Staying Together: How We Navigate Marital Issues and Prevent Divorce

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ค. 2024
  • This episode is brought to you by Magic Spoon: Head to www.magicspoon.com/NOTALONE to grab a custom bundle of cereal and try the magic for yourself, and don’t forget to add their tasty Treats to your order! Be sure to use our promo code NOTALONE at checkout to save five dollars off.
    Gary is back by popular demand! In today’s episode, Gary and Valeria discuss the complexities of marriage, drawing from their own 12-year experience. First, Gary and Valeria touch on the passing of his mother, then dig deeper into how their 18-year age gap impacts their views on marriage and divorce.
    The duo explores why marriages often fail, the long-term and ongoing emotional neglect, changing personal needs, and societal pressures. Valeria highlights the dual burden women face as caregivers and professionals, while Gary emphasizes the importance of effort and communication to resolve issues before considering divorce.
    From bickering about cavemen to dissecting foreplay, this episode definitely gets spicy 🌶️
    Gary is on:
    / garylipovetsky
    / @gary.lipovetsky
    / garylipovetsky
    / garylipovetsky
    Shop my look from this episode: liketk.it/4Hhce
    What We Talked About:
    00:00 Intro
    00:54 Let’s talk about divorce
    02:04 Dealing with loss and grief
    06:16 Responsibilities of a son and a husband
    07:42 How should children repay their parents?
    10:10 Our grief process
    14:45 What’s your experience with divorce?
    17:01 How do you prevent infidelity?
    19:34 Single mothers in a marriage
    21:42 Men and women are wired differently
    24:38 The traditional model of procreation
    27:43 When couples aren’t a good match
    28:30 Divorce is never an easy way out
    31:35 How soon can talks of divorce happen?
    34:37 Don’t be scared of having difficult conversations
    37:57 How do you prevent divorce?
    42:12 Discovering the things that turn you on
    47:20 Men are responsible for an amazing s*x life
    51:53 Have you read Kama Sutra?
    52:25 How do you define sensuality?
    56:11 Secrecy of marriage and in friendships
    01:01:35 Financial stress
    01:05:34 Dealing with your partner’s long-term trauma
    01:06:32 The phase of falling in love again
    01:08:22 Would you go through a divorce?
    #notalone #valerialipovetsky #podcast
    ❤️ Subscribe for more videos using this link th-cam.com/users/ValeriaLipove...
    Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you.

ความคิดเห็น • 307

  • @ValeriaLipovetsky
    @ValeriaLipovetsky  หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Do you agree with me or with Gary? Let me know in the comments 👀
    If you enjoyed this episode, please like this video and subscribe to my channel for more Not Alone! Your support means the world to me 🫶 Thank you!

    • @KarinaRekowski
      @KarinaRekowski 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      You, totally.

    • @akilbourne
      @akilbourne 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Gary 100%

    • @mashtires1848
      @mashtires1848 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Gary is generally speaking real truth and I agree with most of what he says. There’s always exceptions to the rules and each marriage is it’s own case such as mental illness which is really hard to live with if the spouse who’s mentally ill doesn’t wana help themselves and is only destroying the whole household/family.

    • @akilbourne
      @akilbourne 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@mashtires1848 This is perfectly said. 💯👌🏼 1000% agree.

    • @emiliaserbaneci
      @emiliaserbaneci 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I agree with both of you and I can relate to each one of you. I think that's great!

  • @saramhere
    @saramhere 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +63

    I’m only about halfway through but to make a blanket statement about kids being better off without divorce is sorely lacking the mention of abuse which is so much more common than people think. It is not healthy for kids to grow up witnessing abuse and I wish that this had come up in this conversation

    • @katytallon1
      @katytallon1 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Or even just unhappiness!

  • @manetconolly3390
    @manetconolly3390 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +66

    As a child of divorce, I never believed in marriage, but seeing both my parents fall in love again with new people and get married in the middle of their lives… nothing can beat that. Nothing beats seeing my parents find happiness and love, even if not with each other. They are better people for it. I understand everyone has different experiences and beliefs around this, but I think divorce was the best thing they did for each other and their children. I love my step-parents and feel blessed to have watched love thrive in their lives

    • @vaportrails7943
      @vaportrails7943 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I don’t believe you for one second. No one in that situation has ever said this. Ever.

  • @susanmckenna4506
    @susanmckenna4506 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +28

    She’s so much more aware/evolved and his way of dealing with it is being defensive and condescending

  • @Pinglester
    @Pinglester 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +91

    Valeria, the patience, grace and love you show is so admirable. You beautiful soul!

