Its a never ending cycle parents passing their traumas on their children. And people are so oblivious to this that they dont even want to talk about it. I f I even mention the word trauma to my dad he would act as I said I sae an alien and played chess with it
You make me feel like I am a whole person, who has value and inherent worth, who is not defective or needing to kill off parts of myself for being flawed or unacceptable. You don't make me feel mentally ill or broken; you make me realize I've been wounded and my feelings are justified. I feel hopeful for the first time in a long time after watching your videos and Dr. Peter Breggin.
This is very valuable information. I'm stopping halfway through to remark how important this is. You just said your mother was subjected to the 'silent treatment' by her parents. This is so very significant. That is nothing short of terrorism against a child. Research has proven this. The transgenerational trauma that is in your family is real. Much respect to you for discovering this and doing what you can to end it in your generation.
Daniel is the real deal. The earlier you start do this work the better... but it’s something that starts with a major adverse “happening” in my experience.
My mom was an MFT and she used her schooling to manipulate and destroy my spirit growing up. She was amazing to her clients who viewed her like a God, but when it came to me she would never listen and keep telling me why I was awful because of all these mental health problems she was convinced I had. Last week I finally walked away from her and my dad.
I notice that even though I have cut ties w my parents and family of origin Bc they were so toxic, I seem to still be attracting the same types of people into my life...People who don’t approve of me and criticize me just like my parents did.
I would love to hear you talk about your preferred psychotherapy approach or theory that you found the most useful when you were a therapist? And what were the concepts you believed in the most? The way that you talk about specific topics makes me believe it might be Transactional Analysis, but I'd love to hear more.
I came into my freshman year of college with the intention of going into computer science, and absolutely hated it. In the mean time I turned to other fields of study, and your videos played a huge part in my decision to pursue psych. Thank you for your work:)
Exactly. Thats what I would say too. i would add that it creates a real distrust in me when a therapist is pretending to be listening. i mean everybody has a bad day but making me feel like i cant trust my guts that says they arent listening is just a horrible betrayal. also becoming more present in the moment is important for listening (which is also acheived through learning and most of all healing). another thing is being in good physical shape, good nutrition and enough sleep (as you mentioned) and reducing stress and always being on the internet rather than spending time in nature. i think what is also helpful as an exercise is walking down the street and looking at ppl and feeling inside of them and if you dont like them try noticing what part that you dont like bout yourself do they trigger and why and let it move through you your body and your mind until you start seeing their healthy and wonderful parts and arent pushed away so much anymore (im not saying that you should distrust your intuition to keep away from a person though, could become really dangerous for you). what is also important to start to notice is when you are interpreting something out of your expectations/own experience. Some people are so fixated on the litteral meaning of the words that they completely miss the intonation and gesture posture mimics the energy flowing between them and that everyones usage of words differ, like someone says you hoe maybe all the time when sb annoys them a little and they dont actually mean it all too bad or insulting and the other person then goes and is extremely upset because they think it was meant as an extreme insult. thats one of the hardest things i think, because you gotta know how your lens is blurred before you can filter out your own distortions. also i think releasing shame is extremely important for being able to listen to sb bc if you cant look at them, dont dare to come close, dont dare to open yourself for yourself and another person then your never going to teally listen to someone. So thanks for the video, finally someone who doesnt claim really listening is about paraphrasing everything the other person said.
It would be interesting to listen to you talk about healthy boundaries. It's so hard to keep healthy boundaries with some people and in some situations.
"Could you just acknowledge my existence!": my thought after talking with a family member
Its a never ending cycle parents passing their traumas on their children. And people are so oblivious to this that they dont even want to talk about it. I f I even mention the word trauma to my dad he would act as I said I sae an alien and played chess with it
You make me feel like I am a whole person, who has value and inherent worth, who is not defective or needing to kill off parts of myself for being flawed or unacceptable. You don't make me feel mentally ill or broken; you make me realize I've been wounded and my feelings are justified. I feel hopeful for the first time in a long time after watching your videos and Dr. Peter Breggin.
This is very valuable information. I'm stopping halfway through to remark how important this is. You just said your mother was subjected to the 'silent treatment' by her parents. This is so very significant. That is nothing short of terrorism against a child. Research has proven this. The transgenerational trauma that is in your family is real. Much respect to you for discovering this and doing what you can to end it in your generation.
Hey Daniel, I was the person who asked the question. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, it's extremely helpful.
Wow! You just gave me such an epiphany.
Daniel is the real deal. The earlier you start do this work the better... but it’s something that starts with a major adverse “happening” in my experience.
I'm so glad that you exist Daniel!
Finding you Daniel is one of the highlights of my you tube experience.
My mom was an MFT and she used her schooling to manipulate and destroy my spirit growing up. She was amazing to her clients who viewed her like a God, but when it came to me she would never listen and keep telling me why I was awful because of all these mental health problems she was convinced I had. Last week I finally walked away from her and my dad.
I love listening to you:) thank you!
One of the most honest people on youtube,not trying to gloss over anything or pretend to be anything they are
Listening to yourself can also prevent slipping (back) into depression. When you don't listen to yourself, your mind/body has very few options.
I told a friend I was bullied in school and her reply was I was never bullied haha...wow !!!!
Always gold 🤙
I notice that even though I have cut ties w my parents and family of origin Bc they were so toxic, I seem to still be attracting the same types of people into my life...People who don’t approve of me and criticize me just like my parents did.
I would love to hear you talk about your preferred psychotherapy approach or theory that you found the most useful when you were a therapist? And what were the concepts you believed in the most? The way that you talk about specific topics makes me believe it might be Transactional Analysis, but I'd love to hear more.
I came into my freshman year of college with the intention of going into computer science, and absolutely hated it. In the mean time I turned to other fields of study, and your videos played a huge part in my decision to pursue psych. Thank you for your work:)
Exactly. Thats what I would say too. i would add that it creates a real distrust in me when a therapist is pretending to be listening. i mean everybody has a bad day but making me feel like i cant trust my guts that says they arent listening is just a horrible betrayal. also becoming more present in the moment is important for listening (which is also acheived through learning and most of all healing). another thing is being in good physical shape, good nutrition and enough sleep (as you mentioned) and reducing stress and always being on the internet rather than spending time in nature. i think what is also helpful as an exercise is walking down the street and looking at ppl and feeling inside of them and if you dont like them try noticing what part that you dont like bout yourself do they trigger and why and let it move through you your body and your mind until you start seeing their healthy and wonderful parts and arent pushed away so much anymore (im not saying that you should distrust your intuition to keep away from a person though, could become really dangerous for you). what is also important to start to notice is when you are interpreting something out of your expectations/own experience. Some people are so fixated on the litteral meaning of the words that they completely miss the intonation and gesture posture mimics the energy flowing between them and that everyones usage of words differ, like someone says you hoe maybe all the time when sb annoys them a little and they dont actually mean it all too bad or insulting and the other person then goes and is extremely upset because they think it was meant as an extreme insult. thats one of the hardest things i think, because you gotta know how your lens is blurred before you can filter out your own distortions. also i think releasing shame is extremely important for being able to listen to sb bc if you cant look at them, dont dare to come close, dont dare to open yourself for yourself and another person then your never going to teally listen to someone. So thanks for the video, finally someone who doesnt claim really listening is about paraphrasing everything the other person said.
It would be interesting to listen to you talk about healthy boundaries. It's so hard to keep healthy boundaries with some people and in some situations.