I’m so sorry Sam. It’s never easy on anybody. I was in a 8 months relationship(not that long compared to many others) but when I decided to break up (2020), I didn’t expect to have the thoughts of our good times playing over and over. Sending positive vibes!👊
If you looking for closure because you never got any just remember that they left you. They don’t want you anymore. Your soul mate wouldn’t have left you. So keep your head up that person will come.
I can't have fun with/enjoy things anymore. Any song I hear from the radio brings back memories and makes me feel lost and alone. All the roads I walk down, I remember holding her hand there before. When I lay in bed at night it's colder and emptier than ever. But it's different than most situations, I miss who she was with me. She completely changed after our break up. I miss making you laugh. I really miss you so damn much. I can't believe I actually lost you. I thought we were inseparable.
I remember having that too , it was like finding peace within a person to the point where they became my home .But now its cold its empty and i have no home and maybe im actually alone ..
Hey guys, after letting my first love go, a beautiful hearted person who come to my life and ready to spend all their moments for me, just accept the past and love yourself and take care of ur needs and everything will fall into ur place❣️
I never proposed to my first love. I was in love with her for almost 5 years and never told her. Now we are heading different paths and im, partly, grateful of this experience because I can learn about some things I should have done or things I shouldnt. Im now in a relationship that I hope to last, making both of us happy and complete for the longest time posible.
my experience, im only 16... i was15 at the time. she did and still does have depression issues, i had to save her from killing herself every few weeks in the first half of 2019, and we broke up in july of 2019. i ended up contacting her a few days ago and i got roped back in because of how much i love her and miss her. today i learned she is still very very unstable mentally. and i finally realized all the memories i have to let go no matter how hard this is
This was needed. It happened a night ago and she gave me all my stuff yesterday. She was my first everything. It hurts but I also knows it's best. We are both great people, just need different things, misunderstand and wanted so much
Its 4:15 PM I tried taking a short nap but it changed into a big one. In my dream I saw myself feeling not okey with all these changes which are taking place in my life. Suddenly I woke up and started feeling weird. I wanted to listen to something good and then I found your voice. Thank you so much for making my heart less heavy. You are right all this are part of the healing process. I am grateful for everything what I have in life. ♥️
Together with mine for 3 years from 10-13 years old when I had to move away. She was my refuge from an abusive household. Refused to date anyone for eight years in the journey back to her. I ended 100 years of abuse in my family for her. I returned, but she was engaged to someone else. That was 25 years ago and even after marrying myself, I still love her. I eventually wrote a novel about it to my sons and it went on to win over eight awards. It is now published and can be found on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble.
Wow. Thank you. I needed someone to say this to me. I prayed really hard for all of what was going on to make sense and this video appeared on my feed. Thank you Sabrina. ❤ You’re an angel to me.
Its been 5 years in 21 now i already know i want to die young and alone nobody else feels like her or gives me the joys i once felt my soul is snuffed out
I can't even tell you how much this helped me, even as to just cry it out like you said, I know I will love it again, but it helped me not feel guilty about loving again and I just want to say that you, who are reading this rn, deserve every bit of happiness you can imagine, great this are going to happen to you and I will cheer you on as you see that you deserve every. single. one.
