on IMDb forever. The thought of that legitimately makes me sad, and I feel genuinely sorry for Chloë Grace Moretz.
Hey, everyone starts somewhere. If anything, it just proves that she had the talent to advance.
She was blackmailed.
She'll probably hire a team of hackers to erase all mention of it from the internet. So, make sure you have this video backed up somewhere :)
What about Randy Couture? All those actors playing in a Steven Seagal movie are destroying their career
@@prolabkdeze1514 It was his first role. After that, he appeared in The Expendables.
While most of humanity is struggling to make ends meet. Seagull is making a real dough by being a horrible human being .show this man some respect
Lmaooooooo
I think you meant he's made OF dough
I refuse to give this waste of a mother’s love any respect let alone the time of day.
An honest asshole, who's proud of being a world-class douchebag. That's rare these days.
Maybe not respect. I'll give him, a cookie.
LOL! That "Going out of business" sign on the hospital has bothered me for years!
I'm actually a fan of Segal movies, I think about almost all of the things you call out, but I still enjoy his movies. I think you are a fan too, at heart.
now that's a campfire topic in itself. In a certain way...we are all Steff's fans.
Of course we are all steffans, but Jesus at least try to get the right agencies trying to investigate people
"The movie then devolves into complete absurdity." The words Steven Seagal begins every screenplay with.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I doubt Seagal even knows the definition of "absurdity" , or "devolvs"... or "movie" 😄
"Going out of business sign like a F****** Toys R is" OMG I just broke out LOL Truth!!
Same. 🤣🤣🤣
Thank you for making these Space Ice! These videos have more effort and heart put into them than all of Steven movies combined. If I am ever feeling off or having a bad go with life these are always a ticket into a better head space.
Please never stop making these. You shouldn’t have a problem since they’re are an infinite amount. Best thing I’ve seen in a while
I am starting to think that his movies are just for laundering money. No way it can be that stupid
@@prolabkdeze1514I didn't know there were so many.........
I like how when she wakes up from her dream he’s just sitting there with a stupid smirk on his face like he’s just waiting for her to wake up.
lmfao
He's thinking she doesn't realise what happened no puffy juice
4:03 that’s Seagal’s body double in the security outfit lol
Yup, the same stand-in he killed off in Shadow Man, a year later.
Respect to this man for sitting through the entire movie so we can have a laugh.
Wtf does Seagull say at 07:12??
I couldn't do it, space ice is a true hero
Are you talking about Space Ice or Seagal ? 😄
The children's hospital going-out-of-business was just too much for me 🤣🤣🤣🤣
The «sends in his body double» joke never gets old
“They visit the tailor “
Dude you pointing out the ridiculously lack of continuity has me rolling.
All his movies are the same nonsense put together in different ways
The sign on the hospital that says “going out of business “ had me rolling like it’s some grocery store
This movie is so all over the place. Heist movie -> prison movie -> buddy movie -> revenge movie. 4 different movies and they're all garbage
Same thing with Mercenary for Justice.
At this point, Segal has to be fcking with us. There's no way he doesn't see how ridiculous these movies are
Average american watch them, no problem.
He’s making money, dude. I would gladly make an ass out of myself for millions of dollars lol.
He's actually being made to make these movies by the mafia as a money laundering scheme but he does get paid. Not sure if its a lot but a long time ago he was actually called for a sit down with some head honchos of the mafia because of something he had said or done and apparently he actually started crying because they threatened him and he went to the police for protection. He thought he was a hardened gangster after his first one or two movies but the mafia courteously set him straight
@@DH-xh3pg maybe once, but not constantly
and how the fuck are these movies making money anyway
Seagals ego is bigger than any talent he possesses. Can't take a guy who shit his pants seriously.
I love how his stunt double is also an obvious extra lol 4:02
Nice catch lol
Seagal shooting at himself.😅
We are all blessed to live in a time where Steven Seagal existed to provide comedic relief. 😂
It took Segal and his gifts as a writer, director and action hero for us to re-evaluate the talents of Neil Breen and Uwe Boll.
Best movie ever steven seagal & neil breen written by uwe bohl all 3 directing/producing
I almost died laughing when he threw that dude out the fifth floor window from the ground level 🤣😂🤣 and the way space ice explained it really did it.
me too 😂😂😂😂 hahaha, brilliant!
I saw this.... this has me in tears😂😂😂😂😂
I can't believe Sensei Sausage Fingers used the exact same cars from the first Fast and Furious movie. Talk about going green and recycling old props. What a visionary our dear Sensei really is
Stumbling onto this channel is truly a blessing. I would like to thank Steven for making so many awful movies
I was surprised to see Seagal get arrested in this movie. His ego is so inflated at this point he is never in a position to be subjugated anymore.
I feel that he actually just wanted to take a nap so they just wrote a scene around it.
The amount of mental torture and trauma spaceice must be going through in order to narrate this video is mind-boggling... Huge respect
This channel is a treasure. I literally watched his whole filmography and I enjoyed every moment of it, thanks to your narration.
