I Lost Everything | My Talk At Menfluential
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 มี.ค. 2020
- There’s risk, fear and significant vulnerability involved with sharing my talk here with you guys, because I’m sure some of you might think less of me, or have your opinion of me change after you hear this. But, this is my truth, this is my life, and this is my story. And if it resonates with only one of you, then that’s all I really care about. I can’t control how you might feel after watching this, but either way, I owe you this. You deserve to understand where I’m coming from and some of what I’ve been through.
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I relate to your situation. When I turned 50, I was making $200k a year, putting 3 kids through college, and living my dreams. A few years later, I got sick with kidney disease. I was unable to work and lost my income, my house, my car, and my wife. I’m almost 60 now but I’m happy because I know who I am and I love my life. Thanks for sharing your story. You’re not alone. I’m happy to see you moving forward with your life. Thank you for your videos.
Thank you for sharing. In March 2019, after several years of living in a motel, I ended my rocky marriage, got an apartment, and started watching your channel. I was broke, turning 50 in December, and donating plasma so I could feed me & my daughter. All my clothes had been in storage and become moldy. You're channel helped me rebuild... Not just my wardrobe, but me. Your channel is not just about fashion, it's about presenting the best you (me). I thank you for your work. Your strength had helped me and I'm sure many others.
Thanks for your comment and thanks for sharing Eric! Keep moving forward my friend!
Eric Boes Be strong, take it day by day and stay positive. We are in the same boat and we are gonna get thru this.....
Peace be with you.
Blessings to you Eric. I’m on a similar journey in some aspects.
@Eric. Thank you for sharing. You seem to have come out of a very dark tunnel. Well done. I hope all goes well for you from here on in.
@John. I think Eric's email shows not just how important what you do is, but also how important you are to a lot of people. The comments I am reading from various people tells me I have subscribed to a family rather then just a channel. Thank you to you John and all the people who have commented and/or shared.
I’m 40 have 3 kids under 7 years old . I’m going through some very hard times financially and with my wife . This video and comments just pulled me out of my depression gave me strength to never give up. God bless you and thank you for your videos! They are awesome .
Good luck man. All the best.
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So essentially life is a bitch and then you die' not that original I am afraid! how about money does not make you happy it does not even come close
Just keep going…sometimes fake it til you make it. The hard times are temporary if you’re committed to moving in the right direction and living with intention. Feeling crap…have a couple of beers one night, but the next day; best foot forward! You’ll be ok !
Hey brother I’ve been where you are and maybe worse…I lost everything in a 10 year period…my health…my mother and father in-law…my sister…my uncles…my brother in laws…my wife…and my career of nearly 30 years! I should be crushed and laying in bed depressed…but I am grateful God provided me with two young kids that give me my purpose to live and thrive. I have opened my mind like never before and a paradigm shift has been occurring and it has put me in a path to recoup my life in every way! If you ain’t dead you can crush it…especially if you’re living in the Western world…you can do it…don’t ever give up! God bless you! 🙏✌️👍
“What defines someone as a ‘man’ should not be the clothes they wear or how deep their voice is. It should be the content of his character, his strength in the face of overwhelming adversity, and his ability to still love and help others when the world has turned its back on him.” - Karamo Brown
This is brilliant....thanks!
A strong man, picks himself up after being knocked down, not someone who has never been down. Stay strong brother.
Jim O negative. What would you do with $500 large???
I went through horrible situations; I know the suffering: never consider suicide as a solution.
Being alive is a victory already.
💫👣💫
Bravo! I started over at 47... Colonel Sanders started his "chicken business" at 65 with his $105 social security check...I use him as an encouragement... life is hard and life is GOOD! Vulnerability is a key to an intimate life. May God bless you and keep you!
Thank you!
You are the man, John! I salute you! I am 54, I still haven’t figured out my life yet. No wife, no children, no house, no car, no savings and working as salesman in a clothing shop living from pay check to pay check for the whole of my adult life! The past 20-25 years I’ve thought about “ending it all” but I persevered and stayed strong and positive. I survived thus far. Now after watching this I told myself I have a small goal to achieve. And that is to someday hopefully to go to US to get to meet you in person and thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Me too.. But I'm a female.. 47,/48 in January.. Still struggling..but different situation than yours.. Bit still in zero ground.
I'm 42, with 5 grown kids and I lost everything due to my divorce. I also was making 6 figure income during my marriage. I literally now have nothing. I also at one point stayed with my xwife. It's part of life. I get on my knees and pray. The real test will be during this economic depression we are about to enter and hope there is no internet disruption. I will be praying. Keep up the true inspirations you provide to us.
Thank you Martin! Keep going..one foot in front of the other my friend!
Society does not care about middle age white men. They mock our struggles and laugh at our suicides. Accept this fact. And your success? That will be met with scorn and condemnation as a result of your inherent "privileges" being the only reason for these achievements. The only women that are capable of truly loving you are your mothers, sisters and daughters. Swallow the Red Pill my friend.....it goes down HARD.....but the World will suddenly start making sense.
Do not be angry with yourself. Dig deep into MGTOW, but do not discuss it in the real World.
