exactly what I was thinking and also their data was most probably obtained by self reporting, which males tend to overreport and females tend to underreport their bodycount
I can't help but suspect the guy For social "science" (i.e,. not falsifiable) it's worth considering if the researcher has a wife and daughters Such men have a vested interest in white-knighting women I've seen it too many times
Absolutely! We all see the. Men women gravitate to. They clearly don’t care about body count. That know men commit when they want to and they are trying to be there when the time is right.
Ah look, found the coping redpiller! I'm guessing you're gonna tell me surveys don't matter because Fresh & Fit has an evopsych paper with 4 citations (which he hasn't read) that says actually women are biological wh*res because science? Or perhaps because of your own anecdotes? Thrilling. Remarkable.
In my case, I know why I liked all of them in the first place -they were all blonde, tall (or taller than me, more like it) and light colored eyes. Then came their personalities. 🥶 Obsession is short.
@@ameliepoulain4654 It's me you're discribing lol... As for me I don't care about personality when it comes to shags (as long as they're not unsufferable) but the ones I actually liked as girlfriends were all beautiful, agreeable, enthusiastic and sexually reserved.
That is for a woman. As a man you don't want to remember any of the faces of those that aren't going to be a good mother and are just there for practice because even good Christian virgin women still want the man to have loads of practice.
05:40 I actually believed this Redpill non-sense, my wife actually told me that my high partner count is a turn-off. Promiscuity is seen as unattractive by people who are good at pair-bonding, regardless if it's a man or woman.
Well, at that point, it's your experience lvl vs low body count. Women will probably pick a guy with better experience in bed over us guys who pick lower body count
I knew from a very young age I wanted 1 partner. I was incredibly picky and knew what I wanted. Luckily, I met my husband at 12 years old, started dating at 15, lived together from 25, married at 32. We've been together for almost 20 years. He had one prior partner, I was a virgin. We waited quite awhile, and I couldn't of been happier with how it turned out. It was full of dramatic teenage shite, but as we matured and grew, we became much more balanced adults lol. We helped eachother grow up. I love that I grew up with him. I got to meet him as a boy and watch him grow into a man ♡ it was beautiful to watch.
I work as a clinical social worker in the mental health field with adults. Re: low body count, it's important to consider trauma. A lot of people have been victims of S.assult and physical abuse. Male and female, across all age ranges. Some will often shield themselves from sex/relationships altogether long into adulthood. Great episode 👏🏽
People asked about the number of past sexual partners they've had NEVER include molestations. People *asking* about the number of past sexual partners another person has had NEVER expect molestations to be included. Thus, your introducing the topic of "trauma" into this discussion is a distraction/diversion.
@@alexmuenster2102 I don’t think the comment advocates to include those numbers but rather suggests that data could have an understatement bias because of the effect of sexual trauma on future relationships. A person with trauma may choose to abstain more than a person without it, leading to an ultimately lower body count and, in turn, expectations of a lower body count for a partner.
Uh .. not in cases of w0men I've dated. Two of biggests $lut$ i dated were *both* s3xually a$$saulted when they were young. One by an Uncle, the other by an older brother. The Uncle GF had to be in the dozens, while the brother one had to be way over 100, for body counts.
It has nothing to do with abstaining from sex. It has to do with abstaining from emotional connection during sex. You learn to dissociate the body from the act. You’re there but your not there. Short term partners are easier to deal with because it has nothing to do with emotions and everything to do with something that can be walked away from without pain. Or so they convince themselves of that. It comes at a price. An extremely high price. What’s even worse is when they finally understand that price no one bothers to listen to their advice because they are considered garbage worthy of nothing but distain.
When my wife and I started dating, I was 21 and she was 19. She had 2 people before me, and I was a virgin. She is the only sexual partner I have ever had. We have now been together 25 years, married 23 years. To this day, it still really bothers me that she was my first and only, and I was her 3rd. I wish I could let it go, but it secretly pisses me off really bad. Body count matters.
@@Katarzyna-h2zI think it's more like self respect. Imagine you give your precious first time to someone you love while they didn't even wait for you and rushed up with somone else
@@Katarzyna-h2z There’s some truth to what you’re saying. Because all’s fair in love and war The history of the world is very much competition. It’s more Game of Thrones than Disney He’s allowed to feel how he feels. Something that’s not uncommon amongst men When a man loves a woman. You view her as special. It becomes hard to imagine that other men had them in the ways you have It also makes you wonder how discerning they are if they were care free with sex beforehand More importantly. There was a study that came out in the last year or two The studied surveyed married women who cheated and didn’t cheat. Asking them both how many sexual partners they had prior to getting married The married women who cheated on their partner had something over 200% more sexual partners than the women who were faithful It’s worth mentioning that 200% meant a few additional pre-marital partners But that question, which is a fun question to ask, “does body count matter?” Has been answered The answer is yes. Body count matters Why? Because our choices matter and make us who we are If you marry someone who treats sex casually. What makes you think that habit they developed will stop because they’re married to you? They will come into contact with the fact that marriage requires work. That you can’t just bail or cheat when things get boring or tough Someone who has a higher body count is more likely to do just that I don’t make the rules of human nature
Every person I know who has been married for over 10+ years has had less than 10 sexual partners. The people I know who had more than that were never able to be faithful to their spouses or partners.
Now that I think about it 🤔 I never really asked old people how many times they screwed 😂 BUT ☝️ I have asked a ton a friends I had growing up, and basically….yea…. The more you hoe The less you grow ❤
Sounds like great general advice. ...I'm guessing that it's less than 10 partners by the age of 30... (But then you'd expect them to get into LTR anyway. So maybe until 50 or 60 or until they get divorced or they or their partner dies.)
I did 1min fact check and it seems it's pretty liner in most studies. 1 partner is the best option and than it slowly goes down. Meaning the less partners u had the more likely you are to be happy in a marriage. Correct me if I'm wrong but at least when it comes to long term relationships the less partners u had the better as expected.
I think the study is pointing out that virgins, like myself, aren't attractive in the sense that because its a double edge sword, you are either attractive and saving yourself for marriage OR that virgin is not attractive and you are unwanted. I was wanted for a long time and couldn't get a date. I think people are kind of dumb staking everyone on this fact. People are more multifaceted. Maintaining virginity is important, but if you're not trying to grow in other ways then its not worth it. You might as well go to prostitutes' though I would never encourage it.
@@DJFAmenHeavy real high odds you'll have a terrible sex life then. But better odds for a stable marriage for at least till the kids are in high school
Good luck trying to have a serious study on this with everyone lieing. Women will often mention (unprompted) that they "don't have sex on the first date" and then by the end of the date you end up back at her place having sex. I don't even ask/talk about bodycount or prior partners and have no desire to have that conversation as it seems largely unproductive. I know that the majority of women have far more partners than they would ever report in a study that caps out at 12+ as the highest choice. Women will always round down or avoid the topic so taking any of this data as remotely accurate is a joke. There is no way the average woman is going to truthfully bubble in the highest possible number on your survey. It's just part of the dating dance where the man wants to have sex while simultaneously doing it with someone that isn't easy to get and the woman wants to shit test him and make him "earn it" first and seem like she is hard to get. It's a battle of egos where people are horny but they want to larp like they "don't usually act like this".
Thank you. Women lie about absolutely everything when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships especially when it’s going on record even if it’s anonymous. Conversely, men say they care so much about body count but if Scarlett Johansson wanted to be their gf then all of a sudden it wouldn’t matter
That's why you always ask her about her female friends, and study how she talks about the slutz. If she doesn't seem they are too slutty, they probably are them selves.
@@FunnyDolphin782 I mean I get it. I'm not trying to be overly critical of women because they definitely have to get a feel for the guy before they open up honestly about anything involving this topic. A lot of men that feel like they have underachieved sexually carry a lot of resentment with regards to body count. I remember one of my ex's that I was in a long term monogamous relationship with went on a wild streak after we broke up while I was doing my sad boy phase. We talked about it and she said that I would be doing the same thing if I could. Seemed really douchy at the time but tbh it's the truth and got me motivated to get out of my slump and work on myself again. It's just the way things work nowadays and in my mid 30s now I don't take anything seriously anymore and I am not ever going to expect some virgin saint that has just been waiting for 20 years to meet me rofl.
@@CONEHEADDK if you are a guy that doesn't judge the bodycount and they are comfortable around them the truth comes out and the mask gets dropped. Most women are constantly putting on a fake nice girl character and acting ultra polite for society but many of them are the biggest freaks. I just am amazed these dudes out here are silly enough to actually believe some hot girl in her 20s with a large social circle has a body count of 3 or whatever roflllllll.
That, and many women don't even report casual sex as counting because they weren't in a committed relationship with that man at the time. Chicks like dicks, it is what it is. Just have fun and don't be dumb enough to get married unless you are doing it for its actual original purpose of politically aligning your house to another.
These videos make me very grateful for my religious upbringing about how important it is to wait till marriage....it's literally a non negotiable for me
As much as I wanna just hand it out like free samples sometimes…. Ya ain’t gonna stay in business for long if you don’t charge somebody for some food 😂❤
That's a nice idea in theory but I know that you are not sexually compatible with every man/woman. I have had a few that I was not compatible with at all. I would not be happy to find this out after marriage as it is an important part of a relationship and having children. Good luck.
@@marniekilbourne608 But if both waited till marriage, you have no reference point so the sex will be amazing anyways. Besides you can grow as a couple, learn, discover.
Wanting a short term relationship seems like such a waist of time. Time is the one commodity we’ll never get back why waste it with someone you don’t see a future with.
@@alexmuenster2102 hireing a vehicle gives you transport and opportunities, what does a short term relationship give you? fun that you'll forget in a month for alot of investment.
@@Jay-vt1mw Wrong! A short-term relationship can provide just as much "added-value" and long-term enrichment as a good steak meal served with fine wine. It can provide pleasant memories that will last a lifetime. It can relieve pent-up pressure in one's seminal vesicle. I could go on...
I hear alll the time that men care about women's body count. I've had conversations with tons of my male friends and seen tons of interviews of men saying that they do care
That's just like women saying they don't care about a man's past. But 4yrs into the relationship. He brings up something from the past (before he was dating you), and she will get upset.. proof the past does matter..
Wonder if there is any filter for age? Meaning 'how many sexual partners per decade of adulthood?' For instance, if I'm considering dating a woman in her late 40s I would expect her to have had more sexual partners than a girl in her early 20s.
If you are having sex with someone and not considering marriage and family, you are part of the problem, and passing the trauma of adding to the womans body count to the next guy. I think it is super selfish if you both have not discussed marriage and waited a while to get to know one another, their family, and values. The idea that marrying a virgin is to be avoided is ridiculous. Delayed gratification is so much better. We as a society have separated family and sex and it is blatantly apparent. We are not here to fuck and then have families, we are here to have families and have sex and communicate the wonder of sex with family rather than hide our pasts. It is not good for anyone to have dark spots in our past that prevent us from being free. Children sense this behavior and then mimic the examples set before them, and the cycle gets worse every generation.
Absolute nonsense and an incredible amount of entitlement. You're basically saying that because other men are insecure, men shouldn't have sex with women they don't want to marry? I'd say a man caring about a women's body count is more an insecurity on the man. Let people live their life, jesus christ
@@user-xx7tv7cc1y it’s absolutely nothing to do with insecurity, I’m extremely self assured, I know who I am, and I know what I want out of life. Yet if I find out a woman’s got a high number of sexual partners, I am disgusted to my very core. I see it as a sign of degeneracy, pain and insecurity, of which I don’t want to be passed down to my offspring if this woman was to mother my children. Societal monogamy should be encouraged or else the future will be very very grim for both genders, believe me
@@olsmarshall Well, other people see it differently. And to say they are "part of the problem", just makes you sound like a religious nut. People are free to do what they want, it's entirely possible for people to have many sexual partners and still be normal human beings. I can almost guarantee there's many things about you that would disgust other people, but the key is that they let you live. Live and let live. "degeneracy, pain and insecurity," or, they love having sex with many different people because of the variety of things they can find out about themselves.