We dated for 2 years we were 17 broke up at 20. We were each other’s first everything. Things were good but I didn’t have a job or a car license and didn’t have any goals and I wasn’t applying myself. I never made my problems her problems but I knew they hurt her and she told me there would come a point where she couldn’t keep being with me but I didn’t listen. The pain of losing her was the biggest wake up call I’ve ever had in my life. I realized I’d rather put myself in uncomfortable situations and do things I don’t wanna do then not have her in my life. I asked her if when I figure things out if she’d give us another chance but she said no which made me angry because Im fighting for us but she’s not even though we always told eachother we would and we were soulmates and all that stuff. It’s only been 2 months and I’m sure things will get better with time but even though I’m working on myself and doing better for myself I think of her when I wake up when I go to sleep at work with friends everything. Her smile, her laugh, her hugs, all the little memories and jokes and our handshake and EVERYTHING. I want to move on but I can’t because I gave her all of me. She was everything and more to me. I just fear that no one will ever be able to check all the boxes that she did and I’ll never love someone like what we had. Especially because she was my first everything and I don’t see any girls out here that are even close to her she was the whole package. And I get angry at her for giving up on me when she said she wouldn’t and I get angry at myself for ruining it. Now I’m stuck in this constant state of grief and I still cry even 2 months later. And I don’t even know if she ever misses me or thinks about all the memories the way I do. Not having her in my life hurts more than death
tg for 5 months, but it was beautiful. it honestly felt like we were tg for years. He was my first everything. And I had to end it bc he teated me like a female friend, not a gf. he was so good. i cant find it in me to hate him. I love him. I love his hair, his eyes, his nose, his hands, his smile, his laugh, his everything. its been a month and 3 days since I broke up with me, and I wish it would end.
I’m with someone else who I really am happy with who I love. But why do I still think of my first love? It’s been almost 4 months and we broke up multiple times within our relationship. I don’t even want to get back with him.
We never even dated. And I somehow got her back, but she has no time even though she said she would be willing to try again. We’ve changed and we’re two new people and the timing. It’s always the timing. I don’t know what’s in store for us, but I’ll always love her. She can always count on me. Whenever she needs me I’ll be there. I just don’t understand why things have to be complicated.
I needed this I’ve known and still talk to my first love even though me and him only dated for nine months and it ended with him dating my now ex BFF I still am healing from that pain it takes a long time but Ik over time I will get over this
The heartbreak I feel over my friend whom I fell in love with is the most intense heartbreak I've ever felt, not the same as the little crush heartbreaks I've had. I knew her for over 2 years before I fell for her. I'm afraid to say that I might just have to say goodbye to the friendship, which breaks my heart even more, but life doesn't work the way you want it to sometimes. Hope she lives a wonderful life.
I remember I thought I would die that year I had to let him go. I felt like it was just me against the world, so lonely and small... So much left to heal, and still so much left to learn. To live, to grow, to love.
1 year post breakup from my first love whom I was with for 6 years, today he posted a photo with his girlfriend and god it hurt. I'm not as over it as I thought I was.
I am sorry syk you will probably never read this but my heart is so broken and I can’t blame anyone but myself. Thank you for showing me what love is thank you for being the best friend best person ever. From best friends to strangers that’s what hurts the most I guess. I’ll love you always. You’ll forever have a special place in my heart sYk. Thank you
My boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago. I love him so much. Our first date…We went to a skating rink. I did my best to make him feel loved and cared for because his last relationship hurt him real bad. I bought him food. He only wanted 6 mozzerella sticks (bite size). I bought him more cause I wanted him to eat more. He starved himself because a bad person told him to start counting his calories and control what he eats. Now, he barely eats. Near the end of our date, He did something that will forever be treasured. He went to the DJ booth and whispered something to her. He didnt want me to hear what he said. Suddenly, The DJ says “Attention skaters, can we please have everyone leave the rink quietly, we’d like to congratulate Shawn and Ayrin for having their first date here at our rink. We will now be starting a couples skate”. They started playing the song “I wanna know what love is” (it was retro night). Him and I skated, Everything felt light and amazing but soon we had to go. From that point on, everything started going downhill… I would text him Goodnight, Goodmorning, And I love you and he wouldnt say it back. He would sometimes but not all the time. He would not respond to my messages for two hours or more. Sometimes, he wouldnt even reply at all. I felt sad but My love for him was blinding me. I couldnt see the red flags. He said he was busy all the time. Its okay, whatever he was doing was alot more important than me. So important that he couldnt even spare 30 seconds to reply and say that he has to go. I still love him and I know alot of you will hate me for this but I still want him back. I wanna love, spoil, and be there for him. He has been hurt so much. So much that he doesnt believe that I love him. I was willing to be sad everyday just to be with him (I was sad cause he never talked to me). He said he loved me sometimes but that doesnt matter to me. He needs to show it. I dont think he really loved me. He said hed keep me forever. What happened to that? I dont know, love is really hard.
