Why AUTISM Communication Issues Create ANGER Problems (MUST WATCH)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2024
- This is why autism and communication creates anger issues. Understanding how anger and communication work.
People on the autism spectrum have issues with communication, it’s no secret to know that autism route is caused by communication.
Communication is not just speaking it’s actually a whole host of different things like hand gestures social conventions written communication the list goes on.
But if you’re not able to use those communication tools or understand the communicative principles typically then this is going to cause irritation and they rotation will lead to anger.
Autism is at its core a communication issue, and to help this we must understand how to better use alternative communication tools for autism.
You can get an autism communication device that can help with no verbal autism. But this will still present some autism communication difficulties.
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Tags:
#Aspergers #ASD #Autism
Wow we are pushing the likes on this. How many can we get!? 💚
The Aspie World I can’t control my anger ,and sometimes people make it worse because if I’m Having a meltdown and start hurting myself or others .most of the adults that work with me have to restrained although I know they are trying to help me and keep everyone safe it doesn’t make it feel any better.
Yes... Give some communication hacks. :D
Dan, thank you for sharing about your experience with anger and aspergers. The anger affects the whole family unit and it is something I have been working on with my aspie son on a daily basis. Becoming more aware is key to managing the outbursts, stopping and taking deep breaths has been very helpful when you can see the frustration coming on. Also, have you heard of EFT tapping solution? Alex Ortner teaches it and it is very helpful for calming down the anger outbursts. Keep doing what you're doing to let others know they are not alone in this aspie journey...you are a bright light...many blessings to you
Quite recently my anger turns into panic attacks and now I know it's probably because of my Asperger's 😐
Hi from South Africa
I told my wife that my anger stems from frustration, but I think a person can’t understand it unless they experience it.
Yes it is difficult!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Wow I told my wife the same thing 2 days ago. Props to them for being understanding
Please try understand wife’s feelings and frustration too.
My anger comes from frustration of not being able to kill people I really wanna kill , it's like I wanna kill them but don't want to go the jail , headaches and migraine due to this
Check out the PET (parent effectiveness training) program. It’s a communication course for parents (my mom is one of the facilitators, she is play therapist and something else with a complicated title lol) but it has a ton of communication tips and understanding of emotions and especially anger
Anger management is one of my downfalls, I have Austim and adhd. It does not take alot for me to begin feeling angry but to control that anger is monumental task. I feel anger atleast once a day
It's the same with me.. it's very easy to get angry and always have fights with people, making staying in a job very hard and talking with people harder day after day.
Hi I had anger management issues until I realised that people are too busy thinking about themselves. And might not be thinking about other people's feelings. And a lot of people are too interested in themselves and just say and do what suits them. And just puts their feelings first.
@@fbtmm300some coworkers see my autistic traits (lack of eye contact, speaking in a low monotone, etc.) as weakness and feel comfortable bullying me. This triggers hostility and rage which then makes them fear me. It's generally not healthy, but it does get people to leave me alone.
Me too :(
It’s just IMPOSSIBLE to communicate the way I feel the least exhausted. If I’m sarcastic when I’m annoyed, everyone suddenly hates me. If I just don’t reply right away, they assume I’m STUPID and don’t understand a single thing
There is NO pleasing annoying allistic awful people, it should NOT be MY responsibility to not snap at any minute because the teachers trained to be accommodating ARENT ACCOMMODATING IN THE SLIGHTEST
I've been yelled at for hitting myself in the head because it was "childish" and I needed to "grow up" by almost everyone in my family and my life 😢
Same I'm trying to do better so can regulate my emotions better going to therapy helps me. If you need a good therapist I know people that could help if you'd need it also if you ever need someone to vent to I'll always be there for people including friends just ask.
I hit myself when im all alone and sell it like a pro wrestler 😅😂
When I got extremely mad, I used to punch my own head as hard as possible and even try and give myself a nose bleed. My aunt who doesn't think I have autism, thought I was faking it and was even telling me to keep going because she thought it was funny, even though it was CLEAR I wasn't faking
@@VOiDED50120 I'm on the spectrum but I can't be around people that hit themselves. If you hurt yourself I don't want to see it.
Understandable
The hitting self thing has been a huge thing in my life, especially when I was younger...
I almost bashed my fucking brains in multiple times.
I used to bite my hand and growl when I was younger
Yeah. If I did something wrong I would beat the shit out of myself. As a youth I would bite my friends when I was excited about an activity. I’ve learned that these are not socially acceptable behaviors
@@2okaycola I used to attack and bite the other kids when getting teased
i hate getting angry so quickly. I think past of the problem with communication is that from the beginning of any conversation I already am thinking that I am going to be misunderstood because I'm ND so when I do communicate and I am not understood or taken seriously then it frustrates me because I feel like I am not effectively communicating and then I have to put things another way and it is just the added element of thinking about how to talk makes things that much worse ontop of the issue I am adressing. I am not patient the older I get also and I hate it. I want to be a tranquil patience and kind person.