  • @vk_reads
    @vk_reads 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +79

    Woooow... The amount of triggering comments by Gary in this conversation... 🤯 Especially in the last part about the "workshop with the feather" you can see how stuck he is in his beliefs and isn't even listening to Valeria, just like she mentioned, he was starting to contradicting himself instead of making an effort to try and better understand women and their sensuality..... Applause to Valeria for her patience 👏👏👏👏 Hope you'll teach Gary many more new things!

  • @Newtonwilson-yw4kg
    @Newtonwilson-yw4kg 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +243

    I've realized that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost getting divorced because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to sort things out. It was a difficult time, but we got through it.

    • @oglaskubuot
      @oglaskubuot 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I really want to be happy too. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart now, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is big. I really miss her, and I'm determined to bring her back. We've tried different ways, like therapy, to fix things.

    • @Newtonwilson-yw4kg
      @Newtonwilson-yw4kg 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Releasing the grip on someone dear is always tough, but in my scenario, I was fortunate to have the counsel of a spiritual guide who preserved my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

    • @oglaskubuot
      @oglaskubuot 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Your guidance is valued. I'll immediately seek her out online. Appreciate it. I'm hopeful that implementing this method will also bring me success; I miss her dearly.

    • @Newtonwilson-yw4kg
      @Newtonwilson-yw4kg 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I promise you will not regret it.

  • @LeaDeven
    @LeaDeven 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +56

    My humor. Gary outlines in length one should never divorce, try EVERYTHING to safe the marriage. But isn't even willing to have 30 minutes foreplay?! Don't start when it is too late. Even if she asked for tickling with a feather (which she didn't)- she didn't ask for doing a long in depth psychotherapy, although the latter would be very helpful for you, and for her. "You are a nice person", says the 10 year old boy to the much more mature older aunt😮. I guess it becomes obvious why 38 year old Gary was single back than and not taken by any 38 old woman. I am 26 and find him like boys I dated at 16🙈. I cannot imagine how I'd perceive him in another 10 years if he doesn't move a single step forward. No wonder he doesn't like Valeria exchange with friends about him. Another red flag for men who want the full control.

    • @poptartcat21
      @poptartcat21 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      This is spot on. He’s suffocating and one dimensional. Not to mention his business failed and she’s the primary breadwinner. Hopefully she got a pre nup

    • @poptartcat21
      @poptartcat21 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

      He also gives off closet vibes

  • @sherrymuscleyog
    @sherrymuscleyog 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +72

    I feel sorry for Valeria for tolerating this man, he is such a stereotypical grandfather

  • @dahanyan
    @dahanyan 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    Valeria’s patience is truly outstanding 😞

  • @Krustudio
    @Krustudio หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    Valeria you hit the nail on the head. People have too many options and people have become more selfish. They see others on social media having a “perfect” life and people share everything on socials and others start comparing themselves. We are operating based on a transactional basis. It’s no longer let’s get married young and work towards building a life together that we can be proud of it’s what can you do for me and if you don’t do it I’ll find someone else. My grandparents didn’t have a perfect relationship far from it but they stuck it out because they had a bigger picture in mind. We are living in “thank you, next” generation. By the way marriage is never equal and trying to make it so just wastes time, energy and creates bitterness.

  • @KarinaRekowski
    @KarinaRekowski 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +47

    Gary is guided by his childhood experience and agency of trauma in this matter. And basically, he is afraid that little Gary, the inner child, will once again find himself in a situation of his parents' divorce, where he has to take care of his mom and carry an exorbitant burden. Because it hasn't been worked through (as we see in the situation where Valerie offers her support on the journey of loss, and Harry says what loss? it's okay). That's why he is so adamantly against divorce, doesn't have the power to be flexible in his thinking here and can't accept that there are different reasons to get divorced, like you got married very young, or just your views have changed even just because of mental maturation. In general two adults do not die if they end their union. I think that's important to understand. And to question and criticize the idea of why a breakup is seen as so fatal and destructive. Again, it is fatal to the child. It's not for an adult. Going back to the beginning of my post, that's why it seems fatal to harry, because he sees the marriage from the point of view of his little self.

    • @akilbourne
      @akilbourne 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You sound ridicules.

    • @balahatun
      @balahatun 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

      Makes perfect sense

  • @HappinessPlannerTV
    @HappinessPlannerTV หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    It’s so lovely to hear that Valeria is falling in love with Gary again and Gary seems absolutely ecstatic to hear that. 🎉🎉🎉 You both are adorable. I admire how you both have such understanding and acceptance towards each other and let each other grow, evolve, and be themselves. ❤

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      You’re so sweet ❤️ thank you!

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      You’re so sweet ❤ thank you!

  • @mramey2704
    @mramey2704 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

    The way Valeria speaks and explains her points is amazing!!! So respectful but strong...love it!

