Thank you for this. You're young and beautiful and what you're doing is amazing. You're articulating what survivors like ourselves have gone through and are going through. I was damaged decades ago, thinking eventually that it was for my own good. It wasn't, and I awoke to something indescribable, and have spent years and a small fortune in my recovery of detox, neurofeedback, supplementation, and dietary restrictions, all of which I had to find on the Internet. The symptoms you're describing in your videos were also mine as well, brain and CNS damage from drugs specifically designed as "bullets to the brain" (Dr. Peter Breggin). Keep up the good work, things will improve and you will recover.
sometimes the only way we know how all sufficient and necessary He is for us is in and through our brokenness. Sometimes the most important thing is not about being fixed or 'normal' or trying to get back to that place but understanding and knowing through experience that He is sufficient for us even in and when we are broken
Kintsugi is the japanese art of taking things that are broken and mending and putting them back together again, the piece becomes more beautiful, more precious and more valuable for having been broken. The piece has a history, its history is visibly seen, it shares an experience. Obviously there is deeper meaning and implication. Being broken is not the end, it is the beginning. There are some things that we only learn in brokenness. I trust Him to always help you, to give you everything that you need as He lovingly puts you back together again, piece by piece until you are whole again, more beautiful, more precious, and more valuable for having been broken
Hey girl looking good. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Hope everything is fine. Im with you all the way thrugh your journey, so take care and keep up the good work
So glad to see you doing so much better! I do want to add that although I, too, have had severe akathisia from several meds I am also a nurse of 28 years. The least four have been working on a psych unit. Please understand that psych meds are saving lives everyday. They are not all bad. Although it feels that way after having akathisia, it isn’t. I watch people make huge progress in their mental illness thanks to psych meds. Like night and day difference. Please, please don’t make them out to be all bad. In my four years of working on psych(in addition to another 10 working there intermittently as a float pool nurse) I have NEVER seen any patient have severe akathisia. I’ve seen a few have mild akathisia which was controlled quickly with either Propanolol, Cogentin, Benadryl and/or Ativan. We are rare in our severity! Believe me. I give these meds all day long and the benefits waaaaaay outweigh the risks. Lives are saved everyday thanks to anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. I can’t emphasize that enough. I am a strong patient advocate tho and I’m due to my own experience in hyper aware of the possibility of it happening so I keep a close eye out. I have also educated my coworkers and discuss the possibility of this side effect with my patients telling them should they get any of movement disorder symptoms to call their doc immediately. Also not to stop their meds abruptly. We need to make folks aware but not throw the baby out with the bathwater. I’d also like to say good job staying positive and practicing gratitude. It does help with mental health. I feel it’s what kept me sane thru my recent battle with ovarian cancer as well. Like you said…carry on little soldiers. ✌🏼
Medical professionals won't see severe akathesia because people often suffer from it behind the scenes or they will not be validated in it or they will be given new drugs to suppress any restlessness and it won't even be a consideration
Glad to see that you are still okay I have been praying for you. I have went through the same journey for almost 2 years. You got this so proud of you keep up the great work.
Hi! Thank you so much for being so brave in sharing your story! I see a lot of similar things in my taper now. I'm spreading awareness by my podcast. Would love to be in touch. Either way, best of luck and strength! ❤️🌈
Great to see you!!! I kinda stopped watching the videos for quite awhile. I'm closing in on almost 5 yrs protracted and currently not doing the best. Thought I was about 85% healed... NOT. FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT SISTER 👍🏻
@@keithj460 musculoskeletal issues. Neuropathy.still some sleep issues from time to time. Neck stiffness. Equilibrium issues. Couple more minor ones also...
@@keithjourdan2243 I would have to say yes. I have alot of days where I feel close to healed but something always sets me back...food...stress it's always something.
Great to hear. I’m 2.5 years and suffering from same symptoms as you. Pain/weakness/burning. Lots of symptoms have fallen off. Just hope I can get better physically.
