@@cds18forshay78 "Midtown Morgue and Steakhouse. You kill 'em, we grill 'em." "Gianfranco's abortion clinic and Italian restaurant, where yesterday's loss becomes today's sauce" "Fourteenth annual Cannibals Anonymous welcomes you to its Meat and Greet."
My friend got diagnosed with cancer and he did eventualy die from it. The last thing he ever said to me was " I don't see why people say cancer is so hard to beat, I'm already on stage 4."
I had an emergency room nurse who used to come to my church. "Good news, Pastor!", she said one day. "We only had 14 suicide attempts this month! That's half as many as last month!" Cope with this stuff however you can, dude. I've got mad respect for you.
Me, helping security move a corpse: "Hope he didn't have any plans." Security: "Don't make me laugh while I'm carrying a body. You do NOT want to drop one of these."
20 mins after my Mom passed, I looked my sister in her eyes and said "Now we always win the your momma game" we laughed and it made the world turn again.
When my best friend was murdered by my stepson, her mother and I went on a dark humor streak that made us both laugh until we cried. Then we cried. Hard. Some people just don't understand how dark humor can soothe the pain so well. It soothed our souls so that we could finally accept the awful truth.
I was a Paramedic-Critical for 8 years. EMS/First-Responders and medical personnel in general MUST maintain a level of professional detachment to protect our own mental health because of the absolute horrors we see sometimes. Dark humor is just a different way of describing professional detachment. Its normal and very common.
I'm glad you two managed to process that. Part of me is trying to process that situation, though. Damn. I dont think I've had a member of my family kill another of my family during my life :/
“We can laugh about everything. We must laugh about everything. Even death. Especially death. For when has death shown any qualms about laughing at us?”
When I was 13 I told my grandmother, who was a nurse, an effed up joke. She responded that I was only allowed to date p$rn stars and nurses. When I married a combat medic turned cam girl, grandma said I was a good listener. Proudest day of my life.
There is some connection between pornstars and nurses I'm missing Like, as a nurse she told the nurses are onto this humor, and pornstars as well If it was a usual cockjoke then why this is related to nurses
Ive been a practicing psychiatrist for some time now. Ive lost two pacients to suicide. My best Friend came to me and said "Man I guess youre not a good shrink lol" Still cant decide if I should have laughed or slapped him
Dated a paramedic for a while, one time he told me a story about a gunshot victim that said “please don’t let me die man” and my friend responded with “I won’t, because I don’t wanna have to do the paperwork” 😂😂 at that moment I understood the dark humor.
That was our go to for "don't let me die," "I'm afraid of being stuck," "I feel like Im going to fall" etc. The best part is that it's the truth. Incident reports are no fun; we dropped you, we gotta explain why.
@@hvymtal8566 Some does, some doesn’t. It sometimes depends on the particular patient and what sort of rapport you’ve developed with them. And sometimes *they* need a laugh, too.
I was working at a blood bank and we were being trained in phlebotomy. When we got to the section on hemophilia I started laughing to myself. That laughter grew into an uncontrollable convulsion and I had to leave the room. When I came back, I was asked what was so funny and I responded "At a blood bank, hemophilia is the gift that keeps on giving."
I’m a regular blood products donor, to the point where me showing up at the donation center is like a scene out of Cheers. Phlebotomists are some of the coolest and funniest people I’ve ever hung out with. Constant jokes, funny stories, and friendly ribbing.
When I started, I was uncomfortably surprised at how well I was able to handle bad calls after the fact. I genuinely felt like a bad person because I could just go back to work after doing CPR on a child or try extricating someone who was inevitably going to die. I’ve been at it for 9 years, and it took 5 before I realized that me and my guys had a healthy amount of dark humor to allow us to unwind. It’s a natural way for us to discharge the inner frustration and hatred that comes with it. If an occasional dark joke keeps us from destroying our families or picking our noses with a shotgun, then it’s worth it. I’ve come to understand it, and I hope others can, too.
@Colton Standifird... When you get past 15 years, start looking around and remembering the coworkers that are no longer there, the ones that chose to pick the nose with a shotgun or chose a rope or used a running car in a closed up garage. If you start ideation towards the end of this career choice, get help and support your coworkers to get help, too. There is an epidemic of suicidal thoughts that go past ideation in all the protective services. I lost too many in 25 years in the FD. One is too many. Far better to retire early and live a long life.
It's been around for ages, just look at M.A.S.H or read some of the good "realistic" books on war (Väinö Linna unknown soldier, Erich Maria Remarque in the west nothing new...) They are full of the darkest humour
Don't take it so serious. In the bigger scheme of things we Westerners are very sheltered. The world has traditionally been full of tragic events both large and small. Humans once dealt with traumas that would send us to therapy for years, and it's not much better now, in some places. Overall, our civility is a good problem to have, but we should try to keep some perspective.
Dark humor is why funeral directors can look at you with a gentle expression after reassembling a person who went through a mincer. Don't tell us it isn't necessary.
I was a grave digger, and I didn’t have to deal with the bodies, but we had to deal with the families, which is almost worse. We used a lot of dark humor to get through that.
my parents run and operate a funeral home and i was homeschooled as a child and for extra money i would help with death calls and funerals lets just say in real life the only friend i have is dark humor,
When people find out I was a critical care nurse for 30 years (and on a fire brigade at an oil refinery for a couple years before that) they nearly always ask “What’s the worst thing you’ve seen?” I tell them the worst things I’ve seen wouldn’t let them sleep at night. Dark humor is a finely honed art that lets us stay sane(-ish) and able to (more or less) sleep at night.
I never tried to cushion the answer of "what's the worst you've seen?" Talking about trauma helps you cope right? Lol. Tell them the worst and maybe they'll learn to not do that to someone else. Theull leave or they'll ask more questions about the call and turn into therapy session lol
Someone asked me what was the worst thing I have seen. "I have seen what someone looks like after they are ran over by a train." "What was that like?" "You know it already, you see it every time you eat spaghetti." Thats my way of sharing it with other people. :P
Our eldest is an RN. During the early pandemic, she obviously was getting fried, since she was in the ED. She'd transferred to the ED after getting fried dealing with a really nice, sweet teen in the burn unit. Child abuse victim with 80+% burns. To get COVID after COVID patient cursing everyone out because there's no such thing, it's just a cold and well, patients know more than doctors. Mystifies me, if patients know all that much more, whyinhell are they wasting doctor's time, rather than going with DIY brain surgery? Then, the teen suicide by hanging victim arrived and she watched his brain herniate. She called me, normally a calm person, obviously shaken badly and said she couldn't work in patient care any longer and why. I simply said, "You are the best one to ascertain your condition, so if you say you can't do it, you can't do it, move on before you might harm yourself (no suggestion of self-harm, but I'm retired military EMS and saw quite a few (and let's face it, kids are the worst, saw NICU eat professionals as a light snack many times)". She went with a more traumatic position, calling insurance companies to convince them to cover services for patients for a year and change. When asked if I've ever handled a disaster, it's pretty much, "which class of mass casualty event are you asking about?". Maybe, the day before deploying to the Middle East with our brigade combat team, handling 179 men seeking treatment for a lightning strike on the covered bleachers that were poorly grounded, three evacuated to hospital doing the Funky Chicken? The armored vehicle rollover, which left the driver with a cardiac contusion and the track commander with an traumatic airway obstruction, plus a dozen infantry thrown about the nice, soft armed interior? Losing a friend to a similar rollover, both caused by the roadside collapsing under the bulk of their 20+ ton armored vehicle? Responding to a bombing, well, plenty of parts, but Dr Frankenstein couldn't even assemble a human from that. Taking a panic mode radio call from one of my junior medics, he responding to a bar bombing, "There's blood all over the place!", totally in overload. "Is it yours? Then follow your training and protocols, see you when you get back". Had a highly against regulations drink waiting for him when he returned. Patient didn't make it, obviously.
When reading your answer 'you've seen what someone looks like after they were run over by a train', my first thought was exactly that: *pasta bolognese sauce*. 😂 But unless I'm talking to someone in the same line of work, I will refuse to answer such a question. I've seen too much railroad 'accidents' (aka suicides) to remember them all, and I don't want to either. The first few real associations I have are: BBQ, exploded tomato sauce, pancakes, and looking for Easter eggs.
And thus, people still don't get it and just defeats Jason's message. People here comment edgy shit just to get likes, service members and medical professionals use dark humor to cope. There's a clear difference.
@@reedy_9619 I know, but in the context of TH-cam comments, what exactly are they trying to cope with? Especially in this video? They're just trying hard to be funny to get likes and it's just sad and pathetic.
@@Pulang_Diwa could be stress That’s one of the reasons why people spend time watching videos on youtube, some might be attention seeking and some might just be trying to shock (and shock humour can be really funny)
All forms of humor are based in the experiences of people. Humor is age old. Dark humor is a type of humor. Often, dark humor is shared by those who have been exposed to the worst of the human experience. If you haven't lived some of the worst, you probably can't fully understand it. Look away if it offends you. Understand that it is not for everyone but do not deny those that do understand it and live with those certain memories of the very worst.
My brother is a retired firefighter/paramedic. He could tell some stories where you would almost wet yourself laughing so hard. Then you would think: “Oh My GoD! That person died!” He also retired with PTSD, so there’s that.
My husband had a healthy dark humor/shock humor side to him. I watched him pass away while I was unable to save him. (tried to perform CPR until the paramedics arrived, but we were not able to bring him back.) Anyway, I sometimes feel like I can still hear him in my mind. First time was when I was driving my car from our place to his parents' house the day after he passed. I was going up a hill him and I had driven so many times when I heard his voice in my head saying "You won." I immediately recognized what this meant. He always joked that marriage was just the longest game of chicken that only stopped when one died. I wanted to laugh, but it only came out as crying. He also drops his poignant comparisons on me here and there too. Bad day? Sucks worse than a hooker with a broken jaw. That's 100% him. Not me. I also need to get another remains container commissioned for him because I remembered what he said he wanted written on it when he died: "4d6, reroll 1s, drop the lowest" (him and his friends' homebrew rules to roll up a character sheet.)
I so wanted to have written on my husband's gravestone "All your base are belong to us." (it is an Internet meme based on a badly translated phrase from the opening cutscene of the Japanese video game Zero Wing.) But I wasn't sure how well the rest of his family would have taken the joke. I think he would have liked it as, one: he is the person who told me about it and two: when we were first dating he gave me "Girl's Guide to Geek Guys" to show me what a great catch he was. 😂 This was a few decades ago, before the rise of Geekdom, where geeks and nerds are cool. This was a time when it was still not cool to know how to program a calculator or write a program that counted down to our wedding date.
Even kids use dark humor. I remember when a group of friends and I were volunteering and at ''orphans-possible adopters'' meeting and one of the kids yelled ''last to get to the food table doesn't get a mommy'' and started running towards it. My friends and I were let speechless for a couple of seconds trying to process if we had heard right but after that we all burst into laughter. That little girls is our idol
I was a kid when the space shuttle Challenger exploded. The one that had a school teacher on board and we were all going to learn science with her during her mission. All of us used dark humor to get through that. We really should spend more time observing how kids process things.
Concerned about us not having ethically sourced meat? Then come down the Hannibal sausage emporium! Where we allow each customer to have a part in the creation process. It's fun for the whole family...Especially the children...
As a frequent flyer (I've got a fun suite of chronic diseases which all present with syncope), I really appreciate that y'all laugh with me. Takes the edge off after trying to convince panicking normal people that face down on the sidewalk really is the most comfortable position for me at this particular moment
Yep, chronically ill as well and trying to talk people out of calling an ambulance is so much fun. Especially cause half the time I'm only doing slightly bad and they are going solely off my skin tone, and my regular skin tone is paler than your average movie vampire. And I already took the meds they can give me anyway.
I feel you! Frequent flyer here, too. I make jokes with the ER nurses and ask the paramedics to run the siren 🚨. It's the only thing that got me through multiple hospital stays after my mom died of cancer.
Same here. Keep asking when my NHS specialist is going for "the old Keller treatment" as it would be cheaper. He isn't allowed to laugh but his crow feet got deeper. 🤣
Thankfully, not a frequent flyer yet, hopefully not for a good long while. But, due to an adjustment in BP meds, boy can I write a book about the joys of vertigo and syncope, not to mention well, shock BP. So far, the record once I recovered a bit was 60/40, you'll understand why there was a delay in recording that, I hope.