I love these seagal reviews
Seagal is the king of Comedy!
This guy's reviews are hilarious they are just as good as Pitch Meetings but different and just about Seagal
Why even shoot at an armored truck?
IT'S A F**KING _ARMORED_ TRUCK!!!
😂😂😂
In Seagal's movies, people die for no reason, and the movie as a whole is nonsense
'die for no reason ' sounds like his next dvd movie lol.. 😂..🤷🏻♂️
Steven seagal must be the luckiest guy on the planet literally almost everyone that holds a gun to him is super close so he's able to do his cool flappy arm moves to reverse the gun back onto his enemies
🤣🤣🤣
We dont see it on the movie but he is actually always teleporting in front of the ennemi with the perfect angle just for the sole purpose of intemidating them
Seagal is the master of “and then” writing.
Seagal’s ponytail/mullet is probably the biggest crime in history
Lol 😂 it’s terrible
Dear Space Ice, may our thoughts and prayers help you through those difficult times caused by Seagal’s enduring masterpieces.
8:42 - You cannot tell me no one picked up on this. These 3 cars are from the Fast and Furious franchise. Not similar, not inspired by...these are the exact same cars used in the franchise. The RX-7 and Supra are from the opening street race at the start of 2 Fast 2 Furious, and the Jetta is Jesse's from the first movie. Maybe I'm being pedantic but to have 3 cars from the same franchise feature together in another movie, Seagal never gave it any thought, probably just said, "get those cars", so his brain didn't have to work overtime trying to be a bit more original.
Well at least he has good taste in cars-Even those appropriated from other unrelated movies! 😂😂😂
I applaud you sir for reviewing every bad Seagal movies so that we don't have to sit through it. It must have taken a toll on your mental health. And for that I thank you and salute you.
I love your awesome reviews of Seagal's films.
In my opinion, it would be interesting to compare them, from least good to worst, passing through the worst of the worst!
Bobla Cotty, do you really think Humanity could endure it?
Am not sure the TH-cam servers would survive such a barrage of content.😂😂😂😂😂
@@parsoniareigns hahahaha
Yeah, I give this guy so much credit for actually watching these crackle movies and putting in "real" work by breaking them down afterwards.
There's no way I could watch these movies without either a.) Fast-forwarding them to the end and assuming what went on. Or... b.) Becoming mindlessly catatonic and detached from reality.
So God bless you sir. You do God's work. Because not even the editors could suffer through this movie.
I have never watched a Steven Seagull movie, and now I never have to. I can’t with the short sleeves turning into long sleeves. The body doubles people being thrown out of different floors. 😂😂
Seagal loves his rapper buddy movies
It all started with “Exit Wounds”
“Are we alright?”
“Nah …. We AIGHT…”
Lmao
@@DH-xh3pg 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah he's a bit of a rappist himself
I swear I just saw these reviews for the first time today.. I haven’t laughed this much in a while 👍
Likewise. Like literally within the last day. And the children's hospital going out of business? They just don't do unintentional humor like that anymore. And they probably do, but I can't suffer through it.
I had to pause and take breaks because my side was hurting so much.
The hospital with a “going out of business” sign..... 100% that was put in as a troll to the audience no way nobody involved in the film didn’t notice or say anything about that 😂😂
That "Going Out Of Business" sign is so fucking brilliant
2:13 Usually we refer the saying “heavy lifting” to Seagal walking in Seagal movies
i love how they rented the exact car from fast and the furious for one scene lol
I was about to say the same thing… 😂😂
Lmfao i knew i wasnt tripping
Fast & Furious didn't exist when this pos came out
@@bunkelops yes it did dork lol this was over 2 years after the first one
@@bunkelops 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🙆🏻♂️
What I love about Seagal's movies is consistency. You can clearly see that he is always directly involved in the script, as you can clearly see that he is also the producer of all his straight-to-USB movies, alongside being the location scout, the casting agent, the script writer and dialogue supervisor, he is also a very talented actor who has always made his own stunts, with his strong point being the fight coordinator/choreographer (since, you know, he is a real life fighter). He would also be the director, editor and post-production genius if it wasn't for the fact that he is a fat lazy fuck who is ignorant about anything technical or about filmmaking in general, even though he's a mummy who's been around the industry for half a century. Nevertheless a simple lack of directorial and technical talent does not drag him down, as he always does direct the director on how to direct the movie and the actors on how to act and the editors on how to edit and the sound designer on how to sound design, that's why the continuity brilliance in most scenes. Ah, yes, he is also the costumographer, a talent clearly shown in every scene, complementing the talent for continuity.
Too bad when there's a sex scene missing, however those are usually in the background, amidst the main character's daily chores such as taking a bath or taking a shit or eating three times per day and doing laundry,. The strip clubs are just the subliminal messages to us, the public, to show us that he fucks.