2 years of akathisia was pure hell.. only alcohol was a soft bandage, and a very unhealthy one at that.. what a battle.. these drugs are so deadly.. most should be banned.. they aren't humane.. and doctors still have no clue with what they're doing.. I'm still learning to try and relax again.. whether weed, MD, Pyslico, or Ketamine mite be able to bring us same temporary relief..
i don't know your past, this is the first video that yt has recommended to me. I am a survivor of the system, medications, every diagnosis, over 7 suicide attempts, once every year for over 7 long years, psychosis, insanity, etc. most of it alone. I care about you and your life. It's been a long time since these things have been an issue in my life, like you, i am still broken but i have stability and peace in my life, something i never ever expected to ever happen to me. Promise me you make it, it does get easier, good things can and will come to you, hang in there, if you refuse to make it for yourself, do it for me
25 plus years of 'being broken'. I hope that doesn't discourage you. I've learned so very much on this journey. Something I would not wish on another. I am a better person for all the things i have gone through, I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for this
i do not like seeing my life lived through another. I would do anything to trade places with you, in a heart beat, without a moments hesitation but you would never grow, know how strong you are
i'll probably watch more of your videos and try to get an idea of who you are, your past, what you've been through, whatever you are willing to share. Anything I can do to know you better, you are not alone. I am subscribed with all notifications. People need you, people need to know that you exist. You give others hope, you help people, do it for them, don't ever stop
So glad you are doing okay! During my taper from klonopin to being off since February, it has left me with chronic insomnia. Nothing has worked to fix this. Have you experienced any sleep problems? If so has anything worked? May God Bless you
Your taper may have been too fast? It took me well over a year with water tritiation. It was so gradual that my brain didn’t miss it. I know what cold Turkey did to me, and I don’t wish that on anyone.
Ps, I haven’t laughed much in the past 18 months or so but I did laugh when you said ‘what’s going on with my hair’ and you laughed😀it was real and funny and lovely to see you laugh too 😃 I feel your hope and I feel your pain….we will beat this for sure BB. Yep my initials are BB but I do know that’s not your real name 😁x
How long you were on benzoz,and how long you tapered? I got aka from 7 weeks use cymbalta,60mg,then my doc tapered me on 2 weeks!!! Then the terror started,now im on benzoz and hit the tolerance,im in terror!!!!!!
Hi!!!! Good to see ya beautiful❤ look at you and your smile 😊 I’m doing a little better 14 months off Ct 70mg equivalent Valium 3 mg Klonopin 3 mg A And Lunesta all kind to others psych meds because I’ve missed diagnosis of the benzodiazepine withdrawal. I had started to work at six months off but I had a bad way Viveka dizzier here in October and I had to quit my job I think it’s due to the cold temperature I don’t do really well in the cold the summertime when I can be in the sunlight it’s amazing and I do 1 million times better you’re gonna heal I know you are looking fabulous remember to keep Hope strong faith as work matters
Hi BB, I have tried to message you twice and they keep disappearing 🤷♀don’t you just love technology 🤓 So good to see you back but glad you took the break. Sorry if you get more than one message I’m not a stalker honest 🙄. My story is so like yours the high doses of diazepam then at 18mg at the same time and now 6mg, god it’s a major hell of a journey but we have to keep riding the waves and come up for that air again that’s eventually there. I hope you have a good day today, I had a rocky night so my day hasn’t started out the best but it is what it is. Take care x
Hi Beverley, thank you for getting in touch. It sure is a journey! Be so proud of yourself that you have gotten where you are. Let's keep speaking hope into our lives and one day at a time we will get there! Stay in touch x
@@beautifullybroken1591 Hi Tessa and thankyou for letting me know your name 😊 Yes I agree it would be lovely to stay in touch. I am a very caring and compassionate person but I have to say although not judgemental I don’t tend to relate to many people in my personal life. Your journey and videos resonated with me from the start and I believe we are of similar character x
@@beautifullybroken1591 we should both be proud of ourselves 😊 There is a lack of support and care here in the U.K. so been going solo from day one 😖so scary at times as it is but worse being stuck in your own head 24/7. By the way I was laughing with you and at you 😁x
@@beautifullybroken1591 oh now this is bordering on stalking 🧐I meant to ask it in the last message. Are you still cut and holding or now Microtapering? I changed at 7mg but I’m not sure it’s made a difference or I haven’t given it long enough 🤷♀ I understand if you don’t want to say on here but if so great if not we could hook up on instagram if you are on there. You can find me at Beverley Bennatti, I don’t post much but follow my sons business and my daughter. Have a lovely day x
@@beverleybennatti3048 I don't mind sharing here. I am cutting and holding 1mg at a time. Cutting to 5mgs in a few days dosing 4 times a day but once it is time to drop to 3 mgs my psych is wanting me to drop a dose. I am not sure about that and might start switch it up at that stage. Just seeing how it goes!
