Mental toughness is something that is really important to me. I am a wrestler and mental toughness is 85% of the sport, and I love mental toughness, I love to embrace the grind, I love the glory rush from the mental toughness when I get my arm raised.
Full Send Filosophy exactly! If there was one thing that wrestling has taught me is discipline and mental toughness. Nothing will be easier but you have to get through it with a strong mind and attitude. Watch Cary kolat talk on mental toughness
I used to believe that success was about ability, mostly, in academic but then I realized that efforts and mental toughness that make all things possible. I learned the hard way to grow, to accept failure and it hurts. Success is about constant growing. It's a great talk, doc! Thanks.
Very powerful speech for those who are open to learning from it. Speaks to me on so many levels. The piece about anxiety and desire for instant gratification (and in some cases - instant validation) is huge. So much fear and inaction because of perceived failure when the failure is... not having the situation go how you want NOW. Not having the recognition that you desire NOW. I love these TedTalks that teach you to look inside yourself. I will try to be more patient. Thank you so much.
Thank you for this talk Dr. Richardson. This is something that I have shown my athletes at times when they think what they are doing is all for not. They often come to me asking "what will I gain out of this," and in the past I would respond with some kind of elaborate explanation to give them that instant gratification. Now, however, all I say is "just wait." I can see the gears start going immediately, and some get frustrated, but those who are truly mentally tough come back to me later and simply say they understand. This talk is something I come back to every so often when I need to hear it myself as well. In my opinion, mental toughness is the foundation for every successful athlete, business person, or any career you can think of. Thanks again Dr. Richardson, and well done.
You are welcome Zack. Thank you for taking the time to write a detailed comment on here. It is not always easy trying to teach people to see the bigger picture and delay gratification, and as you noticed not everyone gets on board right away. However, in putting it out there, you are helping to change your athletes lives for the better. Keep it up!
When our CEO/Founder summarized why he grew his company 300+ times bigger than where he started 16 years ago, he pinpointed at his tenacity, a persistence to push forward until success regardless of failures and difficulties. And I believe that is what you called "Mental Toughness". And "to do nothing" is also what Chinese philosopher Laozi said thousands of years go. You bring new understanding to the ancient wisdom. Thank you for the great speech!
Thank you of the comments, Sophie. I am humbled that you might associate some of my words with great leaders's ideas and ancient wisdom... All the best!
An excellent speech by an eloquent speaker. And indeed embracing failure is pretty much the safest route to success. It actually is the only way to follow high ambitions that might even seem unrealistic. Even if you can't reach the stars - in trying to do so you will at least reach the moon. Failing while giving 100%.
Thank you for the comments Koseiku. There is no easy way to embrace failure, but the attempt to do so, while working exceptionally hard to achieve success, will get you pretty close to those stars!
I am a dispute resolution professional. Much of what Dr. Richardson discusses can help people understand how to approach conflict, both personal and business. Thank you for your 3 principles, summarized at the end. Wonderful talk.
+Nancy Greenwald Thank you for your comments Nancy. Conflict resolution is not easy - empathy for others and certainly understanding for how we function and what gets in our way as humans can help ;)
I love TED Talks. I have learned so much from them. If I didn't watch them, I wouldn't have found out that by boosting physical, mental, emotional and social resilience, we can boost our lives by 7 minutes, which in the bigger picture, could add up to 10 years of our lives. I am all for living longer. Aren't you?
This was exactly what I needed. I'm stuck in a failure mindset, and I've never been able to find the key out of this. I lost so much time wondering what I could do, not taking action? This is going to stop. It's going to be hard, but it will be worth it. Thank you again!
Hi Dora. Thank you for your comments. Taking action sounds simple, but not so easy - if you stick with it, things will change however... Keep us updated how you go!
I cannot tell you how spot on EVERYTHING you have said here is sir-dude. I've been listening to ALL of the Sounds True Series on Self Compassion and the one thing that stands out is that that negative voice should be treated with a kind voice. As if, they said when a child is in trouble, we would speak words of love, kindness and support. Also what Jordan stumbled upon, in his no fear of failure mindset. Being aware that this is teachable, learn able, gives me hope and the reigns.
I cannot tell you how spot on what you say in this video. I've been listening to the sounds true series on self compassion and the one thing that stands out is that that reptilian negative voice should be treated with a kinder voice. As if, we're talking to a child, we wouldn't criticize a young kid. Also what Jordan stumbled upon, in his no fear of failure mindset. Being aware that this is teachable, learn able, gives me hope and the reigns.
Since I discovered Ted talks I've become somewhat of an addict. There's so much useful information and skillful presenters. I rate yours as one of the best. I always go to the comment section to see what others think. Along with some very insightful thoughts, you always find the ones who are needlessly negative. I noticed that you only responded to the positive ones and ignored the negative ones. I assume refusing to give them power. Not a lot of people can do that. Brene brown had a difficult time after her first Ted talk. You have a great spirit. I enjoyed watching you.
Thank you for your comments. I really appreciate the feedback! I am thrilled that you enjoyed my talk and hope that some of the ideas can help make a difference in your world :)
Thank you so much for mentioning the parts of the brain responsible for the emotion of fear. Most videos on fear, anxiety, and getting through uncertainty only provide inspirational phrases and nothing on how the body generates fear and what you can do about it. Excellent video, very informative.
This was brilliant. Not because you have a PhD, but because of your ability to get up on stage (fright) and share such groovy nuggets of 'pushing' through the stuff of life. I will say this talk has inspired me to get back on my mountain bike again. I'm 63. this talk was a 'Bookmark' to watch many times over.... to keep peddling, paddling and clear rambling.
Hi Susanna. Thank you for your comments! I am thrilled that you have been inspired to get back on your mountain bike... Went for a mountain bike ride myself today - bit of mental toughness makes those steep climbs go a little bit better ;)
Love your speech ! i believe delayed gratification is a big subject, not only for myself, but for the whole world. Direct gratification, if it insnt about surviving, its mostly about distraction. Distraction from the true calling that we have to take the responsibility for. Its like an addiction to constantly and directly wanting to be satisfied with feeling good, but doesnt get you where you really want to go.
Fantastic talk, I am a sport psychologist and one of the biggest issues I work on is fear of failure. If athletes and coaches can accept that failure is ok and use this as an opportunity to grow, success will come.
