From an older guy to the younger guys - Two things to keep in mind while dating: First, if a woman is interested in you, it will be very obvious. You won't have to wonder at all. Second, if she loses interest it means she was never that interested in the first place and in all likelihood found someone she liked better. You were just a placeholder until a better option showed up. Accept that, forget her, and move on. Oh and if at some point she reaches out, ignore her. It just means that the other relationship didn't work out and she needs your services as a placeholder again.
@@ImBrockatron Understand that most guys in their mid 20's are at a real disadvantage in dating unless they are tall and quite handsome. Few at this point in their lives have much in the way of resources. And resources are what women really want from men. By contrast, women in their mid 20's are at the peak of their game. They have their youth, beauty, and no real competition. But times change and the years advance. By the time you get to your mid 30's, the advantage will switch to you. And these women will start to become bitter because they can't compete with the new crop of women in their mid 20's. Notice that a lot of the videos posted on social media by women ranting about men come from women who are getting older and resent that they are no longer getting the attention they feel they are still entitled to. Hell hath no fury like a woman denied what she feels to be her due!
I normally do that but i can still remember this one girl i was talking to. She was a 10 on the hotness scale and all my rules went out the window 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂
Come on bro. He just has to be 6'5", makes 6 figures, has a great social circle, travels consistently, has multiple homes and has white sheets. Is that too much to ask for these poor oppressed Western Women? Asking for a friend
"She doesn't like you". Actually, she doesn't like her PERCEPTION of you and the way you fit into her fantasy. I just want to make that distinction, as someone might feel their value as a person is lower, but the truth is it's not even about you. We all create fantasies about the people we meet and imagine how they will fit into ours, and maybe she can't find the fantasy to fit her perception. It can't be you, because she doesn't know the REAL you. Aside, great points in the video. Thanks, Courtney!
@@ethosterros9430 Princess syndrome. It's what happens when you raise little girls under Disney fantasies, spoil them, and then bring them into the feminist world where they are strong, independent wahmen. It breeds mass delusion and we are witnessing it all destroy the dating market.
@@ethosterros9430 No, it's really not just that. There is an explanation to an action, that doesn't require a dismissive, sweeping categorizing of filing it under ignorance
If a woman isn't interested in you, the worst thing you can do as a guy is to obsess over why it is that she stopped being interested. Whether it was you or her, it's really not that deep and you'll drive yourself crazy analyzing every single thing about you in order to avoid it happening again. Just chalk it up to a loss and move on.
Funny guys are told this, but when a girl obsesses like that, very often the discussion is "why did he leave her, he broke her heart." With guys we're told "lolz get over it, you lost."
Men have dones this for centuries.....Thats why we have the mythological "mermaids" which were really just hallucinations of the yearnings old sailors were having about their lost loves being projected onto the Sea. Obsession leads to Myth.
I spent the entire decade of my 20’s doing exactly this. I wish I’d listened to advice but I was stubborn. Try too hard? My answer was you can’t try hard enough!
Love isn't even worth it anymore. I'm too tired searching for love. Besides, I'm stuck in catch-22. I could never get a girlfriend no matter what I do. But then again, there's too much junk in the trunk women carry that is not worth putting up with to win them over. Plus, it doesn't take much for women to scare me away.
This is too common. People on TikTok think they're "dating experts" that give trash advice. And this whole ghosting stuff is why I stopped using dating apps. I'll be out in the field. These games are overrated
@Aaron Blazawal yes. Sales and dating have many similarities, in dating you are simply selling yourself and it’s important to recognize and prioritize serious buyers
Every decent looking girl with a social media account thinks she can be seen as a "dating advisor" just because she has a vagina, lmao. The best think you can do is focus on yourself and girls will come. If they lose interest, more will come by until the right one stays.
I love how some of them even self proclaim themselves as “dating experts”, it always makes me chuckle. To be fair the male pickup artists are sometimes just as bad!
@@ianarn there are a few that give meaningful advice to wanting better quality relationships with others and ourselves. Others just promote hookups and flings
@@Tim_G_Bennett Creating a list that basically is titled “The things I hate about my partner” puts a very negative focus on her view of her partner and their relationship. And keeping that in her back pocket instead of openly talking about it and showing acceptance from both sides makes sure the relationship will fail. A self fulfilling prophecy.
@@UnexpectedWonder You need to check Coach Greg Adams RIGHT NOW. I am from Belgium and his TH-cam channel is literally my TV. So the whole idea is simply remain single and invest in yourself.
Courtney, anybody who devises an "Ick List", immediately enters a possible relationship situation focusing on negatives instead of the positives. Nobody is perfect. I feel the lady in your video explaining her "Ick List", will one day realize she was not that special, and perhaps understand why the men in her life put her on their "Ick List" because of her attitude, and sense of entitlement.
This one is absolutely on-point. What she is doing, is actually forming a habit for "tracking the things she doesn't like"... This is a terribly destructive way to manage a relationship.
Agreed. One would meet people and pay attention mostly to negative things, and being so focused on tracking down negative stuff makes it difficult for one to notice positive things; we have limited mental capacity after all, spent too much mental resource on one part and there is less for others. Sooner or later, one will only see people as a list of things that make you "ick" but not a list of things that you like.
Learn when to walk away, gentlemen. Story for y'all: I had a thing going on with my coworker for a little while. We never got to date because she was going through some things. I respected it, but she still kept showing signs of interest. After a while, I found out she was talking to someone else. I wanted to remain as friends. I ended up getting Covid for 2 weeks, and not once she texted me to get better. However, prior to Covid, I met a nice girl (who's a lawyer), that takes time out of her day to text me back. She even wished me to get better from Covid. Said coworker has made no effort to ask how I've been since Covid, nor asks me anything about my personal life anymore. The lawyer at least makes an effort with me. You never know when things get better after a possible toxic relationship.
@@khalaq2 I'm the one that said we can remain as friends because she was going through a break up. But on reflection, I dodged a bullet because now she treats me like a total stranger for no reason.
@@khalaq2 thanks! The lawyer I met makes an effort to talk to me despite her busy schedule. We had a date recently and it was a lot of fun. I'm at work right now, and my coworker is totally ignoring me. It's whatever for me because I don't care about the coworker anymore now that I see her true colors.
@@quaker1874 why would ever date co worker they got be on the worst decisions ever you wonder why had problems at work for it kinda frowned upon dating you're co worker at work which can mess things up as reminder
I’ve worked on myself An incredible amount over the past five years. Getting rid of excess baggage, Meditating, really learning about who I am as a person, Finding my passions and goals, and i became really starting to be in tune with myself and comfortable in my own skin. I’ve become much happier person from all of this. So I know I definitely took a foot in the right direction for myself however, For the first time in my life I am having a hard time finding women to date. Who would’ve thought? Seems like women have Much less interest in me now than when I had unresolved issues. My biggest hangup is for the first time in life I know exactly what I want in a woman and know exactly what a healthy relationship should look and feel like. Finding emotionally available emotionally healthy women it’s like finding a needle in a haystack.
I think younger me needed to hear that. Didn’t ever date her, but it took me a long time to realize I was just being played when I was younger. Eventually I gathered the strength to know what I’m worth and now years later I have a wife and 2 children. ❤️
Well, now you know the reasons why they do it, guys, or at least 5 reasons, so, let me reiterate what you do about it. 1. Do NOT try to get back with her. You have just been shown specifically what you were to them. THAT is how it would go the next time. 2. Do NOT investigate why. If you do this, you are demonstrating that she DID matter to you. Be stoic. Stay in control of your feelings. Chances are, it'd just piss you off, anyway. 3. "Let's just be friends." NOPE!!! You don't need to be around someone you have feelings for so she can take advantage of that. Don't be an asshole about it. 4. Do not take her back. It is often the meat and drink of a bitch to wonder how her loss affected you. When she learns it didn't even break your stride, for some strange reason, it turns them on. They will try to tell you they made a huge mistake. Yup, and just leave it there. She deserves this. 5. Move forward. Do what YOU want to do. It takes a little practice, but it's ok to reflect on your time with her. There may have been lessons to learn, or good times you'll miss, but do not EVER mourn their loss from your life. Harden yourself, and be more selective next time, if you choose for there to be a next time. It may be un-Courtney Ryan-like for me to suggest this, always have your shields up. That said, do not lock phasers and begin firing. When I say "keep your shields up", this is a metaphor for "keep your head up, your shoulders back, and do NOT look down. As for "locking phasers..." Look up, acknowledge others, but do not stare or stare down. Confidence, not conflict.
The amount of women I've seen stay with men that cheat on them, emotionally abuses and plays games is amazing, fellas a woman is gonna be with you if she chooses to do so, don't feel the need to be this special guy for them. Ladies, don't get mad when you can't change a man, then realize YOU wasted your time with him.
100% facts. They will continue to get impregnated by the same cheater/abuser until HE is no longer interested. You will find all of these women on dating apps looking for something "serious". All of these women were on birth control btw.
Yea they stay when completely treated like dumpster garbage meanwhile this delusional cat lady is like ick his bed is the wrong color. Absolute delusion. These women gonna die alone.
My Ex actually HIT ME WITH the “ick” she kept a journal of my wrongs and things that transpired between us. Coming to find out she was just in love with her ex and sleeping with her friends and not ready for a relationship!
Sorry Bro, that sucks. I noticed you said she was sleeping with her friends. Goes back to that age old question whether men and women make good friendships. I sense a little manipulation on her part. Hang in there man.
Note to everyone: if you want to go ahead with the whole, "ick", on someone to look for a person's blemishes, do not forget that the door swings both ways. A person whom you might like, might have an, "ick list", on you as well. In the end, please treat someone as you want to be treated. (which also means that you value and love yourself first)
- She has no interests - She doesn't know what she wants in a guy - Anything is always too available or too little available - They think you have no life if you don't post random reels in instagram
Interesting topic. I think it's unreasonable to look for a perfect person. Rather acknowledge that people have flaws and you do too. There's obvious red flags that you should try to fix or distance yourself from, however, if you jump from relationship to relationship, you'll find out that everyone you find attractive has their issues. It's just a matter of which mix of issues you decide to accept and ultimately be their life long partner.
When my ex broke up with me, she told me it was because she wasn’t ready for a relationship and just wanted to be friends until then (called me when she was on her lunch break to do this). I understood and went with it. Found out from her best friend that it’s because she cheated on me with her ex once he came back home for 2 weeks from being deployed in Hawaii. Plus that week when she broke up with me, she already went on a date that weekend. Been tough recovering from the truth. Love this channel for advice 🙏🏽
"Fill in Guy"... yep, been there done that. I told the girl who used me in that fashion that she blew the chance to get to know a high-quality guy. Her loss.