Mmm hey.., Im living the exact same story right now.. and i really would like to talk about it cuz its not clear at all and stuff, its very complicated.. im feeling the same way you're feeling rn, its hard to not think about whats happening. Can we go on like something private to talk about it ? Like discord, insta, anything, i just want to have some things cleared up a bit at least
I broke up w my first love , we were together for 7 years, a lot of things make us break up inside this 7 years, But this time was the time to finally let go, and now we broken up for 7 months, I’m happier healthier, w a new person who treats me like a dream, But sometimes I still can’t see any true love other than my ex. Even tho I moved on so long ago.
idk, its been 2 years now, i still want to try again, because i was at fault. over time i realised how wrong i was. i would love to try again and be the best but i am afraid if they have any space for me in their heart. i cant let them go, they have known me since we were both child, grew apart but still have similar interests. if all the things would have been right, it would have been so much pretty right? i have lost a gem, and day by day their value is increasing, the memories i mean, because since then i have never been able to be vulnerable to anyone, and i neither have that soft spot for anyone else, neither me.
This video is really, I was with my first girlfriend for nearly 2 years she dumps me and then I find out she’s seeing my best mate behind my back straight away I’m like bruh then it hit me she cheated but still I like the video everyone who’s going through this I feel your pain and everyone will find someone else all in good time
It’s been 5 years I fucking loved her I miss her so much i grew because of it but I wasn’t ready for I want to see other people those words killed me 10-2~2019
I’m suprised a women made typically yall move on very quick my first love had another boyfriend within a month of us not dating and I do feel I will never find someone like them it’s been 2 years I still dream, reminisce, think about her I wish I had done more.
can you really promise i will fall in love again, we had broken up before but we got back after 10 months i couldnt move on in that time, but again she does it again after tens of times, i dont want to keep chasing even though I still want them, can I really fall in love again?
Me and her... We were forcefully separated because of family issues... Even though we still love each other and wanted to be for each other but we cant... I guess it's the ending... Love is not for everyone... Feel lucky you are with someone who you love because it's not meant for everybody...
I am just a fool who fell for my best friend, but could not tell her for years. Cuz I was afraid of losing her and when I finally did. Got to know that she still hasn't moved on from her first love.. life's such a mofo. Because this was my first love and she hasn't moved on from her first love.
Is 8 years later that bad? Various relationships after her… and still I wouldent know what to do if she showed up in front of me… she’s like a goddes or some really heavy drug… I always keep thinking of her, maybe cos back when I was with her was the last time that I was truly happy…
Its been 10 years since him. He left me because my mental health was chaotic and I attempted suicide multiple times. It was too much for him. I gave my virginity to him when I was 18. I wanted to give it to somebody I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. I happy cried during my first time because I loved him so much. Now I can never have a first time with anyone else. I couldn't cope with the fact that sex would no longer be special. I went through nihilistic phase where I wanted to hurt emotionally because intimacy didn't matter anymore. Sex didn't matter anymore and so I put myself in dangerous situations sleeping around with lots of men(I have a body count of 35 people). I turned to sex as a way to get validation. That maybe I'd be wanted at least because I was good in bed. Ive had two relationships mixed into that "hoe" phase. Ive been extremely on and off with a guy im living with for 6 years now. Hes very different and although im fond of him and "think" I love him, it feels nowhere as intense as my first love. We fight a lot. Hes autistic and I have borderline personality disorder. This relationship is hard. Its exhausting. It also hurt my feelings when he was shocked by my body count. I hadn't thought of it as something thats shameful until his reaction and all these red pill alpha podcast bros online said it was. I can't help myself missing how intense and CAREFREE my first love relationship was. Loving him was easy. We never had fights. He never made me feel self conscious about my weight(my current partner tries to get me to lose weight). I never picked apart the parts of my body and put up walls. I remember the fireworks when his lips touched mine. Time doesn't forget. It just seems to circle back to me. His recently divorced ex wife contacted me to tell me that she empathized with me because he and his family treated her badly. Her contacting me has sent me on a roller coaster of emotions. Me telling her that he was great to me and that I was the problem. Me begging to her to tell me if he ever talked about me .
