Argument Engineer | Don McMillan Comedy
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 เม.ย. 2024
- What career do you fall into?
#career #funny #standupcomedy
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🤓Don’s Bio🤓
America's #1 Nerdy Comedian
What do you get when you cross an Engineer with a stand-up comedian? You get Don McMillan. This former chip designer has been doing his one-of-a-kind, PowerPoint-Driven comedy show for audiences for over 20 years. In his show packed with graphs & charts, Don will show you the funny side of your world that has been sitting right in front of you - you are just too busy working to notice. Don graduated from Stanford University with a Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering. He then went to work at AT&T Bell Labs where he was part of the team that designed the world’s first 32-bit microprocessor. He then moved to Silicon Valley where he helped launch the start-up company, VLSI Technology. Then after 15 years in the tech world, Don quit his job to become a stand-up comedian. That year he won $100,000 as the Comedy Grand Champion on “Star Search”. Don’s been seen on “The Tonight Show”, “HBO”, and the “Comedy Central”. These days, Don spends most of his time writing and performing customized corporate comedy shows for companies like Google, Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, Ford Motors, and Exxon/Mobil. Don has performed more than 800 corporate shows in the last 20 years and he was named the #1 Corporate Comedian by the CBS Business Network. - ตลก
Married 31 years today and I've won three arguments. Sooo crushing it!
I'm coming up on 10 years and have earned a total of two "sorries."
@@GoatsAndChickens123 Were you hospitalized by her those 2 times?
@@GoatsAndChickens123 Didn't know you could die twice. How did you manage to do that ?
You win every argument you don't participate in.
@@realmothbuterflithey got some good paramedics where he lives!
Had tears in my eyes. I have argued with my wife over the one argument that I have won and yes i lost the argument about the argument. 😂
Sounds like Pluto saved Uranus...After 46 years, I don't argue. God gave me a limited number of breaths;
Who would have thought a Power Point presentation would be hilariously funny
I was a STEM teacher, years ago. I wish I had this guys material for my classes back then.
My best funny was...
All of the kids were issued chromebooks and we actually had a pretty good Wi-Fi network and I put that to good use. However, being rather rural, the power would flicker off for a second or so, and then all the servers had to reset, which took a few minutes.
This happens one fine day, and one of the kids in the back row, in frustration, yells, "WHAT is WRONG with the internet!"
Sotto voce, I said "You can't get away from the porn."
The kids up front heard and began to giggle. It quickly spread to the back.
My Account missus loved this, DEFINITELY saw herself! 😂
Going on 12 year married here; yet to win one but I am still holding on to some hope
If ya win one ya gonna wish ya didn't 'cause it's gonna cost ya : )
my A+ tactic is (when the bullshitting happens) you say "I am confused, can we backtrack? I want to understand your point of view but I feel like we've moved on to an entirely different course and I'm still stuck on the first one. Be patient with me, please?" be sure to make the please sound as pitiable as possible without being wimpy. Total disarmment, it forces them go either go back to the point, or be the aggressor and you the victim.
Report back with your findings to brainstorm once she adapts
Brilliant on many levels! Love it, Don
A dwarf planet is still a planet.
Also, my wife is annoyed with how often I'm right in arguments.
That's what I said when he said it was a dwarf planet, "well then it's still a planet". 😂
So, how comfortable is your couch? 😂
In that case, you'd better add a few more "planets" to the mobile. Ceres & Eris at the least, and several others probably. But the IAU says a dwarf planet isn't a planet. Just like a tiger shark isn't a tiger. ;D
No, it's not a planet, just like a killer whale is not a whale - it's a dolphin. Names can be misleading. A dwarf planet is a sub-planetary object that is in orbit around the sun, it's massive enough for its gravity to make it spherical, but isn't able to dominate its orbit.
@@Reignspike but a tiger shark is a shark.
The IAU's definition is silly. It excludes Neptune.
😂😂
Sometimes im really glad im not married. I have no tolerance for manipulation.
The number of people say Earth is flat doesn't seem so odd now.
Funniest dang powerpoint presentation I have ever seen in my life. 🤣🤣🤣
oldy, but still so good.
Lets make Pluto great again!
😂
Great routine.
The other arguing option is "I am not playing these games" and walk away. The couch is very comfy. I made sure of that.