I have had a couple of girlfriends come back to me, a few months after disappearing. I spoke with both of them when they came back each time, but decided not to get back together in either case. In both cases we only dated a short time at beginning. it was obvious they was dating other guys in-between and trying to decide. I just did not like being considered number 2 choice. The woman I did marry was about a couple of years later and she always kept me number one and played it straight, no games. However, after many years, I am facing dating again as we split up, and as an older guy with experience, so not entirely worried about how to date (I am not shy with women) just need a refresher course like listening to this channel for some solid tips for self improvement and how to romance a woman etc. Thanks Courtney!
Funny how people are "trying to reach perfection..." but it's just piling on the requirements to be perfect on someone else. Whilst being blind to their own faults, no less.
I relate with the “ick” because I was seeing someone who I found incredibly attractive and interesting up until I learned that she only eats fast food. This is not a joke.. she told me “all we eat at my house is fast food, nobody cooks” When I finally went to her house her mom ordered papa John’s for dinner and earlier that day we had McDonald’s for lunch at our Uni. I was grossed out lol
If she doesn't cook, don't deal with her. Lol I don't mind cooking for my woman, but once in a while, I'd like for my woman to make me a home cooked meal. 👍
@Whatever wow! You dodged a bullet there. Fast food once a week is totally reasonable. If she had that level of judgement she was not worth being with.
You know Courtney Ryan is way wrong when she says you don’t need closure and excusing ghosting. If you go out with a girl and spend a considerable amount of time and money with this person, the girl owes the guy at least a goodbye text if not a break up conversation. If there is abuse, then yes, I think this is an exception. But it’s very immature for someone to just ghost the other person. We are human beings with feelings, there is no excuse to not give someone a break up notice. I find women do this and they should be called out for it and closure is appropriate and mature way of letting someone down easy.
I agree. Too many women out there excusing that behavior because they "don't know how the guy will react" or he might bad mouth them or whatever. It's a weak stance. If you're at least a date or two in and it's not working out and the guy's not a shit-bag then you owe him the courtesy and the closure so he can move on with his life.
Agreed. Ghosting speaks volume about the character (or lack thereof) of the person doing the ghosting. It is an extremely immature and selfish justification of their ego and their emotional state, to deny closure between the other party (or both parties) and grow. Ghosting ruins the other person, especially if they were invested in the relationship.
I agree with everything you said completely! I think what Courtney meant was "you dont *NEED* anything from them to be happy" Like, you can still live a great life even if they never give an explanation. Ofc that doesn't make ghosting any less cowardly. But like, if someone ghost you, they're probably not that great of a person anyway, so who cares
Forget relationships , they are a figment of some religious zealots control freak mind . We as humans are seasonal creatures much like most other species on the planet . My advice is if it "flies , or floats , or phucks, just rent it !!!
from my experience... many times it has to do with the involvement of a 3rd party and what I mean by this is that many times women value their friends and social circles more than any guy or sexual relationship ( because keep in mind, women are more attuned to emotional needs rather than sexual needs). so, her friends can convince her not to date nor get involved with a particular guy or try to give reasons or excuses to why she could do better or he is not a match for her. For example, a woman first likes a guy and is very excited and interested and gets to know the guy..... then she is so excited she tells all her friends or best friends; then maybe her friends or social circles do not like this particular guy, or they're jealous of him or they feel like she could do better, they could convince her to drop this guy; leave him alone and move on! This is one ugly reality of the dating scene many people do not like to admit nor talk about in general. This is the truth to why many women end up losing interested or end up moving on after they expressed interest. If the woman was not that interested in the first place, then I personally don't believe that she would waste her time in the first place! In fact, Courtney, I would love you to do a video on why it is not a good idea to involve 3rd parties in your intimate/romantic sexual relationships or dating because 3rd parties can really be detrimental and breach the relationships!
@@AbnerChamate You can say that… but friends do not always have the best interest at heart for yourself or lifestyle. Look at it like this, when you are dating someone.. Are you dating them? Or their friends, groups or social circles? Are you dating them? Or there coworkers/classmates/or neighbors? Everyone is different and compatibility is different. Allowing/involving friends/groups/social circles ( aka 3rd parties) in your relationships is basically giving away your relationship to other people and putting the power and control into other people’s hands! 3rd parties are always detrimental because there is always someone is who trying to control, someone who is jealous, or someone who is trying to harm,damage, ruin or breach the relationship. I remember back in the days, I was dating a woman and someone in her friend group became so jealous; she started making up rumors and lies that I was a dangerous/violent person and was planning to go on a shooting spree. Then she started to get as many people as possible to side with her and eventually caused the relationship between me and this girl to breach. Was it fair? No! Did I say or do anything wrong to the jealous 3rd party? No! So because of 3rd party is killed a perfect happy long term healthy relationship. This is the consequence of involving 3rd parties! It all could have been avoided if the girl didn’t inform or involve the 3rd party in the first place!
With how scientific guys have to be these days at getting the formula "just right" to even keep a woman's attention for longer that 15 minutes, we're going to have a generation of single people like there's never been before...
Hasel Basil it’s not like it’s much better if you meet them at church, school, work, or Whole Foods. Women are women, and today’s women are touched by social media and feminism to a certain extent. It just is what it is.
@@shaunenwright7872 No, go out into the real world and you will see most women are different, the girls on these dating appts are not really interested in finding a guy they are just there for fun, it's a game to them, at least it is for the young ones.
I've been through such a ghosting recently myself and after watching this video, looks like a combination of factors 3 (not into you) and 5 (met someone else). Videos like this help keep such experiences in perspective. Barring some over-the-top behavior or clinginess on your part, that is not you, that is all them. Accept, process, move on.
Yeah, they tell you they don't want to continue romantically; after you take them out and pay for the dates, shopping, extravaganza, contract, and miscellaneous fees, etc.
If you’re at all involved in a girl’s debt issues and you are not a financial professional hired by her for the purpose of addressing the problem, or you are not her husband, you have made a massive mistake.
I used to be the attention guy. Whenever I suggested we spend some time together she'd be busy or couldn't make it. I continued on hoping that we'd hang out eventually but it never happened. I moved away and I never heard from her again. It sucks but I learned, not making that mistake again.
so basically, anything miniscule will lead to ghosting or losing interest. I literally set up a date with this girl in my gym she agreed, and then 5 days later when I asked if she was still down she just ghosted me.
Seriously, why do you guys think it is an appropriate time to hit on a girl when she's working out at a gym? She probably said yes just to get rid of you.
@@laurapendosa4967 hey Laura. From my experience it totally depends on the girl and can’t be generalized. Some girls secretly hope that a guy approaches her the right way, some other girls just want to develop their inner man and don’t give a fuck about other men. You see, it depends what is her internal priority.
I don't usually comment, but I want to let you know that your content is so helpful and encouraging. I've been single for a long time now (not gonna get into it). But, It's really nice to know there are genuine women out there who do want a life long partner, and it gives me hope that I will find the person I can share my life with and have someone that I can take on life with as a team. Just wanted to leave a positive comment, and a thank you.
When a guy rejects a girl they can't stand it. It's so bad that some girls need 6 months of therapy to get over it. Remember guys it's okay if she rejects you, but don't dare reject her!
As men most of us need to understand the power of rejecting women. We need fo reject them A LOT more.. they need to get their ego checked. Build an attachment then reject her on purpose and make sure you keep a stream of new options flowing in. That's the only way you will ever gain power in your "relationships ". When she comes back she will appreciate you more. That's the hardest part for most of us to "get" women actually WANT YOU TO REJECT THEM.
@@rickterrance4981 I don't agree necessarily that women want me to reject them as much as they want to know that I 1. will stand up for myself when she/someone else decides to throw a lot of shade my way. 2. And the mature(not given to persistent emotionalism) woman will understand and appreciate me/you for giving her the space-time to 1. Remember who she is and what is important to her--same as you need with friends or hobby/project all your own. For what it's worth, this is what I happen to believe.
JUST FOUND YOUR PAGE LAST WEEK AND I'M HOOKED/ YOU ARE SPOT ON IN EVERYTHING I'VE SEEN. THANK YOU. I'M A BIG FAN. YOUR DELIVERY IS AWESOME AND YOU KNOW THE SUBJECT EVERY TIME.
I'm now subscribed. You get it, about things. All of what you said needed to be heard. With the "ick" part, people shouldn't be doing the "ick" thing in general, let alone in dating. One of my pet peeves is when people do the "ick" thing, at all. "Attract the right person for you." Good line. Not just the right person, but the right person "for us."
Ghosting? Disappearing on anyone is ghosting. Ghosting anyone is just rude. The only justification is if she has good reason to worry about her safety.
Yeah Courtney missed the mark here which is unusual for her. It’s not about someone being obligated to like you, it’s about having common decency and respect for the other person.
Sometimes it's not possible to be straightforward with someone because they're a narcissist, where even letting them down gently, it's often better to quietly slip away.
I’m a man. I ghost women because I see through them. Women and sex to me is something out of a science fiction movie. It looks cool and fun to be apart of, but in the end, the final frontier was made in a Hollywood basement. In real life, I work out. That’s my sex. I play video games. That’s my version of cuddling. I play the sims. That’s family life for me. Life doesn’t have to be that complicated
Courtney, once again comes with more HEAT! Guys sometimes it’s you and sometimes it isn’t. Actually most times it isn’t you. DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. That girl was not the right one for you. Continue to grow, don’t hold a grudge and live life to the fullest. Everything will fall into place
This happened to me Wednesday with a girl I’ve been seeing 4 months ago. Best girl I’ve ever gone out with. I’m not obsessing over it but damn does it hurt especially after having given this one my all which I never do.
That's your problem... You gave her your all, while she only gave you about 25%. Never do that. Have your own things/hobbies. Put yourself first, then give her your time.
@@jleano609 first off no she gave a lot of effort back. Second I’m making an objective statement. She had her flaws but she was by far the highest quality woman I’ve ever gone out with (which is admittedly a low bar). There’s nothing wrong with admitting that. When you’re trying to make something like a relationship that quickly becomes an LDR work you have to give it your all or it’s guaranteed to fail. And I’m beyond busy on my own time. Don’t make assumptions regarding someone you don’t know @tfgamer
It's so sad to see these ladies keeps on coming up with things that will keep them single for good. First, it was a job, a car and a house was good enough for a man to find a woman, then need a high value men, then the 6 6s and now the ick list. The pool of men is getting smaller by the day and they don't even know it. Also they only have a limited supply of eggs in a lifetime. Their only/primary traits that attract men is also a limited time offer. Their philosophy of men is also discouraging them to look at a brighter side of things so it will help them be more positive and help them select a man. Please ladies you are digging yourself a very very deep hole and pretty soon no one will get you out of it. The trends are already showing in a negative direction. SMH. Great video!