I hate it too!!. My anger almost created Legal Problems for me that I definitely do not need!!
god yeah I feel that!! I try so hard not to be on the defensive when it comes to talking to people at work but if I've found myself frustrated already that day I go into every subsequent interaction with my back up expecting to be misunderstood which doesn't help. I am able to not be rude or anything and am seemingly friendly enough but as soon as I feel I've had to repeat myself or someone's not listening I sound so short with people and so sharp and I'm never bad enough to get in trouble or be rude but I can tell people get a bit of whiplash with me because I'm trying super hard to sound accommodating and be understanding and then im cutting them off to repeat myself because they've got the wrong end of the stick on what I've said, but as soon as they get it I'm back to being less short and sharp with them so I must seem very hot and cold without meaning to
I get ya! I practice empathy and patience daily, and I feel much better now.@@hayleyquinnx94
Just explain to your co workers exactly that. You’ll be surprised at how understanding they will be.
I get road rage very quickly
Yes to anger management and communication!
Whoooop Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Thank you for bringing up anger issues, autism and communication!! I recently had a meltdown at work where I was sobbing furiously and near hyperventilating because a colleague had not only stopped my work process but wanted me to revert back to the original. When trying to explain why I burst out, it comes across as so petty and people look at me all confused, thinking "God she cries over everything". I couldn't put into words how encompassing the frustration and helplessness was. Coupled with the fact of all the comments I get like "you need to get better at social cues", "This is nothing. You need to calm down" or "you have to accommodate to others and their workstyles", all of this compounds and twists itself until there's nowhere to go but out. It's so hard to explain the frustration and anger to someone who intrinsically doesn't understand the sheer intensity that we feel those emotions
Rageeeee
I’d love to see a video on communication and tips/hacks to help with that would be amazing thank you
Yay!! Thank you!! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).
The Aspie World no thank you, your channel has helped me so much and I’ve been subscribed for months with notifications on :)
I agree!!
I would also like to see this video becaise I need help to communicate with people
My last problem was letting what everyone thought bother me on a difficult decision. Everyone was telling me that if I made one choice it was wrong and another was right. I tried to talk about how I felt but since I wasn't very expressive they took what I was saying very lightly until I got mad and bursted into tears and then all that I was thinking and going through came out. They finally understood just how much I was suffering in the situation that I was going through and finally started respecting how I felt instead of trying to convince me of what they thought was best. Once I say how I feel I feel better but it can be difficult for me to say because I'm very sensitive to how the person will react. It can take minutes, hours or days before I am able to express myself. .
Is it okay if you are able to elaborate? What would you want them to do instead?
By this I mean what would you want them to do instead of telling you what another choice would be.
I'm not saying this in a disrespectful way I'm just trying to learn.
Thank you!
I am 63 and was diagnosed with autism just yesterday and the anger outburst that I have had through out my lifetime are the only thing that make me feel that I do have autism . I am praying that by reaching out to others I will see some light at the end of the tunnel and on the other hand I am praising God because with God I have made it this far. I also have a 14 year old that has autism , just diagnosed 3 months ago .We have had a very ruff time . Dr. after Dr. meds we have taken time spent searching for help and suffering days , week s , months , years feeling like hey it would be fair if we could get time back and undo all the harm all the harm all the useless crap we have gone through. Yea better end it here just would like thro something right now .
God bless you , and thank you for sharing I remember years ago trying to explain how I felt . Well seems like you already know how deaf ears can’t hear you
Sometimes years 😢 more power to you 🎉🎉
I'd love an anger management/communication video. My 10 yr old gets so aggressive with others at times. I cant explain how the info you give has helped me. Thank you
Same!!
I still struggle with this at the 17/going on 18 it’s of it take time
i still struggle with this and I turn 25 this year. For reference im female
Hi from Jakarta, Indonesia! I'm a 52 year old female and all my life I've always wondered why I feel invisible and feel uncomfortable looking someone in the eye. I can't make friends or keep friends, and can't stand small talk but can talk passionately about deep stuff for hours without realising I'm monopolising the conversation and surprised when someone gets upset at me. Because of dysfunctional communication patterns and also my anger issues, my marriage of 18 years finally fell apart. I've always believed it was my fault because I'm just a not a good enough person. Don't know if I'm on the spectrum but finally it's good to know that not everything is always my fault, sometimes we were just wired that way, on the spectrum or not. However I do feel lucky I have a very loving 25 year old son who lives with me and is very kind and patient with me. Your videos are very helpful and I'm starting to learn to stop beating my self up, thank you!
