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I Am Grieving: Why Can't I Cry?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ส.ค. 2024
- Tears are often symbols of Grief...but not all who grieve Cry! Share your experiences and thoughts.
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My "Hide The Tears" game was strong as a kid... What was your tear story? How does it show up in your Grief?
I also learned not to cry and struggle with it now. I think it builds up and turns into anxiety.
Just so you know, you are not alone about learning not to cry, I too struggle to cry now. I had to “take care of business” being the main caregiver thru my husband’s years long chronic illnesses & decline into hospice & death. Now my elderly Mother lives with me & she & her generation were the ones that didn’t do feelings or crying, so that is the beginning of where I learned it. Thank you for sharing your thought about built up tears lead to anxiety, that is a big aha for me. Blessings as we journey on 🦋
I can`t hear the ends of your sentences.
I’ve lost my mum and my dad within the last two years and during this time my marriage has broken down. I can’t cry, I’m so sad, but I can’t cry.
for me i can feel what you mean , i lost my mom cuz of cancer last year and i couldn't cry even i was feeling like im burning and i couldn't cry and since then im living with the idea that i cant cry in my lowest
I also wasn't allowed to cry as a child. I experienced additional family estrangement 17 years ago in my mid fifties, cried uncontrollably all night, & haven't been able to cry since, despite wanting & desperately needing to. I feel it in my chest area, but just can't get a tear. 💧 😥
"Stop that (crying), or I'll give you something to cry about!!" Being beaten or otherwise injured was not an acceptable reason to cry, yet mother or father would cry & I was expected to soothe them to make it better as they cried on & on. I'm going to join the group. I've tried sad movies, had additional losses... No relieving tears. 😕
I‘am so sorry dude, i hope your feeling fine.
I too lost my wedding and then my father .. it's been 6 months for both wedding and papa and I still can't cry... I wish you healing and all the love in the world . We shall heal... ❤
I haven't cried in almost two years and I been through alot and I just want to cry my heart out
I want to cry but am unable to. Nothing touches me enough to cry real tears. I lost a lovely friend this year, she was only 34, and when I attended the funeral I had tears in my eyes but the grief wouldn't come out of me, it was just a few tears that barely fell. Watching her parents grief was so traumatic and I felt so much for them, I wanted to comfort them , my heart was wrenching so much I felt physical pain, but for me personally I just could not show that emotion. Even alone that evening there was nothing. I felt/feel dead inside. Nothing touches me anymore and cannot understand it. Over the past two years I have lost two close friends ( 34 and 66 years old), my uncle and an acquaintance, my sons friend who died this summer aged 29. I feel the grief so deeply and struggle with their loss but the tears of release and relief never come.
I am so sorry for your loss. My grandpa took his own life this morning and although I want to, I can’t seem to cry.
There have to be some sort of tricks and methods in order to release these suppressed emotions. This is also what I am looking for now.
When you're sitting in the pain of depression, you can't cry. Only after hours and hours of having to sit in the psychological and physical pain of depression grief, a release to crying might finally come and set you free only for a moment. Then the pain comes back.
Jo, that was extremely informative. I was not allowed to cry as a child. No crying. So I learned not to cry. I am really good at fighting back tears. There is so much more to that than I ever imagined.
Thank you for sharing, same in my childhood not allowed to cry or ask for something,sad , but good to know it’s normal to end up like numb for the grieving!
I lost my grandfather 7 years ago, I was unable to cry. I knew from that moment that my brain was hardwired to keep moving and to be strong so that no one questions what’s wrong with me. I could never put into words the level of pain or emotion I’ve felt in the past, so I would tell them “nothing” and cry behind closed doors. Now, as a 26 year old, I can’t even cry during a breakup. I’m just so used to doing things on my own that I’m not able to show any emotion. That’s a big issue with relationships of mine, and now I’m labeled as “cold hearted” that’s not true but nobody understands it except for everyone on this channel
I remember that tears were a relief. But I cannot cry and haven’t for all of my adult life. I wish I could cry.