I was a lifeguard in my teens and was asked how I dealt with pulling out drowned victims. With a straight face I turned point towards the ocean and stated, " you wait for a descent wave and ride 'em to shore." The crowd around me gave me dirty looks while my boss was crying and trying not to laugh. He yelled at me in front of the crowd, but proceeded to the other lifeguards what I said. The truth 20 years later I still see the face of the ones who died.
@Ed-ds3hj We are both late to the party, but drowning in public areas is common it is not always reported, I have experienced it first hand acter going to dive. When we got back to the shore a guy was calling us for help. Me and my sister ran and went to help but he was already dead when we pulled him out of the water, I still see his face and hear his wife crying. (It was at Sodwana Bay in South Africa)
Every time I have to take my depression pills my sisters go, "Are you taking your normal person pills?" Then laughing at me with pure joy. Not to mention when I got sent to my mental hospital I literally joked the entire time about going to join my kind( the crazys) again. If me and my family never joke about it then we would have sobbed nonstop for hours.
Friend who's an oncologist telling his BFF, the paramedic the bad news: Doc: Well, it's definitely cancer and it's basically metastasized everywhere. BFF: Anything at all we can do? Doc: There's this spa down the road that advertises medicinal mudbaths. I'd suggest you try that. BFF: Will it help at all? Doc: Nah, but it'll get you used to being covered in dirt. Both: Laughing their asses off..........
A man died and well, he wasn't a very good person, so he was sent to hell. He got to hell and was greeted by the devil, who said, "Like upstairs, I to have many rooms and since you'll be here forever, we like to let people choose their own room". So, he takes the man on a tour, to see all manner of torment and torture, to finally come to a room where everyone is wading around up to their chests in shit. He thinks quickly, as this is the last room and figures he can grow accustomed to the smell and selects that room. He gets settled in, figures he was right that he'd grow accustomed to it and figures he got a pretty good deal, considering. Then, the demon guard stands up and says, "OK, break time is over, everyone back on their knees".
As a survivor of sexual abuse, dark humor has become my staple coping mechanism for panic attacks. My husband comes from a physically abusive family and his humor is just as dark. Our kids think we are weird.
@@berserkercookie2645 You just brought tears to my eyes. I love my kids and would do anything for them. The oldest is now going to school for DNR (his girlfriend is going to school to become an emt/firefighter) and my youngest wants to become a biochemist.
Stay strong and if humour gets you through, then fantastic. Be funny, be strange, be weird...but be alive and keep going! Your kids might think you’re weird but I bet they love you! You are doing great
@@MelanaC I was just smiling and crying while reading this and my youngest announced to the house that I was being weird again. My oldest said, "Just pat her on the head like we do the dog. She'll be ok." 😂 What would I do without them? I never want to know.
As someone who is planning on going to school to become a *last* responder (embalmer & post mortem cosmetologist), this rings SO true. From speaking to other people who are already professionals, I've heard that humor is by far the best way of dealing with what goes on behind the scenes of every mortuary.
Please please PLEASE tell me that anytime someone asks you what you do for a living, you tell them that you're a "last responder" and crack a grin when they look confused because they don't know what you mean right away.
I was at a fair ground a while back with my family and we walked by one of those Marine recruitment stations where they have the pull-up bar and you could pay $10 to try and hold on for a minute to get a prize or something like that. Not realizing I was speaking out loud I said, “Ten dollars to hang? I can do that for free back home in my closet with a belt.”
You've inadvertently highlighted an additional set of people prone to dark humor: people with mental health diagnoses. With just one joke or anecdote, we can kill an entire party like it was... well, ourselves. And there'll be someone else in the room who actually laughs or at least gets it, because they've gone through the same shit.
The way I've explained it to people is that seeing a someone they know dead on the floor is a rare, tragic, indescribably saddening event. For us, it's a Tuesday. Possibly just Tuesday morning.
True. For me seeing somebody familiar dead is extremely rare. Attending a deceased person happens about three times a week. We've all had somebody ask "have you ever seen a dead person in your job?" then check the look on their face when you answer "every other day". I was amazed when a 75 year old told me he'd never seen a dead person.
@@coover65 A friend of mine had her father pass away recently in the local health centre. She's in her late 40s and he was the first she'd ever seen in her life.
@@keith6706 I guess it's all relevant to where we work. I've never seen a farm animal give birth, so a vet may find that odd. Nor have I seen millions of dollars in precious metals, jewels or cash which security staff may find odd.
The point is, even EMS don't see their loved ones dead in front of them often. Death of strangers is hard but not nearly as impactful. Only those in war become numb to seeing their loved ones die in front of them.
@@icecl0ud When you go to a deceased patient be it cardiac arrest, obvious death or pre-arrest there's no emotional connection. After 23 years of being a paramedic I just see these situations as part and parcel of a normal shift. I've attended family members but none that were dying.
I was a medic during undergrad and grad school. I was trying to explain to my wife about dark humor, and your explanation was spot on. When I showed this to her, her comment was - "it's just like the Bogart in Harry Potter - make light of it, and it isn't scary anymore." II never would have equated our sick little form of humor with part of the Harry Potter stories, but there you go.
You know, that might just be the best way to quickly and simply convey dark humor, especially in a pinch if one's used it in the wrong crowd. "Oops, sorry, I was fighting my bogart again, please excuse that."
I work in a prison and I've seen some stuff, the humor really helps in some situations. The other day an inmate got stabbed in the eye and naturally I respond with "I bet he didn't see that coming."
It's worth saying with our out loud voices that IDEALLY, when horrifying things happen, you have the luxury to be horrified. When someone is killed or mangled, you should cry. However, there are those of us who chose to be the person who continues functioning in the midst of that horror. Laughter is a useful alternative to "more appropriate" responses, and allows you to compartmentalize until the work is done. I have, however, encountered several colleagues who used dark humor for less dignified purposes. Often, they enjoyed horrifying civilians with it, which is not (IMO) an appropriate use for it. Other times, they got some kind of sincere pleasure from other people's misery. Some took it as a game, and competed to say something more horrifying than the last guy. On the one hand, games are practice. On the other hand, it's easy to get good at the wrong thing (callousness, rather than compartmentalization). I had colleagues who took a wrong turn along the way and their coping mechanism warped into a sarcastic bitterness that they played off as humor, or an elitist disdain for civilians that they played off as humorous. This kind of work is really hard, and it's very easy to misunderstand from the outside.
My sister cracked a joke to me at my first husband's funeral. You guys, I had to mask my laughter as sobbing, for the sake of his parents. I don't remember the joke, but I do remember the tension and emotions that were released, and I'm grateful to my sister for that moment. Admittedly, dark humor was par for the course growing up. We had a lot of tragedies, and it was absolutely laugh or lay down and die. So we laughed.
Thanks for your story. 40+ yrs ago my brother in law died. I sat next to my sister and quietly cracked one liners to help her get through his funeral but always felt guilty about it. Dark humor is the doorway out of an unbearable experience.
I was with a friend at her father's funeral. Very very hard time for everybody of course. I learned over to her at one point and whispered "Do you think your dad would like to see the lipstick on his lips?' she literally burst out laughing very very hard. She's not a quiet person anyways. Everybody was looking over and I just grabbed their head tugged in underneath my arm and she said she's crying really hard. Nobody questioned what happened they know me enough to know I said something. They know her enough to know it was necessary. Family understands most of the time. Thankfully her did. I do it again in a heartbeat.
At my grandmothers funeral (the day right after my father-in-law died of cancer), I told a joke we used to tell about her when she was still alive. It was the only thing I could do to not collapse right then and there. I got looks that wished me dead, but I didn't care. I needed that stupid little joke.
@@Someone-sc2hk No, the other option would be to break down, getting destroyed by feelings you weren't prepared to feel, not sure if you are able to recover. Grief is a strange thing and everyone processes it differently. Some need to cry, some to laugh, some to make fun about a person they loved so much, just imagining a life without them is impossible.
"Gallows humor" is a perfectly acceptable way of dealing with stress. You just have to be careful when and where you use it because many people won't understand why we use it.
Dark humor is the only way to deal with the atrocities we see then get ourselves together to put on a smile and address the next patient. And to handle the abuse from patients and families. I’m retired critical care / ER TNS. Saw a lot of horrid things in my lifetime working at level 1 and 2 trauma centers. My family couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to watch reality shows about rescuing people and hospital dramas that were so inaccurate as to be ridiculous.
I went from the Army to being a cop. At my oral board my dark sense of humor came up. Apparently my references snitched. So I explained that I had seen children blown up and dismembered and that if I didn’t have a dark sense of humor I wouldn’t have been able to cope. I got the job.
My brother is a cop. He told me the psyhc eval is more to make sure you're just the right amount of crazy to be able to do the job. I was filling out paperwork to apply to a department and after a 4 hour car ride talking with him I realized I was not the type to be a cop. For you and the others that walk that path and do it with all your heart I say bless you and thanks.
I did my first post mortem preparation the other day and it as so freaking heavy in the room one of the girls made a comment that wasn’t supposed to be funny but we all just started laughing because in that moment what else could we do? Dark humor has become a staple of our days.
I once had a patient die just before dinner service. Charge nurse told us to hold off on the post mortem until after service. While filling the basin for the post mortem bath, I heard a strange noise coming from the body. I looked over and the body that had been there for over an hour started vomiting the foulest smelling vomit. We figured it was his final F. U. to the geriatric menu
I’m not a healthcare worker just your average civilian and dark humor helps me get through life too. I can only imagine how necessary it is to keep a sane and positive outlook in those fields.
I've had an idea for a while for a T-shirt for arm amputees. It has an arrow pointing to the side with the prosthetic along with the text "Don't make me slap you with my other hand".
This is 💯 true, I think all of us in these lines of work have at least some level of PTSD and this is how we deal. I was a surgical tech and the dark humor thing is totally real. I got out of it almost three years ago and it took a long time to decompress and realize not everyone else functions that way.
I thought I had dark humor before I came to EMS. I’ll never forget my first real dark “joke” and the relief of tension. It was my first code, esophageal varicies. We got back to station, everything was too quiet and my medic goes “ah damnit, Jordan, you’ll never guess what I’ve got on my pants” and I replied “oh I don’t know Troy, is it a shit load of blood?” without thinking. We both laughed, and I knew I was going to be okay. I still had the nightmares for the first week, but that moment let me know I was going to be okay.
They should call esophageal varices something more menacing like... bleeding inside holes you cannot pack with gauze... Then people would understand what medics are up against. Especially when that patient chokes on blood and spews/coughs a load in your visor. (which I hope to God you are wearing)
@@ralphralpherson9441 unless you have a Blakemore tube on hand, it's a pretty messy way to go. My mum had one die in front of her, in the '70s and she'll still remember it.
On behalf of my godfather, godmother, and far too many aunts and uncles than one kid should have- thank you. Our family gatherings were hilarious. In particular for my godfather, who was involved in a very aggressive and fast moving fire that is covered by creators today. Understandably so. However when I watch it all I remember is racing to a hospital. As the fire had reached a questionable container that blew and kicked him two floors down. Though heavily sedated and in the ICU he still managed to crack a joke to a terrified 7yo me, “It’s okay sunshine, and at least it didn’t get my good side.”🚨
As a funeral director, this speaks to my soul. Dark humor is not something that I can share with most of the people I know, but it is part of how I stay sane.
When I got into my profession of working with severely disabled kids, my coworker gave me the best advice: you either laugh or you cry. Let me tell you, laughing keeps you sane. Without dark humor, it can break you quickly. I cant imagine being a nurse, doctor, police, military, or firefighter.
I've seen the same thing with my mother. She used to work with old dementic people and was just not the type for dark humor, so she only became more depressed as time went on and which was only worsened by an unfriendly work environment. In the end, she quit and is now way more happy working with children.
@@b.h.4249 yes I find that you have to laugh at hard times. My staff was great at keeping spirits up even during the hardest of times I'm happy your mom is enjoying her new job. Some jobs are just right for people and sometimes jobs just don't work out
I married a volunteer firefighter, then I surprised us both by joining the department too. After we “squirreled” yet another call coming home from my parents’ house, this one a three-car pileup on the Beltway that involved my doing CPR on an ejection patient in the middle of an overpass during a raging thunderstorm while my husband triaged the other 7 accident victims (did I mention that this was also during rush hour so that the responding units took forever to get there due to the massive traffic backup?), my mom asked me “Do you two go looking for trouble?” My reply was “No, it pretty much knows where we are nine days out of ten!”
My Fiancee deals with my dark humor alot, and thankfully she laughs with it, or just shakes her head. I think she realized it helps me make sense of life.
There's always that one person who asks "what's the worst thing you've ever seen?" and when you laugh while telling the story they have that glazed look on their face.
