Making New Friends After 40 & 50 | How To Meet New People
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Love this videos as the older it seems we get the less friends we have
Very true!
Great video with valid points. I moved to Naples Florida four years ago only knowing two people. I was in sales so it was easy for me to step out of my comfort zone most of the time but you have to take the initiative and as the phrase goes the waters a little chilly in the beginning but once you're in it's warm and that's very true
Another great video with great info. When I was younger Inlet work takeover my life and neglected my social life and so I had to rebuild my network of friends and reach out to old ones. I really like your upbeat and positive outlook in your videos. Keep up the awesome work!
Thank you very much for watching!
Great video once again brother. I have noticed a lot of times it’s harder for people
to approach people on a one on one basis and a group setting really helps. I keep a small close circle but my acquaintance circle spreads out pretty easy.
Thanks for watching Tommy!
As usual great video. Love the topic and the he tips. Stay safe and healthy.
Thank you very much!
My grooming/self image is practically frumpy. My work is not very impressive and my artisty is not what one would call successful. I'm in concentrated mental health. So as much as I'd love to, I don't feel qualified to being friends with someone. Your video sounds so great and I hope someday I'll be able to match the friends I want
You are not alone I can 💯 relate to this! I’m working on myself, working out, exercising, dressing better, meditation and prayer, going for a 30-60 min walk per day, eating clean/healthy, and forcing myself to do salsa dance lessons and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Small steps, hang in there, you are not alone.
Thank you for the advice!
I'm 70. Good health. New wife 20 yrs younger, a plus. I'm retired but drive for Lyft 2 days a week. Meet so many great people of all ages. Senior men, avoid 55 plus living facilities. I relate to younger crowd. Travel outside US. My wife is Jamaican.
Great topic...definitely helpful hints as well...thank you!!!
Thank you!
You did it again John, this is a fantastic topic.
Glad you think so!
Great video John. Thanks for the tips. Well needed advice.
Thank you for watching!
Thanks for the great video. Great advice as always!
Thanks Steve!
Hi John, really liked this video very much. Thanks for the advice as always great video. Stay safe!
Thanks, you too!
Great tips John!!! Enhorabuena!!!
I would like to add something, please don’t let a different “accent” scare you... there are many people who speak more than one language eager to learn new phrases, idioms, slang etc
a friend of mine ended up speaking spanish faster than I speaking English; he had a better teacher I guess!!
He gained a new language and I gained a new friend
Greetings from Madrid 🇪🇸
Espero que este mensaje le encuentre bien y que tenga salud de hierro.
@@NewLife2028 Gracias Pablo Xavier, un abrazo fraternal.
Thank you John.
Another great video John, thanks
Thank you!
Very interesting topic, great ideas John!
Thank you very much!
Great video as always
Thank you very much!
John, this really hit home. There is much I would like to share but this format would be too public for me. So...I'll attempt to leave my comments in a way where you can draw conclusions. Because of a previous video of yours I did reach out to a friend with whom I have lost contact for over 5 years. He's a former marine and attended my wedding 5 1/2 years ago. As a result, we have been talking on the phone once a week for the last two months and I have to thank you for that.
I have always felt more comfortable talking to people when it is one on one but...it takes years before it is a friendship. Women are another story. In this case it can be, at times, instantaneous.
I have been fortunate to have had two extremely close male friends who could not be more different than me. People were quite surprised how close these two friends and I had become for various reasons. In my situation, it is extremely difficult to forge some friendships. The fear is that others may view these people as having a different identity. Another fear is , will an emotional, platonic connection morph into something else? This has been my experience. I have learned it may be wise to not approach someone and start a conversation. When I do that, the chances of a friendship is greatly increased over time until they are ready to initiate a conversation or friendship.
Whew! Sorry this became lengthy but I know I can talk to you. Thanks for listening.
Thanks for commenting Roberto! I was able to read through some of the lines. :)
thank you ... this really helped
Interesting topic and excellent tips. The lockdowns have caused so much depression due to isolation.
This is very true!
Great advice as always, John.
Thank you Will!
Social Media... Keep people apart in reality. Often. Don't they? We don't meet anyone. Just chat online online online. It's not enough for humans! You're right here! 👍🏻
Great work - positive. I joined a runnning club and started doing volunteer work.
That is awesome! Well done!
Really cool video!
Thank you!
Great and important video, John! Thanks for tackling this issue. And on an unrelated note, after your suggestion-and not to sound like a shill-I tried the TH face wash and it’s awesome! Much better than the stuff I was using. Thanks again!
Sweet! Glad you like it!