Nobody understands, together for 5 and 1/2 years from 16-21. Ended 16 months ago .. still not over it.
I’m so sorry Sam. It’s never easy on anybody. I was in a 8 months relationship(not that long compared to many others) but when I decided to break up (2020), I didn’t expect to have the thoughts of our good times playing over and over. Sending positive vibes!👊
How r u doing Sam
Mine was 7 and half years from 18 to 26, ended 2 months ago. It started making me feel like the end of the world. But I am feeling better day by day.
@@walzy2542 hang in there buddy, what saved me was improving myself each day and being in service to others. It helped me keep my mind off of things.
same situation, 1 year later and I'm still hurting sometimes I feel so pathetic but comments like these remind me I'm not alone.
10 years together. Its been 6 years since we departed. Never forgot about him. His my true and only love.
It still hurts so much to let go of him, but I need to move on and learn to love myself again. Thank you Sabrina, I needed this today ❤
Did you learn to let go?
@@Forit26 did you?
@@annieleonh7rt i was never attached in the first place
💯
If you looking for closure because you never got any just remember that they left you. They don’t want you anymore. Your soul mate wouldn’t have left you. So keep your head up that person will come.
I can't have fun with/enjoy things anymore. Any song I hear from the radio brings back memories and makes me feel lost and alone. All the roads I walk down, I remember holding her hand there before. When I lay in bed at night it's colder and emptier than ever. But it's different than most situations, I miss who she was with me. She completely changed after our break up. I miss making you laugh. I really miss you so damn much. I can't believe I actually lost you. I thought we were inseparable.
I remember having that too , it was like finding peace within a person to the point where they became my home .But now its cold its empty and i have no home and maybe im actually alone ..
Not cringy , fitting music, great message, good vibes. Nice 🙂
She's happy she said..
It's hard to let go... But we need to understand them..
Hey guys, after letting my first love go, a beautiful hearted person who come to my life and ready to spend all their moments for me, just accept the past and love yourself and take care of ur needs and everything will fall into ur place❣️
I can't, it's been years and the pain keep on growing...
I literally can't stop crying when I am alone
Same
I never proposed to my first love. I was in love with her for almost 5 years and never told her. Now we are heading different paths and im, partly, grateful of this experience because I can learn about some things I should have done or things I shouldnt. Im now in a relationship that I hope to last, making both of us happy and complete for the longest time posible.
my experience, im only 16... i was15 at the time. she did and still does have depression issues, i had to save her from killing herself every few weeks in the first half of 2019, and we broke up in july of 2019. i ended up contacting her a few days ago and i got roped back in because of how much i love her and miss her. today i learned she is still very very unstable mentally. and i finally realized all the memories i have to let go no matter how hard this is
How r you doing bro
This was needed. It happened a night ago and she gave me all my stuff yesterday. She was my first everything. It hurts but I also knows it's best. We are both great people, just need different things, misunderstand and wanted so much
Its 4:15 PM I tried taking a short nap but it changed into a big one. In my dream I saw myself feeling not okey with all these changes which are taking place in my life. Suddenly I woke up and started feeling weird. I wanted to listen to something good and then I found your voice. Thank you so much for making my heart less heavy. You are right all this are part of the healing process. I am grateful for everything what I have in life. ♥️
Together with mine for 3 years from 10-13 years old when I had to move away. She was my refuge from an abusive household. Refused to date anyone for eight years in the journey back to her. I ended 100 years of abuse in my family for her. I returned, but she was engaged to someone else. That was 25 years ago and even after marrying myself, I still love her.