Such a huge relief, it actually feels good to cry
I believe we cannot cry (when there is deep grief) because there is just too much pain. We become the pain, the pain blocks our energy from naturally flowing. It's hard.to heal if your life does not provide you enough comfort. You can try to do things that you love, look to surround yourself with good people but if the pain or grief is too big it will not ease you enough. So what i do is, i lay down on my bed close my eyes and look within. I feel the pain, stuck in my body and I thank God for the pain and my suffering. This creates space and I start to cry. Or you meditate and become very silent, after a while i will start to cry too. The pain was just stuck too deep inside of you and it needed attentions, awareness. In this harsh modern society nobody gives attentiob to the pain of others so we are stuck with it alone Everyone seems to be scared of negative emotions as if it is contagious.. people seem not to have the strength anymore to carry one another. They run after the most confident and positive people to lift themselves. Understandable but it's a sign of an unhappy society! And that with all our comfort and wealth. What happened to us? Aren't we more devided and judgemental than ever? Aren't we more selfish and suspicious than ever? We need a strong community to thrive and to be happy. We sacrificied all that for a comfortable life with fancy car, clothes and/or house. But... we are not fulfilled. We live from a space of lack not from a place of abundance. We became needy and dependent instead of inspirational in our shining uniqueness.
I cared for my husband for over 14 months during his last illness, always felt I had to be strong for him and my family. If I started crying, maybe I would not stop. I am an RN and told myself I had to control the tears. Now I find that I get teary eye but don't cry.
Thank you. I grew up in home where I was told that if I cried I would be given something to cry for..... and I was.....
When I was a kid my father told me not cry. I’m a girl and was not allowed to cry and now I can’t cry.
Madam, thank you for showing us that not crying is just as legitimate as crying.
Thank you. I needed to hear this, which reached me in Harare, Zimbabwe.
Heartfelt thanks for this message ... gives me a feeling of connection in that thought it was just me... it's been so long 😪 since I've cried ... a few tears but no release just a tight knot in my throat... I will explore Journaling and watch movies ... information so very valuable and comforting !
I think I'm in a state of emotionally numbness. It's been that way for years but has gotten worse because my Aunty died. It's been a week and I still think she's going to come back.
I was in foster care and she would sometimes visit me, no other family members would. Anyway when I was 13 she took me and my 12 brother in.
At her funeral I didn't cry.
Only with closed doors I did but not for long.
Even when she was on her bed in pain she looked over to me and and asked me if I was okay.
I didn't say anything, I didn't have to the words.
I'm so sorry I didn't talk to you Auntie, my chance to tell you how much I love you is gone.
I don’t recall ever being told not to cry. I remember my mother comforting me and telling me not to cry, not because it was not right, but because she didn’t want to see me sad. My husband died in February 2023. Easter was our first family gathering. I sat down at the table with a huge lump in my throat with the realization that this was the first time without him by my side. My brother in law raised a glass in his memory. I dissolved in a puddle of tears. My family was so supportive. Lord it sometimes hurts like hell.
Lost my wife 2/9/2023 buried her Valentines day.
After 53 years of marriage .Know exactly how you feel. Sorry for you loss.
I can feel the same sadness when I think about my husband and dad that lump in the throat is a beast
I decided as a child that I would not give my abusers the satisfaction of crying in front of them. I have cried much but am at the stage where I feel I want to cry but cant - so thanks for this teaching it will help.
When i was young i cried over the smallest things so i tried really hard to hold them back and now I never cry more than maybe a single tear over the saddest things
Same here
Thank u for this. My momma died March 27 th and I’ve cried 1 time, abt the 1 month mark. And at times I’ll feel like I’ve been punched in my heart for only a few moments and my brain shuts it down. I felt shame and thought what’s wrong with me that I’ve not cried over my momma? It’s my brain protecting me. It allows me bits at a time bc it knows it’s probably all I can handle right now.
What a sweet woman❤
Not crying is not true of me. I feel that crying helps me release my grief. I understand why some cannot cry. TY for pointing this out to us.
Hi MaryAnne, how’s your day going with you?
This has always caused me so much guilt. I tend to be someone who’s very sensitive, I can find myself getting very emotional over the smallest things. Yet, when it comes to grief, I was just shocked and didn’t know what to do. When my grandma passed away initially I didn’t cry, I just was silent and when people at school tried to approach me I pretended I was feeling ill, until I admitted that she’d passed away and suddenly I sobbed for almost 2 solid hours. I also cried at her funeral, but not much aside from that. Sometimes I become very stressed. Why did I cry so little and feel so numb? I really loved my grandma, so why can’t I feel? What is wrong with me? She passed away almost four years ago, and I still think of this so often. This video did help, thank you.