Thanks very much for this talk, Dr Richardson. As a huge fan of the work on Positive Psychology done by Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi I really appreciate your taking the trouble to put your own slant on the cognitive aspects.
"if you believe that effort is the key, you're going to see failure as a challenge if you believe ability is the key, you're going to give up when you fail" Great talk. I love it when funny people talk about important things.
Thank you so much for this speech. Yes, I know, but it's so scary, especially when you feel judged. Thank you for reminding me that I am free, there is no threat to survival and I can try again. I will. I used to watch NBA games, too (Michael Jordan, I love you!) But I am not sure about mental toughness. Being oppressed is another story. Sometimes asking for help takes courage, too, and hearing this asking takes a lot of empathy and strength.
As a parent it just killed me to see my kids fail at anything, but that was MY problem and I had to deal with it to let them grow into better adults. I wanted them to learn that when they fail, they had to just work harder at it, or even be creative and find a new way to get it accomplished. Sheryl
ReachConnectUpliftWomen Letting your kids fail is pretty darn difficult! Good work at sticking to it :) I find it interesting, however, that certain aspects of fear of failure are definitely learned and not innate - at one point in life (obvious when we are watching our kids learn to walk), failure was experienced simply as an essential feedback mechanism in the learning process. How did we make it a thing to be so vehemently rejected?!
This is truly amazing. Loved your speech. I am a sport science researcher myself and have been studying mental toughness through research journals. Your speech brings to a whole new level on Mental Toughness :-) Thank you. You are an Inspiration :-)
Great to hear! I find that it helps to practice the mindsets like mantras - say them often and wherever applicable - to yourself and out loud to others (if it fits the situation :o)
Hola Sean! I'm from Venezuela and I am a psychology student, I want to be in a TED talk one day, it's one my dreams, I am always searching for information, reading and sharing things with people. I truly believe that we all have a purpose in this world and people need to know that, people need to know that even the smallest action has a meaning. I like the way you approached the subjet, i think it's really helpfull, especially nowadays. Thank u! I wish I could learn more from you.
Hi Sean I just wanted to thank you for your speech it really does put a lot of things in perspective and I can truly understand that in most cases patience and a firm belief in what you yourself can do in life will get you their as long as you are mentally tough enough to accept other people's thoughts and beliefs but still have the courage to go for yours if you truly believe in yours, thanks very much
1. trying over and over and over.... is more important then being naturally gifted. 2. delayed gratification- think about the big picture and what you really want 3. effort over ability. Realize that you are able to change yourself into anything you want.
Being OK with not having what you want NOW. Our change in environment has outpaced the evolution of our brain. Threat to EGO. Accepting failure. Tuning out of compulsions. Effort needs to be celebrated. A world with delayed gratification. Wow love it. Thanks Dr. Richardson
Thank you.. for this brilliant talk, i don't know, everytime i hunt for videos that could motivate me, i end up watching a video by TEDx.... Great speakers, Great work..
Fantastic. I used to be unstoppable but gave it away. You have just set my soul on fire and i will be listening to you in the gym from now on ESPECIALLY WHEN I WANNA QUIT lol - ThankQ thankQ thankQ.
Great to hear that you got some of your fire back! We can all lose our spark from time to time for any number of reasons - we are human after all. To keep it burning, we have to find ways to tap into inspiration and purpose daily :)
Developing and building mental strength and agility (make this a core ability) Fortitude Crafting character with your feet in the fire (so toasty!) Bouncing back from adversity. You are not always obligated to win but you are obligated to keep trying. Be your best every chance you can, that all anyone truly can ask of you. There is no starting or stopping. Only and only, living through your actions. It's easy to miss the Tree of Life when you're staring at the forest. To miss that small Golden Thread of Happiness in stacks of hay. Fun Out Dancing Under Teary Skies. Truly free to feel without restrictions, without holding back.
Hey Sean, I really liked your presentation and your message. I also noticed after looking at a bunch of TED talk speakers, you were the only one who conversed with people leaving comments. Keep up the good work.
Dr Sean you are a rockstar sir! Thank you so much for doing this talk. you put together so many topics and how they interlink. As a fittness trainer and a Coach everyday these fundamentals are cornerstones for growth and development.
+ Thanks for this great talk. This was what Krishna told Arjuna in Bhagvadgita, some 6000 years back. KARAMANYAVADHIKARASTHE MAA PHALESHU KADACHANA MAA KARMA PHALA HETUR BHURMA TE SANAGOSTVAKARMANIYou have the right to work only but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive. Nor let your attachment be to inaction.But anyway, thanks your reiterating this again.
Very thought provoking presentation. Your appeals to delayed gratification are interesting, but one of the easiest distinctions to make between instant and delayed forms are encapsulated in your example of the small and large bowls of candy. Here, there is a choice; now or later and it's purely personal. In more complex matters such as politics and war, the perception may well be that delayed gratification is not possible, just the immediate kind, which also may be outward focused (gain gratification by punishing your enemies for example), even if it doesn't provide any other sense of direct personal gratification. The absence of (or at least the perception that deferred gratification is absent), is key to all of this. That probably requires a different mindset, as it's a significantly different concept to being aware of it and choosing instant gratification in favor of it. It's a great presentation which stimulates much further thought about the subject, even if some of the thinking about it is muddled, like mine :-)
This talk resonated with me more than any other. I have never heard anyone tie in delayed gratification with emotional failure with belief in ability vs effort. WOW No wonder our world is so screwed up! Thank you Dr Sean!
Take a bow man !!!! Never heard a speech better than this, ever from anyone ! In fact what you have said is the exact message Bhagvad Gita gives but is difficult to comprehend for normal people. My humble suggestion is maybe you should read it. It will take your stuff to a different level altogether ... Cheers
This mind set I think will take me a long way. I have been plateauing recently, and that has been killing my will to practice. I think the recent loss at a tournament had ruined my thoughts of gratification (I had planned on winning). The fear of losing has kept me from continuing to play more tournaments but now it seems the only way to win more, is to be okay with losing.
Good to hear you got some insights from the talk Kendrick. The thing about accepting failure, is that acceptance is not the same things as liking. You can still dislike failure, but be OK with it as long as you have done everything you can to succeed. Good luck with it all!