I always give them a middle-of-the-road story. No, not that guy I found in the middle of the road. They can't handle that. I mean "not the actual worst I've seen, but something just barely within what my listeners' sensibilities can handle."
Whenever someone asked me that I would put on the most serious face I could and then say "the worst thing I have ever seen is blury pictures of Bigfoot. You would think that with technology today people would just use autofocus. It haunts me" 😜
@@RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber no worries☺ you see, the hardest thing about that question is you never know what the person's level of "cringe" is so if you say something absurd like that they often never ask again and you don't have to retraumatise yourself going through a list of crazy s%&t you've seen in your head☺
My response is always the same: "I have seen some shit, and I don't think you want to know. Better yet, you _DO NOT_ want to go to Liveleak under any circumstances." Saying all this in a sarcastic tone, if they've never heard of liveleak they will look it up later that day, and the face they have when they come back makes you chuckle, easiest trauma inducing "I told ya so" setup I can think of.
my dad just died 6 weeks ago. I am 23 and miss my old man. He was 45 with no under lying cardiac problems. I make fucked up jokes all the time to deal with his loss. Other days I just laugh and remember the good times. I just go with the flow. He was a good man and I wanna make him proud. I think dark humor is key to survive in such a harsh and sad environment. WE also just got ROSC on 57 year old witnessed code about 30 min before writing this comment. I want him to live so bad but was still making fucked up jokes after the call too deal with my emotions. I feel bad when people don't understand the dark humor but that's life. Maybe we as medical professionals and military are just built different. I love you all and hope you are well. Be safe and tHaNK YoU FoR YoURe SeRviCE :D
I hope he’s resting easy now. And I also hope that the guy the patient who got ROSC stays alive. It’s in an incredible feeling when they get a pulse back don’t let yourself think you did anything wrong if their heart can’t take it. You did everything you could!
Dude, I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you mind if I ask what happened to your old man? 45 is young bro. You mentioned no underlying cardiac problems, was it an MI? Regardless, Im sorry for your loss brother. Congrats on your successful revival on the 57M patient. Hope he pulls through.
Tell you right now, he's laughing at your jokes and knows you'll be ok if you persist in being you. I lost mine when he was 52, never got to know him, really, as an adult. Been a long time and I STILL make bad jokes to deflect the pain. It never really goes away--but we can manage it, and eventually, we can miss them without winding up on the floor. Never hesitate to get help--don't ask, just go get it--and I am serious, you'll make it through okay. The darker the humor, the better the friends who get it. :)
Years ago we attended a guy hit by a train; one of about half a dozen such incidents I've been to so far in 23 years. Instead of rolled up under the train, this guy was all clean cut like the work of a butcher not train wheels. Decapitated, severed arm at one limb, hand at the other, one leg at the pelvis and the other at the foot. One torso with one arm and leg. this was near a train platform so we covered the body parts. Returning to our ambulance and still carrying a spare pillow case we saw a dead bird about 100 metres from the incident. Yep, that bird got covered, and Police crime scene supervisor said later he had a good chuckle when the rookie found and lifted the pillow case. Rookie was still learning what dark humour really was! I think every EMS employee can tell their own "dark humour" story. It's a coping mechanism. Take care out there and act on PTSD; don't sweep it under the carpet. Greetings from Australia.
I'll never forget how relieved my mom and her siblings were when my grandma finally died. Grandma had been chronically ill basically all her life (bad kidneys and Chron's disease) yet still somehow made it to 98. You either laugh or cry at some situations. After the funeral they were telling jokes around the table at Grandma's favorite restaurant. RIP Grandma, I hope you're happy with Grandpa in Heaven right now, or at least giving St. Peter hell for not polishing the Pearly Gates right.
back when she was a kid they could actually arrest a child and put them in juvie if there was a custody dispute between their parents. Grandma and her siblings had been arrested at school because her father didn't send them back to their mother at the end of summer, no joke. They spent several months in juvie while the court figured out custody. This traumatized her for life and therefore traumatized her kids and grandkids. great system we have, eh?
As a volunteer firefighter, the folks at my "day job" have said my mind must be a "dark terrible place". They've nicknamed me "Doom" because of my sense of humor. Everything you just said here is 100% accurate! The folks that haven't been there just simply have no idea.
I couldn’t have said it better! I was an ER nurse for 27 years in a Level 1 inner city hospital. Only people who do this kind of work understand where we are coming from! Btw… just found your channel and I love it!
Yeah, I said really evil shit using myself in my own jokes. Most people don't laugh, but I always get them surprised lmao Those reactions make ME laugh, which I obviously enjoy.
@@MiGujack3 I call it a wasted day if I can't get SOMEONE to smile at something I say....and usually, I manage it with...dark humor! Honestly, it's a coping mechanism we all use, no matter the job we have...and I think it's a sign of mental health! Those listening to my jokes might just differ.....;P
Invariably, they succeed! Still there and the last one was a guy on an involuntary hold who said "You can't keep me here!" His 5ft 110lb ass said it to me and 4 other guys weighing 250-350! I thought as you thought, sure enough, he tried, and stayed...
I love how expressive you are. It’s like watching a cartoon, but it’s a real person. (This is INTENDED as a compliment, just in case it doesn’t actually come across as one.)
Reminds me of when I saw the picture of that woman at the Capitol riot who was allegedly trampled to death carrying a “Don’t Tread On Me” flag. There were some mixed emotions there.
@@Slaeadventures I disagree. Consider the definition of PTSD - Post-Traumatic: Yes, there was definitely some sort of trauma involved. Several of them. Countless traumas. Stress: Definitely. Be the one who holds another's life in your hands and tell me you aren't stressed. Disorder: Now there's the catch. Do people who utilize dark humor have a disorder? Or is it a coping mechanism to prevent mental breakdowns? Sure, we may seem abnormal to those who don't/can't deal with all the crap we see on a regular basis, but does that really make us deviant? I don't think it does. Different isn't wrong, just different.
I'll disagree...humour is an adaptive response to anxiety I would suggest (anecdotal) that it changes the way memories are encoded When you remember a horrific event it is the associated humour...even "shared horror with in my small group" ...not frustration...impotence...anger...self-blame that is associated with that memory...so when the memory intrudes...the emotional flood is ameliorated It's that "I should/could have been "better"...more decisive....better informed...more skilled....faster"...that eats at me "I could have BEEN somebody...I could have been a contender...instead of a bum...which is what I am" Accepting that an ambiguous, complex, uncontrollable situation was absurdly beyond my ability to manage...and "I did my best"...I muddled through and laughed at my incompetence Is what allows me (now at 60 years of age)...to stand naked in front of my mirror...in that cold, grey morning light...look deep into my own eyes...and pull a razor across my neck Everyday
@@RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber Does it make us "different" Sure...it make us sociopathic (Not a sociopath...but integrating the traits) "Different rules (norms) apply to us than to "normal" society" As an example When I'm in my ambulance I can drive through red lights I'm special...the rules don't apply So...I'm driving home at 4am....And I've been slamming coffee all night so my tonsils are floating in urine And it's a red light...but NO ONE is on the road And I've been driving though red lights all night long A sociopath....would have no issues driving though I would suggest we adopt those traits (as do police, soliders, nurses...et al) as a defence mechanism So we can live with ourselves Kind of like the SS guards who could unload box cars of people...then go home and play with their kids We can reconcile our acts by saying "We're not like other people"
@@notlikely4468 Your two comments hit home in very different way. That "a razor across my neck... every day" speaks of depression, dark thoughts, and still chose to be a live every single day. I have friends that have confided in me that they are not afraid of dying, but they still chose life over death, conciously, every single day even if life scares them. If I can help them make that choice, I have done something worthwile. "We are not like other people", with that choice of examples. We can reconcile anything by saying things like "the only good X is a dead X", by claiming "they are not like us", by saying "I can ignore Covid restrictions of this kind, because I am following the restrictions that are not really making any change in my life". And we always judge ourselves by intentions, and other by their actions. Except when we are depressed, then we are just judging ourselves.
My life was saved by people like you last year and I grateful to have people like you on this planet. Thank you to all of you medical care professionals who actually care and do a great job.
Thank You Jason my family has never understood the dark humor that comes with" the job" being a "first responder" . Our way of coping, their way of thinking that we're crazy and unfeeling.
I've had 91 surgeries, 4 nearly fatal health crises, and countless hospitalizations, so I developed a morbid sense of humor fairly young. It made socializing hard, but so did constantly being in the hospital. 🤷🏻😂
My friends and family from outside the EMS or other first responder professions have little to no issues with my dark humor given they are well aware of how it helps me with coping. It is talking about what happens at work that they tend to find objectionable and why my family has placed a moratorium on me talking about work at the dinner table.
@@Sabrelynx. that is usually my twin brother, who absolutely lacks the constitution for medical work of any kind. My instructors at paramedic school were kind of sad to hear that because as soon as I told them I had an identical twin they tried to have me get my brother into the program so they could assign us to a psych rotation together.
Hi again GB. :) We take a slightly different approach at my house. My husband is prior military like me, so he's just as screwy as I am. Naturally the kids picked it up to some extent, so talking about "that guy whose legs were literally rotting" (diabetic gangrene) at the dinner table is just another round of banter. Then I call up my best friend who has DM2 and thank him for taking good care of himself. I think the limit is bad outcomes. If the patient was more or less ok when I transferred care, it's good conversation. If it's that kid who was hit and killed by a drunk driver... that doesn't come to the table. That's a "hug the kids tight and then watch some YT to take the edge off" case.
As an ER RN in a trauma center, the part about the physical and verbal abuse medical workers deal with touched a cord. I'll never understand why so many people think it's ok to treat us the way they do. Verbal abuse and sexual harassment from patients and family happens virtually every shift.
It's fear buddy. They are maladjusted people who never learned to express negative emotions in a healthy way and they are scared to death... so being toxic people, their only recourse is to become toxic and abusive to everyone around them. Get used to it and try not to take it personally. And just think, if they code you'll probably get to ram an endoscope down their throat. That'll be rewarding.
@@jonny87kz That's when you say TO THEIR FACE "Hey, I'm going to be in charge of any INJECTIONS or PAINFUL INVASIVE TESTS that you need, do you REALLY wanna push THAT GUY'S buttons today? Huh?" --- The stunned look of confusion and sudden realization on their face will keep you smiling for weeks.
Same. That shoutout to us nurses was unexpected and got me a bit. I left bedside nursing last year though- this being part of the reason. Maybe if I had a bit more dark humor I could’ve put up with it a bit longer…. Because if we don’t find a way to deal we will leave and then who will care for the sick and injured?
Adrenalin flooding polyvagal freeze state, is the gateway to cPTSD... and there isn't always time or room for an hour of Yoga between calls. The dark humor creates a physiological release to help rebalance the body.
Dark humor is probably the only thing that got me through multiple combat tours to Iraq. Between the sheer environmental differences, extended isolation from loved ones, & being constantly at peak awareness at all times, we would all kick back and laugh our butts off at a slew of horrible jokes.
I grow up in a surrounding where almost all people are working in healthcare. Once a family member had a migraine attack while we were having lunch. We heard him vomiting very loud in the toilet. We asked him if everything was okay and then continued eating. Once I had lunch in a hospital with a few doctors. They were discussing an ugly wound of a diabetes patient while eating. That's when I realised there's nothing that can shock me.
My partner and I had a hot dog with ketchup and melted cheese from the hospital café after attending an imminent birth which ended up as a delivery. I think those in healthcare develop what others consider a "strong stomach" simply because we're constantly exposed to such sights. "Sorry to interrupt your story about the evisceration, but are you going to eat that last sausage?".
I always win the contest at the rabbit breeders' convention (yep, we have 'em) where you all go to a restaurant and sit at a table and then have a normal rabbit-related discussion. The one who clears the tables the furthest away of diners, wins. Shouting is not allowed, but discussing abscesses and so forth while people are eating their cottage cheese gets bonus points.
I need to get to that point still. I can listen to my mom or dad telling their stories whenever. But for some reason while I’m still eating I just wanna stop and stare
When I was going through the academy for the police auxiliary and we were learning out to secure a crime scene, we got to look at pictures from a homicide where the victim was killed by a shotgun wound up the head. Everybody else was grossed out, but I jumped right into lunch at McDonald’s afterwards. Now, I like lots of ketchup on my burgers, but I guess my classmates didn’t-when I took my first bite and some of the ketchup dropped out the other side, half the table cleared out. One who remained asked me how in the hell I could eat after seeing those pics. I told them “Easy-I’m HUNGRY!”
