When she was a toddler and was told "no" by her mother, my oldest stepdaughter would throw a hissy fit and repeatedly hit her head on a chair cushion. One time she miscalculated with the wrong chair, caught a wooden armrest, and gave herself a rather nasty black eye. A day or two later, while shopping, a sales clerk asked, "Oh honey, how did you get that black eye?" Her response, "Mommy did it." Small miracle, my wife wasn't arrested for child abuse!
The pie charts about thought distribution are accurate. What we men have to understand is that while we think about one thing at a time, women think about everything all at once. It's a talent we cannot comprehend or master but it's critical to acknowledge.
Side of the globe? Eh? I had just about wrapped my head around the possibility of the earth being flat, seeing as the Flerfers keep telling us all it is flat because they believe it is. Nevermind them using anything as scientific as, well, science. Now you're telling me it has sides? Is it a cube, or could it be a dodecahedron? What next? Will sone lunatic decide it's shaped like a giant hemarrhoid cushion?
Your wife’s pie chart with all those high % values reminds me of a line from the one-man play Defending The Caveman: “Women are not bound by logic.” At first some in the audience react like it’s an insult. The actor in turn goes on to explain it is a compliment: “Men *are* bound by logic.” Which means they are trapped and cannot escape it. Whereas women do not suffer from this as a limitation.
You can be an idiot and do something stupid because you are not blessed, excuse me, bound by common sense. A woman doing a shitty job with a ball and a hoop on a small court shamelessly demands a man doing an outstanding job with a bigger ball on a bigger court to take a pay cut to secure her salary.
They may not be bound by logic but they are firmly rooted in reality which makes it frustrating at times because they cannot imagine what you are trying for them to imagine and shot your hypothetical world building down.
The 80% pie chart reminds of a joke where the person invests half his money in A, half in B, and half in C, Or some such thing where he has a 1/2, 1/2, 1/2 distribution.
I told my wife that I can only do three things at once. Breathing, walking, and seeing where I'm going. Anything else is Iffy. Holding her leaves me, standing, breathing, then, usually, thinking of sex.
Lol this is pretty good stuff you have here One comment though. When you did your wife's pie chart she did 80 80 80. Now if you would have did 90 90, 90 90 you would have had 360 which is a circle laugh out loud
The tale of two brains... Most women actually think about everything the whole time simultaneously. So yes, you 80% of the time, the kids 80% of the time, and any other key interest 80% of the time... 😁
Women are no more capable at multitasking or thinking about multiple things at the same time. In fact, men outclass women in any competition with multitasking elements. Why? That's a good question.
@@ChessJourneymanentirely depends on which kind of multitasking you’re talking about. There are reputable studies from good sources that suggest men being better at certain things like multitasking in video games or manual things that require a lot of switching gears, while women are better at multitasking when it comes to anything communication or information related, switching mental gears. Who has the edge entirely depends on which parts of the brain are being engaged. Which makes perfect sense, because we are wired very differently.
I'm not sure if I'm thinking too deeply about it, or if it was perhaps the whole joke, but I think his wife's main problem with his 'what I think about' pie chart would have been that 'wife' and 'sex' were mutually exclusive.
The only comedian, no, human to ever use powerpoint properly
Nico Semsrott is great, too. th-cam.com/video/MFQPaN3Slws/w-d-xo.html
When she was a toddler and was told "no" by her mother, my oldest stepdaughter would throw a hissy fit and repeatedly hit her head on a chair cushion. One time she miscalculated with the wrong chair, caught a wooden armrest, and gave herself a rather nasty black eye. A day or two later, while shopping, a sales clerk asked, "Oh honey, how did you get that black eye?" Her response, "Mommy did it." Small miracle, my wife wasn't arrested for child abuse!
The pie charts about thought distribution are accurate. What we men have to understand is that while we think about one thing at a time, women think about everything all at once. It's a talent we cannot comprehend or master but it's critical to acknowledge.
thinking about everything at once is basically thinking about nothing. it's a mile wide and a thimble deep.
Talent?
Yeah, about that.
Yeah 😂
Me: Hi Honey, what are you doing 😊
She: Thinking..
- About?
- hmmmmm…
😂
What I was thinking "he is thinking about sex, but not his wife"
@@matsv201Hahaha I think you’re onto something here 😂😂
So much wisdom regarding the husband / wife relationship. Hilarious but truthful.
Laughing from the other side of the globe. Thank you Dom. You are the best.
Side of the globe? Eh? I had just about wrapped my head around the possibility of the earth being flat, seeing as the Flerfers keep telling us all it is flat because they believe it is.
Nevermind them using anything as scientific as, well, science. Now you're telling me it has sides?