Thank you for your comments, Adrian. Being kind to the negative side of the self is one of the first steps to freeing oneself from its seeming control over you ;o)
+Hamad K Great to hear Hamad. I have worked with a number of med students and doctors over the years - you definitely need to be mentally taught to work in that field!
Dr. Richardson a lot of what you say sounds like the ACT model. I think it has a lot to do with our relationship to suffering which I think you address very well. thank you.
011azr that is "good work" telling dumb stories about *succes* in a fully rotten materially alienated society, without any spirituality and human devotion? Krishnamurti: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Brent Yves I've known holocaust survivors who aren't as bitter and soul sick as you. I wonder how "fully rotten" you'll believe "a materially alienated society" is if you have ever have the experience of dedicated nurses and physicians tending you with compassion and dignity as you wait for your last few days of life to pass. Put Krishnamurti in Dachau for a year or two and see if he thinks the adjustments many of the inmates like Victor Frankl made are not a measure of health. You actually think your bile is some sort of profound spirituality? Bullshit. It's nihilism and misanthropic.
John Carpenter *John Carpenter* ?? (you steal everywhere?) Who is *sick*, my dear friend? your bitter an harmfull irony wil not prevent others from acting and reacting inside a world and inside a politcal system which is fully corrupted and on the borders of extinction, due to wide spread "charming" mental illness (seen in your contributions also,.) ,... Yes "Krishnamurti" would habe been in Dachau or somewhere else, if *THEY* could have caught him, your charming "Overlords" and "HERREN-Menschen" to whom you seem to be devoted in a perfect way, so far,.!? (killed like others, as v. Ossietzky, and so on,...!) *Genocide*: among other things, the killing of people by a government because of their indelible group membership (race, ethnicity, religion, language). *Politicide*: the murder of any person or people by a government because of their politics or for political purposes. *MassMurder*: the indiscriminate killing of any person or people by a government. *Democide*: The murder of any person or people by a government, including genocide, politicide, and mass murder.
I have been watching videos about pasion, success, how the mind works and fools itself, and similar things for about 12h consecutive hours in TED talks.M ost of them comfirmed what I already believed in, or given a new way to explain my knowledge. However, yours, together with the one about fixed mindsets and growth mindsets from Eduardo Briceno (which I feel it's absolutely related to what you comunicate here) have shock me, enough to stop and reflect on my own believes. I have always thought that I got the potential to become anything I would like to, if I put my mind into it. Despite that, now I know that I given up on things that I could have excel in. The moment that strikes me the most is when I was put in leadership of a semipro team in Dota2, an eSport. Before that I was just a member of the team who was enthusiastic with the endless posibilities that the game offered, and since I had good ideas and our leadership was kind of lacking, they put me on charge. Then I became concerned about the results, the outcome of my crazy ideas, and the fear of rejection after a lose, without taking into account the time I would need to refine those ideas or to get a hold of how to lead a competitive team. Not to long after I lost that pasion that I had after becoming more conservative from fear, and left the team since I didn't see how progress could be made from the bad results I was getting. Thanks to you, now I know that that was a mistake. And that if I want to become something big in life I will have to develop my mental toughness. Sorry for the long post, needed to put it into words to make it clear in my mind. And my utmost respect for taking time to respond to other's peoples posts here. Thank you again for the conference.
Thank you for the comments Gerard! It is pretty normal to get so focussed on results that you experience that focus as pressure, which can distract from effective execution. Results are still important for most people, and we like getting the positive results - however, if we stay focussed on delivering the actions that will achieve the results (which is not so easy), good things will come. The tough part is when you are putting effort into good actions and you are not getting rewarded with the desirable results - what do you do then? You have to be able to assess your actions and effort objectively and discern whether you are taking the right actions (ones that will deliver your goals), whether you have been practicing them for long enough (and just have to keep going), or whether there is something unseen that is creating a roadblock. With good assessment of the process, we can determine whether we should keep going on the path we are on and work on our patience or delay of gratification (the results will come in time), whether we should divert the path and adjust our actions to help us achieve the goal, or whether we should choose to leave the path all together in pursuit of another goal. All the best with your endeavours!
I've overcome some very hard times but I feel a little stuck. College has been extremely rough (health and policies). I'm trying to turn into a positive experience (creating a book and made a petition to help others). Hopefully this talk will help (about to watch it)
"What if the prescription they have can do more harm than good?" I've dodged the prescriptions and have never been better since. Thank you for the wonderful talk.
This is an awesome example. Every time I read the Bios’ of great achievers they have one thing in common, they know how to delay gratification. Mediocrity has become North Americas drug of choice, I think we forgot about persistence and hard work. Thanks Sean!
The importance of self-worth that was mentioned in the end really seems to be at the root of most of this. If you lack self-worth, you will not only be addicted to success, quick success, immediate gratification, but you will naturally be more afraid of failure. After all, success was supposed to lift you out of your misery, and how can you make an investment if you cannot trust that the cost will be worth it. How naturally afraid will you be if you fear to fall back into misery in the event of failure. In contrast, the one who already has a certain amount of self-worth, like the one who, metaphorically speaking, already has a little bit of food to satisfy him, may still try to find his way to the big delicious buffet, but there will be less fear of failure, because at least you still got a sandwhich to fall back on. So it really seems that, as the talk suggests, the necessary motivation and drive almost comes automatically once we deal with our emotions, resolve emotional blocks and learn to appreciate ourselves, so that we see ourselves as someone that we want to see succeed in life.
Self worth is a big one in the life of every human. One of the questions that comes up, however, is - How can you build self worth? It is not an innate thing, but a learned thing. The problem is that too many people have unfortunate learning circumstances growing up that teach them the LIE that they are "not good enough" (whether through family dysfunction, bullying at school, or other problematic/traumatic experiences). Self worth does get built initially at a young age, from positive connection to the primary caregivers - (1) being told repetitively that you are worthy of love (2) experiencing from the other's behaviour that you are worthy of love and (3) being allowed freedom of verbal and emotional expression such that you experience that who you are, what you feel and what you say is loved and respected and OK. But, when these early supportive experiences from caring adults, which help build self worth, have been absent, then a person has more of a challenge to build it later in life; however, there is still the opportunity to do so. Some of the keys to building self worth later in life are the following: (1) connect regularly with supportive, non-judgmental people in your life, who accept you for who you are (2) challenge long held feelings of low self-worth and challenge yourself to see them for what they are - artefacts/lies handed to you by experience, not some innate measure of who you are (it is useful to get help to do this sort of thing - speak to a professional - psychologist, counsellor, etc) (3) set yourself up for success - take on challenges that are within your current skill set - things that present some difficulty (so you are stretched a bit, but not too much), and persist at those activities, even in the face of short term setbacks, so that you experience yourself succeeding in them (4) give back to others - when you help others in need, you can't help but feel better about yourself.