Exactly. I have a very hard time looking at my attractive female coworker in the eye 👁 and instead I completely ignore her and other attractive women
Maybe you should make a podcast to share your special interests w us. Everyone likes small talk so learn how to do it otherwise you won’t ever have friends. I believe in you! I’m already your friend so you have +1
@@2okaycola ❤
Wow so I found out about my autism at 36 and my anger meltdowns I was told it was borderline personality since I was 16, and my world has changed, ive now realize I have been experiencing meltdowns and treated medically totally wrong. I am filled with shame about my anger problems and as a women I feel I get really bad attention and I found that you have endless videos about coping with autism so thankyou so much, please don't stop, because I think you are helping alot of people!
I completely relate. The things that you described here are what I went through too.
I completely relate because of my anger issues and my autism
I lost my temper last night over a communication issue, I felt wife wasn't understanding what I was trying to say, it got real bad, and I'm trying to learn how to recover and deal with the issues I feel when I'm feeling unheard, or misunderstood.
When I don't understand what my ND is trying to tell me he yells at me. It hurts my feeling because I want to understand and help but feel sad or cry
Something I commonly see is the double empathy problem. The neurotypical person doesn’t understand the neurodiverse/autistic person and vice versa, so they both just keep arguing their perspective. The only way to break the cycle is for both people to articulate the other’s person’s perspective (feelings & needs) until the other person says, “yes, you got it” or “yes, pretty close.” Often I will see autistic folks trying to “make the other person wrong” by arguing and arguing their own perspective and not understanding why the neurolotypical person doesn’t want to hear it. (Because it’s hurtful to have someone trying to make you wrong and keep arguing their perspective in place of validating the other person’s needs & feelings).
Yes! Please make more videos to help us with communication strategies. Specifically how to keep an even temper when talking about something I'm passionate about.
Almost everything I want to share with people gets shut down and cut short because they think I'm too aggressive. Then as they start to indirectly shut down the conversation, I get more upset because I can tell I'm losing them somehow because their "subtle" reactions aren't making sense, then they start getting visibly upset with me because I didn't understand the subtle cues. By the time I realize and start correcting, it's too late, and they just see me as a conversational bully.
I'm a late diagnosed autistic with ADHD listening to you from Costa Rica and greatly appreciate your information
Mom of an 16yr autism/aspergers daughter. I’d like to see videos to give support to her when she stressed about her future adult life and how to fit in
Amazing well I am glad to have to have you here!! Thank you so much for the comment! You make find help from my membership couching www.levelupautism.net Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I'm from Houston TX! I want to thank you for all the information you give and how open & honest you are with your experiences. I believe my son is on the spectrum and everything you describe with anger and how he feels lines up with how he explains things or how he feels. I am searching for a doctor that can test him. I really just want to understand him more because he's 15 and knows he's different. He has tantrums and gets mad or really angry at things and in turn I Get upset. Example, yesterday a little girl was waving at me and my mother and being very friendly. We began to wave and say hi to her. She started calling my son "hi boy" and waving at him. He didn't want to wave at her. I simply said, "son, don't be mean. Wave hi to the little girl." He got so mad and began crying and yelling that he doesn't want to say hi. He says hes socially awkward and feels it's really cringy. He said I made him feel really bad for saying not to be mean and that it made him feel like he's s bad person for not wanting to say hi or look at the little girl. I apologized to him and said i would try to consider his feelings next time and didn't mean it that way. I really just want to help and understand my son. Thank you for your videos!
Dee At His Feet Hi! My 13 year old is on spectrum ( high functioning in regular school) my son was diagnosed very young when a teacher called me into school to tell me he wasn’t socializing with other children. For years I doubted the diagnosis( early childhood often masks autism) but as children age the symptoms can become more apparent and he was just diagnosed again. Best wishes to you and your son. You could possibly speak to teachers at his school to see if they notice anything or take him to counselor, or Dr. to be assessed.
Dee At His Feet it's not easy but I wouldn't call your son out as being mean, or rude etc. Before awkward situations arise, maybe explain calmly that his behaviour is likely to be misunderstood by others. Ask his opinion on what he thinks would be the best way to deal with society's expectations of him so he doesn't get angry and upset. Remind him you're on his side but you need his help to understand too. God Bless.
Don't forget it is ok to tell him casually that he is going to have to be brave more often than he wants and talk to people when he doesn't want to because that is part of societal expectations. Then talking about ways to acknowledge people in ways that show he is trying to be nice but doesn't want to engage and giving him a choice to see what he would be able to manage.
Communication tools and anger management please!
I’m actually working on an app to help with communication for autistic teens and adults. I am non vocal at times so I wrote a small program to help me at school and then decided to further develop and eventually launch it. I really hope I can launch by August
Hey, I’m really interested! What will it be called ( so I can find it more easily) ?
Excuse me, what will it be called! I'm autistic and think it will help! Good luck!