Is it a cube, or could it be a dodecahedron? What next? Will sone lunatic decide it's shaped like a giant hemarrhoid cushion?
@@cogboy302 Please go away. Forever.
Your wife’s pie chart with all those high % values reminds me of a line from the one-man play Defending The Caveman: “Women are not bound by logic.”
At first some in the audience react like it’s an insult. The actor in turn goes on to explain it is a compliment: “Men *are* bound by logic.” Which means they are trapped and cannot escape it. Whereas women do not suffer from this as a limitation.
You can be an idiot and do something stupid because you are not blessed, excuse me, bound by common sense.
A woman doing a shitty job with a ball and a hoop on a small court shamelessly demands a man doing an outstanding job with a bigger ball on a bigger court to take a pay cut to secure her salary.
They may not be bound by logic but they are firmly rooted in reality which makes it frustrating at times because they cannot imagine what you are trying for them to imagine and shot your hypothetical world building down.
Girl math😂❤
I'm not bound by logic regardless: I don't have much of that.
Male translator is spot on…😂
Brilliant and very funny as always :)
That was me, I was told by my dad. Where ever your head went, you followed.
I first learned I was a geek because I find this guy hilarious
Too funny! 😂😂😂
I like the tie.
That’s all SOOOOO true!
UGT -- Don's equivalent of the Babblefish
2:42 i am hoping you put a red bow on that pac man to make mrs pac man..
The 80% pie chart reminds of a joke where the person invests half his money in A, half in B, and half in C, Or some such thing where he has a 1/2, 1/2, 1/2 distribution.
😂 with a Baby Spec Sheet 😂
He really is funny and a accurate 🤣
Good stuff.
Women multitask. All those percentages in the pie chart are accurate - we're thinking of at least three things at any given moment.
That's ADHD and that's my turf >:(
Wife's pie chart is emotional math. It has no logic but is always upsetting if wrongly interpreted.
I told my wife that I can only do three things at once. Breathing, walking, and seeing where I'm going. Anything else is Iffy. Holding her leaves me, standing, breathing, then, usually, thinking of sex.
Only correction would be that men think nothing for about 5-10% of the time. And by nothing, we mean nothing
I learned about the nothing box from Gaffigan. My husband loves his nothing box.
Same thing with my wife 48 hours just to have an emergency C section.
In case you hadn't noticed, that child turns 21 this June 13. Be sure to send a birthday card!
😂😂😂😂
The 2024 version of the U.G.T. would need to be a real complex device 😵💫
At that point the models would be "pants wearer to non pants wearer" and "non pants wearer to pants wearer".
Start with "what bloody hell are you?" Then "what wrong with you?"
I'd like to order two.
Lol this is pretty good stuff you have here
One comment though. When you did your wife's pie chart she did 80 80 80. Now if you would have did 90 90, 90 90 you would have had 360 which is a circle laugh out loud
M-F-M translator ...
that is why a lot of men don't want relationships any longer; no reason to willingly be gaslit every day
#Truth
Meanwhile, in 4 months, your son will be legal to drink. How time flies.
Hi, Where would you like to go to dinner?
You offered her a choice. That's your mistake ;)
The tale of two brains... Most women actually think about everything the whole time simultaneously. So yes, you 80% of the time, the kids 80% of the time, and any other key interest 80% of the time... 😁
Women are no more capable at multitasking or thinking about multiple things at the same time. In fact, men outclass women in any competition with multitasking elements. Why? That's a good question.
@@ChessJourneymanentirely depends on which kind of multitasking you’re talking about. There are reputable studies from good sources that suggest men being better at certain things like multitasking in video games or manual things that require a lot of switching gears, while women are better at multitasking when it comes to anything communication or information related, switching mental gears. Who has the edge entirely depends on which parts of the brain are being engaged. Which makes perfect sense, because we are wired very differently.
So the wife thinks of him with her mother shopping for food 80% fo the time? Good thing she wasn't thinking of sleeping 80% of the time.
I'm not sure if I'm thinking too deeply about it, or if it was perhaps the whole joke, but I think his wife's main problem with his 'what I think about' pie chart would have been that 'wife' and 'sex' were mutually exclusive.
You are a very funny guy. It would be a real trip to get your wife on stage just for shitzngiggles
Spooky....
Is U.G.T. like a Babel Fish?
We need a female counterpoint of this Man!
These oldfashioned toxic tropes aren't really funny at all. Insulting to both genders. Maybe try something not out of the 1980s?
Lol, the only toxic one is you here, friend.
Not toxic if they are the truth.
Maybe get married and listen again when you gain some perspective.
😂😂😂