Dude, sorry I HAVE BEEN THERE! Good for getting down and praying and I did that a lot! Just now keep on grinding. I bought a condo last year and remodeled it. I was broke, child support kicking my ass, dealing with a bitter ex wife who called the police and child protective services, credit score in the 500's, almost homeless. Keep fighting and you will come back stronger!! And now my youngest son lives with me, It will get better.
@@WilliamBarryRoberts This line of thinking keeps you angry and resentful - having been busted broke by a divorce and still recovering now; I would recommend you let that shit go and focus on how YOU can do better , not how THEY put you there. I really worry about a world where we seem to have a "they" to blame and not look inwards for improvement. The longer you hold onto this thinking the heavier it gets and the more miserable you will be - if not now then certainly down the road. I don't know you personally and how you came to think this way but things only got better for me when I stopped worrying about "who" to blame and put my efforts into getting past the bitterness and self destructive habits and self-talk.This is just my opinion, you are welcome to yours.
I hit rock bottom 3 times in my life. Surviving my cancer in my 20’s, my mom died of cancer and I almost got a divorce with my wife and kid. I survived all of them and now living happily with my family.
Thank You Sir. My son was killed a couple years ago... The wife decided to leave a couple months ago... I'm 55 and have built a couple successful businesses...that's all gone now. Tough to get out of bed most days. But I have the best, most annoying friends who won't let me give up. I read many of the comments below and I can't say it better than that. You are an inspiration. I enjoy your content, I needed your message today. To those of you who have kids remember, You only have 18 summers with them. Thanks again. To your success!
Thanks for commenting David! Annoying friends are the best friends. I'm glad you're here.
I will watch your channel in a different light keep going keep living you made me think ,there’s stuff I won’t to do ,may do them now I’m 64 cheers
God bless you man... stay strong.
It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to start this...so here goes.
Before I stumbled across your channel, I was going through depression and didn't know it. I thought no one in the world outside of my coworkers, even knew I was there. Long story short, your channel was a part of my climbing out of my deep hole. I feel better, in part, to you & your channel. I applaud you my friend! I seriously hope you read this...You are doing a great job! You DAMN sure helped me! Keep grinding Brother! I got your back!! It takes a man to admit he failed but it takes a REAL MAN to get up and get back at it!
Peace
You are a man of integrity and honour and know your self worth. Yes it's ok to not have all the answers at once ...yes..life is a winding path . Often we don't know and cannot see what lies ahead even with the most wonderful plans in place. You are a man of good character. Credible, vulnerable , honest and generous in spirit. You recognize and are getting to know yourself..your journey. Many thanks for sharing with us all out here dear friend of ours. Keep going as you say. Best wishes .
@@biggertom1234 whenever I get frustrated by stuff, my hubby always reminds me that life is long and for the living... We go through stuff so we can learn and grow.... and I just heard those words again from you! Stay strong! We have your back!
Ain't that the Truth 🤜🤛 Amen 🙏
John, I am 63 years old and have spent my life as a police officer, never having to open my closet door and say, "Well, what should I wear today". But about 18 months ago I decided that when I wasn't in uniform I would dress with some fashion sense but didn't know where to start. Then I stumbled onto your channel. You are my go to. I follow Aaron and Antonio and others, but I use your channel to gage that fine line of dressing "my age" beyond velcro strap tennis shoes and pant waists up to my armpits. I was already impressed with you from a slyle perspective...but this video elevated you, in my opinion, to a "good human being" perspective. There was a point in my life where I lost everything - My wife left me, I was laid off from my job, I was evicted from the home I was sharing and ALL my personal belongings were confiscated and sold at auction to pay for back rent. I'm 6'5" tall and slept in my car...a 1967 Austin Healey Sprite! Significant milestone in my life to say the least but I'm a better man for it. Congratulations on pulling yourself up. No one understands what it takes to do that unless you have been there. Thanks for your content on your channel. You have been a style inspiration for me and now a personal inspiration as well. Continue the great work.
Thanks for your comment Tim! We never know how other people are struggling or the battles they're fighting. I appreciate your comment and I'm glad you're here!
Tim, and with your reply, you have shown me that even when things are bad, there is a way through but takes focus and perseverance.......thanks for helping the "virus" of hope spread.....
I am a 62years old man and my jod was also police officer.I divorced at my 48.My ex-wife gave me, one month ,to left my home. I've took my old fashion clothes and i left my home. Difficult momments....i was in depression for a long time,i had a problem with my heart..but i survived for two reasons.The first one was ,my sister ,who gave me a room to stay and more other facilities and the second was, when God send to me ,two REAL friends,who gave me courage...to go on.My sister helped me to make savings and also gave to me, the first money to bye a small flat. I've bought a new cloths..i ve changed my life..i ve bought a new car and i had after 20 years a new girlfriend.
My life is good now ..i can't complain.. but this divorse left to me a heart problem to remember for life time, this tragedy!
Thanks God...i am still alive and healthy ,as it is possible.
But..deep into my heart..i will never forget about this unfair bitter situation,who destroyed me,at the first years..
Keep Going and stay strong my friends...
Greetings from Greece!
God bless you !
You got my attention when you mention your Austin healey sprite. Do you still have it. Credit to the healey also.