A really good observation. And I think the decades ahead will show just how things will pan out as far as how the hook up culture 20 and 30 somethings will fare when they actually want to settle down with someone long term.
I think it's personal preference. For me, I really wanted one person, or as few as possible. Luckily, I got what I wanted and have only been with my husband. What I wanted in a male partner was the exact same. I wanted a partner with very very few or none.
I'm a woman, 38 y.o. and I had sex with 9 different men and with 1 woman before I got married. Happily married for 13 years now and have never been really wanting anyone else than my husband since then. He used to have psychological and physical problems for several years, so that for the last 10 years we only had sex once per year or less (it's geting better now). Sex is such a vital part of a relationship for me, but I remained faithful. In my case, the high body count before marriage was mostly me not knowing what I really want and the societal pressure to always be dating someone. By the way, my husband never asked about my body count, neither did I ask him.
Also, before marriage, I used to be a webcam model (my husband knows it). And it actually was a useful experience, it made me much more relaxed and open to experiments in bed. My social skills have improved and so did my self-care.
@@Ryan-xb3qq It was 10 overall (9 men and 1 woman). Personally I see it as high for me (age 38 now), because the experience I gained there could all have been gained within one single relationship. I mean emotional experience as well as experience in bed. 2 of them were relationships, 3 were casual for the other partner but I hoped for relationship (silly me), the rest 5 were definitely casual from my side.
Is it me? I'm a bit confused about the whole 'short-term' term. I don't think I've ever looked at a potential girlfriend as 'short-term.' I've been in relationships where at some point, I've thought "She isn't for me" but never in the beginning. Of course I'm one of those guys with a 'low body count' (a terrible phrase, btw).
You're physically attracted to someone, but there are major red flags / differences where you know you won't be with that partner for 7+ years. Could be their: attitude towards money; their weight; how you two argue; her extended family; whether one of you relocates or plans to; etc.
@@Idontknowhoiamanymore ummmnnnhhh - body count is used during war - 'the body count from this attack is...' and for death tolls from natural disasters; mass murders and more. Anywhoooo, I'm not here to argue the finer points of language and grateful I'm not part of anyone's body count sexually.
Women don't seem to care about body count but I am certain men do. On the point where men were asked individually, was it anonymous? A lot of men won't tell you they care about it in the fear that they will get cancelled.
Beware! Important difference: Women prefer a Chad with low count but they will still choose him over avg Joe even if Chads count is in the hundreds. Meanwhile a guy will pick the avg girl over the hot babe in the same situation! While it may be true that men and women have a similar preference in partner count when it comes to relationships, this statistic DOES NOT reveal how DECISIVE this preference is compared to other parameters
Having watched PLENTY of young guys ignore or try to backburner good women in the pursuit of getting laid as much & as quickly as possible, I can say without a doubt, many guys will pick just as poorly as a lot of women do. Especially when they're young.
@@SirCalculator I've definitely watched it & warned several guys what they were getting themselves into. They didn't ever want to listen though. Young guys especially have a short-term, path-of-least-resistance mentality which more often than not does bite them in the a$$. Then there's the fact that a guy has to be in the right headspace to notice, appreciate & keep a good woman when she comes along. If a dude is stuck in the p&d mentality, he's only going to see every chick as a potential lay until he shifts gears to do & find better. A good woman's personality & character doesn't mean anything to guy who ONLY wants to get laid which is something a lot of ppl seem to forget. You can't be chasing both thots & good women at the same time either... no one lands a quality catch while they're splashing around in shallow mudpuddles.
@@kc6810 Yeah they are, why are women known for gassing up there friends or random women then? Telling 4s that they look gorgeous or hot….. yeah frickin great at rating bro
I would’ve assumed Jewish, Muslim and Christians would find virgins the most ideal. I really would’ve guessed zero to be the most preferred. The idea of asking a religious person about short term mating seems unusual as this would go against their person beliefs around marriage and relationships.
Depends on whether you're a man or a woman. Men can more easily have a lot of sexual partners without being emotionally affected. Women usually can't. The second they understand they're nothing more than a body to most of the guys they had sex with, it breaks them. No joke, I knew a woman that had sex with lots of guys and was getting angry because they wouldn't have anything more to do with her(to be fair, she was a coont most of the time but an easy 8). She came up with the bright idea of turning the tables and was gonna give the next guy whatever he wanted and when he came back for more, tell him she was just using him and decline. Except she didn't get that call and she went NUTS. Women aren't equipped to handle meaningless sex the way guys can. Just basic facts.
@@joane24 Men on average can manage their emotions better than women. THAT'S why it affects them less; they can reason and understand that the interaction does not have a 'deeper' meaning than it actually does while women tend to believe the opposite. Which, to some degree, is understandable since they are more vulnerable and they are literally allowing someone inside of them. Your explanation to your beliefs demonstrate what I said; you cannot separate your emotional response to what you read(likely because many women _feel_ men are essentially just mal-adjusted women) from men's ability not to be controlled by their feelings. i.e. they can tell the difference between the act of sex being done simply for physical pleasure and that of an actual connection with a person.
The horrible truth that none of us want to hear. Because there's a certain vindictive element to "fucking like a man" for women. Only, we end up playing ourselves instead. We also get dehumanised and have crappy sex more often than not, in the process.
@@joane24 Women can get pregnant once every nine months, men can ejaculate several times a day. Extrapolate from there on why men and women have a different relationship with sex.
@@black-aliss Thank you, yes. And some guys fall into this as well, but, mostly women and it DOESN'T help anyone. Even though guys can separate sex from love, if they can combine both, it's better. Even the few guys I know that have been with loads of women have said it. The guys are happier, the women are happier, and on the whole, relationships are stronger.
Agree that 4-5 would be optimal, but I wonder if this is just a conflated ideological fantasy? Sort of like the online dating profiles of women listing essentially the unicorn Chad. Yeah, they exist, but what's the likelihood of actually landing one?
I assume there is a connection to the average sexual partners of each person. If one has a high body count that person would also be more open to a high body count from the potential partner in my opinion. I believe "4" is not to far from this average (in Germany/Middle Europe)
If its becoming habitual, and out of habit because its 'expected' then its time to concider fewer sexual partners, untill you meet someone, that you've rembered from the night before.
Im under 10 by a few. And I often simultaneously feel it is too many and too few. I have no issues with being with a virgin, the odds of finding one in my 30s is close to 0%. But i wouldnt be with someone who has more than me.
@@sarahrobertson634 there are studies suggesting that for men they aren't affected as much by a higher number of partners than women are, so i disagree with you.
There definitely are some studies out there on this. It's just that particular feild of study is still relatively new since the p*rn boom only really ramped up with the increase of technology. Part of what scientists are seeing is that since oxytocin (the bonding hormone) is released during org@sm, it essentially causes regular p*rn users to bond to p*rn instead of an actual person. Coupled with the ease of availability & the dopamine rush, you have the spark of addiction.
@@moonknight4053 I don't know... I hear stories of kids who haven't even entered puberty already having lost their virginity. I think that that's a pretty good indication of damage done to human ability these days to take sexual intercourse seriously.
I don't think this is a question we can answer with science alone. Culture matters a hell of a lot. We know of cultures that historically were very open to multi partner mating, and of course we know of cultures where notions of purity were the main concern. I think this is a software, not a hardware question. And as such it will vary based on your personal beliefs and culture. But just knowing there were cultures were promiscuity was not seen as a problem, to me shows that there isn't one single answer.
At least from a Darwinian perspective, there is an answer. What was the fate of said promiscuous cultures especially their abilities to grow families, communities etc? Morally and pragmatically, what good does promiscuity deliver for the betterment of humanity? There were cultures in which slavery was not seen as a problem, the fact that promiscuity wasn't seen as wrong at some point in a culture in the past is really not a valid reason for us to structure our society based on the same practices.
@joetheboy04 it isn't that black and white. What we consider "monogamous societies" definitely had their share of premarital sex, cheating, etc. Even modern societies where slavery has been abolished have no shortage of trafficking/pr*stitution, forced labor and exploitation of migrants. I think these are perennial human issues that get dressed up or down depending on societal values, but they will exist as long as we do.
@@canadaisruledbyclowns7188wouldn’t that be the exact reason why that huge decision should be connected to the other huge decision on choosing who your going to spend the rest of your life with.
Clickbait. My count is 3 and I'm turning 50 this year. One early mistake, the woman I married and had a kid with and now the woman I'm with. What the hell does it matter? All I know is that I'm happy with the woman I'm with, and sex comes from the relationship - not the other way around.
zero is the right number, once you put a number different from zero it is just subjective and that number will be keep moving up every 5 years. and in some moment in the future +50 will be "the new normal" why 5 and not 6 ? and why not 7? and so on
There used to be a convenient term for “high body-count” women which also expressed their undesirability. It’s a four letter word which begins with ‘SL’ and ends with a ‘T’. There is always some significant dysfunction at the heart of promiscuity. Sex for the sake of validation, which encompasses the vast majority of female sexual behaviour, is ultimately self-defeating. It is, however, a rapid and reliable way of greatly reducing one’s value for essentially zero benefit. It wouldn’t be surprising to discover that many women encourage this denigrating practice in others in order to elevate themselves (relatively speaking).
Seems solid and fair to me. Women go for men in the following order: 1. High morals and high options (high morals mean nothing if options are what dictate your circumstances). 2. High options low morals (these guys at least eventually marry, he is a challenge "But I can fix him") 3. High morals, low options (such as religious men, the self-righteous and arrogant hypocrites). 4. Low morals, low options (bitter porn watching perv looking to embrace sexual double standards he has no resources/value to enforce).
I think high school bf, plus uni bf, plus one mistake is acceptable. My wife says she had one before me (high school bf) but I assume that means three. I long ago accepted nearly all women lie about this, or they don’t count the mistakes
This is fair. My wife and (together 25 years) both had 1 ltr in college before meeting each other. I don't think you need to mistrust your wife because of what you've read on the internet. Most of the "manosphere" is about tricking dumb skanks into bed, not "normal" women who put up healthy barriers to strange guys. Women always have opportunities, but if she has self control, doesn't mean she took them.
@Ronins Journey not high enough since at least 2000*. Women have 4x the std rate so 4x would be a minimum. Basically, a lot of women share the few top catches on pickup apps. * I didn't want to reGoogle the health data but I vaguely this number covers all women thru age 44 two years ago, so 18 to 46 now. At age 45+, in 2020, the std rate was the same as for men. And that 4x std rate is hard *data*, not voluntary disclosure.
I still think there has to be somewhat of a difference in how people view it from the male and female side. For a man to have a high body count, he has to put a lot of work in or have something impressive going on for him: fame, success, charisma. For an average or even below average woman to have a high body count she just has to say yes and breathe. It's more impressive to do something hard than easy, that's where the perceived distinction comes from.
To an extent, yes. However, the other side of the coin to that is that men find it easier to cheat and women tend to lose their sex appeal in middle aged, whilst men actually even make gains. Which probably explains why more men cheat as they get older. So I actually don't agree with your take on things. And a man who could sleep around a lot has very little to stop him doing so when he gets to be middle aged with, most likely, a partner of the same age who, because she's female and the same age, is now less sexy than him. ...There is also the question of sexual compatibility. I find my self not particularly capable of committing to (or even having a casual fling with) a man who is inclined to sleep around easily. I just would not feel secure or safe with them. And not feeling secure of safe would kill off any initial attraction I would have.
@@lambchop6278 Not sure how you mean "not so black and white for all people"... if you're a woman, you will control the act of sex, as it isn't going to happen without the woman willingly granting it. If you're a man, you really have no control over the act of sex taking place... all you can do is try to be as attractive as possible and hope the woman finds you valuable enough to grant sex to. But the certainty of the act taking place isn't in a man's hands.
Are there any scientific research about how multiple partners affect men and women differently? Like hormonwise or anything else? Because everyone assumes it is not the same but without any evidence.