The ick list is the worst piece of advice. You have to look for the good in people. If you are constantly looking for all the bad things in people you will actually absorb all that bad energy and you will actually become that person, so beware.
Fearful Avoidants often do that, because when the relationship gets boring, they freak out because they think it’s all supposed to be like the honeymoon stage. Or they look for qualities they wish they had in themselves in a partner , and it freaks them out and they leave
Focussing on the negative brings in more negative. I think if you are keeping a list of reasons to leave rather than a list of reasons to stay you'll eventually talk yourself into leaving.
If I learned anything about a girl disappearing on you, or about any breakup in general, is that you will almost NEVER know the real reasons why. That's one of the reasons why it hurts so much. On the other hand, keep in mind that the real truth might have had hurt you even more :-)
Neediness, being desperate and having saying yes to everything she says are the biggest down sides to be attractive. She is not going to develop any feelings for you.
Thank you for this as always! Had some woman ghost before in the past, but it's okay just working on myself and these videos really do help appreciate all that you do.! Happy early Halloween by the way! 😁🔥👊💙🙏
You were ghosted because you have low sexual marketplace value. If you were Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling, you would not have been ghosted. Simple as that.
She lost interest because she keep her Bumble or other dating app profile up and something better came along. It used to be that you would ask a girl out and a few weeks might go by before another guy asks her out or you might even become "a couple" after you "seal the deal". On the dating apps, they get asked out everyday by multiple guys and so they can't commit. Are men the same? I'd say most men aren't as picky as women and don't get as many matches. For women, they get 100 likes - 5 guys they like back. For men, its give a 100 likes and they might get 5 back. Thats probably being generous too. For Chads, its the opposite.
Bro I ain’t joking when I say this but I knew a girl, not very attractive I’d say 4/10 tell me she got over 50 likes and it was hectic…. I’m like yo HOW mann
Yep I mean apps are crazy I don't think I am bad looking I work out etc but get few matches. And vast majority are nothing special at all. I think it's the point of working too hard, better to just focus on myself and level up and if a girl comes along later then great. Still on apps but limit the time I spend on them.
I don't usually agree with you but I appreciate you putting your input on this topic. I have constant anxiety about this and never get closure or answers about what I might have done for things to turn cold. So it often leaves me feeling very rejected and sad. I do think women are picky about the wrong things. It reminds me of the show Seinfeld and the things he would complain about that just don't matter when finding a person of substance. Alot of the girls in your video the other day gave me that vibe when you were giving them examples to rate a guy 1-10. To me things like that don't matter as long as she is cute and we share the same values and life decisions I'm very content.
Fascinating. One more reason why I'm glad I'm at an age/place where I don't have to deal with this. An "ick list," really? If I found out someone was compiling a list of minor flaws on me, I'd drop her immediately...if not sooner. I agree completely about the concept of "closure." If it's over, and it didn't land you in divorce court, *it's over.* It doesn't matter why... sometimes she sincerely couldn't even put it into words. Oftentimes, people are looking for a list of reasons so they can "sell" continuing the relationship. They're going to "overcome objections..." winding up being strung along, used, and feeling even worse after having performed the 12 Labors of Hercules (major simping) and still gettin' dumped. Don't do it. Move on, live life. And don't be a backup plan. If she comes back, her first choice didn't work out. You're a place holder til she meets someone she likes, she's looking, and when she finds him... she'll "just want to be friends" again. Send her on her way (FTR, I'm aware that guys do this. My perspective is that of an oldish man who didn't date dudes, 😂) Last... I like your channel, "CR!" You're very wise. You're not, like, a 2000 years old and very well disguised, are you?😏😍
Honestly, social media has ruined dating for the majority of people for a variety of reasons. Courtney is one of the few women I'd actually take TH-cam advice from because she's beautiful, has a nice voice, seems to genuinely try to help people, men and women alike, and tries her best to be as neutral as possible. She won't sugarcoat, but she keeps her content pg to pg13 rated and I respect that even though I'm more of an R rated person😆
Courtney - great comments as always - I agree. But at the end of the day, the best remedy, no matter what, is always the good old "develop your self-esteem" - love yourself to the point you really don't care whether or not she stopped liking you. Move on! When you love yourself you will generate such a great vibe that you'll end up attracting the ones that actually are in synch with you and that's when life gets so much better
That's why in this case for security reasons to always have a back up and then some. Dating one girl and hoping it's going to work because you are in to her is not always a must. Dating quite a few hot women sure helps. This way your not upset when the first girl loses interest. You move on and take it as it's her loss. 😁
I was dumped by my ex after 3 plus months out of "nowhere" meaning no prior drama at all. She literally went from " want to quit my job and find a house to move into with you to I've lot all the spark and think we should split two weeks later. Her only reasons : lack of experimentation in the bedroom and me disagreeing with her feministic viewpoints. As a result she left me and didnt look back. I was left in complete shock, but honestly now I know that this woman simply wasnt mentally healthy enough to be with due to her depression, drug use and very negative and narcissistic tendencies. I'm lucklily in a much better place today
@Jay Bee I'm smiling and shaking my head over such a comment coming from someone who has no insight and didn't know her or me. In no way was this woman mentally stable and if you had been in my place, you'd understand why. It wasn't up to me to fix her as the neurotic-psychotic borderline she clearly was. If anyone was a sexist, it was her, don't get that twisted. 3rd/4th wave feminists mostly feel superior to men and behave like narcissistic men. There's actually plenty of evidence behind that. Don't believe that then follow Prof Sam Vaknin and you'll be suriced. Nonetheless, I'm in a better position now because I took responsibility for myself by standing up for myself, not letting her run me over. Only a submissive slave would accept what was behind her beautiful mask. I've dated several nice women since then, who've been submissive, in their natural feminine and had no modern day feministic beliefs. A woman who disrespects men does not deserve my respect.
I'm 73 and have never been in an abundance situation. However, although I've never been needy ( Ithink), I've always been in a situation where choices are severely limited. Dating on-line is as bad at my age as any; the pool is limited and the lack of replies to messages or being blocked from sending a further message is crushing, and I rarely last for more than a few weeks before feeling so bad about myself that I withdraw.
#2 is so real. Women I’ve met love getting attention and it sucks because I am genuinely am interested in getting to know them. I get women can be busy, but she doesn’t see me as a prize.
About this "ick". It seems to have existed since the beginning of the time, and it's one of the reasons why I've been hesitant about talking to girls. Most girls seemed like there was no room for error with them, and one wrong move could spell my doom. That's why I've also referred to such girls as "land mine girls". Now that I'm an adult, I just worry about "land mine women".
I have reactions on a couple of points that Courtney made and then add one of my own. The first point she made about girls being highly, irrationally critical is true in many cases. The thing about the color of sheets is beyond anything that I have ever conceived of, but women in general are much more prone to fault-finding than most men even though some men can be hyper-critical. This tendency has merit in that a mother needs to be very closely attentive to her small child's health and the child's emotions especially considering that the child may not be old enough to be able to articulate what is wrong or may not even be old enough to speak. The wife can discern when her husband needs to be comforted or encouraged when he is not willing to speak of what is troubling him. The man's lack of clear communication with his wife might be due to his being inarticulate about his feelings or a fear that showing vulnerability will diminish him in the eyes of his wife. One big reason that men stray from a wife is for this reason. Another woman is able to read these emotions and then reach out to him and encourage him when his wife fails to do so. Then the emotional bond that is created leads to infidelity because the mistress is more of a wife to him than his actual wife. So, we want women to pick up on things that can help the child or that can help the husband, but when she notices things that grosses her out or disappoints her as she might read something that is not intended into a stray remark (or something is as picky and irrelevant as colors of sheets), then that fault-finding tendency can become very destructive, both early and later on in a relationship. The other point that Courtney raises and has raised before is "clinginess" or being "desperate." I am not sure exactly what constitutes these qualities. What is the difference between being devoted to someone and loving to be around them a lot and being clingy? My hunch is there are a few issues that need to be untangled here. First, men fall for a girl faster than the girl responds to them in most, but not all, cases. Men and women are not alike. They are significantly different and this difference comes out in how fast romantic love fastens ahold of a man or he feels sexual attraction. There is also in men a much clearer train of thought in sex and romance. Men set clear goals and then go for them. They tend not to think in ambiguous terms. This is not a bad thing. For instance, on another comment on another of Courtney's videos, I told of watching a WWII soldier featured in a documentary falling in love with a French girl in the middle of a battle with German soldiers right after D-Day. He promised to come back for her and he did. They married and remained married to her death decades later. If he had not fallen for her in that moment and been motivated to find her again, their marriage would not have taken place. The girl did respond to his love and accepted it. In my own case, whenever I have fallen in love with a girl, except with one girl, they have all responded favorably very quickly. In this other case, it took a year to get into a dating relationship with her but then she was as "clingy" with me as I was with her. There are two keys to what is perceived as "clingy" vs. "devoted." One is the mutuality of the rate of falling for the other person and the other, more important one, is the degree of connection that the two people have. If the man has really fallen in love with the girl, then the rate does not matter. She is likely to respond favorably at some point. That does not mean that you will marry if there are other complications in both persons' situation that arise or the other problem arises that I will mention below. But she will not reject the man for being too devoted if the man truly loves her because the bond is there. This bond is beyond the biological or material and is a spiritual union of two souls as well as their bodies later on. To overlook this spiritual bond misses the entire point of love. Consider Plato's *Symposium* for a penetrating discussion of erotic love. The problem arises here if the man has not fallen in love with the girl and is either only interested in sex or simply does not feel this supernatural bond with her. Then she correctly rejects him since the relationship is not the ultimate one and she does not feel this bond because it does not exist. The man seems "too clingy" because she does not feel this intimate bond with him. Here is the second issue related to "clinginess." But to be very clear, the man is the one who initiates a love relationship, not the woman. If the woman does so, then that usually will not work for two basic reasons. The first is that the man's natural tendency is to focus on compatibility while the woman's tendency is to value complementarity. Many men, but not all, want a woman he can be close to in every way. Some women do not value this as highly as do other women. The difference here that ties into this natural difference also has to do with two forms of marriage-1. monogamy 2. polygamy. In monogamy, the two are not only sex partners but lovers and best friends so that they are as Aristophanes depicts romantic love as two halves of the same person that is described in Plato's *Symposium.* This is romantic love or Eros joined with Storge (caring love) and Philia (friendship). Then we have polygamy. There is usually no love in polygamy. When there has been such as in the Bible in the story of Jacob and Rachel but with Jacob being tricked into also marrying Rachel's sister, Leah, Jacob truly loves Rachel (notice that he falls in love with her on first sight) but is saddled with Leah. Jacob later loves his two sons with Rachel but seems to care little for the other children with Leah. Leah was devastated by Jacob not loving her and the sons of Leah later plotted to kill Joseph and then settled for selling him into slavery out of jealously. In other cases throughout history, when love is shown in polygamy it results in one of the wives plotting to kill the other one. So for these reasons and others, men in polygamous marriages do not show love or really feel love for his wives. It's all about sex and provision. When a woman does not really want a man to be so close to her emotionally regardless of how long she has known him, the woman has opted for a polygamous version of marriage. Some women might very well be more temperamentally inclined to this impersonal, distant form of relating to men in sexual relationships. They simply do not find monogamous love appealing. And some men are not inclined to feel devotion to any one woman. So, it might not be that the woman has not found the right man who loves her. It might be that she prefers impersonal sex and distant, cold men. Even though polygamy is not openly practiced in Western Civilization, the innate tendency for some is to the basic dynamics of polygamy, even if there is only one wife. The point that I want to add to Courtney's list of reasons that a female might bail out unexpectedly is fear of being hurt based on a previous relationship going bad. I have had this happen to me at least two times. I can infer one girl who I was open to loving doing me this way very likely based on her being deeply hurt by someone when she was in college. I had held back my feelings because I sensed something was amiss with her. It would take too long to provide details here. The other one is more explicit and simpler to describe. I was dating a very good looking, intelligent girl in the aftermath of the girl I just touched on suddenly erupting in anger and ending the relationship with me. We had been going out a few times a week for about two months, when I called her and asked her if she wanted to see a Broadway show that I had just heard advertised on the radio. She said that she could not go on such short notice-it was the next night. I said okay and then said I would see her Saturday for our already scheduled date. A few minutes later, she called me back and said that she never wanted to see me again. I was taken aback. I asked what was wrong. She said something did not seem right. She was very evasive. Then after I kept on questioning her, she said in a deeply emotional hurt tone, "I dated this guy for seven years and he would not marry me." That was it. She had told me about that experience a few times previously. I was the first man to get going with her after this breakup with this guy she had hoped to marry. I concluded that she was feeling emotionally vulnerable to me and was afraid of being hurt again. I replied that that was not me and I could not help what someone else did to her, but she kept on repeating the same line in a very hurt voice. I never saw her again. But she was right to sense that while I liked her and was attracted to her, I was not in love with her. So, in many of these cases where someone disappears, it might be that they are open to the man but are fearful of being hurt again by someone they feel that they would like to open their heart to.