Neurodivergent assist. It is currently in review to be released for testing. It is so exciting
@@averybiscuitplays Neurodivergent assist
@@schweizermilchschokolade4281 Neurodivergent assist
Thanks for this ace video as usual, we really struggle with anger and rage with our 6 year old daughter and sick of people just thinking she’s being naughty .
Hey, newly diagnosed here in Texas. Diagnosed with ADHD as a kid. And then misdiagnosed with bipolar, OCD, and social phobia as an adult before finally recognizing autism (ADHD still going strong tho. That one was actually correct, lol).
Actually, the thing that helped me the most was going through my pickup phase in 2014-16. Literally 2 years non stop I went out and talked to girls because I mever had a girlfriend, and was constantly bullied in school for being this quiet kid. I still have it in group settings as I find it boring, but I got good at conveying what I thinl and pulling people into my world, one on one or 3 people max
I’m 35 and I’m trying to starting the process of getting diagnosed with autism. The biggest problems for me are communication and anger. I don’t understand why I’ve been like this all my life, it’s getting a real problem. Your videos are making me understand why I’m like this for. Big thank you
Same here, 33. it's hard to find a therapist at that age. Since it's a development issue they tend to focus on children, Cognitive therapy and medical marijuana have helped me wildly. cbd-cbg-cbdv-cbn
specifically. All federally legal.
Watching from New Zealand, have a 10year old on the spectrum and would love to see more on communication and anger management please
Oh Heyy!!! How are ya!? Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Watching intently from Essex! Thank you dan for making this video, I struggle a lot with anger with my diagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome because I can’t communicate properly , especially at the beginnings of my meltdowns and this causes my mum to get upset which I then feel guilty about :( my little brother also has aspergers and my mum knows about it a lot as she is a psychiatrist and is very helpful to me :) I try to take on your tips from your videos to try and make my life a bit easier and not upset my family. Thank u TAW
Hey Dan, I am Damien. I have autism, ADHD, and dyslexia. I am very happy you do your videos. Your diagnosis is almost identical to mine. I don't think I have OCD. I can't imagine adding another symptom to the madness. Anyway Dan, I love what you're doing with the channel, thank you for your time.
As a sufferer of Asperger’s, I must protest at the amount of waffle in this video and the lack of rapidly getting to the point 🙂
I’m watching from Truro in Cornwall, thank you for this video! I have sent it to family members to explain my anger more as they don’t understand why I get angry.
I am from Finland. I like to watch/listen autism-related videos to calm me down after a meltdown. Educational and relaxing.
Yes we want video on more details in what exactly triggers your anger. For example: what is it and how is it that your girlfriend says things that makes you unable to understand or sound to you as “ gibberish “? I have a friend with Asperger, and he gets angry with me out of blue (so to speak), so I would like to know little more about what it is that could trigger an autistic person or in which way should I communicate in order NOT to trigger an anger in him.
Thank you for mentioning that hitting yourself in the head during a meltdown is another autism trait. I have done that in the past during some really intense meltdowns, and I had no idea where it came from. At the time I didn't even know I'm autistic, so I just thought I was losing my mind. I hate it, too, so I'm glad it doesn't happen often, but now at least I know where it comes from.
I am talking from Monterrey, Nuevo León, México, I love your videos because I love to learn about autism, I already made the test online and turned out positive, but the doctors refused to test me, they said I can't have autism :(
Also a couple of months ago my daughter was diagnosed with Autism and this videos help my husband to understand us, Thank you very much for making such a great contribution to the society!!
I'm from Colorado, and I'm a young woman with Autism! I got diagnosed when I was six, and I never understood why I feel so mad and irritated sometimes. I pace around and rant, because I'm too scared to express it, because when Neurodivergent Girls get angry we are either met with condescension or confusion. Your videos have really helped me understand myself and find comfort in knowing that there are actually others like me out there. Thanks so much for making these, you're a hero for putting this kind of content out for people to understand Autism better. Best wishes and Happy Holidays!
How can the people around you help you when you are having a verbal rant? I have no idea what to do when this happens to my autistic SO and it’s hard not to take it personal or try to solve the problem.
Watching from New York, USA. Yes yes yes to the anger management/communication. My son, now an adult, has aspergers and you have helped me understand this so much more. Thank you!
Before I begin watching this I just gotta say, the caption has me blown away because I didn't know that was part of autism (very very honestly) but I always knew that my "anger issues" always spawned from something deeper. I'm not actually angry whenever I got into these "angry lashing out episodes" something deeper is going on. Whether it's sensory overload or something I've been stressing about in silence trying to itch its way out. I don't mean for it to come out in anger but almost all of my emotions do. Most of the time I don't realize why I'm angry until much later when I review it in my mind or with someone. Usually days, weeks, or months later. But the older I get, the more I pick up on it, unless it's a really big episode. But yeah, CRAZY. I'm so glad I found this video and thank you for making it! Will most likely comment some more as I watch it.