Really? I'm in my 30s and women talk about it with me all the time. My friends say the same. Maybe it depends on where you live (my experience is in big cities).
*I'm in my 30s and agree this is quite juvenile. Most adults with life experience, their own homes and lives etc. don't concern themselves with other people's sex lives.* Funny how women don't likewise think it would be "juvenile" to be concerned about a man's financial state and status after a certain age... "Most adults with life experience, their own homes and lives etc. don't concern themselves with other people's financial lives."
"We studied that" Okay, stop. So you are basing your entire opinion on hypothetical scenarios that people answered to in a questionaire? At that point you might as well just guess.
Facts 1) Men will always prefer their fair virgin maiden princess and women will always prefer their tall handsome Prince Charming. 2) Women view a high body count in men as a positive that there’s something great in him that all women want, so therefore she wants him. 3) Men see a high body count in women as a negative in that there’s a high risk of catching STD, weak commitment and loyalty issue from the women, and weak ability to pair bond and love the man as a husband due to desensitizing of sex with many men.
I wasn't very popular in high school but in my late teens I hit my stride and tore through women, lots and lots of very attractive women but other than looks and an attitude (which was all an act) I didn't have much to offer. Decades later and I'm for the most part the person I've tried to be with a great career and lots of assets and there are NO women of value within a 15 year range. I men the outlook is BLEAK!
One of the interesting realities is that some males peaking in college is a real thing. The jocks have their time then the rest of mankind catches up. You had your chance just like the ladies did.
This is especially scary when you look at how women can get half of your assets from before you even met them, the divorce rate and "so what do you do for a living" as the standard conversation starter.
Care to elaborate? I find it difficult to believe that a man that had an easy time dating when he was younger can't find suitable mate when he is older, and has a lot more to offer. What exactly are you looking for?
@@K3r0411 The "good one" haha most people I know who are married are obese living unhappy, meaningless lives. I only know a few men who married women of any value. I'm a bullet dodger, you are probably stuck with a soul crushing cow. Most of the "jocks" I knew in high school turned into losers. I'm 6'3" and still athletic. If high school was your zenith you're not doing it right.
So why do all the rich men and high status men often have more than one woman? its allways been like that also, since beginning of time. Just read a history book and you will see that all the kings etc had multible women.
@@josefinandersson7646 One good reason: Because in those times, women could not have much agency. They were not able to work for a living for themselves. Also, divorce is much easier now than it was before the 1960s. So, that's why. ...I also count my self as a woman who wouldn't be inclined to share a man, regardless of how glamorous, attractive or wealthy he would be. In fact, it's a considerable turn off for me if I find out a guy isn't a faithful type. I lose attraction pretty quickly. And what was gold becomes glitter in my eyes.
@@lambchop6278 Women are known for talking a big game then doing the exact opposite once the real situation comes around... Even today, you will find plenty of women perfectly willing to "share" a man provided he is really improving their standing in life... i.e. improving/providing financial security they don't want to spend the rest of their lives attaining themselves. As much as you may deny this, women instinctively understand failure to secure a man that can provide for them very well will lead to feelings of unfulfillment in life... so being able to work and make money today vs. whatever time ago really doesn't mean much.
Maybe because of the high body counts these days. It makes the younger generation happier to be single, I don't think they feel they are missing out. They are probably find it creepy that people want to indulge in everything.
@@davepazz580 There are many more women living their best lives not posting on Tiktok. Those Tiktok women are not representing the entire single female population.
Im exceedingly picky and remain celibate. I’m almost asexual until I actually find potential husband material and attraction. One of my body counts shouldn’t count because I said no and he still proceeded to do what he wanted. I wasn’t ready and it was too early in the talking stage. That should also be taken into consideration, if you were abused or groomed into having sex.
Body count of both men and women matter. Sex exposes a man and a woman to STDs. Not all STDs are tested for (HPV and HMV are not plus many many more). Only the most common are tested for so the more partners you have the more risk for either. Also the research that I've read shows that people with higher body counts tend to have more psychological disorders. Additionally, they also have a harder time emotionally connecting during sex.
@@davepazz580 That's just not true. Look up Macken Murphy he is a respected researcher and has found that body count for men is important. Men with higher body counts are more likely to cheat. Women tend to prefer a lower body count. Check it out yourself.
If women "tend" to prefer men with lower body counts (which is another way of saying women are just men without penises), then the largest majority of men today who are in fact, either virgins or have very low body counts would be *constantly* chased after by the large majority of women... But this isn't happening at all... such men are statistically the *least* desired men by women today. The men that *most* women are constantly pursuing are men that every other woman also wants, in other words, men with *high* body counts... Macken Murphey can take his "research" and shove it where the sun doesn't shine...
As a proud 32-year-old virgin (not for religious reasons either), I can attest that men with high body counts are just as disgusting as women with high body counts. It's repulsive both ways, no double standards in My world LOL.
Both men and women have their inate nature. And there is good and bad in both. How we are conditioned in life from a very early age has a massive impact on the adults/ppl we become. If a woman grows up in a loving home, with a great/trusting relationship with her father and brothers, sees and trusts their masculinity and sees her father treating her mom well and her mom responding to it in a reseporcating and positive way. She knows what the standard of behaviour is expected for her community and they hold her accountable. If she suffers no childhood trauma and is not body shamed and judged on her beauty as he's starts her adolescents (wears a hijab). Often for women their first time can be full of trauma and a bad experience. So too, having relationships out side of a loving, committed relationship (marriage) can have negative effects. So don't sleep around. Add to that medications: antidepressants, birth control, alcohol, drugs and social media/gossip, consumer culture with a toxic bunch of "friends". And a high body count. Is it any wounder one would see perhaps a negative behaviour and conditioning. And could this sometimes manifest itsself in some perhaps "deviant" se***ul behaviour.? In islam we have introduced marriage to ppl form our own tried and tested social circle, that is international in nature, as we are of all races and nationality. We get married and form families without playing expensive dating games that lead to nowhere..... You wouldn't be able to have EVERYTHING in life and in a relationship. But as long as it got attraction and mutual respect, then learn to have patience and compromise.
I'm 60. I wrote every name I could think down and some nameless scenarios just to take a look at myself. I was astounded not so much at the body count but my memory being in tact. 😢
1…. I come from generations of 0 premarital partners. It’s just a more real family feeling. It’s not even a consideration. You can have seggs with your wife. But can’t wife your seggs partners. Different material. This is life.
It's a very big spectrum, English countries still counts single digit partners as normal but as you go middle East it starts to count as not good and as you go east further, more than 1 or 2 is considered bad. So it all depends on a lot of aspects.
Nope this is the one thing in life you don't need to test drive. Married 30 years and we were both first time boyfriend and girlfriend and virgins. Trust is what keep people together. Someone who's got your back. Someone who doesn't gossip about you behind your back and someone who is always on your side and there for you. Trust is like an egg you can't unbreak it. Marriages fail because of selfish unreliable people.
Don't know Don't care. As long as my numbers are up, then idc. Anways, if you ask, she can flat out lie. Especially if she senses you're that type of dude who does care. Have boundaries fellas, but probably not the body count one so much.
Wow this data really makes men on YT look bad. All this "body count! body count!" It doesn't seem to actually matter. It's just men being whiny that she's just not that into you.
You could end up better off. ...Take a look at comments here by men who've slept around a lot and now want to be in a committed relationship but struggle to because of their persistent desire for variety in a partner. Looks to me like a person makes a compromise whether they like it or not. And whether they are female or not. Love or Lust. Our current culture only gives so much room to get both. You can. But the internet (along with the pill) just has opened the floodgates as far as being bombarded by perceived options and temptation. Surprise surprise, it isn't just women who have to sacrifice. Now men get to also experience being forced to grapple with the Hoare or Madonna complex just as women were forced to before sexual liberation, and the pill. It's a pity that our culture couldn't be a little more gentle. As it's pretty cut throat overall I'd say. Still, I'm not complaining. As, ironically, I've benefited from being in a culture that went against my nature. Learned a lot about the opposite gender and it's put me at an advantage now, I believe.
What # of lifetime partners is most common? I've heard 3-5 is the average but that is probably skewed by a lot of 1-2s and a handful in the hundreds. I've averaged one partner per year since i was 16: some relationships, some flings, and some dry spells. For being a pretty normal guy, I wouldn't have expected 20 to be such a high number
@liamrivero7839 Not everyone is a good long-term match for you, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself along the way. Being with people you actually like and treating each other with respect isn't a bad thing.
@@M0viLover I really don't think it is nowadays, from social and attractive girls I've met, mid-high teen count by late 20s is common. Dating is so different nowadays, people care about sexual compatibility and getting their needs filled so there's not much reason to hold back early, and then many guys dip on them
Yes you are essentially right, IIRC in the UK it's something like 50% less than 2 partners, 75% less than 5 partners and 90% less than 10 partners. Also a typical woman has less partners than a typical man but a few women have very high numbers which evens the average to be the same as men (as it must be). Basically all the high numbers men are sleeping with the same very small group of very high numbers women. Even though hooking up has become more accepted, younger generations are having less partners on average, not more as is often portrayed. The TLDR is that even today, promiscuity is very much a tiny minority sport, the popularity of which is blown out of all proportion by various media because 'sex sells'.
I can relate to this. I dont have a huge body count as a man but most of mine came after my divorce. But it effected me in attaching to someone because i would start missing being with multiple women and the newness of different girls. My ex girlfriend just left me for a guy with a body count that he cant when recall a round about of how many girls he slept with. Lost count. She is thinking marriage with him. I cant imagine that will last due to his history. He will be more likely to cheat on her in the future. Especially aftwe they have a child.
Here’s where the body count discussion is always lacking. If you want to discover what is really going on in the mind of women with high body counts you find one who is now past her prime, the one who regrets it and now lives with the psychological scars. The 23 year old chick hot chick who sees nothing wrong with it isn’t the example to set forth. The 50 year old woman who deals with flashbacks, wakes up from nightmares, finds showering humiliating because it requires her to be naked and avoids even looking in a mirror because it disgusts her. Those are the one’s who need to be given a voice. I guarantee you that they have more to reveal about the negative aspects of a high body count better than someone who just arrogantly spouts off empty rhetoric.
That's extreme and the type of behavior of a women who suffered sexual and emotional abuse via childhood and potentially adult relationships. Most women I know over 50, who have over 10-15 partners to be realistic...they have basically sworn off men and are thriving in life alone with their pets , family for those who had children and were married once and a community of women their age. Men are equally at fault for the divorce rate - via lazyness, complacency , and basically being shit husbands. Red pill. women leave and file first. Women live longer happier and healthier lives single and without men, where men are suicidal and unhappy alone. I have a past and yet never cheated, had one night stands , or anything of that nature. The only thing i regret is having a big heart when the men was choosing were terrible partners or basically lying on who they were. Im SO happy celibate and single going on 2 years. I would never allow this narritive to affect how I value myself because my charachter is intact and life is a series of self improvement :) God Bless.
@@sophrosyne5900 ❤❤❤ thank you for your comment. Your day will be blessed ✨ but also if it’s meant to be in your life path to partner with a man he will come and be tailor made to you love ❤ keep doing the self work that you’re clearly doing 🤗 x
@@sophrosyne5900 The women you know who are thriving alone with their pets and a community of women their age? Those people used to be referred to as raging alcoholics.
Depends on how much allowance you make. I don't believe in big differences between men and women. To me, like belongs with like. I won't bother wasting my faithfulness on a man who slept around a lot. Not my type.
@@lambchop6278 Men can't "sleep around" because men don't control access to sex... women do. Women always seem to believe men are pretty much just like women with the exact same mindset when it comes to dating.... nothing could be further from the truth, there are indeed *big* differences between the two.
What about 25-30yo virgins with 0 body count? 90% of people in my age bracket has had relationships. I won't be able to pair bond, because I have no experience being with women and because of my inexperience I'll mess it up and will never know what to do when with a woman. I'm used to being alone my entire life. There's that too.