I eventually wrote a novel about it to my sons and it went on to win over eight awards. It is now published and can be found on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble.
Wow. Thank you. I needed someone to say this to me. I prayed really hard for all of what was going on to make sense and this video appeared on my feed. Thank you Sabrina. ❤ You’re an angel to me.
Its been 5 years in 21 now i already know i want to die young and alone nobody else feels like her or gives me the joys i once felt my soul is snuffed out
I quite literally felt like that was a message to myself, thank you 💕
I can't even tell you how much this helped me, even as to just cry it out like you said, I know I will love it again, but it helped me not feel guilty about loving again and I just want to say that you, who are reading this rn, deserve every bit of happiness you can imagine, great this are going to happen to you and I will cheer you on as you see that you deserve every. single. one.
We dated for 2 years we were 17 broke up at 20. We were each other’s first everything. Things were good but I didn’t have a job or a car license and didn’t have any goals and I wasn’t applying myself. I never made my problems her problems but I knew they hurt her and she told me there would come a point where she couldn’t keep being with me but I didn’t listen. The pain of losing her was the biggest wake up call I’ve ever had in my life. I realized I’d rather put myself in uncomfortable situations and do things I don’t wanna do then not have her in my life. I asked her if when I figure things out if she’d give us another chance but she said no which made me angry because Im fighting for us but she’s not even though we always told eachother we would and we were soulmates and all that stuff. It’s only been 2 months and I’m sure things will get better with time but even though I’m working on myself and doing better for myself I think of her when I wake up when I go to sleep at work with friends everything. Her smile, her laugh, her hugs, all the little memories and jokes and our handshake and EVERYTHING. I want to move on but I can’t because I gave her all of me. She was everything and more to me. I just fear that no one will ever be able to check all the boxes that she did and I’ll never love someone like what we had. Especially because she was my first everything and I don’t see any girls out here that are even close to her she was the whole package. And I get angry at her for giving up on me when she said she wouldn’t and I get angry at myself for ruining it. Now I’m stuck in this constant state of grief and I still cry even 2 months later. And I don’t even know if she ever misses me or thinks about all the memories the way I do. Not having her in my life hurts more than death
tg for 5 months, but it was beautiful. it honestly felt like we were tg for years. He was my first everything. And I had to end it bc he teated me like a female friend, not a gf. he was so good. i cant find it in me to hate him. I love him. I love his hair, his eyes, his nose, his hands, his smile, his laugh, his everything. its been a month and 3 days since I broke up with me, and I wish it would end.
Thank you for making this!! ❤
this video is really helpful thank you🙏 i’m struggling really hard with this right now
Video made me feel ten times better, thank you Sabrina
I needed this it just hurts a lot sometimes thinking about her
Hey
I must thank you for this
Ive watched other vids but this is by far the best
I truly miss her
I did my best to try and make her stay but
I’m with someone else who I really am happy with who I love. But why do I still think of my first love? It’s been almost 4 months and we broke up multiple times within our relationship. I don’t even want to get back with him.
This is amazing, thank you so much
We never even dated. And I somehow got her back, but she has no time even though she said she would be willing to try again. We’ve changed and we’re two new people and the timing. It’s always the timing. I don’t know what’s in store for us, but I’ll always love her. She can always count on me. Whenever she needs me I’ll be there. I just don’t understand why things have to be complicated.
Thank u , I needed it badly
This made me feel so much better
this is beautiful
Why do i still feel like this since 3 years
Thanks i needed this
I needed this I’ve known and still talk to my first love even though me and him only dated for nine months and it ended with him dating my now ex BFF I still am healing from that pain it takes a long time but Ik over time I will get over this
The heartbreak I feel over my friend whom I fell in love with is the most intense heartbreak I've ever felt, not the same as the little crush heartbreaks I've had. I knew her for over 2 years before I fell for her. I'm afraid to say that I might just have to say goodbye to the friendship, which breaks my heart even more, but life doesn't work the way you want it to sometimes. Hope she lives a wonderful life.