If she didn't liked you she didn't liked you. I also had great conversations, and only got to hang out with 1 of them. You either like her or not, there must be some physical attraction also
When I feel love I Give Love even though I didn't receive it. It happens in a relationship unless or until if we are probity to ourselves not others. Have a Great Day Ms.
The "Ick List" sounds like the closure the creator uses the justify dump/ghosting or expedting being dumped/ghosted in the most unproductive way possible.
Hi Courtney 👋 How are you doing today ? Thank you very much for this video, I finally got to understand that she ghost me out because one of your five reasons could of taking place in our fresh relationship !! Thanks and God bless you Courtney !!
Women are truly flooded with attention.....on the rare occasions i do get 'a swipe' on a dating app they either unmatch me instantly, never message me and if i message them first they ignore me. I don't know if this is the same with other guys ? Anyway i went full monk, can't be arsed with women.
Id say it is. They did a study on this. Women only swipe right on a very small percentage of men. If you are not a top tier guy, which most men are not, dating apps are a complete waste of time.
Some sobering stats for you: Rich Cooper had a guy on his show who had slick social media, great text game etc, and of the 240(ish) matches he received on dating apps only 18 agreed to meet him in person. This is why getting out and about meet people is the way to go. You have already cleared the hurdle of getting girls in front of you. SM and apps are nothing but a mechanism for women to waste a lot of your time. Even if they show signs they're into you getting them to meet you is another thing altogether; it's so easy for them to flake and usually they do.
The most successful business people are the ones who tried and failed enough times until it worked out for them. The guys most successful with women have probably been rejected more than the guys who can't stomach rejection. Build build build 👊
One-itis is only a thing when they aren’t reciprocating your time, effort and energy. Your partner should be reciprocating those things, so it’s not one-itis haha
If you have not noticed, most relationships are failures. Furthermore, almost 50% of marriages end in divorce, with women filing for divorce in 80% of the cases. Even in the marriages that continue, alot involve cheating and unhappiness. You really need to get out of the blue pill mindset dude. Its 2021, not 1950.
Even in marriage and LTR it’s important to retain an abundance mindset and remain attractive and capable of sourcing other women, even if you don’t. It will keep your SO attracted
@@jleano609 As Jordan Peterson says: Be atractive to the highest number of women you possibly can, but pick just one. I think female atention is just the way life has to tell "youre doing it right".
I have realized a lot of times that a woman has a lot of insecurity and seeks validation and ego-boosting and when I don't give that to her, she feels bad about her self and I reflect that self-doubt to them (mirror empath here) and they no longer like to hang out with me. A similar thing I notice happen numerous times through life is that a woman will start to get to know things about me and how I am, how moral-based or intelligent or emotionally strong, and feel insecure in such a way that she judges herself in comparison to what I've been through, know, how I 'stand' on things, and feels 'lesser' and like she doesn't 'deserve' me/I'm 'too good' for her. I can sense this happening during conversations, and it's beyond my power to do anything about and a sign that she still needs to work on herself. I think a lot of times guys who really are great partners for women, scare them off because trauma and insecurity and fears (even such that 'this is too good to be true' or 'he is so good someone better than me will come along and take him and I don't want that worry' sorts of things) I've seen at least a few times you give advice to guys who message you about 'she's just not into you if she says XYZ' and I think these sorts of scenarios I've been through could very well be the sort of thing the guys are experiencing and you never mention it.
From an older guy to the younger guys - Two things to keep in mind while dating: First, if a woman is interested in you, it will be very obvious. You won't have to wonder at all. Second, if she loses interest it means she was never that interested in the first place and in all likelihood found someone she liked better. You were just a placeholder until a better option showed up. Accept that, forget her, and move on. Oh and if at some point she reaches out, ignore her. It just means that the other relationship didn't work out and she needs your services as a placeholder again.
As another older guy I agree with this 100%
She thought the grass would be greener on the other side. It rarely is and women are too emotion driven and not logic driven to realize that.
It's really sad when you hear people say that you'll know when a girl is interested... I'm 24 almost 25 and not a single 1...
@@ImBrockatron Understand that most guys in their mid 20's are at a real disadvantage in dating unless they are tall and quite handsome. Few at this point in their lives have much in the way of resources. And resources are what women really want from men. By contrast, women in their mid 20's are at the peak of their game. They have their youth, beauty, and no real competition. But times change and the years advance. By the time you get to your mid 30's, the advantage will switch to you. And these women will start to become bitter because they can't compete with the new crop of women in their mid 20's. Notice that a lot of the videos posted on social media by women ranting about men come from women who are getting older and resent that they are no longer getting the attention they feel they are still entitled to. Hell hath no fury like a woman denied what she feels to be her due!
The grass might seem greener but it might have dog shit on it🤦🏻♂️😂😂
If she stops texting you. She lost interest/respect for you, move on and don’t be a simp for her.
Thanks
You're right, sir. We should respect ourserves first.
Life goes on, get harder
An “EX” probably came back into her life too. I’ve been in that spot, plenty of times. Annoying asf
I normally do that but i can still remember this one girl i was talking to. She was a 10 on the hotness scale and all my rules went out the window 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂
You never have total control over how someone feels about you, focus on bettering yourself everyday.
Any woman who ghosts/discards you and doesn't provide closure with a reasonable explanation is not worth it. You've absolutely dodged a bullet.
true
They found someone better in their eyes, then again, and again, and again……until you get the “OMG, where are all the good guys”
Conclusion: Women don’t know what they want. Which is why I don’t trust them.
Exactly
Come on bro. He just has to be 6'5", makes 6 figures, has a great social circle, travels consistently, has multiple homes and has white sheets. Is that too much to ask for these poor oppressed Western Women? Asking for a friend
I think i'll just date internationally from now on.
@@ilikepancakes2368 never trust 99.99 % of them they will cheat
"She doesn't like you". Actually, she doesn't like her PERCEPTION of you and the way you fit into her fantasy. I just want to make that distinction, as someone might feel their value as a person is lower, but the truth is it's not even about you. We all create fantasies about the people we meet and imagine how they will fit into ours, and maybe she can't find the fantasy to fit her perception. It can't be you, because she doesn't know the REAL you. Aside, great points in the video. Thanks, Courtney!
Yea some of these chicks are delusional.
@@ethosterros9430 Princess syndrome. It's what happens when you raise little girls under Disney fantasies, spoil them, and then bring them into the feminist world where they are strong, independent wahmen. It breeds mass delusion and we are witnessing it all destroy the dating market.
Sounds like a Avoidant attachment style
@@coreygeiger81 no they're just ignorant
@@ethosterros9430 No, it's really not just that. There is an explanation to an action, that doesn't require a dismissive, sweeping categorizing of filing it under ignorance
If a woman isn't interested in you, the worst thing you can do as a guy is to obsess over why it is that she stopped being interested. Whether it was you or her, it's really not that deep and you'll drive yourself crazy analyzing every single thing about you in order to avoid it happening again. Just chalk it up to a loss and move on.
Funny guys are told this, but when a girl obsesses like that, very often the discussion is "why did he leave her, he broke her heart." With guys we're told "lolz get over it, you lost."
Agree
Men have dones this for centuries.....Thats why we have the mythological "mermaids" which were really just hallucinations of the yearnings old sailors were having about their lost loves being projected onto the Sea. Obsession leads to Myth.
I spent the entire decade of my 20’s doing exactly this. I wish I’d listened to advice but I was stubborn. Try too hard? My answer was you can’t try hard enough!
Getting dumped/ghosted for having white sheets?? Jesus, no wonder men are giving up on dating…
Ikr?!
lol
Agree mate, it’s non-sense
Love isn't even worth it anymore. I'm too tired searching for love. Besides, I'm stuck in catch-22. I could never get a girlfriend no matter what I do. But then again, there's too much junk in the trunk women carry that is not worth putting up with to win them over. Plus, it doesn't take much for women to scare me away.
Completely agree! this generation of women are so picky and bitchy... Ive given up. no matter who or what i am it will never be enough.
This is too common. People on TikTok think they're "dating experts" that give trash advice. And this whole ghosting stuff is why I stopped using dating apps. I'll be out in the field. These games are overrated
Agreed!!