Thank you sooo much!This is very inspiring..been a bad week for me. But this gave me a great boost and just renewed my mind that effort (not just talent) creates success. I won't stop then 'till I get there.Thanks again Sir!
I do! And I think that psychical condition of our health is dramatically influencing our performance. I switch to vegan, (not purely yet) and as result stop having problems with jumping of the sugar in my blood, even I'm continuing eating carbs. Also regular breathing exercise, as Qi Kong , or yoga may improve our performance too. Energy level increasing, but staying stable. But, I never thought that just focusing on breathing while performing some task, or even thinking my help so much! I realized that when I'm concentrating my attention on something, even thoughts I'm stopping my breath completely!
Thank you for your comment Laura. Dealing with our inner world is not something easy, nor automatic. Nonetheless, we do have more power than we think to change the way we interpret both our inner world and our outer world experiences, and then act on it! All the best ;o)
Thanks for the question. The deeper answer requires more space than available here. The quick response - distraction/pretending seems to be OK sometimes (really depends on the individual), but generally I do not find it as powerful or reliable as other methods - such as confronting the fear. However, regardless of method, the one that works best for you will be the one you practice hundreds and thousands of times in preparation/practice. Set up your practice situation to mimic game pressure.
Mr. Sean thank you indeed for such an amazing message. In your talk you said "work with your feelings not against them". Could you please explain more about it? Or give an example of how to work with your feelings/ emotions. Again thank you for inspiring me.
Wow.. That was really very insightful talk with great content. It's different in the sense that the speaker enables you to visualise the impact of mental toughness and also concludes with great efficacy ✋🏻
Thank you for the comment Shelley. It is an age old question about nature vs nurture that you raise, and one that confounds a simple answer. It does seem that both matter, and that our behaviours and choices are an integration of both; however, it is difficult to determine the exact balance in anything. What we do know is that there is a significant range of how our genes are manifested, which depends on experience. Therefore, we can all grow and adapt to some extent, maybe to a large extent!
Your talk make me wanna get Dark Souls 3, it´s a very challenging game and previous games in the series I felt impossible and gave up them. But now I think that even a game can make me change the way of thinking
Mental toughness is something that is really important to me. I am a wrestler and mental toughness is 85% of the sport, and I love mental toughness, I love to embrace the grind, I love the glory rush from the mental toughness when I get my arm raised.
Full Send Filosophy exactly! If there was one thing that wrestling has taught me is discipline and mental toughness. Nothing will be easier but you have to get through it with a strong mind and attitude. Watch Cary kolat talk on mental toughness
Thanks for telling us.
I used to believe that success was about ability, mostly, in academic but then I realized that efforts and mental toughness that make all things possible. I learned the hard way to grow, to accept failure and it hurts. Success is about constant growing. It's a great talk, doc! Thanks.
You are welcome Riska! Thank you for the comments :)
Very powerful speech for those who are open to learning from it. Speaks to me on so many levels. The piece about anxiety and desire for instant gratification (and in some cases - instant validation) is huge. So much fear and inaction because of perceived failure when the failure is... not having the situation go how you want NOW. Not having the recognition that you desire NOW. I love these TedTalks that teach you to look inside yourself. I will try to be more patient. Thank you so much.
Thank you for this talk Dr. Richardson. This is something that I have shown my athletes at times when they think what they are doing is all for not. They often come to me asking "what will I gain out of this," and in the past I would respond with some kind of elaborate explanation to give them that instant gratification. Now, however, all I say is "just wait." I can see the gears start going immediately, and some get frustrated, but those who are truly mentally tough come back to me later and simply say they understand. This talk is something I come back to every so often when I need to hear it myself as well. In my opinion, mental toughness is the foundation for every successful athlete, business person, or any career you can think of. Thanks again Dr. Richardson, and well done.
You are welcome Zack. Thank you for taking the time to write a detailed comment on here. It is not always easy trying to teach people to see the bigger picture and delay gratification, and as you noticed not everyone gets on board right away. However, in putting it out there, you are helping to change your athletes lives for the better. Keep it up!
When our CEO/Founder summarized why he grew his company 300+ times bigger than where he started 16 years ago, he pinpointed at his tenacity, a persistence to push forward until success regardless of failures and difficulties. And I believe that is what you called "Mental Toughness". And "to do nothing" is also what Chinese philosopher Laozi said thousands of years go. You bring new understanding to the ancient wisdom. Thank you for the great speech!
Thank you of the comments, Sophie. I am humbled that you might associate some of my words with great leaders's ideas and ancient wisdom... All the best!
An excellent speech by an eloquent speaker. And indeed embracing failure is pretty much the safest route to success. It actually is the only way to follow high ambitions that might even seem unrealistic. Even if you can't reach the stars - in trying to do so you will at least reach the moon. Failing while giving 100%.
Thank you for the comments Koseiku. There is no easy way to embrace failure, but the attempt to do so, while working exceptionally hard to achieve success, will get you pretty close to those stars!
***** that is the exact quote from Bruce that came to mind when i saw this video. Good stuff
I am in tears of relief after watching this. Fear of failure has been such a problem of mine... Not any more. Thank you Dr.Sean!!!!!!
Thank you for your comments Sarah! I am happy that you got something out of the talk. The challenge is to put your insight into practice ;)
I am a dispute resolution professional. Much of what Dr. Richardson discusses can help people understand how to approach conflict, both personal and business. Thank you for your 3 principles, summarized at the end. Wonderful talk.
+Nancy Greenwald Thank you for your comments Nancy. Conflict resolution is not easy - empathy for others and certainly understanding for how we function and what gets in our way as humans can help ;)
I love TED Talks. I have learned so much from them. If I didn't watch them, I wouldn't have found out that by boosting physical, mental, emotional and social resilience, we can boost our lives by 7 minutes, which in the bigger picture, could add up to 10 years of our lives. I am all for living longer. Aren't you?