🙏
This was great. I moved to South Florida about three years ago. A couple of weeks ago I mentioned exactly this to my wife: that was not making friends here. I will follow some of these suggestions. Thank you!
Thanks for watching and commenting!
Thanks John! Unless online many of these tips are not possible at the time being😔! But some day in the future we'll be ready😄! I also believe that some of us have lost friends due to them not respecting the recommendations around not spreading covid!
Great video John, another tip is to volunteer or maybe get a small job in retail where you bound to meet new acquaintances.
Thanks! Great addition!
One of my favourite past times is talking to strangers. My wife and daughter sometimes wonder where I am and then say "Dad is probably just talking to somebody again". I have met lots of interesting people that way and way more people are glad that you started talking to them because they were too nervous to start the conversation. Just do it it will make someone else's day.
Haha! That’s awesome!
Great Tips. Yes it's hard making new friends at any age
So true! Thanks for watching!
The movie Training Day taught me that there's a difference between "friend" and "guy who knows my name" 🤔
Nice positive video, keep up the good work
Thank you!
You allways have good advice 👍🏻😀
Thank you John!
Great topic and extremely relevant to me. I moved to Australia a few years ago and social isolation has been a huge issue for me. I have tried to get involved with groups outside of work. Unfortunately, these have not delivered what I wanted; COVID hasn't helped in this regard however. I also work shifts, which means that I am 'home alone' during the week when my family at work and school. I talk to the dog a lot. Thankfully, he hasn't started to reply.....yet.
Haha! Let’s hope he doesn’t. :)
Thank you. Great topic and tips.
Glad you enjoyed it!
@@40OverFashion this was something I voted for in your survey. Much appreciated!
Growing up I've always had that one friends I'd spend 90% of my time with, and a few others that got the 10%. I met my current friend at work and I approached him after seeing first a military style hat and then a 5.11 hat. I just asked, "Are you in the military or just into tacticool". Seeing that we spoke the same "language" we have been hanging out ever since, and not just hanging out but actually doing things: road trips, camping, shopping.
Sounds awesome! Thanks for commenting!
Brilliant tip about using Meetup. I'm a keen motorcyclist who used meetup to connect with motorcyclists around my area almost 9 years ago. I now have a network of friends that I have toured Europe with, do trackdays with and meet up frequently for beers, boating, hill walking or just about whatever comes to mind! As you say, "the possibilities are endless".
Yes! That’s awesome!
🙏
Hi John, good to see, thank information. Face products
I'm very sick with COVID-19. I'm in the hospital on O2 therapy and have been binge-watching your videos which give me hope that better days are ahead. Thank you for making them.
Thanks for watching Robert! Please get better!
Thanks, I have no other choice other than one I am unwilling to make. I came off O2 today. If anyone thinks COVID is a hoax, like the flu, or not serious, you could not be more wrong.
Get well soon Brother, we need you out here 🙏
Robert ...I hope you only improve from here. I had it but was able to stay at home. My 82 yr old father had to go to the hospital with pneumonia and A fib. He came home on oxygen for awhile but able to come off and gradually has improved. Stay strong.🙏🏼🕯️
@@prestonnorris9822 thanks, I am out of the hospital and healing. I had three days where I have no recollection of the time, but there seems to be no organ damage.
Great ideas. I joined the local Bocce ball league and have met several fun people. I’m going to join an axe throwing league in the spring. This will all get a lot easier once life returns to normal.
That's awesome Keith!
On the subject of travel, I'm in my 50's. I try to travel to resorts in the Caribbean a few times a year. Solo travelers more often than not feel uncomfortable in these settings, as these settings typically cater to couples. I too felt uncomfortable, at least at first. Then, I stumbled across the secret: when standing in line, for example to check-in, or at the restaurant, or maybe at the bar, etc., and someone makes eye contact - simply ask them, "How is your holiday going?". It will always lead to a conversation. Without fail. You might receive useful info about the resort, or things to do or not do. You might be offered to join them at their table, or maybe join them on an excursion off the resort the next day. It literally is as simple as that. I've had my best solo vacations, and made new friends, by stepping outside my comfort zone and getting things started by asking one simple question.
I have been on several cruises by myself. It’s a great way to force yourself to be more social.
Yes! This is exactly what I’m talking about! Thanks for commenting!
Solo travel. Solo dinners. Solo museums, etc. are tough. I think we are wrapped up in our own heads wondering what people will think. I think John was the one who said that people are more in their own head and don't notice what is going on around them ... so likely they don't ever notice.