You didn't do any research on the matter? Just to get an insight (if nothing else). That way you'll at least have a chance (and You will be able to develop stronger feelings towards her).
" I won't be able to pair bond, because I have no experience being with women and because of my inexperience I'll mess it up and will never know what to do when with a woman" You're writing this as if it were a forgone conclusion, as if you had 0 agency over what happens next. You've got more control over what happens than you care to give yourself. Plus, you'll probably find many women in the same boat. If this podcast has taught me anything, it's that modern dating dynamics are pretty fucked up for women and men alike.
@@mitchellthomas2686 Either way I don't see myself ever being in a relationship. That's life. We always want what we cannot have. I have to accept that having a woman by my side is something I'll never have. Destined to die a virgin rip. I always wanted to travel the world with the woman I love. Guess I'll have to travel and see the world alone. That's something at least worth experiencing for me before I leave this world.
@Troy Hailey I don't watch porn. It's disgusting and fake. Not good for the brain. Plus last I heard women see men with no dating experience as a red flag.
There's a difference between having sex and being capable of maintaining a relationship. Go out and make some friends, learn to be sociable because it sounds like you're way too in your head about this. The best success I've had is when you're not actively looking: it just kinda falls into place unexpectedly
4? Lol that’s not what Red pill teaches, “apparently” all us women have to be godly saints with zero body count and these men have a wife and side chicks lol 🤣
I'm not proud of my past sexual proclivities but considering 36 was the highest number referenced, apparently I'm FAR from "optimal." Thankfully I'm married with a bunch of children today.
You should be, what you achieved was only possible for kings and royalty historically. Plus you seem to have had a happy ending, don’t listen to this horseshit
A man should never ask a woman her body count because either one of two things will happen, and neither of them have good outcomes: 1. She’ll tell you the truth or; 2. She’ll lie If you’re looking to have a LTR with a woman you can’t just flat out ask her how many guys she’s been with before you, that’s what a woman asks a man. A man must deduce this from a combination of factors, such as, how experienced she seems when it comes to sex (hard to do if you’re a guy with limited sexual experiences) and the types of women she surrounds herself with (their level of promiscuity). The onus is on the man to deduce her body count and if that number ends up being too high for him, well that’s down to his own internal value system. To ask a woman her body count outright is a fruitless endeavour because if she has strong feelings towards the guy, she will want to portray herself in the best light possible (naturally), however, this now opens the door to dishonesty, which in my opinion is a lot more destructive to a LTR.
Asking a woman her count is such a weak move. I’ve never even considered asking a girl, just didn’t even occur to me. I am confident that, no matter what happens, the time we spend together will be incredible and I hope the best she ever has had. If we were meant to be, then we will stay together. If not, that was meant to be too, and was the universe bringing together two humans to make beautiful ephemeral art.
@@onward-fp2fz bc you are insecure. You are afraid her previous lover was “better” whatever it means or had a bigger dick 😂😂😂 I laugh bc it so “male” problem and we only use this argument bc we know it really pisses you off. 😂😂😂 better think a bit who made you think you are not enough- bc I can tell you as a woman - it is really what makes your life and the life of your woman miserable. Sometimes people break up bc they think you are horrible and sometimes you are - but usually people break up just bc they don’t like being together. And it doesn’t mean you are less not enough not good and so on. Just not compatible.
Unprotected sex can kill you so it's worth knowing all the facts before you make such a huge decision. If she lies, that says a lot about her. Perhaps she isn't relationship material.
How about we stop counting and start treating each other with respect. Ask yourself/potential partner what’s my/your ultimate goal in dating and hold yourself accountable for your own actions rather than engaging in high risk behaviours and hypocritically judging others for the same?
🤣🤣🤣 You're right, it's the counting that's the issue here. If we didn't count age no one would get old. If we didn't count money we would all be rich. If we didn't count bodies everyone would be a suitable mate. Oh wait that's idiotic nonsense.
also as gross as this is, the amount of partners someone currently has if you're just hooking up with someone is also a huge factor imo. HU culture is gross because each side can be hooking up with 3 people at a time.
When I was single and partied a lot I still would be put off by a trashy behavior a girl that I was interested in showed. On the other hand people I used to party with thought my body count was much higher than in reality. Just on the basis how many women they saw me with.
Same, my ex completely refused to believe she was my first simply because of my party lifestyle, interest from other girls and confidence in the bedroom. She was extremely jealous and constantly engaged in mate guarding right from the start. Almost like women equate attraction with experience not the other way round.
Just look up divorce rates by premarital partners. Then look up who initiates divorce. If every guy looking for marriage/long term knew those two, he wouldn't even entertain anyone with more than 3/4 bodies.
@@courtneyeliza5614 There are plenty of "reasons" for Divorce. But besides abuse and infidelity, they're all just excuses for being too lazy to make it work. And looking at the statistics (not my opinion) women who have more partners before marriage simply don't want to make things work. Marriage vows be damned.
@@tobir693Maybe they're less likely also to put up with male infidelity. And they're less naive to it. Which goes with their 'can't beat em, join em' approach to the culture of permissiveness. More men still cheat than women. And they do so more the older they get.
How many previous sexual partners is too many *for what*? What are people assuming to be true for different numbers here? For context, I'm a polyamorous bisexual guy who is accustomed to being in more than one relationship at once with other folks that are also in multiple relationships. I'm mystified by this topic, and by the rest of the comments.
I didn't think I was anything too special, but my body count is many multiples of times higher than the ideal, so i guess I'm a bit of a Chad. That being said, I have commitment issues so I guess that makes sense. Bagged a lot of tail, but now I have a really hard time settling down.
I don't know about being a Chad. It depends on what types of women you slept with. When I was young I was having sex with the ugliest women because I was one awkward dude. Then improved in every way and got way more picky. If I only counted the attractive women I would have low numbers. If you include the really ugly ones then I'm a Chad too.
Watch the full episode with Dr Thomas here - th-cam.com/video/8b7qVFg_OFE/w-d-xo.html
If a key opens many locks, then it is a master key; if a lock can be opened with any key, then the lock is useless.
There could not be a better demonstration of, "Trust what people do, not what they say," than this study.
exactly what I was thinking and also their data was most probably obtained by self reporting, which males tend to overreport and females tend to underreport their bodycount
I can't help but suspect the guy
For social "science" (i.e,. not falsifiable) it's worth considering if the researcher has a wife and daughters
Such men have a vested interest in white-knighting women
I've seen it too many times
Absolutely! We all see the. Men women gravitate to. They clearly don’t care about body count. That know men commit when they want to and they are trying to be there when the time is right.
Ah look, found the coping redpiller! I'm guessing you're gonna tell me surveys don't matter because Fresh & Fit has an evopsych paper with 4 citations (which he hasn't read) that says actually women are biological wh*res because science? Or perhaps because of your own anecdotes? Thrilling. Remarkable.
@@atjov0013it starts in high school. As soon as you grow a few hairs on your balls, everyone won’t stop talking about boobs n banging
When you start forgetting the reasons why you were attracted to them in the first place, it probably means you should slow down...
In my case, I know why I liked all of them in the first place -they were all blonde, tall (or taller than me, more like it) and light colored eyes. Then came their personalities.
🥶 Obsession is short.
@@ameliepoulain4654 It's me you're discribing lol... As for me I don't care about personality when it comes to shags (as long as they're not unsufferable) but the ones I actually liked as girlfriends were all beautiful, agreeable, enthusiastic and sexually reserved.
For me it's pretty easy
When you can't remember the names and faces of the people you have been with; then it's too many
That was the point when I slowed down.
@@canadaisruledbyclowns7188I think it's geared more towards people in they 20s and 30s
This actually troubles me.
Also, I sat down and thought about it, and maybe only 4 or 5 women were actually added to my life in any meaningful way 😢
That is for a woman. As a man you don't want to remember any of the faces of those that aren't going to be a good mother and are just there for practice because even good Christian virgin women still want the man to have loads of practice.
05:40 I actually believed this Redpill non-sense, my wife actually told me that my high partner count is a turn-off. Promiscuity is seen as unattractive by people who are good at pair-bonding, regardless if it's a man or woman.
Well, she still married you so it wasn't as much of a turn-off as you think.
@@StreetWarrior24 Probably told her late into the relationship when she had already caught feelings
Well, at that point, it's your experience lvl vs low body count. Women will probably pick a guy with better experience in bed over us guys who pick lower body count
What were you expecting your wife to say? "I always wanted to pair-bond with a chad who has seeded as many women as Genghis Khan?"
It's absolutely true that women are repulsed by men with a high body count .
This myth that it's fine for men is perpetuated as a free pass for men.
I knew from a very young age I wanted 1 partner. I was incredibly picky and knew what I wanted.
Luckily, I met my husband at 12 years old, started dating at 15, lived together from 25, married at 32. We've been together for almost 20 years.
He had one prior partner, I was a virgin. We waited quite awhile, and I couldn't of been happier with how it turned out. It was full of dramatic teenage shite, but as we matured and grew, we became much more balanced adults lol. We helped eachother grow up. I love that I grew up with him. I got to meet him as a boy and watch him grow into a man ♡ it was beautiful to watch.
I work as a clinical social worker in the mental health field with adults. Re: low body count, it's important to consider trauma. A lot of people have been victims of S.assult and physical abuse. Male and female, across all age ranges. Some will often shield themselves from sex/relationships altogether long into adulthood. Great episode 👏🏽
People asked about the number of past sexual partners they've had NEVER include molestations. People *asking* about the number of past sexual partners another person has had NEVER expect molestations to be included. Thus, your introducing the topic of "trauma" into this discussion is a distraction/diversion.
@@alexmuenster2102 I don’t think the comment advocates to include those numbers but rather suggests that data could have an understatement bias because of the effect of sexual trauma on future relationships. A person with trauma may choose to abstain more than a person without it, leading to an ultimately lower body count and, in turn, expectations of a lower body count for a partner.
@@chandambao4751 >>person with trauma may choose to abstain more
Uh .. not in cases of w0men I've dated. Two of biggests $lut$ i dated were *both* s3xually a$$saulted when they were young. One by an Uncle, the other by an older brother. The Uncle GF had to be in the dozens, while the brother one had to be way over 100, for body counts.
It has nothing to do with abstaining from sex. It has to do with abstaining from emotional connection during sex. You learn to dissociate the body from the act. You’re there but your not there. Short term partners are easier to deal with because it has nothing to do with emotions and everything to do with something that can be walked away from without pain.
Or so they convince themselves of that. It comes at a price. An extremely high price. What’s even worse is when they finally understand that price no one bothers to listen to their advice because they are considered garbage worthy of nothing but distain.
When my wife and I started dating, I was 21 and she was 19. She had 2 people before me, and I was a virgin. She is the only sexual partner I have ever had. We have now been together 25 years, married 23 years. To this day, it still really bothers me that she was my first and only, and I was her 3rd. I wish I could let it go, but it secretly pisses me off really bad. Body count matters.
So relationship is not about love and acceptance but competition for you?
@@Katarzyna-h2z He realised he missed out on the sexual variety of sleeping with other women before settling down
@@Katarzyna-h2zI think it's more like self respect. Imagine you give your precious first time to someone you love while they didn't even wait for you and rushed up with somone else
@@Katarzyna-h2z
There’s some truth to what you’re saying. Because all’s fair in love and war
The history of the world is very much competition. It’s more Game of Thrones than Disney
He’s allowed to feel how he feels. Something that’s not uncommon amongst men
When a man loves a woman. You view her as special. It becomes hard to imagine that other men had them in the ways you have
It also makes you wonder how discerning they are if they were care free with sex beforehand
More importantly. There was a study that came out in the last year or two
The studied surveyed married women who cheated and didn’t cheat. Asking them both how many sexual partners they had prior to getting married
The married women who cheated on their partner had something over 200% more sexual partners than the women who were faithful
It’s worth mentioning that 200% meant a few additional pre-marital partners
But that question, which is a fun question to ask, “does body count matter?” Has been answered
The answer is yes. Body count matters
Why?