Very close to the ancient Indian philosophy of Karma Yoga. Effort without attachment to results. Very good speech.
This was exactly what I needed. I'm stuck in a failure mindset, and I've never been able to find the key out of this. I lost so much time wondering what I could do, not taking action? This is going to stop. It's going to be hard, but it will be worth it. Thank you again!
Hi Dora. Thank you for your comments. Taking action sounds simple, but not so easy - if you stick with it, things will change however... Keep us updated how you go!
I cannot tell you how spot on EVERYTHING you have said here is sir-dude. I've been listening to ALL of the Sounds True Series on Self Compassion and the one thing that stands out is that that negative voice should be treated with a kind voice. As if, they said when a child is in trouble, we would speak words of love, kindness and support. Also what Jordan stumbled upon, in his no fear of failure mindset. Being aware that this is teachable, learn able, gives me hope and the reigns.
I cannot tell you how spot on what you say in this video. I've been listening to the sounds true series on self compassion and the one thing that stands out is that that reptilian negative voice should be treated with a kinder voice. As if, we're talking to a child, we wouldn't criticize a young kid. Also what Jordan stumbled upon, in his no fear of failure mindset. Being aware that this is teachable, learn able, gives me hope and the reigns.
Since I discovered Ted talks I've become somewhat of an addict. There's so much useful information and skillful presenters. I rate yours as one of the best. I always go to the comment section to see what others think. Along with some very insightful thoughts, you always find the ones who are needlessly negative. I noticed that you only responded to the positive ones and ignored the negative ones. I assume refusing to give them power. Not a lot of people can do that. Brene brown had a difficult time after her first Ted talk. You have a great spirit. I enjoyed watching you.
Thank you for your comments. I really appreciate the feedback! I am thrilled that you enjoyed my talk and hope that some of the ideas can help make a difference in your world :)
Thank you so much for mentioning the parts of the brain responsible for the emotion of fear. Most videos on fear, anxiety, and getting through uncertainty only provide inspirational phrases and nothing on how the body generates fear and what you can do about it. Excellent video, very informative.
Thank you for the comments. I am fascinated with how the brain and body function to create the world we experience - glad you like the talk!
This was brilliant. Not because you have a PhD, but because of your ability to get up on stage (fright) and share such groovy nuggets of 'pushing' through the stuff of life. I will say this talk has inspired me to get back on my mountain bike again. I'm 63. this talk was a 'Bookmark' to watch many times over.... to keep peddling, paddling and clear rambling.
Hi Susanna. Thank you for your comments! I am thrilled that you have been inspired to get back on your mountain bike... Went for a mountain bike ride myself today - bit of mental toughness makes those steep climbs go a little bit better ;)
Have you kept up with your mountain biking!!!?
Love your speech ! i believe delayed gratification is a big subject, not only for myself, but for the whole world. Direct gratification, if it insnt about surviving, its mostly about distraction. Distraction from the true calling that we have to take the responsibility for. Its like an addiction to constantly and directly wanting to be satisfied with feeling good, but doesnt get you where you really want to go.
+Erik Hilbrands Thank you Erik!
Fantastic talk, I am a sport psychologist and one of the biggest issues I work on is fear of failure. If athletes and coaches can accept that failure is ok and use this as an opportunity to grow, success will come.
+The Sporting Mindset Thanks for the comments - sounds like we share some similar thinking!
The power of delaying instant gratification is an incredible indicator of future success.
Not easy to do Mahir, but definitely critical to success!!
Nothing worth having comes easy.
I really enjoyed the talk Dr. Sean, I would be interested in more of your material if that is available.
Mahir Ahmed Thank you Mahir. More is coming - you can check out my new website www.drseanr.com
Thanks very much for this talk, Dr Richardson. As a huge fan of the work on Positive Psychology done by Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi I really appreciate your taking the trouble to put your own slant on the cognitive aspects.
+Craig Minns You are welcome Craig. Seligman and Czikszentmihalyi have been pioneers in a much needed area of research!
Yes, they have! I'm sure that Maslow would not just appreciate their efforts, he would hail them.And your own. Well done.
+Craig Minns Thanks again Craig!
Self Brutal Honesty is the best Policy for me. One the or maybe thee bravest thing you could ever do too yourself i recon.
i need this more than anything else in my life
Hope it's working for you Danny!
"if you believe that effort is the key, you're going to see failure as a challenge
if you believe ability is the key, you're going to give up when you fail"
Great talk. I love it when funny people talk about important things.
Thank you so much for this speech. Yes, I know, but it's so scary, especially when you feel judged. Thank you for reminding me that I am free, there is no threat to survival and I can try again. I will.
I used to watch NBA games, too (Michael Jordan, I love you!)
But I am not sure about mental toughness. Being oppressed is another story. Sometimes asking for help takes courage, too, and hearing this asking takes a lot of empathy and strength.
As a parent it just killed me to see my kids fail at anything, but that was MY problem and I had to deal with it to let them grow into better adults. I wanted them to learn that when they fail, they had to just work harder at it, or even be creative and find a new way to get it accomplished.
Sheryl
ReachConnectUpliftWomen Letting your kids fail is pretty darn difficult! Good work at sticking to it :) I find it interesting, however, that certain aspects of fear of failure are definitely learned and not innate - at one point in life (obvious when we are watching our kids learn to walk), failure was experienced simply as an essential feedback mechanism in the learning process. How did we make it a thing to be so vehemently rejected?!
This mindset took me years to adopt, but it granted me great improvement in my academic and fitness performances
This is truly amazing. Loved your speech. I am a sport science researcher myself and have been studying mental toughness through research journals. Your speech brings to a whole new level on Mental Toughness :-) Thank you. You are an Inspiration :-)
Thank you Ridhuan! Hope your research goes well.
This was really inspiring and definitely got me thinking positively after a few really lame days. Will try and apply these mindsets...
Great to hear! I find that it helps to practice the mindsets like mantras - say them often and wherever applicable - to yourself and out loud to others (if it fits the situation :o)
thank you very much for the speech.
Ability vs Effort was the most influencing part... I choose to believe in Effort!