Good on you, may each and every day be better for you. As an alcoholic who is now 3.5 years dry and at age 59 I am starting my new journey to God knows where, and believe me it is not easy but day by day we all get better with experience and perseverance .
55 years old. I needed to hear this and pick myself up. Those guys saved your life. You very well might have saved mine. Respect from Jamaica.
Thanks for commenting my friend! I appreciate the kind words and I'm glad you're here! One foot in front of the other, every day. Just keep moving forward.
I'm over 50, the pandemic killed my trade in the granite industry, I spent a year living with my 83 year old mother to keep her safe last year, my bank account is gone, but I am now working on recording and releasing my rock music on all platforms this summer. Luckily I am really good. Ha. Keep going everyone. Hope you are much better now John.
I divorced in 07, bankrupt and living with my parents. I let my ex have the house and everything in it, for my daughters needs. I knew I could start over and my girls are my #1 priority. Now, I have everything back, and both daughters are in college. Couldn’t be more proud! Thankfully I’ve always had a decent job and was able to give them a lot. Now I’m 48, make $82,000 a year and it’s all mine! But I still help both girls in college. The have new jeeps and are doing great. My life was rough for a while, but my girls kept me going strong. I found Mtn biking here in SE Michigan and that I think saved my life. I definitely would have ended up jail or dead cause of going to the bar. Said to myself, gotta do something else and bought a Mtn bike. Now I have 4 bikes and buy 1-2 every year! Gotta have the best. I feel your pain, hope you continue to do well! Cheers from Mi. 👊🏼
Everyone has been at “zero” some point in their life, thank you for sharing your story.
Brotha…I feel you. 6 years ago, I met the love of my life. After years of dating, I knew she was above the rest and we got along the best. Little did I know she was an alcoholic. And a rough drunk. All my life I wanted a family and kiddos and I thought this was the key. After 3 years of dating and moving in together, I moved out taking the cloths on back and my Jeep. I lost everything. I was in a dark place for a while but God is good and now at 49, I rebuilt my life with a ton of effort. Stay up my man👊🏽
Wow man, I am overwhelmed with emotions right now. Sitting at work, crying at my desk. I typically start my day listening/watching a couple youtube videos, yours included. I did not expect this today. My mom passed away in August of 2020. 11 years ago I had sold my townhouse and had a very short closing period and ended up at 33 moving back home to the parents house until I found a house I wanted. Well, my parents health turned south and I ended buying 1/3 of the family home and staying there to help take care of them since I was single and not really interested in anything but... My dad passed away a couple years ago. Last year I met an amazing woman, we deeply love each other which is pretty amazing. Shortly after my mum died I had a huge financial hit and also had to do a few unexpected repair to the house, plumbing issue and I had to replumb basically the whole house to "meet code" since the house is about 30 years old. So that all chewed up my savings and just found out that my sister who decided to walk away from the family 28 years ago and we haven't seen her since is going to contest the will which could tie us up for up to a year or more... I turn 45 in a couple weeks. I'm damn near broke. I haven't been feeling well lately and I just found out yesterday that I have cancer. I haven't told my girlfriend yet and I don't know how to. I honestly sat in my car when I got to work this morning and contemplated suicide, very seriously thought about it. I got a text from my girlfriend of a picture of her and my dog telling me they love me. Then I clicked on this video. Maybe things aren't as bad as I was thinking they are. Maybe I will get through this. I don't know how yet but maybe I'll figure it out. Thank you John.
Thanks for sharing! You can and will get through it... one step at a time. Don't give up. It gets better.
How are you now 😢
I avoided watching this video. I knew I was gonna relate. Great message and never stop. I too lost everything, I mean everything. No $200. The thought of ending everything came up often. That was 6 years ago. Today I make a 6 figure income, I pay 100% of my sons College expenses and that’s honestly what kept me going. Loving my children and wanting them to have things better. THANK YOU. This is kinda that club you don’t wanna be part of. Some day I will help those that are struggling. Help them get back on their feet.
Marriage is exspensive and divource is life threatening. Being single is easy to maintain but loneliness can be a bitch. Stay strong, live within or beneaath your means.
Very true! Thanks for commenting!
Roland Boss What is the solution to the single dilemma?
@@Dave-jv3th 🤔 a pet and causal dating. I am sure you be alright. Stay strong bro.
Loneliness is a killer..I am alone and sexless age 57 even in Thailand bad heart bad heart valve bad hearing
This video comes at the right time. Things are very uncertain, no matter who you are. People gotta stick together.
Thanks for sharing your story. It's the same case for many who seem 'successful' from the outside.
Respect to YOU for being brave and an inspiration at this time.
Thank you!
I am 67 years old and i have been influenced by your videos....and now i have a renewed spirit and i love to dress with confidence. THANK YOU
In 2017 and within 4 months I lost my job, my girlfriend broke up with me after I helped her get through a year of unemployment, and then I got a herniated disc and stayed lying in bed for 3 months with unbelievable pain and without a penny in my pockets. Best lesson of my life. Stay strong!