Because our choices matter and make us who we are
If you marry someone who treats sex casually. What makes you think that habit they developed will stop because they’re married to you?
They will come into contact with the fact that marriage requires work. That you can’t just bail or cheat when things get boring or tough
Someone who has a higher body count is more likely to do just that
I don’t make the rules of human nature
You're going to look back on your deathbed and realize how goofy it was...
Every person I know who has been married for over 10+ years has had less than 10 sexual partners. The people I know who had more than that were never able to be faithful to their spouses or partners.
Now that I think about it 🤔 I never really asked old people how many times they screwed 😂 BUT ☝️ I have asked a ton a friends I had growing up, and basically….yea….
The more you hoe
The less you grow ❤
10 is already a ton of people.
Bingo
Sounds like great general advice. ...I'm guessing that it's less than 10 partners by the age of 30... (But then you'd expect them to get into LTR anyway. So maybe until 50 or 60 or until they get divorced or they or their partner dies.)
>>Every person I know who has been married for over 10+ years has had less than 10 sexual partners.
I did 1min fact check and it seems it's pretty liner in most studies. 1 partner is the best option and than it slowly goes down. Meaning the less partners u had the more likely you are to be happy in a marriage. Correct me if I'm wrong but at least when it comes to long term relationships the less partners u had the better as expected.
Facts
I think the study is pointing out that virgins, like myself, aren't attractive in the sense that because its a double edge sword, you are either attractive and saving yourself for marriage OR that virgin is not attractive and you are unwanted. I was wanted for a long time and couldn't get a date. I think people are kind of dumb staking everyone on this fact. People are more multifaceted. Maintaining virginity is important, but if you're not trying to grow in other ways then its not worth it. You might as well go to prostitutes' though I would never encourage it.
@Derelict Signal or they are virgins because they have no sex drive or have issues (physical or mental) around sex.
1 previous is too many.
@@DJFAmenHeavy real high odds you'll have a terrible sex life then. But better odds for a stable marriage for at least till the kids are in high school
Good luck trying to have a serious study on this with everyone lieing. Women will often mention (unprompted) that they "don't have sex on the first date" and then by the end of the date you end up back at her place having sex. I don't even ask/talk about bodycount or prior partners and have no desire to have that conversation as it seems largely unproductive. I know that the majority of women have far more partners than they would ever report in a study that caps out at 12+ as the highest choice. Women will always round down or avoid the topic so taking any of this data as remotely accurate is a joke. There is no way the average woman is going to truthfully bubble in the highest possible number on your survey. It's just part of the dating dance where the man wants to have sex while simultaneously doing it with someone that isn't easy to get and the woman wants to shit test him and make him "earn it" first and seem like she is hard to get. It's a battle of egos where people are horny but they want to larp like they "don't usually act like this".
Thank you. Women lie about absolutely everything when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships especially when it’s going on record even if it’s anonymous. Conversely, men say they care so much about body count but if Scarlett Johansson wanted to be their gf then all of a sudden it wouldn’t matter
That's why you always ask her about her female friends, and study how she talks about the slutz. If she doesn't seem they are too slutty, they probably are them selves.
@@FunnyDolphin782 I mean I get it. I'm not trying to be overly critical of women because they definitely have to get a feel for the guy before they open up honestly about anything involving this topic. A lot of men that feel like they have underachieved sexually carry a lot of resentment with regards to body count. I remember one of my ex's that I was in a long term monogamous relationship with went on a wild streak after we broke up while I was doing my sad boy phase. We talked about it and she said that I would be doing the same thing if I could. Seemed really douchy at the time but tbh it's the truth and got me motivated to get out of my slump and work on myself again. It's just the way things work nowadays and in my mid 30s now I don't take anything seriously anymore and I am not ever going to expect some virgin saint that has just been waiting for 20 years to meet me rofl.
@@CONEHEADDK if you are a guy that doesn't judge the bodycount and they are comfortable around them the truth comes out and the mask gets dropped. Most women are constantly putting on a fake nice girl character and acting ultra polite for society but many of them are the biggest freaks. I just am amazed these dudes out here are silly enough to actually believe some hot girl in her 20s with a large social circle has a body count of 3 or whatever roflllllll.
That, and many women don't even report casual sex as counting because they weren't in a committed relationship with that man at the time. Chicks like dicks, it is what it is. Just have fun and don't be dumb enough to get married unless you are doing it for its actual original purpose of politically aligning your house to another.
The less the better.
Also the less porn the better
i totally agree with the danger of porn
Totally agree
So virgins are the best?
@@karljonson3287 until marriage, yup. Traditional wisdom tends to hold up.
@@sol-hunter2332 good luck then
These videos make me very grateful for my religious upbringing about how important it is to wait till marriage....it's literally a non negotiable for me
As much as I wanna just hand it out like free samples sometimes….
Ya ain’t gonna stay in business for long if you don’t charge somebody for some food 😂❤
how old are you?
Agree, this information should be more common.
That's a nice idea in theory but I know that you are not sexually compatible with every man/woman. I have had a few that I was not compatible with at all. I would not be happy to find this out after marriage as it is an important part of a relationship and having children. Good luck.
@@marniekilbourne608 But if both waited till marriage, you have no reference point so the sex will be amazing anyways. Besides you can grow as a couple, learn, discover.
If you aren't ready to have kids why bother randomly hooking up
Stay single stay on the grind
Wanting a short term relationship seems like such a waist of time. Time is the one commodity we’ll never get back why waste it with someone you don’t see a future with.
>>short term relationship seems like such a waist [waste] of time
@@alexmuenster2102 hireing a vehicle gives you transport and opportunities, what does a short term relationship give you? fun that you'll forget in a month for alot of investment.
@@Jay-vt1mw Wrong! A short-term relationship can provide just as much "added-value" and long-term enrichment as a good steak meal served with fine wine. It can provide pleasant memories that will last a lifetime. It can relieve pent-up pressure in one's seminal vesicle. I could go on...
Increasing the number of partners leads to more comparisons and, consequently, a decrease in relationship satisfaction.
I think genetics actually plays a lot into how promiscuous a person is honestly.
@@taliaeve969 Really??
@@WorkoutCity. yes it’s called the play boy gene
@@taliaeve969 oh, Thanks!
I hear alll the time that men care about women's body count. I've had conversations with tons of my male friends and seen tons of interviews of men saying that they do care
for short-term mating*
That's just like women saying they don't care about a man's past. But 4yrs into the relationship. He brings up something from the past (before he was dating you), and she will get upset.. proof the past does matter..
And those men are insecure. I couldn't give two shits.
@Baki Kaz
Plenty of women DO care about a man's past
A womans past is one of the most important factors for a man. For a woman it's simply one of the many important things.
One night stands reduce value A LOT.!
So glad I was born in 1970. I would hate to be dating today.
Yes that fixes the problem the rest of the people have, thank you
It's a nightmare. A huge mess.
I feel bad for younger gen , who never went to a disco 🪩 🕺 💃🏾 or a 1980s dance club
It's a meaningless mess 😢
So most people weren’t promiscuous back then? From the history books and videos you’d think most were godless hippies who slept with everyone
I'm 62 and have been with only 13. Never married. Still got the juice and healthy.
@@dddayesq5061 just saying : 👍🏻🍀✝️🇺🇲👊🏻
Wonder if there is any filter for age? Meaning 'how many sexual partners per decade of adulthood?' For instance, if I'm considering dating a woman in her late 40s I would expect her to have had more sexual partners than a girl in her early 20s.
and you would be wrong considering that in the last decades with each passing year people have become more sexually promiscuous. XD
@@razvan4188 Really? Younger generations are having less sex and are less interested in sex it seems.
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 I know. I said more promiscuous. Not more sex. When it comes to girls they have sex with more different people than before.
Yes she will have had relationships before you.
It's only the kids that care about "body count" anyway. So I doubt a woman in her 40s or maybe even 30s matter
If you are having sex with someone and not considering marriage and family, you are part of the problem, and passing the trauma of adding to the womans body count to the next guy. I think it is super selfish if you both have not discussed marriage and waited a while to get to know one another, their family, and values. The idea that marrying a virgin is to be avoided is ridiculous. Delayed gratification is so much better. We as a society have separated family and sex and it is blatantly apparent. We are not here to fuck and then have families, we are here to have families and have sex and communicate the wonder of sex with family rather than hide our pasts. It is not good for anyone to have dark spots in our past that prevent us from being free. Children sense this behavior and then mimic the examples set before them, and the cycle gets worse every generation.
Absolute nonsense and an incredible amount of entitlement. You're basically saying that because other men are insecure, men shouldn't have sex with women they don't want to marry? I'd say a man caring about a women's body count is more an insecurity on the man. Let people live their life, jesus christ
@@user-xx7tv7cc1y it’s absolutely nothing to do with insecurity, I’m extremely self assured, I know who I am, and I know what I want out of life. Yet if I find out a woman’s got a high number of sexual partners, I am disgusted to my very core. I see it as a sign of degeneracy, pain and insecurity, of which I don’t want to be passed down to my offspring if this woman was to mother my children. Societal monogamy should be encouraged or else the future will be very very grim for both genders, believe me
@@olsmarshall Well, other people see it differently. And to say they are "part of the problem", just makes you sound like a religious nut. People are free to do what they want, it's entirely possible for people to have many sexual partners and still be normal human beings. I can almost guarantee there's many things about you that would disgust other people, but the key is that they let you live. Live and let live. "degeneracy, pain and insecurity," or, they love having sex with many different people because of the variety of things they can find out about themselves.
@Oliver Marshall
Are you disgusted with yourself to the very core if you do it recreationally and have a high body count?
@@wyleecoyotee4252 yes
For the record, this stats refer to what people think is attractive, not what predicts long term relationship health.
A really good observation. And I think the decades ahead will show just how things will pan out as far as how the hook up culture 20 and 30 somethings will fare when they actually want to settle down with someone long term.
I think it's personal preference. For me, I really wanted one person, or as few as possible. Luckily, I got what I wanted and have only been with my husband. What I wanted in a male partner was the exact same. I wanted a partner with very very few or none.
I'm a woman, 38 y.o. and I had sex with 9 different men and with 1 woman before I got married. Happily married for 13 years now and have never been really wanting anyone else than my husband since then. He used to have psychological and physical problems for several years, so that for the last 10 years we only had sex once per year or less (it's geting better now). Sex is such a vital part of a relationship for me, but I remained faithful. In my case, the high body count before marriage was mostly me not knowing what I really want and the societal pressure to always be dating someone. By the way, my husband never asked about my body count, neither did I ask him.
Also, before marriage, I used to be a webcam model (my husband knows it). And it actually was a useful experience, it made me much more relaxed and open to experiments in bed. My social skills have improved and so did my self-care.
Do you considering 9 a high count for a 30 y.o woman? Also curious how many were relationships vs casual
@@Ryan-xb3qq It was 10 overall (9 men and 1 woman). Personally I see it as high for me (age 38 now), because the experience I gained there could all have been gained within one single relationship. I mean emotional experience as well as experience in bed.
2 of them were relationships, 3 were casual for the other partner but I hoped for relationship (silly me), the rest 5 were definitely casual from my side.
@@Ryan-xb3qq 9 is high regardless of age
>>By the way, my husband never asked about my body count, neither did I ask him.
Is it me? I'm a bit confused about the whole 'short-term' term. I don't think I've ever looked at a potential girlfriend as 'short-term.' I've been in relationships where at some point, I've thought "She isn't for me" but never in the beginning. Of course I'm one of those guys with a 'low body count' (a terrible phrase, btw).
You're physically attracted to someone, but there are major red flags / differences where you know you won't be with that partner for 7+ years. Could be their: attitude towards money; their weight; how you two argue; her extended family; whether one of you relocates or plans to; etc.
I agree that the term 'body count' is TERRIBLE. How dehumanising.