  • @OlgaSunny-pl2sg
    @OlgaSunny-pl2sg 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +21

    From outside looking in again I am not in this family 24/7 but being an observant person and have been right many times. I think it’s accurate to say Valeria’s emotional needs are not being met to the extent she would like them too. Financially and other aspects are being met but it locks emotional aspect. Not going to provide examples as we are on public forum but they know it best themselves alone. Never late to work on what your partner needs emotionally. You can be a great intellect, wise , smart etc.. but never neglect what your partner’s emotional needs are because neglect one or more times leads to divorce.

    • @sarahmarkowitz89
      @sarahmarkowitz89 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      1000000 percent. Poor woman

    • @OlgaSunny-pl2sg
      @OlgaSunny-pl2sg 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@sarahmarkowitz89 when someone is emotionally empty they are poor inside indeed.

    • @mc-ob7vp
      @mc-ob7vp 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      yeah, especially with women. its the leading cause for divorce for women. men not so much if not at all

  • @Krustudio
    @Krustudio หลายเดือนก่อน +48

    Gary, sorry to hear about your mom. ❤

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      🙏🏻❤️

    • @ardintseva
      @ardintseva 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@ValeriaLipovetsky i'm start crying with you 😢😓💔

  • @CarolCurotto
    @CarolCurotto 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    My husband of 24 years passed away unexpectedly just a few weeks ago while he was on a month long work trip several states away. We raised four beautiful children into adulthood together. Life is fragile . Sending my love to both of you and healing energy with the recent losses you’ve suffered.

  • @kristin.sleepyHamster
    @kristin.sleepyHamster หลายเดือนก่อน +241

    I think Gary has interesting controversial opinions but he always says his opinions in a way that they sound like facts. And these ,,facts" are said like he is talking you down instead of with u. I never feel like he is trying to understand your point. More like u have to give in.
    He has the intention of a teacher but says things like a preacher.

    • @EmaTheiss
      @EmaTheiss 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

      It’s a delicate dance to be wise, hardworking, and emotionally regulated without coming of as righteous. I personally appreciate straightforwardness and not beating things around the bush much more than someone that doesn’t stand for anything. I see your perspective but different dynamics aren’t necessary wrong. Additionally, my thoughts are that Valeria’s introspection and her skill of bringing depths and nuance to the conversation is an addition to them both as a whole. On the same token, his devotion to the family unit leaves room for emotional exploration even if it doesn’t appear like it..

    • @Soltopmtz
      @Soltopmtz 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      Yes, it feels like there's no room for others perspectives or ways of living. I wouldn't say this to someone who experiences abuse in any way, it's just not the best for their mental health and the conception of love and self-love for the kids.

    • @saraaaaah8542
      @saraaaaah8542 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Completly agree!

    • @luim3347
      @luim3347 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      Daddy daughter

    • @dariakim
      @dariakim 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      I feel the same way most of the times when I watch them. And then I remind myself that them two know best how the dynamic goes.
      The problem I see in the comments is with extremists. Calling Gary abusive, and I fell in that trap too.
      I think he has these Alpha male tendencies, I see them in my current partner and I remeber my ex used to do them as well, trying to be a tad controlling or thinking he can do some things better because he's a man. I always put him back in his place and remind him I am perfectly fine on my own and he should keep that crap to himself.
      He usually mumbels something in disagreement but there's nothing he can do.
      So I think the problem is not with these outburst, but if he's willing to correct them when their partner signals to them they're not ok.
      Gary seems willing to work through stuff, he will be putting on some resistance, I think it's normal and human, but if he corrects his behaviour for Valeria that's what matters

  • @larrywatson3479
    @larrywatson3479 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    Hello Valeria! My condolences to you and Gary on the loss of his Mother. You guys have great communication, love and respect for each other. You both are so fortunate to have each other! Love you so much Valeria! Love, Janice and Larry Watson. Pittsburgh PA. USA

  • @Soltopmtz
    @Soltopmtz 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +30

    I enjoyed hearing different perspectives on this podcast. However, as the daughter of two parents who are still together because of marriage but are not a couple, I can say that this is MUCH more harmful than beneficial. You cannot fake or force love. I believe that the core of marriage is being a couple, being a team, and working for the good of both partners + family. However, when this is lost-whether due to abuse, infidelity, or simply because one of them no longer wants to continue and it's not putting the effort -I think they should no longer remain married. On the contrary, I believe this greatly affects children's perspectives on love and what marriage should be. Growing up with parents who don't love each other or disrespect each other but stay together because they think *they should* and that's how's supposed to be, has been much more damaging than if they were separated but maintained respect. At the end of the day, they can be separated parents but still look out for their children's well-being.