Great message! I just discovered your channel last week and really liked the fashion advice because I need a big change in my life. I'm literally where you are now. Here's my story:
I was 46 years old, sold everything I had and moved to Czech Republic to live my dream. I knew it would be a long and rough process to live there as a foreigner. Two years later, I was unemployed (coronavirus), broke, homeless and with no legal way to remain in the country. I lost everything there...my flat, my girlfriend, my furnishings. I borrowed enough money from my son for a flight and I came back to the U.S. three weeks ago with two suitcases and $3 dollars to my name. I'm 48 years old sharing a room in my father and my aunts house. I've got nothing!
So yeah, your message resonated with at least one.
It gets better my friend. Keep moving forward!
I’m 48 year old woman. After 23 years of marriage I now live in a domestic violence refuge in London. I also lost everything. I left with literally a gown and slippers. I had nothing. Tomorrow I am going to be moved to a hostel. I’m terrified of what that will bring. It’s been 2 years I’ve been trying to get a home for me and my sons. No joy whatsoever. Everything I tried failed All I want is a safe place to start again. nothing. One thing I can say through all the trauma I have been through is that HOPE is one thing that keeps you moving and
Where there’s a Will there will be a way
❤️🙏
Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, so everyone needs to answer this question every morning ... What will I do today to improve my life?
I'm amazed to read the other posts on here. We never hear of how divorce affects men. This is an eye opener.
We all have gone through things.....but these things we go through are there to make us stronger!
All I can say, is it took balls to do this video. Men usually don't get personal and tell our failures, but we all have them. To hear you tell about your life just made me want to listen to you more. I was homeless when my wife and I met. I owned a gym that really was just barely making money. I had just went through a divorce and the only place I had was my gym, so I lived in a back storage room. So, I know where your coming from. Kudos to you for being honest and telling your story.
I have gone through a very similar situation, and one thing that I learned is that I should not be afraid to ask for help. I kept my situation hidden from friends and family until it was just too late. Once I let them in to the truth, so many people asked me what I could do to help and were almost upset that I had not come to them sooner. Once I opened myself to receiving help, it changed my life dramatically for the better. Never underestimate peoples desire to help others.
Thank you for sharing Steven!
Fashion is fun, but *this* is what life is about. Thank you!! I’m 52 and starting over as well. You’re not alone.
44, Married at 27, divorced at 31 been very unlucky with relationships since . Been kicked to the dirty side of the road more times I can remember, re-invented myself more times than Madonna. But as men, we just have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off But that process doesn't have to be alone "I had to rely on other men" to help me on the way, I dread to think where I would be now without the help and honesty of the men that I consider Friends, who tell me if I'm doing good or to buck my ideas up. Thanks for your honesty, I think more of you now, not less.
Thank you very much for commenting and sharing!
This kind of vulnerability at this time is exactly what we need. I'm 51, facing the same issues, starting on my third career. Starting all over again. More wisdom is on my side this time
BTDT, divorced and bankrupt and unemployed at 39. New job 1000 miles away from my young children. Drove the worlds smallest uhaul trailer with what was left of my possessions. Lucked out into a furnished condo cheap. Two years later , salesman of the year... Now 64, Own two houses, threes cars and put my kids through college on my own. Active and started watching you since I'm not exactly a fashion plate. 5'8 200 lb Italian...... Losing weight and watching you... now even more.. I'd rather watch someone who has rebuilt vs someone who has not gone through what you have.
Thank you Greg!
Thank you so much! I am 50 and starting all over from scratch! I found this channel by "accident" cause I'm changing careers and want to dress well. Your story and your mission are a blessing to me because I'm inspired to get up and try one more time.
Self-respect is a virtue you can only bestow upon yourself, power to you my friend and thanks for keeping it real.
I have been an entrepreneur my entire life and lost and gained so many times, more losses than wins, finding drive after failure is the true testament of character. Someone i respect once told me " when you hit rock bottom the only direction left is up " if a year ago everything was roses you may not have forced the steps to create this channel, this is honest, transparent and open and new respect for you. Don't let anyone or anything get in your way of dreams and goals. 🙏👊💪
Thank you very much Joe! I appreciate your comment!
This has to be the most raw and sincere clip I’ve ever listened to. You’ve managed to slow down the world just enough to knock some sense into it. Thank you for adding life for the breaths we take and sharing your story. We all love you like a nicely fitted shirt! Best of luck and continued success.
Thank you very much!
John, I am so humbled for you to share your journey with all of the world to know. I was forced from a job I loved after 23.5 years, then was diagnosed with cancer. I almost lost everything I had worked so hard for. Now cancer free for 8 years, life is still challenging because I have no desire to retire and putter around. In reality few companies want to hire older guys even if they have a wealth of experience. So I take each day at a time and do the best I can. Your story and words are inspirational. You are awesome. If you ever get to SLC, please let me take you to dinner or lunch. Continue your journey. Lift your head high, and walk with honor. Knowing what I have learned about you only deepens the respect I have for you. I'm sure other of your subscribers with concur. Best regards, John Yes, you and I share the same first name.
It took a lot of courage to share your story.
You get a standing ovation in my heart.
