Look Out For These Behaviors In Your Addict Significant Other

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024
  • Addicts often rationalize and minimize their behavior, making you feel like the problem isn't as severe as it is and making it difficult to see when it is time to step up and help. Watch out for these telltale signs to stay five steps ahead of addiction, even when your addict significant other is still in the midst of denial or confusion, as you can be their first line of defense in winning against the grasp of addiction or alcoholism.
    The OFFICIAL Criteria for Alcohol Use Disorder:
    www.familyreco...
    Clinical Criteria for Addiction:
    • Signs of Alcohol Addic...
    Psychology of Addiction:
    • Start Here 👉🏻The Psych...
    ⚠️These are educational videos, NOT therapy or advice specific to your situation.
    ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
    🌐Visit Our Website:
    www.familyreco...
    🆓FREE Downloadable Resources:
    www.familyreco...
    😃If you like our TH-cam content, you'll love our 📢 Advanced Skills Membership! 👇🏻
    www.familyreco...
    🙋🏻‍♀️FB group for family members:
    / familyrecoverysupport
    📆Make An Appointment With One Of Our Specialists:
    www.familyreco...
    Get 10% off Virtual Counseling with our sponsor BetterHelp 👇🏻
    betterhelp.com...
    💯Incredibly accurate personality tests that light up your life-at home, at work, and in relationships 👉🏻 www.truity.com...
    Learn More About The Invisible Intervention:
    www.familyreco...
    📚Amazon Book Recommendations:
    www.amazon.com...
    ___________________________________________________________________________________
    SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL:
    If you find our videos helpful, there are several WAYS YOU CAN HELP us reach more people:
    1. 👍🏻💬Liking, commenting, and SHARING our videos is a FREE and easy way to help us spread our message of recovery.
    2. Consider leaving us a review on Google. 🆓 (This helps us tremendously!): g.page/r/CT0Yd...
    3. MAKE A DONATION through PayPal: www.paypal.com...
    💟THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT 🙏🏻
    #addiction #recovery #mentalhealth #addictionrecovery #soberlife #quittingalcohol
    quitting alcohol
    __________________________________________________________________________________

ความคิดเห็น • 42

  • @Mariana05167
    @Mariana05167 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    Its so sad when they dont realize they have a problem and lose everything and still dont realize the drg is the problem

    • @Taffi0623
      @Taffi0623 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Tragic. Denial is the devil. :(

  • @Mariana05167
    @Mariana05167 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Yes to all of these. I felt sooo confused all the time. He made it seem like it was my fault and even after separating he still blames me.

    • @deeeff8621
      @deeeff8621 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Must be because I'm single/don't have personal relationships; but every time she drops a video, despite drinking 2 gallons of rum a week, I don't have any of the issues she talks about in any of her videos. Idk if i'm just the exception but drinking hasn't interfered with any of my life, I don't hide/lie about drinking. I am a top performer at work. I handle any and all obligations prior to drinking. I don't drink until everything on my checklist is done for the day

    • @lionwaxman2782
      @lionwaxman2782 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Yep my ex was exactly the same.. somehow im the fucked up one for "belittling" "dishonoring" and "criticizing" while she just gaslit the fuck out me when i expressed my concern over her excessive and reckless use of cocaine around kids.

    • @josephbergen1575
      @josephbergen1575 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@deeeff8621At minimum your body is absolutely suffering physically from being an alcoholic. Internal organ failure, missing teeth, red skin wtc. Also, I would ask myself is me being a drunk the reason I am single and have no personal relationships. Because that is not normal for a sober person.

    • @deeeff8621
      @deeeff8621 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@josephbergen1575 I'm not trying to live to be 100 anyway, so that, at least to me is a non issue. As for your second question, I didn't start drinking till 2017, 2018-ish (I'm 36 so somewhere between 28-30) I was already in that position for at least a decade before I ever touched a bottle.
      Like how everyone was having a crisis when the world shut down during the pandemic and all the news stories about how being alone is affecting these people and not being able to socialize? I'm like huh what's the big deal, I do that every day.
      Hell, my last date was in 2009, lol; so yeah that part of it was already there before alcohol ever came into play. As far as family goes, I got falsely arrested for something my uncle did, he wouldn't come forward because he didn't want to lose his job and everyone in the family took his side because he had a good paying job and I was working fast food. That had to be 2013-2014; went no contact with all of them. Haven't talked to a single person I've been related to since.