✌️
Rose Butterfly Same! I realised recently that my visible, frequent ‘anger’ is just intense frustration. Actual emotional anger is a different experience for me. I think also, like you said, it stems from a deeper place - I think for me it’s not being able to identify and communicate the feelings I might have around a situation or event and it building up to erupt in the only way I know gets some kind of reaction (not necessarily a good one). I want to know how to verbalise or communicate how I feel about things without getting to that ‘explosion’ point.
A communication tools video would be super helpful. It's challenging to communicate when a lot of people don't use accurate and precise language to describe something and they become aggravated because their statement cannot be inferred. Then become more angry when you ask them to many questions to try and get an accurate picture.
I relate to that even though I haven’t been diagnosed with autism. Have you been diagnosed with autism yourself?
Yes! Exactly!
I’ve been diagnosed with gilliam asburgers at a very young age, and I love your channel because I could be more mindful of my traits.
I just have to say thanks
I am watching from Athens, Greece and would love to learn about communication hacks!
I am impressed with your insight on this matter. I suffer bad from my communication skills. I have a real tough time expressing myself. I get frustrated and overwhelmed.
yes to more communication videos
Yay!! Thanks Mate!
I’m from Stockholm Sweden. You are helping me slowly accepting my autism diagnosis. I recently bout merchandise from you. To try to be positive, autism=awesome.
Watching from Oregon. Grandma to a 10 year old Asperger's. Love the info in your videos. Helps me to understand my grandson better.
I am dating someone on the spectrum, and he struggles to communicate, specifically when it comes to feelings. And I was amused watching this video - it almost seemed like you were stalling at the beginning and almost avoiding talking about communication and how it relates to emotions. For those just starting the video - he does get to it, more directly half way through
Watching from Australia, my 7 year old daughter has just been diagnosed with autism, your videos have been such a huge help to try and understand what she is going through.
Tasmania Australia 39 year old that’s just found out I’m an aspie, your channel has helped me heaps 👌🏻
I started figuring out how to say "the sound was too much" after I already left the situation or had an outburst and turned all of the stuff off or got angry. I don't know how to tell people what I need in the moment. I only know how to tell people what went wrong afterwards.
Hand gestures make me feel like they are angry for some reason. When my boyfriend is talking to me he gestures a lot and I flinch a lot and back away and stuff.
My husband always points out how i flinch and back up as if I'm scared he's going to hit me. I just need him to not suddenly invade my bubble space.
@@rorscach1 Agreed!
Especially when you run into those people who get a rush by trying to get a rise out of you. And when so many people don't think objectively. If someone does something awful to you, you will get those people who invalidate what you went through, and come up with excuses as to why someone did something to you.
Williamsburg, Michigan usa. :) Made my apt to start diagnosis process for next month. At 47, this ought to be interesting...
In my early thirties I struggled with self harm. I look back now and I understand much better that the self-hatred I was feeling at the time was because I needed to communicate issues I was dealing with but didn't have the language to do so. The struggle of just finding the words when you are already drowning in input from the outside world, its like walking in a hurricane every waking moment. Exhausting beyond words. These days I use the example of trying to tell a completely colorblind person what color an orange is, the sunrise, or the trees in autumn, worse what color wire to cut! If you don't have that background language, or the other person can't understand you it pushes the stress level up, resulting usually in a near lockup of speach or a loss of what was in my short term memory.
I am from Greenville, South Carolina! My daughter is almost 5 and has autism. She is non-verbal but speaks in terms of echolalia. We are in behavioral therapy now to help her, my husband and myself communicate better with her when she is angry. She was getting so frustrated she would hit her head, herself, or my husband and I. Things are definitely getting better with therapy. This video was so very informative. Thank you!
I just watched this video after hitting my head in frustration after the final nail in the coffin. Everyone expects me to think of their needs all the time but if I dont want to go a prayer meeting or something else because im not feeling up to it as i feel pressure building and I need my own space. I'm feeling really tired of this cycle no matter how much I explain its like talking to a concrete wall and it really tempting to think is this really worth it! Sorry for ranting. Sorry for the vent I just felt like overloading as video seemed very similar to how I was feeling tonight. Thanks for helping me feel less alienated.:)
I'm listening from United States/Georgia and have a 15 yr old son on the spectrum. Keep up the information, its a big help in understanding.
Thank you. I learned something. Bad communication leads to anger. So simple
Looking forward to seeing vids on management and communication hacks 😃🤘🏼
Whoop!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
It's interesting listening to this. Growing up I was an incredibly angry person. When I got in a better place and looked back at it, I realized that that anger was because I was feeling emotions I couldn't identify let alone communicate and that frustrated me and made me angry. When my anger got to a certain point when I was younger, I would lash out. Of course this was punished so I learned to point it inwards. I would grab and pull at my hair or even cut myself in an attempt to "get the anger out".
