Why men get JEALOUS of their WOMEN'S PAST: the threat to romantic love
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Hardly a week goes by without me talking to a man about his jealousy with respect to his woman's sexual history. These men know that their reaction is "irrational" -- there is no current threat to the relationship, and the behavior in question usually occurred before they even knew the women -- but the feelings they experience are real and painful, nonetheless. In this episode, I explain why this phenomenon occurs, and where the threat actually lurks. Be sure to watch to the end.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#relationship #jealousy #women
I think "disgust" is the word you're looking for, not jealousy
Correct. and people don't need a PhD to understand this.
@@user-td2lg1fl6h women with gender studies degrees wouldnt be able to wrap their head around this
The disgusting part is that women keep praising themselves for sleeping with multiple men.
It's disrespectful, it's gross, etc.
Modern women should change their "unattractive behavior".
Aptly said
It’s definitely jealousy and insecurity 🤭
I don't think it's jealousy as much as it is frustration that you had to work much harder for something another guy got basically for free. Many guys are bothered by the fact that they had to invest a great deal of effort to get into a relationship with a girl qnd later finding out that several other guys slept with her with little or no effort.
Most guys have had the experience of dating a woman for weeks or months before becoming intimate, then later finding out there were guys she hooked up with immediately. It makes you realize you are the nice guy sucker who she made wait.
How about you just be the guy who doesn’t invest much rather then the guy who does? That way you don’t have to worry about other guys who invest. Just a thought
@@jaymatem21c2 yes you are right, and that is how most men start to become low investment, after realizing other men are doing so. The issue is that most guys are raised and taught to be the sweet, caring guy that buys flowers or "blue-pilled" as they say. Later on in life men realize girls actually prefer low investment jerks. That is why there is a huge "red pill" community on TH-cam, because millions of men began to wake up and realize we've been going about it all wrong.
@@jaymatem21c2 also women are 100% aware of this dynamic but refuse to admit it and continue to perpetuate the myth that they like nice guys. If women just admitted they like low effort jerks, things would be easier for everyone, as more guys could save their time 😆
Yeah, and that's what would bug me the most. Not necessarily that she had had previous relationships, but that she was screwing guys for fun.
Bingo!
For women who don't understand this, the female equivalent of this is finding out that he treated his last girl better - taking her on vacations, spending more money on her, taking her out etc. and him not doing any of that for you. It's frustration and also a feeling of being lied to. Man or woman, if you find out they gave more to their last partner, just leave - they don't really like you.
I understand what you mean , but a women past men she had sex with is much worse
I would be happy if my ex didnt sleep with the guy but he took her on trips and dinners that would be fine with me.@@6688ya
Great example man. I’ll never forget this
You take a lot of superficial scenarios in context to being „treated better“.
He could have been very busy with work to afford those frequent vacations or be more emotionally distant but thinking he’s making up for it with spending money on her etc…nothing of what you listed is being „treated better“ from a woman’s perspective.
Why is that the equivalent? That's nonsense.
Men care about a woman’s past. Women care about a man’s future. Just how it’s always been.
There are primal, evolutionary reasons for both
@@toddjohnson271 Evolution is not proven and you have DNA tests for the primal reasons, although we are not primates, if we are religious. Only insecure dudes say this about the women's past and body count.
Yes. Succinctly put and correct.
@@Tormalima They are just insecure men, evolution is not proven as well as the primal part, which is also part of evolution. They both are not proven, there are dna test for their insecurity.
Good ones do.
It's not jealousy, it is disgust. And the knowledge that we will constantly be compared to the men in their past. Is anyone surprised that there is a strong correlation with women's high body count and the failure of their relationships and marriage?
I was really disappointed in his take, the data shows promiscuity leads to higher rates of divorce, cheating and paternity fraud.
The idea that a girl I like is or has slept with someone else I feel disgusted.
@@chadcadsonvii5258 Absolutely 👍
Look up when he talks about women with high body counts. It'll kinda make up for this one
Bunch of incells commenting above. Get help fo4 your delusional beliefs
It's an unquenchable sense of disgust. Every man feels it intuitively - the sense that it just feels wrong, that it isn't meant to be this way. To some degree I am certain PsycHacks is right that it's part of the romantic nature of men, the very nature that unfortunately to a large degree is based on fantasy, yet that doesn't change the wretched, brutal physical / emotional response we experience when we think about the fact that our girl has been plowed senseless before.
Take it from me. Got a girlfriend at an early age in the middle of my teenage years - she was, just like me, kissless and a virgin. She radiated innocence, yet was the definition of a powerful woman in the sense that feminists wish they could be - utterly capable, if at times clumsy, extremely brave (she went to unbelievable lengths for me), truly compassionate, and kind at heart. She had one flaw, and that was to bottle up emotions, but apart from that, you can picture a nigh perfect girl - that's her.
Long story short - I threw it away because I was stupid, naive and just too immature. And by the time I realized my folly, after she had the self respect to break up with me, a guy that simply wasn't good for her at the time, she met another guy whom she had fallen for. I thought to myself I could probably bounce back from that if they just didn't have sex - I could probably overlook a little kissing. Of course I knew even then that there was not a chance they wouldn't go all the way, which they inevitably did.
So now I sit here and think to myself, no matter how much I miss her, no matter how much I want a second chance, I know for a fact that even if everything becomes perfect from now one - she will always be the girl who was dicked down by some other guy. *My* sweetheart, whom I mutually shared my first kiss and virginity with, will forever be tained, and I will forever be a cuck - at least that's how it feels. I just can't look at her the same way. The sweet moments we cherish - they are just memories that will never become true again no matter how proactive and lucky I may be in trying to get her now, years later.
Sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading if you stuck through to the end. As for new girl I'd meet... hard to tell how I could tolerate a small few of men that came before, I haven't had anything as serious as before. But even now I find myself thinking that if she isn't a virgin, it's hard to see a future in which I could give everything for her / want to marry her.
Naw, I just don't want to pay full price when other people get things for free.
It is better to do a medical check up, see if she is healthy , without any STD or other underline deceases and can conceive healthy babies , you should be good. Because once you have babies your priorities change.
and just like you, other guys are commiting to the girls you bangged easily......what goes around cames around😀, just live in pressent
Yes this was glossed over a bit. If your woman worships the ground you walk on and brings you other women to have threesomes with every week, you're not going to be jealous of her past.
The jealousy comes when you suspect that others (sometimes many others) before you have gotten a better deal. Desire= respect to a woman. If she doesn't desire you as much or more than she desired (and therefore respected) dozens of strangers before you, you're being played.
@@nosphyNobody's committing anymore. Most men don't participate in hook uo culture. It's the majority of women with a small fraction of men.
Note how men want to upkeep civilization, family, and morals, and women advocate for the destruction of it, and of babies.
What are you paying? For dinner, drinks, a vacation? You leave no room for women to be human because you have a fantasy in your head. 40% of married women today outearn their husbands, so who's ''paying'' for whom?
This is the biggest reason why women ask where all the good man have gone .. they are looking past you thanks to your past
"She's not special. She might be special to you! This specialness may only exist in your own mind!" - A bitter pill to swallow indeed. But thank you for this clarification. It was very needed...
Smh
It was actually a great pill to swallow. No romanticizing of places, things, and especially people will keep you free from delusions. And not expecting anything from anybody will make it easy to get over it, and if you cannot get over or accept somebody's past, well, you should have an easy time going away and moving on.
@@MCADHD-rf5klthat’s not totally true. There are women like me that only sleep with men that are special. Not everyone buys into the hookup culture. He’s generalizing.
@@valeria939I'm a guy and I agree.
NOT knowing this is the hallmark of simps.
Ex wife was promiscuous . I was too in love to realize the problems it came with . She had male friends at work, and loved male attention . Slept with a guy in her friend group and allowed me to be friends with the guy but hated me actually liking him and hanging out on our own time. 2 years after our divorce i found out about them sleeping together as teenagers( we got together at 21) I was soooo disgusted by how he was at my wedding and she was going to take that lie to the grave. She tried meeting me in person I said no way. I actually hate her now for how much she accused me that I don’t even want to date anymore
"Surprise!"
Yes, women hide this kind of crap, and hope men "cope" with this.
All this video can be summed up with "men don't like surprises".
Advice younger men to always investigate a women's past as much as they can.
You're the nice guy she choose to take care of her because you're nice and she can control you because you're passive as well. She slept with all them for free but you have to take care of her for the same privilege. Like an escort that lives with you.
Adultery should be criminalized. Just like the Romans did.
I'm sure she hates you right back.
@@D_402S-h2zif that was the case there wouldn't be enough jails for men 😂 Most men cheat on their wives.
1. Nobody likes to pay for what others got easy and for free.
2. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.
It's not jealousy, it's disgust.
why though
@@JJ-vp3bddumb question
@@JJ-vp3bd 255 million years of evolutionairy paternity uncertainty.
If women sleep around with a lot of men we get the ick as she is a bad bet for paternity.
It's biology.
And men value purity, fertility, femininty.
Why would men want a women later when shes thrown all that away.
STDs.
Disgusted by what? A woman having sex?
To sum up the entire video "She's not yours, it's just your turn".
This is even more evident for women that monkey branch, both my exes did the same thing.
You mean women take what they can get, exactly like men?😅
@@pwh5805 Look up divorce statistics. Women are twice as likely to initiate a divorce. Not saying that men cannot be selfish or anything but it is a fact that it is way harder to please and satisfy a woman than the opposite.