    • @Quartzone6145
      @Quartzone6145 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I have this right now

  • @KJxxoo
    @KJxxoo หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    My partner is the fight picker when he’s intoxicated. He made a promise to cut back his drinking and stop picking fights, which he did for a couple of weeks. When I praised him on his efforts it’s like a switch flicked in his brain, and the very next day he was back to binge drinking and picking fights. I laid out very clearly what was going to happen if he didn’t get help, then he had the audacity to ask me to make an appointment for him. Like no, you didn’t book my appointment with a counsellor when you told me I was the problem and I needed help. No, I did that, not because I think I’m the problem, but because I am working through the guilt I feel over leaving.

  • @jackburton9550
    @jackburton9550 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I call them "the alcohol zoomies". My wife is an alcoholic and when she is either thinking of drinking / currently drinking... She starts moving all around the house pretending she is doing chores. Most of the chores are started but not completed, some make little sense, others are in the back bedroom that we are never in.

    • @doublequin
      @doublequin หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I hate to say this, but north of 50 (if she is) start thinking of testing for mental acuities. This is a significant marker for dementia and Alzheimer's

    • @BloomingRose60
      @BloomingRose60 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Lol! Yes, indeed...

  • @johnmorganjr769
    @johnmorganjr769 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    It is the most 'separating / heart breaking thing you can be around. Its bad. 🙏

  • @sharonscott1776
    @sharonscott1776 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    He definitely would bring up the past a lot, saying I or others put him in jail or told parole on him, when he put himself in jail, blaming everyone else, he’s 56 and still brings up his childhood, he would go missing for days, never answers his phone, still deny he used meth when I had two drugs tests in front of me. He said he thought all day she’s going to test me when I get home, he mixed juice with his urine and it still was positive. They try to make u think we are the crazy ones.

  • @tatianajimenez6742
    @tatianajimenez6742 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Omg you just read my life about how my alcoholic partner acts 😳😱 this helps me feel sane

  • @lionwaxman2782
    @lionwaxman2782 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    All of the above.. and the worst is she is in complete and utter denial of it all.. and she claims im just being overreactive and judgemental and she doesnt accept my judgement.

  • @kimmied546
    @kimmied546 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is all true!!! I desperately want my sibling to get back on their feet and move out. I can’t do this anymore 😢I’ve done all that I know to help but working against the lies, denial, projecting, drunken stupor… it’s like a routine 😢

  • @sherrellmiles1333
    @sherrellmiles1333 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    ❤❤❤ thank you Amber. I had to watch this three or four times I’m trying so desperately to help my husband and myself.

    • @PutTheShovelDown
      @PutTheShovelDown  หลายเดือนก่อน

      You are so welcome! I'm so glad these videos are helpful

  • @pokerqAK47
    @pokerqAK47 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    But if you don’t control the drinking (and you shouldn’t) why would they hide it? Mine doesn’t hide. And he knows it’s pointless. I can pinpoint how much he had to drink if he just says one word to me. So I don’t even need to ask.

  • @JuanPedroPaloma
    @JuanPedroPaloma หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    hello Amber. I'm a french canadian. I came across your video a few weeks ago. Thank you, it is really helping me, you convinced me to seek some help in my area. My wife is an alcoholic. It started gradually some 14 years ago and it's getting worst and worst. She typically drink 1 or 2 bottles of wine every day, rain or shine... We check so many boxes in your description of the behavior of the alcoholic and their loved one. I have to admit that it's getting harder to call her my love one... As I get closer to my retirement, I just can't believe that I will have to suffer her behavior for the rest of my life, all day, every day. I'm familiar with 'gaslighting' and all kind of arguments that comes from nowhere and leads nowhere or memory loss or when she repeat the same thing over and over or verbal aggressivity. It have never been physical aggressiveness but I can only imagine what it can be for a women having an alcoholic husband. thank you again

  • @wm9346
    @wm9346 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Did you follow my alcoholic ex around? Every behavior you said, they did.

