Summary: 1. Have your own passions 2. Improving your self esteem 3. Stop worrying 4. Put down the phone 5. Take things slow Thanks for another great video!
And don't forget the most important: Make sure you're with people who are actually interested in you. Being with those who are not just makes you feel unwanted and it's one of the worst feelings in the world.
Just make sure that you have your own life full of hobbies, activities, and your own friends. If your partner ends up being busy with their life and does not include you, you have your own life to enjoy without having to be upset because that partner won't be part of your life for few hours. A relationship should have separate lives and be a bonus to your life.
I lack friends. My circle has gotten smaller and smaller to the point I'm ending up hanging out by myself on every occasion. A lot of girls get turned off by this, but I'm the process of going to law school next year, so a new circle will be born. But in the meantime I only have my job that I hate and trying to make a budget to join a fitness group.
They will bitch at you for having hobbies that don’t include them or that they don’t find interesting and then they’ll leave you because your boring and want to spend time with her. Cant fucking win
this sound like growing apart right , here a good tipp, my X long term girlfriend is now a whole athlete when all she do in a relationship is sleep hahahaha hey chase your dreams my people , Keep Love and Smilee , you never know when the person you come by need to see a smile , a smile represent live lovee goals mannn u feell mee
Its very difficult for a guy when he meets an attractive women not to get carried away with crazy ideas of the future and if you are too eager, non of the ideas are going to happen because shes going to run a mile. This happened to me recently because she was really into me and i got too comfortable and broke all the rules even though i knew what i was doing was wrong, and guess what...shes gone!
I hear ya, man. I did the same thing recently as well. Broke all the rules, and lost her in the end. Made myself look like a damn fool trying to convince her not to leave. Worst thing is, I never make these mistakes. But, I was too into this one chick and lost my head. You live and learn, I guess. 🤷🏻♂️
@@ericv5435 woman are attracted to charactor, get a hair cut and some good clothes and hit the gym! forget dating sites and stop feeling sorry for yourself
@@crash7098 well i didnt do the chasing thing, i just let her go hoping she might reach out, but recently the little whatsapp profile pic dissapeared ( stomache turning) haha. oh well onwards and upwards.
@@agee7777 I stopped using dating apps a long time ago, I go to the gym, I dress better than I used to, and I got a haircut recently that women complimented me on.
I also struggle with insecurity, my ex cheated on me, showed up to a party with the new guy a week later and had the nerve to introduce me to him to twist the knife. Broke my confidence and made me question my self-worth. These videos are helping me get back on my feet. Thanks Courtney.
I had the same experience where my Ex cheated on me and bringing her new boyfriend to my place. Like she was trying to humiliate me. But I’ve moved on as I know my self worth
Had a deep conversation with my highschool crush last night about life and decided to test the waters a little. Turns out she’s felt the same way but was waiting for me to make the first move. Your channel has helped me grow myself so much within the last year of watching, without it there’s no way I’d be able to pick up on her hints. Thanks
I’ve personally struggled with this for a long time. Neediness, oneitis, insecurity, you name it. Not just with women, but also my career. I see people I went to university with who are married and have the type of job I want. That at times has made me feel inadequate, a failure. I will tackle this problem head on and pave my own path in this world. Thank you Courtney for the advice!
@@BlackHawk09999 I’m 30 gonna be 31 next month and still struggle with this shit. It’s so hard to not be needy and insecure about anything. I’m my own worst enemy
Videos like this are an affirmation that I'm going in the right direction. I just wish I would have understood this 15 years ago. Better late than never.
I didn't realise I'd become the needy one. Already being low on friends I went through a stage where I stopped catching up with them, then the only one left in my life was my wife & without realising it I pushed all my neediness on to her. The worst part is the more attention you want, then less you will get, which just feeds the problem.
@@swatimishra3082 All I can suggest doing is force yourself to go out and do things you like to do. And I mean force yourself. You won't want to but you need to. This is especially hard if you have to do them alone. The hardest part to leaving the house. Once you're out there doing it, you'll have fun and be glad you did it.
Really, meeting people to date should be a social habit, not so much a primary purpose. The ironic thing is, being out in the world every day accomplishing real goals (not dating goals) is the very thing that will draw new people toward you, rather than you chasing other people.
@@GoneCarnivore Yeah sometimes. Depends on the situation. I think if your happy with your life as a man you should approach. You got nothing to lose as long as you dont waste your time chasing. Make it quick and get out
“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” Emerson said that about life in general, but I think it applies perfectly to dating. Self-confidence will always be the most attractive personality trait.
I love that you share your personal growth through some of these vids (thank you, please always do that)...and the balance between, ‘have a little grace’ and, ‘show up for yourself.’ That balance is important, it can’t be just one or the other.
Do you really think by watching her videos, following all the advice she gives and showering her with compliments will increase your chances of getting her or a girl like her?
@@Mogamishu about as relevant as if I asked you if you really thought that commenting on other people’s comments (as you have been, and not just mine) was going to make you more liked. Exactly.