Hey Jon, I watch regularly, comment rarely, but this one couldn't pass without chiming in. As a fellow 50 year old dude who's making some major shifts in my life, I have to say that this speech resonated with me. Thanks for sharing your story, it's never wrong to share how you are feeling. I truly believe that if people watch this, you'll save some lives. Congratulations on your success and on having the courage to keep moving forward. Much love, my friend.
Thank you very much for your comment!
I'm 66 years old and until recently was deeper down than you could know. I'm sorry, but your story tells of a little bad luck and good on you for climbing out...but you appear to be milking your hard luck story - you have no idea .....
Before hearing your sad sad story I listened to you advising on how best to present to a woman, grooming, dress, pride in appearance, good manners etc. Next, you sniffed your way through your story of hard luck. I am not afraid to show my emotions in a crowd, to strangers, to friends.
I have cried many times whilst talking of my life - but your constant disgusting sniffing whilst making your speech was beyond the pale and from you who advise others on appropriate behaviour etc.
Pause for a second, take out a clean handkerchief or tissue and blow your godamned nose - even if you have to do it several times whilst talking is preferable to subjecting your listeners to your constant sniffing and sniveling. You demonstrated a complete lack of class and I believe you probably even sniffed more than you needed to believing it would milk the sympathies of the crowd. It seemed to work....so uninspiring.
@@40OverFashion ignore this Fred guy, John. What a ridiculous thing to say .. ☝️
As an estate planning lawyer I know all to well that there is no guarantee anyone will get a tomorrow. Great words of wisdom and I’m sure this was a tough speech to give. Keep up the great content and know your impact on others may reach beyond what you think. I wish you the greatest success in the future!
This was the realest it could ever get. Most people tell their stories when they've gone past the hurdles. What makes your story more real, and relatable with, you are telling it while the sh!+ is still happening in your life. Thank you for being vulnerable. I am 42 at the moment, with 3 kids, have lost my job, and have to move back to my mother's house.
I am also a professional speaker, and the most difficult thing to do is to get my head right, fix my smile, and get ready to get on stage to inspire people. I respect you!
Thank you very much!
I admire you so much more today! Thank you for the insight. I would truly love to meet you.
Hey Jon,
Just wanted to say that you are one of my favorites TH-camrs and of all your excellent videos, this one is my favorite!
Congratulations on all your success and keep up the excellent work! Thank you and best wishes!!!
Thank you!
That took a TON of strength to open up like that John. Build on and refer back to that moment of strength and courage any time you doubt yourself and feel that depression coming back. Remember John....you are loved! Much respect!
Thank you Chris!
Im delighted to her things are getting back on track. You now have the secret - Believe in yourself , stay strong,be persistent - you always find the people you can trust when times are at their worst.Keep doing what your doing and if it isn't broke - don't fix it, All the best.
Okay....this kind of blew my mind. The life situation you talked about is essentially mine 5 years ago, and still is to some degree today. I had lost even my car, and was riding around on a free rusted old bike that someone on the local Craigslist said I could have if I picked it up. I'll be 57 in July. But I've been working hard and doing LOTS of menial jobs. Amazing how the money...even from menial work, adds up. I've been going to the gym and have been working on my conditioning as well, it helps! The thing that blew my mind though, was that when I would tune into your channel, I would always say to myself..." now THERE is a guy that has it all together." If I would have chosen one guy from all the style channels that really had his game of life on point, I would have picked you, John. You and Antonio, I would say. The style channels helped me to strive to put together a wardrobe, and taught me how to dress properly. All of that gave me an positive sense of self, and a degree of control, as it gave me something to focus on. Ahhh, John....you're a strong man. To put together and maintain a site and produce content while in the middle of that life situation....wow. Thank you for that video. That may have been more inspiring than all the videos about v-necks and double monks. Cheers my friend. Wishing you the best, and a continued forward momentum.
Thanks for sharing Anthony!
John, thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story. I would never have guessed you were struggling since the quality of your content has never wavered. You have helped me think about my own situation and realize if I am lucky, I may still have a lot of life left to live.
Thanks for your comment David!
What a powerful message!!! Kudos for the courage to share it not only at menfluential, in front of that audience, but also here with us. You need never worry about what people may think of you because you have just proven your strength and your ability to deal with just about anything. You were already high in my esteem because of the quality content of your channel and now you are even higher because of what I have just witnessed - your strength!!! Thank you for being here and being your true self.
Thank you very much for your comment!
Bob, if you get this, email me.
I just discovered you tonight as I sit back and listened to you fashion advice which I love . I came across this video and I struck me hard . Your opening statement is what grabbed me . I am a 2 time cancer survivor . I have looked at death in the face . I know what it is like to be there . Now I see this video and it has re kindled the flame that I had the my surroundings have tried to extinguish . No more . At 54 you reignited my zest for life . I cant thank you enough !
Standing ovation! Appreciate your comment!
John, going thru divorce is a shitty feeling. I admire you for putting out these videos even when you were going thru all this shit. It’s extremely difficult to put yourself together during this type of situations and still do this for your subscribers. Much respect...
Hard times teaches best lessons.
Ur fellow for over 2years but only comment rarely.
U are already an inspiration to me.
Thank you for being here my friend!