I remember I thought I would die that year I had to let him go. I felt like it was just me against the world, so lonely and small... So much left to heal, and still so much left to learn. To live, to grow, to love.
But it’s been 5 years since we broke up and i still can’t get over it
1 year post breakup from my first love whom I was with for 6 years, today he posted a photo with his girlfriend and god it hurt. I'm not as over it as I thought I was.
I am sorry syk you will probably never read this but my heart is so broken and I can’t blame anyone but myself. Thank you for showing me what love is thank you for being the best friend best person ever. From best friends to strangers that’s what hurts the most I guess. I’ll love you always. You’ll forever have a special place in my heart sYk. Thank you
My boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago. I love him so much. Our first date…We went to a skating rink. I did my best to make him feel loved and cared for because his last relationship hurt him real bad. I bought him food. He only wanted 6 mozzerella sticks (bite size). I bought him more cause I wanted him to eat more. He starved himself because a bad person told him to start counting his calories and control what he eats. Now, he barely eats. Near the end of our date, He did something that will forever be treasured. He went to the DJ booth and whispered something to her. He didnt want me to hear what he said. Suddenly, The DJ says “Attention skaters, can we please have everyone leave the rink quietly, we’d like to congratulate Shawn and Ayrin for having their first date here at our rink. We will now be starting a couples skate”. They started playing the song “I wanna know what love is” (it was retro night). Him and I skated, Everything felt light and amazing but soon we had to go. From that point on, everything started going downhill… I would text him Goodnight, Goodmorning, And I love you and he wouldnt say it back. He would sometimes but not all the time. He would not respond to my messages for two hours or more. Sometimes, he wouldnt even reply at all. I felt sad but My love for him was blinding me. I couldnt see the red flags. He said he was busy all the time. Its okay, whatever he was doing was alot more important than me. So important that he couldnt even spare 30 seconds to reply and say that he has to go. I still love him and I know alot of you will hate me for this but I still want him back. I wanna love, spoil, and be there for him. He has been hurt so much. So much that he doesnt believe that I love him. I was willing to be sad everyday just to be with him (I was sad cause he never talked to me). He said he loved me sometimes but that doesnt matter to me. He needs to show it. I dont think he really loved me. He said hed keep me forever. What happened to that? I dont know, love is really hard.
Mmm hey.., Im living the exact same story right now.. and i really would like to talk about it cuz its not clear at all and stuff, its very complicated.. im feeling the same way you're feeling rn, its hard to not think about whats happening. Can we go on like something private to talk about it ? Like discord, insta, anything, i just want to have some things cleared up a bit at least
Oh dang Sabrina much needed !* ty
Miss my first love even i have many ex already 🙁
Thank you ❤
Thank you
I’ve love my crush, I’ve loved him since 2 years ago.
I broke up w my first love , we were together for 7 years, a lot of things make us break up inside this 7 years,
But this time was the time to finally let go, and now we broken up for 7 months, I’m happier healthier, w a new person who treats me like a dream,
But sometimes I still can’t see any true love other than my ex.
Even tho I moved on so long ago.
5 years 18 to 23, ended about 3 years ago and I still catch myself thinking about it sometimes
does it still hurt?
idk, its been 2 years now, i still want to try again, because i was at fault. over time i realised how wrong i was. i would love to try again and be the best but i am afraid if they have any space for me in their heart. i cant let them go, they have known me since we were both child, grew apart but still have similar interests. if all the things would have been right, it would have been so much pretty right? i have lost a gem, and day by day their value is increasing, the memories i mean, because since then i have never been able to be vulnerable to anyone, and i neither have that soft spot for anyone else, neither me.
Thank you, Sabrina..