🙏
Living in a small Northern California town presents many challenges. I all too often avoid the small town chatter / noseyness and find myself happily going to a neighboring town where I'm essentially a 'nobody' to get in on meeting new peeps. I do meet lots of peeps that I consider acquaintances, but most if not all will never make my core inner circle of close friends. People are just to weird these days.
Great info. Keep it up my virtual friend!
Thank you!
I think as we age we unfortunately get more cynical. I've learned to do alot of things by myself. So much it's become a way of life for me. Although I'm always open to hang out with anyone that asks. Problem is politics has created a great deal of division.
I’ve gone very cynical as well. I just can’t listen to bullshit anymore. I mean I love banter and sarcasm but people are afraid to have an opinion now. Everyone’s so fake it’s suffocating
Cynical or just faster to hit the big red bullshit NOPE! button? That´s judgement and it should improve in response time.
I am commenting to help support John's channel.
Yes! Thank you very much!
Thank you 👍
You are welcome!
Hmm I like the RoC deep wrinkle repair steps. serum and cream.
Hey John, yea as I get older I'm finding it hard to make new friends. I feel isolated atm. Interaction is very important for our mental health. I have a dog and I often chat with people when I walk. I'm an introvert and find it hard to open up. Cheers for the tips tho, Dave.
Thanks for commenting Dave!
🙏
Astrological personalities have 6 introverts and 6 extroverts. Karl Jung used Astrology and basically just repackaged it as psychoanalysis. Not many accept this but, it’s a historical fact. Later, a bunch of navy wives got together and took his work and created the Myers-Briggs format, all based on the same 4x3 and 3x4 of Astrology. So, getting to the point, you should have your natal chart done well online for free and discover wh you are and then, you’ll be able to know why you’ve always done what you’ve done and where to go from there.
Great ideas. Keep them coming. Maybe do a video on the best way to set up local mens improvement groups/hangouts.
Great suggestion! Thank you!
I'm retired. I have different levels of friends.
Walking group level 3
Charity volunteering level 3
Music playing level 1 or 2
Long term friends of 10 plus years level 1
I used to rank my friends when I kept friends. It occurred to me that I was hanging around most of them out of familiarity, and no other reasons.
I think a lot of us can relate to this. Thanks for commenting!
levels....? how cool is that !!
one of your best...
Thank you very much!
Hey buddy, cruise down to Temecula. We'll have lunch lol.
Deal!
The fear of failure is a great deterent for most people, no matter how confident they may appear. Over the decades I have helped a lot of people change their lives by getting them to accept that if they fail they that they could live with the outcome. That attitude applies as much to ones social life as it does to ones Business life. At an early age I learned that patience was a major component, and genuinely asking advice took me to the top of the World in the Computer Industry. I would be regularly contacted by high placed people in the largest Enterprises, Universities and Computer Companies, because they knew that I would know someone who really knew the answer to their question. That wasn't becausr I was super smart, it was because I went to a lot of "Dog Meetings" and found a lot of genuine experts who were often shy. I just introduced these people, but first you have got to start going to the "Dog Meetings". Jjust the same as you don't need to be a qualified Psychologist to spend the time gathering the information that is helpful to others, because you first asked questions. Phil.
Unless men are willing to segregate themselves away from women and reform the Greek Symposium, the world is fucked.
Yea I tried to step outside my comfort zone. My gfs step mom for years treated her like crap, then asked me to join them for dinner. I had to say no
Say hello to people in Boston and...well...good luck with that...:) Seriously though, could you do a vid about hair loss prevention.
Yes, coming up this week on Thursday!
@@40OverFashion Great!
I started the questionnaire. I just don't prefer to use my vocal cords if I can get out of doing so. I'm spoiled by being able to edit and rewrite.
Whatever project you wind up going with, I'm sure it'll be fine. ✊
🙏
i used to have a large social circle, gawd it sucks now.
Aside from work, I don’t talk to people or even see other people. My dog is my only interaction with another living creature. I feel hopeless in meeting new people.
John, where did you get the sweater you are wearing?
It's from The Tie Bar.
Once again. Great tips. However, hanging out with younger folks. Not sure. Dependent on the age. I'm in my 50s. I went to my niece ( under 23) graduation from college party. My daughter ( under 23)was there along with other youngsters. I felt out of place so I left. It was like I was at the old folks table. And youngster's were waiting for us leave.
7:32 me at the party
Brother start a podcast please🙏🏻❤️🔥👍
Thank you! I wish there was enough time in the day.
Tis more difficult. I’ve lost most of my skiing friends over the years. I now just go on my own. Income levels, apathetic people, not interested in party/bar/alcohol life. Limits the options. I just do what I want...