PMA..positive mental attitude... Ted talks..
one of favourite TED talks of all time
Thank you! What a great compliment :o)
Hola Sean! I'm from Venezuela and I am a psychology student, I want to be in a TED talk one day, it's one my dreams, I am always searching for information, reading and sharing things with people. I truly believe that we all have a purpose in this world and people need to know that, people need to know that even the smallest action has a meaning. I like the way you approached the subjet, i think it's really helpfull, especially nowadays. Thank u! I wish I could learn more from you.
+Mariana Rincon Thank you for your comments Mariana. Great to hear that you are chasing your dreams :)
Hi Sean I just wanted to thank you for your speech it really does put a lot of things in perspective and I can truly understand that in most cases patience and a firm belief in what you yourself can do in life will get you their as long as you are mentally tough enough to accept other people's thoughts and beliefs but still have the courage to go for yours if you truly believe in yours, thanks very much
Thank you for you comments! Great to hear that you got something out of the talk!
1. trying over and over and over.... is more important then being naturally gifted. 2. delayed gratification- think about the big picture and what you really want 3. effort over ability. Realize that you are able to change yourself into anything you want.
Nice summary of key points!
Being OK with not having what you want NOW. Our change in environment has outpaced the evolution of our brain. Threat to EGO. Accepting failure. Tuning out of compulsions. Effort needs to be celebrated. A world with delayed gratification. Wow love it. Thanks Dr. Richardson
+Super Charged Thank you for your comments - glad you liked it!
it's wonderful speech. you clearly explained, why some people try till end, another people leave in the midst of obstacles
The stuff that really wakes you up and keeps you moving
Thank you.. for this brilliant talk, i don't know, everytime i hunt for videos that could motivate me, i end up watching a video by TEDx.... Great speakers, Great work..
Thank you for the comments Vijay. TED is a great forum - I am inspired by so many of the talks! Glad you like this one.
Fantastic. I used to be unstoppable but gave it away. You have just set my soul on fire and i will be listening to you in the gym from now on ESPECIALLY WHEN I WANNA QUIT lol - ThankQ thankQ thankQ.
Great to hear that you got some of your fire back! We can all lose our spark from time to time for any number of reasons - we are human after all. To keep it burning, we have to find ways to tap into inspiration and purpose daily :)
Thats why we need people like you to brighten up our days and remind us of our purposed - thankQ
Developing and building mental strength and agility (make this a core ability)
Fortitude
Crafting character with your feet in the fire (so toasty!)
Bouncing back from adversity.
You are not always obligated to win but you are obligated to keep trying.
Be your best every chance you can, that all anyone truly can ask of you.
There is no starting or stopping. Only and only, living through your actions.
It's easy to miss the Tree of Life when you're staring at the forest.
To miss that small Golden Thread of Happiness in stacks of hay.
Fun Out Dancing Under Teary Skies.
Truly free to feel without restrictions, without holding back.
I’m really thankful for your comment🤍🤍🤍
I need to say these things to myself.
Hey Sean, I really liked your presentation and your message. I also noticed after looking at a bunch of TED talk speakers, you were the only one who conversed with people leaving comments.
Keep up the good work.
Great timing to be reminded of what is possible with effort and focus and persistence at this time of the start of the year.
Dr Sean you are a rockstar sir! Thank you so much for doing this talk. you put together so many topics and how they interlink. As a fittness trainer and a Coach everyday these fundamentals are cornerstones for growth and development.
Thanks for the comments, George! Really appreciate it - hope you can use some of the topics with your clients.
After you stare at him for a while, you start to think Ben Stiller.
+Backless Chaps Haha! Should have thrown a "blue steel" in there for you.
+ Thanks for this great talk. This was what Krishna told Arjuna in Bhagvadgita, some 6000 years back.
KARAMANYAVADHIKARASTHE MAA PHALESHU KADACHANA
MAA KARMA PHALA HETUR BHURMA TE SANAGOSTVAKARMANIYou have the right to work only
but never to its fruits.
Let not the fruits of action be your motive.
Nor let your attachment be to inaction.But anyway, thanks your reiterating this again.
a much better looking Ben Stiller that is
Why did you have to say that?! Now I cannot unsee the Ben Stiller!
It's the ears.
Clearly I am a victim.
DrSean R You are awesome 👏
This is the best one I’ve listened to and will definitely be replayed multiple times. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Very thought provoking presentation. Your appeals to delayed gratification are interesting, but one of the easiest distinctions to make between instant and delayed forms are encapsulated in your example of the small and large bowls of candy. Here, there is a choice; now or later and it's purely personal. In more complex matters such as politics and war, the perception may well be that delayed gratification is not possible, just the immediate kind, which also may be outward focused (gain gratification by punishing your enemies for example), even if it doesn't provide any other sense of direct personal gratification. The absence of (or at least the perception that deferred gratification is absent), is key to all of this. That probably requires a different mindset, as it's a significantly different concept to being aware of it and choosing instant gratification in favor of it. It's a great presentation which stimulates much further thought about the subject, even if some of the thinking about it is muddled, like mine :-)
This talk resonated with me more than any other. I have never heard anyone tie in
delayed gratification with emotional failure with belief in ability vs effort. WOW
No wonder our world is so screwed up! Thank you Dr Sean!
+welly192 Welly of Mack's PATS? :-)
+welly192 Thanks for the comments Welly!!
Take a bow man !!!!
Never heard a speech better than this, ever from anyone !
In fact what you have said is the exact message Bhagvad Gita gives but is difficult to comprehend for normal people. My humble suggestion is maybe you should read it. It will take your stuff to a different level altogether ... Cheers
Thank you Aditya. I really appreciate your comments and am humbled by any comparison to the Bhagvad Gita. All the best!
This mind set I think will take me a long way. I have been plateauing recently, and that has been killing my will to practice. I think the recent loss at a tournament had ruined my thoughts of gratification (I had planned on winning). The fear of losing has kept me from continuing to play more tournaments but now it seems the only way to win more, is to be okay with losing.
Good to hear you got some insights from the talk Kendrick. The thing about accepting failure, is that acceptance is not the same things as liking. You can still dislike failure, but be OK with it as long as you have done everything you can to succeed. Good luck with it all!
Thank you for your comments, Adrian. Being kind to the negative side of the self is one of the first steps to freeing oneself from its seeming control over you ;o)
Accepting failure!!!! The best advice ever!!! Thank u for yr inspiring words!!
Thanks for your comments Sevi!