It's highly unlikely you'll attract Courtney (she has a boyfriend), but it might attract a woman of higher quality. There used to be a bunch of dating gurus during the last decade that wrote books and even starred in TV shows about how to attract women and get sex from them, and while their methods were actually pretty effective they usually resulted in getting low quality women. If you just wanted sex from them, it was no big deal,but you wouldn't be able to sustain a healthy relationship from those women.
Courtney Ryan is the wisest coach (especially for her age) I have ever come across. As a 39 year old male trying to redefine himself, I feel truly blessed to have found this channel. I am so thankful for you Courtney 🙏
I agree with these. Everyone at some point has been insecure(Especially when dealing with past Traumas, Toxic situations/Relationships, cheating, etc.) But it's what we do about those insecurities that we can have a Great relationship, not only with someone, but yourself as well.
Courtney I just love your videos, sometimes we just need a swift kick in the butt. Seeing it from a womans perspective really helps, It's hard to be a man or woman in our society. Your advice is awesome... Keep up the great work 😁
Thank you. Lost my girlfriend of 10 years. Trying to learn what I did wrong and it seems like all of these were the issue. This is the first video that gave me the answers I needed. Sincerely, thank you.
This is true! How are you supposed to expect someone to enjoy being with you when you don’t enjoy being with yourself? I learned this not too long ago. You never chase, you always attract 💯
First of all can we all appreciate that green? Second of all I love that you include yourself in these videos as someone who is willing and needs to grow. It's nice to see that from others. Thank you for your videos. Stay blessed everyone 🙏🏾
Such a great video tbh, I cannot stop praising you, it totally sums up my current situation. This is my scenario with my friend. I think having a social life is also beneficial where your life will not revolve around one person (including both male and female whether friend or girlfriends).
I definitely get excited and can maybe come off as needy when connecting with someone but I do have a lot of hobbies and eventually I do balance it out if the relationship progresses. I just express my genuine interest but am also understanding if someone is busy but if they like you back they will make time so if it’s just excuses to not hang out or talk eventually then move on time. I am an introvert as well so being alone is ok for me but I do really appreciate and sometimes crave genuine human connections but that takes time and is not so easy to find in the big city. I do also answer my people pretty quick regardless if it’s a romantic interest or not. Idk how people can not answer someone for a couple of days when even at my busiest, I find the time to respond within a couple of hours or within that day, most likely that just means you are low on the priority list.
I used to be this way when I very first started dating around. You will learn overtime and you will point out the signs that Courtney mentions in her video. Once you have your own passions, all the other things will fall into place because you’re busy doing what you love. For me it’s reading, cooking, meditation, video games, working out, learning a new skill. I am always busy nowadays because my life has substance. Do not and I repeat do not make your potential relationship interest, YOUR ENTIRE LIFE that shit will fucking backfire on you faster than a clogged muffler.
I wonder which is more common; A needy/clingy person being someone younger that haven't got the experience and their own thing going yet, or someone a bit older that have failed a few times and is afraid that "time is running out" for them?
I have a lot of financial opportunity at such a young age. I have a car, a healthy family, good friends, a functioning routine and I’m thankful for all these things. I can smoke at home and just chillax. I have a very easy going and happy life
5 things what you mentioned are actually 5 million things to make a perfect-happy-confident successful life. You're just incredible and I thank you from my bottom of heart.
Amen, you've described myself a few years ago, all those things are huge red flags but when you have misconceptions it's easy to believe they're normal or at least ok, but as I grow up I understand all you said. "you may want a partner not a creep needy man who need contant emotional reasurement"
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it and I made a promise to put 30min aside a day to exercise and instead of taking the elevator to my office I take the stairs instead. So far it’s been helping me with my self esteem ✌🏽❤️✊🏽
I find Needy and Clingy Attractive!!! OBSESSION is another story. i'm not attracted to some one that Legit needs 0% of me in their day life. that's what i'm looking for in a relation ship, i need some one that gives value to me. that look me in the eyes with Passion, someone that reminds me that i'm important to them, my self esteem is enough to live a happy life, but i want to enjoy life, and for that i need that person to be Needy and Clingy!
I think guys need to stop qualifying themselves.The fastest way a woman loses respect is when you change yourself to suit her.Like if on a date or in a relationship,she says she hates running,don’t start bashing running all of the sudden.
Thank you for the informative video. The biggest one I struggle with I guess is stalking my ex on social media. Seeing when she is online and thinking about who she could be talking to. I really think that woman imprinted me on a psychological level or something. You are right Courtney that the only thing that will take your mind off of that is doing other things everyday, like staying productive building things or working out in the gym.
I dated a needy woman for a short time - a very short time. Her behavior drove me crazy. Needy men are just downright pathetic. Great content Courtney - you are wise beyond your years. Take care and good luck, and I look forward to your future videos!
@@Mogamishu you can listen to someone whilst also appreciating they look good. The new outfit colour is a novelty for this video, Courtney delivering truthful and insightful content is not. Thats consistent across everything she does.
Your so intelligent! I liked the self accountability and making one promise to yourself a day. I’ve learned the more you focus on yourself and wellbeing the happier you are.