Pluto is actually upgraded to a planet again, from what I recently heard.
😆😆😆👏👏👏 yay vein diagram
Pluto is a dwarf planet which is a kind of planet, Pluto is a planet QED.
0:55 I immediately think of Gene Wilder in Mel Brooks' "The Producers", as the eccentric accountant who always needs his security blanket.
"No, I'm not calling you dumb; I'm saying that the categorization of celestial bodies has been reconsidered by an internationally-recognized organization since you learned that Pluto was a planet in school years ago."
"Are you calling me old?"
"GOD-"
Don't let bullies like Neil deGrasse Tyson disrespect Pluto like that. Pluto will always be a planet in my heart and also in the diagram on my old elementary school's corridor because everyone's too lazy to update that 😌
Well, I identify Pluto as a planet. What are you? A Plutophobe? You bigot!
Did they at least add Ceres in there? 😄
@@AdamFuqua This ain't Final Fantasy 6 😆
@@Wecoc1if Pluto should be considered a planet then Ceres, which orbits between Mars and Jupiter, should also be considered a planet. Also beyond Pluto there are other "planets", like Haumea, Eris, Makemake and so on. So let's keep Pluto a dwarf planet or it's getting ridiculous.
It might be laziness, but I'm not so sure. If you tell a bunch of little kids that Pluto, that tiny little planet on the outside, is not a planet anymore, there is bound to be dozens of crying children and angry parents.
Good comedy
Didn’t even bring up that the kids will usually side with mom and tag team you in the argument 🤣
Accurate.
Rowan Atkinson is an engineer, too.
Subscribed
Imagine if there's intelligent life on Pluto that's about as technologically advanced as our medieval period. From their perspective it is the centre of the solar system. The sun and the rest of the planets is a frivolous God that likes to dance around Pluto and tell it how pretty it is.
Pluto is Grandfathered in as a planet, no matter what they say.
Compromise.
Eris is the new planet that's bigger / heaver than Pluto. I'll hang Pluto, if you let me hang Eris.
"But Eris is too new, I only want the old planets."
Ceres was the planet between Mars and Jupiter in the 1800s. It's an old planet. It got demoted to asteroid, and has now been promoted to dwarf planet. Can I add that one too? How about Sedna or Makemake or Gonggong? And the dwarf planet Haumea sounds like it came from a disney movie. Haumea matata means no worries for the rest of your days. It's our problem-free philosophy. Haumea matata. Isn't that a fun planet? Why don't you like fun planets?
If compromise doesn't work, you need to learn how to set your own emotional traps.
Put it this way. Pluto is so important that they had to create a whole new category of planet. First dwarf planet. Don't think of it as a downgrade rather than an upgrade to our science. Pluto is such an underdog that it won the fight and science had to change to fit around how amazing Pluto is
Management and people skills? Show me that manager. Problem solving and people skills is like an arbitrator.
Also there's like the funniest meme picture where a woman asks a man "how did you get so fit" and the man replies "exercise and reducing calories" and the woman replies with a chuckle "no, really, what's your secret!" People really, really don't want their problems solved, they just want them to disappear.
The problem with engineers arguing with women is that they play by different rules. How could you win when you're not even playing the same game and the other party has all the unbalanced cheat codes and trump cards that are like "immediately go to jail without passing the start". Also the worst thing you CAN do is to win one of those arguments with a woman. That's when you're in real trouble. There's another meme about that: on a forum someone says "my wife just said I'm right, what should I do?!" to which someone else replied "say that you're sorry".
My husband says men want to figure out why something doesn't work. Women just want it to work. I think our position makes more sense. It should work. 😀
I can’t take my eyes off the weird, Vulcan grip he has on the microphone
There's a video out there of the leading expert on Pluto and Neil Degrass Tyson having the same argument. Pluto really should be a planet (as should at least most of the rest of the dwarf planets).
Not really. I mean, it is not important first of all - scientists use those classifications (and that's all they are) just so they would have a bit more orderly lists. There is no real scientific reason behind those, because they highly depend on the definition. There are probably more similarities between Pluto and Mercury than Jupiter and Pluto or any other rocky planet. Important distinction is between stars and other orbiting bodies. But between various non-star objects that orbit around a star? Not really.