15 kg and u look healthy.. were you skin and bones b4? Edit: ahhh ok u suffer from body dysmirphia, that explains it.. doesnt matter if people say u look great and healthy... you look in the mirror and dont see what we see... be blessed ma'am and stay strong on this journey you are on
Thank you for this. You're young and beautiful and what you're doing is amazing. You're articulating what survivors like ourselves have gone through and are going through. I was damaged decades ago, thinking eventually that it was for my own good. It wasn't, and I awoke to something indescribable, and have spent years and a small fortune in my recovery of detox, neurofeedback, supplementation, and dietary restrictions, all of which I had to find on the Internet. The symptoms you're describing in your videos were also mine as well, brain and CNS damage from drugs specifically designed as "bullets to the brain" (Dr. Peter Breggin). Keep up the good work, things will improve and you will recover.
Thanks for giving us hope. Keep pushing on.
sometimes the only way we know how all sufficient and necessary He is for us is in and through our brokenness. Sometimes the most important thing is not about being fixed or 'normal' or trying to get back to that place but understanding and knowing through experience that He is sufficient for us even in and when we are broken
Kintsugi is the japanese art of taking things that are broken and mending and putting them back together again, the piece becomes more beautiful, more precious and more valuable for having been broken. The piece has a history, its history is visibly seen, it shares an experience. Obviously there is deeper meaning and implication. Being broken is not the end, it is the beginning. There are some things that we only learn in brokenness. I trust Him to always help you, to give you everything that you need as He lovingly puts you back together again, piece by piece until you are whole again, more beautiful, more precious, and more valuable for having been broken
Hey girl looking good. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Hope everything is fine. Im with you all the way thrugh your journey, so take care and keep up the good work
So glad to see you doing so much better!
I do want to add that although I, too, have had severe akathisia from several meds I am also a nurse of 28 years. The least four have been working on a psych unit. Please understand that psych meds are saving lives everyday. They are not all bad. Although it feels that way after having akathisia, it isn’t. I watch people make huge progress in their mental illness thanks to psych meds. Like night and day difference. Please, please don’t make them out to be all bad. In my four years of working on psych(in addition to another 10 working there intermittently as a float pool nurse) I have NEVER seen any patient have severe akathisia. I’ve seen a few have mild akathisia which was controlled quickly with either Propanolol, Cogentin, Benadryl and/or Ativan.
We are rare in our severity! Believe me. I give these meds all day long and the benefits waaaaaay outweigh the risks. Lives are saved everyday thanks to anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. I can’t emphasize that enough.
I am a strong patient advocate tho and I’m due to my own experience in hyper aware of the possibility of it happening so I keep a close eye out. I have also educated my coworkers and discuss the possibility of this side effect with my patients telling them should they get any of movement disorder symptoms to call their doc immediately. Also not to stop their meds abruptly.
We need to make folks aware but not throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I’d also like to say good job staying positive and practicing gratitude. It does help with mental health. I feel it’s what kept me sane thru my recent battle with ovarian cancer as well.
Like you said…carry on little soldiers. ✌🏼
Medical professionals won't see severe akathesia because people often suffer from it behind the scenes or they will not be validated in it or they will be given new drugs to suppress any restlessness and it won't even be a consideration
Glad to see that you are still okay I have been praying for you. I have went through the same journey for almost 2 years. You got this so proud of you keep up the great work.