Last girl rejected me. I started working out - doing calisthecis. But just to workout, not doing skills. Got rid of all social media, just left FB for Spotify And most important which I think helped a lot. Seamen Retention
Your so easy to listen to- girls like you make me shyer the more accomplished and well spoken! Lack in conversation skills and girls I want pass by way to often
I would think that I had low self esteem but it wasn’t like that when I first met her. She tore me down in a manipulative controlling way and later found out about narcissist. She was the clingy one who just wanted admiration and validation. It helped a lot to realize that I allowed another person to tear me down and she was simply unhealthy. Only healthy relationships for now on. Also ya’ll should delete Snapchat, it doesn’t help anyone in any way shape or form.
It’s hard, putting someone else’s life above your own feels like the right thing to do, it is selfless and requires sacrifice. However I find that it causes more harm than good when done too often. Never lose sight of yourself!
Thank you Courtney, I still got a lot to learn myself but this video I felt has helped me a bit. Right now, I really like a guy friend at work and we talk often in and outside of work. And I don't want to become too attached or clingy and ruin things, he's a really nice person, not just to me but other people as well. I think I should breathe, and take things slow. And being too needy or clingy is a huge turn off.
I approached this girl in a coffee shop. I introduced myself and asked her how she was doing. I was asking her open ended questions and she was giving me thorough answers and smiling. After talking for like 10-15mins I then asked her if she wants to hangout sometime, and she said “I don’t really know you and have to get to know people first. But if I see you around sometime, I’ll say hi” What does that mean?? I was so confused and thought the convo was good
Kudos for putting yourself out there and giving it a shot. Seriously. Now, to answer your question: If you ask vague questions, you get vague answers. You gotta clearly communicate it’s a date. Specificity and intent are what matters. Don’t ask to “hang out.” Hanging out is actually more familiar and intimate than a date! Dates are public, can be easily exited, and have far less stakes. Also, asking someone on a clear date is more flattering and shows initiative. I would recommend something along the lines of: “Listen, I’m glad I met you. I’d love to continue this over dinner. How about this Friday?” 1. Acknowledge/ them 2. Specify it’s a date 3. Suggest a time frame
It means she rejected you for a shallow reason or for something you didnt mention in the story or was just milking you for attention. All three are common, especially the last one because everyone thinks their a queen so they need to waste some random guys time so they can validate themselves and their inflated egos.
Another quality video, which is why I for one keep coming back. 100% agree with having your own intestests. I'm big into whiskey for example. I have over 20 bottles at home of various types. In case you're wondering, I limit myself to two drinks at a time and never on days when I have to work. In various circles I've become known as the whiskey guy. People have come to be for advice on it or have shown me recent purchaces things like that. My wife doesn't like whiskey. She's got nothing agaisnt it, but it's just not her thing. She also doesn't disparage me, my hobby. Being able to have different interests is key in our relationship. We may be married but we're also our own persons as well. By focusing on each other our marriage is made stronger, especially when hard times come.
Courtney ! The problem is some people don't have good face to show the confidence and secure. Don't have good an body language to show all those things. I'm one pf them I'm very confident man sociable but my face and body language are naturally show other things i don't know why!
Much needed video; it saved me from doing something needy today. Can you make a video on how to handle breakups and how to respectfully break up with someone if the relationship didn't make sense anymore?
Me and a girl chatted for a month met up once and set up plans on 3 different occasions. I was often busy but I would reply within a few hours of her messages. She flaked on me 3 different times before I took the hint. I spent a decade isolating myself so I can’t beat myself up too much but I can definitely see now that I got played. Great learning lesson 😎
Gave up on women some decades ago and to watch the failing datingmarket and too many entitled women, I still think it was the best decision of my life. No drama, no worries, superb! 😎👍
You have saving lives young lady You a national treasure for the generation z. The young gen z also need a male role model like a strong masculine father figure that they have lacked. You are the second half of the equation the mother they deserve
There was a woman who had an interest in me, thinking we'd make a good couple, but there were things about her where I couldn't help but disagree. She seemed to have needy tendencies and jealousy tendencies. Plus she even said that all men cheat. Does she really think I want to be with a woman who thinks all men cheat? She did say that she thinks I'm honest and believable, but the damage had already been done.
@@Mogamishu She'd still hold out hope that I'd change my mind (which I never did). She'd think that I'd like her if she lost weight, or think I just didn't want her because I don't like black women, and that I was just scared that I'd like it. That couldn't have been further from the truth, and I'm also black
thank you for your vids… they say almost the same things that other youtubers say to us, men, except for the hate towards women that they force. i was almost falling into some deep hole with those ideas but your videos help me understand women better than just justifying their actions with hidden hate
The final tip is the one that I am dealing with. The societal norms of how/what progress is supposed to be on specific dates. I just went on date 3 last night. Society says I am supposed to have made a move on this date. If I do not, She will see me as too nice. I struggle with this because I honestly do not want to kiss a girl I have only met 3 times. Sure it is nice to kiss. I have no idea who this girl is by date 3. Sure I know some stuff. But I am not trying to rub up on a girl I do not intend to be with for a long period of time or marry. So, I will not be making any moves until I know I want to kiss her. Until I know she is actually interested in me and not just tagging along for a free dinner.