I still have issues with identifying my emotions but I'm getting better at communicating that I am with my family. I now tell the people closest to me that I have to think on what I'm feeling and will get back to them when I figure it out. My sister tries to help me identify what I'm feeling but it's hard because obviously she doesn't live in my head. I do appreciate the effort most days though
NTs' "alien language" -- *relatable.*
When people are talking and making weird jesters, I just guess that there angry for no reason.
I either think they're completely fine or really angry. No in-between.
@Jason Calcanis They also look like jesters
Jacksonville, Florida! Love your work, Dan.
100%.. please.. a communication hacks clip will be extremely useful. I am dealing with complex adults who become overwhelmed easily, resulting in outbursts sometimes physical. Totally agree, catch the issue at a heart level before reaching the brain, emotions are the source of boiling point. Suggestions please for implanting verbal suggestions to prevent outbursts would be so appreciated. Thanks so much for changing lives the way you do 👏👋👍😉
This is something that I need to work on. I hate being angry.
Thanks mate... you know they say ( and this is going to sound rather Yoda-esque... ) that "anger is a mask for fear" ... well that's what I took away from my anger management course... years later I'm only just discovering the possibility I might be on the spectrum... it's extreme frustration, uncontrollable emotional cascades descending into meltdowns... then you get the inexorable anxious calm... with the usual feelings regret & self-loathing left in it's wake...
Thank you for pointing out something that should have been obvious to me. I'm not able to understand people that give me neurotypical explanations because it isn't detailed enough for me to fill in the gaps. People think I'm getting angry with them when I ask for more details everyday because they find it irritating to explain it in better detail. There is just a GAP between our thinking patterns.
Lisa, from Alberta, Canada. Anything about anger is great content! We go through anger and feel exhausted, but still don't understand. I am an artist who messed up my hand, punching a wall, now I have to come up with a new style. Anger, as a topic to share with others, and lean more is imparitive. Thank you.
I am from Edmonton, Alberta but have been in Bogota, Colombia for the last 6 months. I have to return to Canada soon.
Iv’e been hitting myself for years, I always thought it was my bpd. But then I went to see my psychiatrist who then diagnosed me with Autism, adhd and bipolar. I have severe auditory processing issues, patterns and lights can really set me off. I’m only now realising through videos like yours that all my symptoms relate to what I’m watching. Thank you and keep up with the great work. 😊
My son is 14 and I'm fighting for diagnosis. He's broke both his hands on different occasions and yesterday we were at a&e again having xrays on his hand for breaks. Then last night he lost his temper and started punching the door again. He even slams his head into the door on occasion but mostly punches his own head in anger which I never associated to the condition. Thank you so much for making these videos as it keeps my determination going with the fight for diagnosis, just so he's understood instead of being labelled by school as 'a badn'. And hopefully that they learn how to help Caleb understand, instead of making promises & not following through then complain because he refuses to go to school because he says they're all liars, which I can understand his understanding but their view is he is refusing to follow rules or authority & just wants everything his own way. You give me ammunition for my fight and I'm so grateful 🙏
You have that “thing” that make people want to watch you! Great personality! I’m in the United States, specially Maryland. Thank you for your wonderful video
🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
I think I can agree with the title. I met a guy on the autism spectrum who made me angry. He's my cousin's boyfriend. I only met him once, when he made a joke I didn't care for. My cousin pulled me aside and told me that sometimes he says things he shouldn't, even if he doesn't mean to hurt anyone. Well, I don't care. I told her that if he has filter issues in general, I didn't want anything to do with him...at all. I don't have a problem with Autistic people, unless they have no filter.
I’m dating someone on the spectrum and he doesn’t understand how insulting and demeaning he can sound especially during social events like dinner. It felt embarrassing that his cousin had to pull someone aside to tell them he doesn’t mean it. I mean come on,.
@@allaboardthegravytrain5987 you have a similar story to mine?
Spot on, Dan! Only verbal "communication" directed at me does sometimes sound like a different language. The more frustrated & stressed I get, the more the speaker sounds like the teacher from Peanuts cartoons! I NEED visual tools to even get a tiny clue. ♥️ Your videos! You really help me & my family with our challenges🙏☮️
My ex wife has ASD. She was only diagnosed in her thirties. Frustration anger and subsequent depression are a major issue for her. She struggles to communicate with her GP and most others too. If you do a video on communication it would be intensely useful.
Our daughter very much fits this and we want to get her all the help and tools we can. Thank you brother! We'll be watching
Ive struggled with anger management my whole life. Just one more thing to my years long list of reasons i may he autistic
I'm watching from São Paulo, Brazil. I've recently discovered this year that I have autism and your channel, along with other ones, has helped me a lot understanding basically my entire life lmao thank you so much!