No I thank u sir!! Wish u all the best for a wonderful life!!
I needed this motivation for my entrance exam to medical school. This relates so much to my struggle
+Hamad K Great to hear Hamad. I have worked with a number of med students and doctors over the years - you definitely need to be mentally taught to work in that field!
This might just be the best TED talk i've ever watched...amazing stuff
Thank you Milan! I am thrilled that you liked it so much!
adorable speech, it's full of energy, agitation and enthusiasm.
Dr. Richardson a lot of what you say sounds like the ACT model. I think it has a lot to do with our relationship to suffering which I think you address very well. thank you.
It takes a ginormous amount of mental strength for me to even get myself to work every goddamn morning.
The power of thinking right !
OMG I love this guy. I want to see more video of him doing the talk.
Unlike other "motivator", he didn't present cliche, boring, dull, the same recycled stuff again and again. I like to see more of his works.
011azr that is "good work" telling dumb stories about *succes* in a fully rotten materially alienated society, without any spirituality and human devotion?
Krishnamurti: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Brent Yves this is my favorite video to jerk off to
Brent Yves I've known holocaust survivors who aren't as bitter and soul sick as you.
I wonder how "fully rotten" you'll believe "a materially alienated society" is if you have ever have the experience of dedicated nurses and physicians tending you with compassion and dignity as you wait for your last few days of life to pass.
Put Krishnamurti in Dachau for a year or two and see if he thinks the adjustments many of the inmates like Victor Frankl made are not a measure of health.
You actually think your bile is some sort of profound spirituality? Bullshit. It's nihilism and misanthropic.
John Carpenter *John Carpenter* ?? (you steal everywhere?)
Who is *sick*, my dear friend?
your bitter an harmfull irony wil not prevent others from acting and reacting inside a world and inside a politcal system which is fully corrupted and on the borders of extinction, due to wide spread "charming" mental illness (seen in your contributions also,.) ,...
Yes "Krishnamurti" would habe been in Dachau or somewhere else, if *THEY* could have caught him, your charming "Overlords" and "HERREN-Menschen" to whom you seem to be devoted in a perfect way, so far,.!?
(killed like others, as v. Ossietzky, and so on,...!)
*Genocide*:
among other things, the killing of people by a government because of
their indelible group membership (race, ethnicity, religion,
language).
*Politicide*:
the murder of any person or people by a government because of their
politics or for political purposes.
*MassMurder*: the indiscriminate killing of any person or people by a
government.
*Democide*:
The murder of any person or people by a government, including
genocide, politicide, and mass murder.
Thanks -- I am sharing this all OVER the place!
You are welcome Lynn. Thank YOU for sharing :o)
DrSean R Awesome, thanks !
Excellent presentation. Well done, thank you...just what I needed, and I think, just what most people need to hear and understand.
Thanks for the comments. Happy to hear that it was helpful to you :)
Wonderful talk Dr. Richardson; I'd love to have stumbled on this years ago. Thank you so much and take care!
Thank you Debra! I am glad you stumbled upon it now :)
I have been watching videos about pasion, success, how the mind works and fools itself, and similar things for about 12h consecutive hours in TED talks.M ost of them comfirmed what I already believed in, or given a new way to explain my knowledge. However, yours, together with the one about fixed mindsets and growth mindsets from Eduardo Briceno (which I feel it's absolutely related to what you comunicate here) have shock me, enough to stop and reflect on my own believes.
I have always thought that I got the potential to become anything I would like to, if I put my mind into it. Despite that, now I know that I given up on things that I could have excel in. The moment that strikes me the most is when I was put in leadership of a semipro team in Dota2, an eSport. Before that I was just a member of the team who was enthusiastic with the endless posibilities that the game offered, and since I had good ideas and our leadership was kind of lacking, they put me on charge.
Then I became concerned about the results, the outcome of my crazy ideas, and the fear of rejection after a lose, without taking into account the time I would need to refine those ideas or to get a hold of how to lead a competitive team. Not to long after I lost that pasion that I had after becoming more conservative from fear, and left the team since I didn't see how progress could be made from the bad results I was getting.
Thanks to you, now I know that that was a mistake. And that if I want to become something big in life I will have to develop my mental toughness. Sorry for the long post, needed to put it into words to make it clear in my mind. And my utmost respect for taking time to respond to other's peoples posts here.
Thank you again for the conference.
Thank you for the comments Gerard! It is pretty normal to get so focussed on results that you experience that focus as pressure, which can distract from effective execution. Results are still important for most people, and we like getting the positive results - however, if we stay focussed on delivering the actions that will achieve the results (which is not so easy), good things will come. The tough part is when you are putting effort into good actions and you are not getting rewarded with the desirable results - what do you do then? You have to be able to assess your actions and effort objectively and discern whether you are taking the right actions (ones that will deliver your goals), whether you have been practicing them for long enough (and just have to keep going), or whether there is something unseen that is creating a roadblock. With good assessment of the process, we can determine whether we should keep going on the path we are on and work on our patience or delay of gratification (the results will come in time), whether we should divert the path and adjust our actions to help us achieve the goal, or whether we should choose to leave the path all together in pursuit of another goal. All the best with your endeavours!
Yo Dr. Sean, thank you man. I feel stronger everyday
+Khemaran Dinh You are welcome. Thank you for watching!
Thank You so much for your personal reply - I was not expecting that. Your words are encouraging, there is hope for me yet :)
Joe so true we live in a different time. There are so many factors in our society that manifest this instant gratification society of today
Great speech *****. We only fail when we decide to give up. Maximized effort produces maximized SUCCESS.
Thanks for the comments David! Pushing past failure - easier said than done, but the reward is worth it!
An excellent presentation to listen to whilst working through a mountain of paperwork! Very motivational, thank you :)
Glad you liked it Rachel! Hope you got through your paper work ;)
I've overcome some very hard times but I feel a little stuck. College has been extremely rough (health and policies). I'm trying to turn into a positive experience (creating a book and made a petition to help others). Hopefully this talk will help (about to watch it)
Best pump up before writing a last minute essay ever!!
Hope the essay went well! Good to hear that the talk was motivating for you!
"What if the prescription they have can do more harm than good?" I've dodged the prescriptions and have never been better since. Thank you for the wonderful talk.
This should be a mandatory video at every company. Instant gratification has become an cultural illness.