This video is much needed for me. Merry go Round of Tears. The years of illness, decline & then death of my husband forced me to handle everything by myself, since I have no local family, I handled the doctors, hospitals, treatment plans, the bills etc all while working. I had to suck it up & force my emotions into my toes to get it all done, to listen & receive information & be professional at work. Tears were saved for the shower (seems lots of us cry in the shower) my family of origin didn’t accept tears or “do” feelings, so I got very used to delaying my emotions & feelings. The result is I don’t cry much when you would think I would, so family & friends think I am ok & handling everything as usual with strength or think of me as the Ice Queen Warrior. So confusing & off putting for them when I call & I am a tearful puddle, so the result of that is I get pushed away into the avoidance corner. As always, I appreciate the comments here & your videos that help me untangle this ball of grief. Blessings as we journey on…
Grief sometimes does ask us to be Ice Queen Warriors....so unfair. ❤️
Thank you for normalizing & validating my path thru grieving & widowhood…you don’t know until you know & you don’t want to know 🙃
I cry all the time. Emotional tears. In the beginning I was in shock and self medicating with pain meds. But now that I'm clean and sober from pain meds. I'm no longer numb. So I am really feeling the pain of my loss.
I can't cry or show emotions of stress or weakness in front of the others. Once I am alone with my thoughts, tears just come out. Just yesterday I went out to get some fresh air, and was thinking to myself. I was trying to find the source of the freezing in my mind and heart despite the recent accident that my mother had. Then the tears started coming out. It was a brief but deeply felt crying session. Luckily it was sunny and I was wearing glasses, so it didn't look awkward at all.
Thank you thank you so much. Yesterday I lost my childhood dog, and I am currently away at college so I couldn't say a proper goodbye. I cried really hard after receiving news that he had a tumor and was bleeding internally and dying, and then I cried really hard after my mom ended the facetime call right after he was euthanized. But even right after the call I only cried real tears for a moment and then it was like I went numb and cold, then for the rest of the day there was this deep emptiness and weight in my chest. I sat for at least 10 minutes in my chair after the call ended, just staring and spacing out, disconnecting almost or dissassociating. I've been struggling to cry today no matter how much I try to or begin to and it confused me because my dog meant the world to me and losing him really hurts, and the grief I feel for him also feels like the grief I felt when I lost my grandma to cancer a few years ago. Every time I begin to cry it's like my brain shuts it down and I just stop. It's the strangest thing but I think you're right in that my brain is trying to protect me. I also grew up in one of those households where I wasn't allowed to cry or at least not audibly. I find that most times I don't know how to cry or truly audibly weep, except when I am experiencing extreme sadness in a moment like when losing a loved one.
I lost my dad from a brain hemorrhage in November and in December my marriage failed due to narcissistic behavior. I feel like a turned off a switch inside and today was told my mom has cancer. I feel like I want to ball but I feel so numb.
I lost my mother four months ago, and I haven't shed a tear since her passing. When she was dying, I did cry, but it felt like I was forcing it because everyone else was crying, and I didn't want to seem heartless. I loved my mom deeply. Whenever my dad and I argued, she was the one I turned to for comfort. I don't think it's because I lack empathy, as I cry easily over small things like a touching dog video or a sad song. But when my mom passed away, I couldn't cry genuinely, and it's left me questioning if I truly love her. Despite this confusion, I know deep down that I love her. It's hard to imagine not caring for someone who has been there for me my whole life. So why can't I feel sad? Why can't I cry?
❤ thank you for that explanation. I was going through those same thoughts for months.
I’ve had a hard time allowing the tears to come. I sense them. Like they’re on the edge, and I can’t seem to release them.
I’ve tried, when alone.
I’ve tired when with others..
I can’t seem to cry.
I’ve had a lot of stress in my life for decades, but more in the last 5. I know it would help me to cry.
I used to cry a lot over almost everything I was really emotional empathetic to others but now I almost feel nothing 😕 I am also lacking of empathy and can’t cry even I am sad
I can’t cry. I have basal and irritant tears, I have full emotions, but I can’t cry. I cried regularly in my first 18 years but I can’t cry now. I wish I could. It’s been six years without tears.
Update: I had a really rough day yesterday and I actually teared up! This is a huge accomplishment for me!!
@@TBIhope hey I want to know how did it happen??what did you do?to cry
@@sitaramola9515 I’ve been trying to recover from my PTSD and anxiety and depression and everything, and I think part of it was just progressing through the grief process. It’s still not easy for me to cry. But in moments of extreme distress, I can cry now.