I'm female with aspergers I'm horrible with face to face & communication over the phone which seems to have got worse in many ways as I've age I'm 36. I need time to think & communication is much easier if i can write it, so texts & emails are much easier. When my grandpa had his first stroke he had problems he had never had to face like being in mid sentence & the thought just leaves. Well I'm well versed in this I told him what I do, ask the person what was i saying, spend a few seconds trying to bring it back if no luck move on & I find my brain randomly throws it back up in my head in less then 30 minutes. I'm used to this but for a man like him it really messed with him as well as opened his eyes to what I've tried to explain my whole life. His son (my dad) & my mom both have aspergers which for my dad wasn't to surprising as with many men who are ND he didn't mask well, lol. My mother is still trying to understand the whole picture but also knows I wouldn't bring it up unless I was sure I was onto something (her brother was textbook aspergers in hindsight unfortunately he passed before I was born). I'm in the USA where it seems much more difficult to get a diagnosis. The first time I visited my new neurologist she talked to me for less than 5 minutes then as we walked to the front I brought up aspergers. She looked at me like 'oh one of those dr google phd patient's' then said "there is no way your autistic". She didn't even think about it brushed it off without even a 'why would you think that?' Unfortunately autism is so misunderstood even by trained medical professionals. Even specially trained professionals who work with only ND people are horribly misinformed (it's really bad sadly). I live pretty much in the middle of the US trying to get help with a low income is absurd. These things can be so hard to deal with along with trying to do everyday life stuff. Anger can be so sneaky for me I can keep it under control for a while catch it before the tailspin, listen to music, breathing, my pets are HUGE therapy for me for all situations, I have a wide variety of pets 😉. When I do blow its surprising for the few who have really seen it because it's so out of my quirky at times oddly subversive personality. I find it interesting that while communication with people is so hard for me animals I can understand easily any species no problem.
Thank you for trying to educate & help people with & without what I like to think of as our more interesting minds & ways of thinking.
The specific video of anger management is much needed. Please do it.
When I'm hitting my head, I feel more like if I cause enough pain, it can distract from, or somewhat alleviate, the overwhelming pressure of whatever is causing my meltdown.
Gave this video a big thumbs up because I'd love to see anger management issues. I used to hit my head off walls but I've come a long way
I was diagnosed with mild autism, I do hit myself with "hard" punches towards my skull.
I get frustrated that I can't communicate with others, I don't like asking for help....
I feel weird. Etc.
Thanks for an insight of the thing called: *AUTISM*
I'm watching from strongsville ohio usa! Looking for an adult diagnosis so I'll be checking out your sight for sure! This video will help me and my s/o to understand me better!
Oh hey that’s amazing welcome to my channel!! Ahh this playlist will help you! th-cam.com/play/PLsnq_HpT7puSMrw4ZBMu21ImFvExNH6rv.html Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
brilatty l hey there I’m also watching from Ohio ( Marietta) I watch because he’s cool and also my son is on the spectrum. ✌️
today morning me and my whife had a bad arguing with shouting. She told to our son who is autistic (7 yo) that he should say the teacher that he learnt the tale from the book and want to tell it for a good note. My son told that the teacher sayed she will call the students out by their name so no need for asking. My whife continously told that he should say that he want to tell the tale to let the teacher know that he is diligent. My son started to stress out. Me (I am autistic too) who knew what is my son's problem: he didn't understood why he should say something that is inappropriate for the situation - I started to aknowledge my whife what is the problem. She missunderstood me - she tought I tell that our son doesn't need to say anything. But I tried to tell that she needs to explain our child when, and how he needs to tell. She countinously missunderstood me. My anger just grew inside me because of frustration. I was calm for a long time but at a point where my whife told: ok, you know better, so he doesn't need to tell the teacher that he want to answere, from now you do these kind of jobs with our son! (Yes she was ignorant and stubborn in this case.) I had a pretty bad meltdown because of frustration. I shouted that she don't understand me. I feel so bad that I shouted in front of my son. The whole scene now is just about me shouting in front of him. I don't know how to prevent these kind of misshappens... I just wanted to help - then the whole thing turned out as a disaster.
I'd love to see videos on communication hacks. Just found your channel and liking what I am seeing so far.
I have a friend on the spectrum, they have anger from they’re childhood. Parents can mess you up. You need to be able to understand and deal with this problem. He’s aware of this. I send him articles about these issues which do help.
I am a social worker intern working with a high school student. He is a senior and will be heading to college in the fall. He will answer questions if asked but has difficulty with reciprocal communication. He will go all day long without engaging in any form of communication. Honestly, speaking he does not display any interest in conversation preferring to be alone. I have been working with him to boost his confidence as he will need to effectively advocate for himself when he goes to college. He needs to be able to ask for more time with assignments and/or clarification on assignments but will attempt to figure it out even when he is struggling. He is friendly and hardworking, but I feel like I am struggling to make the connection with him and the importance of communication.