@Aaron Blazawal yes. Sales and dating have many similarities, in dating you are simply selling yourself and it’s important to recognize and prioritize serious buyers
Every decent looking girl with a social media account thinks she can be seen as a "dating advisor" just because she has a vagina, lmao. The best think you can do is focus on yourself and girls will come. If they lose interest, more will come by until the right one stays.
I love how some of them even self proclaim themselves as “dating experts”, it always makes me chuckle. To be fair the male pickup artists are sometimes just as bad!
@@ianarn there are a few that give meaningful advice to wanting better quality relationships with others and ourselves. Others just promote hookups and flings
Great advice as always. Appreciate the help. The "ick" list sounds like why that person will always be single. No one is perfect.
For sure, I would say having anyone make a list of things like that would be a big red flag.
Yeah that’s weird as hell
@@Tim_G_Bennett Creating a list that basically is titled “The things I hate about my partner” puts a very negative focus on her view of her partner and their relationship. And keeping that in her back pocket instead of openly talking about it and showing acceptance from both sides makes sure the relationship will fail. A self fulfilling prophecy.
If a bad boy Chad comes across the icky girl, she’d break all the rules for him 🙄
Exactly!!!
It's an odd moment when you realize that you're just a woman's attention guy. Even worse if you're genuinely attracted to her.
Happens to me all the time. That’s why I retired and became a 40 year old virgin lol.
"women's attention guy ''??
sorry I'm not a native speaker
like someone who she goes out with just to get attention from other women/people?
I think that happened to me
The MOMENT you show her interest on her she starts looking for someone else RIGHT AWAY. So this is a mental disorder.
Exactly!!! 👊👊👌👌👏👏🙏🙏
@@UnexpectedWonder You need to check Coach Greg Adams RIGHT NOW. I am from Belgium and his TH-cam channel is literally my TV. So the whole idea is simply remain single and invest in yourself.
@@cenk.toplar I know about him. He's interesting. I don't follow him though. I don't agree with much of his Ideology.
@@UnexpectedWonder I wonder what point you disagree ?
Exactly
Society should be finding what is right about people instead of what's wrong about people. That really says more about you.
Society is hopeless 😩 thanks social media and Apps ! Love this lady she just tells it like it is 🙌
Courtney, anybody who devises an "Ick List", immediately enters a possible relationship situation focusing on negatives instead of the positives. Nobody is perfect.
I feel the lady in your video explaining her "Ick List", will one day realize she was not that special, and perhaps understand why the men in her life put her on their "Ick List" because of her attitude, and sense of entitlement.
Agreed haha I like a lot of her other videos and advice… but that’s one I cannot get behind!
This one is absolutely on-point. What she is doing, is actually forming a habit for "tracking the things she doesn't like"... This is a terribly destructive way to manage a relationship.
Agreed. One would meet people and pay attention mostly to negative things, and being so focused on tracking down negative stuff makes it difficult for one to notice positive things; we have limited mental capacity after all, spent too much mental resource on one part and there is less for others.
Sooner or later, one will only see people as a list of things that make you "ick" but not a list of things that you like.
Yeah she'll be super happy as soon as she finds the perfect man.... Lmao
It really seems like planning for failure. "Why'd you total the car??" "Oh, because I didn't like the color of the brakes, never have."
Learn when to walk away, gentlemen. Story for y'all: I had a thing going on with my coworker for a little while. We never got to date because she was going through some things. I respected it, but she still kept showing signs of interest. After a while, I found out she was talking to someone else. I wanted to remain as friends. I ended up getting Covid for 2 weeks, and not once she texted me to get better. However, prior to Covid, I met a nice girl (who's a lawyer), that takes time out of her day to text me back. She even wished me to get better from Covid. Said coworker has made no effort to ask how I've been since Covid, nor asks me anything about my personal life anymore. The lawyer at least makes an effort with me. You never know when things get better after a possible toxic relationship.
"Let's just be friends." (Translation: "I don't want a relationship with you, but keep the attention and gifts coming.")
@@khalaq2 I'm the one that said we can remain as friends because she was going through a break up. But on reflection, I dodged a bullet because now she treats me like a total stranger for no reason.
@@quaker1874 Yep, it sounds like you dodged a bullet.
@@khalaq2 thanks! The lawyer I met makes an effort to talk to me despite her busy schedule. We had a date recently and it was a lot of fun. I'm at work right now, and my coworker is totally ignoring me. It's whatever for me because I don't care about the coworker anymore now that I see her true colors.
@@quaker1874 why would ever date co worker they got be on the worst decisions ever you wonder why had problems at work for it kinda frowned upon dating you're co worker at work which can mess things up as reminder
I’ve worked on myself An incredible amount over the past five years. Getting rid of excess baggage, Meditating, really learning about who I am as a person, Finding my passions and goals, and i became really starting to be in tune with myself and comfortable in my own skin.
I’ve become much happier person from all of this. So I know I definitely took a foot in the right direction for myself however, For the first time in my life I am having a hard time finding women to date. Who would’ve thought? Seems like women have Much less interest in me now than when I had unresolved issues.
My biggest hangup is for the first time in life I know exactly what I want in a woman and know exactly what a healthy relationship should look and feel like. Finding emotionally available emotionally healthy women it’s like finding a needle in a haystack.
I've always struggled in the Dating Game for many of the Conclusions you drew. It's not gotten much better for me with age...
Facts. They want a guy to be everything they want. Without any effort on their part.
@@Mr.BigNate That's exactly right for many Females today.
Women do t want partners who love each other mutually
They wanted a replica of their fathers who love them unconditionally
Facts
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Great quote!
”Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Theodore Roosevelt
@@heisenbergkierkegaard3982 Thanks. I didn’t know who said it.
I think younger me needed to hear that. Didn’t ever date her, but it took me a long time to realize I was just being played when I was younger. Eventually I gathered the strength to know what I’m worth and now years later I have a wife and 2 children. ❤️
Well, now you know the reasons why they do it, guys, or at least 5 reasons, so, let me reiterate what you do about it.
1. Do NOT try to get back with her. You have just been shown specifically what you were to them. THAT is how it would go the next time.
2. Do NOT investigate why. If you do this, you are demonstrating that she DID matter to you. Be stoic. Stay in control of your feelings. Chances are, it'd just piss you off, anyway.
3. "Let's just be friends." NOPE!!! You don't need to be around someone you have feelings for so she can take advantage of that. Don't be an asshole about it.
4. Do not take her back. It is often the meat and drink of a bitch to wonder how her loss affected you. When she learns it didn't even break your stride, for some strange reason, it turns them on. They will try to tell you they made a huge mistake. Yup, and just leave it there. She deserves this.
5. Move forward. Do what YOU want to do. It takes a little practice, but it's ok to reflect on your time with her. There may have been lessons to learn, or good times you'll miss, but do not EVER mourn their loss from your life. Harden yourself, and be more selective next time, if you choose for there to be a next time. It may be un-Courtney Ryan-like for me to suggest this, always have your shields up. That said, do not lock phasers and begin firing. When I say "keep your shields up", this is a metaphor for "keep your head up, your shoulders back, and do NOT look down. As for "locking phasers..." Look up, acknowledge others, but do not stare or stare down. Confidence, not conflict.
Well said, thank you.
Good advice
Thank you for the advice brotha
Shields up. Always
The amount of women I've seen stay with men that cheat on them, emotionally abuses and plays games is amazing, fellas a woman is gonna be with you if she chooses to do so, don't feel the need to be this special guy for them. Ladies, don't get mad when you can't change a man, then realize YOU wasted your time with him.
100% facts. They will continue to get impregnated by the same cheater/abuser until HE is no longer interested. You will find all of these women on dating apps looking for something "serious". All of these women were on birth control btw.
Yea they stay when completely treated like dumpster garbage meanwhile this delusional cat lady is like ick his bed is the wrong color. Absolute delusion. These women gonna die alone.
My Ex actually HIT ME WITH the “ick” she kept a journal of my wrongs and things that transpired between us. Coming to find out she was just in love with her ex and sleeping with her friends and not ready for a relationship!
Man thats rough. I can't stand chicks with zero integrity
@@davidhunt9143 unlucky bro
Damn, this sounds almost exactly like what happened with a chick I was seeing
Sorry Bro, that sucks. I noticed you said she was sleeping with her friends. Goes back to that age old question whether men and women make good friendships. I sense a little manipulation on her part. Hang in there man.
I never heard of the ick before. That's fucked up
Note to everyone: if you want to go ahead with the whole, "ick", on someone to look for a person's blemishes, do not forget that the door swings both ways. A person whom you might like, might have an, "ick list", on you as well.
In the end, please treat someone as you want to be treated.
(which also means that you value and love yourself first)
This should be called top 5 reasons you avoided an asteroid in your life, and should be grateful.
Thank you. Most of the time these situations are actually a blessing in disguise
My list:
- Not sharing the same interests
- Not having what she wants in a guy
- Being too available
- Not having a own life
My list: other men
Or she was only talking to you in the first place, because of Boredom only.
- She has no interests
- She doesn't know what she wants in a guy
- Anything is always too available or too little available
- They think you have no life if you don't post random reels in instagram
Interesting topic. I think it's unreasonable to look for a perfect person. Rather acknowledge that people have flaws and you do too. There's obvious red flags that you should try to fix or distance yourself from, however, if you jump from relationship to relationship, you'll find out that everyone you find attractive has their issues. It's just a matter of which mix of issues you decide to accept and ultimately be their life long partner.
When my ex broke up with me, she told me it was because she wasn’t ready for a relationship and just wanted to be friends until then (called me when she was on her lunch break to do this). I understood and went with it.
Found out from her best friend that it’s because she cheated on me with her ex once he came back home for 2 weeks from being deployed in Hawaii. Plus that week when she broke up with me, she already went on a date that weekend.
Been tough recovering from the truth.
Love this channel for advice 🙏🏽
All guys need to practice this line “Friends? No thanks, I’ve got enough already”.
When it's all of a sudden and coming from nowhere...is because it's for somebody else.
I have never heard of this ick before but good thing I know now! Great vid Courtney!
🙌🏼❤️
"Fill in Guy"... yep, been there done that. I told the girl who used me in that fashion that she blew the chance to get to know a high-quality guy. Her loss.
I have had a couple of girlfriends come back to me, a few months after disappearing. I spoke with both of them when they came back each time, but decided not to get back together in either case. In both cases we only dated a short time at beginning. it was obvious they was dating other guys in-between and trying to decide. I just did not like being considered number 2 choice. The woman I did marry was about a couple of years later and she always kept me number one and played it straight, no games. However, after many years, I am facing dating again as we split up, and as an older guy with experience, so not entirely worried about how to date (I am not shy with women) just need a refresher course like listening to this channel for some solid tips for self improvement and how to romance a woman etc. Thanks Courtney!
Funny how people are "trying to reach perfection..." but it's just piling on the requirements to be perfect on someone else. Whilst being blind to their own faults, no less.
