How HIGH EXPECTATIONS Can Cause DEPRESSION

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 70

  • @PaigePradkoTherapy
    @PaigePradkoTherapy  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Watch here for more help for Treating Depression th-cam.com/video/nZfL3wRd_0k/w-d-xo.html

  • @salto1994
    @salto1994 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Great video. I have ADHD and with mobbing in all my school life i always wanted to show others that i'm not dumb and that i can do stuff. I got a BA in IT and looking to do a MA. However with me having such high expectations on myself i started to also "require" high expectations from others. I'm easily getting annoyed when people don't follow through on what they say they'll do while i always try to do it. hopefully by reducing the expectations on myself that'll help also not getting so annoyed if the expectations i have on others aren't met. hope that makes sense

  • @jessjulian4502
    @jessjulian4502 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I liked this video a lot. The double standard technique where you talk to yourself like you would a friend always gives me clarity on something I’m struggling with. Thank you for sharing!

  • @vinodsingh-gr1xj
    @vinodsingh-gr1xj 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yes high expectations makes disappointment.

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes. This is surprising to many over achievers and people that strive for perfection.

    • @rockchick128
      @rockchick128 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      High expectations are toxic

  • @drumgrandpa
    @drumgrandpa 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    No darkness lasts forever. And even there, there are stars. Ursula K. Le Guin (The Farthest Shore)

  • @FutoXar
    @FutoXar 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Higth expection of other around us is also toxicity we need to be aware of

  • @octilock8861
    @octilock8861 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I find your videos extremely helpful you have a such a great way of explaining things it comes across with great compassion and sincerity. Thanks for helping all us that struggle with mental health issues. If you could do a video on Heath anxiety specifically around breathing/ hyper ventilation syndrome would be good.

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am putting this topic on my list. I have been receiving a lot of questions and even clients with this issue. Thank you for your kind comments.

  • @patriciaanndemello4652
    @patriciaanndemello4652 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The background music as you spoke was great. It added depth to your words. I think there is a conflict when the fantasy self meets the reality self. I think we not only have expectations for our self but we have a script and attempt to direct others according to our fantasy selves. And when the real self steps in it's a disappointment. In my narrative I choreograph A and you respond B and that fortifies my fantasy self. But reality doesn't always work like that.

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I always love your perspective, Patricia. Thank you for sharing.

  • @shyaaammeneen63
    @shyaaammeneen63 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Very nice video. For mind issues be careful what you feed your mind. To feel better reduce negative thoughts. Avoid comparing with others, reduce negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed, avoid moving too much and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Observe your breath sensations before sleep, when reading, in the kitchen, when taking a walk etc -----anytime-anywhere. Like me, make this a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.

  • @wellingtonsboots4074
    @wellingtonsboots4074 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Just humans going through life doing our best. Must remember to tell myself that. Thank you. I don't know if i set myself high expectations, but for sure i think that imposter syndrome kicks in and i think that others are reaching their goals, say at work, and I can't measure up and am going to get found out.

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes, good Ol’ imposter syndrome. I think that one is universal in all of us!

  • @terrancemcclendon456
    @terrancemcclendon456 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yes !! It is stressful trying to meet people big expectations

  • @jessaperlada1673
    @jessaperlada1673 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Im literally in this stage. Watching this video makes me cry so much. The thought of letting go of my standards hurts a lot.

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi Jesse. You don’t have to exactly let go of your standards…just add a bit more flexibility and self compassion. ❤️

  • @philly111
    @philly111 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this video, much appreciated!

  • @jdixon452
    @jdixon452 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great video! I agree writing things down and seeing them visually helps! I also like the double standard technique, I'm definitely going to give that one a shot!

  • @Leelagawas
    @Leelagawas หลายเดือนก่อน

    Ma'am yes I agree but it's difficult to leave the dream

  • @charujain581
    @charujain581 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Beautiful

  • @gyanpsychologicalcare
    @gyanpsychologicalcare 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great video . Your way of explanation is amazing . I am watching your videos from last few months which are very informative.

  • @iamgregorydillon
    @iamgregorydillon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Since I was 17 I have aspire to be successful pop singer but it’s always come with a depression from such a high expectation. I really appreciate your video as it’s on days where I feel overwhelmed that I seek out this kind of reflection. All the steps on this list are so important! Xo GD

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I am so glad you saw the video. I hope that you move toward your dream, but drop the high expectations that create anxiety and depression.