    • @TheKatalin93
      @TheKatalin93 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@Cocoisagordonsetter
      I agree with you!

    • @AnastasiaHamurari
      @AnastasiaHamurari 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Couldn’t agree more. How many times did I wish my parents got divorced but they never did. That really affected my view of relationships and led to me having to figure out by myself what a healthy marriage and relationship looks like as it was never modeled to me

    • @ana-maria8011
      @ana-maria8011 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I agree with you! But in my opinion, Gary kinda wanted to say something else! So many couples these days get bored really fast and want to end the relationship. Like he said, repeating the same thing on the next relationship, but staying because they dont want another divorce. I understand his ideas. Couples who really respect and apreciate is so rare these days

  • @saramhere
    @saramhere 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

    Saying divorce is always wrong also implies that we as humans never have a lapse in judgement. People marry people that they shouldn’t have married and we used to live in a world where they were pretty much forced to live in that mistake. You two got married after months of knowing each other which basically means you got lucky because as you said, people that have known each other for years before they get married find things out about the person too late. I say this as someone who is happily married for ten years and I honestly believe that we just got lucky when I look at relationships around me.

  • @CarolCurotto
    @CarolCurotto 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Men absolutely talk with eachother regarding their marriage relationships and difficulties. They find good advice in the trusted friends.

  • @Talofa684
    @Talofa684 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    My siblings and I will be caring for our parents when the time comes. Not because we have to but because we want to. We come from a Polynesian background and I feel like it’s normal for elders to live with families until the end. And in the end they are buried in the land where family lives. It’s a way of life for us, never a burden but a honor to have the ability to do so. ❤

  • @emarcostar
    @emarcostar 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    He likes the "secrecy of marriage" because he doesn't want other people to know about the bad things he does to her wife. He wants the wife to keep silent and not tell anyone so he can keep doing it without anyone telling the wife that it's wrong and he shouldn't accept it

  • @KK-is4xc
    @KK-is4xc 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    I agree with the comments below that Gary generalized that married couples mostly divorce because of infidelity or loosing a spark, but in my household my father was constantly hitting my mom, and she would stay with him because her parents and friends say same thing Gary says “As long as you save the family and kids have a father everything else you should just posh through” And because of seeing a constant physical and emotional abuse towards my mom, I literally was wishing him death every day and having him in our lives made my childhood beyond miserable

  • @AMontaque-zd9uy
    @AMontaque-zd9uy 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    The comment that I am concerned about is Gary saying he's still in love with Valeria and has stayed in love because she looks the same... 😑 If she gained weight, lost her hair, teeth, etc. would he still feel the same? No one knows.

  • @CarolCurotto
    @CarolCurotto 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    Gary’s take on sensuality , foreplay, sex in general - is wildly gross. I’m so glad my husband was so completely into pleasing me and put it as top priority in our marriage/ sex life … I didn’t know men even thought like Gary anymore. YIKES. Nooooo thank you .

  • @Mongoliantalk
    @Mongoliantalk 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    It's so beautiful to see you authentically communicate. You have such a good ability to lead crucial conversations. I think Gary is also shifting in his self concept. It's a journey and thank you so much for this potcast. ❤️🙏

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      🙏🏻 thank you love! I’m glad you’re enjoying the podcast!

  • @marlen7255
    @marlen7255 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    I do think that Gary’s opinions as far as subjects like couples and relationships etc are very much based and coming from his own feelings and personal experiences towards the love he has for you Valeria. Like of course kids would be best if they grew up in loving homes with both parents, but you can have sooo many reasons to exit a marriage, it’s not based on minor inconveniences. Financial struggles, raising kids in todays societies, unhappy work lives, not making enough to go on holidays or date nights, mortgages, school problems, kids born with abnormalities, serious hardships, or even as simple as changing and falling out of love!!! Like the list is endless and people might not always manage to overcome these hardships. Marriage counselling is very much needed but not everyone might be able to afford it and as Gary said both need to WANT TO PUT THE EFFORT IN! Even though sometimes the effort could be placed and the divorce could still be the outcome. And I do feel that Gary’s opinions sometimes are, from his own generation, a little more rigid… some stuff and the way Gary sees things are ingrained of course, from his own upbringing and going back to where we came from and what was stuck within us, is very important to understand, as Valeria said, so we can deal with todays struggles. But a lot of the time the love he has for Valeria is so great that just by talking about it (divorce) you sense he can’t handle it, and it’s more so based on how he feels, what he would do, how he reacts, (even though some of his stuff is right) yet the opinion is quite “strict” and “simplistic” without being open to exploring the vast issues emotionally, mentally and physically that are at play, in marriages today.

    • @TheKatalin93
      @TheKatalin93 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Is each reason you listed easier to manage alone?