If one of my brothers is down, I am down in a small part. If his marriage is falling to pieces, and the creditors are moving in, and the wine he once loved tastes of ash, then I too, in a part of me, am smaller. That thing we call success is not measured in the clothing, the cars, and the wealth, but in the man who gets back up. He builds himself up as he would a home, a community, and a country. And most importantly, his strength is adaptation and honesty.
May you always have the strength to get back up! Thanks, for sharing your story. I like your attitude. It's a good one.
My father taught me to adapt, and never quit. He taught me to be honest, and work hard for what I believe in. He also taught me that every bad day is just a day. So, if you only get one thing right out of a hundred, you got that one thing right, and that is better than if it were for free. It is hard to get up sometimes. But it is worse to stay in bed.
Cool video.
Thank you very much David! I really enjoyed reading that. Needed to hear it.
The details may differ, but I have a similar story, same timeline. My life collapsed at 50; still rebuilding at 55. Because I'm no stranger to those same dark thoughts, I really appreciate your candor. It helps.
I stumbled on your site because I’m 46 and have almost zero fashion sense. I instantly became enamored with your content (and have even bought some of the products-another rarity!). I appreciate you and the content you make. You influence a lot of people who are all trying to make our lives better. Thank you.
I know this is older... Thank you. Started watching you A WEEK ago. This hit home the most of all of them. Thank you for sharing! Aaron was a motivator to help me move on from a bad marriage and you have helped fill the spots Aaron hasn't.
Thank you very much John!
Nothing in life is permanent. Choosing, in our darkest hour, to move forward takes bravery and oftentimes a radically new perspective and routine. Glad you're still among us, John. Thanks for your helpful videos.
Thank you for this! I lost my job last year 2 weeks before my 49th Birthday. I had plans of things I wanted to do and travel to visit friends. All of that was wiped out in one day. Luckily I found a job within two weeks but my income is a lot lower now and all my money goes to bills. Here I am on my way to fifty eking my life day by day. There are days (and nights) of depression but I know it will pass. Your videos are an inspiration to me and have gotten me motivated to do channel myself but about cooking and crafts. Thanks again for this, I was in a bad spot and you helped me forget about that and I realize I am not alone.
Cheers!
Thank you for putting this out I don't know why I found this I wasn't looking for it, it popped up as a channel for me to watch however this story is absolutely talking about me right now at this point of my life I am 42 and this morning I felt like I did not want to go on anymore going through divorce lost my business I lost my house lost everything but my sanity but after watching what you just said my thoughts have changed forever and I am going to get through this thank you so much for posting this you just don't know how you have touched lives especially mine you are great and there's nothing but great things in the future for you thanks brother!!
No, my appreciation went up not down. As long as people dont dwell in the past but remain fixed in the present I get it.
THIS is your best video yet. Raw and honest. Much love to you man.
AGREED !
This authenticity and unvarnished truth is SO helpful and encouraging. "Just keep going" It is so good to see these men who came along side and helped when you were down.
This really got to me. I am a two time cancer survivor and I just discovered I have it again and will be going through yet another surgery within the next couple of weeks. I realized somewhere along the way that one night I'm going to laydown and I'm never going to have another day so I've tried changing. It has devastated my finances my family just everything. There is so much I could say but everyone has his or her on difficulties. I just appreciate what you do and the fact you are not afraid to put it out there. Thank you
Thank you Michael! One foot in front of the other my friend.
I don't have it all figured myself. I'm also 50 and had many ups and downs in my life.
Ups were living in a luxury highrise downtown condo to a basement apartment.
At one point I cried losing it all and couldn't put my daughter through college.
I am so proud that she did it on her own and now she is an attorney.
Thanks for commenting my friend!
John, it takes a lot of courage and a willingness to be vulnerable to share your story in such a public venue. It’s counter to just about every way were conditioned in life to do such a thing. I wish you continued and much success as you go forward with your TH-cam channel in addition to that God’s blessings!
Thank you, John. You help people; you help me. You’re a great success. I’m 57 and still trying to figure out what’s next.
Hey Jon...I'm so impressed with your doing this. I can relate. I was in the same boat after my last relationship fell apart. I was blindsided by my partner leaving out of nowhere! I was recovering from cancer treatment at the time and very depressed, and apparently, after nine years of us being together he decided he didn't want to do "for better or worse", and left. I lost everything too. No job, because I was laid off after getting sick, and had used up all my savings...lost everything. I was 55 at the time.
I'm only just getting my life back together after almost ten years of struggling. Now I work as a peer counselor for people going b through mental health crisis, trying to find my own place to live (in NYC that's no joke), and trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.
You inspire me. I used your videos to get me out of the slump I was in. Started taking you fashion advice, and started feeling better as I presented myself more confidently.
Thank you for what you do, and who you are.
Thank you for sharing! I'm glad you're here!
Really nice talk and it took a lot of courage to stand in front of all that people and share your heart and life with strangers. I feel what are you going through, I have the same blessing of passing through a similar experience in my life. To make it short 4 year in war (Iraq, Afghanistan) , lost everything, work, wife, health, financial stability , etc. I was broke and slept under a bridge for a year and a half and literally ate from trashcans cause I was to proud to beg. Hang in there follow your heart and you’ll see things do get better. I had gain everything that I lost back two fold and better. Keep the faith and always remember this too shall pass it is a blessings in disguise to allows us to grow internally and spiritually. My heart is with you and I’ll see you at the end of the path. This is not a path for material gain it is more important than that, your are in the path of self discovery and believe me everything is so much sweeter at the end, because you are going to have something not too many people have, you will find yourself.