#2 is one of the most common. For a long time I was always the “attention guy” and that can kill a guy’s self esteem.
I relate with the “ick” because I was seeing someone who I found incredibly attractive and interesting up until I learned that she only eats fast food. This is not a joke.. she told me “all we eat at my house is fast food, nobody cooks”
When I finally went to her house her mom ordered papa John’s for dinner and earlier that day we had McDonald’s for lunch at our Uni.
I was grossed out lol
If she doesn't cook, don't deal with her. Lol I don't mind cooking for my woman, but once in a while, I'd like for my woman to make me a home cooked meal. 👍
@Whatever wow! You dodged a bullet there. Fast food once a week is totally reasonable. If she had that level of judgement she was not worth being with.
Gross. She is not gonna look good in a few years
Yeah that's gross
@@jleano609 yes I agree
All this crap is why I gave up on women. So much happier on my own.
Yes, it’s funny how all problems just disappear! More men should try going their own way.
ya but how does your wrist feel?
Not as good as my bank balance feels.
You know Courtney Ryan is way wrong when she says you don’t need closure and excusing ghosting. If you go out with a girl and spend a considerable amount of time and money with this person, the girl owes the guy at least a goodbye text if not a break up conversation. If there is abuse, then yes, I think this is an exception. But it’s very immature for someone to just ghost the other person. We are human beings with feelings, there is no excuse to not give someone a break up notice. I find women do this and they should be called out for it and closure is appropriate and mature way of letting someone down easy.
I agree. Too many women out there excusing that behavior because they "don't know how the guy will react" or he might bad mouth them or whatever. It's a weak stance. If you're at least a date or two in and it's not working out and the guy's not a shit-bag then you owe him the courtesy and the closure so he can move on with his life.
Agreed. Ghosting speaks volume about the character (or lack thereof) of the person doing the ghosting. It is an extremely immature and selfish justification of their ego and their emotional state, to deny closure between the other party (or both parties) and grow. Ghosting ruins the other person, especially if they were invested in the relationship.
I agree with everything you said completely! I think what Courtney meant was "you dont *NEED* anything from them to be happy"
Like, you can still live a great life even if they never give an explanation.
Ofc that doesn't make ghosting any less cowardly. But like, if someone ghost you, they're probably not that great of a person anyway, so who cares
Forget relationships , they are a figment of some religious zealots control freak mind . We as humans are seasonal creatures much like most other species on the planet . My advice is if it "flies , or floats , or phucks, just rent it !!!
She's a woman she thinks with emotions what do you expect
Excellent video and I learned a lot. I was struggling with why she didn't contact me. An abundance mindset is what I will maintain. Thank you Courtney
from my experience... many times it has to do with the involvement of a 3rd party and what I mean by this is that many times women value their friends and social circles more than any guy or sexual relationship ( because keep in mind, women are more attuned to emotional needs rather than sexual needs). so, her friends can convince her not to date nor get involved with a particular guy or try to give reasons or excuses to why she could do better or he is not a match for her. For example, a woman first likes a guy and is very excited and interested and gets to know the guy..... then she is so excited she tells all her friends or best friends; then maybe her friends or social circles do not like this particular guy, or they're jealous of him or they feel like she could do better, they could convince her to drop this guy; leave him alone and move on! This is one ugly reality of the dating scene many people do not like to admit nor talk about in general. This is the truth to why many women end up losing interested or end up moving on after they expressed interest. If the woman was not that interested in the first place, then I personally don't believe that she would waste her time in the first place!
In fact, Courtney, I would love you to do a video on why it is not a good idea to involve 3rd parties in your intimate/romantic sexual relationships or dating because 3rd parties can really be detrimental and breach the relationships!
This is facts, I have seen it first hand, good job at the details and articulating this common scenario
Yes is possible, but I believe a friend is not a judge but a confident, and your life is your life not somebody else or third party.
@@AbnerChamate You can say that… but friends do not always have the best interest at heart for yourself or lifestyle. Look at it like this, when you are dating someone.. Are you dating them? Or their friends, groups or social circles? Are you dating them? Or there coworkers/classmates/or neighbors? Everyone is different and compatibility is different. Allowing/involving friends/groups/social circles ( aka 3rd parties) in your relationships is basically giving away your relationship to other people and putting the power and control into other people’s hands! 3rd parties are always detrimental because there is always someone is who trying to control, someone who is jealous, or someone who is trying to harm,damage, ruin or breach the relationship. I remember back in the days, I was dating a woman and someone in her friend group became so jealous; she started making up rumors and lies that I was a dangerous/violent person and was planning to go on a shooting spree. Then she started to get as many people as possible to side with her and eventually caused the relationship between me and this girl to breach. Was it fair? No! Did I say or do anything wrong to the jealous 3rd party? No! So because of 3rd party is killed a perfect happy long term healthy relationship. This is the consequence of involving 3rd parties! It all could have been avoided if the girl didn’t inform or involve the 3rd party in the first place!
With how scientific guys have to be these days at getting the formula "just right" to even keep a woman's attention for longer that 15 minutes, we're going to have a generation of single people like there's never been before...
Bro forel they except u to be witty and constantly sweep them off their feet its ridiculous
Definitely
No, it's just the type of girls you are going after, stay off of dating sites.
Hasel Basil it’s not like it’s much better if you meet them at church, school, work, or Whole Foods. Women are women, and today’s women are touched by social media and feminism to a certain extent. It just is what it is.
@@shaunenwright7872 No, go out into the real world and you will see most women are different, the girls on these dating appts are not really interested in finding a guy they are just there for fun, it's a game to them, at least it is for the young ones.
I've been through such a ghosting recently myself and after watching this video, looks like a combination of factors 3 (not into you) and 5 (met someone else). Videos like this help keep such experiences in perspective. Barring some over-the-top behavior or clinginess on your part, that is not you, that is all them. Accept, process, move on.
At this point im confused and struggling to move on but hopefully things work out in the future
@@Randy-us1ufkeep watching these videos by Courtney and stay in the comments
She was never into you, but she gladly accepts the free food and drinks and you paying her credit card debt, haaaaaaa! xD
Yeah, they tell you they don't want to continue romantically; after you take them out and pay for the dates, shopping, extravaganza, contract, and miscellaneous fees, etc.
If you’re at all involved in a girl’s debt issues and you are not a financial professional hired by her for the purpose of addressing the problem, or you are not her husband, you have made a massive mistake.
@@GardNRailCrucible Exactly.
the fact that you agree to pay for credit cards is on you. lmfaooo losersss
@@dionivargas23 That's right. I know some guys who actually do this, LOL.
I used to be the attention guy. Whenever I suggested we spend some time together she'd be busy or couldn't make it. I continued on hoping that we'd hang out eventually but it never happened. I moved away and I never heard from her again. It sucks but I learned, not making that mistake again.
Yea it happens to the best of us
so basically, anything miniscule will lead to ghosting or losing interest. I literally set up a date with this girl in my gym she agreed, and then 5 days later when I asked if she was still down she just ghosted me.
Dodged a bullet!
Seriously, why do you guys think it is an appropriate time to hit on a girl when she's working out at a gym? She probably said yes just to get rid of you.
@@laurapendosa4967 so if your celeb crush hit on you in the gym you would dismiss him?
@@laurapendosa4967 lots of girls want to be approached even in the gym, maybe not for you because you’re ugly. That’s ok.
@@laurapendosa4967 hey Laura. From my experience it totally depends on the girl and can’t be generalized. Some girls secretly hope that a guy approaches her the right way, some other girls just want to develop their inner man and don’t give a fuck about other men. You see, it depends what is her internal priority.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." I know where you got it from.😀
My guy Hafeez!👊
All women do it and they always ask Is he really the best I can do? Couldn't there be a richer better provider? So frustrating as guys don't do this
I think it's way older quote
Yes, BMV 😈
Theodore Roosevelt
I don't usually comment, but I want to let you know that your content is so helpful and encouraging. I've been single for a long time now (not gonna get into it). But, It's really nice to know there are genuine women out there who do want a life long partner, and it gives me hope that I will find the person I can share my life with and have someone that I can take on life with as a team. Just wanted to leave a positive comment, and a thank you.
You’re so kind, thank you! Wishing you all the best 🤍
When a guy rejects a girl they can't stand it. It's so bad that some girls need 6 months of therapy to get over it. Remember guys it's okay if she
rejects you, but don't dare reject her!
So true
More double standards.
As men most of us need to understand the power of rejecting women. We need fo reject them A LOT more.. they need to get their ego checked. Build an attachment then reject her on purpose and make sure you keep a stream of new options flowing in. That's the only way you will ever gain power in your "relationships ". When she comes back she will appreciate you more. That's the hardest part for most of us to "get" women actually WANT YOU TO REJECT THEM.
@@rickterrance4981 I don't agree necessarily that women want me to reject them as much as they want to know that I 1. will stand up for myself when she/someone else decides to throw a lot of shade my way. 2. And the mature(not given to persistent emotionalism) woman will understand and appreciate me/you for giving her the space-time to 1. Remember who she is and what is important to her--same as you need with friends or hobby/project all your own.
For what it's worth, this is what I happen to believe.
Bruh reject tf out of her lol.
JUST FOUND YOUR PAGE LAST WEEK AND I'M HOOKED/ YOU ARE SPOT ON IN EVERYTHING I'VE SEEN. THANK YOU. I'M A BIG FAN. YOUR DELIVERY IS AWESOME AND YOU KNOW THE SUBJECT EVERY TIME.
she got the 'ick' - 1:00
you were the attention guy 5:22
she was never into you - 7:03
you were too clingy - 8:28
she met someone else - 9:49
she had narcisist disorder and disregard every bullshit here was mentioned,
its not you the problem,its her ,move on.
The best thing about this is most definitely the comments. A wealth of knowledge right there !
If someone disappears on you it’s because that person is a deplorable human being
I'm now subscribed. You get it, about things. All of what you said needed to be heard.
With the "ick" part, people shouldn't be doing the "ick" thing in general, let alone in dating. One of my pet peeves is when people do the "ick" thing, at all.
"Attract the right person for you." Good line. Not just the right person, but the right person "for us."
Ghosting? Disappearing on anyone is ghosting. Ghosting anyone is just rude. The only justification is if she has good reason to worry about her safety.
Yeah Courtney missed the mark here which is unusual for her. It’s not about someone being obligated to like you, it’s about having common decency and respect for the other person.
I agree. Ghosting is rude, immature, and worthy of contempt.
Sometimes it's not possible to be straightforward with someone because they're a narcissist, where even letting them down gently, it's often better to quietly slip away.