Courtney you told us that you have been there,but you did not tell us how did you find this version of you, because this version is AMAZING, I hope you make a video about that,so alot of people get to know you better.
@@IbrahimHassan-by8tr stop being a cringy simp bro. Commenting all that garbage on a self-help youtube video isn't the move and you're only going further down the loser rabbithole.
I remember being many of these things when i was younger (late teens and early 20's). Probably normal to feel insecure without a bit of life experience. Young women and men need to learn their first relationships are more like lessons and less about being "forever". There is no substitute for first hand life experience.
@@CourtneyRyan you're so correct I also think an important part is forming a spiritual relationship one that you can have with the creator and your human partner!
WOW everything just made sense to me ….i actually stopped the whole texting thing a while ago i need to work on a few more things but im almost there thank you for the video it helped me a lot.
Imagine being a free person living your purpose and someone sends you energy that interrupts your flow of life. That’s what neediness and insecurity does. That’s why those qualities are not attractive.
Hello Miss Courtney. Your contents are really amazing. Love your calm and collected personality, it's smoothing & comforting. Nice work. If you ever have to the time, please I'd love it if you to do a video on being in a serious long distance relationship.. it's challenges & how to overcome them especially with distraction from the modern society. Thank you sooo much darling. Take care & keep up the good work. Cheers
This video was great! I tend to be a needy person because both my parents abandoned me as a baby And I was in an abusive relationship that kept me dependent I'm healing but thanks for the vid courtney it'll help me with my current girlfriend
Needed this. You're the real mvp! But what's the difference between being needy and reading the signs that someone who isn't texting probably isn't that interested? If that makes sense
can you make a video about 'how to talk with someone '. I'm really struggling with this problem. I can't talk with anyone freely. love your videos BTW .
this video will help me be more confident than i was before this videos is gonna make me be better than i was before but mistakes are gonna happen we are not perfect but to learn from them
Excellent video I most definitely have these problems I worry a lot about everything I been working not worrying so much. I also over think thing’s a lot I’m a overthinker. Think you for the tips I will most definitely keep working on it.
Hi thanks for this video...In my opinion, if a man is attractive and powerful enough not to worry about losing his partner, then he can even control her.
Summary:
1. Have your own passions
2. Improving your self esteem
3. Stop worrying
4. Put down the phone
5. Take things slow
Thanks for another great video!
@@SinclairEli maybe you could do it
And don't forget the most important: Make sure you're with people who are actually interested in you. Being with those who are not just makes you feel unwanted and it's one of the worst feelings in the world.
Just make sure that you have your own life full of hobbies, activities, and your own friends. If your partner ends up being busy with their life and does not include you, you have your own life to enjoy without having to be upset because that partner won't be part of your life for few hours. A relationship should have separate lives and be a bonus to your life.
When my partner doesn’t include me and is busy I call my side chicks
I lack friends. My circle has gotten smaller and smaller to the point I'm ending up hanging out by myself on every occasion. A lot of girls get turned off by this, but I'm the process of going to law school next year, so a new circle will be born. But in the meantime I only have my job that I hate and trying to make a budget to join a fitness group.
They will bitch at you for having hobbies that don’t include them or that they don’t find interesting and then they’ll leave you because your boring and want to spend time with her. Cant fucking win
this sound like growing apart right , here a good tipp, my X long term girlfriend is now a whole athlete when all she do in a relationship is sleep
hahahaha hey chase your dreams my people , Keep Love and Smilee , you never know when the person you come by need to see a smile , a smile represent live lovee goals mannn u feell mee
@@franciscocolin2008 bro you got it made believe me
Its very difficult for a guy when he meets an attractive women not to get carried away with crazy ideas of the future and if you are too eager, non of the ideas are going to happen because shes going to run a mile. This happened to me recently because she was really into me and i got too comfortable and broke all the rules even though i knew what i was doing was wrong, and guess what...shes gone!
Especially if the guy is unattractive like me and never gets attention from attractive women.
I hear ya, man. I did the same thing recently as well. Broke all the rules, and lost her in the end. Made myself look like a damn fool trying to convince her not to leave. Worst thing is, I never make these mistakes. But, I was too into this one chick and lost my head. You live and learn, I guess. 🤷🏻♂️
@@ericv5435 woman are attracted to charactor, get a hair cut and some good clothes and hit the gym! forget dating sites and stop feeling sorry for yourself
@@crash7098 well i didnt do the chasing thing, i just let her go hoping she might reach out, but recently the little whatsapp profile pic dissapeared ( stomache turning) haha. oh well onwards and upwards.
@@agee7777 I stopped using dating apps a long time ago, I go to the gym, I dress better than I used to, and I got a haircut recently that women complimented me on.
Neediness turns everyone off, and with good reason.
I also struggle with insecurity, my ex cheated on me, showed up to a party with the new guy a week later and had the nerve to introduce me to him to twist the knife. Broke my confidence and made me question my self-worth. These videos are helping me get back on my feet. Thanks Courtney.