Thank you very much for your comment and for sharing some of your own story. Much love and respect my friend!
Literally the best TH-cam video I've seen this year. Needed to hear this more than ever.
Thank you Simon!
Heart wrenching and uplifting words. Thanks for opening up. You never know where you'll find strength, many never do.
Thank you for sharing your story. As men we find it difficult to be vulnerable and reach out to other men for support. Often we believe we need to walk this road alone, but the truth is we need to do this as a community of men helping, supporting and encouraging one another. Your sharing is a sign of courage and bravery not weakness.
Great video John. Especially now with all the uncertainty and job loss. Amazing how you were able to mask what was going on in your life and seem so together. Keep on, my man.
Jon, thank you for sharing your amazing story. I am just so glad that you never gave up. I'm 52 and thanks to your channel I have been able to make some better choices of what I pick to wear. I 've learned so much and continue to, by watching your videos. Keep them videos coming. Thank you my brother !
Thank you for sharing, being authentic is admirable as we all go through stuff. How you bounce back from adversity says a lot about your character.
Came across your channel a couple of weeks ago and this video came up on my recommended, At the age of 41 and starting over with very very little. Having had a great job and started a business a couple of years ago and lost them both to my own depression and self sabotage, I tried to take my own life about six months ago and thinking a lot about not living the life that I wanted when I was younger, this video has gave me some REAL INSPIRATION and hope and courage to reinvent myself and become my best self in all ascpets of my life.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
My pleasure! Appreciate your comment, thanks for sharing!
Thanks for sharing brother. Keep making content that resonates with us the middle age that know exactly what your going through.
Thanks John, quite a story and a couple of fortunate backstops saw you through. Appreciate your openness, and the Menfluencial conference appreciated it too. Not often we see this openness, it will help you as well as others. Grace and good grace to others, may it long continue.
Thanks for the message and sharing some deep stuff with us. I have battled depression for a few years. In April I started working on myself, walking and losing weight. I'm now in need of a new wardrobe and your channel is helping me figure that out. Thanks so much for fighting that depression. Best of luck with the channel!
I needed this brother. Every time I think that my problems in life is an isolated case that only I have but it is good to know and reassuring that someone else experienced the same thing and was able to pull through. So therefore I know I will make it through. Thank you brother.
Life is a struggle, everyday is a fight. Sometimes easier, sometimes harder. You sir, are a fighter. I salute You !
I've been there....42 and my marriage ended. Feeling desperately alone but with good people, amazing family and a strong desire to get back on my feet I do believe that I can do it. Thank you for sharing John. A brave video.
Thank you so much for posting this and all of your other content. I'm 48 years old, living with depression and going through divorce. My life has felt like it's vanishing down a black hole. Your content has helped me motivate myself - every day I remind myself to focus on the things I can do to influence my situation: exercise, eat well, look after my kids, look my best, do the best I can at work, look out for my friends. My life may feel like it's going down the drain, but it didn't today and if I keep those things up, it won't tomorrow. Provided I can keep this up, all the other crap will work itself out eventually. Thanks again, you have been truly inspirational.
Thank-you so much for this video. Being honest and vulnerable in your life gives so much credibility to you and your channel that I enjoy so much. You reminded this 53 year old of a number of things: It is never to late to reinvent yourself, being kind to others is critical, don't judge others less fortunate than you - you don't know their story and rewards often go to those who are willing to take risks. I look forward to more videos to come - you are one of the few channels I subscribe to!
I appreciate that Thomas! I'm glad you're here my friend!
Thank you for sharing some very personal details of your life John. I love your channel and have gained so much from listening to you. I appreciate your honesty and humbleness. I wish you every success.....continue to move forward and I look forward to many more of your videos. Sending you love and support from Australia.
At age 50 I was not far removed from your story; I had the benefit of a supportive wife and wonderful children. I just turned 62 and am *finally* feeling like things are falling into place.
Never stop. You can always start over. Never quit. Don't give up. These may seem to be trite sayings, but they're incredibly true.
By the way: My wife VERY MUCH appreciates how much I've upped my fashion game over the past 18 months, and you have a big part in that.
THANK YOU.
Thank you!
I applaud you for this...Thank You. What you shared at Menfluential and here on TH-cam will help and be the encouragement so many men need. I honor your courage and tenacity and wishing nothing but the best for you here on out 👍🏿
Wow. Holy shit...wow - our stories are damn near identical, even the $500k in trust fund. Thankfully never had to stay with my ex wife though. I'm 50 in 4 months and have been going thru incredible mental anguish about starting over. Funny when I saw Aaron on stage. I watch alpham to be inspired and re-learn how to take ownership of my life. So happy for your progress! It's a struggle for real. I also started a channel, same as you, to find "something" to lock onto and keep going every day, and not fall apart. Definitely earned my lifetime sub and whatever I can do to encourage you while I grow as well. Best TH-cam video I've seen. So impressed by you - never give up!!!