@@MH-cv5ye sure that’s one of the few exceptions but I definitely feel like most of the time it’s for no good reason
I’m a man. I ghost women because I see through them. Women and sex to me is something out of a science fiction movie. It looks cool and fun to be apart of, but in the end, the final frontier was made in a Hollywood basement.
In real life, I work out. That’s my sex. I play video games. That’s my version of cuddling.
I play the sims. That’s family life for me.
Life doesn’t have to be that complicated
I just wanna say, I feel like I was getting life advice - not just dating advice. Thank you.
Courtney, once again comes with more HEAT! Guys sometimes it’s you and sometimes it isn’t. Actually most times it isn’t you. DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. That girl was not the right one for you. Continue to grow, don’t hold a grudge and live life to the fullest. Everything will fall into place
I feel like this type of advice could be given to single mothers just as well.
a note from a life long tweeter man... looking back 68 years, i can say you are pretty damn good at this...
This happened to me Wednesday with a girl I’ve been seeing 4 months ago. Best girl I’ve ever gone out with. I’m not obsessing over it but damn does it hurt especially after having given this one my all which I never do.
That's your problem... You gave her your all, while she only gave you about 25%. Never do that. Have your own things/hobbies. Put yourself first, then give her your time.
@@tfkvng3187 100%. Pedestalizing talk
@@jleano609 first off no she gave a lot of effort back. Second I’m making an objective statement. She had her flaws but she was by far the highest quality woman I’ve ever gone out with (which is admittedly a low bar). There’s nothing wrong with admitting that. When you’re trying to make something like a relationship that quickly becomes an LDR work you have to give it your all or it’s guaranteed to fail.
And I’m beyond busy on my own time. Don’t make assumptions regarding someone you don’t know @tfgamer
@@LadiesmanB007 LDR? Low value and best avoided, as you’ve found out.
@@LadiesmanB007 I would bet at least 95% of all LDR's fail. It's not worth the effort unless it's really temporary.
It's so sad to see these ladies keeps on coming up with things that will keep them single for good. First, it was a job, a car and a house was good enough for a man to find a woman, then need a high value men, then the 6 6s and now the ick list. The pool of men is getting smaller by the day and they don't even know it. Also they only have a limited supply of eggs in a lifetime. Their only/primary traits that attract men is also a limited time offer. Their philosophy of men is also discouraging them to look at a brighter side of things so it will help them be more positive and help them select a man. Please ladies you are digging yourself a very very deep hole and pretty soon no one will get you out of it. The trends are already showing in a negative direction. SMH. Great video!
The ick list is the worst piece of advice. You have to look for the good in people. If you are constantly looking for all the bad things in people you will actually absorb all that bad energy and you will actually become that person, so beware.
Totally agree!
Not only that, but if you are looking for something, you'll find it whether it's there or not.
Fearful Avoidants often do that, because when the relationship gets boring, they freak out because they think it’s all supposed to be like the honeymoon stage. Or they look for qualities they wish they had in themselves in a partner , and it freaks them out and they leave
Why she lost interest in u? Cause she has about 13 more options lmfao 😂
More like 1000 DM in my case
Yup. Like a kid in a candy shop she don't know what she wants..
Yeh what does that tell you about guys. They need OPTIONS.
Her other is called: Dill Doe!!
bro so basically it's not you, she can dislike you for anything. Don't date anyone and just make money. That's how it is nowadays anyways.
Lol. Very true 👍
Workout. Hang out with dogs. Play video games. Watch porn when the urge comes. Smoke marijuana and drop acid. Just do that.
I'm not going to change myself for anyone but me. I change myself to improve myself, but for no one else
Focussing on the negative brings in more negative. I think if you are keeping a list of reasons to leave rather than a list of reasons to stay you'll eventually talk yourself into leaving.
If I learned anything about a girl disappearing on you, or about any breakup in general, is that you will almost NEVER know the real reasons why. That's one of the reasons why it hurts so much. On the other hand, keep in mind that the real truth might have had hurt you even more :-)
Neediness, being desperate and having saying yes to everything she says are the biggest down sides to be attractive. She is not going to develop any feelings for you.
she is honest & unbiased. i wish good things honest people & vis-a-vis.
Thank you for this as always! Had some woman ghost before in the past, but it's okay just working on myself and these videos really do help appreciate all that you do.!
Happy early Halloween by the way! 😁🔥👊💙🙏
That’s the attitude I like! 🙌🏼
@@CourtneyRyan thank you so much.! Means tons.! 🙏🙏
You were ghosted because you have low sexual marketplace value. If you were Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling, you would not have been ghosted. Simple as that.
Even those guys get ghosted too for sure
@@mauriciobr5574 so true they do we just don't hear about it haha
Solid, timeless advice. This why I keep coming back to this channel.
I like this subject you talked about. I learned to accept when a girl doesn’t like me? This really helped me out cristine
I really like the way you approach dating advices. It makes total sense. Thank you! Keep up the good work
She lost interest because she keep her Bumble or other dating app profile up and something better came along. It used to be that you would ask a girl out and a few weeks might go by before another guy asks her out or you might even become "a couple" after you "seal the deal". On the dating apps, they get asked out everyday by multiple guys and so they can't commit. Are men the same? I'd say most men aren't as picky as women and don't get as many matches. For women, they get 100 likes - 5 guys they like back. For men, its give a 100 likes and they might get 5 back. Thats probably being generous too. For Chads, its the opposite.
Bro I ain’t joking when I say this but I knew a girl, not very attractive I’d say 4/10 tell me she got over 50 likes and it was hectic…. I’m like yo HOW mann
Yep I mean apps are crazy I don't think I am bad looking I work out etc but get few matches. And vast majority are nothing special at all. I think it's the point of working too hard, better to just focus on myself and level up and if a girl comes along later then great. Still on apps but limit the time I spend on them.
I don't usually agree with you but I appreciate you putting your input on this topic. I have constant anxiety about this and never get closure or answers about what I might have done for things to turn cold. So it often leaves me feeling very rejected and sad. I do think women are picky about the wrong things. It reminds me of the show Seinfeld and the things he would complain about that just don't matter when finding a person of substance. Alot of the girls in your video the other day gave me that vibe when you were giving them examples to rate a guy 1-10. To me things like that don't matter as long as she is cute and we share the same values and life decisions I'm very content.
You are killing it with these types of videos Courtney
‘Comparison is the thief of joy’. So true.
"ICKS"?! Bruh, everybody has faults and if you can't accept you're not perfect, you will always be disappointed.
"Keep your expectations low, and you will never be disappointed."
- Kratos, the God of War
Fascinating. One more reason why I'm glad I'm at an age/place where I don't have to deal with this. An "ick list," really? If I found out someone was compiling a list of minor flaws on me, I'd drop her immediately...if not sooner.
I agree completely about the concept of "closure." If it's over, and it didn't land you in divorce court, *it's over.* It doesn't matter why... sometimes she sincerely couldn't even put it into words. Oftentimes, people are looking for a list of reasons so they can "sell" continuing the relationship. They're going to "overcome objections..." winding up being strung along, used, and feeling even worse after having performed the 12 Labors of Hercules (major simping) and still gettin' dumped. Don't do it. Move on, live life. And don't be a backup plan. If she comes back, her first choice didn't work out. You're a place holder til she meets someone she likes, she's looking, and when she finds him... she'll "just want to be friends" again. Send her on her way (FTR, I'm aware that guys do this. My perspective is that of an oldish man who didn't date dudes, 😂)
Last... I like your channel, "CR!" You're very wise. You're not, like, a 2000 years old and very well disguised, are you?😏😍
Honestly, social media has ruined dating for the majority of people for a variety of reasons. Courtney is one of the few women I'd actually take TH-cam advice from because she's beautiful, has a nice voice, seems to genuinely try to help people, men and women alike, and tries her best to be as neutral as possible. She won't sugarcoat, but she keeps her content pg to pg13 rated and I respect that even though I'm more of an R rated person😆
Exactly why I follow her
Courtney - great comments as always - I agree. But at the end of the day, the best remedy, no matter what, is always the good old "develop your self-esteem" - love yourself to the point you really don't care whether or not she stopped liking you. Move on! When you love yourself you will generate such a great vibe that you'll end up attracting the ones that actually are in synch with you and that's when life gets so much better
That's why in this case for security reasons to always have a back up and then some. Dating one girl and hoping it's going to work because you are in to her is not always a must. Dating quite a few hot women sure helps. This way your not upset when the first girl loses interest. You move on and take it as it's her loss. 😁
"Comparison is the thief of joy". That's quite good
I was dumped by my ex after 3 plus months out of "nowhere" meaning no prior drama at all. She literally went from " want to quit my job and find a house to move into with you to I've lot all the spark and think we should split two weeks later. Her only reasons : lack of experimentation in the bedroom and me disagreeing with her feministic viewpoints. As a result she left me and didnt look back. I was left in complete shock, but honestly now I know that this woman simply wasnt mentally healthy enough to be with due to her depression, drug use and very negative and narcissistic tendencies. I'm lucklily in a much better place today
@Jay Bee I'm smiling and shaking my head over such a comment coming from someone who has no insight and didn't know her or me. In no way was this woman mentally stable and if you had been in my place, you'd understand why. It wasn't up to me to fix her as the neurotic-psychotic borderline she clearly was. If anyone was a sexist, it was her, don't get that twisted. 3rd/4th wave feminists mostly feel superior to men and behave like narcissistic men. There's actually plenty of evidence behind that. Don't believe that then follow Prof Sam Vaknin and you'll be suriced. Nonetheless, I'm in a better position now because I took responsibility for myself by standing up for myself, not letting her run me over. Only a submissive slave would accept what was behind her beautiful mask. I've dated several nice women since then, who've been submissive, in their natural feminine and had no modern day feministic beliefs. A woman who disrespects men does not deserve my respect.
Feminism views and depression. Two very big red flags.
No need to worry about anything just satisfied your self
I'm 73 and have never been in an abundance situation. However, although I've never been needy ( Ithink), I've always been in a situation where choices are severely limited. Dating on-line is as bad at my age as any; the pool is limited and the lack of replies to messages or being blocked from sending a further message is crushing, and I rarely last for more than a few weeks before feeling so bad about myself that I withdraw.
Sorry about this hopefully things will get better
#2 is so real. Women I’ve met love getting attention and it sucks because I am genuinely am interested in getting to know them. I get women can be busy, but she doesn’t see me as a prize.
About this "ick". It seems to have existed since the beginning of the time, and it's one of the reasons why I've been hesitant about talking to girls. Most girls seemed like there was no room for error with them, and one wrong move could spell my doom. That's why I've also referred to such girls as "land mine girls". Now that I'm an adult, I just worry about "land mine women".