@@pwh5805 When they hitted the wall? then yes, in their early 20s they have tons of good options.
The sad truth. I'm not angry with women anymore for being who and what they are. That's just how they were programmed. But I'm also going to use my knowledge of female nature to protect myself, and not get too involved. Other men disagree with me on this, and that's fine. People can choose what's best for them.
@@vaggs003 they’re 3 times more likely. and we’ll over 4 times if they’re college educated
Her past is super important, you want to basically find out what her mating strategy is, quantity over quality or quality over quantity. If you are quality and she is a quantity type woman, you are losing big time.
If she messed with 1 or 2 quality men. That’s more dangerous that her messing with 30 average men. Them 2 men can alway take her back at almost any time than the amount of other men she’s been with who were nothing more that just a one off.
So, really and truly, men shouldn’t really concern themselves with “body count” if anything it should be more of quality count. And that shouldn’t even matter because if you are or become a quality man yourself then why would she want to go compete for another if she truly recognises that she already has one. Just trying to get men to think like my good sir in the video.
@Jay Matem21c her taking dicks from 30 average men is better than 2 quality guys? I disagree. With those 2 guys she was most likely trying to secure a relationship. With the 30 dudes she was just fuckin. Ew.
Don't be delusional, after a good meal there is always a place for something sweet in your stomach😁
@@jaymatem21c2 brother are you high you are comparing a normal women to a prostitute. yah maybe she had good guys and shes with you then it means she sees potential or u r good guy like her past men she had
This goes for men too
A woman’s past says everything about a woman’s decision making skills. And if she has poor decision making skills it will most likely lead to a life of misery or destruction for any man that shares his life with her
Holy Shit. This hit home re: woman I've been in love with for last 18 months.
Very true sadly a lot of guys are in relationships like this.
@@Cre8Fire34 same, 10 months ..
Yes, but people often also change and grow up. Things aren’t necessarily static.
@@chillie000 I used to be naive and think the same. After failed marriage and relationships with “former” promiscuous women I learned that people rarely change if at all. So I completely disagree
I don't think it's mainly jealousy. It's like finding out the club you wanted to get into put you on a waiting list for weeks or months and when you get in you have to pay a lot of money. Later you find out other people basically got in for free without having to wait at all. Also, the best predictor of the future is the past.
Nice analogy
@WildChild are you a woman?
@WildChild 🤣😅
By you saying “pay a lot of money” do u mean the persuasion/ quality time/love and grifts you would give to a women? Because those are things u do when u truly LOVE someone, not to just some random hookup. Your statement just sounds like ur only in it for sexual purposes.
@@zaraherrera8193Sod off with the "hook ups are just hookups" rubbish, mate. If you're willing to give intimacy for free to a random "hot a-hole" you barely met then don't expect "Mr Right" to court you like if you were victorian Lady. Reminder: love has nothing to do with relationships.
A man instinctively will never want to share a woman he has been emotionally attached to, be it in the past, present or future.
That’s it Salim R.
Yes because that attachment is an indicator of investment, it's a woman he could be ok to have children with.
This is very true.....
@@limoncr5205 It's deeper than that.
So it's OK to sleep with the town bikes and use them, but your feelings get hurt when you actually care for a woman.
My problem wasn't necessarily her past as it was that she would bring up her past in an almost nostalgic way. I just wanted her to talk about our future rather than her past of poor choices. If we're talking marriage, then I want someone that looks to the future rather than backward. So I told her to hit the road.
She missed the streets lol
@@joseph6243 You need shoes to the hit the pavement running.
You made the right choice
Damn
It's bad enough she brings it up, but she adds salt to the wound with the nostalgia.
2 months after marrying my 1st wife she told me her boyfriend before me had a bigger penis. 8 years later she was back on the D carousel getting pumped & dumped.
Jealousy implies you WANT her past for yourself. Not sure many men are looking to get banged by a bunch of guys.
DISGUST is the reaction here. Entirely different. It's hard to be jealous when YOU have the prize. A winner can't be jealous of themselves!
But if the prize turns out to be spoiled, to not be the prize you expected and EXPECTATIONS are subverted, there's disgust and resentment.
No it’s more so they want to have things as easily as those guys in her past. Better to say maybe they’re jealous of those past men.
Wrong. That's envy. Envy is when you are upset that someone else has something you would like. Jealousy is being upset at the possibility of losing something you have to someone else.
@@blairdurward4324 some women get married as virgins and are treated like trash
@@Future88746 nobody here is saying that isn’t the case, I’m just saying if I met a girl who was always giving it up for her ex, being adventurous in bed and experimenting with him only to not want to do that with me, I’d be really disappointed, offended, and probably wonder if she’s worth keeping.
What is disgusting about a woman having sex
There is a digust factor for sure, knowing she let other guys inside of her, her most intimate part. It's like catching your girlfriend eating feces and then she tells you "it's all right, I'll brush my teeth and use mouth wash before I kiss you". The thought becomes a worm in your mind and repulses you every time you're going to kiss her.
Then there is also a social humiliation aspect to it. Imagine knowing people or being around people who banged your girl, you feel humiliated, that's especially true in small towns. Not only you feel humiliated, people might also express contempt towards you. It might be the spreading rumours that you're the sucker who managed to take the town's bicycle seriously or the sly smile of a guy who used to bang her or a funny joke from someone towards you relating to your girl's past. Your reputation and status within the community takes a hit, and men in general simply would rather lose an eye than have their reputation destroyed. Deemed as low status, not respected and a tarnished reputation is devastating for most guys.
Then there is also the ego part to it. Imagine some guy f*cking your girl after two beers on a slow Tuesday, then ghosting her and discarding her. While you had to try hard, take her to dinners, court her and invest in her. You feel like the inferior man, the guy that she settled with, the loser at the end of the line. And not only that, your opinion of her is lowered. A girl who has been used and discarded by a lot of guys doesn't feel like a worthy longterm mate to you, to represent you in society as your wife. You lose respect for her, you heavily question her character and values, or her decision making skills and intelligence. It breeds resentment and contempt towards her.
And finally, there have been ~20 studies, that all have come to the same conclusion. The more premarital partners a woman has, the higher the likelihood of reporting lower marital satisfaction and the higher likelihood for infidelity and divorce. So promiscuous people statistically make bad long term investments. Which is worse in the case of a man, since the laws and the divorce courts are heavily against him, so he is more likely to lose the most after a divorce.
Everything you said is Spot on and more Women should learn this and modify there modern mating style if they have any and i mean ANY intention of having a long term man in their life. This experience just happened to me with a girl that i was emotionally invested in, being a romantic i saw her as a pearl in a vast dark ocean, she truly was special and like No one else i had ever met, or so i thought.
We had the "conversation" one night and i have to say it was one of the most miserable experiences i ever had trying to sleep that night, i could not get it out of my head the amount of partners she had and how quick sex was with some of them and we already know whatever number they say its not the truth but in fact more, part of me wishes i never had it because it literally threw months of happiness and effort trying to court her out the window, but also another part of me is happy it did because it opened my eyes to so many things, even catching red flags from her (eventually found out she was still talking to her ex boyfriend all that time while talking to me!)
This experience definitely changed my perspective on dating and women in general, Men trying to be romantics and always trying to find that perfect partner end up putting Women on a pedestal and in our minds we think they are gods gift to mankind when the reality is far from the truth, a womans history is far from being clean or pristine as many men think it is, matter of fact it might be more fucked up and twisted than most mens encounters today, Unless your an Ultra Chad with endless supply of women you are not getting close to the average girls sexual history, amount of partners and flings, its impossible and social media has only made it worse.
Bitter pill to swallow but its the truth, and the sooner you accept it about Your girl or any girl you have "plans" with the better off you will be....
@WildChild no.
As a former man whore, it actually turns them on more, knowing you’ve been around.
🤯
I didn't even watch the video and went straight to the comments and found this banger. This is all I needed to know 👍
Absolutely nailed it, thank you sir. ESPECIALLY the part about it damaging how you view her level of discernment. It makes her seem like a fool, like she would be happy with anybody.
That feeling of disgust in your gut is saying that "having a partner is what's important to her", not that her partner being you is important.
Totally correct. Don’t even need to watch the video, it can’t be better than this comment.
“Jealousy…” = Disgust
I broke up with my first gf for this. I was totally insecure and knew it at the time, but I just couldn’t deal with it. We went out to breakfast in her home town and the waiter just had this look on his face and I was like damn…him too 😞
I could be with a woman who had a promiscuous past but I wouldn’t be 100% faithful to her. And for all the women who think men will never know…trust me, we’ll know. It’s like a drug addict who’s been clean but you can tell they’ve been out there. Even if you manage not to spill the beans, there’s a certain energy that men can just pick up on. Watch how you move when you’re young and that goes for men and women.
Bro, sometimes you can physically tell by their downstairs area.
@@sigerian1085
They'll hit you with the
"oUr AnAtOmY dOeSNt WoRk LiKe tHaT yOu iiiiiiNcEL"
@@sigerian1085 looooool. How do u tell?
It's not insecure to be disgusted by the choices she's made.
"I could be with a woman who had a promiscuous past but I wouldn’t be 100% faithful to her" - well, this attitude is not very constructive. Just because she was promiscuous in the past doesn't mean that she will be unfaithful to you. If she is really in love with you she will be faithful, but if you then start to play around then it ain't gonna work.