@@permissiontoshine people who rack those numbers up dehumanize themselves so it's alright to use it
@@FeterPrahm I won't use it. I feel sorry for most people caught in this kind of false reality sold to them as 'success'.
@@Idontknowhoiamanymore ummmnnnhhh - body count is used during war - 'the body count from this attack is...' and for death tolls from natural disasters; mass murders and more. Anywhoooo, I'm not here to argue the finer points of language and grateful I'm not part of anyone's body count sexually.
Women don't seem to care about body count but I am certain men do. On the point where men were asked individually, was it anonymous? A lot of men won't tell you they care about it in the fear that they will get cancelled.
Women DO care about body count and don't want guys with high body counts either.
Women do care about high body cou t Who wants a man who has been round the block 50 times.
@@jodawson5268 Most women choose that man over the one with low body count. It's a fact.
@@oemj7147 Most women might not have much sense. Or, otherwise they're sort of similar in their history and perhaps just don't admit it.
>>On the point where men were asked individually, was it anonymous?
Beware! Important difference: Women prefer a Chad with low count but they will still choose him over avg Joe even if Chads count is in the hundreds. Meanwhile a guy will pick the avg girl over the hot babe in the same situation!
While it may be true that men and women have a similar preference in partner count when it comes to relationships, this statistic DOES NOT reveal how DECISIVE this preference is compared to other parameters
Women can’t rate guys properly they wouldn’t even know what a chad is
Having watched PLENTY of young guys ignore or try to backburner good women in the pursuit of getting laid as much & as quickly as possible, I can say without a doubt, many guys will pick just as poorly as a lot of women do. Especially when they're young.
@@Justanothercog24 Not for a relationship, only for P&D
@@SirCalculator I've definitely watched it & warned several guys what they were getting themselves into. They didn't ever want to listen though. Young guys especially have a short-term, path-of-least-resistance mentality which more often than not does bite them in the a$$.
Then there's the fact that a guy has to be in the right headspace to notice, appreciate & keep a good woman when she comes along. If a dude is stuck in the p&d mentality, he's only going to see every chick as a potential lay until he shifts gears to do & find better. A good woman's personality & character doesn't mean anything to guy who ONLY wants to get laid which is something a lot of ppl seem to forget. You can't be chasing both thots & good women at the same time either... no one lands a quality catch while they're splashing around in shallow mudpuddles.
@@kc6810 Yeah they are, why are women known for gassing up there friends or random women then? Telling 4s that they look gorgeous or hot….. yeah frickin great at rating bro
I would’ve assumed Jewish, Muslim and Christians would find virgins the most ideal. I really would’ve guessed zero to be the most preferred. The idea of asking a religious person about short term mating seems unusual as this would go against their person beliefs around marriage and relationships.
Depends on whether you're a man or a woman. Men can more easily have a lot of sexual partners without being emotionally affected. Women usually can't. The second they understand they're nothing more than a body to most of the guys they had sex with, it breaks them.
No joke, I knew a woman that had sex with lots of guys and was getting angry because they wouldn't have anything more to do with her(to be fair, she was a coont most of the time but an easy 8). She came up with the bright idea of turning the tables and was gonna give the next guy whatever he wanted and when he came back for more, tell him she was just using him and decline. Except she didn't get that call and she went NUTS.
Women aren't equipped to handle meaningless sex the way guys can. Just basic facts.
@@joane24 Men on average can manage their emotions better than women. THAT'S why it affects them less; they can reason and understand that the interaction does not have a 'deeper' meaning than it actually does while women tend to believe the opposite. Which, to some degree, is understandable since they are more vulnerable and they are literally allowing someone inside of them.
Your explanation to your beliefs demonstrate what I said; you cannot separate your emotional response to what you read(likely because many women _feel_ men are essentially just mal-adjusted women) from men's ability not to be controlled by their feelings. i.e. they can tell the difference between the act of sex being done simply for physical pleasure and that of an actual connection with a person.
The horrible truth that none of us want to hear. Because there's a certain vindictive element to "fucking like a man" for women. Only, we end up playing ourselves instead. We also get dehumanised and have crappy sex more often than not, in the process.
@@joane24 Women can get pregnant once every nine months, men can ejaculate several times a day. Extrapolate from there on why men and women have a different relationship with sex.
Also women don't have to work for sex. At least nothing compared to what a man has to do for it
@@black-aliss Thank you, yes. And some guys fall into this as well, but, mostly women and it DOESN'T help anyone. Even though guys can separate sex from love, if they can combine both, it's better. Even the few guys I know that have been with loads of women have said it. The guys are happier, the women are happier, and on the whole, relationships are stronger.
Yo Chris, is there a link to this study? Curious minds wanna see the graphs!
Same here.
What a depressive world we live in
Agree that 4-5 would be optimal, but I wonder if this is just a conflated ideological fantasy? Sort of like the online dating profiles of women listing essentially the unicorn Chad. Yeah, they exist, but what's the likelihood of actually landing one?
I assume there is a connection to the average sexual partners of each person. If one has a high body count that person would also be more open to a high body count from the potential partner in my opinion. I believe "4" is not to far from this average (in Germany/Middle Europe)
Or maybe you just can’t trust their genitals 🤔
You'd hope so.
If its becoming habitual, and out of habit because its 'expected' then its time to concider fewer sexual partners, untill you meet someone, that you've rembered from the night before.
Im under 10 by a few. And I often simultaneously feel it is too many and too few. I have no issues with being with a virgin, the odds of finding one in my 30s is close to 0%. But i wouldnt be with someone who has more than me.
You're too promiscuous. You can't pair bond anymore.
@@sarahrobertson634 there are studies suggesting that for men they aren't affected as much by a higher number of partners than women are, so i disagree with you.
@@sarahrobertson634 lol you have no clue about me. You couldnt be farther from the truth.
@@sarahrobertson634 Nonsense, that’s were I was at when I got married. Still married after decades to the same person.
@@jayc342009 you are right "not as much" but they are also affected, a 5 in a woman is like a 7 or 8 body count in a man.
I'm curious how much porn impacts pair bonding, because I know it does, but it's hardly studied to my understanding.
There definitely are some studies out there on this. It's just that particular feild of study is still relatively new since the p*rn boom only really ramped up with the increase of technology.
Part of what scientists are seeing is that since oxytocin (the bonding hormone) is released during org@sm, it essentially causes regular p*rn users to bond to p*rn instead of an actual person. Coupled with the ease of availability & the dopamine rush, you have the spark of addiction.
You’re reaching now lol it has nothing to do with pairbonding…
@@moonknight4053 I don't know... I hear stories of kids who haven't even entered puberty already having lost their virginity. I think that that's a pretty good indication of damage done to human ability these days to take sexual intercourse seriously.
I don't think this is a question we can answer with science alone. Culture matters a hell of a lot. We know of cultures that historically were very open to multi partner mating, and of course we know of cultures where notions of purity were the main concern.
I think this is a software, not a hardware question. And as such it will vary based on your personal beliefs and culture. But just knowing there were cultures were promiscuity was not seen as a problem, to me shows that there isn't one single answer.
At last, a comment with some nuance and without a spiteful undercurrent
At least from a Darwinian perspective, there is an answer. What was the fate of said promiscuous cultures especially their abilities to grow families, communities etc? Morally and pragmatically, what good does promiscuity deliver for the betterment of humanity? There were cultures in which slavery was not seen as a problem, the fact that promiscuity wasn't seen as wrong at some point in a culture in the past is really not a valid reason for us to structure our society based on the same practices.
Ah yes the mythical woke poly-cultures of our imaginary past.
I hear cannibalism was big in the old days, which to me as a practicing cannibal in the modern day is very affirming. I have dietary euphoria.
@joetheboy04 it isn't that black and white. What we consider "monogamous societies" definitely had their share of premarital sex, cheating, etc. Even modern societies where slavery has been abolished have no shortage of trafficking/pr*stitution, forced labor and exploitation of migrants. I think these are perennial human issues that get dressed up or down depending on societal values, but they will exist as long as we do.
Over how many years? 10 by the time you are 18 is not the same as 10 by the time you are 40.
As a woman I was skeptical of a man who had even 1 sexual partner. I didn’t want someone who isn’t a virgin so I’m not sure how these numbers add up.
@@canadaisruledbyclowns7188 yes I was before I married a man who also was. Its a pretty easy decision if you’re married to them .
Fact is a male is never virgin. The hymen is the virginity, masturbation is sex.
@@canadaisruledbyclowns7188wouldn’t that be the exact reason why that huge decision should be connected to the other huge decision on choosing who your going to spend the rest of your life with.
The numbers add up just fine, don't worry...
>>As a woman I was skeptical of a man who had even 1 sexual partner.
Clickbait. My count is 3 and I'm turning 50 this year. One early mistake, the woman I married and had a kid with and now the woman I'm with. What the hell does it matter? All I know is that I'm happy with the woman I'm with, and sex comes from the relationship - not the other way around.
2 is too many. Take inventory of those who chose right and they’re the most happy. The more the worst!
No. It's like people who don't drink....all your stories are boring...People who havent experienced and made mistakes havent lived at all.
@@WesTV if you need to bang women to have stories you're doing something wrong.
@@WesTV Nah, we were just raised better than you :)
@@WesTVwhat a stupid comparison. Partners vs drinking? You can't be serious
@@gadohimself fr. It's such a lame excuse and a dumb reasoning
How about this. People telling you what they desire mightbe and often is very different from what attracts them really.
Questionnaires are unreliable.
Superb interview as always Chris!
zero is the right number, once you put a number different from zero it is just subjective and that number will be keep moving up every 5 years.
and in some moment in the future +50 will be "the new normal" why 5 and not 6 ? and why not 7? and so on
Extremely based
There used to be a convenient term for “high body-count” women which also expressed their undesirability. It’s a four letter word which begins with ‘SL’ and ends with a ‘T’. There is always some significant dysfunction at the heart of promiscuity. Sex for the sake of validation, which encompasses the vast majority of female sexual behaviour, is ultimately self-defeating. It is, however, a rapid and reliable way of greatly reducing one’s value for essentially zero benefit. It wouldn’t be surprising to discover that many women encourage this denigrating practice in others in order to elevate themselves (relatively speaking).
never back down on that statement because some people prefer the brainwashing and we need to have the truth heard.
Seems solid and fair to me. Women go for men in the following order:
1. High morals and high options (high morals mean nothing if options are what dictate your circumstances).
2. High options low morals (these guys at least eventually marry, he is a challenge "But I can fix him")
3. High morals, low options (such as religious men, the self-righteous and arrogant hypocrites).
4. Low morals, low options (bitter porn watching perv looking to embrace sexual double standards he has no resources/value to enforce).
3:10 : or they could have been dating but know to save themselves for marriage instead of losing self control
I think high school bf, plus uni bf, plus one mistake is acceptable. My wife says she had one before me (high school bf) but I assume that means three. I long ago accepted nearly all women lie about this, or they don’t count the mistakes
They also do not count any one night stands.
Multiply by 3
It really is possible that she only had one before you, have faith
This is fair. My wife and (together 25 years) both had 1 ltr in college before meeting each other. I don't think you need to mistrust your wife because of what you've read on the internet. Most of the "manosphere" is about tricking dumb skanks into bed, not "normal" women who put up healthy barriers to strange guys. Women always have opportunities, but if she has self control, doesn't mean she took them.
@Ronins Journey not high enough since at least 2000*. Women have 4x the std rate so 4x would be a minimum.
Basically, a lot of women share the few top catches on pickup apps.
* I didn't want to reGoogle the health data but I vaguely this number covers all women thru age 44 two years ago, so 18 to 46 now. At age 45+, in 2020, the std rate was the same as for men.
And that 4x std rate is hard *data*, not voluntary disclosure.
I still think there has to be somewhat of a difference in how people view it from the male and female side. For a man to have a high body count, he has to put a lot of work in or have something impressive going on for him: fame, success, charisma. For an average or even below average woman to have a high body count she just has to say yes and breathe. It's more impressive to do something hard than easy, that's where the perceived distinction comes from.
both are for the streets regardless the gender, filthy just filthy no debate on this lol
@@Nextzzt789 Wrong... women control access to sex, men do not.