I’d like to add an aspect I believe should’ve been included. That being the people around you as well. Having a support group of people who not only understand but make jokes along side you. Me and my friends use each other as sources of distraction from all the shit. As an EMT, I need a break of laughs after the suicide and overdose calls I respond to
My family is great with dark humor. My husband was in his last few days of life dying of cancer. We were talking about his final wishes and where he wanted buried (back where he grew up or in the local cemetery in our area at that time.) He said, “You can bury me here. That’s fine. But don’t talk to me about cremation because that really burns me up!” I laughed so hard I about choked! Still miss him even though he’s been gone about 13 years.
A man is walking by the local mental hospital. It has high fences but he can hear people chanting, “12! 12! 12!” The man finds a hole in the fence and peers in to see what’s going on. His eye is promptly poked by a patient on the other side and the chanting changes to, “13! 13! 13!”
Why do we sometimes say weird things at certain times? Because we are deflecting that sudden thought from our heads so you don't have to hear about it or live it too. Without dark humor imagine how fun I would have been at the family BBQ the day after pulling 2 DOA out of a car fire without commenting how everything compares to chicken...You never knew. Or why I say "brains" like a zombie when I smell Juicy Fruit gum...it smells like cerebral fluid...You never knew. Some smells will trigger bad feelings. This is why we all have peer groups now...where we don't meet at a bar and drown our memories but learn to deal with it. We are protecting you from us and keeping us functioning and sane for you, our precious family.
Thank you for saving me the trouble of hacking open people's skulls to determine what cerebral fluid smells like. Now all I need do is buy a pack of gum.
Once, my husband had parked to eat his lunch while on the job, he said he could smell the most amazing barbeque that made his lunch seem quite inadequate... then he realized he was parked across the street of a crematorium with its chimneys going. He said "Grandpa sure did smell delicious." And cauliflower going bad smells the same as a long-healing surgery incision.... at least it does to me.
you’re dealing with dark, traumatic situations, you’re allowed to try to feel a little bit better, the change in the mood might even be helpful... ppl are too sensitive, if the guy making dark jokes is the one saving lives, let them be.
One time my dad asked a nurse if he could have a blanket for his cold feet and when she brought it, she stopped short. (Cue a half shocked, half annoyed: "Mr. H, you don't have any legs!") My dad had lost both his legs due to untreated diabetes (yes, he knew it was his own fault on the most parts, it sucked.) and spent long time in the hospital with doctors trying to save as much as possible. Let's just say, it didn't go that well. We have a lot of dark humor running in the family (that's probably what kept us all alive and relatively sane for so long, lol).
Dark humor isn't about making fun of dark subject matter. It's about making it so dark subjects don't have power over you. If you laugh at it, it means you aren't afraid of it, even if it's only for a moment, and you protect yourself so you can go back and help those who need it.
So true. Humor is vital to emotional health. Also, I used to imagine a sheet covering the patient after the call ended so I couldn’t see them when I felt traumatized at a scene. It sounds simplistic but it really helped. Describing a scene in the mildest ways can cause someone much discomfort. Few are cut out for this type of work. God bless you and thanks for your dark humor. I get it!!!!
2nd year student nurse, having just given a patient 2 gastrograffs and w enemas, standing there while this patient is shitting everywhere How can one not laugh when the patient goes "well this is a shit day"
I'm a combat vet and if I were having a day like that patient.. I'd *expect* laughter after saying something like well this is a shitty day lol. I actually think I did deploy some dark humor while in the VA hospital for 5 days for a different kind of G.I. issue - and did get some laughs.
Went through a phases where a lot of patients were dying. In my place of work we did after care for the body, cleaning, changing, putting them in fresh clothes so the family could do a quick viewing before the funeral home came in take them away. After that, we would assist the person from the funeral home in getting the patient into a body bag and moving the body. I started singing Queen to myself - "Another one bites the dust, another bites the dust." Morbid? Yes. Helpful? Also yes.
Would you believe that that song is one of the ones in Spotify’s “Don’t Drop the Beat” list of songs that help you maintain the pace of today’s CPR? I kid you not, and tell me that’s not weird!
@@dragondancer1814 This is the song that always came to mind to help me when I did CPR. Lots of people used Stayin' Alive, but it just never came to me in the moment.
I worked for three years as a security guard in a hospital and I am a US Army veteran. Dark Humour is all that helps some of us pull through, but NEVER think you can match a paramedic for dark humour. I worked with a retired medic and she could top any story I told without batting an eye.
My mom has been working at a psych hospital for about 10 years, and she worked at a nursing home for 20 years before that. Her sense of humor is amazing. I never got to see that side to her as a kid, but as an adult getting to know her has been... an experience. She's awesome and I love her lol
I used to work for a property preservation company, one of the places that gets contracted when people fall behind on their mortgage. We had occupancy vacancy letters that were sent to them after x amount of time just to let us know if someone was still living in the house. Some of the responses we'd get were truly heartbreaking, but after opening hundreds a day you had to develop a way to deal with them. We were seen as heartless and twisted even in our company with how we'd react to them, but a lot of what we'd read was just chilling. Dark humour saves sanity.
A friend once told me the story of a situation her fire-fighter friend had been in, a car accident that had decapitated a man, and when he arrived on scene all the other first responders who were there already were dying of laughter because of the expression on the decapitated man's face.
I've been out of public safety for over 13 years and my dark humor is still going strong. Personally, I like it and hope my brain never returns to normal. And because my husband and I spent many years in public safety, neither of our children will ever know what appropriate dinner conversation is.
During my last Night Shift one of my patients came to me and asked: are you the nurse who tells everyone off to not die cause it’s too much paperwork? I think I may have used that joke a few times during my last 10 years 😂
As a clinical psychologist who works extensively with military and first responders, let me tell y'all the need is real. It may not be polite, but it's real.
My father has been a firefighter for 25 years, the worst story I’ve heard from him is when he had to remove a body from leather car seat, but the body was so badly damaged that it had melted and fused with the seat and just fell apart if they even tryed to move it
I’m from the UK and I worked with a load of NHS nurses, they were the loveliest group of people, just as you’d expect from nurses. After I’d worked there a while I was exposed to their humour. Frankly I was really shocked at first, these lovely people would laugh at the darkest jokes. I came to realise the truth of the saying... you gotta laugh or you cry. I choose laugh too now.
"As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice."
I laughed out loud at this one. Caught me off guard. Thanks for the joke.
I will borrow this
Welcome to anytown morgue and taco shop
Where yesterday's grief is today's beef
@@cds18forshay78 "Midtown Morgue and Steakhouse. You kill 'em, we grill 'em."
"Gianfranco's abortion clinic and Italian restaurant, where yesterday's loss becomes today's sauce"
"Fourteenth annual Cannibals Anonymous welcomes you to its Meat and Greet."
I don't quite get it
My friend got diagnosed with cancer and he did eventualy die from it. The last thing he ever said to me was " I don't see why people say cancer is so hard to beat, I'm already on stage 4."
he's a legend for that
bloody ripper!
That's a smooth fucker. Rest in peace man.
Damn that’s crazy
This is gonna be on R/madlads or R/cursedcomments
I had an emergency room nurse who used to come to my church. "Good news, Pastor!", she said one day. "We only had 14 suicide attempts this month! That's half as many as last month!"
Cope with this stuff however you can, dude. I've got mad respect for you.
😂
@@Asexual_Lesbian_Pagan Such a fitting username for this scenario
@@LegendaryMike ikr
Just hope that the reduction in "attempts" was not accompanied by a equal raise in "suceeds"
Humor is really one of the healthiest coping mechanisms humans have. Sure beats screaming into the void.
Me, helping security move a corpse: "Hope he didn't have any plans."
Security: "Don't make me laugh while I'm carrying a body. You do NOT want to drop one of these."
There I made your likes perfect
@@theapocalypticfish hehehehehe.....
I would have laugh hard
@@theapocalypticfish i wanna like it so bad
@@assjuice8223 omg 🤣
20 mins after my Mom passed, I looked my sister in her eyes and said "Now we always win the your momma game" we laughed and it made the world turn again.
Yo momma so dead, she visits Mozart's concerts live
@@adamhorvath9699 nice one
@@adamhorvath9699 DEAD
@@halflife103 yeah, she is
@@quinnsmithy8778 thanks :)
When my best friend was murdered by my stepson, her mother and I went on a dark humor streak that made us both laugh until we cried. Then we cried. Hard. Some people just don't understand how dark humor can soothe the pain so well. It soothed our souls so that we could finally accept the awful truth.
I'm so deeply sorry.
I was a Paramedic-Critical for 8 years. EMS/First-Responders and medical personnel in general MUST maintain a level of professional detachment to protect our own mental health because of the absolute horrors we see sometimes. Dark humor is just a different way of describing professional detachment. Its normal and very common.
@@jennifercasia7500 Army medic for 8 years dead baby and male on male ra@e jokes get you through the day.
I'm glad you two managed to process that. Part of me is trying to process that situation, though. Damn. I dont think I've had a member of my family kill another of my family during my life :/
My brain broke reading what you just typed...
"Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it"
This joke is so fucking old and annoying
@@jscott4661 is that even a woosh moment
@@captainclasher6459 no it’s just more of someone who didn’t get dinner I guess
Dear god lmao
Oh god. Dark Humor explained with dark humor.
“We can laugh about everything. We must laugh about everything. Even death. Especially death. For when has death shown any qualms about laughing at us?”
I like that. That's deep. Is that your material or quoted? (Google has failed me; I can't find source material.)
@@RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber It’s quoted, though I have no idea of the source
Thats a great quote
Why Skulls are grinning. Death knows the punchline.
@@nicholasavasthi9879 i'd say it sounds like Shakespeare, it doesn't have his style of wording
When I was 13 I told my grandmother, who was a nurse, an effed up joke. She responded that I was only allowed to date p$rn stars and nurses. When I married a combat medic turned cam girl, grandma said I was a good listener. Proudest day of my life.
👍🤣👍
I snorted I laughed so hard at that.
That last night got me haha
What did I just read?
There is some connection between pornstars and nurses I'm missing
Like, as a nurse she told the nurses are onto this humor, and pornstars as well
If it was a usual cockjoke then why this is related to nurses
as a healthcare worker:
this is the ONLY thing that gets us through a shift. If we don't laugh we'll cry
Amen!! Been there, still doing that.
As a veteran, that’s what got me through my service.
Crying isnt the problem, it's the other coping mechanisms when the crying no longer works.
@@elaineehardt2524 I'm a certified pool lifeguard in Canada, we joke about pool foulings all the time!
Ive been a practicing psychiatrist for some time now. Ive lost two pacients to suicide. My best Friend came to me and said "Man I guess youre not a good shrink lol"
Still cant decide if I should have laughed or slapped him
Dated a paramedic for a while, one time he told me a story about a gunshot victim that said “please don’t let me die man” and my friend responded with “I won’t, because I don’t wanna have to do the paperwork” 😂😂 at that moment I understood the dark humor.
Yeeeeeeah dark humor needs to be securely stowed and out of sight when we're caring for someone.
We laugh our asses off once it's over lol
That was our go to for "don't let me die," "I'm afraid of being stuck," "I feel like Im going to fall" etc. The best part is that it's the truth. Incident reports are no fun; we dropped you, we gotta explain why.
I think that would honestly comfort me a little.
@@Jerkfaceman It would me also! We get it, as men! Even if we arent death-munchers, like these other guys, we still get it!
@@hvymtal8566 Some does, some doesn’t. It sometimes depends on the particular patient and what sort of rapport you’ve developed with them. And sometimes *they* need a laugh, too.
I was working at a blood bank and we were being trained in phlebotomy. When we got to the section on hemophilia I started laughing to myself. That laughter grew into an uncontrollable convulsion and I had to leave the room. When I came back, I was asked what was so funny and I responded "At a blood bank, hemophilia is the gift that keeps on giving."
As a former phlebotomist, thanks for the giggle. 😆
Oh my god, I love you!
@@SarafinaSummers Aw. I love you too!
Oh, that’s good…
I’m a regular blood products donor, to the point where me showing up at the donation center is like a scene out of Cheers. Phlebotomists are some of the coolest and funniest people I’ve ever hung out with. Constant jokes, funny stories, and friendly ribbing.
When I started, I was uncomfortably surprised at how well I was able to handle bad calls after the fact. I genuinely felt like a bad person because I could just go back to work after doing CPR on a child or try extricating someone who was inevitably going to die. I’ve been at it for 9 years, and it took 5 before I realized that me and my guys had a healthy amount of dark humor to allow us to unwind. It’s a natural way for us to discharge the inner frustration and hatred that comes with it. If an occasional dark joke keeps us from destroying our families or picking our noses with a shotgun, then it’s worth it. I’ve come to understand it, and I hope others can, too.