Sorry to hear that man. She will get what she deserves
Chin up bro
And that’s the thing, that chick sucked. It wasn’t about you, she had her own issues that she’ll probably never work out. You dodged a bullet.
I had the same experience where my Ex cheated on me and bringing her new boyfriend to my place. Like she was trying to humiliate me. But I’ve moved on as I know my self worth
Had a deep conversation with my highschool crush last night about life and decided to test the waters a little. Turns out she’s felt the same way but was waiting for me to make the first move.
Your channel has helped me grow myself so much within the last year of watching, without it there’s no way I’d be able to pick up on her hints. Thanks
I’m so glad! 🥺
I’ve personally struggled with this for a long time. Neediness, oneitis, insecurity, you name it. Not just with women, but also my career. I see people I went to university with who are married and have the type of job I want. That at times has made me feel inadequate, a failure. I will tackle this problem head on and pave my own path in this world. Thank you Courtney for the advice!
Well said
You got this! Start thinking for yourself
@@omari484 Thanks man! Will do!
I relate a lot to this. Roar. Life is begging you to roar you dormant lion…
@@BlackHawk09999 I’m 30 gonna be 31 next month and still struggle with this shit. It’s so hard to not be needy and insecure about anything. I’m my own worst enemy
Videos like this are an affirmation that I'm going in the right direction. I just wish I would have understood this 15 years ago. Better late than never.
I didn't realise I'd become the needy one. Already being low on friends I went through a stage where I stopped catching up with them, then the only one left in my life was my wife & without realising it I pushed all my neediness on to her. The worst part is the more attention you want, then less you will get, which just feeds the problem.
Then what you did to come out from this needy emotional attachment because I am going through same thing . I need advice too
@@swatimishra3082 All I can suggest doing is force yourself to go out and do things you like to do. And I mean force yourself. You won't want to but you need to. This is especially hard if you have to do them alone. The hardest part to leaving the house. Once you're out there doing it, you'll have fun and be glad you did it.
@@fifis101 okay
Really, meeting people to date should be a social habit, not so much a primary purpose. The ironic thing is, being out in the world every day accomplishing real goals (not dating goals) is the very thing that will draw new people toward you, rather than you chasing other people.
We cant expect women to approach us so at some point we have to take action.
@@GoneCarnivore Yeah sometimes. Depends on the situation. I think if your happy with your life as a man you should approach. You got nothing to lose as long as you dont waste your time chasing. Make it quick and get out
“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” Emerson said that about life in general, but I think it applies perfectly to dating. Self-confidence will always be the most attractive personality trait.
I love that you share your personal growth through some of these vids (thank you, please always do that)...and the balance between, ‘have a little grace’ and, ‘show up for yourself.’ That balance is important, it can’t be just one or the other.
Do you really think by watching her videos, following all the advice she gives and showering her with compliments will increase your chances of getting her or a girl like her?
@@Mogamishu about as relevant as if I asked you if you really thought that commenting on other people’s comments (as you have been, and not just mine) was going to make you more liked. Exactly.
@Someone Else, you're answering your own questions as you're watching her videos too
👏🏼❤️
It's highly unlikely you'll attract Courtney (she has a boyfriend), but it might attract a woman of higher quality. There used to be a bunch of dating gurus during the last decade that wrote books and even starred in TV shows about how to attract women and get sex from them, and while their methods were actually pretty effective they usually resulted in getting low quality women. If you just wanted sex from them, it was no big deal,but you wouldn't be able to sustain a healthy relationship from those women.
Guilty as charged. Working on my career has helped with this a lot.
👏🏼👏🏼 happens to the best of us
"Put the phone down...." unless you're watching, liking, or subscribing to Courtney's videos. 🤣
😂😂
This is pure gold right here. Listen to this lady, she is super emotionally inteligent and honest.
Corey Wayne talks about this a lot. You have to focus on yourself and your purpose! Women love a man who is driven
Courtney Ryan is the wisest coach (especially for her age) I have ever come across. As a 39 year old male trying to redefine himself, I feel truly blessed to have found this channel. I am so thankful for you Courtney 🙏
I agree with these. Everyone at some point has been insecure(Especially when dealing with past Traumas, Toxic situations/Relationships, cheating, etc.) But it's what we do about those insecurities that we can have a Great relationship, not only with someone, but yourself as well.
Courtney I just love your videos, sometimes we just need a swift kick in the butt. Seeing it from a womans perspective really helps, It's hard to be a man or woman in our society. Your advice is awesome... Keep up the great work 😁
Thank you. Lost my girlfriend of 10 years. Trying to learn what I did wrong and it seems like all of these were the issue. This is the first video that gave me the answers I needed.
Sincerely, thank you.
This is true! How are you supposed to expect someone to enjoy being with you when you don’t enjoy being with yourself? I learned this not too long ago. You never chase, you always attract 💯
First of all can we all appreciate that green? Second of all I love that you include yourself in these videos as someone who is willing and needs to grow. It's nice to see that from others. Thank you for your videos. Stay blessed everyone 🙏🏾
Such a great video tbh, I cannot stop praising you, it totally sums up my current situation. This is my scenario with my friend. I think having a social life is also beneficial where your life will not revolve around one person (including both male and female whether friend or girlfriends).