    • @shyaaammeneen63
      @shyaaammeneen63 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Gregory, Be careful what you feed your mind. To feel better reduce negative thoughts. Avoid comparing with others, reduce negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed, avoid moving too much and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Observe your breath sensations before sleep, when reading, in the kitchen, when taking a walk etc -----anytime-anywhere. Like me, make this a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.

    • @theprinceofrealestate
      @theprinceofrealestate 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If I heard of you, you are popular.
      Your talent belongs to Allah not u.
      Are you usually it ti please him?

  • @muntasir_almusalmi
    @muntasir_almusalmi ปีที่แล้ว

    ❤️

  • @ossahmadrezaazimikohnabi5108
    @ossahmadrezaazimikohnabi5108 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks for the great explaining. I really have a problem with this high expectations. I try to do some of the techniques.

  • @sandybartlett1333
    @sandybartlett1333 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Amazing

  • @rommelreckoblad2771
    @rommelreckoblad2771 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your right doc.. I'm a perfectionist my self.. this anxiety and depression developed because of expectation. And your right again doc this can lead to alcohol and drugs..
    And some of my anxiety disorder develop.. but I change my life style and change it for good.. I don't do any alcohol or drugs anymore for 5 years, i changes it for a better...
    thanks for the video doc, it help alot I'm learning your technique
    And now I'm the captain & in control with my body.. I'm stronger now doc because of your tips and technique, thanks alot..

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love how you keep trying to improve yourself, Rommel. That is a wonderful trait. We are all a work in progress. ❤️

  • @medhachakraborty7474
    @medhachakraborty7474 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I really loved your video. 🌈

  • @PaigePradkoTherapy
    @PaigePradkoTherapy  ปีที่แล้ว

    👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼For more therapy resources:
    www.paigepradko.com/resources
    👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼Free PDF: Why Do I Feel That in my Body? Explanations of Bodily Symptoms Due to Anxiety, Stress & Panic
    www.paigepradko.com/bodyanxiety
    👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼Free PDF: What to do when High Anxiety & Panic Strikes: FACE Fear
    paigepradko.com/facefear
    👉🏼👉🏼👉🏼 Signup for weekly newsletter for more therapy resources:
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  • @hastensavoir7782
    @hastensavoir7782 ปีที่แล้ว

    Women have too much expectations of what makes a good, great man.

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sometimes people do have unrealistic expectations of relationships and of others in their lives.

  • @wednesdayschild3627
    @wednesdayschild3627 ปีที่แล้ว

    What about other people like friends that think you are not doing enough?

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  ปีที่แล้ว

      Sorry if you experienced that. Personally, I think that is judgmental. Of course I do not know the circumstances, but I cannot imagine saying that to a friend or hearing that from a friend. I tend to think that people try their best given their circumstances. My general advice would be to follow what you personally value as opposed to what your friend may value.

  • @bainbridgetimbaci9067
    @bainbridgetimbaci9067 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I always loved your videos, helping me with my anxiety. Question: can depression lead to anxiety disorders?

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you so much, I appreciate it. Yes, mental health conditions do seem to lead to other symptoms. In my experience, I have seen more anxiety disorders lead to depression than the other way around. But, it is very common for someone to meet the criteria of both depression and anxiety. We do not always know which one came first.

  • @darienyau747
    @darienyau747 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My depression is causes by a hope is giving to me and suddenly gone

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I am sorry, Darien. Hope you feel better.

    • @shyaaammeneen63
      @shyaaammeneen63 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Darien, Be careful what you feed your mind. To feel better reduce negative thoughts. Avoid comparing with others, reduce negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed, avoid moving too much and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Never meditate with expectations but with awareness. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Observe your breath sensations before sleep, when reading, in the kitchen, when taking a walk etc -----anytime-anywhere. Like me, make this a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.

    • @darienyau747
      @darienyau747 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@PaigePradkoTherapy thank you so much for your concern Paige ✌️✌️💙💜💚

    • @darienyau747
      @darienyau747 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shyaaammeneen63 thank you so much for your concern yes I do practising mediation now I'm more peace,
      ✌️💚💜💙

    • @shyaaammeneen63
      @shyaaammeneen63 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@darienyau747 Since many years I have made it a habit to observe my breath sensations even during my normal activities and I am feeling relaxed. Anywhere-anytime it can be done. The best part is nobody comes to know that you are doing the breath observing practice as there is no deep breathing or sound. Reduce watching negative social media and news. If you have issues of overthinking and stress read my msg and do the practice regularly to feel better. . Best wishes. Sr. Counsellor.