True! It's a pressure release valve. Otherwise we'd be taking it out on our patients or coworkers and that's no bueno.
@Colton Standifird... When you get past 15 years, start looking around and remembering the coworkers that are no longer there, the ones that chose to pick the nose with a shotgun or chose a rope or used a running car in a closed up garage. If you start ideation towards the end of this career choice, get help and support your coworkers to get help, too. There is an epidemic of suicidal thoughts that go past ideation in all the protective services. I lost too many in 25 years in the FD. One is too many. Far better to retire early and live a long life.
Truth! It helps us choose what impacts us.
It's been around for ages, just look at M.A.S.H or read some of the good "realistic" books on war (Väinö Linna unknown soldier, Erich Maria Remarque in the west nothing new...) They are full of the darkest humour
Don't take it so serious. In the bigger scheme of things we Westerners are very sheltered. The world has traditionally been full of tragic events both large and small. Humans once dealt with traumas that would send us to therapy for years, and it's not much better now, in some places. Overall, our civility is a good problem to have, but we should try to keep some perspective.
Dark humor is why funeral directors can look at you with a gentle expression after reassembling a person who went through a mincer. Don't tell us it isn't necessary.
I was a grave digger, and I didn’t have to deal with the bodies, but we had to deal with the families, which is almost worse. We used a lot of dark humor to get through that.
@@DavyCrosier I bet you would have preferred the dead body, I know I would have…
@@kerrynicholls6683 yeah, you’re right.
my parents run and operate a funeral home and i was homeschooled as a child and for extra money i would help with death calls and funerals lets just say in real life the only friend i have is dark humor,
When people find out I was a critical care nurse for 30 years (and on a fire brigade at an oil refinery for a couple years before that) they nearly always ask “What’s the worst thing you’ve seen?” I tell them the worst things I’ve seen wouldn’t let them sleep at night. Dark humor is a finely honed art that lets us stay sane(-ish) and able to (more or less) sleep at night.
I never tried to cushion the answer of "what's the worst you've seen?" Talking about trauma helps you cope right? Lol. Tell them the worst and maybe they'll learn to not do that to someone else. Theull leave or they'll ask more questions about the call and turn into therapy session lol
Exactly. You really, really don't want to know.
Someone asked me what was the worst thing I have seen.
"I have seen what someone looks like after they are ran over by a train."
"What was that like?"
"You know it already, you see it every time you eat spaghetti."
Thats my way of sharing it with other people. :P
Our eldest is an RN. During the early pandemic, she obviously was getting fried, since she was in the ED. She'd transferred to the ED after getting fried dealing with a really nice, sweet teen in the burn unit. Child abuse victim with 80+% burns.
To get COVID after COVID patient cursing everyone out because there's no such thing, it's just a cold and well, patients know more than doctors. Mystifies me, if patients know all that much more, whyinhell are they wasting doctor's time, rather than going with DIY brain surgery?
Then, the teen suicide by hanging victim arrived and she watched his brain herniate.
She called me, normally a calm person, obviously shaken badly and said she couldn't work in patient care any longer and why. I simply said, "You are the best one to ascertain your condition, so if you say you can't do it, you can't do it, move on before you might harm yourself (no suggestion of self-harm, but I'm retired military EMS and saw quite a few (and let's face it, kids are the worst, saw NICU eat professionals as a light snack many times)". She went with a more traumatic position, calling insurance companies to convince them to cover services for patients for a year and change.
When asked if I've ever handled a disaster, it's pretty much, "which class of mass casualty event are you asking about?". Maybe, the day before deploying to the Middle East with our brigade combat team, handling 179 men seeking treatment for a lightning strike on the covered bleachers that were poorly grounded, three evacuated to hospital doing the Funky Chicken?
The armored vehicle rollover, which left the driver with a cardiac contusion and the track commander with an traumatic airway obstruction, plus a dozen infantry thrown about the nice, soft armed interior?
Losing a friend to a similar rollover, both caused by the roadside collapsing under the bulk of their 20+ ton armored vehicle?
Responding to a bombing, well, plenty of parts, but Dr Frankenstein couldn't even assemble a human from that.
Taking a panic mode radio call from one of my junior medics, he responding to a bar bombing, "There's blood all over the place!", totally in overload.
"Is it yours? Then follow your training and protocols, see you when you get back". Had a highly against regulations drink waiting for him when he returned. Patient didn't make it, obviously.
When reading your answer 'you've seen what someone looks like after they were run over by a train', my first thought was exactly that: *pasta bolognese sauce*. 😂
But unless I'm talking to someone in the same line of work, I will refuse to answer such a question. I've seen too much railroad 'accidents' (aka suicides) to remember them all, and I don't want to either.
The first few real associations I have are: BBQ, exploded tomato sauce, pancakes, and looking for Easter eggs.
Jason: “Don’t go posting dark humor on the internet...”
Comments: *Dark Humor*
And thus, people still don't get it and just defeats Jason's message. People here comment edgy shit just to get likes, service members and medical professionals use dark humor to cope. There's a clear difference.
@@Pulang_Diwa a lot of people use humor to cope with stuff, just usually not as brutal.
@@reedy_9619 I know, but in the context of TH-cam comments, what exactly are they trying to cope with? Especially in this video? They're just trying hard to be funny to get likes and it's just sad and pathetic.
@@Pulang_Diwa could be stress
That’s one of the reasons why people spend time watching videos on youtube, some might be attention seeking and some might just be trying to shock (and shock humour can be really funny)
All forms of humor are based in the experiences of people. Humor is age old. Dark humor is a type of humor. Often, dark humor is shared by those who have been exposed to the worst of the human experience. If you haven't lived some of the worst, you probably can't fully understand it. Look away if it offends you. Understand that it is not for everyone but do not deny those that do understand it and live with those certain memories of the very worst.
My brother is a retired firefighter/paramedic. He could tell some stories where you would almost wet yourself laughing so hard. Then you would think: “Oh My GoD! That person died!” He also retired with PTSD, so there’s that.
Sincerely, thank him for his service. In the most important ways...he gave his life .
I read this as 'reta*ded'
My husband had a healthy dark humor/shock humor side to him. I watched him pass away while I was unable to save him. (tried to perform CPR until the paramedics arrived, but we were not able to bring him back.) Anyway, I sometimes feel like I can still hear him in my mind. First time was when I was driving my car from our place to his parents' house the day after he passed. I was going up a hill him and I had driven so many times when I heard his voice in my head saying "You won." I immediately recognized what this meant. He always joked that marriage was just the longest game of chicken that only stopped when one died. I wanted to laugh, but it only came out as crying.
He also drops his poignant comparisons on me here and there too. Bad day? Sucks worse than a hooker with a broken jaw. That's 100% him. Not me.
I also need to get another remains container commissioned for him because I remembered what he said he wanted written on it when he died: "4d6, reroll 1s, drop the lowest" (him and his friends' homebrew rules to roll up a character sheet.)
I get you. I hear my dad every now & then. I inherited his dark humor. "Ol' boy needs a dirt nap..." one of the nicer ones. Often towards politicians.
Bad job interview
Bad day at work
Terrible traffic
But applies to anything
It could have been worse.....you could have shit yourself.
I so wanted to have written on my husband's gravestone "All your base are belong to us." (it is an Internet meme based on a badly translated phrase from the opening cutscene of the Japanese video game Zero Wing.) But I wasn't sure how well the rest of his family would have taken the joke. I think he would have liked it as, one: he is the person who told me about it and two: when we were first dating he gave me "Girl's Guide to Geek Guys" to show me what a great catch he was. 😂 This was a few decades ago, before the rise of Geekdom, where geeks and nerds are cool. This was a time when it was still not cool to know how to program a calculator or write a program that counted down to our wedding date.
My husband cracked a joke that his casket or ern should have the tupperware freshness seal on it.
So his final joke was, "Time to roll up a new character"
Even kids use dark humor.
I remember when a group of friends and I were volunteering and at ''orphans-possible adopters'' meeting and one of the kids yelled ''last to get to the food table doesn't get a mommy'' and started running towards it. My friends and I were let speechless for a couple of seconds trying to process if we had heard right but after that we all burst into laughter.
That little girls is our idol
that's funny af! 😆
There is something dark about adoptions anyway when parents choose the cute-looking ones the way one chooses a puppy.
@@mikshinee87 Pretty privilege has been a thing since the dawn of man.
I was a kid when the space shuttle Challenger exploded. The one that had a school teacher on board and we were all going to learn science with her during her mission.
All of us used dark humor to get through that. We really should spend more time observing how kids process things.
@@oz_jones doesn't make it right
“A policeman investigated a cannibalistic butcher, he made good sausages.”
Classic
Glad that you “linked” that together
Concerned about us not having ethically sourced meat?
Then come down the Hannibal sausage emporium! Where we allow each customer to have a part in the creation process.
It's fun for the whole family...Especially the children...
But what about his prices, though? Did it cost an arm and a leg?
@@contentomnivore that would criminal
@@contentomnivore you could say he had to “sell his soul” for such a feast.
As a frequent flyer (I've got a fun suite of chronic diseases which all present with syncope), I really appreciate that y'all laugh with me. Takes the edge off after trying to convince panicking normal people that face down on the sidewalk really is the most comfortable position for me at this particular moment
Yep, chronically ill as well and trying to talk people out of calling an ambulance is so much fun. Especially cause half the time I'm only doing slightly bad and they are going solely off my skin tone, and my regular skin tone is paler than your average movie vampire. And I already took the meds they can give me anyway.
I feel you! Frequent flyer here, too. I make jokes with the ER nurses and ask the paramedics to run the siren 🚨. It's the only thing that got me through multiple hospital stays after my mom died of cancer.
Same here. Keep asking when my NHS specialist is going for "the old Keller treatment" as it would be cheaper. He isn't allowed to laugh but his crow feet got deeper. 🤣
Thankfully, not a frequent flyer yet, hopefully not for a good long while.
But, due to an adjustment in BP meds, boy can I write a book about the joys of vertigo and syncope, not to mention well, shock BP. So far, the record once I recovered a bit was 60/40, you'll understand why there was a delay in recording that, I hope.
I was a lifeguard in my teens and was asked how I dealt with pulling out drowned victims. With a straight face I turned point towards the ocean and stated, " you wait for a descent wave and ride 'em to shore." The crowd around me gave me dirty looks while my boss was crying and trying not to laugh. He yelled at me in front of the crowd, but proceeded to the other lifeguards what I said. The truth 20 years later I still see the face of the ones who died.
Each and every one. Even the ones who no longer had one.
That's one of the funniest answers I've ever heard!!!😂
I think that response is fucking hilarious!
Knew lots of teenage lifeguards.. none of them had to resuce anybody. Drownings in public areas are pretty rare where I'm from. Where was that?
@Ed-ds3hj We are both late to the party, but drowning in public areas is common it is not always reported, I have experienced it first hand acter going to dive. When we got back to the shore a guy was calling us for help. Me and my sister ran and went to help but he was already dead when we pulled him out of the water, I still see his face and hear his wife crying. (It was at Sodwana Bay in South Africa)
Humor's like chicken: it has more flavor when it's dark.
You know it
I read that as children, I need help
@@superbroadcaster I only realized it after I read your comment 😂
Spicy or extra crispy? 🤪
same goes for people
Every time I have to take my depression pills my sisters go, "Are you taking your normal person pills?" Then laughing at me with pure joy. Not to mention when I got sent to my mental hospital I literally joked the entire time about going to join my kind( the crazys) again. If me and my family never joke about it then we would have sobbed nonstop for hours.
Friend who's an oncologist telling his BFF, the paramedic the bad news:
Doc: Well, it's definitely cancer and it's basically metastasized everywhere.
BFF: Anything at all we can do?
Doc: There's this spa down the road that advertises medicinal mudbaths. I'd suggest you try that.
BFF: Will it help at all?
Doc: Nah, but it'll get you used to being covered in dirt.
Both: Laughing their asses off..........
A man died and well, he wasn't a very good person, so he was sent to hell. He got to hell and was greeted by the devil, who said, "Like upstairs, I to have many rooms and since you'll be here forever, we like to let people choose their own room".
So, he takes the man on a tour, to see all manner of torment and torture, to finally come to a room where everyone is wading around up to their chests in shit.
He thinks quickly, as this is the last room and figures he can grow accustomed to the smell and selects that room.