To an extent, yes. However, the other side of the coin to that is that men find it easier to cheat and women tend to lose their sex appeal in middle aged, whilst men actually even make gains. Which probably explains why more men cheat as they get older.
So I actually don't agree with your take on things. And a man who could sleep around a lot has very little to stop him doing so when he gets to be middle aged with, most likely, a partner of the same age who, because she's female and the same age, is now less sexy than him.
...There is also the question of sexual compatibility. I find my self not particularly capable of committing to (or even having a casual fling with) a man who is inclined to sleep around easily. I just would not feel secure or safe with them. And not feeling secure of safe would kill off any initial attraction I would have.
@@davepazz580 Yes. But it is also not that black and white. And certainly not so black and white for all people. 😉
@@lambchop6278 Not sure how you mean "not so black and white for all people"... if you're a woman, you will control the act of sex, as it isn't going to happen without the woman willingly granting it.
If you're a man, you really have no control over the act of sex taking place... all you can do is try to be as attractive as possible and hope the woman finds you valuable enough to grant sex to.
But the certainty of the act taking place isn't in a man's hands.
Are there any scientific research about how multiple partners affect men and women differently? Like hormonwise or anything else? Because everyone assumes it is not the same but without any evidence.
First, check out for chimerism (just a friendly advice), and then return and tell your opinion on the matter.
@@ortros1 Chimerism is ret@rdism.
@@ortros1 could you explain what do you mean exactly ?
@@realmadrid-cx8yd horizontal DNA sharing maybe? A male(s) DNA found in female bodies (including in their brains) that became a part of her body?
Feel like after you reach a certain age, you don't really discuss Bodycount anymore. Typically, I've only asked about body count when I was
Really? I'm in my 30s and women talk about it with me all the time. My friends say the same. Maybe it depends on where you live (my experience is in big cities).
@@arwynanne you should if you want a relationship, that has an actual future
*I'm in my 30s and agree this is quite juvenile. Most adults with life experience, their own homes and lives etc. don't concern themselves with other people's sex lives.*
Funny how women don't likewise think it would be "juvenile" to be concerned about a man's financial state and status after a certain age...
"Most adults with life experience, their own homes and lives etc. don't concern themselves with other people's financial lives."
@@arwynanne hahaha that's very convenient for you I guess
@@davepazz580 I observe you, analyze you and admire you
"We studied that" Okay, stop. So you are basing your entire opinion on hypothetical scenarios that people answered to in a questionaire? At that point you might as well just guess.
Asking women their preferences and then seeing the reality of their choices.
Facts
1) Men will always prefer their fair virgin maiden princess and women will always prefer their tall handsome Prince Charming.
2) Women view a high body count in men as a positive that there’s something great in him that all women want, so therefore she wants him.
3) Men see a high body count in women as a negative in that there’s a high risk of catching STD, weak commitment and loyalty issue from the women, and weak ability to pair bond and love the man as a husband due to desensitizing of sex with many men.
I wasn't very popular in high school but in my late teens I hit my stride and tore through women, lots and lots of very attractive women but other than looks and an attitude (which was all an act) I didn't have much to offer. Decades later and I'm for the most part the person I've tried to be with a great career and lots of assets and there are NO women of value within a 15 year range. I men the outlook is BLEAK!
That’s likely because the good ones got married, and stayed married. It’s the same with men.
One of the interesting realities is that some males peaking in college is a real thing. The jocks have their time then the rest of mankind catches up. You had your chance just like the ladies did.
This is especially scary when you look at how women can get half of your assets from before you even met them, the divorce rate and "so what do you do for a living" as the standard conversation starter.
Care to elaborate? I find it difficult to believe that a man that had an easy time dating when he was younger can't find suitable mate when he is older, and has a lot more to offer. What exactly are you looking for?
@@K3r0411 The "good one" haha most people I know who are married are obese living unhappy, meaningless lives. I only know a few men who married women of any value. I'm a bullet dodger, you are probably stuck with a soul crushing cow. Most of the "jocks" I knew in high school turned into losers. I'm 6'3" and still athletic. If high school was your zenith you're not doing it right.
Saying that women will “share” a high value man does not make sense because a man who wants more than one partner makes him low value. Just fyi.
So why do all the rich men and high status men often have more than one woman?
its allways been like that also, since beginning of time.
Just read a history book and you will see that all the kings etc had multible women.
@@josefinandersson7646 One good reason: Because in those times, women could not have much agency. They were not able to work for a living for themselves. Also, divorce is much easier now than it was before the 1960s.
So, that's why. ...I also count my self as a woman who wouldn't be inclined to share a man, regardless of how glamorous, attractive or wealthy he would be. In fact, it's a considerable turn off for me if I find out a guy isn't a faithful type. I lose attraction pretty quickly. And what was gold becomes glitter in my eyes.
@@lambchop6278 Women are known for talking a big game then doing the exact opposite once the real situation comes around...
Even today, you will find plenty of women perfectly willing to "share" a man provided he is really improving their standing in life... i.e. improving/providing financial security they don't want to spend the rest of their lives attaining themselves.
As much as you may deny this, women instinctively understand failure to secure a man that can provide for them very well will lead to feelings of unfulfillment in life... so being able to work and make money today vs. whatever time ago really doesn't mean much.
What numbers are ment? F.e. 4 sexual partners aß optimum mean only relationships or relationships AND one night stands hookups combined number ... ?
Maybe because of the high body counts these days. It makes the younger generation happier to be single, I don't think they feel they are missing out. They are probably find it creepy that people want to indulge in everything.
Makes any generation happier to br single
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Except the women won't be happy being single in the long run...
@davepazz580
Sure they are happy.
They realize a marriage would be worse.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 There are way too many tiktoks made by older single women that disprove this...
@@davepazz580
There are many more women living their best lives not posting on Tiktok. Those Tiktok women are not representing the entire single female population.
Im exceedingly picky and remain celibate. I’m almost asexual until I actually find potential husband material and attraction. One of my body counts shouldn’t count because I said no and he still proceeded to do what he wanted. I wasn’t ready and it was too early in the talking stage. That should also be taken into consideration, if you were abused or groomed into having sex.
Men's standards do change over time, so a snapshot survey is fundamentally flawed.
Not really...
Body count of both men and women matter. Sex exposes a man and a woman to STDs. Not all STDs are tested for (HPV and HMV are not plus many many more). Only the most common are tested for so the more partners you have the more risk for either.
Also the research that I've read shows that people with higher body counts tend to have more psychological disorders. Additionally, they also have a harder time emotionally connecting during sex.
It really only matters for women...
@@davepazz580 That's just not true. Look up Macken Murphy he is a respected researcher and has found that body count for men is important. Men with higher body counts are more likely to cheat. Women tend to prefer a lower body count. Check it out yourself.
If women "tend" to prefer men with lower body counts (which is another way of saying women are just men without penises), then the largest majority of men today who are in fact, either virgins or have very low body counts would be *constantly* chased after by the large majority of women...
But this isn't happening at all... such men are statistically the *least* desired men by women today.
The men that *most* women are constantly pursuing are men that every other woman also wants, in other words, men with *high* body counts...
Macken Murphey can take his "research" and shove it where the sun doesn't shine...
As a proud 32-year-old virgin (not for religious reasons either), I can attest that men with high body counts are just as disgusting as women with high body counts. It's repulsive both ways, no double standards in My world LOL.
Both men and women have their inate nature. And there is good and bad in both.
How we are conditioned in life from a very early age has a massive impact on the adults/ppl we become.
If a woman grows up in a loving home, with a great/trusting relationship with her father and brothers, sees and trusts their masculinity and sees her father treating her mom well and her mom responding to it in a reseporcating and positive way.
She knows what the standard of behaviour is expected for her community and they hold her accountable.
If she suffers no childhood trauma and is not body shamed and judged on her beauty as he's starts her adolescents (wears a hijab).
Often for women their first time can be full of trauma and a bad experience. So too, having relationships out side of a loving, committed relationship (marriage) can have negative effects. So don't sleep around.
Add to that medications: antidepressants, birth control, alcohol, drugs and social media/gossip, consumer culture with a toxic bunch of "friends". And a high body count.
Is it any wounder one would see perhaps a negative behaviour and conditioning.
And could this sometimes manifest itsself in some perhaps "deviant" se***ul behaviour.?
In islam we have introduced marriage to ppl form our own tried and tested social circle, that is international in nature, as we are of all races and nationality.
We get married and form families without playing expensive dating games that lead to nowhere.....
You wouldn't be able to have EVERYTHING in life and in a relationship.
But as long as it got attraction and mutual respect, then learn to have patience and compromise.
>>As a proud 32-year-old virgin [...], I can attest that men with high body counts are just as disgusting as women
Surprised age wasn’t even mentioned. One would think it’s an important factor.
I'm 60. I wrote every name I could think down and some nameless scenarios just to take a look at myself. I was astounded not so much at the body count but my memory being in tact. 😢
😂😂😂😂🎉
Why are you sad. U seemingly enjoyed 😅
@@travelswithdina.7 somewhat I did enjoy, although some of those memories were painful.
@@blakebunch4485 i think when we mature we know this behavior was childish & perhaps unacceptable
@@travelswithdina.7 Maybe, and maybe that was all the maturity I had developed at the time. Anyways good chatting and thanks for engaging civilly.
Thanks for talking about this caricaturizarion of men and womens’ preferences. I think redpill thinking has tainted mainstream thought.
The red pill is a result of mainstream culture
Not the bastion of knowledge and truth that is mainstream thought, oh no!
1…. I come from generations of 0 premarital partners. It’s just a more real family feeling. It’s not even a consideration. You can have seggs with your wife. But can’t wife your seggs partners. Different material. This is life.
Just type "sex".
@@madwilliamflint thx, just making sure yt doesn’t give me “error” ;)
@@xeropunt5749 This isn’t TikTok. You only get banned if you make videos not if you post an “inappropriate” comment lol
@@FunnyDolphin782
certain word or combination of words, will automatically delete your _comment_ .
Are you 80? Or from India? They have a big rape problem there.
That is an excellent question.
If she got more than me (0) then that’s nasty 😂
honestly... yeah. unfortunately that's probably considered bodyshaming or sth in society today so we can't say that out loud😮💨
@@jacemid67 depends on how old you are
Same
It's a very big spectrum, English countries still counts single digit partners as normal but as you go middle East it starts to count as not good and as you go east further, more than 1 or 2 is considered bad. So it all depends on a lot of aspects.
How old are you?!
Nope this is the one thing in life you don't need to test drive. Married 30 years and we were both first time boyfriend and girlfriend and virgins. Trust is what keep people together. Someone who's got your back. Someone who doesn't gossip about you behind your back and someone who is always on your side and there for you. Trust is like an egg you can't unbreak it. Marriages fail because of selfish unreliable people.
Don't know Don't care. As long as my numbers are up, then idc. Anways, if you ask, she can flat out lie. Especially if she senses you're that type of dude who does care. Have boundaries fellas, but probably not the body count one so much.
Wow this data really makes men on YT look bad.
All this "body count! body count!"
It doesn't seem to actually matter. It's just men being whiny that she's just not that into you.
Me at 30 with zero…..
who cares? your not missing out on anything dont force it like bukowski said...."Dont try"
@@brentchackel8649how do I know that?
atleast you’re clean 😊
You could end up better off. ...Take a look at comments here by men who've slept around a lot and now want to be in a committed relationship but struggle to because of their persistent desire for variety in a partner.
Looks to me like a person makes a compromise whether they like it or not. And whether they are female or not.
Love or Lust.
Our current culture only gives so much room to get both. You can. But the internet (along with the pill) just has opened the floodgates as far as being bombarded by perceived options and temptation.
Surprise surprise, it isn't just women who have to sacrifice. Now men get to also experience being forced to grapple with the Hoare or Madonna complex just as women were forced to before sexual liberation, and the pill.