Take this opportunity to reinvent yourself. You can and will rebuild. Money: We make it, we spend it. There are no limitations just temporary barriers. Much respect from San Antonio, TX.
I went through something very similar when I was in my late 30s. I was recently divorced, sleeping on my sister’s couch, and wondering how I was going to make my car payment. I went to a bar for my 40th birthday and there I met my future wife. Fast forward 10 years and I’m in a much better place.
Thanks for posting this. I was very moved and related so much to it.
Thank you Brian!
I had just started my restaurant and was making waves in the industry, then as 50 people were walking into my venue for a function, I had a stroke, a year later as I was just getting back into work my ex said "You aren't getting better fast enough and I can't handle that." She gave me three days to move out while she and my daughter stayed at her mom's.
Four years later and I'm just starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Man this has been hard!
That’s rough my friend. One foot in front of the next.
This is great stuff mate. Bless you, and your friends who got you through (and your ex!).
Great to see guys helping each other out, and seeing examples of good strong men in this world of so-called "toxic masculinity".
This right here is "healthy masculinity".
Thanks for sharing, and for showing your humility.
Cheers
Thank you very much Bruce!
I thank you so much for sharing this. I needed this now more than ever. My story in short, I sold my home, I moved back in with my parents in 2016 to help with my mother's care (she had terminal cancer) and to help with my brother (multiply disabled), and also to pay off a mountain of debt. I saw my mom through her journey and worked full-time AND went to school. She left us/passed 2019, I proceeded to wrack up debt again to the tune of 50k for repairs on the house I bought to move out to and random stuff - deep depression. I am 38 and I feel like a failure, like I let everyone down...but you showed me that I CAN come back, Its never too late...So, now, it's time to pick myself up and pay off this debt.
One penny, one nickel, one dollar at a time.
And you will. I believe we all can achieve great things. God bless my friend.
Thank you for sharing this very honest and heart-felt speech, good luck to you and all you do.
I know what it's like to give up EVERYTHING and start again from scratch luckily for me I had a beautiful woman show up on my doorstep to show me a better way and TOGETHER we're rocking our way through our 50's!!
Hang in there and remember, it'll be alright in the end and if it's not.. It's NOT the end!
Thanks for sharing. Your story was deeply moving, and so very real. I've recently went through something similar, and it makes me feel like I'm not alone.
I literally just commented on Antonio’s video of the conference. You should read it. You are incredibly strong and your words and story are incredibly uplifting and empowering to the rest of us. We think so much MORE of you, if that is even possible. Good for you; and for us being blessed enough for you to open yourself up to us in this way. You have and will continue to have a positive impact on us. We can’t always change how treacherous the path is in front of us; but the point is to get through and come out on the other side. You’ve shown us we can all do that.
Thank you very much!
Hey buddy... I've been MIA. So good to see ya back here. I encourage you with your openness. I think everyone can learn a lesson from this. Vulnerability is under rated.
And... Standing ovation!
People NEED good friends.
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing. Life is hard, no matter how bright it may seem for others at a distance the truth a person is living is never what it seems. I was once at a point where I was for the first time ever, to be debt free. Then I lost my job. It seemed like everything that could go wrong went wrong. After losing my job, my daughter was in a car accident, my son who is disabled got very sick and was in ICU for 2 months, and my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.
I would go on many interviews but just couldn't get hired with any company. My severance money went a lot faster then expected. I had never felt so depressed in my life. I had moments where I thought about checking out on life all together. I was 1 month away from losing my house which would have really pushed me over the edge cause I take such pride in providing for my family.
My wife being the amazing woman she is, advised me to apply for a state government job. Typically it takes months before getting a response but I was interviewed in less than two weeks after applying and hired another week after that. I was able to keep my home and start building a new life for me and my family. But despite the positive outcome and how cheerful my co-workers say I am. I still struggle cause my son has had a multitude of health issues, each time a bit more severe. My wife has been diagnosed with MS and it is starting to really ware on her body. My mother still struggles with her cancer and my dad is emotionally drained and knows it is only a matter of time before my mother passes on.
As you said in your speech though, we move forward. People ask how I can keep going with all this shit in my life happening. It's not easy but you will be amazed at what you can do when the weight off the world is on your shoulders. Keep doing what you do and live life the best you can. Some days will be better or worse than others but life goes on. Stay strong. And thank you again for sharing a piece of your life with the viewers.
Thanks for sharing Brandon! Keep moving forward my friend.
Turning 60 this year and can totally relate. I'm trying things that may be what I want to be when I grow up. The only failure is the person, in this case man, who doesn't admit failure. No house of success is ever built without brinks of fear, risk and vulnerability. Thank you for sharing. See you on your next vid.
Mike from TX
Thank you Mike!
Thanks for sharing. On June 30, 2019, after 34 years of marriage, my wife died of a heart attack. I’m learning to adjust to my new normal. Someone told me about 2 months ago that talking about it, is helping me to heal. I pray the you too can heal.
I'm so sorry to hear that Jay. Thank you for sharing! We'll all get through this together my friend!