  • @amir-oj8ox
    @amir-oj8ox 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    First of all . Thank you for informative videoes
    I am trying to quit clonazepam for about one year .
    I decresed slowly.
    It was succesful until i reach to 0.5 mg every week .
    After that :
    When i dont take 0.25 mg or 0.5 mg every 6 to 7 days
    I feel muscle stiffness and some panicks
    It seems i stoped in this level .
    What i should to do. I dont know. I am confused.
    Do you have any idea ?

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  4 ปีที่แล้ว

      That is really amazing that you did that...what a great accomplishment. I wish I could give you a recommendation, but, I am not a physician. But, you have really done something that is so difficult. Possibly continuing to slowly decrease that small dose that you take every 6 or 7 days would be the next step.

    • @amir-oj8ox
      @amir-oj8ox 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@PaigePradkoTherapy Thank you You made me so hopeful ! I try my best. Unfortunately, my morals have changed a lot during this period. I hope to return to previous days( befor addiction) and never try it.
      Thank you you made me happy this night:)
      Have good days and nights...

  • @InfernoGrit
    @InfernoGrit 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you again for another fab video. Knowing I can change my goals is what I really needed to hear and I didn't even think I could change my goals as I would be a failure. But I don't feel like one now.

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I am so glad you found the video helpful. This is a common thinking pattern I see in my clients.

    • @InfernoGrit
      @InfernoGrit 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@PaigePradkoTherapy Thank you for letting me know and for the helpful videos.

  • @wednesdayschild3627
    @wednesdayschild3627 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I thought I would recover from heart attack faster. I think the media fuels expectations see advertising.

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Take your time in healing and do what feels right for you. I imagine some days you will have more energy than other days.

  • @JH-xb3nl
    @JH-xb3nl 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Paige Justin here again. Maybe you never knew my name. Paige these past few days off feeling horrible has made me so depressed. OCD, anxiety and depression are running wild in my brain. Sometimes I feel I can't feel anything else except them. Hours on end. The squirrel cage in my head...
    I've always had fears of suicide. That is one of my themes of OCD. It feels so real that I will do it.... Which makes me more depressed. Suggestions for m my frisson

    • @JH-xb3nl
      @JH-xb3nl 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hit send before I meant to.
      Any suggestion on feeling self compassion when you feel you might not deserve it

    • @PaigePradkoTherapy
      @PaigePradkoTherapy  3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I am so sorry, Justin. OCD can create so much suffering. I unfortunately cannot treat you over TH-cam as you know, and I recommend that you seek help from an ocd specialist because I do see that you are suffering. But, I will share a bit of perspective There has been a great deal of research on the content of thoughts (the subject matter of our thoughts) comparing people with ocd and people without ocd. Guess what? The content of our thoughts are the same. They found no difference in the content of thoughts between people with these awful ocd themes and people without ocd. The difference they found was that people with ocd view their thoughts as significant and important, where people without ocd just let them go and recognize them as just thoughts. I am telling you this so that you realize that your thoughts are normal and they have no significance or control over you.
      Unfortunately, these scary themes have become obsessive because they have in fact scared you. Imaginal exposure scripts will mostly be your main treatment. I do not recall if you watched my video on how to write and record a script, but, I will post a link here. I like my clients to develop a fear hierarchy. Perhaps starting with acceptance scripts including why they want to practice exposures daily and what ocd has taken from them that they want back....things like peace of mind and enjoying time with loved ones, etc. Then move into single word recordings of trigger words with pauses in between saying and repeating trigger words, then moving into full written and recorded scripts. You can find some sample scripts at freedomfromocd.com. But, I recommend writing your own scripts. We have to expose ourselves to our fears to recover from ocd. But, we can use mindfulness and meditation techniques to comfort us. You simply notice what thoughts come up during meditation and bring the focus back to your breathing. I recommend the Headspace app for learning through guided meditation. I wish there was an easy way through this Justin, but, ERP is recommended daily for what you are experiencing. An SSRI antidepressant is recommended for ocd as well. I also want to recommend Jon Hershfield’s book on Overcoming Harm OCD if you would like additional resources. th-cam.com/video/HrjM091rcXc/w-d-xo.html

  • @vinodsingh-gr1xj
    @vinodsingh-gr1xj 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Did my comments connect to your sever , I wrote about my situation.