There is no different science involved - therefore it is scientifically not important. It is just about easier data maintenance. If there is a significant difference, it is between objects that turn spherical due to the effect of their own mass, and those that don't. There is some scientific difference going on there. But between other round objects orbiting a star? Nope.
Should Pluto be a planet? As much as Jupiter should be a dwarf planet. It is just a class division for objects. You can go either way. Scientists really don't care as long as you get the rest of the science right. Those classifications are just there to save us some time - nothing more.
And in case of Pluto, it does save you time if you call it Dwarf Planet and not a Planet. Because if you say it is a Planet, you need to add a few other parameters to fully explain its position and characteristics. While a definition of a Dwarf Planet fits it much better and you have less explaining to do to fully characterize Pluto. And that is the whole point of those astronomical classifications - putting objects into defined groups so they are easier to find and explain, without using more time than it is necessary.
And, frankly, the only people who got their panties in a twist about Pluto are certain Americans. The rest of the world does not care, we are completely fine with the scientific division as it is now. Americans care because Pluto is the only "planet" found by an American. Pure nationalism, has nothing to do with science. Same with using imperial system over metric and many other things. Because 'Murica!
and this is why I have chosen to remain single.
The only time you win is when it's JUST FINE.
The problem with the question about Pluto is that it's a political question.
Pluto is a planet, by the way.
this guy always reminds me of Ben from Viva LaDirt
Hear about Pluto, that’s messed up. -Burton Guster.
Yeah this makes me want to stay single. "Are you saying I'm dumb?" is a manipulative statement that unpacks to "If you maintain your assertion, I will interpret it in a way that will result in you being punished." Of course, the whole thing was a joke, but if you're in a relationship where that happens, consider counseling because that person is not healthy.
My rule for planets, are they the largest object in their orbit, and are they at least twice the size of the next largest object that shares their orbit?
Your wife was right #plutoplanetsmatter
Better to lose a spouse than to be bullied.. But, I mean, marriage is bat-shit crazy anyway, lol
Well my argument is if it’s a dwarf planet is it still not a planet?
Like I look up the definition of dwarf and I get:
A person with a usually genetic disorder resulting in atypically short stature and often disproportionate limbs. - so are dwarf people not people?
An atypically small animal or plant. - are they then not an animal or plant?
And the final one
A small creature resembling a human, often having magical powers, appearing in legends and fairy tales.
…. This is about fictional content so nothing needs to make sense.
Overall they taught us Pluto was a planet forever then try and take Pluto’s planet card away, we’re not accepting the changing of the fact we had been taught for years that Pluto is in fact a planet.
Look up the definition of dwarf planets instead. A dwarf planet is not a planet, just like a killer whale isn't a whale - it's a dolphin. Dwarf planets are an entire new class of planetary bodies, fully disjointed from planets, despite what the name suggests.
They've taught you that Pluto was a planet but back there there was no definition of what a planet is and no other objects around Pluto were known at that time. That's the only thing that changed, we've defined a planet and Pluto simply doesn't fit those criterias. It's just a matter of clear categorisation. It's this simple, nobody targets Pluto on purpose. We’ve simply discovered many more objects like Pluto, on the same orbit as Pluto and realized that something is off with that place - that’s because Pluto is a part of the Kuiper Belt.
This happened before, when we discovered Ceres and called it a planet, later we discovered many other, smaller objects on the same orbit and that’s how we discovered the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. Ceres was then reclassified as an asteroid. In 2006 it was reclassified again as a dwarf planet.
Science is constantly changing and evolving. We keep coming up with new theories and new ways to better describe the universe. What was once thought at schools now isn't correct as we understand it was flawed and we have better ways of describing it. Things change. It's time to accept that.
If Pluto is a “dwarf planet”, then it’s a planet, just like a “white cat” is still a cat…
No, it's not a planet, just like a killer whale is not a whale - it's a dolphin. Names can be misleading. A dwarf planet is a sub-planetary object that is in orbit around the sun, it's massive enough for its gravity to make it spherical, but isn't able to dominate its orbit.
I think it's more how a bobcat is NOT a cat, or how a red panda is NOT a panda.
Seems like everyone is agreeing that this comedy is basically reality, quite sad
It’s not a planet. People need to get over it..
Hot take:
Guy explaining how awful women are and everyone just laughs because it’s true.
I say better to be single than to put up with this shit.