I definitely get excited and can maybe come off as needy when connecting with someone but I do have a lot of hobbies and eventually I do balance it out if the relationship progresses. I just express my genuine interest but am also understanding if someone is busy but if they like you back they will make time so if it’s just excuses to not hang out or talk eventually then move on time. I am an introvert as well so being alone is ok for me but I do really appreciate and sometimes crave genuine human connections but that takes time and is not so easy to find in the big city. I do also answer my people pretty quick regardless if it’s a romantic interest or not. Idk how people can not answer someone for a couple of days when even at my busiest, I find the time to respond within a couple of hours or within that day, most likely that just means you are low on the priority list.
I used to be this way when I very first started dating around. You will learn overtime and you will point out the signs that Courtney mentions in her video. Once you have your own passions, all the other things will fall into place because you’re busy doing what you love.
For me it’s reading, cooking, meditation, video games, working out, learning a new skill. I am always busy nowadays because my life has substance. Do not and I repeat do not make your potential relationship interest, YOUR ENTIRE LIFE that shit will fucking backfire on you faster than a clogged muffler.
Green suits you Courtney ❤
Is that all you have to say?
@Someone Else, of course
Lots of healthy non judgemental encouraging developmental advice in this video, thanks Courtney.
I wonder which is more common; A needy/clingy person being someone younger that haven't got the experience and their own thing going yet, or someone a bit older that have failed a few times and is afraid that "time is running out" for them?
Both are on the same level in terms of neediness.
I have a lot of financial opportunity at such a young age. I have a car, a healthy family, good friends, a functioning routine and I’m thankful for all these things. I can smoke at home and just chillax. I have a very easy going and happy life
5 things what you mentioned are actually 5 million things to make a perfect-happy-confident successful life. You're just incredible and I thank you from my bottom of heart.
Amen, you've described myself a few years ago, all those things are huge red flags but when you have misconceptions it's easy to believe they're normal or at least ok, but as I grow up I understand all you said. "you may want a partner not a creep needy man who need contant emotional reasurement"
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it and I made a promise to put 30min aside a day to exercise and instead of taking the elevator to my office I take the stairs instead. So far it’s been helping me with my self esteem ✌🏽❤️✊🏽
I find Needy and Clingy Attractive!!! OBSESSION is another story. i'm not attracted to some one that Legit needs 0% of me in their day life. that's what i'm looking for in a relation ship, i need some one that gives value to me. that look me in the eyes with Passion, someone that reminds me that i'm important to them, my self esteem is enough to live a happy life, but i want to enjoy life, and for that i need that person to be Needy and Clingy!
I think guys need to stop qualifying themselves.The fastest way a woman loses respect is when you change yourself to suit her.Like if on a date or in a relationship,she says she hates running,don’t start bashing running all of the sudden.
All of her vids are about how a male should change 😅🤣😅🤣
@@cbrown6848 yes, change for himself !
@@cbrown6848 no it applies to women to. These tips are given to women to.
Nah in a way thats right
Wow, all the good tips for getting rid of the neediness. :) Thank you for the video! I especially liked the last one.
Thank you for the informative video. The biggest one I struggle with I guess is stalking my ex on social media. Seeing when she is online and thinking about who she could be talking to.
I really think that woman imprinted me on a psychological level or something.
You are right Courtney that the only thing that will take your mind off of that is doing other things everyday, like staying productive building things or working out in the gym.
I dated a needy woman for a short time - a very short time. Her behavior drove me crazy. Needy men are just downright pathetic.
Great content Courtney - you are wise beyond your years. Take care and good luck, and I look forward to your future videos!
I really like what you said about self sabotage and keep promises towards yourself! Thanks! Amazing viewpoints!
She look great in every colour! 😍.
Is that the only reason you watch her videos, because she is attractive?
Do you even listen to what she says or are you just looking at her face?
@@Mogamishu I guarantee her face isn't what he's looking at.
@@ericv5435 😂 😉
@@Mogamishu you can listen to someone whilst also appreciating they look good. The new outfit colour is a novelty for this video, Courtney delivering truthful and insightful content is not. Thats consistent across everything she does.
@@Mogamishu do YOU even listen to what she says? or do you just come here to bash people for no reason? 🤔
Your so intelligent! I liked the self accountability and making one promise to yourself a day. I’ve learned the more you focus on yourself and wellbeing the happier you are.
Last girl rejected me. I started working out - doing calisthecis. But just to workout, not doing skills.
Got rid of all social media, just left FB for Spotify
And most important which I think helped a lot. Seamen Retention
Green is my favorite color.
Ms. Courtney is as kind & understanding as she is wise. Well done, Dear.
Your so easy to listen to- girls like you make me shyer the more accomplished and well spoken! Lack in conversation skills and girls I want pass by way to often
Courtney. I really appreciate the personal transparency you are providing in your content. It adds greatly to your credibility.
I would think that I had low self esteem but it wasn’t like that when I first met her. She tore me down in a manipulative controlling way and later found out about narcissist. She was the clingy one who just wanted admiration and validation. It helped a lot to realize that I allowed another person to tear me down and she was simply unhealthy. Only healthy relationships for now on.