  • @Katrawrina
    @Katrawrina หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Also just lost my mom recently so listening to Gary talk about this and Valeria’s perspective is great for me and my partner to hear ❤

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Glad this conversation came at the right time for you. I’m truly sorry for your loss ❤️🙏🏻 sending so much love!

  • @nm8548
    @nm8548 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Hearing anybody lose their parent in ANY age and them shedding a tear makes me tear up also...we had barely seen your mum Gary put felt so sad for you...happy to see you are processing it wel...

  • @strawberry1025
    @strawberry1025 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Opinions do not have to align [ours don't....lol] but values do. Shared values are key I feel. My tuppence worth after near forty years of marriage. Many blessings on you both Gary and Valeria, and my deepest sympathies to you Gary on the loss of your mother. Complex relationships yield complex grieving and I send you a huge hug over the pond from Dublin.

  • @sarahh9903
    @sarahh9903 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Condolences for your family. I wish Gary's mother and your family peace and healing during this challenging time.

  • @hotdot10
    @hotdot10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    My condolences to you Gary ❤ I really admire your resilience through such a difficult time. I could only dream of coping with such a significant loss this way. Wishing you all the best 🙏

  • @ilknurer6537
    @ilknurer6537 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    A man, like a real man in right mind in USA!
    Gary you are an endangered kind. Glad to hear you today.
    Greetings from Istanbul Turkey☀️

  • @sofiaiwaszewicz4251
    @sofiaiwaszewicz4251 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Hello Valeria and Gary! Thank you for having this conversation publicly, i enjoyed it very much! I feel like I share both of your opinions, like I agree with the both of you on almost everything. It’s not about taking sides, in a marriage you are one so you shouldn’t try to “win” necessarily. It’s hard though, I know, as a newlywed I’m learning it myself. Traditional marriage and learning about the other sex, having grace compassion and love for your spouse are fundamental. Thank you!

  • @mauranoonan8951
    @mauranoonan8951 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    Interesting conversation! My opinion is closely aligned with Valeria’s. There are so many grey areas in life. ❤ One thing I really believe in is personal responsibility. At the end of the day we are capable of listening to our conscience and making the right decisions. ❤ Adding: Gary said it would be better if his parents had stayed together, but he added if they got along….that’s the reason they divorced. It sounds as though it was an unhappy situation. I don’t think that would have been better.

  • @karinafischer1041
    @karinafischer1041 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I love seeing how you guys have different opinions on several things, and are able to listen and discuss calmly, and accept that you dont need to agree in everything. ❤

  • @user-ec4hc9wl8u
    @user-ec4hc9wl8u 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Sorry in advance for my english (My native language is portuguese 😅 but…
    OMG !!!! Those first 20 minutes of this exchange is the most beautifful, sincere, relatable and full of love exchange that I’ve seen on a postcast in a long long long time !!
    Gary, for the 1st time in 11 years I feel I can think of my both parents passing away in a most peacefull way… thank you so much ❤❤❤

  • @inesbarros3847
    @inesbarros3847 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    i loved this episode. i tend to agree with Gary on the divorce topic (probably in part because i grew up watching my parents navigate ups and downs in marriage, but nothing ever passed me more security than them sticking together and working things out). nowadays i'm married with 2 young kids- i can only hope me and my husband are able to work through hard phases with the same resilience my parents did back then.

    • @etsukofly
      @etsukofly 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      i mean, i think everyone tries but trying doesn't mean they will succeed. hence enter divorce. people are flawed and not everyone has ability to work it out. anyone who is unhappy consistently at some point would question what the hell they are doing with their life being unhappy trying

  • @pi5162
    @pi5162 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I've been with you since the start, Valeria, and I've grown to admire you more over time. You really are brilliant

  • @360Jelly
    @360Jelly 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    This is a really good episode. I would listen to you and Gary talk all day!

    • @iwanolga
      @iwanolga 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Completely agree.

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it ❤️

  • @stellamaxwell777
    @stellamaxwell777 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    Proud of you for transitioning into more personal, substantive content, Valeria! This was excellent. Keep up the good work 😊

  • @sianimay420
    @sianimay420 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Conversations between you two are my favourite. Love how deep you dive into each others opinions and still respect the differences. Lots of interesting points were raised about how nature and circumstance affect relationships

  • @tulip_peony
    @tulip_peony หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    I’m so glad we still have men like Gary with his opinions regarding marriage and divorce! I agree with him! Both partners have to put in the effort into the marriage period. If one of the partners stop trying, then (behavior is a language) they’re trying to tell you that they don’t want to be married to you. So obviously you can’t control someone else, you are going to leave because you can’t force someone to want to be married to you.