Love u girl
Thank you dear
This video is really, I was with my first girlfriend for nearly 2 years she dumps me and then I find out she’s seeing my best mate behind my back straight away I’m like bruh then it hit me she cheated but still I like the video everyone who’s going through this I feel your pain and everyone will find someone else all in good time
It’s been 5 years I fucking loved her I miss her so much i grew because of it but I wasn’t ready for I want to see other people those words killed me 10-2~2019
To think my last breakup was enough to spiral me downwards into the claws of meth/heroin addiction.
I’m suprised a women made typically yall move on very quick my first love had another boyfriend within a month of us not dating and I do feel I will never find someone like them it’s been 2 years I still dream, reminisce, think about her I wish I had done more.
Damn I wish I had seen this two years ago
i’m dating another girl and my first love is better and i’m not over her..
can you really promise i will fall in love again, we had broken up before but we got back after 10 months i couldnt move on in that time, but again she does it again after tens of times, i dont want to keep chasing even though I still want them, can I really fall in love again?
it's been 10 months since we stopped talking but i still can't move on from her, we weren't even dating.
Me and her... We were forcefully separated because of family issues... Even though we still love each other and wanted to be for each other but we cant... I guess it's the ending... Love is not for everyone... Feel lucky you are with someone who you love because it's not meant for everybody...
Augh I'm crying
We can do this together
Hey mads :) I’ll always love ya
It hurts like hell
I still wear the necklace she made me
50yrs...you're wrong
I am just a fool who fell for my best friend, but could not tell her for years. Cuz I was afraid of losing her
and when I finally did.
Got to know that she still hasn't moved on from her first love..
life's such a mofo.
Because this was my first love and she hasn't moved on from her first love.
Somedays and somedays, when drinking thats when
it's a lesson
I closed myself to love after him
real
Listen to z is wild…..lost my first official gf ever a couple of days ago. We still friends but she been found her a new man
Is 8 years later that bad? Various relationships after her… and still I wouldent know what to do if she showed up in front of me… she’s like a goddes or some really heavy drug… I always keep thinking of her, maybe cos back when I was with her was the last time that I was truly happy…
same situation, but 13 years later
:)
What's the song in the video?
Its been 10 years since him. He left me because my mental health was chaotic and I attempted suicide multiple times. It was too much for him.
I gave my virginity to him when I was 18. I wanted to give it to somebody I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. I happy cried during my first time because I loved him so much. Now I can never have a first time with anyone else. I couldn't cope with the fact that sex would no longer be special. I went through nihilistic phase where I wanted to hurt emotionally because intimacy didn't matter anymore. Sex didn't matter anymore and so I put myself in dangerous situations sleeping around with lots of men(I have a body count of 35 people). I turned to sex as a way to get validation. That maybe I'd be wanted at least because I was good in bed. Ive had two relationships mixed into that "hoe" phase. Ive been extremely on and off with a guy im living with for 6 years now. Hes very different and although im fond of him and "think" I love him, it feels nowhere as intense as my first love. We fight a lot. Hes autistic and I have borderline personality disorder. This relationship is hard. Its exhausting. It also hurt my feelings when he was shocked by my body count. I hadn't thought of it as something thats shameful until his reaction and all these red pill alpha podcast bros online said it was.
I can't help myself missing how intense and CAREFREE my first love relationship was. Loving him was easy. We never had fights. He never made me feel self conscious about my weight(my current partner tries to get me to lose weight). I never picked apart the parts of my body and put up walls.
I remember the fireworks when his lips touched mine. Time doesn't forget. It just seems to circle back to me. His recently divorced ex wife contacted me to tell me that she empathized with me because he and his family treated her badly. Her contacting me has sent me on a roller coaster of emotions. Me telling her that he was great to me and that I was the problem. Me begging to her to tell me if he ever talked about me .
What is the background music?
4 months n she broke up with me coz she got bored
Oh my God, It got really hot in here.