I live in France and I would loved it if you made a video about anger management. I get really angry because I'm going through a massive meltdown at the moment. I don't hit myself but I have so much anxiety and pent-up anger it drives me mental and being a very cool and friendly (also hypersensitive) person, it kills me when I get mad at people and when they don't get how hurtful some of their comments can be for me... Johnny Dollar is right: most people can’t understand it unless they experience it. It's sad really. But your videos can help change the world. Thank you so much.
Thank you for making me feel like a human again!
Communication hacks desperately needed here in Montana!! :'( if you've already posted a video, seeing as this was 8 months ago, I'll go find it here momentarily...
Thank you for being
I'm From Shreveport Louisiana watching with my autistic gf to get a better insight on how to communicate better thanks for the video!
Hey. I'm from Winston Salem, NC. Thank you for your videos. Sometimes I get really frustrated with my mom especially when she tries to denounce my Aspergers, and says I don't have it. Especially after I was diagnosed with it. I actually went to a Psychiatrist and Therapist and went through tests and she still won't believe me. It really frustrates me and angers me, and I instantly start hitting my hands together rather than my head because I'm trying not to hit my head. I'm just happy that you show these videos because it can be hard having Asperger's Syndrome especially when you're a female and you're black. If you can share as many tips as you can and just continue doing what you're doing. You're awesome.
I have a 14 year old stepson that was formally diagnosed with autism 2 years ago. I discovered this video today and I talked to him and asked questions from the video and a lot from the comments, and we had one of the best conversations we've ever had. Then today it went south. He has a 8 year old sister that weighs 55 pounds and he is 14 and weighs 240 pounds. He picked on her and she picked back then he punches her in the side of the head. For some reason he likes to take a lot of his anger out on her. This was no communication issue. it was straight anger in less than 5 seconds.
Watching this from the Netherlands. Trying to educate myself on this subject since my 6 yo son has recently been diagnosed with autism. He's also having "violent outbursts" from time to time and I'm trying to figure out how to help him were I can. Helps me a lot to read all the comments here and know there are so many people out there living there lives with autism. Love you all and hope the best for all of you 💚
Your herbs has work wonders in my family.
Thanks for the help Dr Oyalo for saving my son from autism spectrum with your herbs. Your herbs is the best. #droyalo
I'm a Canadian watching from Mexico and my American ND partner is in Thailand at the moment. I'm finding your vids very useful!
This is brilliant thank you.
So important to help people with high performing ASD live their best life.
Yes, communication tools for autism please. Should I tell people I'm autistic if I'm causing them to feel weird?
Not all autistic people have face blindness. I can read faces. But I have to admit two things. 1) It took me a long time and a lot of efforts to learn to decode facial expressions and I still may make mistakes. 2) Many times, there are too many other sensory inputs competing for my brain's processing time, so I have to make compromises and by default my brain compromises by giving most processing time to verbal language. So I may miss facial expressions because I can't process the amount of sensory information that comes in (which also includes things such as the temperature of the air, any air draft, the temperature of the chair I'm sitting on, the softness or hardness of the chair, the flickering of the fluorescent lightning, the noise and movement of a flag seen from the window, people walking behind the person I'm trying to discuss with, etc.
im from Richmond VA USA. love you vids. I have autism as well. I hate communicating most of the time. I find it so annoying and time consuming. I would rather be left alone. but, im getting better at talking to people.
My psychologist and I have come to the conclusion that I am autistic. The official diagnosis will be decided by a psychiatrist. This realization came just 6 days ago 2021/09/30. Until then nearly all my autistic traits have been unknowingly masked or attributed to my ADHD and childhood trauma from abuse. This video in particular accurately describes how I experience anger. Interestingly, it has made me a bit calmer and happier because I now see better ways of dealing with it. Thank you!
Your video is very helpful for me to understand my son Gabriel and sensory overload and anger issues. I subscribed. We live in New Jersey, USA. Thank you very much.
Hello Dan this video was a light globe moment for me, because perhaps for the first time it helped me to understand the mechanism behind Aspie anger. I will use this knowledge wisely. Thank you.
I didn’t understand the Aspi anger from this video. Could you please help me understand what is it that you understood in that regard, what did you get out of this video?
I have learned so much about communication and have practiced it so much, basically the only times I feel like hitting my head now is when I am communicating with someone I care about and they lash out and become aggressively angry and saying "please calm down I can't handle this" doesn't work. And then being told off because I'm crying as if I am doing it on purpose is the worst thing ever. Luckily I can walk away now and this behaviour is actually toxic, and I can have that boundary now so I can yeet these people out of my life
First time seeing your videos my daughter sent me this ..I'm in San Diego California. I'm autistic too. The first thing you speak is like me. Rapid fire. I like to say I have rocket fuel for brain fluid. Nice to meet you brother!!!