It’s as though my body is trying to protect me from further injury, but obviously it doesn’t work that way!
@@TBIhope actually one of my close one is also facing the same problem she had been controlling herself from a really long time and now it starts effecting her body she is continuously vomiting and lots of things is happening with her body so that's why I want to know how did you overcome
@@sitaramola9515 a lot of journaling! It took me several years, though.
I am an emotional person also, I cry over many things...I cry the most when people have died in my family & friends...Most of my family members dont cry tears openly...for some reason they cannot show their emotions with tears...comes from childhood ...
5 months ago i used to cry easily. Now, i just cant. I used to feel pangs in my chest but now i cant. My hearts not beating fast and the tears no longer come even though i am very sad and things that used to make me cry like watching clannad afterstory no longer make me cry. Its like i lost something that used to make me human and i just can't feel it anymore. The hurt is not hurting but i do get angry but i dont feel the hurt anymore.
I can't cry either as you said medication or child hood experiences back in the day 😢
I cant cry... emotionally .. i havent since 2012 ... i actually wrote it in a diary my tears have stopped. my dad died march 2022 ... i cant cry and need to ... nothing helps and i am in grief.
I just like 30 minutes ago received the news that my mother's aunt is going to die. I simply can't cry. I cry for much more stupid things, like having not studied for a test the evening of yhe day before, or arriving late with homework, but i simply don't feel like I'm going to cry after this.
Thank you for the video❤
My mom died last month. I am 29 year old man. I cried pretty hard five days after she died. But afterwards I felt numb and couldn't cry. The only time I cried again was when I saw her body for the last time. I don't give a hoot about crying in front of people. I have no shame.
My dad passed Thursday. I’m upset with myself because I haven’t cried like I thought I would. I just feel like it’s not really happening.
So sorry for your loss.... 🙏
@@connieseli9115 thank you
Same here with me. I lost my sister 3 weeks ago. She was my everything. I can't cry because it seems like unreal. I feel like she will return to me. I don't know how to face with those feelings
@@sibela9553 awe I’m so sorry for your loss! Yes I still can’t believe this is happening. I will tell you that a month ago I wanted to call my dad and that’s kinda when it started to hit me. I lost it because I couldn’t call him. I’ve also had a lot of physical pain and I’m thinking it’s because I’m holding my emotions in.
@@heatherskettlecorn yes my legs and arms are always hurting. I don't know how to live like this. She was 4 years older than me. So i have never been without her in my entire life. It is so hard
My whole body shakes inside feel like my heart is coming out
In life men well tell boys, men don't cry, and then we grow up getting hurt and let's be honest the pain a man feels from a woman hurts more than anything physical, and that pain we are never taught how to handle, but to accept, swallow it, shit talk and move forward. The level of pain differs for everyone, but when you are a male that learns its not okay to cry until decades often he's learned to build the wall of understanding and not showing, it starts to blow my mind when I notice so many emotionally damaged men that carry the weight in silence until they do something outrageous, THEN society labels them crazy or unfit to be in society, but I notice, those that grew up able to express when necessary, and not because it was forced, really do have better handles on their relationships. I am of the damaged generation 80's babies where crying was not allowed unless you were getting your ass whooped for something.
I never cry in front of parents but when I go to school I can feel how I feel
I was always a crybaby. I would cry over anything and everything - happy news or sad news and I would cry but I lost my Husband 25th April and with five weeks had to have both my elderly dogs pts. If I bump into anyone I laugh and say I am fine. I fall apart in private but I mean that is cannot function. I cannot cry at all. It's as if I am drowning in tears inside that come into my eyes but then stop.
Same for me. I have always been crying for everything. Arguing with my dad, going late with homework, not being ready for a phisics test etc.
But when i just received the news my mother's aunt is going to die i Simplyy cant feel I'm going to cry, it doesn't even seem true
Lost both my parents in 2020, lost my daughter in 2023, and a good friend in between those dates. I started seeing a therapist and told her my biggest complaint is my brain doesn't function very well anymore... I can't trust my brain or thought processes for fear of screwing everything up. Having not cried heavily she said I have an emotional log jam and I need to cry in order for my brain to start functioning again. She said my brain is trying to process my grief and I'm not helping it by not crying. It's hard for me to cry I usually only get a few tears. Grew up in a household where I never saw anybody cry.