  • @justezajankauskaite3440
    @justezajankauskaite3440 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Gary very sorry to hear about your mom. Thank you both for this great and vulnerable conversation.

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      🙏🏻❤️ Thanks for listening

  • @an.7039
    @an.7039 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    i loved listening to Valeria, you put the essence of marriage dynamic in simple 3-4 sentences. i felt seen

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Glad this one resonated with you ❤

  • @simonamankova
    @simonamankova 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I think Gary is such a solid gentleman so he doesn’t consider low value men into his opinions and theories. It’s good!!!
    Also I admire your grace Valeria - very inspiring.

  • @cher1982
    @cher1982 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

    He thinks he is so much more emotionally intelligent than her and he has it sooooo wrong.
    There is also an under the surface aggression I get from him.
    He definitely thinks he is the smartest person in every room.
    I feel she will continue to evolve and he will get left behind.

    • @cher1982
      @cher1982 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

      Her patience is so admirable …..as quite a few times I’ve shouted ‘oh shut the fu** up’ 😅

    • @lar7849
      @lar7849 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      100%

  • @simonaplucarova1295
    @simonaplucarova1295 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    I love how you keep your ground Valeria ....❤❤❤

  • @mahaajami6933
    @mahaajami6933 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    I’m impressed how you, Velaria, are very calm and composed❤

  • @sonnylovesfreddy340
    @sonnylovesfreddy340 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Gary is right. Men don't talk to their friends about their marriages. You know who they do talk to? Other women. And a lot of the time, those intimate conversations lead to infidelity.

  • @olga.lialeka.esl.
    @olga.lialeka.esl. 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Valeria you are so wise honestly! A beautiful woman inside and out, thank you for this amazing conversation with Gary. A lot of things to think about ❤

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you so much 🙏🏻❤️

  • @Nourabdallah-bw2uq
    @Nourabdallah-bw2uq 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    What a lovely couple with absolutely calm intelligent conversations!

  • @heYMIO
    @heYMIO 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    The point to look backward is to learn, reflect and grow. Val is so wise! ❤

  • @jessicam8346
    @jessicam8346 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    One thing that I'm seeing in that "single mother in marriage" sphere, is that women are being very influenced as well as educated about what children need around diet, screen exposure, outdoor time, etc. and the fathers may not have the interest or bandwidth to research all of that, and so it creates a divide between a father who is still stuck in how he is raised and a mother who is hyper-focused on meeting expectations that they've acquired through parent influencers, psychologists, etc.

    • @balahatun
      @balahatun 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Yeah such an important observation

  • @aplusjba
    @aplusjba 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I have watched your channel before and I think that you are very intelligent, wise and fun.
    I didn’t know much about Gary, but after watching this, I understand the attraction. His opinion has value and I think that couples give up too easily on marriage. We must sometimes work hard on relationships, particularly when children are involved. There are exceptions where it is unhealthy to stay in a relationship. I come from a similar background as the two of you and so I can understand both of your thoughts and views. The fact that you can so respectfully and openly communicate is a key component to a successful marriage. We need not always agree. It’s the caring of the others opinion that is key and you two have that. ❤

  • @michelwatt349
    @michelwatt349 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    The culture of taking care of your parents is real. I’m 31 and grew up speaking Polish and being taught family is everything which it is, but I will do anything and everything for my parents when they get older, because they did everything for me in terms of taking care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself so I owe it to them to take care of them when they can’t ❤

  • @aglaiaorganic
    @aglaiaorganic 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    The difference between animals and humans is that humans have the ability to go beyond their nature by free will.
    Free will is the choice what to do with it. To choose unity and love or to choose for the self alone ( our ego)

  • @seanbean002
    @seanbean002 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I don't agree with gary- but coming from a complicated family, on multiple sides of ww2, i can respect how much historical and socio/cultural aspects come into his mindset. It is obvious he has an 'old world' mindset with a 'new world' brain. May not work for all, but so long as it works for you... my mom told me, when i had issues with her relationship with my dad, it is my relationship, my marriage. If i am happy and he is happy, why does your ideal matter for us?

  • @rachlovesthebeatles
    @rachlovesthebeatles 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    My husband is also the son of a Holocaust survivor. Reading “Children of the Holocaust” by Helen Epstein helped me (and helped him) understand his worldview and psychology. It could be a helpful book for you both as well. It’s impossible to completely understand our husbands and the generational trauma they hold, but this book really helped me begin to empathize on a deeper, more profound level.

  • @Sofia_.._
    @Sofia_.._ 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    "I'm being sensual with my motorcycle?!?" 😂🤣🤣 oh Gary Gary

    • @Sofia_.._
      @Sofia_.._ 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Gary, listen to your wife and the feather tickling! Happy wife happy life 🎉

  • @ccdomazet
    @ccdomazet 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I love you two. I cried, laughed and learnt alot from this. Still love how humble you guys are. Best people!!