Also ya’ll should delete Snapchat, it doesn’t help anyone in any way shape or form.
Yeah girls put you down on purpose.... basically to feel above you
@@maxpayne4129 that’s crazy how it’s a purposeful thing. People are weird.
@@travis6694 Yeah you're right. I think it's wierd too. At least you seem cool :) Not everyone's a bad person
Thank you so much for these videos!!! Your videos have not only inspired me to dress better but to just be the best version of myself.
Great tips especially about taking a step back from the phone/social media
It’s hard, putting someone else’s life above your own feels like the right thing to do, it is selfless and requires sacrifice. However I find that it causes more harm than good when done too often. Never lose sight of yourself!
I learned to stop being needy. I had to give up dating and women to accomplish this, but none the less I achieved my goal!
Thank you Courtney, I still got a lot to learn myself but this video I felt has helped me a bit.
Right now, I really like a guy friend at work and we talk often in and outside of work. And I don't want to become too attached or clingy and ruin things, he's a really nice person, not just to me but other people as well. I think I should breathe, and take things slow. And being too needy or clingy is a huge turn off.
Few month back I purposely used my phone as little as possible. Made a huge difference in my life.
I approached this girl in a coffee shop. I introduced myself and asked her how she was doing. I was asking her open ended questions and she was giving me thorough answers and smiling. After talking for like 10-15mins I then asked her if she wants to hangout sometime, and she said “I don’t really know you and have to get to know people first. But if I see you around sometime, I’ll say hi”
What does that mean?? I was so confused and thought the convo was good
Ooh I think you should’ve asked for her number first
Kudos for putting yourself out there and giving it a shot. Seriously. Now, to answer your question:
If you ask vague questions, you get vague answers. You gotta clearly communicate it’s a date.
Specificity and intent are what matters. Don’t ask to “hang out.” Hanging out is actually more familiar and intimate than a date! Dates are public, can be easily exited, and have far less stakes.
Also, asking someone on a clear date is more flattering and shows initiative. I would recommend something along the lines of: “Listen, I’m glad I met you. I’d love to continue this over dinner. How about this Friday?”
1. Acknowledge/ them
2. Specify it’s a date
3. Suggest a time frame
It means she rejected you for a shallow reason or for something you didnt mention in the story or was just milking you for attention. All three are common, especially the last one because everyone thinks their a queen so they need to waste some random guys time so they can validate themselves and their inflated egos.
@@connorlohse4097 Great advice!
@@saisusato2871 I try!
Omg you said it perfectly. Most definitely a lack of fulfillment!! 😢
Another quality video, which is why I for one keep coming back. 100% agree with having your own intestests. I'm big into whiskey for example. I have over 20 bottles at home of various types. In case you're wondering, I limit myself to two drinks at a time and never on days when I have to work. In various circles I've become known as the whiskey guy. People have come to be for advice on it or have shown me recent purchaces things like that. My wife doesn't like whiskey. She's got nothing agaisnt it, but it's just not her thing. She also doesn't disparage me, my hobby. Being able to have different interests is key in our relationship. We may be married but we're also our own persons as well. By focusing on each other our marriage is made stronger, especially when hard times come.
I don't always agree with you Courtney. But you are a sweet heart.
You’re probably one of the few women out there who are trying to to help us guys who is struggling, instead of trying to destroy us .. thanks
Chris, you mean “one of the few women out there who is...etc”, not who are. One means one. Are suggests more than one. Ok?
Courtney ! The problem is some people don't have good face to show the confidence and secure. Don't have good an body language to show all those things. I'm one pf them I'm very confident man sociable but my face and body language are naturally show other things i don't know why!
I like the promising yourself thing.
Essential knowledge to avoid the pitfalls of "wrong" dating. Dating should be something to improve not to enslave and get in the pit of despair.
Much needed video; it saved me from doing something needy today.
Can you make a video on how to handle breakups and how to respectfully break up with someone if the relationship didn't make sense anymore?
Great video, pretty much summed up my ex girlfriend. Her insecurities pushed us apart.
Me and a girl chatted for a month met up once and set up plans on 3 different occasions. I was often busy but I would reply within a few hours of her messages. She flaked on me 3 different times before I took the hint. I spent a decade isolating myself so I can’t beat myself up too much but I can definitely see now that I got played. Great learning lesson 😎
Is being upset that a girl flaked on you more than once in such a short time span considered “needy”?
Gave up on women some decades ago and to watch the failing datingmarket and too many entitled women, I still think it was the best decision of my life. No drama, no worries, superb! 😎👍
Yes, please, let's advocate for mental health.
Absolutely. It's wonderful that it's starting to lose its stigma, especially for men.
You have saving lives young lady
You a national treasure for the generation z. The young gen z also need a male role model like a strong masculine father figure that they have lacked. You are the second half of the equation the mother they deserve
Im already ahead of the game but learning more is still a great way to have a refreshment in my life
There was a woman who had an interest in me, thinking we'd make a good couple, but there were things about her where I couldn't help but disagree. She seemed to have needy tendencies and jealousy tendencies. Plus she even said that all men cheat. Does she really think I want to be with a woman who thinks all men cheat? She did say that she thinks I'm honest and believable, but the damage had already been done.