He gets settled in, figures he was right that he'd grow accustomed to it and figures he got a pretty good deal, considering.
Then, the demon guard stands up and says, "OK, break time is over, everyone back on their knees".
As a survivor of sexual abuse, dark humor has become my staple coping mechanism for panic attacks. My husband comes from a physically abusive family and his humor is just as dark. Our kids think we are weird.
Parents of the Century right there. If i was a child i would want to be adopted by you guys ^^
@@berserkercookie2645 You just brought tears to my eyes. I love my kids and would do anything for them. The oldest is now going to school for DNR (his girlfriend is going to school to become an emt/firefighter) and my youngest wants to become a biochemist.
Stay strong and if humour gets you through, then fantastic. Be funny, be strange, be weird...but be alive and keep going! Your kids might think you’re weird but I bet they love you! You are doing great
@@MelanaC I was just smiling and crying while reading this and my youngest announced to the house that I was being weird again. My oldest said, "Just pat her on the head like we do the dog. She'll be ok." 😂 What would I do without them? I never want to know.
I mean to be fair I'd so much rather hear a dark joke then see someone sad, depressed, or what happens to some other people, being suicidal.
As someone who is planning on going to school to become a *last* responder (embalmer & post mortem cosmetologist), this rings SO true. From speaking to other people who are already professionals, I've heard that humor is by far the best way of dealing with what goes on behind the scenes of every mortuary.
As a nursing student, I have never heard the term "last responder" before, and I think it's a really cool term!
lmao "last responder"
My sister is hoping to become a last responder just because she really hates taking vitals
Please please PLEASE tell me that anytime someone asks you what you do for a living, you tell them that you're a "last responder" and crack a grin when they look confused because they don't know what you mean right away.
@@Keyce0013that's what I'd do if I did.
I was at a fair ground a while back with my family and we walked by one of those Marine recruitment stations where they have the pull-up bar and you could pay $10 to try and hold on for a minute to get a prize or something like that. Not realizing I was speaking out loud I said, “Ten dollars to hang? I can do that for free back home in my closet with a belt.”
Underrated comment of the year, holy shit!
You've inadvertently highlighted an additional set of people prone to dark humor: people with mental health diagnoses. With just one joke or anecdote, we can kill an entire party like it was... well, ourselves. And there'll be someone else in the room who actually laughs or at least gets it, because they've gone through the same shit.
@@vladimirenlow4388 well, if we gotta live with it we may as well try to get a laugh from it, am I right?
🤣 that's a joke I can swing with.
Yes, I did laugh out loud.
The way I've explained it to people is that seeing a someone they know dead on the floor is a rare, tragic, indescribably saddening event. For us, it's a Tuesday. Possibly just Tuesday morning.
True. For me seeing somebody familiar dead is extremely rare. Attending a deceased person happens about three times a week. We've all had somebody ask "have you ever seen a dead person in your job?" then check the look on their face when you answer "every other day". I was amazed when a 75 year old told me he'd never seen a dead person.
@@coover65 A friend of mine had her father pass away recently in the local health centre. She's in her late 40s and he was the first she'd ever seen in her life.
@@keith6706 I guess it's all relevant to where we work. I've never seen a farm animal give birth, so a vet may find that odd. Nor have I seen millions of dollars in precious metals, jewels or cash which security staff may find odd.
The point is, even EMS don't see their loved ones dead in front of them often. Death of strangers is hard but not nearly as impactful.
Only those in war become numb to seeing their loved ones die in front of them.
@@icecl0ud When you go to a deceased patient be it cardiac arrest, obvious death or pre-arrest there's no emotional connection. After 23 years of being a paramedic I just see these situations as part and parcel of a normal shift. I've attended family members but none that were dying.
I was a medic during undergrad and grad school. I was trying to explain to my wife about dark humor, and your explanation was spot on. When I showed this to her, her comment was - "it's just like the Bogart in Harry Potter - make light of it, and it isn't scary anymore." II never would have equated our sick little form of humor with part of the Harry Potter stories, but there you go.
You know, that might just be the best way to quickly and simply convey dark humor, especially in a pinch if one's used it in the wrong crowd. "Oops, sorry, I was fighting my bogart again, please excuse that."
My dad tells me dark jokes all the time. It's kinda hard to hear him though through 6 feet of dirt and a box.
Shitty but ok
😂😂😂😂😂😂
After my grandad passed the preacher at the funeral said he's smiling down at us.
Grandma leaned over and whispered "Nah, he's screamin' up at us."
Sorry to hear you’ve been buried alive. At least your dad still visits
@@drigondii way to turn a trash joke into an acceptable one. Good on you.
I work in a prison and I've seen some stuff, the humor really helps in some situations. The other day an inmate got stabbed in the eye and naturally I respond with "I bet he didn't see that coming."
🤣🤣
As a prison psychologist I laughed way too hard at this. CO's always apologize when they say stuff like this in front of me and it makes me feel bad.
Wah..wah..waaahhh. Trombone.. well, just Wow!.
I’m sure he saw it coming; he just won’t see it coming next time!
He saw it coming....but not for long.
It's worth saying with our out loud voices that IDEALLY, when horrifying things happen, you have the luxury to be horrified. When someone is killed or mangled, you should cry. However, there are those of us who chose to be the person who continues functioning in the midst of that horror. Laughter is a useful alternative to "more appropriate" responses, and allows you to compartmentalize until the work is done. I have, however, encountered several colleagues who used dark humor for less dignified purposes. Often, they enjoyed horrifying civilians with it, which is not (IMO) an appropriate use for it. Other times, they got some kind of sincere pleasure from other people's misery. Some took it as a game, and competed to say something more horrifying than the last guy. On the one hand, games are practice. On the other hand, it's easy to get good at the wrong thing (callousness, rather than compartmentalization). I had colleagues who took a wrong turn along the way and their coping mechanism warped into a sarcastic bitterness that they played off as humor, or an elitist disdain for civilians that they played off as humorous. This kind of work is really hard, and it's very easy to misunderstand from the outside.
Those are the kinds of people I’d redress with something like, learn to crawl before you walk. Most people don’t get it…..I bet you do.
A really well worded statement specifying how dark humour can be bad and not just a coping mechanism without risk.
My sister cracked a joke to me at my first husband's funeral. You guys, I had to mask my laughter as sobbing, for the sake of his parents. I don't remember the joke, but I do remember the tension and emotions that were released, and I'm grateful to my sister for that moment.
Admittedly, dark humor was par for the course growing up. We had a lot of tragedies, and it was absolutely laugh or lay down and die. So we laughed.
Thanks for your story. 40+ yrs ago my brother in law died. I sat next to my sister and quietly cracked one liners to help her get through his funeral but always felt guilty about it. Dark humor is the doorway out of an unbearable experience.
I was with a friend at her father's funeral. Very very hard time for everybody of course. I learned over to her at one point and whispered "Do you think your dad would like to see the lipstick on his lips?' she literally burst out laughing very very hard. She's not a quiet person anyways. Everybody was looking over and I just grabbed their head tugged in underneath my arm and she said she's crying really hard. Nobody questioned what happened they know me enough to know I said something. They know her enough to know it was necessary. Family understands most of the time. Thankfully her did. I do it again in a heartbeat.
At my grandmothers funeral (the day right after my father-in-law died of cancer), I told a joke we used to tell about her when she was still alive. It was the only thing I could do to not collapse right then and there. I got looks that wished me dead, but I didn't care. I needed that stupid little joke.
the second option is just to cry though?
@@Someone-sc2hk No, the other option would be to break down, getting destroyed by feelings you weren't prepared to feel, not sure if you are able to recover. Grief is a strange thing and everyone processes it differently. Some need to cry, some to laugh, some to make fun about a person they loved so much, just imagining a life without them is impossible.
"Gallows humor" is a perfectly acceptable way of dealing with stress. You just have to be careful when and where you use it because many people won't understand why we use it.
Dark humor is the only way to deal with the atrocities we see then get ourselves together to put on a smile and address the next patient. And to handle the abuse from patients and families. I’m retired critical care / ER TNS. Saw a lot of horrid things in my lifetime working at level 1 and 2 trauma centers. My family couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to watch reality shows about rescuing people and hospital dramas that were so inaccurate as to be ridiculous.
I went from the Army to being a cop. At my oral board my dark sense of humor came up. Apparently my references snitched. So I explained that I had seen children blown up and dismembered and that if I didn’t have a dark sense of humor I wouldn’t have been able to cope. I got the job.
My brother is a cop. He told me the psyhc eval is more to make sure you're just the right amount of crazy to be able to do the job. I was filling out paperwork to apply to a department and after a 4 hour car ride talking with him I realized I was not the type to be a cop. For you and the others that walk that path and do it with all your heart I say bless you and thanks.
and in the military, the chance is bigger that something goes wrong when you drive the car instead of where you park it...
I did my first post mortem preparation the other day and it as so freaking heavy in the room one of the girls made a comment that wasn’t supposed to be funny but we all just started laughing because in that moment what else could we do? Dark humor has become a staple of our days.
I once had a patient die just before dinner service. Charge nurse told us to hold off on the post mortem until after service. While filling the basin for the post mortem bath, I heard a strange noise coming from the body. I looked over and the body that had been there for over an hour started vomiting the foulest smelling vomit. We figured it was his final F. U. to the geriatric menu
@@sugarfree8303 🤣🤣🤣
However i end up dying, i hope that my corpse causes a crap TON of cleanup for someone else!
@@flamo3961 once your life stops being someone's problem you're doing your best to make your death be an equal nuisance.
I’m not a healthcare worker just your average civilian and dark humor helps me get through life too. I can only imagine how necessary it is to keep a sane and positive outlook in those fields.
same
Dark humor is like an unvaccinated child, it never gets old.
Haha lol
Very good
This joke is wonderful XD
Mind if I use that one myself sometime
Shit man that's deep.
Dark humor.
Once i saw an armless girl wearing a shirt that said. Look mom. No hands.
Isn’t that just a pillowcase with one extra hole?
@@drigondii ....😐😨💩
@JZ's Best Friend XD
I've had an idea for a while for a T-shirt for arm amputees. It has an arrow pointing to the side with the prosthetic along with the text "Don't make me slap you with my other hand".
@JZ's Best Friend May you explain how a pillowcase is racist?
This is 💯 true, I think all of us in these lines of work have at least some level of PTSD and this is how we deal. I was a surgical tech and the dark humor thing is totally real. I got out of it almost three years ago and it took a long time to decompress and realize not everyone else functions that way.
I thought I had dark humor before I came to EMS. I’ll never forget my first real dark “joke” and the relief of tension. It was my first code, esophageal varicies. We got back to station, everything was too quiet and my medic goes “ah damnit, Jordan, you’ll never guess what I’ve got on my pants” and I replied “oh I don’t know Troy, is it a shit load of blood?” without thinking. We both laughed, and I knew I was going to be okay. I still had the nightmares for the first week, but that moment let me know I was going to be okay.
They should call esophageal varices something more menacing like... bleeding inside holes you cannot pack with gauze... Then people would understand what medics are up against. Especially when that patient chokes on blood and spews/coughs a load in your visor. (which I hope to God you are wearing)
@@ralphralpherson9441 unless you have a Blakemore tube on hand, it's a pretty messy way to go.
My mum had one die in front of her, in the '70s and she'll still remember it.
My first code, I went back to the station to have a cup of coffee ☕
My first code was my first ever run for clinicals in basic school. Talk about getting thrown in the fire.
"We also like being Happy" he says with a mass murderer expression on his face.
On behalf of my godfather, godmother, and far too many aunts and uncles than one kid should have- thank you. Our family gatherings were hilarious.
In particular for my godfather, who was involved in a very aggressive and fast moving fire that is covered by creators today. Understandably so.
However when I watch it all I remember is racing to a hospital. As the fire had reached a questionable container that blew and kicked him two floors down. Though heavily sedated and in the ICU he still managed to crack a joke to a terrified 7yo me, “It’s okay sunshine, and at least it didn’t get my good side.”🚨
As a funeral director, this speaks to my soul. Dark humor is not something that I can share with most of the people I know, but it is part of how I stay sane.
Dark humour is a gift 🎁 share it around, you will find that your not the one with a dark sense of humour.
When I got into my profession of working with severely disabled kids, my coworker gave me the best advice: you either laugh or you cry. Let me tell you, laughing keeps you sane. Without dark humor, it can break you quickly. I cant imagine being a nurse, doctor, police, military, or firefighter.
I put those under the heading of "I admire them like hell but you could NOT pay me enough to be one."
