Zobin_Home School

© 2012/2017 Chris Zobin. All Rights Reserved.
A young alien girl was inside a spaceship that was on interstellar drive. Her controls began to jerk and she plunged straight down to Earth.
I rushed right out to investigate. I saw red flashes, it was getting late. I can see that she’s just a girl - but I can tell she’s not from this world.
I’ve got to have that. I’m gonna take it. I’m gonna discipline her. I’m gonna penetrate her. I’m gonna seminate her. I’m gonna home school her. And I’ll give her an A, a B, a C, a D - just not me.
It was reading and writing and arithmetic. Greek Mythology and metaphysics. But her interest does not last and she prefers television to math.
Her favorite subject was hoplology - the study of armor and weaponry. But then she’d start making a fuss when I’d go back to calculus.
I’ve got to have that. I’m gonna take it. I’m gonna catechize her. I’m gonna standardize her. I’m gonna stimulate her. I’m gonna home school her. And I’ll give her an A, a B, a C, a D - just not me.
She liked Clara Barton and pagan Rome but I can’t keep her off of the telephone. No more video games until we’ve talked about membranes.
I’ll try my luck with chemistry. You’re fluoride-based and it occurs to me that you have two large cavities, hon, where I would only hope to find one.
I’ve got to have that. I’m gonna seize it. I’m gonna cultivate her. I’m gonna examine her. I’m gonna self-proctor her. I’m gonna home school her. And I’ll give her an A, a B, a C, a D - just not me. La la la la la.
Thank you for home schooling me dad. You helped me fix my ship and made me understand that you need help down here. I’ll be coming back! I’ll be coming back! Hoplology. Hoplology.
GLOSSARY
interstellar drive: a setting on powerful spaceships to allow long distance travel between the stars.
seminate: to sow, spread propagate, transmit.
metaphysics: the branch of philosophy that treats of first principles, includes ontology and cosmology, and is intimately connected with epistemology.
hoplology: the study of armor and weaponry.
calculus: a method of calculation, especially one of several highly systematic methods of treating problems by a special system of algebraic notations, as differential or integral calculus.
catechize: to instruct orally by means of questions and answers.
Clara Barton: (1821-1912), pioneering American nurse who organized the American Red Cross in 1881.

[@HiHaven8]

Far out.

[@leftydriftless]

This is incredible Zobin! I've watched it for a third time now... I love that chorus, and how it ends with such dissonance. My favorite scene is when you say "we've got to get this done" in the gentlest tone. The contrast between you saying that and singing was hilarious. Also, liked the midwestern farmer troupe. Whoever did the cinematography is excellent, it's so fucking sharp! There's a bit of nostalgia in this video too, paying homage to the TV show in St. Paul. It reminded me of watching Zobin Alien VHS during a dice football tournament. Coolest ending scene with that drone shot above LAX!! Ground control to Major Z.....

[@Zobin211]

Thank you for this wonderful reply Addi ... that means a lot to me! :)