My head is gonna burst... It's constant and I'm seriously trying to hold on. Anyone always feeling mental torture continuously?
Thank you for checking back in. So good to see you well! Letting us all know how you are means a lot in the community. Sending you much Love.
Hi! Thank you so much for being so brave in sharing your story! I see a lot of similar things in my taper now. I'm spreading awareness by my podcast. Would love to be in touch. Either way, best of luck and strength! ❤️🌈
Great to see you! So sorry about how hard it has been. You'll make it. Wish the best 👌
Going through the same things over here!!
Great to see you!!! I kinda stopped watching the videos for quite awhile. I'm closing in on almost 5 yrs protracted and currently not doing the best. Thought I was about 85% healed... NOT. FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT SISTER 👍🏻
What are your remaining symptoms at 5 years out? Keep pushing!!!
@@keithj460 musculoskeletal issues. Neuropathy.still some sleep issues from time to time. Neck stiffness. Equilibrium issues. Couple more minor ones also...
@@jeffgalaska9277 has it gradually gotten better?
@@keithjourdan2243 I would have to say yes. I have alot of days where I feel close to healed but something always sets me back...food...stress it's always something.
Great to hear. I’m 2.5 years and suffering from same symptoms as you. Pain/weakness/burning. Lots of symptoms have fallen off. Just hope I can get better physically.
Nice to see you! Keep on going, you are an inspiration!
2 years of akathisia was pure hell.. only alcohol was a soft bandage, and a very unhealthy one at that.. what a battle.. these drugs are so deadly.. most should be banned.. they aren't humane.. and doctors still have no clue with what they're doing..
I'm still learning to try and relax again.. whether weed, MD, Pyslico, or Ketamine mite be able to bring us same temporary relief..
I’ve found Ketamine treatment helpful but they don’t last so you have to do them regularly. Thankfully, insurance pays now.
I’m down to 5mg of Valium myself. Keep pushing, we’re nearing the finish line!
Good to see you! I have wondered how you were doing. Keep going; every day is a day closer to healing.
i get to always care about you
i don't know your past, this is the first video that yt has recommended to me. I am a survivor of the system, medications, every diagnosis, over 7 suicide attempts, once every year for over 7 long years, psychosis, insanity, etc. most of it alone. I care about you and your life. It's been a long time since these things have been an issue in my life, like you, i am still broken but i have stability and peace in my life, something i never ever expected to ever happen to me. Promise me you make it, it does get easier, good things can and will come to you, hang in there, if you refuse to make it for yourself, do it for me
25 plus years of 'being broken'. I hope that doesn't discourage you. I've learned so very much on this journey. Something I would not wish on another. I am a better person for all the things i have gone through, I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for this
i do not like seeing my life lived through another. I would do anything to trade places with you, in a heart beat, without a moments hesitation but you would never grow, know how strong you are
so i'll just walk beside you instead. You are not alone
i'll probably watch more of your videos and try to get an idea of who you are, your past, what you've been through, whatever you are willing to share. Anything I can do to know you better, you are not alone. I am subscribed with all notifications. People need you, people need to know that you exist. You give others hope, you help people, do it for them, don't ever stop
So very proud of you ❤️❤️
Hi girl, love you! Don't give up
Well done girl!! Did you read baylissa’s book? It helps! Keep going! One day you will be healed❤
Ya so strong pls keep the vid coming when ya can
So glad you are doing okay! During my taper from klonopin to being off since February, it has left me with chronic insomnia. Nothing has worked to fix this. Have you experienced any sleep problems? If so has anything worked?
May God Bless you
Your taper may have been too fast? It took me well over a year with water tritiation. It was so gradual that my brain didn’t miss it. I know what cold Turkey did to me, and I don’t wish that on anyone.
Ps, I haven’t laughed much in the past 18 months or so but I did laugh when you said ‘what’s going on with my hair’ and you laughed😀it was real and funny and lovely to see you laugh too 😃 I feel your hope and I feel your pain….we will beat this for sure BB. Yep my initials are BB but I do know that’s not your real name 😁x
I'll let you in on a secret. My real name is Tessa 🥰 I'm glad I can make you laugh even if it's at my own expense! 😄
Good to hear from you .