Thanks for commenting! Sounds good to me!
Yes humans by nature are social creature...yet by nature I'm a introvert. They say No man is an Island yet three or more is crowd. With that said, I am good with very small scenes, not big parties.
John, another thing that prevents most men from making more friends is “toxic masculinity”. Many times when men get together, they can only talk bout sports. I like sports but it’s not the main center of my conversation with men. That’s why I always enjoy the company of women much more. I have nothing against sports- have played baseball and track. Have been a marathon runner but get bored in conversing with some men - if you bring up a subject that it’s not seen as “masculine- what ever that might mean” then you are a snowflake. Anyway, I think this subject would be interesting to discuss?
Enjoy your shows a lot!
Great point Arthur! I know exactly what you mean!
Same here.. all the talk about whiskey, cigars, sports, and the like is something I have never been interested in. I'm interested in health, investing, what does and doesn't work with women, relationships, and in the past few years spirituality, a.k.a what are we here for? Perhaps it's my age. I'm reaching retirement age and wondering why I spent all that time at the office. I always heard that life is about the journey and not the destination. Now It's hitting home.
@@richardpellis Amen to that! This is true. Priorities and topics of conversation tend to change as we mature. There should be a FB group for 40 Over Fashion Friends of Friends where people can "meet others" of like mindedness. Though virtually as most things are now, at least it would be something where people can interact.
It is extremely scary to get back out there and meet friends female friends and guy friends of interest. I am 54 years old and I want to meet someone that wants to build a friendship and let it grow into much more. Someone who knows what they want and aren't out there like their in their 20s. I've been there done that.
🙏
My first friends were way older than me. Then my friends were way younger than me. I've never had friends my own age. The worst thing a man can do is be involved with a female his age. Anyway, I just reconnected with an old friend from college that wished me a happy birthday through facebook.
🙏
i am 35 and don't have a steady job. cause me no to have a serious relationship with no lady
Hi John. A lot of useful information in todays video despite the fact that for me personally this is a sore subject. I have been stabbed in the back by supposed male "friends" enough times that I don't even bother putting the effort into male friendships anymore.I'll be polite and cordial but that's as far as it goes. I do have women friends but as far as male friends go I have way too many trust issues. Peace. : )
Thanks for commenting Kevin! I hope you can look past all that some day.
🙏
I keep talking to employees at the supermarket and an ex told me that it's sign of me having not a personal life and I am an attention seeker. But who cares.
Ha! Really?!
Everything John said, ......and pickleball
Yes!
cool stuff but doesn't work the majority of the time unfortunately!
I always was open to experiences with new people, but what ends un happening 98% of the time is that people that you meet at the gym, at work, at a venue, want to keep it there and only there. some shallow yet sympathetic acquaintances! and that doesn't lead anywhere.
I rarely managed to get people motivated to do something outside the original environment!
the majority of people do/think they have a complete life, and are not showing or are not willing to add more people to it.
Plus, it depends A LOT on your looks (I'm not concerned by that issue). If you're a handsome man, then you can do whatever you want, people interact way more and smile. when you're not, people find you creepy and at best you have your hello back or a yellow smile, and you move on!
So it may sound as a great advice but not if you are not on the same level of attractiveness of the person dispensing it.
positivity doesn't solve all the problems ;)
Everything costs money, try to do any of the things you suggested would be nice but try living in a broken down house with a blown out back and living on SS disability of $1000 a month.
I was marriade for 28 years , he left for another. But i am doing well. than him. He want to come back. I have refused. A big no
Make small talk about sports...
Nightmare!!
Gentlemen?
I’m hoping part of it has to do with «you have not because you ask not». Hello. I’m a former redheaded, Irish heritage man in Florida who taught himself Spanish of Spain. I’m an oil painter, draftsman, author of fantasy novels, and I am seeking male friendship of a nonsexual nature. I believe SEX, RELIGION and POLITICS are vital to healthy men however, whether it’s a dick, a bible or a political candidate, no one wants you to show it as an introduction and then, no one really wants you to try to shove it down their throat unless invited and into it. That said, my life is composed of those three elements and I'm quite self-satisfied about them and discussing them. You would interest me greatly IF you spoke or wanted to speak Spanish of Spain, enjoyed philosophy and Celtic history but do NOT play the bagpipes and would love to consider living in Spain and Ireland when you retire. I’m 59 and tired of pretending I’m younger. Don’t just sit there staring, contact me or give me a contact.
No sweat pants in public please. There is no uglier look for anyone.