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      aw thank you so much ❤️🥹 sending love!

  • @sonaliandani1735
    @sonaliandani1735 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I love the way you articulate your thoughts Valeria!! Your authenticity and emotional intelligence is inspiring 🙌

  • @simplycm
    @simplycm 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I feel the same, my mom died 2 months ago. I live in Denmark and during breaktime from my work, that's usually the time I talked with her, she lived in Philippines. And I am still adjusting, many times I reach my phone to call mom and then I remember she moved on. 😢

  • @aleksandrasazdova
    @aleksandrasazdova 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I just love, love, love your podcasts with Gary! Feels so casual and natural how the conversation flows.. Love to see more of this, please! ❤

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thanks lovely ❤️ More to come!

  • @aidasdiary
    @aidasdiary 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    I liked Gary until this episode 😅 he’s really not trying to get it and has a very simplistic view… if ppl would get along, they wouldn’t need to divorce, if both putting the work was an option, they wouldn’t get a divorce… it’s mostly because one partner (very often the man) doesn’t want to put the work, thinks his wife is nagging and complaining whenever she brings up things that she misses or ideas to improve their relationship 😅

  • @marip9256
    @marip9256 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Why is all I hear a grumpy old man talking? I thought Gary was much more than that. The way he's stuck in his own beliefs is sad. And to say that divorce is not good for kids, like he's never heard of abusive situations? I honestly think he did this on purpose. He wanted it to be a controversial conversation because the things he said are just nonsense. Valeria, as always, elegant and patient, thriving in her 30's. Girl, teach us on how you do it.

  • @Ninia-slays
    @Ninia-slays 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Loved the episode! I love how open you and Garry are ❤️

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it ❤

  • @margaritapetrova3427
    @margaritapetrova3427 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Yep, I’m pretty much a single mother in a relationship and I feel that I’m the one who puts the real effort to push this relationship forward without much success.

  • @evelynnarollo
    @evelynnarollo 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Valeria I appreciate you more hearing this Podcast. It resonates how you manage emotions. Sigh. Virgo Heart is tired 🫠

  • @Cristinashubin
    @Cristinashubin 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    I love you guys. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable ❤❤❤

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you for watching! Sending love❤️

  • @hpsvetka
    @hpsvetka หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Feathers and tickling matter, Gary😂😂😂 love you guys!❤

  • @samantarizzi248
    @samantarizzi248 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I agree with Gary a lot. Also, my fiance is the same way when we talk about relationships and divorce... he thinks a divorce is never even an option, unless of course it's because someone did something really horrible and deceiving to another person, but he in general doesn't like the concept of divorce mainly because of the same thing Gary said, people give up too easily whenever a small problem occurs... but yeah, I'm somewhere in the middle with this, sometimes people just fall out of love I guess. Each relationship and marriage is diffent anyways, so we can't always generalize like this. I do respect my partner and I'm always going to be willing to try to resolve problems instead of running away from them. :) For me marriage is sacred too and my soon to be husband made me realize that to the full extent.
    Loved the conversation!

  • @foodworld88
    @foodworld88 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    For me is like being with each other like brother and sister.
    Big fight today like nothing had happened tomorrow.
    And we nerver talked or argued about money.

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Conflict resolution looks different for everyone, as long as you’re doing what works best for you and your partner ❤️

  • @gabrieladagenais6665
    @gabrieladagenais6665 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I love these new kind of videos Valeria!! Love your authenticity, thank you so much ❤ - Your friendly Canadian :)

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I’m glad you enjoy them! Thanks for watching ❤❤

  • @sanjeevbains690
    @sanjeevbains690 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Personality disorders - divorce is good. I agree with Valeria. Gary has unresolved trauma of having to take care of his Mum. If one person neglects the other and refuses to put in effort then that is not a marriage. Marriage like.

  • @justynamaks
    @justynamaks 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I just love your conversation, i appreciate the most videos when you two talk about stuff, please do it more frequently 😊

  • @AlexandraG-hd5yq
    @AlexandraG-hd5yq 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thank you. Its been good listening to you guys

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  23 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Glad you enjoyed this one! Thanks for listening in ❤️

  • @xhescuka
    @xhescuka หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Gary is the best husband. His thoughts are just like a man's thought should be when it comes to his woman and family

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      He is ❤️ Even though we don’t always have the same opinion, I’m glad we’re able to have honest conversations about these topics!

  • @nadyanadya2883
    @nadyanadya2883 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

    So sorry to hear about your mom, Gary. Keep strong!