I have reactions on a couple of points that Courtney made and then add one of my own. The first point she made about girls being highly, irrationally critical is true in many cases. The thing about the color of sheets is beyond anything that I have ever conceived of, but women in general are much more prone to fault-finding than most men even though some men can be hyper-critical. This tendency has merit in that a mother needs to be very closely attentive to her small child's health and the child's emotions especially considering that the child may not be old enough to be able to articulate what is wrong or may not even be old enough to speak. The wife can discern when her husband needs to be comforted or encouraged when he is not willing to speak of what is troubling him. The man's lack of clear communication with his wife might be due to his being inarticulate about his feelings or a fear that showing vulnerability will diminish him in the eyes of his wife. One big reason that men stray from a wife is for this reason. Another woman is able to read these emotions and then reach out to him and encourage him when his wife fails to do so. Then the emotional bond that is created leads to infidelity because the mistress is more of a wife to him than his actual wife. So, we want women to pick up on things that can help the child or that can help the husband, but when she notices things that grosses her out or disappoints her as she might read something that is not intended into a stray remark (or something is as picky and irrelevant as colors of sheets), then that fault-finding tendency can become very destructive, both early and later on in a relationship.
The other point that Courtney raises and has raised before is "clinginess" or being "desperate." I am not sure exactly what constitutes these qualities. What is the difference between being devoted to someone and loving to be around them a lot and being clingy? My hunch is there are a few issues that need to be untangled here. First, men fall for a girl faster than the girl responds to them in most, but not all, cases. Men and women are not alike. They are significantly different and this difference comes out in how fast romantic love fastens ahold of a man or he feels sexual attraction. There is also in men a much clearer train of thought in sex and romance. Men set clear goals and then go for them. They tend not to think in ambiguous terms. This is not a bad thing. For instance, on another comment on another of Courtney's videos, I told of watching a WWII soldier featured in a documentary falling in love with a French girl in the middle of a battle with German soldiers right after D-Day. He promised to come back for her and he did. They married and remained married to her death decades later. If he had not fallen for her in that moment and been motivated to find her again, their marriage would not have taken place. The girl did respond to his love and accepted it. In my own case, whenever I have fallen in love with a girl, except with one girl, they have all responded favorably very quickly. In this other case, it took a year to get into a dating relationship with her but then she was as "clingy" with me as I was with her.
There are two keys to what is perceived as "clingy" vs. "devoted." One is the mutuality of the rate of falling for the other person and the other, more important one, is the degree of connection that the two people have. If the man has really fallen in love with the girl, then the rate does not matter. She is likely to respond favorably at some point. That does not mean that you will marry if there are other complications in both persons' situation that arise or the other problem arises that I will mention below. But she will not reject the man for being too devoted if the man truly loves her because the bond is there. This bond is beyond the biological or material and is a spiritual union of two souls as well as their bodies later on. To overlook this spiritual bond misses the entire point of love. Consider Plato's *Symposium* for a penetrating discussion of erotic love. The problem arises here if the man has not fallen in love with the girl and is either only interested in sex or simply does not feel this supernatural bond with her. Then she correctly rejects him since the relationship is not the ultimate one and she does not feel this bond because it does not exist. The man seems "too clingy" because she does not feel this intimate bond with him.
Here is the second issue related to "clinginess." But to be very clear, the man is the one who initiates a love relationship, not the woman. If the woman does so, then that usually will not work for two basic reasons. The first is that the man's natural tendency is to focus on compatibility while the woman's tendency is to value complementarity. Many men, but not all, want a woman he can be close to in every way. Some women do not value this as highly as do other women. The difference here that ties into this natural difference also has to do with two forms of marriage-1. monogamy 2. polygamy. In monogamy, the two are not only sex partners but lovers and best friends so that they are as Aristophanes depicts romantic love as two halves of the same person that is described in Plato's *Symposium.* This is romantic love or Eros joined with Storge (caring love) and Philia (friendship). Then we have polygamy. There is usually no love in polygamy. When there has been such as in the Bible in the story of Jacob and Rachel but with Jacob being tricked into also marrying Rachel's sister, Leah, Jacob truly loves Rachel (notice that he falls in love with her on first sight) but is saddled with Leah. Jacob later loves his two sons with Rachel but seems to care little for the other children with Leah. Leah was devastated by Jacob not loving her and the sons of Leah later plotted to kill Joseph and then settled for selling him into slavery out of jealously. In other cases throughout history, when love is shown in polygamy it results in one of the wives plotting to kill the other one. So for these reasons and others, men in polygamous marriages do not show love or really feel love for his wives. It's all about sex and provision. When a woman does not really want a man to be so close to her emotionally regardless of how long she has known him, the woman has opted for a polygamous version of marriage. Some women might very well be more temperamentally inclined to this impersonal, distant form of relating to men in sexual relationships. They simply do not find monogamous love appealing. And some men are not inclined to feel devotion to any one woman. So, it might not be that the woman has not found the right man who loves her. It might be that she prefers impersonal sex and distant, cold men. Even though polygamy is not openly practiced in Western Civilization, the innate tendency for some is to the basic dynamics of polygamy, even if there is only one wife.
The point that I want to add to Courtney's list of reasons that a female might bail out unexpectedly is fear of being hurt based on a previous relationship going bad. I have had this happen to me at least two times. I can infer one girl who I was open to loving doing me this way very likely based on her being deeply hurt by someone when she was in college. I had held back my feelings because I sensed something was amiss with her. It would take too long to provide details here. The other one is more explicit and simpler to describe. I was dating a very good looking, intelligent girl in the aftermath of the girl I just touched on suddenly erupting in anger and ending the relationship with me. We had been going out a few times a week for about two months, when I called her and asked her if she wanted to see a Broadway show that I had just heard advertised on the radio. She said that she could not go on such short notice-it was the next night. I said okay and then said I would see her Saturday for our already scheduled date. A few minutes later, she called me back and said that she never wanted to see me again. I was taken aback. I asked what was wrong. She said something did not seem right. She was very evasive. Then after I kept on questioning her, she said in a deeply emotional hurt tone, "I dated this guy for seven years and he would not marry me." That was it. She had told me about that experience a few times previously. I was the first man to get going with her after this breakup with this guy she had hoped to marry. I concluded that she was feeling emotionally vulnerable to me and was afraid of being hurt again. I replied that that was not me and I could not help what someone else did to her, but she kept on repeating the same line in a very hurt voice. I never saw her again. But she was right to sense that while I liked her and was attracted to her, I was not in love with her. So, in many of these cases where someone disappears, it might be that they are open to the man but are fearful of being hurt again by someone they feel that they would like to open their heart to.
This has happened 3 times this year. Had great conversations and thought there was something then nothing.
Conversations in person?
@@wyleecoyotee4252 2 in person and one over the phone
If she didn't liked you she didn't liked you. I also had great conversations, and only got to hang out with 1 of them. You either like her or not, there must be some physical attraction also
When I feel love I Give Love even though I didn't receive it. It happens in a relationship unless or until if we are probity to ourselves not others. Have a Great Day Ms.
The "Ick List" sounds like the closure the creator uses the justify dump/ghosting or expedting being dumped/ghosted in the most unproductive way possible.
you're actually very genuine to both guys and girls. awesome
"It's not going to work out." What does it mean to work out? Sounds like determining the end before you get to the middle or the beginning.
Hi Courtney 👋
How are you doing today ?
Thank you very much for this video, I finally got to understand that she ghost me out because one of your five reasons could of taking place in our fresh relationship !!
Thanks and God bless you Courtney !!
Women are truly flooded with attention.....on the rare occasions i do get 'a swipe' on a dating app they either unmatch me instantly, never message me and if i message them first they ignore me. I don't know if this is the same with other guys ?
Anyway i went full monk, can't be arsed with women.
Id say it is. They did a study on this. Women only swipe right on a very small percentage of men. If you are not a top tier guy, which most men are not, dating apps are a complete waste of time.
Same. I've totally lost interest in the apps now
the amount of options women have is crazy! the problem is also made worse by social media and dating apps
Some sobering stats for you:
Rich Cooper had a guy on his show who had slick social media, great text game etc, and of the 240(ish) matches he received on dating apps only 18 agreed to meet him in person.
This is why getting out and about meet people is the way to go. You have already cleared the hurdle of getting girls in front of you. SM and apps are nothing but a mechanism for women to waste a lot of your time. Even if they show signs they're into you getting them to meet you is another thing altogether; it's so easy for them to flake and usually they do.
The most successful business people are the ones who tried and failed enough times until it worked out for them.
The guys most successful with women have probably been rejected more than the guys who can't stomach rejection.
Build build build 👊
Ok, question: if "one-itis" is never ok, then how is anyone ever supposed to get to the point of a committed relationship and marriage?
One-itis is only a thing when they aren’t reciprocating your time, effort and energy. Your partner should be reciprocating those things, so it’s not one-itis haha
If you have not noticed, most relationships are failures. Furthermore, almost 50% of marriages end in divorce, with women filing for divorce in 80% of the cases. Even in the marriages that continue, alot involve cheating and unhappiness. You really need to get out of the blue pill mindset dude. Its 2021, not 1950.
Even in marriage and LTR it’s important to retain an abundance mindset and remain attractive and capable of sourcing other women, even if you don’t. It will keep your SO attracted
@@jleano609 As Jordan Peterson says: Be atractive to the highest number of women you possibly can, but pick just one. I think female atention is just the way life has to tell "youre doing it right".
Exactly!
I have realized a lot of times that a woman has a lot of insecurity and seeks validation and ego-boosting and when I don't give that to her, she feels bad about her self and I reflect that self-doubt to them (mirror empath here) and they no longer like to hang out with me.
A similar thing I notice happen numerous times through life is that a woman will start to get to know things about me and how I am, how moral-based or intelligent or emotionally strong, and feel insecure in such a way that she judges herself in comparison to what I've been through, know, how I 'stand' on things, and feels 'lesser' and like she doesn't 'deserve' me/I'm 'too good' for her. I can sense this happening during conversations, and it's beyond my power to do anything about and a sign that she still needs to work on herself.
I think a lot of times guys who really are great partners for women, scare them off because trauma and insecurity and fears (even such that 'this is too good to be true' or 'he is so good someone better than me will come along and take him and I don't want that worry' sorts of things)
I've seen at least a few times you give advice to guys who message you about 'she's just not into you if she says XYZ' and I think these sorts of scenarios I've been through could very well be the sort of thing the guys are experiencing and you never mention it.
New quote on my dating app; "I volunteer as tribute!"
I discovered you about a week ago and really enjoying the videos. Thanks for some great wholesome advice!
I really liked these points you covered beautifully with consistent information and gave ways to tackle this problem
Hi Courtney. Thank you for making these videos. I have learned quite a bit. Your videos are always of excellent quality and very helpful.