Are used to think otherwise, “if men can do it why can’t women“. I’ve seen that every woman with a high body count, truly lacks the ability to empathize, or be a legitimate partner in a relationship. Every girl I’ve met who has had sex with over 10 guys has every trait of a borderline personality disorder, woman.
Studies have been done that show women's brains lose the ability to properly pair-bond once they sleep with too many guys. This is another key reason men value a woman's past so much, and they should value it - women with high body counts are not worthy of committing to.
It is better to do a medical check up, see if she is healthy , without any STD or other underline deceases and can conceive healthy babies , you should be good. Because once you have babies your priorities change.
Dark triad traits.
Apathy(lack of empathy). Narcissistic tendencies. Solipsist world views centered on themselves and every argument or observation operates from their view exclusively.
Yeah Ive met some very interesting characters.
Lets say Im glad I only stayed the night.
Bitches can't be wives.
The thing is that men being able to do the same are rather a minority.
If I’m going to take a woman seriously I am going to want to know about her past. And if the past is ugly, I just won’t take her seriously. Nobody is going to dissuade me of that.
she's willing to LIE about her past, and she's designed and fully capable of DISCOUNTING those sexual experiences, ie., "they didn't count."
this is a fact: women have the natural ability to 'remove' those sexual experiences from her past; so when she says, "i've been with less than 10 men," she TRULY believes it bc the other 30 guys don't count for whatever reason in her head.
her emotions tell her that's the truth... and guess what, it REALLY is (her) truth. she will look you right in the eyes and say it with FULL conviction too. iow, natural liars & manipulators and it's all a survival tactic to not be left discarded and alone.
TBH if a man had a promiscuous past, I'd leave too. I would think monogamy is difficult for him, and he is incapable of forming an emotional bond with a woman.
Now, if he said during his early 20's he was promiscuous but grew out of that phase, I could look past it.
@@vanessa.jasmine ok
No such thing as an ugly past lol, atleast not when it comes to sex
@@LARA-sg4bt if you say so 😂
It's about accepting reality and not putting them on pedestals in the first place.
I've had a few girlfirends with promiscuous pasts use that as a weapon against me. One time I told a woman I was dating that I was uncomfortable with the current conversation because she was talking about her glory days in college. She raised her voice and talked faster. Heard some stuff I didn't want to. In another relationship, I kept putting up that boundary, and my partner kept pushing through it. In a couple months I had involuntarily learned time references and statistics, enough so that I couldn't remember any of my own previous life memories without them being tainted by the images and timelines.
Where before I used to be tolerant, any time a partner tries to whip out her sex stats like it is a sport, I make it clear to her that the relationship is i danger if she does not stop. I WILL NOT let anyone torture me with that again. I've done all kinds of adventures and overcome so many challenges. Getting laid via casual sex was never front and center, and I deserve to live with my memories in peace.
This exactly why my ex is my ex!
I've experienced something similar, I try to politely set a boundary and the woman takes it as an invitation to double down. they think its cute or something. its not. its hurtful.
Those women are immature
She was testing your strength. Act indifferent
I would want to know if it was a possible long term / marriage situation.
I didnt get much from the video but the comment section was gold!
Here's better advise: Don't marry western women. Marry a woman from a culture where casual sex doesn't exist. Don't sleep around yourself. Less baggage less drama on both sides.
Nailed it!
👌👌
Casual Sex is rampant in thailand, philiphines and everywhere, dude! What has it got to do only with western women?
@@flare6521yeah in the big cities. Not really in the provinces
@@flare6521There are pretty extreme "feminist" and "modern" parts in every country. Even in mine. But the vast majority of women and men in asian countries aren't used to hookup culture like the west.
If a woman has a "past" which ewokes uneasy feelings in you, it's game over.
But apparently women are the emotional ones 😂
@@mrsgolden6526 come on now, you can do better than that :) how about: "who hurt you?" or "only insecure men care for a woman's past!"
I am talking about gut-instinct which is connected to the rational mind.
@@l.b.2392 the only gut istinct evoked by that is the fear of paternity fraud, but that's irrational since paternity can be tested in this day and age, stds as well
But men are very emotional creatures so it's not a surprise that despite these opportunities they still give more credit to their feelings
@@l.b.2392 the only gut instinct involved here would be the fear of paternity fraud or stds, both things that can be tested in this day and age but the human male will always give more credit to his "instinct" aka feelings above anything else
I agree, although i find it disturbing with both genders
Basically, Orion is saying. "she's not yours, it's just your turn".
don't pay for another man's fun.
Deep down men want to marry a chaste virgin.
Up until relatively recently lots of virgins married each other and they didn’t have this problem and pain. Things went wrong when I’m the 60s with the legitimatisation of promiscuity primarily caused by the pill and availability of abortion that gave people the sense that they can have consequence free promiscuity.
The pill and abortion were factors, but the overwhelming force of all the TV/movies/books/magazines/etc/etc brainwashing women into harmful belief systems was a much bigger factor.
All of those factors were intentionally and carefully conducted/managed as an ongoing act of warfare against our societies. The internationalist group (which controls virtually all Western governments/media/publishing/Big Tech/Big Science/Big Finance/education/etc/etc) conducting the warfare knows exactly what they're doing.
Yep, men can't help but idealize the woman they are dating seriously, they put up an innocent, pure, distinguished image but that image gets shattered when you realize she's been tossed around by another guy, or some other guys, or a lot of other guys. Quite frankly, a friendship in your younger years has no reason not to blossom into a serious relationship, but the alphas wanna fuck around, and the women ignore the average guys and chase the alphas and get used by them. Then a few years down the line, they wisen up and decide average guys who bring stability are the way to go, but it is way too late, all that is left are leftovers from a few top men, and you're an incel if you don't like it.
"They wisen up" nah, they just need resources and a good simp provider
Most women are gullable suckers for the alpha male.
You're an incel if you complain about it and do nothing. Here is some hints: 1/ Stop idealize women and see them for who they really are. 2/ 2-3 body counts is normal number. 3/ Build yourself up to become an alpha. Work, walk, talk, flirt and play the women game like an alpha.
She's probably been tossed around by dozens of guys before you came along. Your just another horse on the carousel. Lol
@@Monkechnologytrue, they probably still seek alphas on the side
I can’t take a woman seriously after knowing she had been another guy’s play thing. I refuse to change that, even though in this day and age, majority of women have given themselves away cheaply
She chose to be a playing partner for a guy who didn't have to do anything but expects you to crawl over glass for her.
2018-2023: the sexual market, which is across the street from the stock market, has listed this 5 yr stretch as an all-time low for the 'value' of vagina.
the report said this about the supply/demand curve: the demand has been steady since the beginning of time, but WOMEN HAVE DEVALUED VAGINA to the point where the supply is so abundant and easily attainable that it's damn near WORTHLESS; so very little investment is needed to get it.
the 1st footnote at the bottom of the report reads: "relax... enjoy... bc it's not your vagina, it's just your turn to have it."
the 2nd footnote reads: "the line to get your passport to find a traditional woman starts over there ---->"
the latest science on female desire has proven that you can't beat biological programming... after 3-5 yrs, romance plummets....
... Psychologist & Primatologist Dr. Kim Wallen (EmeryU Atlanta), has shown in his Rhesus monkey compounds, that female monkeys run the show wrt every aspect of monkey life, they are the Generals in War, the head of politics, they initiate ALL Sex, they do all the Objectifying (shock!) & don’t hesitate to abandon their children to chase after various objects of desire .. they're basically *RAW*. Male monkeys on the other hand, tend to live to the side of family life & are SWAPPED OUT after ~3 yrs…why ? the female monkeys get too bored to have sex w them (~3.5yrs in the wild) ... sound familiar ? If it does, no need to ever beat yourself up. Just don’t forget, gym/haircut.
[ See Daniel Bergner's 2013 TedX talk/Book "What do women really want" where he writes about 8 yrs worth of interviews w female & male researchers & scientists on the topic of female desire, a great read.. & likely a disturbing read for most civilized men ]
@@maxdawg - I've lived with half dozen women and dated a few dozen more. All the western women (American, British, etc.) had high (over 10) body counts. Eastern European women were an exception and my longest relationship at over 20 years.
Factos! This is something men across cultures feel instinctively. Majority of men don’t want to a woman other men have had access to for the long term.
Women too
@@carlac9026 Not true women usually dont care as long as he has some ability to provide something from a relationship standpoint and if he decides to pick her for a monogamous relationship bt depending on the status of the dude monogamy is often look passed by women. Its been that way throughout human history.
@@carlac9026 😂 no
@@carlac9026 That's not true.
Exactly
I think the idea that you should not care about a woman`s past is what does not make sense and is irrational. Because of contraceptives and lack of social ostracism, the number of partners a modern woman can have without severely impairing her life (e.g., no diseases, not thinking about getting pregnant with each encounter) is very high, to the point that it would be unthinkable to people from the past. Aside from prostitutes, tell me one point in the past couple of millennia where it would have been possible for a man to marry a woman who had multiple, 5, 10, 20+ partners before. It simply would not happen. A guy could marry a widow of 1, perhaps 2 husbands, but a widow of 10, 15, 20 husbands? If you think of each sexual partner as equivalent to marriage in bygone times, the insanity of what happens today becomes clearer.