  • @klara664
    @klara664 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Your convos always remind me of my discussions with my hubby 😊sometimes we agree, sometimes agree to disagree 😅but we always love to talk to each other on various topics, ranging from business, social issues, politics to random topics like documentary about trees xD being best friends with your spouse is super important in a marriage😊 (we are together since we were 17 years old, now we are half of our lives together, lived in several countries, currently back to our home country Poland but already planning to live in Dubai or Miami within the next few years)❤

  • @AMontaque-zd9uy
    @AMontaque-zd9uy 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Gary needs to perhaps live with other couples or families to see that marriage or divorce in and of themselves do not dictate the health of a family unit. His own experience with his parents getting a divorce influence his understanding of separation and putting undo stress on the offspring. Some families are highly toxic. I work as an educator where I see all kinds of family structures. Some children who see healthy parental partnerships tend to better than those who don't married or divorced. Kids know when a parent is unfaithful, abusive, unkind. I've had students come up to me saying they are disgusted by their parent for creating children outside the marriage. These marriages/ divorces are the hardest as they directly impact the economic stability of the first family. Everything changes with or without divorce. Participation in milestones such as birthdays, concerts and play, sports events, parent teacher night. Inheritance and division of assets and legacy. Nevermind money. Emotional energy, time, and attachment are split. Divorce may not be the answer for some, but it can be a viable resolution based on the two people in it.

    • @anatopi7668
      @anatopi7668 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Indeed, he's only talking from his point of view.

  • @kathrynmoll86
    @kathrynmoll86 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    That you two can talk is amazing. I could never get my husband to open up like Gary is with you. He’s right, though! Especially with the Ibiza workshop matter. However, I understand you, Valeria! But Gary’s spot on about men. Love you and your family vibe!

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      So grateful that we can communicate our thoughts honestly and glad we could share this conversation with our community ❤️ Thank you for watching, sending so much love!

  • @kimgirl702
    @kimgirl702 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Society has evolved faster than human physiology - we evolve very slowly. That's why there's conflict between our human nature and societal expectations, and we need to be aware that our human brains are not caught up to where society, culture, and technology are.

  • @Olesiaro
    @Olesiaro วันที่ผ่านมา

    Your conversations with each other are absolutely the best ❤

  • @taiadzyan8939
    @taiadzyan8939 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Your husband is so wise and understands the proper role of a parent. He also really understands marriage and commitment. I hear the wisdom in what Gary is sharing and I sense Valeria secretly contemplating divorce.
    “The only way out is leaving “ is emotionally immature and laziness. It requires a lot of maturity and wisdom to have a successful marriage especially in a culture that strongly promotes divorce. The family until is the bedrock of a healthy society.

  • @arevikzohrabyan3104
    @arevikzohrabyan3104 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Enjoyed every moment of this conversation❤

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Glad to hear it! Thanks for watching love ❤️

  • @eluby
    @eluby 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This was really cool, Valeria! Such light-hearted conversation, very enjoyable 😊

  • @stephaniem5188
    @stephaniem5188 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    Red cardigan is amazing on you ❤

  • @juicyjessica2298
    @juicyjessica2298 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Valeria is level headed and Gary is stern in stating opinions. I think this will be good for kids to see both ways and make their own decisions. I feel when parents think tooo similarly, children come out extremely biased.

  • @akilbourne
    @akilbourne 28 วันที่ผ่านมา

    100% agree with Gary regarding divorce. He is right on. You will ALWAYS have issues in marriage. People most definitely give up to easily. More so than ever. If more people had grit and figured out how to make their marriages work, society would be so much better as a whole.

  • @celestedasilva4109
    @celestedasilva4109 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Fav episode so far !

    • @ValeriaLipovetsky
      @ValeriaLipovetsky  26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ❤ glad to hear it! Thanks for watching

  • @BlazeGuardian-n9e
    @BlazeGuardian-n9e 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    m not ashamed to admit I still get so excited to see another Victoria vlog after years of being subscribed xx

  • @annlatham
    @annlatham 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    1:08 Thank you for voicing this ❤️

  • @Andellyelly
    @Andellyelly 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I always appreciate this kind of conversation… I learned a lot. Thank you ❤❤

  • @almastebele4564
    @almastebele4564 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    This man just doesn’t listen

  • @jowiens32
    @jowiens32 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I don’t follow tennis and never heard of this wonderful human, but really enjoyed the conversation. Thank you!

  • @janeturkova4228
    @janeturkova4228 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Interesting talk! It also would be also interesting to hear how you overcame your crises in life (they say it's a 3-year crisis, a 10-year crisis, etc.)

  • @violettamoura
    @violettamoura 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Valeria you’re so right on! Everything that you said you hit the nail on the head. You challenge both sides very well and fairly!