This is an awesome example. Every time I read the Bios’ of great achievers they have one thing in common, they know how to delay gratification. Mediocrity has become North Americas drug of choice, I think we forgot about persistence and hard work. Thanks Sean!
Best Tedx message so far.
Thank you for the comments!
He seems to be mentally strong. And I think that is why he looks so gorgeous.
thank you so much you really changed my life , thank god i found this video.
You are welcome. Great to hear that the talk had an impact, Fez! All the best to you.
This. is the secret to happiness. to focus on the effort and not the reward.
Interesting, informative, and so true accepting failure life begins. Thank you bless you. All your dreams come true.
Phenomenal speech!
Thank you :)
DrSean R
The importance of self-worth that was mentioned in the end really seems to be at the root of most of this. If you lack self-worth, you will not only be addicted to success, quick success, immediate gratification, but you will naturally be more afraid of failure. After all, success was supposed to lift you out of your misery, and how can you make an investment if you cannot trust that the cost will be worth it. How naturally afraid will you be if you fear to fall back into misery in the event of failure.
In contrast, the one who already has a certain amount of self-worth, like the one who, metaphorically speaking, already has a little bit of food to satisfy him, may still try to find his way to the big delicious buffet, but there will be less fear of failure, because at least you still got a sandwhich to fall back on.
So it really seems that, as the talk suggests, the necessary motivation and drive almost comes automatically once we deal with our emotions, resolve emotional blocks and learn to appreciate ourselves, so that we see ourselves as someone that we want to see succeed in life.
Self worth is a big one in the life of every human. One of the questions that comes up, however, is - How can you build self worth? It is not an innate thing, but a learned thing. The problem is that too many people have unfortunate learning circumstances growing up that teach them the LIE that they are "not good enough" (whether through family dysfunction, bullying at school, or other problematic/traumatic experiences). Self worth does get built initially at a young age, from positive connection to the primary caregivers - (1) being told repetitively that you are worthy of love (2) experiencing from the other's behaviour that you are worthy of love and (3) being allowed freedom of verbal and emotional expression such that you experience that who you are, what you feel and what you say is loved and respected and OK. But, when these early supportive experiences from caring adults, which help build self worth, have been absent, then a person has more of a challenge to build it later in life; however, there is still the opportunity to do so. Some of the keys to building self worth later in life are the following: (1) connect regularly with supportive, non-judgmental people in your life, who accept you for who you are (2) challenge long held feelings of low self-worth and challenge yourself to see them for what they are - artefacts/lies handed to you by experience, not some innate measure of who you are (it is useful to get help to do this sort of thing - speak to a professional - psychologist, counsellor, etc) (3) set yourself up for success - take on challenges that are within your current skill set - things that present some difficulty (so you are stretched a bit, but not too much), and persist at those activities, even in the face of short term setbacks, so that you experience yourself succeeding in them (4) give back to others - when you help others in need, you can't help but feel better about yourself.
Thank you sooo much!This is very inspiring..been a bad week for me. But this gave me a great boost and just renewed my mind that effort (not just talent) creates success. I won't stop then 'till I get there.Thanks again Sir!
You are welcome, Quicelyn. Great to hear that you got a boost - keep it going!
5:39 when talk actually starts.
Thank you bro needed this for a class
GREAT message Sean, you are spot on!
Thanks Travis!
So well spoken… Makes me want to give a Ted talk!!
brilliant! brilliant! brilliant!..and so ..just in time!
+Arina Savva Thanks Arina. Glad you liked it!
I do! And I think that psychical condition of our health is dramatically influencing our performance. I switch to vegan, (not purely yet) and as result stop having problems with jumping of the sugar in my blood, even I'm continuing eating carbs. Also regular breathing exercise, as Qi Kong , or yoga may improve our performance too. Energy level increasing, but staying stable. But, I never thought that just focusing on breathing while performing some task, or even thinking my help so much! I realized that when I'm concentrating my attention on something, even thoughts I'm stopping my breath completely!
Thank you for your comment Laura. Dealing with our inner world is not something easy, nor automatic. Nonetheless, we do have more power than we think to change the way we interpret both our inner world and our outer world experiences, and then act on it! All the best ;o)
So much good stuff in your talk Sean. Thanks !! Very helpful in hacking my self defeating learned behaviours.
Thank you for the comments. It is always a challenge to "hack" the inner voice that can undermine you - worth the effort though ;)
Thanks for putting things in proper perspective. Great stuff.
My pleasure. Thank you for the comments!
You can see that the big picture is paradise! so do good bare patience :)
Peace
results driven and actions focused 9:10
Thanks for the question. The deeper answer requires more space than available here. The quick response - distraction/pretending seems to be OK sometimes (really depends on the individual), but generally I do not find it as powerful or reliable as other methods - such as confronting the fear. However, regardless of method, the one that works best for you will be the one you practice hundreds and thousands of times in preparation/practice. Set up your practice situation to mimic game pressure.
Very inspiring Dr. Sean!!!!!!!
Thanks Nuvui!
Thank you Dr. Sean, this was helpful .
Mr. Sean thank you indeed for such an amazing message.
In your talk you said "work with your feelings not against them". Could you please explain more about it? Or give an example of how to work with your feelings/ emotions. Again thank you for inspiring me.
You are so cool and charismatic!
Wow.. That was really very insightful talk with great content. It's different in the sense that the speaker enables you to visualise the impact of mental toughness and also concludes with great efficacy ✋🏻
Thank you Divya. Glad you liked it!
Sean, Thanks for the talk.
Thank you for the comment Shelley. It is an age old question about nature vs nurture that you raise, and one that confounds a simple answer. It does seem that both matter, and that our behaviours and choices are an integration of both; however, it is difficult to determine the exact balance in anything. What we do know is that there is a significant range of how our genes are manifested, which depends on experience. Therefore, we can all grow and adapt to some extent, maybe to a large extent!
Your enthusiasm is making me enthusiastic. :)
I saw "Mental Toughness" and was hoping for Steve Siebold, but this talk was also great!
Thanks Adam! Glad you liked it!
Your talk make me wanna get Dark Souls 3, it´s a very challenging game and previous games in the series I felt impossible and gave up them. But now I think that even a game can make me change the way of thinking
Really motivating and worth watching :)Thank you sir