Surgical nurse here, I find your job to be the one I can never do and you have my total respect and gratitude in helping the poor children. Thank you.
@@RICDirector EMT here. They really DON'T pay us enough. And we do it anyway. /shrugs/
I've seen the same thing with my mother. She used to work with old dementic people and was just not the type for dark humor, so she only became more depressed as time went on and which was only worsened by an unfriendly work environment. In the end, she quit and is now way more happy working with children.
@@b.h.4249 yes I find that you have to laugh at hard times. My staff was great at keeping spirits up even during the hardest of times
I'm happy your mom is enjoying her new job. Some jobs are just right for people and sometimes jobs just don't work out
As a psych nurse, I have to be real careful at birthday parties 🥳
My wife didn't understand my dark humor. Then the ems bug bit her and now she knows. We don't get invited to the in-laws anymore so it's a win win.
I married a volunteer firefighter, then I surprised us both by joining the department too. After we “squirreled” yet another call coming home from my parents’ house, this one a three-car pileup on the Beltway that involved my doing CPR on an ejection patient in the middle of an overpass during a raging thunderstorm while my husband triaged the other 7 accident victims (did I mention that this was also during rush hour so that the responding units took forever to get there due to the massive traffic backup?), my mom asked me “Do you two go looking for trouble?” My reply was “No, it pretty much knows where we are nine days out of ten!”
My Fiancee deals with my dark humor alot, and thankfully she laughs with it, or just shakes her head. I think she realized it helps me make sense of life.
There's always that one person who asks "what's the worst thing you've ever seen?" and when you laugh while telling the story they have that glazed look on their face.
I always give them a middle-of-the-road story. No, not that guy I found in the middle of the road. They can't handle that. I mean "not the actual worst I've seen, but something just barely within what my listeners' sensibilities can handle."
Whenever someone asked me that I would put on the most serious face I could and then say "the worst thing I have ever seen is blury pictures of Bigfoot. You would think that with technology today people would just use autofocus. It haunts me" 😜
@@TheMichaelStott I like that! Mind if I steal it?
@@RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber no worries☺ you see, the hardest thing about that question is you never know what the person's level of "cringe" is so if you say something absurd like that they often never ask again and you don't have to retraumatise yourself going through a list of crazy s%&t you've seen in your head☺
My response is always the same:
"I have seen some shit, and I don't think you want to know. Better yet, you _DO NOT_ want to go to Liveleak under any circumstances."
Saying all this in a sarcastic tone, if they've never heard of liveleak they will look it up later that day, and the face they have when they come back makes you chuckle, easiest trauma inducing "I told ya so" setup I can think of.
my dad just died 6 weeks ago. I am 23 and miss my old man. He was 45 with no under lying cardiac problems. I make fucked up jokes all the time to deal with his loss. Other days I just laugh and remember the good times. I just go with the flow. He was a good man and I wanna make him proud. I think dark humor is key to survive in such a harsh and sad environment. WE also just got ROSC on 57 year old witnessed code about 30 min before writing this comment. I want him to live so bad but was still making fucked up jokes after the call too deal with my emotions. I feel bad when people don't understand the dark humor but that's life. Maybe we as medical professionals and military are just built different. I love you all and hope you are well. Be safe and tHaNK YoU FoR YoURe SeRviCE :D
RIP to your dad
Letting that stuff out helps us cope too
May your father RIP.
I hope he’s resting easy now. And I also hope that the guy the patient who got ROSC stays alive. It’s in an incredible feeling when they get a pulse back don’t let yourself think you did anything wrong if their heart can’t take it. You did everything you could!
Dude, I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you mind if I ask what happened to your old man? 45 is young bro. You mentioned no underlying cardiac problems, was it an MI? Regardless, Im sorry for your loss brother. Congrats on your successful revival on the 57M patient. Hope he pulls through.
Tell you right now, he's laughing at your jokes and knows you'll be ok if you persist in being you. I lost mine when he was 52, never got to know him, really, as an adult. Been a long time and I STILL make bad jokes to deflect the pain. It never really goes away--but we can manage it, and eventually, we can miss them without winding up on the floor. Never hesitate to get help--don't ask, just go get it--and I am serious, you'll make it through okay.
The darker the humor, the better the friends who get it. :)
Years ago we attended a guy hit by a train; one of about half a dozen such incidents I've been to so far in 23 years. Instead of rolled up under the train, this guy was all clean cut like the work of a butcher not train wheels. Decapitated, severed arm at one limb, hand at the other, one leg at the pelvis and the other at the foot. One torso with one arm and leg. this was near a train platform so we covered the body parts. Returning to our ambulance and still carrying a spare pillow case we saw a dead bird about 100 metres from the incident. Yep, that bird got covered, and Police crime scene supervisor said later he had a good chuckle when the rookie found and lifted the pillow case. Rookie was still learning what dark humour really was! I think every EMS employee can tell their own "dark humour" story. It's a coping mechanism. Take care out there and act on PTSD; don't sweep it under the carpet. Greetings from Australia.
The bird… nice one!
@@kerebaka well, ya never know if it was or wasn't his bird...
People: weren't you taught about manners?
My grandfather, the doctor, at the dinner table: I have hemorrhoids
I'll never forget how relieved my mom and her siblings were when my grandma finally died. Grandma had been chronically ill basically all her life (bad kidneys and Chron's disease) yet still somehow made it to 98. You either laugh or cry at some situations. After the funeral they were telling jokes around the table at Grandma's favorite restaurant. RIP Grandma, I hope you're happy with Grandpa in Heaven right now, or at least giving St. Peter hell for not polishing the Pearly Gates right.
back when she was a kid they could actually arrest a child and put them in juvie if there was a custody dispute between their parents. Grandma and her siblings had been arrested at school because her father didn't send them back to their mother at the end of summer, no joke. They spent several months in juvie while the court figured out custody. This traumatized her for life and therefore traumatized her kids and grandkids. great system we have, eh?
Damn,grandma's story was rough
By any chance, did Grandma's favorite restaurant serve milk?
As a volunteer firefighter, the folks at my "day job" have said my mind must be a "dark terrible place". They've nicknamed me "Doom" because of my sense of humor. Everything you just said here is 100% accurate! The folks that haven't been there just simply have no idea.
Not firefigher, not paramedic, never seen anything horrible in my life. I just like dark humor
Getting the nickname Doom for that is actually one of the funniest things I've heard in a while. That's fucking excellent my man xD
Best. Nickname. EVER. Please show up at work with BFG division blasting through a speaker
Amen! Brother
Not today HR, not today…
I couldn’t have said it better! I was an ER nurse for 27 years in a Level 1 inner city hospital. Only people who do this kind of work understand where we are coming from!
Btw… just found your channel and I love it!
Dark humor isn't just for military, hospital staff, and first responders. I myself have depression and I do laugh at dark humor.
Same.
Yeah, I said really evil shit using myself in my own jokes. Most people don't laugh, but I always get them surprised lmao
Those reactions make ME laugh, which I obviously enjoy.
@@MiGujack3 I call it a wasted day if I can't get SOMEONE to smile at something I say....and usually, I manage it with...dark humor! Honestly, it's a coping mechanism we all use, no matter the job we have...and I think it's a sign of mental health! Those listening to my jokes might just differ.....;P
Dark humor IS depression. And that’s ok. You’re in good company.
same! i am now on meds, but i make dark jokes sometimes because i feel like i 'earned it' by dealing with a really shitty thing
I worked security and everytime I said " you can't be this stupid" I had to stop I felt I was setting a goal for the next one
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
Invariably, they succeed! Still there and the last one was a guy on an involuntary hold who said "You can't keep me here!" His 5ft 110lb ass said it to me and 4 other guys weighing 250-350! I thought as you thought, sure enough, he tried, and stayed...
I love how expressive you are. It’s like watching a cartoon, but it’s a real person.
(This is INTENDED as a compliment, just in case it doesn’t actually come across as one.)
Responded to a lady that was ran over by 4 vehicles. In the debris scattered around her was a card that said, "get well soon." I chuckled.
I hope that lady Rests In Pieces
@@DimoB8 I absolutely agree with you.
I just read your comment and couldn’t keep myself from chuckling😂
God that's beautiful
Reminds me of when I saw the picture of that woman at the Capitol riot who was allegedly trampled to death carrying a “Don’t Tread On Me” flag. There were some mixed emotions there.
"Dark humor is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it"
That’s awful… But funny! 🤣😂🤣😅
Fucking megakek.
Good one.
British WW1 joke:
_"Sergeant I can't feel my legs!"_
_"That's because your arms have been blown off..."_
"Why are Americans so bad at chess?"
"Why?"
"They lost both of the towers"
Damn.......
*that’s dirty*
That...
Idk
I'm going to hell 😭
Fu- damn man...
It is good tho not gonna lie...
Dark humor: A sustainable coping mechanism, To prevent PTSD
Doesn’t prevent it, only masks it.
@@Slaeadventures I disagree. Consider the definition of PTSD -
Post-Traumatic: Yes, there was definitely some sort of trauma involved. Several of them. Countless traumas.
Stress: Definitely. Be the one who holds another's life in your hands and tell me you aren't stressed.
Disorder: Now there's the catch. Do people who utilize dark humor have a disorder? Or is it a coping mechanism to prevent mental breakdowns? Sure, we may seem abnormal to those who don't/can't deal with all the crap we see on a regular basis, but does that really make us deviant? I don't think it does. Different isn't wrong, just different.
I'll disagree...humour is an adaptive response to anxiety
I would suggest (anecdotal) that it changes the way memories are encoded
When you remember a horrific event it is the associated humour...even "shared horror with in my small group" ...not frustration...impotence...anger...self-blame that is associated with that memory...so when the memory intrudes...the emotional flood is ameliorated
It's that "I should/could have been "better"...more decisive....better informed...more skilled....faster"...that eats at me
"I could have BEEN somebody...I could have been a contender...instead of a bum...which is what I am"
Accepting that an ambiguous, complex, uncontrollable situation was absurdly beyond my ability to manage...and "I did my best"...I muddled through and laughed at my incompetence
Is what allows me (now at 60 years of age)...to stand naked in front of my mirror...in that cold, grey morning light...look deep into my own eyes...and pull a razor across my neck
Everyday
@@RedT...TheOriginal.NotANumber
Does it make us "different"
Sure...it make us sociopathic
(Not a sociopath...but integrating the traits)
"Different rules (norms) apply to us than to "normal" society"
As an example
When I'm in my ambulance I can drive through red lights
I'm special...the rules don't apply
So...I'm driving home at 4am....And I've been slamming coffee all night so my tonsils are floating in urine
And it's a red light...but NO ONE is on the road
And I've been driving though red lights all night long
A sociopath....would have no issues driving though
I would suggest we adopt those traits (as do police, soliders, nurses...et al) as a defence mechanism
So we can live with ourselves
Kind of like the SS guards who could unload box cars of people...then go home and play with their kids
We can reconcile our acts by saying
"We're not like other people"
@@notlikely4468 Your two comments hit home in very different way.
That "a razor across my neck... every day" speaks of depression, dark thoughts, and still chose to be a live every single day. I have friends that have confided in me that they are not afraid of dying, but they still chose life over death, conciously, every single day even if life scares them. If I can help them make that choice, I have done something worthwile.
"We are not like other people", with that choice of examples. We can reconcile anything by saying things like "the only good X is a dead X", by claiming "they are not like us", by saying "I can ignore Covid restrictions of this kind, because I am following the restrictions that are not really making any change in my life".
And we always judge ourselves by intentions, and other by their actions. Except when we are depressed, then we are just judging ourselves.
Retired Funeral Director, Embalmer, Crematory Owner..... If you run out of short stories... give me a ring
Wish I would have found this channel sooner
My life was saved by people like you last year and I grateful to have people like you on this planet. Thank you to all of you medical care professionals who actually care and do a great job.
I have served in the Marines, worked as a firefighter, in a hospital and now a federal officer. This video is spot on. Great job and keep it up.
TYFYS
Semper Fi, brother. Keep on, keep on.
Thank you for your service. Please continue to stay safe!
Rahmbo: You are the pick4 of PTSD. Carry on, Marine.. Continue to keep the faith.
Thank You Jason my family has never understood the dark humor that comes with" the job" being a "first responder" . Our way of coping, their way of thinking that we're crazy and unfeeling.