What happened next? Did you end up rejecting her? How did she react?
@@Mogamishu She'd still hold out hope that I'd change my mind (which I never did). She'd think that I'd like her if she lost weight, or think I just didn't want her because I don't like black women, and that I was just scared that I'd like it. That couldn't have been further from the truth, and I'm also black
thank you for your vids… they say almost the same things that other youtubers say to us, men, except for the hate towards women that they force. i was almost falling into some deep hole with those ideas but your videos help me understand women better than just justifying their actions with hidden hate
I'm glad i found this channel. Thanks for the advice Courtney
Yeah
@@jessegray9812 who are u?
@@seanvillanueva7583 Tf u talking about?
Thank You Courtney, Im very clingy and never really got any better at not doing it so much.
The final tip is the one that I am dealing with. The societal norms of how/what progress is supposed to be on specific dates. I just went on date 3 last night. Society says I am supposed to have made a move on this date. If I do not, She will see me as too nice. I struggle with this because I honestly do not want to kiss a girl I have only met 3 times. Sure it is nice to kiss. I have no idea who this girl is by date 3. Sure I know some stuff. But I am not trying to rub up on a girl I do not intend to be with for a long period of time or marry. So, I will not be making any moves until I know I want to kiss her. Until I know she is actually interested in me and not just tagging along for a free dinner.
On balance I would say it's better to shoot your shot, try and fail than to not try or to overthink it to the point it becomes awkward
Courtney you told us that you have been there,but you did not tell us how did you find this version of you, because this version is AMAZING, I hope you make a video about that,so alot of people get to know you better.
Cringe
@@DB-sd3cw well that's a new one, people used to call me a SIMP,and I don't like this nor that.
@@IbrahimHassan-by8tr stop being a cringy simp bro. Commenting all that garbage on a self-help youtube video isn't the move and you're only going further down the loser rabbithole.
Thank you so much!
I remember being many of these things when i was younger (late teens and early 20's). Probably normal to feel insecure without a bit of life experience. Young women and men need to learn their first relationships are more like lessons and less about being "forever". There is no substitute for first hand life experience.
Love you Courtney just realizing there's a lot of women worship going around and I really think people should focus on something greater!
Yeah it’s more about the relationship with yourself honestly!
@@CourtneyRyan you're so correct I also think an important part is forming a spiritual relationship one that you can have with the creator and your human partner!
WOW everything just made sense to me ….i actually stopped the whole texting thing a while ago i need to work on a few more things but im almost there thank you for the video it helped me a lot.
Imagine being a free person living your purpose and someone sends you energy that interrupts your flow of life. That’s what neediness and insecurity does. That’s why those qualities are not attractive.
This hit the nail on the head. Thank you Courtney!
Take things slow….no pressureeeee!
It's like you've made this video about me! Every word you speak describes me perfectly
Honestly, the realest woman on TH-cam.
Hello Miss Courtney.
Your contents are really amazing.
Love your calm and collected personality, it's smoothing & comforting.
Nice work.
If you ever have to the time, please I'd love it if you to do a video on being in a serious long distance relationship.. it's challenges & how to overcome them especially with distraction from the modern society.
Thank you sooo much darling.
Take care & keep up the good work. Cheers
This video was great!
I tend to be a needy person because both my parents abandoned me as a baby
And I was in an abusive relationship that kept me dependent
I'm healing but thanks for the vid courtney it'll help me with my current girlfriend
Everyone is needy one way or another. As long as its not on purpose to annoy the date its fixable as the relationship grows.
Needed this. You're the real mvp! But what's the difference between being needy and reading the signs that someone who isn't texting probably isn't that interested? If that makes sense
Courtney, I've been looking for such video for a long time... really big thank you, Courtney. love.
Thank you for these genuine advice Miss we appreciate alot.💝
You look great with green. It's my favourite colour!! And obviously I love your videos.
Her voice... So soothing
You have to most wholesome comment section on TH-cam. Literally no other channel has this little amount of negativity
No 1 is definitely true, I have to admit, I have to learn how to stop this. It's just been awhile for me.
can you make a video about 'how to talk with someone '. I'm really struggling with this problem. I can't talk with anyone freely. love your videos BTW .
I like the new shirt Courtney! I don’t think we’ve seen that one before! Thank you for the great advice as always!
Oh Courtney! You truly make anyone's day better!
this video will help me be more confident than i was before this videos is gonna make me be better than i was before but mistakes are gonna happen we are not perfect but to learn from them
Such a good video as always. Thank you for all the great content. Its very helpful. I listen to them as I work.
Excellent video I most definitely have these problems I worry a lot about everything I been working not worrying so much. I also over think thing’s a lot I’m a overthinker. Think you for the tips I will most definitely keep working on it.
Hi thanks for this video...In my opinion, if a man is attractive and powerful enough not to worry about losing his partner, then he can even control her.
I needed this video in so many ways. Thank you for posting good content.