Glad you are doing well
How long you were on benzoz,and how long you tapered? I got aka from 7 weeks use cymbalta,60mg,then my doc tapered me on 2 weeks!!! Then the terror started,now im on benzoz and hit the tolerance,im in terror!!!!!!
I apologise for leaving my original comment. I dont know what youre going through and i hope you get better.
Thank you
Hi how you doing I feel it for you am on alot of medicine keep going doll it's hard but ur getting there am jock
❤good luck
Hi!!!! Good to see ya beautiful❤ look at you and your smile 😊 I’m doing a little better 14 months off Ct 70mg equivalent Valium 3 mg Klonopin 3 mg A And Lunesta all kind to others psych meds because I’ve missed diagnosis of the benzodiazepine withdrawal. I had started to work at six months off but I had a bad way Viveka dizzier here in October and I had to quit my job I think it’s due to the cold temperature I don’t do really well in the cold the summertime when I can be in the sunlight it’s amazing and I do 1 million times better you’re gonna heal I know you are looking fabulous remember to keep Hope strong faith as work matters
Synthetic vitamin B1 allthiamine taken with a fat will help with the brain fog.
Megadose for a week then back down to 50mg per day
How long it took akathisia to fade away
It has gone on and off for different amounts of time
Hi BB, I have tried to message you twice and they keep disappearing 🤷♀don’t you just love technology 🤓 So good to see you back but glad you took the break. Sorry if you get more than one message I’m not a stalker honest 🙄. My story is so like yours the high doses of diazepam then at 18mg at the same time and now 6mg, god it’s a major hell of a journey but we have to keep riding the waves and come up for that air again that’s eventually there.
I hope you have a good day today, I had a rocky night so my day hasn’t started out the best but it is what it is. Take care x
Hi Beverley, thank you for getting in touch. It sure is a journey! Be so proud of yourself that you have gotten where you are. Let's keep speaking hope into our lives and one day at a time we will get there! Stay in touch x
@@beautifullybroken1591 Hi Tessa and thankyou for letting me know your name 😊 Yes I agree it would be lovely to stay in touch. I am a very caring and compassionate person but I have to say although not judgemental I don’t tend to relate to many people in my personal life. Your journey and videos resonated with me from the start and I believe we are of similar character x
@@beautifullybroken1591 we should both be proud of ourselves 😊 There is a lack of support and care here in the U.K. so been going solo from day one 😖so scary at times as it is but worse being stuck in your own head 24/7. By the way I was laughing with you and at you 😁x
@@beautifullybroken1591 oh now this is bordering on stalking 🧐I meant to ask it in the last message. Are you still cut and holding or now Microtapering? I changed at 7mg but I’m not sure it’s made a difference or I haven’t given it long enough 🤷♀ I understand if you don’t want to say on here but if so great if not we could hook up on instagram if you are on there. You can find me at Beverley Bennatti, I don’t post much but follow my sons business and my daughter. Have a lovely day x
@@beverleybennatti3048 I don't mind sharing here. I am cutting and holding 1mg at a time. Cutting to 5mgs in a few days dosing 4 times a day but once it is time to drop to 3 mgs my psych is wanting me to drop a dose. I am not sure about that and might start switch it up at that stage. Just seeing how it goes!
By the way, are you able to exercise again?
A little bit! I can walk on the treadmill and do light leg exercise. I haven't tried to lift weights yet.
15 kg and u look healthy.. were you skin and bones b4?
Edit: ahhh ok u suffer from body dysmirphia, that explains it.. doesnt matter if people say u look great and healthy... you look in the mirror and dont see what we see... be blessed ma'am and stay strong on this journey you are on
Are you still experiencing waves of dread and terror?
No I have been pretty stable as I've been holding this dose.. I just have PTSD symptoms.
@@beautifullybroken1591 thank you for answering, how has your sleep been?
@@kerriejonestx My sleep has been fine as well as I still dose before bed. Very grateful for that!