  • @paulalane8638
    @paulalane8638 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Check, check, check.......it's not a healthy way to live, and not fun living with the anger, cursing and tantrums!

  • @MoMo-jl9mg
    @MoMo-jl9mg หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Yup nailed it

  • @adeleb3098
    @adeleb3098 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Specialist explained about his liver and that he is basically committing a slow suicide. He is not drinking as much whisky in the coffee any more, but he is now drinking a LOT more coffee during the day and he also uses brandy.

  • @azadeh5233
    @azadeh5233 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thanks Amber ! You nailed it

  • @sweetee109
    @sweetee109 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Here's one, stops talking to me for days at a time for no reason.

    • @Lacking_something
      @Lacking_something 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      We're they MIA or with you and not communicating?

  • @davidcasson5602
    @davidcasson5602 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Alcoholic (loved one’s ) behaviour,supplementary . I stood in the garden a the end of the back lawn ,, it was 20.00,, blank and dark , I was partly lit by the street light , the grass was damp with dew ,,I had a full , unopened wine bottle in each hand and in my rage ,on finding them , I was about to take part in the garden Olympic Games ,, going for the gold medal 🥇,,in wine bottle throwing,, no one was going to throw these further than me I could feel the power in my arm ,,standing in the darkness,,the moment passed and the bottles slid from my hands and landed on the soft grass ,,next doors green house,, safe ,,breaking glass avoided. The World I lived in was ending,, it was very frustrating. ,,, understatement.

  • @jessescott4249
    @jessescott4249 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I wish u could save my fiancé of 18 years just about to get married and was trying to have a baby but alcohol changed her to person who would lie about everything. Then came the cheating with the woman she was drinking with. Then she took a loan in my name and took all the money from me and then took off with money. She gone now hiding from me not working. And all I got was a text breakup when she was locked up mental health.

    • @wm9346
      @wm9346 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Women with addictions get locked up in mental health facilities because they have a problem.
      Me with addictions get locked up in jail because they are the problem.
      Seems fair, right?

  • @giuliagiacintucci5890
    @giuliagiacintucci5890 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I wish there would be more information about life after coming back from rehab
    I am not an addict and I can’t understand why those people come back home and push away their loved ones, my ex boyfriend completely cut me off without any explanation I tried to reach out and I am completely all over the place… what did it happen to him after he came back home?

  • @hi2bonnie
    @hi2bonnie หลายเดือนก่อน

    I see one or two of these in my loved one, but none of the really serious-sounding ones, so I still don’t know whether they’re a really high-functioning alcoholic or just a fairly heavy drinker (20-ish units per week) who doesn’t see any problem with their drinking . 🤷

    • @LilT2o00
      @LilT2o00 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm a heavy drinker myself, at least from a personal standpoint I don't see any issues with it. Only way that alcohol has affected my life really is that I probably shaved a few years off of it. I'll usually gain about 30lbs a year on 7 day a week drinking; cold turkey for 6 weeks, and drop the 20- lbs (7 day a week cardio, cold turkey on anything that tastes good, keep the calories at about 1,300-1,500 easy to drop 3-4 lbs a week), rinse, repeat. I never let myself get to over 18% body fat and I don't get cravings or withdrawal etc when I cold turkey. Haven't had any social or work issues; so I don't really see any reason to switch it up.

    • @KJxxoo
      @KJxxoo หลายเดือนก่อน

      I was told by a drug and alcohol counsellor that anything over 2-3 standard drinks a day is considered heavy. She almost fell off her chair when I told her my partner had drunk 52 drinks over a week period. That was a particularly big week. He normally sits around 30-35 drinks a week. But at the end of the day, it’s his behaviour when he’s intoxicated that’s the real problem. He becomes verbally abusive, and even withheld the car keys one night so I couldn’t take our kids and I to a safe space.

  • @Quartzone6145
    @Quartzone6145 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The porn goes with the coccaine and alcohol but its me who has a problem!apparently its only porn and im sat here right now with him doing it

  • @michelleradford5956
    @michelleradford5956 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