I’ve lost 3 pets already this year, one of them just yesterday. I haven’t been sure why I’m unable to cry since I miss them so much. I know I’m asking for grief if I have three pets all the same age, but they all just died so close to each other. It’s been so hard on my mental health.
I can't seem to stop crying lately..
Thank you 🙏 you gamy my answer!
I have to try and cry just so I can be able to move on from things
As a child, I learnt early on to supress my emotions especially crying. I remember feeling a lump in my throat and always supressing the urge. Now was an adult, I find it really hard to cry. I can't shed more than 2 years if I force myself, I end up feeling depleted than better. Also, thanks to the inner child healing job that I'm doing...I can kind of shed more than a few tears now yet just as I began crying ..I start to feel dizzy almost in a panic attack state. It's scary. The heart beat slows down and not a good feeling overall. Should I just stop crying altogether. What do you think?
lost my grandfather and I never cried, I often wonder why I didn’t and why the tears haven’t come yet. I feel hypocritical cause I cry at everything (I’m oversensitive) but didn’t cry at that.
I just lost my dad and I feel no emotions is there something wrong with me?
Sometimes there is a fear of "losing it" if u give in and cry; a fear of never being able to function again.
I have that problem too can't cry
As a a child, crying was most definitely not allowed, emotions were shameful and had to be hidden and I am an adult that finds it very hard to despite the fact I feel the need to often.
I was a big crier when I was younger. But then I realized that i am a big crier and then i became unable to cry. The last time i cried was when my brother traveled away and i couldn’t cry after it
I just lost my Aunt but I can't cry 😢
In 2014 I was diagnosed with leukemia. I remember crying when my husband shaved my hair off. But can’t remember crying since then. I am sad I want to cry but can’t. I have dry eyes bad. Seems like I am a,ways going to the eye doctor for my problems He says I probably won’t ever cry again due to the radiation and chemo. I am sad because I can’t release emotion. This has affected me big time.
When something sad happens, I don't cry. I sometimes don't feel anything, but seeing other people's emotional reactions make me worried. Am I weird or not? I sometimes cry, but only when under extreme stress. I find it difficult to hold back tears, I tear up very easily when I start crying, but that almost never happens. Help please, what is wrong with me? I know you're seeing this, please awnser.
I am a big crier and I also find them a great source of relief. In my house girls cried boys didn’t.
Sadly if it's not a sad cartoon I can't cry. My mother passed away a week before my birthday this year and I handled the funeral, while watching my relationship spiral at the same time, and get laid off. I still have not shed any emotion. I thought I was supposed to cry at the passing of my mother. But I do know it's silently still hurting me. I feel blank, like everything in me is on pause. In short I feel stuck. Crying for a movie or cartoon doesn't suffice for the initial pain. Any thoughts?
I lost my husband age 59 and my dad 3 months apart everyday feels like the first day still trying to find my self some days I feel like an airplane trying to land and can’t find my airport trying to be strong for my 3 young adult children. 17,and 2,20 years young . I keep asking how soon will I get to land .
I’ve always felt tears to be shameful and it has just been engraved in me not to cry when it’s gotten to a point when I want to cry to make myself feel better I’m stuck feeling sad and can’t cry even when my grandpa died when I was a kid I didn’t cry. Does anyone know a solution?
I really do appreciate your videos. I can feel your kindness and compassion. It is sometimes difficult to hear you. Any way you can adjust the level that you record at?
Thank you for your kind words. My skills are clearly lacking in the tech department! The recoding levels are my early learning curve mistakes...to change them once posted would be hours of editing.. 😒 I have placed closed captions on some of them to compensate. I hope to get better at this! 🙏
@@grieftherapist I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Just thought you’d want to know. In the meantime I will continue to watch and share your videos ❤️
I don't really know what this condition of mine is named as..But as I know I've not been able to cry since my childhood days.Its not that I don't feel but it's just that my feelings of grief is so deep inside that it suffocates me.. and many a times I'm not able to breathe and it hurts so bad.I'm 21 years old but the number of times I've cried can be counted i guess that might be 3 to 4 times since I was around 9 years old..I feel for every little things happiness, sadness,grief but all my emotions gets pilled up and I can't cry even though I want to.I don't know what's wrong with me
I have dry eye syndrome so I can’t cry. They form in my eyes, but that’s it.
Hlo I m from Nepal
I want to share that I can't cry Infront of my mother.I don't why
Can u please tell me the reason?
Go
I guess Im cynical. So that my problem