Well Seagall is 70 years old, and even if these movies were from ten years ago, libido does decrease with age. I wonder how much of some of these Hollywood movies straight-to-USB are nothing but money laundering schemes? Not accusing Seagal of anything, but he has reported ties to shady Russians and it's well known shady Russians, including Putler and that Ukrainian mobster Semion Mogilevich are into money laundering.
That straight to USB movies deserve an award
What script? Lol!
@@harshaphukan5091 didn't you know? This was at first a draft for a novel that was then transformed into a movie script because Seagal did not want to risk getting caught in the net of having it be a bestseller on The New York Times for several weeks to then have to deal with fame and money, he is too modest for that, in fact he is so spiritual that he has gone beyond those earthly comodities so he decided to publish it in the form of a movie script. He did it for the people not for the money or the fame that would be inevitable with this gem. And when I say "people" I mean his people, you know, the Asians, the African-Americans and the Native-Americans from all of whom he has his roots.
Tldr
At this point, the fact Space Ice watches all of Seagal's movies is the only thing keeping Seagal's straight to DVD (Yes DVD because they can't afford to be on Blu-Ray or Streaming) movie career alive.
Makes sense, because it seems like this movie had a budget of the RRP of a single DVD 😂
"My job is to make Action movies, Not to make any sense"
- Steven seagal
"...since he and the guard look identical..."
Golden!😆👍
This guy's voiceover is Absolutely Hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Couldn't not laughing!
Love the sudden appearance of the Fast and Furious cars from the first and second movies at 8:40
Me too but wtf was that all about. Why whould they randomly throw those cars in there 😂
@@user-ph5xl3wv8z Apparently the high speed chase in Las Vegas was actually footage from the 1998 movie Top of the World so I suppose it makes more sense at being randomly included.
4:01 Seagal wearing his everyday outfit while his body double acted as security while wearing security uniform and shoot him was freaking meta.
He even killed his own body double in Shadow Man, also.
Steven Seagal is a 7th degree master of Kukido. Kukido is a martial art that enables you to fight an opponent, while discreetly checking his pockets for cookie dough. KUKIDO!
Bruh 🤣🤣🤣
But a 10th Degree Master of Bulshido.
He's a big fat Dojoke!
And a 10th degree in Chow Down Fatt.
all his movies are so bad i dont see how he gets to keep making them
Russian money laundering scheme. He's got deep ties with Russia.
Money laundering schemes
He makes his movies overseas lol he’s still a box
Office draw in Asia
He's the producer lol
Money laundering scheme.
This whole movie should have been called ‘But…Whatever!’
How does Steven Seagal get away with all this?! How?? 😂 at this point, he’s just a supervillain
If he'd transitioned into being a villain 20 years ago and just done what he was told by directors and not been anywhere near script writing he might still be in half decent films. Oh and stop abusing women obvs.
@@jdogg448 Come on man, be realistic. He's Steven Seagal, he _has_ to abuse women.
he used the 89's-90's scene to his* advantage , he milked all the trends he could .
@@eglantinepapeau1582 There was only one trend and it was action films lol he's still on the trend in eastern europe, with no budget and is old/doesn't care.
I cannot believe Chloe Grace-Moretz was in a DTV Seagal film! 😂
She was young and needed the money.
How do these movies get funded to be made like he's made a hundred of these movies and their all total flops so how does he get these movies funded?!
Criminals
love the totally irrelevant gang war out of nowhere
And a race war too! How PC-incorrect.
HE'S SO GOOD. STEVEN SEAGAL. THAT'S BADASS MORON!! YEHH FIGHT WITH NO WEAPONS AND WINS WITHOUT GETTING A SINGLE HIT.
NOT YOU SARAH THE TALKER ON THIS VIDEOS.😃
NO I DON'T SEE HOW AND DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY STEVEN SEAGAL IS BAD. HE'S GOOD. WINS A BATTLE IN COLD BLOOD JUST BY HANDS IN 5 MINUTES DOESNT MATTER. HE KILLS. THAT'S A COMBAT. WHAT??? HMMMM. IT DOESN'T SUCK. NO I'M SAYING THAT'S WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY. BUT STEVEN SEAGAL KILL THE FUCKIN SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE. IN NO TIME WHAT'S SO EVER WITH NO PROBLEM. ISN'T IT? SO WHAT'S WRONG? HMMMM??
THEN WATCH BARBIE DOLLS FOR THEM MEN. STEVEN SEAGAL IS A FUCKIN SUPER KILLER WITH HIS HANDS TOO GORY AND SHIT HE WINS WITHOUT AN ISSUE. SURE LIES CAUSE THEM ASSESS LIKE THIS GUY TALKS CRAPP ABOUT. I DON'T CARE NO NOTHING BAD WITH STEVEN SEAGAL. I UNDERSTAND WHAT???? HE'S A FUCKIN SON OF BITCH KILLER IN MARTIAL ARTS . VERY BADASS. I'M TELLING YOU. WHAT????? HMMMMM????
This was his “I want to be hood” phase and it was glorious. Endless content.