She says it like it's objectively true that she either is or isn't attractive. Because society treats it like that. But this is about him finding her attractive. She isn't unattractive to every single person in the world, I promise.
HOPEFULLY, she'll meet someone who finds her jaw dropping gorgeous and attractive that will treat her like a QUEEN. So the now husband can find himself in a shithole :-)
It wasn't god, but it wasn't a mistake either. What could she have forgotten for a walk? Her shoes? Her feet? She was spying. It's a damn good thing she was, but still, there is nothing to forget on a walk.
My mom did all time they stay married for life, My grandmother said the reason she married a short man is so she could beat his ass if had to, they stayed married for life. I see a double standards here I hear women trash their husband all the time.
@@noblegirl1991 you go to therapy. What good will it do when you only trash your spouse without dealing with the issue. I praise my husband in public. I don’t need to put him down. We all have flaws. Those flaws will stay between us.
@@captainsisko7629 Both are wrong. It's a way manipulative people keep others from knowing their worth. The unattractive partner is supposed to shut it down.
She's very timid. You can hear it in her voice and by her blaming herself for walking in and overhearing him. I commend her for calling. It took bravery to reach out.
@@DCYou-x6ywomen can do no wrong on this channel. She was already in the wrong by being overweight and expecting to have a husband who lies to her. But as John does, he coddles
For real, I was heart broken as a teenager hearing my “FRIEND” say I was ugly. I sobbed. It hurt me to my core. I cannot imagine what this woman is feeling….ugh. My heart breaks.
Why does it always have to be the woman leaving. He needs to walk away if he’s uncomfortable otherwise he should deal with her being ugly. He chose her despite her ugliness right. So then he should deal with it. I’d have a conversation with him and report this to someone he hold in high regard So he can feel embarrassed. He needs to be accountable to someone. That’s the only way I’ll have my peace. He needs to have boundaries with his friends and get rid of his female friends smh. The nerve for them to ask such questions.
Why not just realize that the husband sees his wife as ugly but sees her overall as being amazing and great? Not everyone is gonna win in the looks department, but are great everywhere else and the fact that he married her despite her looking like an ogre is because he loves her ...ugly spouses are the best spouses anyway because they work harder and you dont have to worry about anyone stealing them away. "Hot" wives are narcissistic and will leave you when something better comes along, they are not wife material. Just my two cents
@@sew_gal7340 what she looks like isn’t the point. The point is he shouldn’t be talking about his wife like that or sitting listening to others speak of her like that. Someone doesn’t have to be like a model for the person who loves them to see them as beautiful. To find it acceptable for his ‘friend’ to ask about their honeymoon and her attractiveness is disloyal and cruelIt isn’t possible to have a happy marriage and talk about your partner in a derogatory and personal way like that. A happy marriage is based on love, respect and trust. What happens when we get old? Does love end? No, because real love has little to do with looks apart from the initial attraction. She sounds like a beautiful person to me and she deserves so much better than a jerk who would let these bitches talk about his wife like that. She needs an upgrade. Give him back his worthless ring. You can do better ❤
Im a chubbier girl and my bf is extremely fit. I told him i wanted to work on loosing weight and bf hoped up giving me great workouts and advice. We sat down and he made a journal with me. He was about to give it to me but stoped saying. "Before i give this to you, i want you to know that right now i love you just the way you are. I love you and your body. Dont do any of this for me, do it for you." Yeah he is definitely the one for me, find someone that loves you for you.
My husband always says that he loves me, all of me. But if I am not happy with the way I look, I am the only one who can do anything about it. And that I should do it for myself and not for him.
Man I love that. My wife put a bit of weight on whilst being locked down through covid and being prescribed some medication that fucked up her hormones. She almost hates who she sees in the mirror and she tells me the only thing that keeps her going sometimes is knowing how deeply I love her way beyond anything to do with our flesh suit. She feels this way because it's true. She's my wife! My person. I'm pretty sure what she is going through is temporary and she is determined enough to become the woman she wants to be but nothing will change for me. Everything is just a stage and who she is is why I chose to spend my life with her. Emma's husband is an idiot. I hope she's ok.
The fact his “friends” have been empowered by him to speak so freely about her looks says so much about his lack of character. She should leave and never look back.
Not only that, but the fact that he's having conversations with other women while his wife was supposedly out of the house is really bad indication of his moral worth.
By her own admission this is the best she can hope for. He loves her for her character and she hasn't worked on her physique. Any future man will have to contend with that struggle + her low self esteem + her new paranoia. She's done this to herself and if she follows your advice she'll be even more miserable. Why not advise her to improve herself instead of burn her bridges?
I think that's the issue here. I have been in the position of not being defended by my partner, and someone who allows that is, unfortunately, a very unsafe person to be with. I bet she's beautiful, but he makes her feel less so. Toxic.
I literally cried for this woman after hearing only the first sentence… “I overheard my husband and his friends making fun of me.” That is so cruel. She deserves better.
Geez. Newly married as well. Should have walked in on this conversation before the wedding as it’s clear the husband has been discussing his ‘issues’ with her for awhile beforehand
He doesn't love her. Not one time did he tell his friend(s) how he felt abt her at the time. As a matter of fact from what she said the friend asked him if her looks were "still" a problem for him. That leads me to think of a few things: he is ashamed of her since his friends do not like her, he is an insecure man in which can turn out to be a dangerous man (controlling that could turn into physical abuse) or he is benefitting from her financially. It sounds like she has already made up her mind bc it's been 5 weeks and she said she should accept it and move on. My question is how come she married someone whom she is afraid of talking to without having fears, in which they are in her voice, of losing him? Tbh she is not going to tell him anything. He knows she is vulnerable and passive. I will pray for her. 🙏🏽
His female coworkers asked him "are her looks still a problem?" Key word being "STILL". This woman needs to find someone else as her husband has CLEARLY never found her attractive and has obviously voiced this TO his female coworkers.
I heard that too. I was like STILL?! Meaning that they JUST GOT MARRIED AND HE WASNT FEELING IT BEFORE? it’s one thing if there was a sudden change like people who kinda let themselves go during COVID. Sure. Okay still terrible but sorta understandable as people didn’t realize how they would react to being quarantined but this?? Nnooooooooo maaaaaaaammmm
Yes! I’m pretty sure there’s more to the situation, like why would you marry someone whose looks you had a “problem” with since before the marriage? Also she mention her skin color and that’s just too much, she needs to divorce this dude.
Most men marry whoever they feel will give them the most in a marriage, and then continue to cheat with those they consider attractive but they know would never give much of themselves in the marriage.
@@Die_GrimmI thought this was bad when I thought it was him taking to his male friends. Somehow it’s so much worse that he’s saying these things to women. And also , shame on all of those terrible people talking about her, and somehow I feel double shame on those women
Thus marriage is over. No woman can process the emotional wreckage of hearing the man you have chosen as a life partner demeaning your looks and laughing about it with his friends.
@@TLTSofitit's not about looks per se here. it's about him having zero respect for her, and probably also not being attracted to her. he's gonna cheat sooner or later. if he is treating his partner like that, he isn't "a real man".
No it’s not over. The stupid husband will spend the rest of his life making it up to her. She will be fine. Get your car, house and bank account padded very well by him then decide if he has made up for the hurt.
I don’t think there’s any way back from this. She’ll never feel like she’s enough and that’s his fault. He’s not a good guy and this is actually a blessing that she was shown his true colors and can find someone who will love her for who she is.
There truly isn’t. It’s a total lack of attraction which means he truly doesn’t love her, and value her. Plus the massive disrespect on top of it by going about it behind her back. This sham of a marriage isn’t even slightly salvageable.
I don’t feel like you have to have attraction to make a marriage work. I married for “attraction” and it hasn’t worked out. In order to keep from fighting, we just keep to ourselves for the sake of the kids. He wasn’t who he purported himself to be. I would gladly marry for character if God gave me a chance to marry again. I don’t need attraction. I would rather have respect. Love is nice to have as well but attraction has nothing to do with love.
@@meganr9280 everyone is different, but for most people, I think hearing your husband, or wife talk about your appearance to other people in a negative way would kill a large part of one’s self esteem. I think it would make almost everyone feel disregarded. I know for myself I would have filed for divorce within days if my finances would allow me to. If I couldn’t afford to go my own way I’d save up and leave as soon as I could.
Emma, this is not a mistake but God letting you know what kind of man your husband is when he allowed his friends to trash talk you! God is telling you to please leave this narcissistic, toxic, spineless POS scumbag!
She didn't hear that convo by accident. She was delivered and given a glimpse into the real person she married. And why are they so comfortable gossiping about her? Poor girl
Yep. I hope she ended up leaving. Because it is better to be single and happy. Then be someone else’s second choice. Because that is what she is, had her husband been able to make his relationship work with the kind of woman that he has attracted to he would’ve never looked twice at her.
Why in the world does another woman feel like she has a right to ask?! He made her feel like she could ask that type of stupid stuff! Men, you shouldn't talk to your guy friends about your wife's body.... I mean GUY friends to shoot the bull with sometimes and if there were some issues maybe they can confide in and seek counsel. But another WOMAN IS AN ABSOLUTELY NOT. You are opening a door and opportunity for the devil through a woman to work in a way that maybe you never even planned to do. I think they need to seek a godly counselor.
This is NOT the friend’s fault. Friends don’t talk negatively about your spouse unless you’ve created a situation to make them think that’s ok. He clearly talked bad about her first and they’re just co-signing what he said. He is absolutely horrible and she should get a divorce ASAP!!! F HIM
@@pyrophoresist1497 Thanks for being honest. I sort of do mind because ive seen how bad it gets when one cant tolerate the other any more... For example it takes little for my mother to get pissed at my father because she thinks he's a loser. Or how my uncle bullies my aunt calling her lazy whenever she makes a small mistake. I dont ever want to reach a point like that.😕
Emma - if you read this, RUN. It will only get worse if you stay. My ex-husband did the same thing to me, and I am so glad that I left. You are beautiful, and if your husband can't see that, screw him.
My ex actually told me after having two kids in two years “you can’t tell me every woman who’s had a kid looks like that?” I was 5’ 4” and weighed 135 after having the 2 kids. I had been 120 before. When he finally left me when the kids were one and three, he said it was to teach me a lesson that “you will find out I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.” Um….nope….I thank God every day that he wanted to teach me a lesson. When he tried to come back, I told him no.
What a horribly shallow man! One day he may be bald with more hair growing out his ears than anywhere else, and not be able to get it up anymore - it will be a come to jesus moment for him to realize how terribly he acted to you after bearing his children. I'm glad you told him no, honestly:)
The issue here is not if she's pretty or ugly. The issue is that the husband feels too comfortable disrespecting his wife to others behind her back. If it's not her ugliness that's the topic of conversation, it will be her attractiveness. Any person that shares TMI about their personal life is not to be trusted.
so weird too. We all are shallow to some extent but love makes you see flaws as beautiful, in my opinion. I would never disrespect the man I love and his looks because he may not look like my past. I certainly wouldn't discuss my spouses looks or body to my friends.
The issue is he hasn’t been honest with his wife, not that he’s overshared with his friends. Everyone needs an outlet but your spouse should come first.
Literally what women do. They share the most intimate details with their friends. Just like you, I genuinely believe most women lack self awareness and only understand things are wrong when it's happening to them
@@camelio10 I've never met a woman or been apart of a group of women whom called their spouses unattractive, most especially with other men present. Stop acting like men don't talk in their in group they 100% do. This video was a clear example.
Early on in my marriage, my Dad gave me the best marriage advice I've probably ever received directly. My husband and I had some arguments, and we both needed some guidance, so we talked to my Dad. My dad is probably the most neutral person to talk to about interpersonal conflict in both my and my husband's life. And he told us this during our conversation " Every time you speak to each other, remember, some words can never be taken back. And some things said can be forgiven but not forgotten. " The idea of saying something that hurts someone you love that they won't forget about brings a whole new perspective to the longevity of our words.
My ex husband called me a cu-t and a wh--e, and l NEVER forgave him, nor did l forget these disgusting names he called me. Thank God he's an ex husband.
Just her thinking she made a mistake by overhearing this accidentally, tells me she has low self-esteem. Her husband is in the wrong here. He should have protected her and put his “friends” in their place.
@@dekev7503 he in the wrong because why would he let his friends troll his wife like that? Super disrespectful. And yes, thats part of it but women also want to be desired and attractive to their man. Thats common sense.
@@dekev7503 Why didn't he say that to his wife's face? Why is he degrading his wife behind her back, and infront of his friends? Why are his frinds allowed to comment on his wife like this? Why didn't he stand up for his wife? Don't men tell women not degrade their husbands to their friends? Especially male friends?
He was in on the conversation. He’s been talking about her to his friends like this all the time. They were just having a conversation that they were used to having. It’s All on Him, not his friends. They can only say what he allows them to say about his wife. It’s his character and awful treatment of his new bride. This is horrible!
What do you call "but she makes me happy" and "she is beautiful on the inside"? Was that him attacking her character? The fact that you only hear what you want to hear and not what was actually said. Pls don't vote
The fact that his friends had the audacity to talk about his wife in such a manner shows that this was not the first time he spoke ill about his wife to others . They know he doesn’t respect her and hence feel comfortable disrespecting her
This video actually made me cry my heart felt so sad for her. I can't help wonder if she already knew this by the way she answered she's considering staying to ask a question do you think that he would still love me even though I'm not attractive it just tells me a lot I feel that this was an issue before I feel that she may have had a history of being told she wasn't attractive which lowered herself esteem and the first man that showed her anything different was the one she married. I do believe that there is some financial gain in this for him because that wasn't brought up but I do believe it. The part I'm having trouble with now is God forbid if they have children is he really going to want anybody hurt if you feel she's that unattractive and I believe he does feel she is that unattractive she just didn't want to make himself she like more than a jerk that he already is. There would be no ultimatum about who his friends are and what they are in his life. The hard conversation would be how we can immolately divide our assets and move on I would divorce him immediately. I truly believe this will happen again the women in men that he were talking to you clearly feels she's not attractive because more than one mentioned it and he stood by it you can tell that her looks were the topic of conversation before get rid of him and you get rid of all his friends. Pray on it as God to help you while you're healing move on and when the time is right the wrong place someone in your life that he's chosen especially for you
IMHO, she may want to consider preparing quietly for an exit. Speak with a lawyer. What her husband did is abusive. No one should put up with abuse. It is only going to escalate from there. It would help if she consulted with a therapist to get through this period, and perhaps as she settles in her new life.
Hubby may not be a ‘bad ‘ person and in fact this is not necessarily “how he truly feels” but he is a weak person & lacks character! He was I think a bit embarrassed by his friends questions who should never presume to ask such things!! But neither did he really stand up against them !! She can & does need to ask him for some clarification about genuine feelings and your relationship & ask for some decency and loyalty with regard to so called ‘friends’ … and how he and you move forward ! This is not ‘ dating ‘ but working at a marriage so make the effort to at least have the discussion and see what he has to say face to face!! A lot of good may come from sorting these things out!! Remember no one here is Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt . He needs to redeem himself as your safe place! And you set some clear ground rules about privacy loyalty and to whom you talk about each other & your relationship. And over time these non- friends will be edged & fade out as leftovers of former times while your happy married life takes over!!
As an older teen , My brother realized he got lots of attention by telling wild stories about me, his little sister. I had long blonde hair and was shy, and it didn’t take long for stories to be spread and exaggerated. my reputation was destroyed because everyone enjoyed the bonding and the camaraderie gossip provides. Objectively, things like this can have other dynamics at play that are NOT PERSONAL, and we should Not feel bad about( although anyone would) THOSE WHO DON’T RESPECT YOU ENOUGH TO VALUE YOUR GOOD QUALITIES CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE. A partner who doesn’t defend you doesn’t deserve you. She needs to DUMP this two- faced man ( he won’t change) and be with someone who appreciates and cherishes her for everything she is.
Honestly, I don't feel bad for her one bit. This is what I would do if i were her. She said she may be a bit chubby. Make the decision today that I'm going to get fit. I'm going to make a permanent change in my life. I'm going to talk to my doctor to get on a nutrition plan. I'm going to get on a fitness plan and stick to it. I'm going to show myself and the world what I'm made of. Whatever it takes. I'm not going to feel pitty for myself and be a victim. I'm going to put in the work on myself. There is an amazing opportunity here. Turn a negitive into a positive. She does that and in 18 months she's going to look in the mirror and won't be able to believe what she's done for herself. I wonder how she will feel then?
Imagine I called into this show and i said Dr. John, I walked in on my wife talking online with her friends and my wife said she finds me unattractive and her friends were making fun of me for being shorter than her ex and and I'm hurt and I don't know what to do. Then I tell Dr. John I'm overweight and I'm making minimum wage at my job. Dr. John what they said about me I don't think I'll ever be able to get over. I've been so sad for the last few weeks. What should be the proper advise given to me? Do you think that Dr. John is going to be like. Oh man Jeffrey, this is sooo tough for you. You have every right to not feel safe in your own home now. You poor poor baby.
@@jeffreyo5331 Yeah but you're not a woman. If you had woman's hormones you'd develope a complex and eating disorder. No joke. The proper way is to develop health in all three aspects of life. Spiritual, physical and mental. Mental health will encourage yourself. That your beautiful regardless size. That your thankful of all yourself flaws and all. Physical health encourages good hormones and good physical health. Spiritual health gives somewhere to go when nobody is around to understand. Among giving a snese of peace. It takes all theee to be healthy. Most people who only focus on physical health miss out on a healthy mentality. Sort of like those people who keep getting Botox etc.
"We don't even know if she would qualify as unattractive to most people." Forget about the colour part of it - yeah, I get it, you're not racist, blah, blah. The first sentence of your comment is really off; you missed the whole point of this episode. This isn't about what's *objectively attractive* - it's about loving your partner, and not allowing other people to denigrate them, whether or not your partner is there to hear it. What she *really* looks like, and whether she'd "qualify" as attractive isn't for anyone to say, not his friends, not me, not you - not "most people." And don't think I didn't "get" the gist of your comment - I did. It still sucked.
She is NOT the fault. The colorism in the black community IS racism. On top of that, he allowed his friends to disrespect you?! That's more dangerous. His job is to protect you, protect his home.
You are right! He is colorist and racist. I’m so tired of people trying to ignore how common this is. It’s disgusting and women have to deal with this trash a lot.
People should marry who loves them and who they love. There are many interracial couples that have real love… the thing that is wrong is racism, in any form
@@GodWinsInTheEnd it's not about you lady. and where did they say you ware not allowed to be attracted to whomever you're attracted to? where did they say there is something wrong with that? you have no idea what you're talking about, and instead of listening, you're gaslighting and insulting the intelligence of poeple who are part of these communities and have been victims of colorism it's not about you and who you are attracted to, comparing hair and eye color with skin color, smh, of course those things have the same history of discimination smh freaking unbelievable!!
Her voice says it all. He broke her inside. She's so hurt. I can't imagine hearing my partner say something like that. I have low self esteem, but the one person I know loves me completely is him. The one person I know sees me fully is him.
Once a woman feels ugly in the eyes of the man she loves, it's done. She'll never get over it deep down. It's the same for a man if the woman he loves makes him feel unneeded. Feelings will forever change.
If I had to guess its probably the same feeling a guy would get if his wife made a disparaging comment about his performance in bed or size or something like that. Something that just slowly eats at you in the back of your mind. This dude is a fucking piece of work.
I don't believe in divorce so I hope they work it out. I don't think that a person has to look like a model. Her husband must've married her for other reasons besides beauty. They can work this out, but they'll need really strong communication, and they'll have to work on building trust.
As a married man, this was gut wrenching to hear. There is no possible universe where I would demean or disrespect my wife like that, and ESPECIALLY not to an EX! My heart breaks for her!
I feel like there is so much pressure on women to look beautiful, and many are self conscious as it is. To hear or find out, that your husband thinks you are ugly, would be crushing. Speaking from personal experience, there are things that still make me self conscious, because some a-hole guy made fun of me as a teenager. If you want to make the woman in your life feel good and secure, make her feel pretty and wanted.
I hope she was able to get the marriage annulled. Physical attraction is very important in a relationship. The husband sounds like he settled. He was talking trash behind her back. This was totally unacceptable and disrespectful. She should cut her losses while she can and have the marriage annulled.
The most messed up part is that this cruel conversation seems to have previous context. Since the "friends" brought up the husband's dissatisfaction with her looks, it's clear he's mentioned such before. It's terrible that he doesn't find her attractive, but I think it's even worse that he openly dishonors his wife and allows others to do the same, as if she's some running a gag or something. Not cool.
The troubling thing is a group of peers old enough to legally marry and still seem to have an attitude of "Bro, she's not pretty enough or cool enough to hang with us." Shouldn't they have outgrown this sometime in high school? It shouldn't be *just* the husband defending her - if *anyone* said this, wouldn't any other mature person call him/her out? They're *all* so shallow this kind of thing is okay?
@@fotismichael1877 nah she just got fat and still expects the guy to pretend to get hot about the idea of throwing some flour on her and hunting for the wet spot
After I had my second child, my husband caught me looking very upset about my weight in the mirror. He began to cry and told me to never look at myself like that again. He told me I was beautiful no matter what. She deserves the same! I hate that her husband has destroyed her self esteem…
That’s beautiful. Mine told me I was no longer attractive. To be fair I gained too much weight. So I lost it all and got in the best shape of my life. Then I left him. (Not just because of that but because of so many issues).
Guys, I once dated a girl who was not up to "Instagram" standards. But in my eyes she was attractive and she had a GREAT sense of humor. A few times I would be seen with her by people I know. I t never failed "bro what are you doing?" Or "eldred, you can do way better" AND EVERY SINGLE TIME I IMMEDIATELY STOOD UP FOR HER. And she wasn't even my wife. If someone asks me if I'm attracted to my wife, as in insinuating she ain't pretty, they're cut from life immediately.
I asked my boyfriend if I could take a nap on his bed because I had a headache. I couldn't sleep but still lied there hoping it'll still go away, and eventually he took a phone call. Long story short, he told that person that he had to settle for less and that I'm "good enough". I left later that day and didn't explain myself until a couple of weeks later. He apologized and I never talked to him again.
Colorism is real in the Black community. I am a dark-skinned woman and have been treated in a worse fashion in MY OWN COMMUNITY due to colorism. (Treatment included terminated engagements and questions of potential future children's skin color) I am deeply saddened for this woman. I would not keep a man like that.
Yup I’ve seen it both ways… either the person isn’t dark enough to be black discriminating esp against mixed race people or the person is too dark skinned. Rude comments about mixed race couples. It’s horrible! My sister is having a baby with her bf who is half-white half-black and we’re so excited to see Baby Bean soon - what will her hair and eye color be? Ginger or brown or a bit of both? She’ll be beautiful no matter what. Bc her parents are amazing people - I know she will be, too. Some of the kindest souls I’ve met have not been the most beautiful. And some of the ugliest personalities look like super models. And it’s had nothing to do with skin color. Good people come from any background. Sorry you have experienced that. *hug*
@@schuylergeery-zink1923 it does not go both ways and if you are mixed you are both black and white. Unless you’re a neo nazi who believes black ancestry erases white ancestry.
Colorism exists in the Asian community also, this is a class thing with Asians. If you're darker skin it's because you labor outside for a living, so you're considered lower class and blue collar. Light skin denotes an indoors privileged lifestyle, which is why women are obsessed with skin lightening creams in Asian countries.
@@angelawesselsdo you want a partner that loves your character and finds your looks decent. Or one that loves your looks and finds your character decent. Look it’s is not easy to find a guy that loves you for you and is willing to let go of his physical requirements.
I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago. He admitted to me that he wasn’t attracted to me at the beginning but that I “won him over”. I was made aware that I wasn’t what he imagined for himself, and that pain has taken a toll on my self esteem more deeply than anything ever before in my life. It takes a while to rebuild and you’re never 100% again.
Girl, DO NOT TOLERATE someone saying you are not beautiful. Are you kidding me!! Start your exit plan. You are beautiful inside and out. Start saving some money, get a therapist and run!!! You’re husband SHOULD think you are beautiful… he is not worth it.
Yes you can love a person and like a person that is not attractive, that is not the problem here ,the problem here is that one thing is knowing this as a fact and another is talking crap with you friends about it ,in this case is husband to woman and people is outrage, but most of the time we the women tend to do this kind of crap talk bad about out husband with our friends , either way is not okay to put down your partner. Any way most people don't end up with the fictional beatifull partner they think they will choose .He has issues, and she has even bigger issues, Just be presentable on the outside and beautiful on the inside . And for him he need to accept that he doesn't have the most fisically beautiful woman among his friends but she is so wonderful on the inside that you could not resist but to marry her and be attracted to that beauty .
@@elainelight9286 only you give people power of talking down on your spouse or partners , he definitely initiated this as his issues and they were all acting like a therapy as it's his biggest problem . He disrespected first which allowed outsiders have an opinion about her , he is not protective of her , it's scary to be with a man like that when you don't even know if he respects or protects your honor , I don't pray that on my enemies either .
The worst is the lack of loyalty. He’s having conversations with friends (some of the women) more intimate than his relationship with his wife. He’s placed them above her.
This is because he truly doesn’t love his wife, but she is useful to him in some way shape or form because he married her. His wife is more like a utility.
"Can he really love me if I'm not attractive?" the real question needs to be "Can he really love me if he constantly talks disrespectfully about me to his friends?" and the answer is no.
But if you actually listen to her recounting of the conversation, basically he was defending her by pointing out the qualities of hers he liked. He only admitted that the ex was more attractive, not out of disrespect but because it was simply true.
KD but then again it was his „truth“, it so fking subjective.. I thought my ex was „the most handsome man alive“ well guess what? My friend says he looks like a horse and ugly af… so like for real it’s not even his opinion that the issue here you missed the whole point.. it’s the fact that HE was discussing her with other people behind her back and it’s disrespectful and if he really had feelings for her he would discuss her weight issue with her instead of behind her back also some people can’t lose weight for example one girl I knew had heart condition and can NOT exercise so what she is not worth of love? This is retarded to say the least
@didles123 ya but that's super messed up to say. I would be devastated if my husband said that his ex was prettier than me. You just don't say that to your partner even if you feel like it is true.
I’m getting married in 6 months, and all I know is that NOBODY is going to be allowed to bad mouth my future wife in front of me. That will be shut down immediately. Luckily, my friends and family are all people that would never do something like that. Her husband’s “friends” are not true friends.
@@miriamespinoza3766 everything you said is perfectly fine. Honesty out of love and concern for your friends is admirable and right. I guess my original post has to do with “friends” that deliberately go out of their way to diminish your spouse in front of you. Just spouting hurtful things like “dude your wife is soooo ugly and fat, how can you be attracted to her!?” Those people will have no place in my life, if they ever show themselves
How could she? When someone shows you their real selves believe them. She can't unsee that snake's real face, and she shouldn't. She can do so much better, so so so much better. His "friends" sound just as vile as him.
Thirty years ago i was newly married and overheard my husband describe me to his friend as "a fungus. She's so gross I won't even pick her off of me." I never recovered from that. I should have gone for counseling, but I shut down. I got small. I shut him out. We'd just begun, but we were over because clearly his reason for marrying me had nothing to do with who i was. And I was beautiful back then, inside and out. ALWAYS have your spouse's back because you are ONE. Daggers aimed at your spouse will KILL your marriage if you aren't a shield.
This is exactly what I have been trying to explain to someone else on another set of comments and replies in this section. Being alone would be far preferable to me than being in a relationship where I believe my partner feels I’m “less than.” Besides, the assumption that no one else would possibly have me is erroneous. We are all someone’s version of spectacular.
This is horrific! I would rather be alone, I wouldn’t be able to be intimate or anything with my significant other knowing this. The fact that his so-called “friends” would even feel comfortable saying that is beyond…
He should have shut down any conversation about his wife ... his so called friends disrespecting his wife is also disrespecting him ... Imagine when they are off the phone what they say about HIM 🙄
@@clarkclarke Well clearly he welcomed the conversation at a previous time or they wouldn’t be bringing it up again. You’re right he lacks self respect, so I presume he doesn’t know how extend respect to his spouse…
The fact that she said "maybe I'm a little chubby" broke my heart. HE is making her feel this way. Throw the whole man out. Get divorced now before you're stuck.
@@logichaver5642 appearances change over time. We will gain and lose weight. Have children and gain stretch marks, or loose skin. Gain wrinkles and scars. Get grey hairs or lose our hair all together. Yes, sexual attraction is important, but you should be sexually attracted to your partner for more than their physicalities. My fiance and I have both gained weight in the time we've been together. It has not affected my attraction to him at all, and he always tells me that my weight won't be a problem for him until my health is at risk. If her husband is concerned about her weight, due to health or looks, he needs to tell HER and not be joking with his friends about it.
She is probably just self-aware and knows she's a little chubby (doesn't mean she's not beautiful). I'm gorgeous and a little chubby- it happens. 😂💁🏻♀️. She had no idea that he didn't find her attractive before she heard it so he isn't doing anything wrong by feeling that way. Those are his honest feelings- you can't fault people for how he feels. He should have given her the respect of telling her the truth though - in my opinion. So she can choose or do something about it. What's extremely DISRESPECTFUL is that he is taking to women about this and NOT her. Oh no- that is what is unacceptable.
Honestly, I don't feel bad for her one bit. This is what I would do if i were her. She said she may be a bit chubby. Make the decision today that I'm going to get fit. I'm going to make a permanent change in my life. I'm going to talk to my doctor to get on a nutrition plan. I'm going to get on a fitness plan and stick to it. I'm going to show myself and the world what I'm made of. Whatever it takes. I'm not going to feel pitty for myself and be a victim. I'm going to put in the work on myself. There is an amazing opportunity here. Turn a negitive into a positive. She does that and in 18 months she's going to look in the mirror and won't be able to believe what she's done for herself. I wonder how she will feel then?
He also has a problem with her skin tone too. Why didn't he go for what he wanted but instead settled for less as he feels he has. He doesn't value her, and he never will.
If she gets a divorce she's probably not gonna be able to remarry. If she's not attractive and has self confidence issues then a better guy is not gonna happen for her.
This relationship will never be the same. That betrayal hurts deep and the scar will always be there. The worst part is he’ll always remind her of that scar.
An almost identical situation have happened to me with my ex boyfriend. We talked, i forgave him, a year had passed and i realised i couldn't just forget it. We broke up and that is the best thing that happened to us, trully.
I lost it when she said : can he love me if « I’m not attractive » as opposed to « if he does not find me attractive ». That means it’s already affecting the way she sees herself and I hate that
Yea, I caught that too. My heart hurts for her. Sounds like she had it in her head that she isn’t attractive. She sounds like she wants to stay with him. If he can talk about that stuff with his friends, imagine what else he tells them about her behind her back.
We have a saying in our culture. Spouses are eachothers clothes. Meaning you cover, protect, and make your spouses looks good for each other and in front of other people. Like a good clothes you wear for your body.
@@duvessa2003" هُنَّ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّهُنَّ ۗ" Your spouses are a garment1 for you as you are for them (Garment” (libâs) is a metaphor for comfort, chastity, and protection) It's from Quran surah 2 ayah 187.
You should listen to the women on some of these black dating channels. The number one guy they request is tall DARK and handsome. They sometimes say they will consider a lighter skin guy. I find it hard to believe that you have never heard your friends or other black women say something like that. Or does it only matter when it is about a woman?
I’m not sure why you’re making this about men. In THIS situation, the man has an issue with darker-skinned women. He could have some personal issues that he has not worked through or maybe his preference is just heavily influenced by societal beauty standards. And even if you do look at the stats, studies show that black men date out more than black women. The bigger issue is that this jerk is holding her from someone who will genuinely be attracted to her skin tone, body type and personality. And what’s sad is that she has been so negatively impacted by what she heard that she most likely doesn’t feel that anyone else would want her. I pray she gets out and finds a man who will genuinely love her for who she is.
That’s most of our black men now thanks to men like Kevin Samuels and all the NBA NFL and black male celebrities who encourage other black men to chase white or bi racial women SMH
@@vernonu7314 hereeeee we go. When it is about our issues you have to make it a competition. "Oh i was sexually assaulted" Probably you: "oh but well MEN also get assaulted or does it only matter when it's women". Like you sound stupid. White men are STILL statistically the most DESIRABLE race. Yet you people arent't satisfied and everything bust be a competition to u...
@@ananimity7332 I'm so sorry that you have those scars. My scars are from my constant battle with my bulge and getting picked on for my weight. It's awful. I'll be 50 in June, and those scars/negative thoughts NEVER go away, no matter what shape we're currently in.
I had a husband who just didn't find me attractive. It's the worst! As much as I wouldn't wish divorce in my worst enemy... It's so much better than staying with someone who doesn't respect you.
Listening to this as a black woman, John handled this sooo well. He really understood the issue, he got it and his words were powerful. Colorism is a big issue in the black community. I loved John’s line telling Emma to tel her husband that “now I don’t feel safe in my own skin” WOW. Also when he said that now her husband has become just like society, talking bad about her skin and weight, when he was meant to be her safe place from all of that. Well done john!!
He did really well! As a black woman the colourist is a real issue here in our community. You here these sly comments all the time from men and even woman them-self. It’s disheartening people in our own community have this sort of self hate.
As a woman, I say this: Fellas please don’t cap. If she ain’t your type physically don’t waste her time and your time marrying her. She can be the most wonderful woman in the world. But if she isn’t your type physically DON’T DO IT. Would you want a woman to marry you simply for money but isn’t sexually attracted to you??
Thank you. My point exactly. Im dating a man like this now. He is a so called Christian too and claims physical attraction isn't everything and loves me for me. But is complaining up down that he hates my natural hair and that it being straightened with flat irons aint good enough....it must be permed and styled his way. He claims Im too skinny and need to stop being vegan and eat meat so my boobs and butt can be bigger. He confused.....smh....but he claims looks dont matter. He delusional and lying to himself. Im ready for him to just bounce. Instead of waisting my time. I ain't got time for this toxic mess
@@thevegantitian Why are you waiting on him to bounce? You bounce. Do HIM a favor and help him avoid marrying a girl who isn't slim-thick with bone straight hair. You don't have time for that. Have a serious conversation about it and move on.
@@elsagrace3893 But if that's the ONLY thing she's into that wouldn't make it right. Money does matter of course but rich celebrities divorce all the time. There's more to it than money and looks.
She will never forget this for the rest of her life. The fact that a person would allow “friends” to talk about their partner that way is telling. I would never let anyone speak to me about what my husband looks like, ever.
“hello, wife standing here right behind you!” (I did that at a job once, & my boss made me apologize to the people that were talking about me behind my back 🤬)
A man stated that a real man likes women any size not always the skinny ones. We women are led to believe we are not good enough. But Men don't care like we do.
I know exactly how this feels. My boyfriend in highschool was telling a bunch of people that he didn’t find me attractive, and was only with me until he found someone better… His best friend told me he was saying all this stuff behind my back, but I refused to believe that, it seemed so out of character. So he called my boyfriend one day and had me listen in on the conversation, and I heard it with my own ears. My heart broke. It was the most painful experience ever, and so humiliating. I still remember the way my heart dropped into my stomach when I heard him say he was only with me until he found someone better. I can only imagine how this woman must feel to have her HUSBAND say that. Men who do this to their wives (and vice versa) are cowards and the ugliest people of all. Why be in a relationship with someone when you feel like you’re just “settling.” Funny thing is, once I left him, he came running back, begging for a second chance. Even all these years later, he still tries to DM me. Make it make sense 🙃🙃
This guy friend did you a favor...Yes, it was painful but you were LUCKY he thought HIGHLY of you and came to you so you can make an informed decision...If you never heard that phone call, how much more time of your life would be wasted ? ...I think most people would want to know if someone was speaking like this....UGH, that boyfriend was despicable......
@@RG-hf4et I'm still grateful he told me. He kept trying to tell me, but I was in denial until I heard it for myself from my boyfriend's own mouth. That's when I was finally able to let go and leave the situation, after 3 years of thinking I was in love with this boy and that he loved me back. Tbh not only did it break my heart, it took me years after that to finally rebuild my self esteem and to relearn that I was worthy enough to be loved. It took years to learn to trust again, and honestly I still struggle with all these things. That's why I think people who lie, manipulate, or cheat on their partners are so vile and cruel. They don't realize how much they can hurt the other person.
@@MAYBEE90 Exactly. I have hurts from a long time ago. I no longer trust men in a romantic sense..... We are FAR better off alone with our family, friends, job, interests, and pets than to be with a liar, a disrespectful partner or one who disrespects you to your face or behind your back. Keep busy & stay strong, my friend!!
I love listening to John’s show and put on his vids as something to listen to when doing other things. I’m listening but not always 100% locked in per say. Damn, this call had me locked in and hanging on every word. I was yelling out loud at the same time John was. Saying that her husband is not her safe place hit it on the head imo. When John said “the spirit of the person I’m talking to is stunning”, I cried. The emotion in his voice was just so present. That woman received more tenderness, respect, care and consideration through a 20 min phone call from a man she has never met than she EVER has from a man who swore vows to her and that broke me. Wishing this amazing, brave, beautiful woman healing and happiness. ❤
He did her a selfish disservice of marrying her. The thing is not every man wants the same thing. There are men who are GENUINELY attracted to darker skin and plumper/thick/ or outright fat women. She could have ended up with a man who ACTUALLY had stars on his eyes when he looked at her. He robbed her of that. Now she has to start over with someone new or stay and try to build around this hole he created in her security within this relationship.
So many black men are on this bandwagon it’s so disgusting I’m light skin and petite and they just obsessed with this look it disgusts me because my mother is dark skin
@@ranip7644 self hate with alot of these black men especially these toxic unhealthy NBA and NFL players and rappers,,I hate to say their "'preferences" can have them,,making everyone a "baby mama" and a joke in the lime light SMH
That's some big facts right there, it IS such a huge disservice. He obviously knows this woman has a beautiful character and personality... If the looks are seriously a problem for you to the degree you need to talk about that!! Wow just, he would be better off to leave her alone and let someone truely appreciate everything she is. I hope she got out of that, no woman needs to hear even one time this from her husband! So disgusting!!
It doesn't matter if it's beautiful in itself or not. It matters that he's not attracted to that and it's a HUGE issue both because of the fact itself and MOSTLY because he kinda agreed that he went down from his ex and he talking about it with others. The shade is the skin is irrelevant in itself.
@@huskytailyes the issue here isn't that he doesn't find his wife to be very attractive, it's the fact he discusses this stuff with his friends... Especially since they are female friends and that imo makes it far worse. Never disrespect your wife like that to others.
@@NathanXYX. I didn’t say everything in life should be done for oneself. I agree there are times that would be selfish. But I don’t think this is one of them.
I know his character. He wants to downgrade the image of his wife to these women because he wants to leave the door open for getting with them. He won’t be faithful. They believe they are above her, and he must be at her level by default. He diminishes her, placing her below him, in an effort to set his level higher, thus remaining open for them.
It wasn’t a mistake for her to hear that, it was a BLESSING. Can you get an ANNULMENT sis? I’m sorry but it’s OVER. You deserve BETTER. GOODBYE. NO, just NO. He crossed a serious BOUNDARY and completely DISRESPECTED his new wife.
I agree with the annulment route. He still has lots of conversations with female friends who are trying to pry. I would tell him. It's possible he was influenced by those friends. I would see what happens after she tells him.
As someone who is also newly married I cannot imagine how much this pain has caused her. I cannot imagine overhearing this especially with my husband telling another female.
I would have interrupted the chat with "well it's good to know the great things you say about me amongst your friends" and just walk off. they would all be crapping their pants lol. I wouldn't have her sense of control to just keep it to myself 🤣
For me…I think I would have packed my bags and left. If not forever, at least for as long as it took for him to come and tell me what he was really thinking and why he would have that conversation with people outside the two of you.
Emma, I was in ur place 13 years ago. I pretended to forget and move on. Finally after 13 years he brutally left me. Just leave him. U worth more than he thinks. U need to feel beautiful.
My life partner of 10 years told me in so many words that he didn't find me that attractive. This was after we had been together for many years. It broke my heart. I did what this lady is doing and kept it inside. He then shortly afterwards died in a car accident and there was no way of getting closure. Many people throughout my life have let me know that I don't measure up physically. Even family members have made comments. People are cruel. It has had a devastating impact on my self-esteem. I understand this lady and feel for her.
Closure or no, you’re free of him. My husband was done with me, but would do nothing to fix it together. At his death I felt like all chances of fixing it were gone. But no. I’ve grown since then and exult in my happiness. You can too.
You look gorgeous in your profile picture if that’s you ❤️ There’s billions of men out there, plenty that will see your beauty & incomparable uniqueness ❤️
Exactly .. like she would have rather went about her marriage completely oblivious to how her husband feels. He seems like a total jerk who doesn’t deserve her.
The caller should be careful with her husband, and move out. He may be using her for something else (money, housing, immigration, housework, babies, or he needed to get married to make his family happy). If she cannot get a divorce/annulment, she can still move out and seperate her finances from him.
This poor girl. She sounds so timid and shy, I feel like her calling in was a sheer act of bravery. I would love to know what happened to this situation. The reality is, if he "settled" he needs to sit with that and not gossip about his wife to other people. That's disrespectful as hell. Or, he could be a man and not marry a woman he's not attracted to. "She makes me happy" meaning he can use her for other things and fulfill his needs that way, it's not about her happiness, her well being, or any of that. You can't help who you're attracted to, so the best thing you can do is leave those people for who's attracted to them and be on your way and vice versa. She deserves a man who will love her for her.
"Can he really love me if I'm not attractive?" That just broke my heart. Poor woman.
She says it like it's objectively true that she either is or isn't attractive. Because society treats it like that. But this is about him finding her attractive. She isn't unattractive to every single person in the world, I promise.
HOPEFULLY, she'll meet someone who finds her jaw dropping gorgeous and attractive that will treat her like a QUEEN. So the now husband can find himself in a shithole :-)
Yes my heart broke when I heard that.
It broke my heart too
Someone can. Maybe not him.
Being with no one is better than being with the wrong one.
PRECISELY!!!!!!!!!
Tell your cats lol
@andrewbradley3305 they agree. Men are useless. Just takers. Takers of energy, time, and resources.
Hear hear
@@andrewbradley3305gladly 😂 that's not even an insult!
Her husband and these so called friends are used to talking about her behind her back while smiling in her face. How sickening.
This. 😢
HA, I know this feeling real well - happened to me. I was sick to my stomach. Yikes!
Yeah, this is not the first time. Husband and friends are toxic people. Sad situation for her. Maybe she can get an annulment?
That's what I was thinking. Very shallow disloyal friends. Cowardly husband.
I've been there and it hurts so bad
That wasn’t a “mistake” that she forgot something @ the house. That was God showing her who her husband really was✨
What about when this doesn’t happen, does God just not pay attention
@@Juicersen so, being an internet tr0ll, don't you have a bridge somewhere to cr@wl back under?
It wasn't god, but it wasn't a mistake either. What could she have forgotten for a walk? Her shoes? Her feet? She was spying. It's a damn good thing she was, but still, there is nothing to forget on a walk.
@@Valefolken lol.. May be😁
So why did god let her marry this prick in the first place?
You didn’t make a mistake… you were 10000% meant to turn back and hear that disrespect first hand.
RIGHT!! First thing I said when I heard that
I'm sure he has said something to indicate she is not his choice. She ignored it.
Exactly. She still has a way out early on. She can find someone who truly appreciates and loves her.
Sounds like the guy moves from one relationship to another insanely quickly and was settling? Hands down, god knew she was supposed to hear that!
It was a GIFT. Eye opening.
NEVER speak poorly about your spouse to anyone. First rule of a marriage.
My mom did all time they stay married for life, My grandmother said the reason she married a short man is so she could beat his ass if had to, they stayed married for life. I see a double standards here I hear women trash their husband all the time.
@@captainsisko7629 both are wrong 100%
@@noblegirl1991 🤦♀️
@@noblegirl1991 you go to therapy. What good will it do when you only trash your spouse without dealing with the issue. I praise my husband in public. I don’t need to put him down. We all have flaws. Those flaws will stay between us.
@@captainsisko7629 Both are wrong. It's a way manipulative people keep others from knowing their worth. The unattractive partner is supposed to shut it down.
She's very timid. You can hear it in her voice and by her blaming herself for walking in and overhearing him. I commend her for calling. It took bravery to reach out.
She is super eloquent absolutely adore it 😍
Or: She lied and was eavesdropping. Notice she went back for "Something." And then proceeded to listen to minutes more of conversation
@@DCYou-x6ywomen can do no wrong on this channel. She was already in the wrong by being overweight and expecting to have a husband who lies to her. But as John does, he coddles
@@ceelothatmane9421what is wrong with you. Go listen to fresh and fit and keep on disappointing your mother and wife.
@@tako2212 being obese is not okay. 🤷🏽♂️
The brokenness in her voice breaks my heart. He hurt her to her core and she is so wounded. Words like that are soul-crushing.
She broke John.
Yes, and that's a month later. I feel that this man is not worth it seriously.
What betrayal she must feel. 😢
For real, I was heart broken as a teenager hearing my “FRIEND” say I was ugly. I sobbed. It hurt me to my core. I cannot imagine what this woman is feeling….ugh. My heart breaks.
What kind of "friends" would think it's okay to make fun of their friend's wife???? Sickening.
Who, over the age of 15, tells somebody "You can do better, s/he's not attractive enough to be one of us?"
His "friend" who he used to sleep with or his current girlfriend.
Colorists? Racists?
Your right! It’s gross.
@@YahsLoveisEnough - He’s DEFinitely colorist.
Girl you have no kids walk away immediately. It only gets worse!
Why does it always have to be the woman leaving. He needs to walk away if he’s uncomfortable otherwise he should deal with her being ugly. He chose her despite her ugliness right. So then he should deal with it. I’d have a conversation with him and report this to someone he hold in high regard
So he can feel embarrassed. He needs to be accountable to someone. That’s the only way I’ll have my peace. He needs to have boundaries with his friends and get rid of his female friends smh. The nerve for them to ask such questions.
Being ok with being alone is the most important leverage to a healthy relationship if any and just a healthy life in general.
@@erejo3274 You must really hate yourself to want to stay with someone like him. Settling for not even the bare minimum.
Why not just realize that the husband sees his wife as ugly but sees her overall as being amazing and great? Not everyone is gonna win in the looks department, but are great everywhere else and the fact that he married her despite her looking like an ogre is because he loves her ...ugly spouses are the best spouses anyway because they work harder and you dont have to worry about anyone stealing them away. "Hot" wives are narcissistic and will leave you when something better comes along, they are not wife material. Just my two cents
@@sew_gal7340 what she looks like isn’t the point. The point is he shouldn’t be talking about his wife like that or sitting listening to others speak of her like that. Someone doesn’t have to be like a model for the person who loves them to see them as beautiful. To find it acceptable for his ‘friend’ to ask about their honeymoon and her attractiveness is disloyal and cruelIt isn’t possible to have a happy marriage and talk about your partner in a derogatory and personal way like that. A happy marriage is based on love, respect and trust. What happens when we get old? Does love end? No, because real love has little to do with looks apart from the initial attraction.
She sounds like a beautiful person to me and she deserves so much better than a jerk who would let these bitches talk about his wife like that. She needs an upgrade. Give him back his worthless ring. You can do better ❤
Im a chubbier girl and my bf is extremely fit. I told him i wanted to work on loosing weight and bf hoped up giving me great workouts and advice. We sat down and he made a journal with me. He was about to give it to me but stoped saying. "Before i give this to you, i want you to know that right now i love you just the way you are. I love you and your body. Dont do any of this for me, do it for you." Yeah he is definitely the one for me, find someone that loves you for you.
My husband always says that he loves me, all of me. But if I am not happy with the way I look, I am the only one who can do anything about it. And that I should do it for myself and not for him.
Man I love that. My wife put a bit of weight on whilst being locked down through covid and being prescribed some medication that fucked up her hormones. She almost hates who she sees in the mirror and she tells me the only thing that keeps her going sometimes is knowing how deeply I love her way beyond anything to do with our flesh suit. She feels this way because it's true. She's my wife! My person. I'm pretty sure what she is going through is temporary and she is determined enough to become the woman she wants to be but nothing will change for me. Everything is just a stage and who she is is why I chose to spend my life with her. Emma's husband is an idiot. I hope she's ok.
Wow! I love your comment!
That's so sweet it almost hurts haha I have a man like that now too.
You are extremely attractive though
The fact his “friends” have been empowered by him to speak so freely about her looks says so much about his lack of character. She should leave and never look back.
Not only that, but the fact that he's having conversations with other women while his wife was supposedly out of the house is really bad indication of his moral worth.
. HE'S NOT WORTH ANYTHING,NADA,ZILCH ZERO
By her own admission this is the best she can hope for. He loves her for her character and she hasn't worked on her physique. Any future man will have to contend with that struggle + her low self esteem + her new paranoia. She's done this to herself and if she follows your advice she'll be even more miserable. Why not advise her to improve herself instead of burn her bridges?
You are right. She will waste the best years of her life if she stays with him.
I think that's the issue here. I have been in the position of not being defended by my partner, and someone who allows that is, unfortunately, a very unsafe person to be with. I bet she's beautiful, but he makes her feel less so. Toxic.
I literally cried for this woman after hearing only the first sentence… “I overheard my husband and his friends making fun of me.”
That is so cruel. She deserves better.
Girl I was trying to hold it back but as it kept going I had to let it out. How do you keep waking up to himmmm. That hurts so much.
This is terrible, can't imagine overhearing my girlfriend or wife talking about me like that. I feel so bad for this woman.
I'm new here..do we ever get updates?
Geez. Newly married as well. Should have walked in on this conversation before the wedding as it’s clear the husband has been discussing his ‘issues’ with her for awhile beforehand
She will never be the same again, with him or in any other relationship. She will always have that doubt now. 😢
You can hear deep, irreversible pain in her voice.
Girl, run. Nothing is worth feeling that way.
I can imagine that she feels as though she’ll never get married again or even find someone that finds her attractive.
Agreed
I feel so sorry for her🥺 so terrible
He doesn't love her. Not one time did he tell his friend(s) how he felt abt her at the time. As a matter of fact from what she said the friend asked him if her looks were "still" a problem for him. That leads me to think of a few things: he is ashamed of her since his friends do not like her, he is an insecure man in which can turn out to be a dangerous man (controlling that could turn into physical abuse) or he is benefitting from her financially. It sounds like she has already made up her mind bc it's been 5 weeks and she said she should accept it and move on. My question is how come she married someone whom she is afraid of talking to without having fears, in which they are in her voice, of losing him? Tbh she is not going to tell him anything. He knows she is vulnerable and passive. I will pray for her. 🙏🏽
You can't just run from marriage. Those vows are serious and they mean something.
His female coworkers asked him "are her looks still a problem?" Key word being "STILL". This woman needs to find someone else as her husband has CLEARLY never found her attractive and has obviously voiced this TO his female coworkers.
I caught that, too. He has clearly spoken about her looks beeing a problem to another woman before. That would break me. I feel so sorry for her.
I heard that too. I was like STILL?! Meaning that they JUST GOT MARRIED AND HE WASNT FEELING IT BEFORE? it’s one thing if there was a sudden change like people who kinda let themselves go during COVID. Sure. Okay still terrible but sorta understandable as people didn’t realize how they would react to being quarantined but this?? Nnooooooooo maaaaaaaammmm
Yes! I’m pretty sure there’s more to the situation, like why would you marry someone whose looks you had a “problem” with since before the marriage? Also she mention her skin color and that’s just too much, she needs to divorce this dude.
Most men marry whoever they feel will give them the most in a marriage, and then continue to cheat with those they consider attractive but they know would never give much of themselves in the marriage.
@@Die_GrimmI thought this was bad when I thought it was him taking to his male friends.
Somehow it’s so much worse that he’s saying these things to women.
And also , shame on all of those terrible people talking about her, and somehow I feel double shame on those women
Thus marriage is over. No woman can process the emotional wreckage of hearing the man you have chosen as a life partner demeaning your looks and laughing about it with his friends.
Total bs. Looks are so superficial. A real man marries because he finds a partner not a model.
exactly. this is totally about his not respecting his wife *and* reinforcing others disrespecting her as well.
@@TLTSofitit's not about looks per se here. it's about him having zero respect for her, and probably also not being attracted to her. he's gonna cheat sooner or later. if he is treating his partner like that, he isn't "a real man".
@@TLTSofitI agree
No it’s not over. The stupid husband will spend the rest of his life making it up to her. She will be fine. Get your car, house and bank account padded very well by him then decide if he has made up for the hurt.
*This is an oops that cannot be fixed*
Once a woman knows her man isn’t attracted to her- the fun of a relationship is over.
Why even be in a relationship with someone your not attracted too, thats half the point
Boom 💥
@@one3DoiNWoRk I have to agree. I think sometimes people actually underestimate the importance of at least some physical attraction.
This is so accurate
YUP. He's probably using her to take care of him. He sounds like a POS.
There's no fixing this. You can't unring a bell. She is never going to believe he is attracted to her. What an awful thing to happen to her.
Exactly
So true. The trust has been broken because of deceit and public shaming
EXACTLY!!
I would always wonder whenever they all got together, if they were still talking about me. That trust has been destroyed.
Such people as him will never be happy, looks or not looks, the reason being that he is low-quality himself. Drop him and forget .
Have you ever noticed that a lot of these men who criticize a woman's looks are not so handsome or hot themselves?
Yeah he’s probably a fuggin slob with a beer belly and no hair. Even if he’s prime time, it’s still unacceptable behavior.
Maybe, but men are judged on different criteria
@@jzwalz51robin45 literally it’s not fair
@@yorhaunit21o32 AND????
@@jzwalz51robin45 no we like a nice looking man as well but who cares what the woman wants…….at least how society sees us
I don’t think there’s any way back from this. She’ll never feel like she’s enough and that’s his fault. He’s not a good guy and this is actually a blessing that she was shown his true colors and can find someone who will love her for who she is.
There truly isn’t. It’s a total lack of attraction which means he truly doesn’t love her, and value her. Plus the massive disrespect on top of it by going about it behind her back. This sham of a marriage isn’t even slightly salvageable.
I don’t feel like you have to have attraction to make a marriage work. I married for “attraction” and it hasn’t worked out. In order to keep from fighting, we just keep to ourselves for the sake of the kids.
He wasn’t who he purported himself to be. I would gladly marry for character if God gave me a chance to marry again. I don’t need attraction. I would rather have respect. Love is nice to have as well but attraction has nothing to do with love.
@@meganr9280 everyone is different, but for most people, I think hearing your husband, or wife talk about your appearance to other people in a negative way would kill a large part of one’s self esteem. I think it would make almost everyone feel disregarded. I know for myself I would have filed for divorce within days if my finances would allow me to. If I couldn’t afford to go my own way I’d save up and leave as soon as I could.
Yes it is truly a blessing. She went back in at the correct moment. God moment.
Emma, this is not a mistake but God letting you know what kind of man your husband is when he allowed his friends to trash talk you! God is telling you to please leave this narcissistic, toxic, spineless POS scumbag!
Your husband is meant to be your protector, not a source of harm. This is tragic and she doesn’t deserve it
💯
Exactly! Im out that’s it
Best thing I have ever read!!!
She didn't hear that convo by accident. She was delivered and given a glimpse into the real person she married. And why are they so comfortable gossiping about her? Poor girl
100%. That was a blessing from God
Yep. I hope she ended up leaving. Because it is better to be single and happy. Then be someone else’s second choice. Because that is what she is, had her husband been able to make his relationship work with the kind of woman that he has attracted to he would’ve never looked twice at her.
Exactly
Word
The real person she married values her personality and character above her looks. Ya dunce.
To talk negative about your spouse is like treason.
Best Comment award! 🏆
Truer words never spoken!👏👍
I know people who do this and I don't want them as my friends. Yikes!
What crappy, shallow "friends" of his to bring that up! Especially discussing it with him in her home right after their wedding/honeymoon. Disgusting!
Women literally do it allll the time and y’all don’t blink an eye. Relax simp.
That’d be the last day we were friends if any of my friends talked ANYTHING negative about my wife
That's beautiful, and I wish that everyone was that way.
Exactly
Why in the world does another woman feel like she has a right to ask?! He made her feel like she could ask that type of stupid stuff! Men, you shouldn't talk to your guy friends about your wife's body.... I mean GUY friends to shoot the bull with sometimes and if there were some issues maybe they can confide in and seek counsel. But another WOMAN IS AN ABSOLUTELY NOT. You are opening a door and opportunity for the devil through a woman to work in a way that maybe you never even planned to do.
I think they need to seek a godly counselor.
This is NOT the friend’s fault. Friends don’t talk negatively about your spouse unless you’ve created a situation to make them think that’s ok. He clearly talked bad about her first and they’re just co-signing what he said. He is absolutely horrible and she should get a divorce ASAP!!! F HIM
@@TJ-qo9qt How about taking some responsibility for your own actions?
The worst part about this is she was LEAVING THE HOUSE TO GET SOME EXERCISE and he let his friends body shame her.
Walking isn't exercise
@@G.Bfit.93 It is for an overweight person. I do believe the experts call it "cardio".
@@G.Bfit.93Bruh, you high. Walking is an exercise.
Very good point! To say this while she's trying her best is just 💔
@@G.Bfit.93walk everywhere you gotta go and see what happens to ya legs and calf’s in a year then.
My last relationship taught me something I’ve heard too often, but never understood until now. “Go to where you are wanted and valued… NOT TOLERATED.”
Ah yes - "Go where you are celebrated, not where you are tolerated"
TRUTH
but what if the best i can get is "toleration"? 🙁
@@jacksquadreturns7827 That's tricky. You may have to settle for it, if you really don't mind, like many people have.
@@pyrophoresist1497 Thanks for being honest. I sort of do mind because ive seen how bad it gets when one cant tolerate the other any more... For example it takes little for my mother to get pissed at my father because she thinks he's a loser. Or how my uncle bullies my aunt calling her lazy whenever she makes a small mistake.
I dont ever want to reach a point like that.😕
As a woman, I don’t think I can ever recover from overhearing something like that. I’m in tears just listening to her speak about this. 😢
Same. It's equivalent to someone cheating.
how ? woman call their partner medium ugly all the time
@@nohome12 men's look are not that important to women. It's not the same at all.
@@Daniela-pr7rzit is! No one likes to be called ugly.
@@antnam4406 no it isn't, looks do not give men value in the eyes of women. Strength of character does.
Emma - if you read this, RUN. It will only get worse if you stay. My ex-husband did the same thing to me, and I am so glad that I left. You are beautiful, and if your husband can't see that, screw him.
You walked in on a weak man revealing himself. Sis, you deserve a strong husband who knows your value.
👏👏👏
It's time for her to leave him.
He would feel bad if she told him?
He should.
Not a reason to stay.
Him and his friends are not good people.
Amen
So well put!!!
Exactly
My ex actually told me after having two kids in two years “you can’t tell me every woman who’s had a kid looks like that?” I was 5’ 4” and weighed 135 after having the 2 kids. I had been 120 before. When he finally left me when the kids were one and three, he said it was to teach me a lesson that “you will find out I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.” Um….nope….I thank God every day that he wanted to teach me a lesson. When he tried to come back, I told him no.
What an a…hole. Wtf is wrong with people???? You will find your mate.
👏👏❤
They think they are Brad Pitt or what??? Seriously?
sounds like a narc 🙄
What a horribly shallow man! One day he may be bald with more hair growing out his ears than anywhere else, and not be able to get it up anymore - it will be a come to jesus moment for him to realize how terribly he acted to you after bearing his children. I'm glad you told him no, honestly:)
The issue here is not if she's pretty or ugly. The issue is that the husband feels too comfortable disrespecting his wife to others behind her back. If it's not her ugliness that's the topic of conversation, it will be her attractiveness. Any person that shares TMI about their personal life is not to be trusted.
And this is a discussion he seems to have had with them before.
so weird too. We all are shallow to some extent but love makes you see flaws as beautiful, in my opinion. I would never disrespect the man I love and his looks because he may not look like my past. I certainly wouldn't discuss my spouses looks or body to my friends.
The issue is he hasn’t been honest with his wife, not that he’s overshared with his friends. Everyone needs an outlet but your spouse should come first.
Literally what women do. They share the most intimate details with their friends. Just like you, I genuinely believe most women lack self awareness and only understand things are wrong when it's happening to them
@@camelio10 I've never met a woman or been apart of a group of women whom called their spouses unattractive, most especially with other men present.
Stop acting like men don't talk in their in group they 100% do. This video was a clear example.
Early on in my marriage, my Dad gave me the best marriage advice I've probably ever received directly. My husband and I had some arguments, and we both needed some guidance, so we talked to my Dad. My dad is probably the most neutral person to talk to about interpersonal conflict in both my and my husband's life. And he told us this during our conversation " Every time you speak to each other, remember, some words can never be taken back. And some things said can be forgiven but not forgotten. " The idea of saying something that hurts someone you love that they won't forget about brings a whole new perspective to the longevity of our words.
There are only 3 things you cannot take back: time, death and words
This is wisdom. Name calling. You can never take that back.
My ex husband called me a cu-t and a wh--e, and l NEVER forgave him, nor did l forget these disgusting names he called me. Thank God he's an ex husband.
Just her thinking she made a mistake by overhearing this accidentally, tells me she has low self-esteem. Her husband is in the wrong here. He should have protected her and put his “friends” in their place.
Right 😔 she’s so apologetic over something she has every right to do - walk back inside her own home.
Exactly because I would have WENT OFF. You deserve to exist in a room HONEY
He’s not in the wrong. He loves her for her inside, is that not what women say they want?
@@dekev7503 he in the wrong because why would he let his friends troll his wife like that? Super disrespectful. And yes, thats part of it but women also want to be desired and attractive to their man. Thats common sense.
@@dekev7503 Why didn't he say that to his wife's face? Why is he degrading his wife behind her back, and infront of his friends? Why are his frinds allowed to comment on his wife like this? Why didn't he stand up for his wife?
Don't men tell women not degrade their husbands to their friends? Especially male friends?
If I overheard my husband say he wasn't attracted to me, he'd overhear me talking to divorce lawyer.
😂
Right?!? MULTIPLE conversations at that… i’d grab that thing I left at the house, walk out and never speak to him directly again.
😂🤣😂😩😩😩😩😂😂😂
Grand opening/grand closing! 💅🏾🤣
Same !
The fact that her husband didn’t defend her says everything about him
Defend her? That girl asked him if it was STILL a problem. He was talking smack before. Ugh, so sad.
He was in on the conversation. He’s been talking about her to his friends like this all the time. They were just having a conversation that they were used to having. It’s All on Him, not his friends. They can only say what he allows them to say about his wife. It’s his character and awful treatment of his new bride. This is horrible!
What do you call "but she makes me happy" and "she is beautiful on the inside"? Was that him attacking her character?
The fact that you only hear what you want to hear and not what was actually said.
Pls don't vote
@@ttoclawtv you want women's standards in h*ll.
Why would the husband defend her if the husband is against her
😔 I've never been so heartbroken for a stranger
The fact that his friends had the audacity to talk about his wife in such a manner shows that this was not the first time he spoke ill about his wife to others . They know he doesn’t respect her and hence feel comfortable disrespecting her
This video actually made me cry my heart felt so sad for her. I can't help wonder if she already knew this by the way she answered she's considering staying to ask a question do you think that he would still love me even though I'm not attractive it just tells me a lot I feel that this was an issue before I feel that she may have had a history of being told she wasn't attractive which lowered herself esteem and the first man that showed her anything different was the one she married. I do believe that there is some financial gain in this for him because that wasn't brought up but I do believe it. The part I'm having trouble with now is God forbid if they have children is he really going to want anybody hurt if you feel she's that unattractive and I believe he does feel she is that unattractive she just didn't want to make himself she like more than a jerk that he already is. There would be no ultimatum about who his friends are and what they are in his life. The hard conversation would be how we can immolately divide our assets and move on I would divorce him immediately. I truly believe this will happen again the women in men that he were talking to you clearly feels she's not attractive because more than one mentioned it and he stood by it you can tell that her looks were the topic of conversation before get rid of him and you get rid of all his friends. Pray on it as God to help you while you're healing move on and when the time is right the wrong place someone in your life that he's chosen especially for you
I'm sorry there was some misspelling in there but you guys get the gist of what I'm saying I talk text and I have an accent lol
These are not his friends
IMHO, she may want to consider preparing quietly for an exit. Speak with a lawyer. What her husband did is abusive. No one should put up with abuse. It is only going to escalate from there. It would help if she consulted with a therapist to get through this period, and perhaps as she settles in her new life.
First, he's had these conversations with them before the marriage. He don't love her. She better leave. I don't see this as a win situations.
Oh hell no , any man who doesnt shut that down immediately is not a good person . How revolting.
Hubby may not be a ‘bad ‘ person and in fact this is not necessarily “how he truly feels” but he is a weak person & lacks character! He was I think a bit embarrassed by his friends questions who should never presume to ask such things!! But neither did he really stand up against them !!
She can & does need to ask him for some clarification about genuine feelings and your relationship & ask for some decency and loyalty with regard to so called ‘friends’ … and how he and you move forward ! This is not ‘ dating ‘ but working at a marriage so make the effort to at least have the discussion and see what he has to say face to face!! A lot of good may come from sorting these things out!! Remember no one here is Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt . He needs to redeem himself as your safe place! And you set some clear ground rules about privacy loyalty and to whom you talk about each other & your relationship. And over time these non- friends will be edged & fade out as leftovers of former times while your happy married life takes over!!
As an older teen , My brother realized he got lots of attention by telling wild stories about me, his little sister. I had long blonde hair and was shy, and it didn’t take long for stories to be spread and exaggerated. my reputation was destroyed because everyone enjoyed the bonding and the camaraderie gossip provides.
Objectively, things like this can have other dynamics at play that are NOT PERSONAL, and we should Not feel bad about( although anyone would) THOSE WHO DON’T RESPECT YOU ENOUGH TO VALUE YOUR GOOD QUALITIES CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE. A partner who doesn’t defend you doesn’t deserve you. She needs to DUMP this two- faced man ( he won’t change) and be with someone who appreciates and cherishes her for everything she is.
Cowardly.
@@icu3869well said🌟
That guy just doesn’t know how to control his rude friends and teach them some manners
I would never want to be intimate with my husband ever again if he did this
On what basis can any self respecting woman hear this with her own ears and decide to sleep with the offender afterwards?
@@fisf.2148 well said
Honestly, I don't feel bad for her one bit. This is what I would do if i were her. She said she may be a bit chubby. Make the decision today that I'm going to get fit. I'm going to make a permanent change in my life. I'm going to talk to my doctor to get on a nutrition plan. I'm going to get on a fitness plan and stick to it. I'm going to show myself and the world what I'm made of. Whatever it takes. I'm not going to feel pitty for myself and be a victim. I'm going to put in the work on myself. There is an amazing opportunity here. Turn a negitive into a positive. She does that and in 18 months she's going to look in the mirror and won't be able to believe what she's done for herself. I wonder how she will feel then?
Imagine I called into this show and i said Dr. John, I walked in on my wife talking online with her friends and my wife said she finds me unattractive and her friends were making fun of me for being shorter than her ex and and I'm hurt and I don't know what to do. Then I tell Dr. John I'm overweight and I'm making minimum wage at my job. Dr. John what they said about me I don't think I'll ever be able to get over. I've been so sad for the last few weeks. What should be the proper advise given to me? Do you think that Dr. John is going to be like. Oh man Jeffrey, this is sooo tough for you. You have every right to not feel safe in your own home now. You poor poor baby.
@@jeffreyo5331 Yeah but you're not a woman. If you had woman's hormones you'd develope a complex and eating disorder. No joke.
The proper way is to develop health in all three aspects of life. Spiritual, physical and mental.
Mental health will encourage yourself. That your beautiful regardless size. That your thankful of all yourself flaws and all.
Physical health encourages good hormones and good physical health.
Spiritual health gives somewhere to go when nobody is around to understand. Among giving a snese of peace.
It takes all theee to be healthy.
Most people who only focus on physical health miss out on a healthy mentality. Sort of like those people who keep getting Botox etc.
We don’t even know if she would qualify as unattractive to most people. They were judging her for having dark skin!!! Horrible!
Yes, the colorism here is shocking.
@@theresa78201it’s Not shocking at all within the black community, it’s incredibly common
"We don't even know if she would qualify as unattractive to most people." Forget about the colour part of it - yeah, I get it, you're not racist, blah, blah. The first sentence of your comment is really off; you missed the whole point of this episode. This isn't about what's *objectively attractive* - it's about loving your partner, and not allowing other people to denigrate them, whether or not your partner is there to hear it. What she *really* looks like, and whether she'd "qualify" as attractive isn't for anyone to say, not his friends, not me, not you - not "most people." And don't think I didn't "get" the gist of your comment - I did. It still sucked.
She is probably beautiful.
@@elettramia6380our Brothers & Sisters in India go through it too 💔
I would be divorced faster than Kim Kardashian if I ever heard my husband say that about me to his friends. Girl, go where you are loved.
👍👍👍👍👍👍
If you spend majority of your life going through disappointment,, and loneliness,,, sich man become "better than nothing"
He said she makes him happy.
Wow this is a sign of his character I would leave. Or have a conversation with him and a marriage counselor.
That doesn't mean you leave.
She is NOT the fault. The colorism in the black community IS racism. On top of that, he allowed his friends to disrespect you?! That's more dangerous. His job is to protect you, protect his home.
You are right! He is colorist and racist. I’m so tired of people trying to ignore how common this is. It’s disgusting and women have to deal with this trash a lot.
People should marry within their own race
Andrew, they are not an interracial couple. They are black. He is a colorist and should be ashamed of himself.
People should marry who loves them and who they love. There are many interracial couples that have real love… the thing that is wrong is racism, in any form
@@GodWinsInTheEnd it's not about you lady. and where did they say you ware not allowed to be attracted to whomever you're attracted to? where did they say there is something wrong with that?
you have no idea what you're talking about, and instead of listening, you're gaslighting and insulting the intelligence of poeple who are part of these communities and have been victims of colorism
it's not about you and who you are attracted to, comparing hair and eye color with skin color, smh, of course those things have the same history of discimination smh
freaking unbelievable!!
PLEASE do an update call with this lady. This is NOT OK. I want to hear what happened with her and what she decided to do after hearing all of this….
Yes, I was just thinking the same thing.
Yes please, we need to know. This shattered my heart
Same thought here.
It’s not okay for her to be so fat she’s breathing heavy on a phone call either🤣🎯
I also need the update
Her voice says it all. He broke her inside. She's so hurt. I can't imagine hearing my partner say something like that. I have low self esteem, but the one person I know loves me completely is him. The one person I know sees me fully is him.
Once a woman feels ugly in the eyes of the man she loves, it's done. She'll never get over it deep down. It's the same for a man if the woman he loves makes him feel unneeded. Feelings will forever change.
its true
If I had to guess its probably the same feeling a guy would get if his wife made a disparaging comment about his performance in bed or size or something like that. Something that just slowly eats at you in the back of your mind. This dude is a fucking piece of work.
Absolutely. My God this is hard to listen to
So true , been there myself but my ex said in my face still hurts this day
This marriage is over.:-( She deserves someone who makes her feel amazing!
This marriage isn't going to last. If she stays it will destroy her self esteem
Agreed. BUT we all need to own our self esteem.
She should leave...running!
I bet this is not the first red flag....she may just have disregarded others
@@JLJ8039 agreed
Her self esteem is already shot and I’m not trying to be funny!
I don't believe in divorce so I hope they work it out. I don't think that a person has to look like a model. Her husband must've married her for other reasons besides beauty. They can work this out, but they'll need really strong communication, and they'll have to work on building trust.
As a married man, this was gut wrenching to hear. There is no possible universe where I would demean or disrespect my wife like that, and ESPECIALLY not to an EX! My heart breaks for her!
It wasn’t to an ex tho
I could not imagine my husband saying that about me. So heartbreaking.
Maybe she is not attractive. Doesn't mean it doesn't like her, he is simply being objective.
@@NyakzOTSD Well that should be discussed with the wife, not behind her back.
I feel like there is so much pressure on women to look beautiful, and many are self conscious as it is. To hear or find out, that your husband thinks you are ugly, would be crushing. Speaking from personal experience, there are things that still make me self conscious, because some a-hole guy made fun of me as a teenager. If you want to make the woman in your life feel good and secure, make her feel pretty and wanted.
I hope she was able to get the marriage annulled. Physical attraction is very important in a relationship. The husband sounds like he settled. He was talking trash behind her back. This was totally unacceptable and disrespectful. She should cut her losses while she can and have the marriage annulled.
She will never get over it. The fact he was telling other women about her is even more humiliating.
The most messed up part is that this cruel conversation seems to have previous context.
Since the "friends" brought up the husband's dissatisfaction with her looks, it's clear he's mentioned such before.
It's terrible that he doesn't find her attractive, but I think it's even worse that he openly dishonors his wife and allows others to do the same, as if she's some running a gag or something.
Not cool.
It’s the worse part. My heart is breaking for her
The troubling thing is a group of peers old enough to legally marry and still seem to have an attitude of "Bro, she's not pretty enough or cool enough to hang with us." Shouldn't they have outgrown this sometime in high school? It shouldn't be *just* the husband defending her - if *anyone* said this, wouldn't any other mature person call him/her out? They're *all* so shallow this kind of thing is okay?
@@oldgeezer2780 100% they're acting like high school mean girls.
@@oldgeezer2780 great point, was thinking same; proves the level of immaturity there.
@@fotismichael1877 nah she just got fat and still expects the guy to pretend to get hot about the idea of throwing some flour on her and hunting for the wet spot
After I had my second child, my husband caught me looking very upset about my weight in the mirror. He began to cry and told me to never look at myself like that again. He told me I was beautiful no matter what. She deserves the same! I hate that her husband has destroyed her self esteem…
Her self-esteem was in tatters long before this goon of a husband entered the picture.
Why I’m I crying with this message, that’s sooo beautiful 🥹🥹
That’s beautiful. Mine told me I was no longer attractive. To be fair I gained too much weight. So I lost it all and got in the best shape of my life. Then I left him. (Not just because of that but because of so many issues).
@@vsand9798 I’m so sorry he said that to you. I hope you’re thriving and doing amazing now ❤️
Thats so sweet
Guys, I once dated a girl who was not up to "Instagram" standards. But in my eyes she was attractive and she had a GREAT sense of humor. A few times I would be seen with her by people I know. I t never failed "bro what are you doing?" Or "eldred, you can do way better" AND EVERY SINGLE TIME I IMMEDIATELY STOOD UP FOR HER. And she wasn't even my wife. If someone asks me if I'm attracted to my wife, as in insinuating she ain't pretty, they're cut from life immediately.
Yeah those people are fucked up for that. They aren’t real friends.
That's a teammate and partner. Good on you mate
Admirable, love people like this. People have to be held accountable for being morons 🍀👍
Applause for you, my mate.
Good man!!!!
I asked my boyfriend if I could take a nap on his bed because I had a headache. I couldn't sleep but still lied there hoping it'll still go away, and eventually he took a phone call. Long story short, he told that person that he had to settle for less and that I'm "good enough". I left later that day and didn't explain myself until a couple of weeks later. He apologized and I never talked to him again.
The very thought of my wife being in any pain makes me physically ill.
I hope that never changes
a true protector
But you’ll let her eat until she’s 240 pounds and can’t walk up a set of stairs without almost dying. That’s not love
A real man
@@mybestnugget7514 what
Colorism is real in the Black community.
I am a dark-skinned woman and have been treated in a worse fashion in MY OWN COMMUNITY due to colorism. (Treatment included terminated engagements and questions of potential future children's skin color)
I am deeply saddened for this woman.
I would not keep a man like that.
You shouldn't have to put up with that none from anyone. When are we going to love each other for who God created us to be?
Yup I’ve seen it both ways… either the person isn’t dark enough to be black discriminating esp against mixed race people or the person is too dark skinned. Rude comments about mixed race couples. It’s horrible!
My sister is having a baby with her bf who is half-white half-black and we’re so excited to see Baby Bean soon - what will her hair and eye color be? Ginger or brown or a bit of both? She’ll be beautiful no matter what. Bc her parents are amazing people - I know she will be, too.
Some of the kindest souls I’ve met have not been the most beautiful. And some of the ugliest personalities look like super models. And it’s had nothing to do with skin color. Good people come from any background.
Sorry you have experienced that. *hug*
@@schuylergeery-zink1923 it does not go both ways and if you are mixed you are both black and white. Unless you’re a neo nazi who believes black ancestry erases white ancestry.
Colorism exists in the Asian community also, this is a class thing with Asians. If you're darker skin it's because you labor outside for a living, so you're considered lower class and blue collar. Light skin denotes an indoors privileged lifestyle, which is why women are obsessed with skin lightening creams in Asian countries.
@@Lil-Whiskies same in India. People also bleach their skins in the phillipines
God made her turn back for a reason. She needs to be strong and decide her next step forward.
💯
I really hope she takes the out.
@@angelawesselsdo you want a partner that loves your character and finds your looks decent. Or one that loves your looks and finds your character decent. Look it’s is not easy to find a guy that loves you for you and is willing to let go of his physical requirements.
@@honestfriend767 apparently its also not easy to find someone who respects his wife enough to not talk trash about her to his idiot 'friends'
This 👏👏👏
I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago. He admitted to me that he wasn’t attracted to me at the beginning but that I “won him over”. I was made aware that I wasn’t what he imagined for himself, and that pain has taken a toll on my self esteem more deeply than anything ever before in my life. It takes a while to rebuild and you’re never 100% again.
And you’re gorgeous!! Wow!
When she asked “but can he really love me even if I’m not attractive”?
My heart broke 💔💔💔
Girl, DO NOT TOLERATE someone saying you are not beautiful. Are you kidding me!! Start your exit plan. You are beautiful inside and out. Start saving some money, get a therapist and run!!! You’re husband SHOULD think you are beautiful… he is not worth it.
@@dmiller2055 Gosh I hope she read All these comments and RAN!!!
@Sincerely, Bria just sad 💔
So did his :(
Yes you can love a person and like a person that is not attractive, that is not the problem here ,the problem here is that one thing is knowing this as a fact and another is talking crap with you friends about it ,in this case is husband to woman and people is outrage, but most of the time we the women tend to do this kind of crap talk bad about out husband with our friends , either way is not okay to put down your partner. Any way most people don't end up with the fictional beatifull partner they think they will choose .He has issues, and she has even bigger issues, Just be presentable on the outside and beautiful on the inside . And for him he need to accept that he doesn't have the most fisically beautiful woman among his friends but she is so wonderful on the inside that you could not resist but to marry her and be attracted to that beauty .
His friends wouldn’t know he has an issue with her looks unless he told them that.
They know because he’s type or he’s exes do not look like her.
Well that's a given. The girl asked if he STILL had an issue with her looks.
Yes, the way she talked, it was "do you still have a problem" type of conversation.
Not necessarily true. They may have brought it up because they’re cruel and petty!
@@elainelight9286 only you give people power of talking down on your spouse or partners , he definitely initiated this as his issues and they were all acting like a therapy as it's his biggest problem . He disrespected first which allowed outsiders have an opinion about her , he is not protective of her , it's scary to be with a man like that when you don't even know if he respects or protects your honor , I don't pray that on my enemies either .
The worst is the lack of loyalty. He’s having conversations with friends (some of the women) more intimate than his relationship with his wife. He’s placed them above her.
This! She isn't the most important person in his life. Emma... leave his ass.
This is because he truly doesn’t love his wife, but she is useful to him in some way shape or form because he married her. His wife is more like a utility.
Absolutely. I would never go back to this man just for the disloyalty. Never, ever talk down to your spouse with and around other people.
1000%... A real lack of appropriate boundaries
@@rcmurphy5986just like every woman marries a man. For example When woman makes money they want to be independent
There is no coming back from that. Her only option is divorce.
Agree. He will if he isn't already cheat.
@@janefriel6895probably with the girl in the call, as it sounds like she’s up for it
"Can he really love me if I'm not attractive?" the real question needs to be "Can he really love me if he constantly talks disrespectfully about me to his friends?" and the answer is no.
But if you actually listen to her recounting of the conversation, basically he was defending her by pointing out the qualities of hers he liked. He only admitted that the ex was more attractive, not out of disrespect but because it was simply true.
KD but then again it was his „truth“, it so fking subjective.. I thought my ex was „the most handsome man alive“ well guess what? My friend says he looks like a horse and ugly af… so like for real it’s not even his opinion that the issue here you missed the whole point.. it’s the fact that HE was discussing her with other people behind her back and it’s disrespectful and if he really had feelings for her he would discuss her weight issue with her instead of behind her back also some people can’t lose weight for example one girl I knew had heart condition and can NOT exercise so what she is not worth of love? This is retarded to say the least
@didles123 ya but that's super messed up to say. I would be devastated if my husband said that his ex was prettier than me. You just don't say that to your partner even if you feel like it is true.
@@didles123And no he was not defending her he started that conversation with the friends
@@kimberlyjones8152but he was asked by his friends. So in case the ex was prettier than you should he just say "no Kimberly, is the prettiest?"
I’m getting married in 6 months, and all I know is that NOBODY is going to be allowed to bad mouth my future wife in front of me. That will be shut down immediately. Luckily, my friends and family are all people that would never do something like that. Her husband’s “friends” are not true friends.
Amen !!!
🙌❤
@@miriamespinoza3766 everything you said is perfectly fine. Honesty out of love and concern for your friends is admirable and right. I guess my original post has to do with “friends” that deliberately go out of their way to diminish your spouse in front of you. Just spouting hurtful things like “dude your wife is soooo ugly and fat, how can you be attracted to her!?” Those people will have no place in my life, if they ever show themselves
Then you are a true man, my friend! Congrats on your upcoming wedding! 🎉
@@tigress63 Point is HE married her.... YOU didn't!
She will never trust him again.
Or maybe no guy for that matter....
You are right, she didn't. She posted on reddit and there are updates
@@lunilunitaluna9070did she leave him?
How could she? When someone shows you their real selves believe them. She can't unsee that snake's real face, and she shouldn't. She can do so much better, so so so much better. His "friends" sound just as vile as him.
They deleted my answer? There is an update and I posted the link😮 now it is gone?
Thirty years ago i was newly married and overheard my husband describe me to his friend as "a fungus. She's so gross I won't even pick her off of me." I never recovered from that. I should have gone for counseling, but I shut down. I got small. I shut him out. We'd just begun, but we were over because clearly his reason for marrying me had nothing to do with who i was. And I was beautiful back then, inside and out.
ALWAYS have your spouse's back because you are ONE. Daggers aimed at your spouse will KILL your marriage if you aren't a shield.
Exactly!
This is exactly what I have been trying to explain to someone else on another set of comments and replies in this section.
Being alone would be far preferable to me than being in a relationship where I believe my partner feels I’m “less than.”
Besides, the assumption that no one else would possibly have me is erroneous. We are all someone’s version of spectacular.
Im sorry. Thats horrible to hear. I hope u found someone better
Oh PLEASE tell me you left that man. He's the fungus. BLECH
@@sopranosd I did, but it took me 10 years to get the courage.
If my partner didnt find me attractive and was talking about me behind my back with his friends, its not something i could forgive. What a betrayal.
And how dare he pretend and lead her into marriage.
@@icantwiththisright! That type of mentality is soo backwards to me. I would never forgive and just start looking for a divorce attorney to be honest.
If mine was doing that... I'd start to change. Looks you can't change.
Size, fat body. You can change.
I would start working out
@@user-ct3lg7mw9t whaaaaa????
How dare a man love a woman who he doesn't think is gorgeous. That guy loves her for personality. What a monster.
This is horrific! I would rather be alone, I wouldn’t be able to be intimate or anything with my significant other knowing this. The fact that his so-called “friends” would even feel comfortable saying that is beyond…
He should have shut down any conversation about his wife ... his so called friends disrespecting his wife is also disrespecting him ... Imagine when they are off the phone what they say about HIM 🙄
@@clarkclarke Good point! I agree!
@@clarkclarke Well clearly he welcomed the conversation at a previous time or they wouldn’t be bringing it up again. You’re right he lacks self respect, so I presume he doesn’t know how extend respect to his spouse…
@@calikeisha365 exactly
I agree! And I am alone and will continue to be alone until I meet someone compatible.
The fact that she said "maybe I'm a little chubby" broke my heart. HE is making her feel this way. Throw the whole man out. Get divorced now before you're stuck.
She might be huge, we don't know. Being fat is certainly not an attractive quality
@@logichaver5642 appearances change over time. We will gain and lose weight. Have children and gain stretch marks, or loose skin. Gain wrinkles and scars. Get grey hairs or lose our hair all together. Yes, sexual attraction is important, but you should be sexually attracted to your partner for more than their physicalities. My fiance and I have both gained weight in the time we've been together. It has not affected my attraction to him at all, and he always tells me that my weight won't be a problem for him until my health is at risk. If her husband is concerned about her weight, due to health or looks, he needs to tell HER and not be joking with his friends about it.
She is probably just self-aware and knows she's a little chubby (doesn't mean she's not beautiful).
I'm gorgeous and a little chubby- it happens. 😂💁🏻♀️.
She had no idea that he didn't find her attractive before she heard it so he isn't doing anything wrong by feeling that way. Those are his honest feelings- you can't fault people for how he feels. He should have given her the respect of telling her the truth though - in my opinion. So she can choose or do something about it. What's extremely DISRESPECTFUL is that he is taking to women about this and NOT her. Oh no- that is what is unacceptable.
Honestly, I don't feel bad for her one bit. This is what I would do if i were her. She said she may be a bit chubby. Make the decision today that I'm going to get fit. I'm going to make a permanent change in my life. I'm going to talk to my doctor to get on a nutrition plan. I'm going to get on a fitness plan and stick to it. I'm going to show myself and the world what I'm made of. Whatever it takes. I'm not going to feel pitty for myself and be a victim. I'm going to put in the work on myself. There is an amazing opportunity here. Turn a negitive into a positive. She does that and in 18 months she's going to look in the mirror and won't be able to believe what she's done for herself. I wonder how she will feel then?
He also has a problem with her skin tone too. Why didn't he go for what he wanted but instead settled for less as he feels he has. He doesn't value her, and he never will.
This Dr is so so so freaking compassionate to his callers like his hearts all in . What a special therapist and man.
My jaw was literally coming UNHINGED during this call. Get out, woman. You deserve way better.
She ought to do an annulment.
If she gets a divorce she's probably not gonna be able to remarry.
If she's not attractive and has self confidence issues then a better guy is not gonna happen for her.
This relationship will never be the same. That betrayal hurts deep and the scar will always be there. The worst part is he’ll always remind her of that scar.
An almost identical situation have happened to me with my ex boyfriend. We talked, i forgave him, a year had passed and i realised i couldn't just forget it. We broke up and that is the best thing that happened to us, trully.
I lost it when she said : can he love me if « I’m not attractive » as opposed to « if he does not find me attractive ». That means it’s already affecting the way she sees herself and I hate that
Homely girls need love too.
Yea, I caught that too. My heart hurts for her. Sounds like she had it in her head that she isn’t attractive. She sounds like she wants to stay with him. If he can talk about that stuff with his friends, imagine what else he tells them about her behind her back.
Yes I picked up on it and corrected her out loud! “Not attractive to HIM” is what she should have said. She deserves better than that.
@@soulRegal08 yes!!! The person she loves most potentially validated lifelong insecurities
But interestingly enough he already said he loved her.
We have a saying in our culture. Spouses are eachothers clothes. Meaning you cover, protect, and make your spouses looks good for each other and in front of other people. Like a good clothes you wear for your body.
What culture is this? Can you write the saying in your language? It’s perfect!
@@duvessa2003" هُنَّ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌۭ لَّهُنَّ ۗ"
Your spouses are a garment1 for you as you are for them (Garment” (libâs) is a metaphor for comfort, chastity, and protection)
It's from Quran surah 2 ayah 187.
@@ruuoxithat's wonderful
This is so heartbreaking and the idea that he mentioned her skin color is another level. Nope, nope, nope, nope.
You should listen to the women on some of these black dating channels. The number one guy they request is tall DARK and handsome. They sometimes say they will consider a lighter skin guy. I find it hard to believe that you have never heard your friends or other black women say something like that. Or does it only matter when it is about a woman?
@@vernonu7314 Then he should dip too.
I’m not sure why you’re making this about men. In THIS situation, the man has an issue with darker-skinned women. He could have some personal issues that he has not worked through or maybe his preference is just heavily influenced by societal beauty standards. And even if you do look at the stats, studies show that black men date out more than black women.
The bigger issue is that this jerk is holding her from someone who will genuinely be attracted to her skin tone, body type and personality. And what’s sad is that she has been so negatively impacted by what she heard that she most likely doesn’t feel that anyone else would want her. I pray she gets out and finds a man who will genuinely love her for who she is.
That’s most of our black men now thanks to men like Kevin Samuels and all the NBA NFL and black male celebrities who encourage other black men to chase white or bi racial women SMH
@@vernonu7314 hereeeee we go. When it is about our issues you have to make it a competition. "Oh i was sexually assaulted" Probably you: "oh but well MEN also get assaulted or does it only matter when it's women". Like you sound stupid. White men are STILL statistically the most DESIRABLE race. Yet you people arent't satisfied and everything bust be a competition to u...
If a man talks bad about you (right after they came back from the honeymoon!) to other women... he does not love or respect you. Get an annulment
👏🏼absolutely.
I got out within three weeks. He never asked me once what was wrong.
Exactly my thoughts
@PhwanRegSop what happened?
Poor, sweet girl. How horrible. 😔 Those words can never be undone.
Going into her future, she'll also always hear them in her head. He has permanently scarred her. This is so sad for so many reasons 😭😭
She deserves so much better
I wanna give her a big ass hug
@@missmew3499 So true..I have those scars and they go deep
@@ananimity7332 I'm so sorry that you have those scars. My scars are from my constant battle with my bulge and getting picked on for my weight. It's awful. I'll be 50 in June, and those scars/negative thoughts NEVER go away, no matter what shape we're currently in.
I had a husband who just didn't find me attractive. It's the worst! As much as I wouldn't wish divorce in my worst enemy... It's so much better than staying with someone who doesn't respect you.
Listening to this as a black woman, John handled this sooo well. He really understood the issue, he got it and his words were powerful. Colorism is a big issue in the black community. I loved John’s line telling Emma to tel her husband that “now I don’t feel safe in my own skin” WOW. Also when he said that now her husband has become just like society, talking bad about her skin and weight, when he was meant to be her safe place from all of that. Well done john!!
I feel the same way
He did really well! As a black woman the colourist is a real issue here in our community. You here these sly comments all the time from men and even woman them-self. It’s disheartening people in our own community have this sort of self hate.
Colurism**
Beautifully said!
I never heard of colorism before. I didn’t realize that was a thing. That’s awful
As a woman, I say this: Fellas please don’t cap. If she ain’t your type physically don’t waste her time and your time marrying her. She can be the most wonderful woman in the world. But if she isn’t your type physically DON’T DO IT. Would you want a woman to marry you simply for money but isn’t sexually attracted to you??
Thank you. My point exactly. Im dating a man like this now. He is a so called Christian too and claims physical attraction isn't everything and loves me for me. But is complaining up down that he hates my natural hair and that it being straightened with flat irons aint good enough....it must be permed and styled his way.
He claims Im too skinny and need to stop being vegan and eat meat so my boobs and butt can be bigger. He confused.....smh....but he claims looks dont matter. He delusional and lying to himself. Im ready for him to just bounce. Instead of waisting my time. I ain't got time for this toxic mess
@@thevegantitian Why are you waiting on him to bounce? You bounce. Do HIM a favor and help him avoid marrying a girl who isn't slim-thick with bone straight hair. You don't have time for that. Have a serious conversation about it and move on.
Please tell me you have left him? He is just a judgemental piece of crap. He is also racist.
😂😂😂women marry men for money everyday the world over.
@@elsagrace3893 But if that's the ONLY thing she's into that wouldn't make it right. Money does matter of course but rich celebrities divorce all the time. There's more to it than money and looks.
She will never forget this for the rest of her life. The fact that a person would allow “friends” to talk about their partner that way is telling. I would never let anyone speak to me about what my husband looks like, ever.
Yes! My ex was a tool but he would have punched the lights out on any of his friends if they had dared spoken about me like that to him.
Interesting
He just compromised to a lower standard you can’t understand that many men do that these days
@@josecarlosxyz that’s why so many get flabbergasted when a woman files for a divorce.
Exactly 😢
Man, I want to give her a hug! She sounds like such a lovely person.
I don’t think I could’ve overheard my husband speak about me like that & waited even 5 seconds before confronting him.
“hello, wife standing here right behind you!”
(I did that at a job once, & my boss made me apologize to the people that were talking about me behind my back 🤬)
Seriously? He made YOU apologize? Did you? How did that pan out?@@anitapricecheck9554
Same here. I would’ve busted that whole conversation wide open and they would ALL know I knew.
Completely agree
I'm with you guys! This jerk would hear everything in two seconds
Emma, a real man, protects his wife. Your imperfections are what make you special and perfect. Love isn't blind it's awakening!
Love love love that phrase. ❤️
This is beautiful, man. You’re right.
Sir 🥹
A man stated that a real man likes women any size not always the skinny ones. We women are led to believe we are not good enough. But Men don't care like we do.
Sorry.
Imperfections don't make you perfect.
I know exactly how this feels.
My boyfriend in highschool was telling a bunch of people that he didn’t find me attractive, and was only with me until he found someone better…
His best friend told me he was saying all this stuff behind my back, but I refused to believe that, it seemed so out of character. So he called my boyfriend one day and had me listen in on the conversation, and I heard it with my own ears.
My heart broke. It was the most painful experience ever, and so humiliating.
I still remember the way my heart dropped into my stomach when I heard him say he was only with me until he found someone better.
I can only imagine how this woman must feel to have her HUSBAND say that. Men who do this to their wives (and vice versa) are cowards and the ugliest people of all. Why be in a relationship with someone when you feel like you’re just “settling.”
Funny thing is, once I left him, he came running back, begging for a second chance. Even all these years later, he still tries to DM me. Make it make sense 🙃🙃
His best friend is a gee
This guy friend did you a favor...Yes, it was painful but you were LUCKY he thought HIGHLY of you and came to you so you can make an informed decision...If you never heard that phone call, how much more time of your life would be wasted ? ...I think most people would want to know if someone was speaking like this....UGH, that boyfriend was despicable......
@@RG-hf4et I'm still grateful he told me. He kept trying to tell me, but I was in denial until I heard it for myself from my boyfriend's own mouth. That's when I was finally able to let go and leave the situation, after 3 years of thinking I was in love with this boy and that he loved me back.
Tbh not only did it break my heart, it took me years after that to finally rebuild my self esteem and to relearn that I was worthy enough to be loved. It took years to learn to trust again, and honestly I still struggle with all these things.
That's why I think people who lie, manipulate, or cheat on their partners are so vile and cruel. They don't realize how much they can hurt the other person.
@@MAYBEE90 Exactly. I have hurts from a long time ago. I no longer trust men in a romantic sense..... We are FAR better off alone with our family, friends, job, interests, and pets than to be with a liar, a disrespectful partner or one who disrespects you to your face or behind your back. Keep busy & stay strong, my friend!!
Thats what happens when we dont see the merchandise before getting married.
I love listening to John’s show and put on his vids as something to listen to when doing other things. I’m listening but not always 100% locked in per say. Damn, this call had me locked in and hanging on every word. I was yelling out loud at the same time John was. Saying that her husband is not her safe place hit it on the head imo. When John said “the spirit of the person I’m talking to is stunning”, I cried. The emotion in his voice was just so present. That woman received more tenderness, respect, care and consideration through a 20 min phone call from a man she has never met than she EVER has from a man who swore vows to her and that broke me. Wishing this amazing, brave, beautiful woman healing and happiness. ❤
He did her a selfish disservice of marrying her. The thing is not every man wants the same thing. There are men who are GENUINELY attracted to darker skin and plumper/thick/ or outright fat women. She could have ended up with a man who ACTUALLY had stars on his eyes when he looked at her. He robbed her of that. Now she has to start over with someone new or stay and try to build around this hole he created in her security within this relationship.
Yes! Im seeing so many interracial and unlikely couples lately. Everyone is beautiful to someone
So many black men are on this bandwagon it’s so disgusting I’m light skin and petite and they just obsessed with this look it disgusts me because my mother is dark skin
@@dr.aliadixonnursepractitio6473 It grosses me out to. Glad to see I'm not the only one.
@@ranip7644 self hate with alot of these black men especially these toxic unhealthy NBA and NFL players and rappers,,I hate to say their "'preferences" can have them,,making everyone a "baby mama" and a joke in the lime light SMH
That's some big facts right there, it IS such a huge disservice. He obviously knows this woman has a beautiful character and personality... If the looks are seriously a problem for you to the degree you need to talk about that!! Wow just, he would be better off to leave her alone and let someone truely appreciate everything she is. I hope she got out of that, no woman needs to hear even one time this from her husband! So disgusting!!
Girl, you validate him more than you validate yourself. I really hope you can turn the tables. B.t.w. dark skin is beautiful!
nah don't be fake, black is ugly
Yeah that part is depressing to hear. Why would you marry someone if her skin colour was an issue for you
It doesn't matter if it's beautiful in itself or not. It matters that he's not attracted to that and it's a HUGE issue both because of the fact itself and MOSTLY because he kinda agreed that he went down from his ex and he talking about it with others. The shade is the skin is irrelevant in itself.
Are we assume they are a black couple and she is of a darker shade?
@@huskytailyes the issue here isn't that he doesn't find his wife to be very attractive, it's the fact he discusses this stuff with his friends... Especially since they are female friends and that imo makes it far worse. Never disrespect your wife like that to others.
When she said she’s sad there’s things she can’t change about her appearance… that broke me. I nearly cried. No one should ever feel like that
She should do it for herself not so that her husband will be happy with her.
I’ve spent most of my life feeling like that bc I have alopecia
@@MalloryNewcomb no that's kind of selfish, nothing cool about doing everything for yourself
@@NathanXYX. I didn’t say everything in life should be done for oneself. I agree there are times that would be selfish. But I don’t think this is one of them.
@@MalloryNewcomb it is...only feminists would think not caring about husbands needs in cool
I know his character. He wants to downgrade the image of his wife to these women because he wants to leave the door open for getting with them. He won’t be faithful.
They believe they are above her, and he must be at her level by default. He diminishes her, placing her below him, in an effort to set his level higher, thus remaining open for them.
hmmm interesting insight... thanks for sharing
That is kind of sexist too, men and women can be friends. Many of my friends are of the opposite sex.
It wasn’t a mistake for her to hear that, it was a BLESSING. Can you get an ANNULMENT sis? I’m sorry but it’s OVER. You deserve BETTER. GOODBYE. NO, just NO. He crossed a serious BOUNDARY and completely DISRESPECTED his new wife.
She would be doing him a favor lol
I 💯 percent agree!!! It so speaks to his heart toward her. It is over.
Facts! Annulment immediately!!
I agree with the annulment route. He still has lots of conversations with female friends who are trying to pry. I would tell him. It's possible he was influenced by those friends. I would see what happens after she tells him.
Amen!! Spot on. Exactly
As someone who is also newly married I cannot imagine how much this pain has caused her. I cannot imagine overhearing this especially with my husband telling another female.
heck he was having a group chat about it! so awful.
I would have interrupted the chat with "well it's good to know the great things you say about me amongst your friends" and just walk off. they would all be crapping their pants lol. I wouldn't have her sense of control to just keep it to myself 🤣
For me…I think I would have packed my bags and left. If not forever, at least for as long as it took for him to come and tell me what he was really thinking and why he would have that conversation with people outside the two of you.
@@gratefulheart5454 hahahahahahaah
Right, like you're talking to other people about YOUR WIFE! You're ride or die like that and just letting them talk about me. No,no,no...
The high of being a newlywed coming back from your honey moon to the low of overhearing this
For real this sucks so much
This is how evil character arch stories revenge stories begin 😢
💔💔💔
This
Emma, I was in ur place 13 years ago. I pretended to forget and move on. Finally after 13 years he brutally left me. Just leave him. U worth more than he thinks. U need to feel beautiful.
My life partner of 10 years told me in so many words that he didn't find me that attractive. This was after we had been together for many years. It broke my heart. I did what this lady is doing and kept it inside. He then shortly afterwards died in a car accident and there was no way of getting closure. Many people throughout my life have let me know that I don't measure up physically. Even family members have made comments. People are cruel. It has had a devastating impact on my self-esteem. I understand this lady and feel for her.
So sorry this happened to you 😢 ❤
Im so sorry
Closure or no, you’re free of him. My husband was done with me, but would do nothing to fix it together. At his death I felt like all chances of fixing it were gone. But no. I’ve grown since then and exult in my happiness. You can too.
we're not all supermodels, but that doesn't measure our worth.
You look gorgeous in your profile picture if that’s you ❤️ There’s billions of men out there, plenty that will see your beauty & incomparable uniqueness ❤️
Man.. I feel so bad for this lady. She sounds so nice and sweet. If I was married I would never want to make my lady feel like this.
Right??
Nice and sweet that's cute but the issue is still there.
@@glidkomerhe shouldn’t have married someone he wasn’t attracted to
@@noushs8004but what do you do when it’s AFTER marriage has already happened
@@dahj5954she clearly just said they are newlyweds tho stay on topic...
She’s better than me. I’d be calling to find out how to get back in the dating game after making the wrong choice.
🤣😂
I would have walked out of their with my stuff before he even finished the call and served him divorce papers the next day.
Agree I could not stay with him after this.
@@kanikagaral7637 Hell yes!
He would probably be happy with that though. The worst L would be yo make him stay witchyo uglass😂😂😂😂
What a disgusting husband!!!!! And the guts to tell his female girlfriends about “downgrading” with his wife. What an asshole! How humiliating! 😢
She said she’s wishing she didn’t turn back…I’d be wishing I didn’t marry that dude😅
Exactly .. like she would have rather went about her marriage completely oblivious to how her husband feels. He seems like a total jerk who doesn’t deserve her.
Exactly
Use this as a beautiful blessing.
It's what you do now that matters the most. Love yourself mama!
The caller should be careful with her husband, and move out. He may be using her for something else (money, housing, immigration, housework, babies, or he needed to get married to make his family happy).
If she cannot get a divorce/annulment, she can still move out and seperate her finances from him.
Great comment. You must be careful.
EXACTLY . I was wondering why would he marry her if he thought so low of her ? Other than for some type of personal gain 😫
Wrong. Legally you Never leave your house! He needs to leave.
I was thinking he may have married someone timid because he's insecure & it makes him feel more powerful & more attractive. Sad.
Good points.
While you're young enough... MOVE ON FROM HIM. HE HAS BAD CHOICE OF WORDS.
BAD FRIENDS.
NO LOYALITY.
seems like he didnt say much
He is a liar and a fraud. It's unacceptable.
This is marriage
It’s a problem that can be solved
Running isn’t always the answer
@@bernicehatsu3022 no it is a bag of lies from this man. It's a simple annulment on the basis of fraud. She is better off alone than with a conman
Before they have kids. A short marriage is much easier to leave and rebuild from.
This poor girl. She sounds so timid and shy, I feel like her calling in was a sheer act of bravery. I would love to know what happened to this situation. The reality is, if he "settled" he needs to sit with that and not gossip about his wife to other people. That's disrespectful as hell. Or, he could be a man and not marry a woman he's not attracted to. "She makes me happy" meaning he can use her for other things and fulfill his needs that way, it's not about her happiness, her well being, or any of that. You can't help who you're attracted to, so the best thing you can do is leave those people for who's attracted to them and be on your way and vice versa. She deserves a man who will love her for her.