Modernity puts us in unnatural situations and some people begin to think the problem is with them. No, the problem is the modern world.
Yeah
This should be pinned.
Exactly this. Men are now expected to just simply accept this as fact and be ok with it. Feminism is both a hilarious concept, and cancerous to society. If men demanded purity from Women for actual commitments like marriage, things would change overnight.
This is too true. well said
Being concerned about a woman’s sexual history prior to her relationship with you, is not merely a matter of jealousy. It is not merely a matter of psychology. It’s a matter of biology, and it is a matter of pragmatism.
A recent study from the Institute for Family Studies shows that the higher a woman’s body count, the higher the probability of divorce, and the lower the probability of marital satisfaction and success.
Given the heavily gynocentric bias of the family law in divorce court system, and the rather extreme financial and emotional consequences that are borne overwhelmingly by men, as well as the restriction of access to any shared children, all of which last decades, make a woman’s lifetime body count a matter of significant importance in any situation where a man is considering commitment, and should count heavily in the decision of whether or not to commit and marry.
A woman having a very low body count is not a 100% protection against separation and divorce, but it comes reasonably close. A woman with a high body count, is a clear and present danger to any man considering commitment with her, a danger to his finances, a danger to his emotions, and the danger to his access to his children. Body count matters.
Ok I agree with you. But what's your body count???
@@gregorylyon1004 my body count is double digits.
The same studies that show that while body count damages the human female’s ability to form an emotional connection and pair bond with a man, it has NO effect upon the emotional connection/pair bonding ability of men. Human evolutionary biology shows that, contrary to what happens with women, who are actively acting counter to their evolved, instinctive mating strategy, opportunistic mating where human males have as much sex as possible with as many different women as possible IS the evolved, instinctive mating strategy of human males.
Our neurobiological pair bonding system is both structurally and chemically different than the female system in significant ways. Men do not form pair bonds with women quickly. We literally evolved to “hit it and quit it”. The more women a man had sex with, in the earlier history of our species, the higher the probability that a number of those episodes would result in conceptions. The more conceptions that occurred, the higher the probability that at least some of them would successfully carry to term. The more pregnancies that carried to term, the higher the probability that at least some of the babies would survive to reach reproductive maturity, and that meant the higher the chance at least some of those reproductively mature offspring would themselves go on to impregnate females-or be impregnated by males-thus continuing the male DNA in the human gene pool. Promiscuous sexual behavior was and, technically, still is in the reproductive best interests of human males. The male pair bonding mechanism therefore evolved to be very slow to form such a bond, requiring a combination of significant interest by the male in a specific female, a corresponding significant interest by the female in the male, and her ability to keep him interested and attractive enough for him to stay with her long enough for her to lavish him with abundant physical and emotional intimacy, in sufficient quantities and over a sufficiently extended period of time for the slow-acting male neurobiological pair bonding mechanism to activate and cause the male to pair bond with the female, whose own pair bonding mechanism had long before bonded her to him, which occurs in women with only very few intimate sexual episodes, often as few as one. Human females evolved to pair bond very quickly, far faster than the males.
It is the repetitive formation and rupture and dissolution of mating pair bonds that damages the neurobiological pair bonding systems. Because women pair bond almost immediately through sexual intimacy combined with emotional intimacy, that degradation of their pair bonding system occurs within a very short time frame. It is questionable whether that damage, and the inability to form viable, durable pair bonds, is reversible. Women who experience bond formation and rupture with as few as five intimate partners, render themselves essentially a mere random coin toss as far as their ability to experience strong bonding and a viable and lasting relationship, versus a weak bond and a significant probability of breaking off the relationship-incurring yet more damage to their ability to pair bond again-and the divorce risk they pose to men in the modern family law and divorce court system. Women with a body count over five and up to ten represent an approximately 30 % chance of successfully pair bonding, and an approximately 70% probability of divorce. With a body count in excess of ten, the female ability to form a successful and durable pair bond declines to the single digit range, while they pose a greater than 90% relationship dissolution and divorce risk.
The same is not true for human males. While there is no reason to believe that the same number of mating pair bond formation and rupture and dissolution cycles that destroys pair bonding ability in females would not have the same effect upon males, it must be kept in mind that human males evolved to pair bond very slowly, over very extended periods of time and only under very specific circumstances, and so human males only very rarely form mating pair bonds. This facilitates the opportunistic (promiscuous) mating strategy of human males, allowing men to pursue that strategy without incurring damage.
Men and women are equal only in the moral sense. Physically/sexually, they are wildly different.
The Institute for Family Studies is not at all a credible research entity. It has been entangled in controversies related to flawed data constructed in ways to be biased against LGBTQ families. The entity has pushed right wing conservative values included. Do not use them as a source.
@johntrench lol, high body count for guys is also incredibly dangerous as they might carry STD/STI, and they are not able to connect emotionally. Their divorce rate is incredibly high because they can't get fulfilled with one person, and the desire to sleep around always pushes. They are incredibly unfaithful just look in the mirror, deep down you know I'm right. 😁
@Princess15732 according to both governments, statistics and research to scientist, the infidelity rate of men averages under 65% while out of women averages slightly more than 50%, so it is almost exactly the same. Human males evolved to be promiscuous, it’s part of the amazing strategy. Humanity does not cause any research typing supported Tammy to human male hair bonding.. Because we eat balls are bumping mechanism for taking advantage of every possible opportunity, although it cannot be the definitive improvement, it is highly likely that this interesting deviation of the mail made strategy for that as a female, involved in response to pressure from female hyper select activity.
Promise you has no biological effect on male emotional care bonding, again because we do not emotionally care bond until we attend the long time. Long period of time.
Even then, men can be completely in love with the woman that they are with, and still take advantage of other opportunities, because we are literally instinctively so. Women are not. Reason? Because men had pregnant numerous women, it is there for our reproductive best interest to pursue that. women, throughout the majority of human history, required a very steady and reliable resource source, and protection, particularly during pregnancy and the early years of raising children when the children and women were at their most vulnerable. Women develop the instinct of hypergamy to select the highest value male, they could realistically achieve that has been perverted by lack of social restraint, and by the building of the world, by men, not by women, so that it will provide much of security that women have to depend upon having their own man, I thought a woman’s instinct of interest to care with a single male.
This also did not stop women from seeking outside sexual encounter, because they could not always find what they were considering instinctively the best genetic material in the make was, and the best traits and resources that would make an excellent father and make long term. the paternity fraud that is committed death today by women, which is at minimum 32% of all my birth every year to couples where the man who to be the father does not know that he has actually not the father, and is being treated by the mother, is out of that.
Both cases can be resisted. And and generally do an excellent job of staying committed to their partners. The divorce rate is not caused by men. Do not support a major contribution by men to the divorce rate. Quite the contrary. Despite the close to equal and fidelity rate between husbands and wives, it has been firmly established that husbands, combining instinctive drive and the change in society that has resulted in women thinking that they can tell their husbands know, and deny them sex while attempting to hold them to about Fidelity, the vast majority of men who do cheat statistically do so, because they are not receiving sex at home. The percentage of men who act on their instinct with without a reason due to female relationship misbehavior, such as imposing sex, marriage or weapon Ing sex in order to manipulate and coerce May behavior, is extremely tiny. And the percentage of men who initiate divorce proceedings is also extremely tiny. Between 70 and 80% of all of our proceedings are initiated by women, overwhelmingly. The reasons are trivial. The women “get bored “, or are “unhappy”. Neither one of which is the responsibility of the man. We are not clowns here to entertain women. And women are impossible for men to make happy because cannot be made happy by other people. Happiness is discovered within oneself. By devotion of family, devotion to husband or wife, by cultivating friendships, cultivating hobbies, and outside interests.
The population of women who have college degrees, in that, cohort of women initiating divorce, account for 90% of all divorces initiated by women who have such.
It averages out to women initiating more than 80% of divorces, men not. Men initiating less than 20%.
That combined with data from marriage and family therapist, sociologist, anthropologist, Shows that men are a far greater force for stability in order in a relationship, and women are a force for chaos. It is the removal of social restraints upon female hypergamy, and the perversion of female hypergamy by new social trends, promoting female, promiscuity, which has never in any of human history, been to the advantage of women, that has resulted in the problems we have today.
Again, biology provides the answer. Promiscuity is not, and literally biologically cannot be as damaging to men, as it is to women. The only circumstance under which it can be, is if you take the very tiny percentage of men who remain with women long enough to form an emotional bond and neurological pair bond, And then the relationship ruptures. There are men who “date to meet”, and such men, if they have a handful of pair bonding formations, and ruptures, will then experience the same suppression of their bonding ability, although even here it is a lesser degree because it is moderated by the natural male instinctive drive for, multiple sexual contacts.
There is no scenario in which fax and data are taken into account fully, in which your comment is correct regarding pair bonding.
In regards to your comment regarding STDs, however, you are correct. Promiscuity for either men or women causes an extraordinarily high in increase in the risk of contracting STDs. As a doctor, I can also tell you that the STDs are becoming more resistant to treatment, so it behooves both men and women to return to a very much more traditional view of relationships and relationship rules, in order to combat this particular, very concerning trend. It is part of the greater, overall development of resistance patterns, and microorganisms that attack human beings. This includes infecting bacteria for things like necrotizing, fasciitis, tuberculosis, etc.