I've had 91 surgeries, 4 nearly fatal health crises, and countless hospitalizations, so I developed a morbid sense of humor fairly young. It made socializing hard, but so did constantly being in the hospital. 🤷🏻😂
My friends and family from outside the EMS or other first responder professions have little to no issues with my dark humor given they are well aware of how it helps me with coping. It is talking about what happens at work that they tend to find objectionable and why my family has placed a moratorium on me talking about work at the dinner table.
Its not a good family dinner unless you make at least one person loose their apitite.
@@Sabrelynx. that is usually my twin brother, who absolutely lacks the constitution for medical work of any kind. My instructors at paramedic school were kind of sad to hear that because as soon as I told them I had an identical twin they tried to have me get my brother into the program so they could assign us to a psych rotation together.
@@GhostBear3067: Genetics may say what you could be.
Environment determines what you will be.
PTSD greetings from Twinsburg OH.
@@ltmundy1164 Nice.
Hi again GB. :)
We take a slightly different approach at my house. My husband is prior military like me, so he's just as screwy as I am. Naturally the kids picked it up to some extent, so talking about "that guy whose legs were literally rotting" (diabetic gangrene) at the dinner table is just another round of banter. Then I call up my best friend who has DM2 and thank him for taking good care of himself.
I think the limit is bad outcomes. If the patient was more or less ok when I transferred care, it's good conversation. If it's that kid who was hit and killed by a drunk driver... that doesn't come to the table. That's a "hug the kids tight and then watch some YT to take the edge off" case.
As an ER RN in a trauma center, the part about the physical and verbal abuse medical workers deal with touched a cord. I'll never understand why so many people think it's ok to treat us the way they do. Verbal abuse and sexual harassment from patients and family happens virtually every shift.
Yeah that's not cool. You should not have to put up with that :(
It's fear buddy. They are maladjusted people who never learned to express negative emotions in a healthy way and they are scared to death... so being toxic people, their only recourse is to become toxic and abusive to everyone around them. Get used to it and try not to take it personally. And just think, if they code you'll probably get to ram an endoscope down their throat. That'll be rewarding.
@@ralphralpherson9441 yeah, most of the time I can keep a professional distance, but occasionally one manages to push my buttons.
@@jonny87kz That's when you say TO THEIR FACE "Hey, I'm going to be in charge of any INJECTIONS or PAINFUL INVASIVE TESTS that you need, do you REALLY wanna push THAT GUY'S buttons today? Huh?" --- The stunned look of confusion and sudden realization on their face will keep you smiling for weeks.
Same. That shoutout to us nurses was unexpected and got me a bit. I left bedside nursing last year though- this being part of the reason. Maybe if I had a bit more dark humor I could’ve put up with it a bit longer…. Because if we don’t find a way to deal we will leave and then who will care for the sick and injured?
Adrenalin flooding polyvagal freeze state, is the gateway to cPTSD... and there isn't always time or room for an hour of Yoga between calls. The dark humor creates a physiological release to help rebalance the body.
Dark humor is probably the only thing that got me through multiple combat tours to Iraq. Between the sheer environmental differences, extended isolation from loved ones, & being constantly at peak awareness at all times, we would all kick back and laugh our butts off at a slew of horrible jokes.
Military member told me a holocaust joke, but I think yt would nuke my account if I repeat it.
I already told my husband that I want a stand up comedy instead of a funeral when I die.
I love that idea! A funny roast of the deceased at the post-funeral potluck. 😁
Me too
So true ... I was a fire fighter in the Navy and when you have seen true horror your options are laugh at life or go crazy
I grow up in a surrounding where almost all people are working in healthcare. Once a family member had a migraine attack while we were having lunch. We heard him vomiting very loud in the toilet. We asked him if everything was okay and then continued eating.
Once I had lunch in a hospital with a few doctors. They were discussing an ugly wound of a diabetes patient while eating. That's when I realised there's nothing that can shock me.
My partner and I had a hot dog with ketchup and melted cheese from the hospital café after attending an imminent birth which ended up as a delivery. I think those in healthcare develop what others consider a "strong stomach" simply because we're constantly exposed to such sights. "Sorry to interrupt your story about the evisceration, but are you going to eat that last sausage?".
I always win the contest at the rabbit breeders' convention (yep, we have 'em) where you all go to a restaurant and sit at a table and then have a normal rabbit-related discussion. The one who clears the tables the furthest away of diners, wins. Shouting is not allowed, but discussing abscesses and so forth while people are eating their cottage cheese gets bonus points.
@@RICDirector That is evil and I love it.
I need to get to that point still. I can listen to my mom or dad telling their stories whenever. But for some reason while I’m still eating I just wanna stop and stare
When I was going through the academy for the police auxiliary and we were learning out to secure a crime scene, we got to look at pictures from a homicide where the victim was killed by a shotgun wound up the head. Everybody else was grossed out, but I jumped right into lunch at McDonald’s afterwards. Now, I like lots of ketchup on my burgers, but I guess my classmates didn’t-when I took my first bite and some of the ketchup dropped out the other side, half the table cleared out. One who remained asked me how in the hell I could eat after seeing those pics. I told them “Easy-I’m HUNGRY!”
I’d like to add an aspect I believe should’ve been included. That being the people around you as well. Having a support group of people who not only understand but make jokes along side you. Me and my friends use each other as sources of distraction from all the shit. As an EMT, I need a break of laughs after the suicide and overdose calls I respond to
My family is great with dark humor. My husband was in his last few days of life dying of cancer. We were talking about his final wishes and where he wanted buried (back where he grew up or in the local cemetery in our area at that time.) He said, “You can bury me here. That’s fine. But don’t talk to me about cremation because that really burns me up!” I laughed so hard I about choked! Still miss him even though he’s been gone about 13 years.
A man is walking by the local mental hospital. It has high fences but he can hear people chanting, “12! 12! 12!” The man finds a hole in the fence and peers in to see what’s going on. His eye is promptly poked by a patient on the other side and the chanting changes to, “13! 13! 13!”
😆
@@nataliegraham9552 Guess they got both of your eyes.
It's all fun and games, until someone gets poked in the eye with a stick.
Why do we sometimes say weird things at certain times? Because we are deflecting that sudden thought from our heads so you don't have to hear about it or live it too.
Without dark humor imagine how fun I would have been at the family BBQ the day after pulling 2 DOA out of a car fire without commenting how everything compares to chicken...You never knew.
Or why I say "brains" like a zombie when I smell Juicy Fruit gum...it smells like cerebral fluid...You never knew.
Some smells will trigger bad feelings.
This is why we all have peer groups now...where we don't meet at a bar and drown our memories but learn to deal with it. We are protecting you from us and keeping us functioning and sane for you, our precious family.
Didn’t think about the juicy fruit before… now I keep trying to remember what it smelled like before. 😂 lol
Thank you for saving me the trouble of hacking open people's skulls to determine what cerebral fluid smells like. Now all I need do is buy a pack of gum.
Once, my husband had parked to eat his lunch while on the job, he said he could smell the most amazing barbeque that made his lunch seem quite inadequate... then he realized he was parked across the street of a crematorium with its chimneys going. He said "Grandpa sure did smell delicious."
And cauliflower going bad smells the same as a long-healing surgery incision.... at least it does to me.
When people don't get dark humor I'm always sure they never watched MASH.
Dark humor is awesome and I never wanna give it up lol.
Never gonna let it down.
Never gonna let it run around and desert you.
Nice one rick astley
you’re dealing with dark, traumatic situations, you’re allowed to try to feel a little bit better, the change in the mood might even be helpful... ppl are too sensitive, if the guy making dark jokes is the one saving lives, let them be.
You are awesome. Thanks for posting this!!
One time my dad asked a nurse if he could have a blanket for his cold feet and when she brought it, she stopped short. (Cue a half shocked, half annoyed: "Mr. H, you don't have any legs!")
My dad had lost both his legs due to untreated diabetes (yes, he knew it was his own fault on the most parts, it sucked.) and spent long time in the hospital with doctors trying to save as much as possible. Let's just say, it didn't go that well. We have a lot of dark humor running in the family (that's probably what kept us all alive and relatively sane for so long, lol).
Dark humor isn't about making fun of dark subject matter.
It's about making it so dark subjects don't have power over you.
If you laugh at it, it means you aren't afraid of it, even if it's only for a moment, and you protect yourself so you can go back and help those who need it.
"Anti-Bad Thoughts Juice" 🤣
Not with me. Alcohol just amplifies my bad thoughts XD
@@andrewmckeown6361 same with me. Still feel compelled to drink it. Funny liquid that.
So true. Humor is vital to emotional health. Also, I used to imagine a sheet covering the patient after the call ended so I couldn’t see them when I felt traumatized at a scene. It sounds simplistic but it really helped. Describing a scene in the mildest ways can cause someone much discomfort. Few are cut out for this type of work. God bless you and thanks for your dark humor. I get it!!!!
2nd year student nurse, having just given a patient 2 gastrograffs and w enemas, standing there while this patient is shitting everywhere
How can one not laugh when the patient goes "well this is a shit day"
And hopefully said "how much CRAP do I have to go through today?" Id of asked.
I'm a combat vet and if I were having a day like that patient.. I'd *expect* laughter after saying something like well this is a shitty day
lol.
I actually think I did deploy some dark humor while in the VA hospital for 5 days for a different kind of G.I. issue - and did get some laughs.
Went through a phases where a lot of patients were dying. In my place of work we did after care for the body, cleaning, changing, putting them in fresh clothes so the family could do a quick viewing before the funeral home came in take them away. After that, we would assist the person from the funeral home in getting the patient into a body bag and moving the body.
I started singing Queen to myself - "Another one bites the dust, another bites the dust."
Morbid? Yes. Helpful? Also yes.
Would you believe that that song is one of the ones in Spotify’s “Don’t Drop the Beat” list of songs that help you maintain the pace of today’s CPR? I kid you not, and tell me that’s not weird!
@@dragondancer1814 This is the song that always came to mind to help me when I did CPR. Lots of people used Stayin' Alive, but it just never came to me in the moment.
We sang that when we were digging the graves. It was really bad, but it was so funny!
Imagine singing that while doing CPR
This and "stayin alive" were the songs I was taught to do CPR to the beat of 😆
Absolutely 💯, you are correct. People who don't walk a mile in your shoes, have no business judging.
I worked for three years as a security guard in a hospital and I am a US Army veteran. Dark Humour is all that helps some of us pull through, but NEVER think you can match a paramedic for dark humour. I worked with a retired medic and she could top any story I told without batting an eye.
My mom has been working at a psych hospital for about 10 years, and she worked at a nursing home for 20 years before that. Her sense of humor is amazing. I never got to see that side to her as a kid, but as an adult getting to know her has been... an experience. She's awesome and I love her lol
I used to work for a property preservation company, one of the places that gets contracted when people fall behind on their mortgage.
We had occupancy vacancy letters that were sent to them after x amount of time just to let us know if someone was still living in the house.
Some of the responses we'd get were truly heartbreaking, but after opening hundreds a day you had to develop a way to deal with them. We were seen as heartless and twisted even in our company with how we'd react to them, but a lot of what we'd read was just chilling.
Dark humour saves sanity.
A friend once told me the story of a situation her fire-fighter friend had been in, a car accident that had decapitated a man, and when he arrived on scene all the other first responders who were there already were dying of laughter because of the expression on the decapitated man's face.
I've been out of public safety for over 13 years and my dark humor is still going strong. Personally, I like it and hope my brain never returns to normal. And because my husband and I spent many years in public safety, neither of our children will ever know what appropriate dinner conversation is.
During my last Night Shift one of my patients came to me and asked: are you the nurse who tells everyone off to not die cause it’s too much paperwork?
I think I may have used that joke a few times during my last 10 years 😂
You can laugh or cry, but trauma has to be processed somehow.
If my skin was as dark as my humor, I would be a victim of police brutality
😂😂😂😂😂
My husband used to say "my humor is so dark, it should be picking cotton."
A bit forced but ok
@@IDislikeMacaroni would you say I used… excessive force?
@@b1tchymitchy Now you're careening off from dark humor to dad humor.
As a clinical psychologist who works extensively with military and first responders, let me tell y'all the need is real. It may not be polite, but it's real.
My father has been a firefighter for 25 years, the worst story I’ve heard from him is when he had to remove a body from leather car seat, but the body was so badly damaged that it had melted and fused with the seat and just fell apart if they even tryed to move it
Extra crispy
I’m from the UK and I worked with a load of NHS nurses, they were the loveliest group of people, just as you’d expect from nurses. After I’d worked there a while I was exposed to their humour. Frankly I was really shocked at first, these lovely people would laugh at the darkest jokes. I came to realise the truth of the saying... you gotta laugh or you cry. I choose laugh too now.