It's a pity that our culture couldn't be a little more gentle. As it's pretty cut throat overall I'd say.
Still, I'm not complaining. As, ironically, I've benefited from being in a culture that went against my nature. Learned a lot about the opposite gender and it's put me at an advantage now, I believe.
What # of lifetime partners is most common? I've heard 3-5 is the average but that is probably skewed by a lot of 1-2s and a handful in the hundreds. I've averaged one partner per year since i was 16: some relationships, some flings, and some dry spells. For being a pretty normal guy, I wouldn't have expected 20 to be such a high number
depends on if you are a player joe if you looking for a LTR you may be a loser who gets dumped?
@liamrivero7839 Not everyone is a good long-term match for you, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself along the way. Being with people you actually like and treating each other with respect isn't a bad thing.
"I wouldn't have expected 20 to be such a high number." Agreed; I'm at 17, and I guess I'm *waaaayyyy* above average.
@@M0viLover I really don't think it is nowadays, from social and attractive girls I've met, mid-high teen count by late 20s is common. Dating is so different nowadays, people care about sexual compatibility and getting their needs filled so there's not much reason to hold back early, and then many guys dip on them
Yes you are essentially right, IIRC in the UK it's something like 50% less than 2 partners, 75% less than 5 partners and 90% less than 10 partners. Also a typical woman has less partners than a typical man but a few women have very high numbers which evens the average to be the same as men (as it must be). Basically all the high numbers men are sleeping with the same very small group of very high numbers women. Even though hooking up has become more accepted, younger generations are having less partners on average, not more as is often portrayed. The TLDR is that even today, promiscuity is very much a tiny minority sport, the popularity of which is blown out of all proportion by various media because 'sex sells'.
I can relate to this. I dont have a huge body count as a man but most of mine came after my divorce. But it effected me in attaching to someone because i would start missing being with multiple women and the newness of different girls. My ex girlfriend just left me for a guy with a body count that he cant when recall a round about of how many girls he slept with. Lost count. She is thinking marriage with him. I cant imagine that will last due to his history. He will be more likely to cheat on her in the future. Especially aftwe they have a child.
Here’s where the body count discussion is always lacking. If you want to discover what is really going on in the mind of women with high body counts you find one who is now past her prime, the one who regrets it and now lives with the psychological scars. The 23 year old chick hot chick who sees nothing wrong with it isn’t the example to set forth. The 50 year old woman who deals with flashbacks, wakes up from nightmares, finds showering humiliating because it requires her to be naked and avoids even looking in a mirror because it disgusts her. Those are the one’s who need to be given a voice. I guarantee you that they have more to reveal about the negative aspects of a high body count better than someone who just arrogantly spouts off empty rhetoric.
That's extreme and the type of behavior of a women who suffered sexual and emotional abuse via childhood and potentially adult relationships. Most women I know over 50, who have over 10-15 partners to be realistic...they have basically sworn off men and are thriving in life alone with their pets , family for those who had children and were married once and a community of women their age. Men are equally at fault for the divorce rate - via lazyness, complacency , and basically being shit husbands. Red pill. women leave and file first. Women live longer happier and healthier lives single and without men, where men are suicidal and unhappy alone.
I have a past and yet never cheated, had one night stands , or anything of that nature. The only thing i regret is having a big heart when the men was choosing were terrible partners or basically lying on who they were. Im SO happy celibate and single going on 2 years. I would never allow this narritive to affect how I value myself because my charachter is intact and life is a series of self improvement :) God Bless.
@@sophrosyne5900 stop chatting shite dear, you can spout muppet all you want and lie to yourself but that don't change reality.
@@sophrosyne5900 lol
@@sophrosyne5900 ❤❤❤ thank you for your comment. Your day will be blessed ✨
but also if it’s meant to be in your life path to partner with a man he will come and be tailor made to you love ❤ keep doing the self work that you’re clearly doing 🤗 x
@@sophrosyne5900 The women you know who are thriving alone with their pets and a community of women their age? Those people used to be referred to as raging alcoholics.
ive been with 27, i am a 27 year old male, is that too many?
No
Yeah
Not at all
When you are just ticking boxes
The standard is different for men and women. Accept it.
Depends on how much allowance you make. I don't believe in big differences between men and women. To me, like belongs with like. I won't bother wasting my faithfulness on a man who slept around a lot. Not my type.
@@lambchop6278 Men can't "sleep around" because men don't control access to sex... women do.
Women always seem to believe men are pretty much just like women with the exact same mindset when it comes to dating.... nothing could be further from the truth, there are indeed *big* differences between the two.
3 to 4? Isn't that just a starter?
What about 25-30yo virgins with 0 body count? 90% of people in my age bracket has had relationships. I won't be able to pair bond, because I have no experience being with women and because of my inexperience I'll mess it up and will never know what to do when with a woman. I'm used to being alone my entire life. There's that too.
You didn't do any research on the matter? Just to get an insight (if nothing else). That way you'll at least have a chance (and You will be able to develop stronger feelings towards her).
" I won't be able to pair bond, because I have no experience being with women and because of my inexperience I'll mess it up and will never know what to do when with a woman"
You're writing this as if it were a forgone conclusion, as if you had 0 agency over what happens next. You've got more control over what happens than you care to give yourself. Plus, you'll probably find many women in the same boat. If this podcast has taught me anything, it's that modern dating dynamics are pretty fucked up for women and men alike.
@@mitchellthomas2686 Either way I don't see myself ever being in a relationship. That's life. We always want what we cannot have. I have to accept that having a woman by my side is something I'll never have. Destined to die a virgin rip. I always wanted to travel the world with the woman I love. Guess I'll have to travel and see the world alone. That's something at least worth experiencing for me before I leave this world.
@Troy Hailey I don't watch porn. It's disgusting and fake. Not good for the brain. Plus last I heard women see men with no dating experience as a red flag.
There's a difference between having sex and being capable of maintaining a relationship. Go out and make some friends, learn to be sociable because it sounds like you're way too in your head about this. The best success I've had is when you're not actively looking: it just kinda falls into place unexpectedly
My friend has a body count of 65
As a straight man, I feel sorry for how many I’ve been with. (Sex fills holes not voids) So for these modern “women” to be proud: stop the cap.
If they weren't raised with the right values they will be victimized by whatever propaganda gets to them first.
what about the fact that so many women lie, "low ball," often greatly low ball, their number?
4? Lol that’s not what Red pill teaches, “apparently” all us women have to be godly saints with zero body count and these men have a wife and side chicks lol 🤣
❤️
Stop backward double standards
I'm not proud of my past sexual proclivities but considering 36 was the highest number referenced, apparently I'm FAR from "optimal." Thankfully I'm married with a bunch of children today.
You should be, what you achieved was only possible for kings and royalty historically. Plus you seem to have had a happy ending, don’t listen to this horseshit
I wish I knew that when I turned 20.
A man should never ask a woman her body count because either one of two things will happen, and neither of them have good outcomes:
1. She’ll tell you the truth or;
2. She’ll lie
If you’re looking to have a LTR with a woman you can’t just flat out ask her how many guys she’s been with before you, that’s what a woman asks a man.
A man must deduce this from a combination of factors, such as, how experienced she seems when it comes to sex (hard to do if you’re a guy with limited sexual experiences) and the types of women she surrounds herself with (their level of promiscuity).
The onus is on the man to deduce her body count and if that number ends up being too high for him, well that’s down to his own internal value system. To ask a woman her body count outright is a fruitless endeavour because if she has strong feelings towards the guy, she will want to portray herself in the best light possible (naturally), however, this now opens the door to dishonesty, which in my opinion is a lot more destructive to a LTR.
Asking a woman her count is such a weak move. I’ve never even considered asking a girl, just didn’t even occur to me. I am confident that, no matter what happens, the time we spend together will be incredible and I hope the best she ever has had. If we were meant to be, then we will stay together. If not, that was meant to be too, and was the universe bringing together two humans to make beautiful ephemeral art.
I always ask
fuck it I would ask
@@onward-fp2fz bc you are insecure. You are afraid her previous lover was “better” whatever it means or had a bigger dick 😂😂😂 I laugh bc it so “male” problem and we only use this argument bc we know it really pisses you off. 😂😂😂 better think a bit who made you think you are not enough- bc I can tell you as a woman - it is really what makes your life and the life of your woman miserable. Sometimes people break up bc they think you are horrible and sometimes you are - but usually people break up just bc they don’t like being together. And it doesn’t mean you are less not enough not good and so on. Just not compatible.
Unprotected sex can kill you so it's worth knowing all the facts before you make such a huge decision. If she lies, that says a lot about her. Perhaps she isn't relationship material.
How about we stop counting and start treating each other with respect.
Ask yourself/potential partner what’s my/your ultimate goal in dating and hold yourself accountable for your own actions rather than engaging in high risk behaviours and hypocritically judging others for the same?
so ur are a 304
🤣🤣🤣 You're right, it's the counting that's the issue here. If we didn't count age no one would get old. If we didn't count money we would all be rich. If we didn't count bodies everyone would be a suitable mate. Oh wait that's idiotic nonsense.
@@FoolioDisplacius Typical NPC Behavior. Women ☕ ha ha ha
Sorry Amelia but your past will always follow you.
“A good laugh is sunshine in the house.”- William Makepeace Thackeray
Thanks for the sunshine boys. 😂
also as gross as this is, the amount of partners someone currently has if you're just hooking up with someone is also a huge factor imo. HU culture is gross because each side can be hooking up with 3 people at a time.
No hymen No diamond 💍
7-8 is considered to be a virgin. Man they sure are changing definitions left and right.
When I was single and partied a lot I still would be put off by a trashy behavior a girl that I was interested in showed. On the other hand people I used to party with thought my body count was much higher than in reality. Just on the basis how many women they saw me with.
Same, my ex completely refused to believe she was my first simply because of my party lifestyle, interest from other girls and confidence in the bedroom. She was extremely jealous and constantly engaged in mate guarding right from the start. Almost like women equate attraction with experience not the other way round.
Just look up divorce rates by premarital partners. Then look up who initiates divorce. If every guy looking for marriage/long term knew those two, he wouldn't even entertain anyone with more than 3/4 bodies.
💯 true 👏
Oh and don't forget to also look up the top 10 reasons for divorce ..then hopefully men will get a clue on what they are doing wrong! 🙂 Blessings
@@courtneyeliza5614 There are plenty of "reasons" for Divorce. But besides abuse and infidelity, they're all just excuses for being too lazy to make it work. And looking at the statistics (not my opinion) women who have more partners before marriage simply don't want to make things work. Marriage vows be damned.
80% of divorces are iniciated by women.
@@tobir693Maybe they're less likely also to put up with male infidelity. And they're less naive to it. Which goes with their 'can't beat em, join em' approach to the culture of permissiveness. More men still cheat than women. And they do so more the older they get.
Serious question: what you’re not just into social interaction, full stop?
212 woah , massive flex 💪💯 gigachad
So 1. The fact that there's so much confusion proves how important *one* is.
How many previous sexual partners is too many *for what*? What are people assuming to be true for different numbers here?
For context, I'm a polyamorous bisexual guy who is accustomed to being in more than one relationship at once with other folks that are also in multiple relationships. I'm mystified by this topic, and by the rest of the comments.
Surely we have to factor in who they have had. What if all of them were very poorly endowed?
I didn't think I was anything too special, but my body count is many multiples of times higher than the ideal, so i guess I'm a bit of a Chad. That being said, I have commitment issues so I guess that makes sense. Bagged a lot of tail, but now I have a really hard time settling down.
I don't know about being a Chad. It depends on what types of women you slept with. When I was young I was having sex with the ugliest women because I was one awkward dude. Then improved in every way and got way more picky. If I only counted the attractive women I would have low numbers. If you include the really ugly ones then I'm a Chad too.
>>Bagged a lot of tail
Yeah. No offense. But I don't feel sorry for you.