See you at least got one point right. Congratulations on that.
I’m not jealous of someone using my toothbrush in as much as I am disgusted by it.
Intimacy is the #1 reward for male investment. If she offers intimacy without investment, then what is the point of a relationship when the deepest expression of her love ISN'T ANYMORE? Do you get it now or do you still think it's jealousy? We aren't jealous of her ex-husband or her boyfriend of 10 years -good men, because they EARNED. But the moment she gives it away for nothing it no longer has value so WHY ARE WE WORKING SO HARD FOR SOMETHING SO CHEAP?
That's it doc. That's the problem. You don't see it that way? 'LOL it's just sex bro it's not that meaningful.' Fine, enjoy the decline.
We designed society around virginity and monogamy for a better reason than paternity assurance. We designed it that way so that men would continue to value WOMEN for access to INTIMACY. Now? Men lament that they can only value the SEX while the women have become WORTHLESS. That's the cost of giving it away for nothing.
The mating dance has all become kabuki theater. It's not intimacy to her anymore because it's not about YOU at all. It's only about HER. So it's just sex because sex is just sex. There's nothing more to it. But tellingly 'just sex' isn't good enough for virgins and players alike. Which is why neither marries a woman 'with a past' and they can give every practical reason as to why. But it's really because intimacy can't come cheap BY DEFINITION. Once it does, it's over. It's done and gone.
Don't think men's opinion on this will ever change.
Absolutely based. I had never even considered how I have 0 issue with an ex-husband or ex-boyfriend of 10 years. I only have disgust with women who give away intimacy so quickly without investment. Even if I'm the one they want to give it away to, if it's too quick and I've barely invested in her yet it just ruins everything. It's like a guy proposing to a girl after dating for 4 days.
🎯 this is all Facts 💯
@@Milktube These days folks get intimate after few dates.. fake and ridiculous but in reality.
Society has been focusing so much on virginity because men NEVER ACTUALLY VALUED WOMEN just for the sake of it
It has aleays been about sex
When you cannot seperate the value of women from the topic of Sex entirety, then you've already admitted that the only thing you see and want is sex
You literally admitted that besides sex, women are worthless to men
I 100% agree all women should stop having sex with men before marriage then all the problems should be solved for you me .
My theory about what some call „Retroactive jealousy“ is this: It‘s a matter of boundaries and social intelligence. You need to accept that you are dealing with another human being that has had desires and curiosity in the past like every other human being, and at the same time you must be very much aware of what you are not willing to tolerate and „forgive“.
Once you have these to points down you make sure you respect first your boundaries, in the sense that you should know what you willing to accept from her past and what not. If the woman has done things that you can‘t accept then you should respect YOURSELF by respecting your boundaries by letting the woman know and moving on right then and there.
Explain that again. So a 21 year-old guy can understand it. I call your explaination, "Retroactive intelligence."
As someone who has been married 18 years, can say that yes, my husband is still bothered by the idea that I had other men before him. We were 22 and 24 years old when we married, so we were pretty young and we had our first baby the same year. I had 2 boyfriends before him, my very first and then another I was with for 5 years, so I didn't exactly sleep around, but I wasn't a virgin either. He never said he was disgusted by my past.
He still gets testy if a picture shows up of me with one of them in an old photo album or if someone mentions my ex, even 18 years later. It's like he thinks every man on the planet would jump at the chance to be with me. It's flattering, but it's not even remotely true.
I'm not special at all. I'm just a woman like any other. But to him, I AM special. He tells me every day that I am and he makes me feel that way, which in turns makes me want to do things for him to make HIM feel special as well. It doesn't make any of us really special in the great scheme of life, but I am to him and he is to me. This is why we invest in each other. This is how 18 years pass and we still can't get enough of each other and find every occasion to spend more time together. No one I would rather be with than him.
You are just covering your sins.
@@ИльяЗаболотный-е5м And you are clearly a russian bot...
Why would you keep pictures of your old boyfriends?
@@NineOneNine-e5g Why can't you just accept reality, and stop pedestalizing women. You want a women to go through her entire history and delete all the photo's, that may give away her sexual past to satifsy your insecurities? It's childish bro.
@@ИльяЗаболотный-е5м Stop playing good samaritan, religion is not a good metric to judge a women's psychology, it's outdated. Get with the times.
It has nothing to do with jealousy. Women with a body count more than 5 either begin to, or have lost the ability to pair bond. If you are a man of real value there is no way you are going to be okay with a woman who cannot pair bond with you. You simply don't want a woman who is thinking of another man while she's with you. This is the reason so many women in their 30's and 40's have a tough time finding a man who will be a life-partner. They are constantly comparing men with that one guy who they gave it all to - usually some Chad who pumped and dumped them, ruining her chances of being truly happy with another man. Men, rather be happy on your own than have some woman see you as her second or third option. You will never be happy because she will ultimately treat you with disdain and disrespect, all while you are expected to pay for everything and you're doing more than your share of holding the relationship together. Let's not give this type of women an iota of validation or our respect. It's time we normalized and celebrated women with low body counts, and discarded the promiscuous parasites.
women allow themselves to be IMPRINTED in two ways... sexually and emotionally. if it was 2 different guys, you have a decent chance that she can resist the constant comparisons and wondering, "can i do better." if it was ONE GUY that imprinted her in BOTH ways, you have to tell her to go find him and not waste YOUR time.
Okay I agree. But EXACTLY how many women have you slept with?? What's your body count buddy ??
Humans don't "pair bond". However promiscuous women are statistically much more likely to cheat or leave you for someone else.
Doesn't have to be Chad. A 16-year-old girl who has a boyfriend for a year before he dumps her can also screw up her idea of romance and relationships. She'll carry that disappointment right into adulthood.
Women with a lot of previous partners are more likely to cheat and divorce, supposedly because their bonding mechanism is damaged, making them less desirable partners for LTRs.
It's true.
Correct. Don't date women with high body counts.
It is better to do a medical check up, see if she is healthy , without any STD or other underline deceases and can conceive healthy babies , you should be good. Because once you have babies your priorities change.
This can vary widely depending on the woman's personality traits and preferences, but to optimize sexual and relationship loyalty from her, she should have a low body count (say 1-5) but not a virgin. The reason for skepticism against virgin women is that a fair amount of girls upon losing their virginity will get "addicted" to this new life pleasure and will go through a sex crazed phase of trying to sleep with a bunch of guys before calming down. I've seen that happen before myself, notably around that grade 12 or 1st year uni time. IMO knowing what a woman does after losing her virginity is just as important as having a reasonable body count
I have a question: Are 9 sexual partners a lot? I am 26
They aren't jealous of their women's past. Because even if they had more partners than her they still wouldn't want a woman with a past. Having standards isn't jealousy. They dont want to admit they are settling for a woman with a past.
Having standards is for the control of current situations, setting a standard is for the actions that might happen in the here and now, not times that are long gone
It's the feeling of inadequacy and the fear of being compared
@@mrsgolden6526 Experiences form you and your decisions are a testimony of your character. One can tell a lot about someone's character from the choices he or she has made. That character will influence the here and now and your future together.
You would also be wary if a man has done things in the past that you find questionable.
It's not just jealousy. It's disgust. It's contempt. It's revulsion. It's cultural gas lighting to conflate the two. Yes on occasion one can be jealous. But the reality is promiscuity is off-putting.
A "straight" man disgusted by a woman having sex
The irony 😂
If you lived in traditional pre industrial society you would not even have to worry about her sexual pastc because there would be none. We are living in an evolutionary mismatch, which is coming to an end sooner than later.
Add the fact that male and female promiscuity patterns have basically switched. Now, young women have dramatically more sexual experience than young men, which seems to be an evolutionary unnatural situation that leads to massive resentment.
Hey, why do you say and believe it’s coming to an end sooner than later? I love to hear your elaboration because I believe you hit the nail on the head.
@apureguapo pre-industrial societies live (with very few exceptions) in darwinian selection conditions. They did what they did, organized and behaved they way they did in order to survive. Traditional gender roles are included in this logic. We can see this as a set of rules nature favours and commands to societies if they want to survive. If, by the development of highly developed technology, we can momentarily break these natural laws, the only thing we are doing is getting in debt with nature. A debt sooner or later we will end up paying. Nowadays, men but specially women dont want to behave in the way that favours reproduction and passing the genes to next generation. This will mean that either the segment of population that are hyper traditional and hyper breeders will be the only ones who pass their genes to the next generation (changing the society's values dramatically) ooooor members of more traditional and natural socities will expand and substitute the society whose members didnt want to reproduce (or their collective behaviour was not aligned with what nature requires for reproduction) because ultimately, nature hates emptiness. Where you creat void, another will ocupy.
wow that's so true and I didn't even realize that would be the case just from an evolutionary perspective. its clear to see that those with poor values, morals and behavior aren't reproducing as much which ultimately weeds them out of history with time and leading to less people like that. I know I just repeated what you explained briefly but it's because I feel like I should've known this. Great insight man!@@WilliamRP263
You're being really disingenuous here. I've no idea about what exact era you're referring to, but if you go back far enough then men just took women. Sometimes a man would hog a woman (if the man was powerful) and sometimes the woman would just get passed around from man to man. Her feelings on the matter were not a concern at all.
The main issue a woman’s past will bother a man is that it shows who she is. If a woman has slept around a lot she either uses sex to get what she wants, has sexual addiction, or most likely she has never been in a stable & healthy relationship. That makes her much more likely to cheat when she is in one as it’s uncomfortable or not familiar. She’ll also have more freedom & support in a healthy relationship making her feel emboldened that she can cheat.
I'd never get in a serious relationship with a woman that used to be significantly more promiscuous than other woman. I truly believe there is a certain type of personality to these woman, a certain type of casualness for a lack of a better word. It just doesn't resonate with me. A deep bond is very important to me, and I find it hard to imagine this is possible with this type of woman.
Exactly! Most of them either were sexually and emotionally abused as kids which led to developing personality disorders or becoming hypersexual.
Stay away from most BP women, they're the ones guys love to chase because they're DTF.
Im sure your saving yourself for marriage too.
@@nostalgicbliss5547 Everyone looks back at their youth with nostalgia.
@@EC-yl7xk im sure that you cant be sure about how anyone is based off of 1 yt comment
I don't think it's jealousy. What we want is in our insticts. We want an inexperienced woman. We want an innocent woman. This means PURE. Never been touched. We don't buy used cars. We want new (untouched).
100% TRUE!!!
Same fo us pure women, we don't want a used car with history.
What if this pure woman gets with you and then turns impure and goes wild. That does happen just so you know. A “pure” women doesn’t alway make safety
@@ubahabdi1600 no u dont stop lying lol.
I feel you but women don't find it a good analogy because they don't like to be compared to a car saying it objectify them. Better analogy would be a sex worker
Its her fault if they lie about their past.. its not jealously, its disgust.
This helps explain why men, historically, required a woman to be a virgin before they would marry her.
It’s more to do with ensuring the children are his biologically his
Right. Men has watered down the standard so much that they now say she needs a "low" body count. It's ZERO or NOT ZERO. There's no magic number in the middle.
@@brentrosencrans3968 Be silent, you man hater
Agreed
I literally dumped my first girlfriend after years of not being able to get over it, I felt like she had a lot of experiences to know that she's making the right decision but that I didn't have anyone to compare her with.
It is better to do a medical check up, see if she is healthy , without any STD or other underline deceases and can conceive healthy babies , you should be good. Because once you have babies your priorities change.
Perfect step taken
The weird thing about sexual experience is that it doesn't make you better at choosing. It makes you less likely to commit. People get accustomed to wandering.
Same. After six years she told me I am her plan B. My gut and disgust told it to me the whole time.
@@dorn885 Damn, talk about getting comfortable. I hope you left that relationship behind and are doing better now.
You are wrong about the jealousy part, I thought you were based but your actually starting to show your real colors in these videos. You left out one very important detail, women LIE about their pasts or keep them hidden from men because they want to make themselves seem more valuable than they really are. Before know about her past hell fell in love with a woman that clearly is not the person he thought she was, that's the point.
Exactly.......No one is calling him out on that
This video is not at all about finding out your woman lied about her past. It's about why men get jealous about their past at all. Calm down.
@@Gnomesmusher any man with dignity has a right to get disgusted with his woman's past sexual history, especially if he was saving himself for marriage
@@aeganratheesh Where did I say he shouldn't be disgusted? But you and OP seem to think this video is defending women's past. You're both raging over some imagined offense.
@@Gnomesmusher by using the term "jealous" , he is defending women's careless behaviour
As a man once u care for a woman and love her then afterwards find out about her 304 behavior in the past it ruins your chance to love /trust again moving forward. It crushes u and you never forget
There are a few things at work here:
1. Paternity issues. If she slept around casually in the past, then you know she is capable of doing so. This causes legitimate insecurity in regards to having children with her.
2. Fraudulent valuation. Like it or not, we all enter into relationships by assessing the value of the other person to us and giving equal value in return (this is mostly subconscious). Men value purity because of natural selection. The men who didn’t value purity were less likely to reproduce. Given this, a woman presenting a fraudulent purity is getting a disproportionate value from the man. No one likes to be scammed.
3. The power of imagination. I would propose that many men feel the same way about past promiscuity as they do about cheating. The imagery in their minds is similar because they value purity.
Number 3…. Holy shit bro. Spot on. Her past was eating me like as if she had cheated. I can’t still fully comprehend why my core and intuition make such an association.
You hit it right on the head. Confirming a woman has had a varied past is confirming who she is.
Even if she claims to be different now, she is capable of whatever she's done before precisely because she did it before.
No 4: Lack of pair bonding capacity
Nowadays I dont think its jealousy but more disgust of a womans past.
I’ve fallen hard for many women in my life. The one I didn’t fall hard for - the one who just felt like a human I could spend forever with - is the one I married
Dude, there's something to this. It's like we sometimes confuse the "butterflies in our stomach" when it reality it could be our instinct kicking in and warning that she's not a good potential match. It makes more sense to be with the one who brings you peace than with the one who makes you feel "excited"
@@joaquin67 I wouldn't go there. What you're suggesting here is that we're supposed to not listen to an intense intuitive feeling within our guts. If there's butterflies - they're there for a reason. Doesn't have to mean anything for the relationship, all I am saying is that there's a reason you feel those butterflies and it's not your body trying to fool you
That's means that you slept with all those past women. High body count. It matters
@@Isaax not so sure about that. Ur body can fool u you very very bad. Trust me :(
@@thomaseberhard9056 yea man my body fools me all the time to make me do things i dont wanna do.
4:51 this exactly is the reason for devaluation of self esteem and hence emotional instability. The feeling is not exactly ‘jealousy’ it is just about overvaluing someone more than your logical brain allows for and the feeling of not being ‘any special’ to her, just another statistic in her mind, just another road-kill of infatuation/supposed love. Women don’t realize that being a sl*ut in the past takes the most emotional toll on the guy who really loves you and seeks to marry, in the present; the guy might eventually suck it up but he will always be repulsed inside and feel like a runt or a discardable ‘bottom of the barrel’ that she thinks she can settle/tolerate for her overall dependency.
However, this mental framework changes as instantly as you remove the possibility of marriage or starting a family, to something that you now beat on merit, the scores of men she’s been earlier with 😀. In all honesty, it’s weird how human emotions work, it’s kinda magical and purpose driven from a deeply existential level.
I'm glad you called them $luts becasuse that's exactly what most wo-MEN are today
This!!!
But men can sleep with as many women as they want and it doesn't affect their future wives, right?
To be honest it is the feeling of jealousy and the reason is basic, you feel jealous as you the good guy got to try so hard after she got wrecked when someone inferior to you (most of the time objectively inferior but always in the mind) had her when she was fresh.
That’s exactly the reason virginity in women was celebrated/safeguarded in various cultures all around the world for thousands of years. We sail in uncharted waters for the past 50 years.
The thing is, it’s the discovery that she’s had so many guys in her past you instinctually start to realise she has either been the town bicycle or she’s probably comparing you to other guys in her past. You wonder if you can live up to her expectations / standards and whether she will eventually leave you if her requirements are not met. I think it’s partly to do with performance comparison anxiety and the analysis of the integrity of the relationship.
the latest science on female desire has proven that you can't beat biological programming... after 3-5 yrs, romance plummets....
... Psychologist & Primatologist Dr. Kim Wallen (EmeryU Atlanta), has shown in his Rhesus monkey compounds, that female monkeys run the show wrt every aspect of monkey life, they are the Generals in War, the head of politics, they initiate ALL Sex, they do all the Objectifying (shock!) & don’t hesitate to abandon their children to chase after various objects of desire .. they're basically *RAW*. Male monkeys on the other hand, tend to live to the side of family life & are SWAPPED OUT after ~3 yrs…why ? the female monkeys get too bored to have sex w them (~3.5yrs in the wild) ... sound familiar ? If it does, no need to ever beat yourself up. Just don’t forget, gym/haircut.
[ See Daniel Bergner's 2013 TedX talk/Book "What do women really want" where he writes about 8 yrs worth of interviews w female & male researchers & scientists on the topic of female desire, a great read.. & likely a disturbing read for most civilized men ]
I experienced this first hand, hurts like a bitch. Long story short, at a party it was blurted out by her friends that she slept with 4 guys in one week. It totally shattered what I thought reality was and made me feel like a complete fool. I doubted my self worth for a long time after that and still haven't been bothered with dating since. And the fact it's all my fault. Aha.
It's not all your fault. And it's ok to not have respect for someone's poor behavior.
It's not your fault, you need to trust the other person if they are deceptive it's on them. My ex-wife told me that I made her cheat, totally delusional piece of work. They bring judgement upon themselves, has nothing to do with you. Avoid these types and take a long time before committing.
That’s probably the worst when it comes from her slutty friends, friends know everything. It’s okay playa !!!
Guys, please don't try to earn a woman whom many men had for free.
Nor try to marry a celibate woman who is celibate only to you, and has never asked a guy to wait till marriage.
From an evolutionary point of view, it is adaptive to be weary of women who exhibit cues of promiscuity. Such types are quite literally incompatible with long-term reproductive strategies.
"Unrestricted sociosexuality is associated with early life experiences with sex, more frequent sexual activity and a greater number of lifetime sex partners. Unrestricted men tend to have greater rape myth acceptance, past sexual aggression and more conservative attitudes about women than restricted men. Unrestricted women tend to have more sexual fantasies involving having power or control over another person and lower levels of sexual conservatism than restricted women."
"Unrestricted women are more motivated to engage in casual sex than restricted women as they perceive more benefits associated with short-term mating. These include sexual benefits (e.g., experiencing the novelty of a new partner), resource benefits (e.g., receiving expensive gifts) and the improvement of their seduction skills."
If a society is to progress and maintain itself, then it must curb promiscuity. The type of man that invests in families and works long ours for the benefit of the group will not sacrifice his life for women who essentially reward non-fatherly types with the short term benefits of obtaining reproduction through short-term flings. If not, the society will simply collapse into individualism, and the value of preferring dads over cads will be reinstalled into the population's remnants.
In short, women-being the literal gatekeepers to the future-can either choose civilized society or the ruthlessness of the jungle.
Omg! I think I just found out how to get over my ex. She is, and was never special! Getting over her was hard because I thought that I would not be able to find someone like her again. Thanks doc for the info.
That's why I CAN'T get over my ex, she's not special, which means ANY woman can and will act like her.
If she was special, it could be just a exception case, but since she's just an 'everygirl' now I expect every woman to fuck me over like she did, because she was nothing special.
Ditto!!
Never look back or go back.
@@allangilfoil1648 true!!!!!!
But she doesn’t want you, your not the one choosing. Have fun playing with this bandaid.
My experience with this subject isn't idealizing the woman I am currently with. It's the fact that I have an ideal of what a good, modest woman is, and the girl I am currently dating does not meet that ideal.
She has some amazing qualities, but it's hard to keep the disgust of knowing that she's hooked up with randoms and had a bunch of one night stands. It bothers me and it comes to my mind every other day. I really wish it wasn't a problem and that I just didn't care
I hope you find a solution.
Some guys in the past have used your special woman as a warm body with holes.
That feeling friggin hurts. For some stupid reason.
@WildChild
It’s WAY different.
A skeleton key that opens many doors is priceless.
A lock that open with any key is useless.
Most men would sxex most women. Most women would only sxex very few men.
Im the end, women choose if they want to open their legs for a man.
The best predictor for future behavior is based on past.
Women focus on what man come bring to the future, men focus on the merit, integrity, non-whoreness of their past.
@@rambojohnj.6117 So if the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, you're telling us that YOU can't be trusted because of YOUR past.
@@lorrilewis2178
I know my past.
Infinitely loyal. Respectful. Trustworthy. Non-deceiving. Honest.
With a woman you may love, she was never “yours”.
It was simply your “turn.”
it is hardly irrational. there is a very real threat as a man. you have to be even better than ALL of her past partners- she is comparing you to everyone else she slept with or was in a relationship with.
men do the same to us.
It's called the Alpha Widow effect
@@EC-yl7xk and your point is...
@@EC-yl7xkNo. Men NEVER ever do that. Men love incomprehensibly different to women.
@@dominikvonlavante6113they do. Men who have been with double/triple digits expect performance and satisfying sex life as one of the bare minimum for a long term relationship
When a woman talks about her past, don't just hear her.....LISTEN!!! ANALYZE!!!
What you may discover is that her "past" is a precursor to how you'll be dealt with in the future.
Jealousy is the wrong label.
More like disgust
Insecurity and lack of maturity. Women are human beings, just like you guys.
I am a Male and aged 58 but when I was young and a virgin myself, my mind would not let me marry anyone who was not a virgin. The more I tried to change my mind on this, the more mental and emotional pain I encountered.
This says something about free will. I could not change my mind on this no matter how hard I tried. I did not have the freedom of will to change how I thought and felt.
I couldn't go back to any former Girlfriend I have had in my life ( knowing that they have been with other Guys ). I would feel dirty like I was wearing someone else’s underwear.
"I would feel dirty like I was wearing someone else’s underwear." Just bring a Massengill douche with you!
Agree 100% it’s very uncomfortable and gross, don’t want to spend a lifetime committed to girl like that. And also yes it’s not a nice feeling and very unnatural something a women can never understand.
Once you understand that when a women sleeps with a man she’s essentially wanting to have his kids you understand how it’s not casual and is very unsettling for the poor guys that commit to her afterwards. This was never a thing for 99% of human history only in modern times can women rack up 20+ guys without getting a disease, pregnant or something else that would hinder a high body count.
Its not jealousy, its disgust.
My fiancée is a virgin so she lives up to the ideals in my concept of her.
Can’t be jealous if there’s no past.
Some real truth bombs in this one! Could be an hour long conversation or more as it does go deeper. Just like a previous episode when you talked about paying more for something she’s given away for free in the past.
Despite what most women think, it’s not “jealousy “ that’s the issue. It’s much deeper.
It is better to do a medical check up, see if she is healthy , without any STD or other underline deceases and can conceive healthy babies , you should be good. Because once you have babies your priorities change.
Its an amalgam of different things. For me it is mainly the disrespect. She didnt value her body or have any respect for herself. It was all about pleasure, unmitigated overindulgent instant gratification for her.
Whatever is happening is when men mess up a good relationship.
@@Maybe-cg2tn You still dont get it. That detail tinges and stains the relationship. In that case, it wasnt that good of a relationship afterall.
@@Maybe-cg2tn ayeee we found the 304
We should Prioritize "Mandatory Paternity Test" for all women who are pregnant and have given birth.
So many marriages and relationships would split if that happens
@@pistisbalu2021 ...it is for the greater good!
I love how the Dr curses. It makes him relatable.
In my case its not really jealousy. I think dating, and becoming emotionally invested in a woman is truly an investment, and you want to be sure you're making a smart investment before you become too serious.
Sex has been de-valued by society for decades and women have been told to "live their best life" and give it away to every cute guy who looks their way... I think people should live life how they want, so I'm not shaming anyone for "having fun" ... The problem is, relationships tended to work better in the past because most people only had sex within the confines of a relationship. Most regular men got into relationships because that was really the only way they could expect to have sex regularly. Hookup culture has made sex ALOT cheaper and less special than it used to be. And realistically speaking, women in their 20s (who are even decent looking) have the most access to being able to "exploit" the current social sexual system and have absurd amounts of casual sex with relatively high value men on a very regular basis with dating apps. Again... not shaming, just calling it like it is. I also recognize that many women are totally uncomfortable with hooking up, and only have sex within the confines of relationships but I seriously doubt thats the majority in 2023.
Women who typically have a "casual view" towards sex are red flags for LTRs imo
Why would any self respecting man want to pay the high price of commitment and loyalty for sexual access to a woman who doesn't even respect her own sexuality enough to save it for people she truly has a connection with..?
I'm not saying she has to be a virgin to be dateable (not at all) but if she's keen to have sex with you after a date or two, thats probably how she's gone about things in the past with other guys, and you're probably just the flavour of the week.. most guys are OK with that however, if I'm actually looking for a LTR and potentially marriage/kids, I want a woman who respects the volatility of sex (both emotional and physical) and carries herself with a bit more dignity than the current societal standard... but that's just me.
You're right, you're right. You're smart. To sum up, sex's been devalued and it's not special anymore so neither people are. People just use people like objects. It's the consumerist culture, everything is about to consume even people themselves. It's a dehumanized society.
Talk your shit bro
Respect is lost, when that happens you can't take her seriously, you can't imagine her being with you long term, you can't imagine her being by your side when you need her, you can't imagine being sure whether you will actually be the father. You can't imagine building your future if you're worried about her sticking around.
Basically, if such a woman is in your life, you are being forced to become needy, because she's not capable of long term relationships, and you'll have to put in all the work, and for what? She'll become un-attracted to the man anyway because the man becomes needy.
The is also a great example of the polarizing differences between men and women. Women care way more about a man’s future than she does his past. Men care way more about her past than they do her future. Women often don’t see the big deal about their “body count” because they assume men care more about her future (extremists tend to believe this is how it should be). Conversely, men don’t understand why his future is so important (usually expressed in way of his career and/or status-lifestyle) as they care more about her past (and some extremists think this is how it should be too).
Furthermore, as a man I know I can guide, direct, and influence the future I share with my woman in a positive manner. Yet most women want men to help them process and reconcile the negative aspects of her past, which I had zero influence over and was not a participant.
Its not extreme. Its natural. Women care for provision, men care for exclusivity.
Men can tolerate a few partners.
It is quite different when it is a long, long line of varying partners.
@@munkqiking7207 it’s an extreme view when a woman thinks that’s how it should be- in other words, men should think like women.
The past is a strong indicator of the couple's future.
Past behaviour is the best indicator of future behaviour.
Don't think it is jealousy, it is disgust.
Nailed it again. Love this channel. I think its right in front of the knee of its curve.
One topic psychologists seem to have no clue how to navigate is the psychology of a father who has lost everything to a malicious mother in family court. As one myself, the DEsocialization of that experience has placed me in unchartered territory.
the latest science on female desire has proven that you can't beat biological programming... after 3-5 yrs, romance plummets....
... Psychologist & Primatologist Dr. Kim Wallen (EmeryU Atlanta), has shown in his Rhesus monkey compounds, that female monkeys run the show wrt every aspect of monkey life, they are the Generals in War, the head of politics, they initiate ALL Sex, they do all the Objectifying (shock!) & don’t hesitate to abandon their children to chase after various objects of desire .. they're basically *RAW*. Male monkeys on the other hand, tend to live to the side of family life & are SWAPPED OUT after ~3 yrs…why ? the female monkeys get too bored to have sex w them (~3.5yrs in the wild) ... sound familiar ? If it does, no need to ever beat yourself up. Just don’t forget, gym/haircut.
[ See Daniel Bergner's 2013 TedX talk/Book "What do women really want" where he writes about 8 yrs worth of interviews w female & male researchers & scientists on the topic of female desire, a great read.. & likely a disturbing read for most civilized men ]
I'm in my thirties and I beg you young guys and teenangers please don't ever fall in love. Don't be stupid as I was. It just ruins your existence in multiple ways, directly and indirectly.
Most women will never understand this, because they would have already destroyed & disqualified themselves for future partners by the time they figure it out & then they will blame.... guess who 🤫
What makes you think they don't understand? Why else would they conceal their past from potential long-term partners?
It broke my brain when you said that the idealization and idolization of women is what men use to justify marriage to themselves 🤯😆 I kinda had my heart trampled on by someone really important to me a few years ago, and ever since, I haven’t even been able to entertain the idea of falling in love again. The thought of committing myself to a woman now feels the way vinegar tastes. And I wonder if that’s because the illusion has been broken for me.
Part of it is that, before I had my first relationship, I placed a high value on chastity and virginity-not just women’s, but mine as well. Since I’m not a virgin anymore, I feel like I couldn’t properly belong to another woman, even if I found one who’s worth the trouble. I know this line of thinking is completely irrational, but I haven’t been able to break free from it. 😪😅
I turned 41 not too long ago so take this for what you will. I learned that love is not something that you give away as in your heart will be crushed because you as a man are sacrificing it in a way for someone else to keep and take care of. What you do is share your ' love', like a light, you don't hand it out but rather take care of it yourself and shine it upon those you like and wish to see it. At some point if things go well for you you will also become strong enough to realize that you are strong enough to weather heartbreak.
Its not irrational. Ive had a string of casual encounters after initially losing my virginity to my first GF.
We feel that shame for a reason. It becomes less intimate and you have to work on establishing the ability to emotionally bond again. Loss of pairbonding doesnt just happen to women, it happens to men too. (Though it is easier for men to re establish that emotional bonding)
In the end, it is always better with someone you have a genuine emotional connection with.
NOT irrational at all. SPOT ON
"And I wonder if that’s because the illusion has been broken for me." Yup. Many YT RP content creators comment on how rough it is on dudes, when they become red pill aware..
@@M0viLover It is rough, but I don’t want to conclude that my situation is necessarily worse because of it, or that I’m permanently scarred. I think it’s just time for a new way of doing things-we can’t expect the old ways to work anymore, and when we do expect that, we get hurt. I’m trying to embrace moving forward and being open to new kinds of relationships and experiences. It’s kind of experimental, though.
“Disgust” is the original word not jealousy
I think this is incomplete, but it's a good place to start. She's not an angel guys. She's just a woman. Don't pedestalize her and you'll have a healthier relationship.
For me if a man does not see me as "special", I won't be with him.
@@Maybe-cg2tn Not special if a woman shares herself with a slew of men.
Its disrespectful to yourself.
@@Maybe-cg2tn I'll put it this way.
Special implies rare, valuable, unique.
Women have easy access to sex.
Men have to work and build themselves up to gain access (except Chad, women all fawn over Chad).
Men have to work much more for it. Women dont.
So women arent working anywhere near as much as men just to gain access at the bare minimum.
Women have an abundance of opportunities, men dont. If every dude is getting a piece of the action, it isnt rare or valuable or special.
The more dudes, the less rare, valuable or special it feels for the man you might want to have a relationship with.
It is utterly disrespectful to herself and her body aswell as to that potential partner
@@Maybe-cg2tn There's a difference between "special" and "angel." Plenty of people are special, men and women alike. None of them are angels. Men need to stop treating women like they're princesses. They're just people.
@@Maybe-cg2tn Also, that promiscuous past doesnt make him feel special at all.
Quite the opposite. But you dont care how he feels.
Thats why you and all the women (and manginas) here are arguing against it.
You feel entitled to crap on his feelings but demand he take your feelings seriously.
Its disrespectful. Plain and simple.
And also prove women were never interested in equality, they were just interested in clamoring for more privileges for themselves.
Opportunists and solipsists make for poor partners.
I am dealing with this right now and struggling with it. A guy from my girlfriend’s past texted her yesterday and her being forthcoming she let me know about it. She followed through by deleting the message without responding, blocking him and then deleting his contact. Him texting is not where my concern lies. My concern lies in finding out that they were just each other’s casual hookup, that the timeframe of their situation was only 4-5 months before we met and that I am the first guy she dated after their hookup phase ended.
Yeah.....get out & run!! while you can.
How did u managed that?
It's hard to run but you need to run. And it is very hard, very fucking hard, it is so hard that it is impossible. Because you can't pick up girls, because you think you won't get a girl like her
She did the right thing when presented with the dilemma- but she needs to understand your disgust. And that it is natural for you to feel it.
Did you think that you got the virgin Mary???? Lol
Its NOT Jealousy, its DISGUST. To say jealousy is borderline gaslighting as most men feel disgust rather than jealousy.
Men disgusted by a woman having sex
Sounds not so straight
It's frustrating how many analyses default to pinning everything on male insecurity. Trust and reliability are foundational, and they aren't synonymous with a partner's extensive past. Why is it so hard to understand that for some, less "mileage" might mean more peace of mind?
For me, it was a little bit different. I was more jealous of the guys that were able to hook up easily and were still respected, and admired by the women. Like they knew he was a player but liked it. He was the one they slept with or went on vacations with in between boyfriends (the boyfriends that had to invest time, money and commitment) and they never shamed him for it. They actually shared him with other women that were going through the same thing. I don’t know if that makes sense but it is for me.
I think most men in this situation when they find out she’s been around, ask themselves these two questions: 1. If all the other dudes passed on her, why should I invest in her? And 2. If she was the one who passed on all those other guys, why should he believe she is capable of standing the test of time with him? The best predictor of future outcomes is past behavior.
It's largely the same for women. ''This guy has had many girlfriends but never married, I wonder what's wrong with him''.
@@TGP109 Yes, I agree, but men and women place different levels of value on similar things. While women may carry about a man's past, it usually isn't to the same degree as a man cares for the past of a woman; Similarly, while a man may care about the amount of financial status a woman has, it isn't to the same degree as a woman usually cares.
@@TGP109that’s not true at all. Men are the ones who decide to propose to women
Women feel the same when they learn that their love was more romantic with his ex who cheated on him etc.
When she broke his heart, you come along and try to be the best gf and then he punishes you...
But if he has randomly fucked 20/30 plus women it's ok.
True I think that when you find out that your partner was putting in more effort or behaving in a better way for an ex than they are for you can be frustrating to both sexes. It can make you feel less valued or appreciated.
I couldn't have said it better. Men carry trauma and give it to their nice girlfriends.
I get that high body counts/ past are an issue for most men but some men don't realize it's difficult for women to take a guy who consumes 'adult content' frequently since age 10 and think that that will have zero effect on how he relates to you physically or emotionally.
This is the single best relationship advice video I have ever seen. We were promised chaste wives and mothers, we got used up trash. Society failed.
Yeah right. What's your body count??? Maybe your not any better than a woman ??
Society didn't fail, we're still figuring it out. At worst, you can say we were lied to, but now that we're aware, the only person we can blame from this point on is ourselves
No one is promising chaste wives anymore. All we get is Chad's used goods for the full retail price
You werent promised anything and nobody owes you anything
Whoa, there needs to be a ‘my mind’s blown’ emoji for this video! Very insightful. It’s cool to hear the male perspective. Doc you are incredibly insightful. Thank you.
This is actually more complex than I thought actually… I’m not sure there’s any cure to this feeling though, I may be wrong but it will always be there
It is better to do a medical check up, see if she is healthy , without any STD or other underline deceases and can conceive healthy babies , you should be good. Because once you have babies your priorities change. Just think of starting a family, stop working about anything else.
The best cure is to avoid them and vet them well.
It can't be fixed. I always compare it with death.
Just like the quote, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
I haven´t watched it yet, but I´m relieved I´m not the only one with this problem. Dating would be so much easier if I could get over it, but I just can´t. And I think I have good reasons as to why her sexual past absolutely matters. A lot of previous sex and particular casual sex really devalues the meaning of sex: If you had sex with several guys that you didn´t even know, how can this act still be an expression of trust and intimacy? Statistically it also increases the rate of divorce and infidelity. Also there is the jealousy part: For you, your woman is about the most precious thing in your life. You probably took your time and built a deep emotional connection with her. But for her previous lover she was just a cheap little toy.
But nowadays casual sex seems to be the norm, which makes me extremely cautious in my dating life. It seems you cannot trust any women, as they often hide it well, but ultimately even seemingly nice and innocent women are engaging in this crap.
One particular depressing thing I overheard was, when she deliberately wanted to "take it slow" with a guy - but meanwhile she still had casual sex "just for fun". I honestly think this is worse than cheating. I know that sounds crazy, and most won´t agree. But I really feel that way. It´s like she is cheating with you before you even are together.
Yeah man, sex has no meaning nowadays, it's just a tool to "have fun". I find it pretty childish. So sex is so devalued and people use people to consume them just as other objects. Also, it's so sad that there are different girls with some standards but since their friends give themselves away, they feel they're different and it's wrong, so they just follow the trend. