interview twitcher: valheim ashlands

Bacon: it's been a while since you were alive. what do you remember most about it?
Twitcher: there is so much upon which to reflect. my wife and children, my trade, travels, great blizzards and beautiful summers. but, most of all, probably oiling my once-prodigious beard.
Bacon: your beard?
Twitcher: yes, my beard was acclaimed throughout all the land as the best! naturally, it was burnt off by dragon fire.
Bacon: and what of your wife and children?
Twitcher: oh! they too recognized how amazing my beard was.
Bacon: no, i mean, did you die protecting them? where are they now? were they also consumed by the Emerald Flame?
Twitcher: how should i know? i was busy oiling and admiring my beard.
Bacon: wait, you mean they died before you?
Twitcher: almost certainly! my huge, oily beard was Very Weak to fire, so, i had to separate myself from large groups to avoid the carnage. additionally, i had an intercontinental beard competition to win, and had to travel to the Mountains.
Bacon: you left your homeland and family during a cataclysm to compete in a "best beard" competition?
Twitcher: it was no competition, really. Bjorn's beard was shabby compared to my own. he withered upon sight of mine, and, per the terms of the competition, was required to leave written record of my victory.
Bacon: then, you are Otho, whose "beard is as bright and beautiful as a cornfield in the summer?"
Twitcher: the very same. i am working on a long term plan to regrow my beard. why should the valkyrie keep its feathers but i cannot keep my beard? our valor, and resulting fates in perpetual unlife, should be the same.
Bacon: ...
Twitcher: you can just barely see some vestigial hairs if you get close enough.
Bacon: i have to go now.
Twitcher: yes, right there, just get close enough to my head, right on top of it...

[@sittingforgetting9907]

i will never forget you, Otho

[@EruRoraitoX]

I understand his frustration about the nerf :/
felt it in my heart when he said ''F*ck that* 😢😢😢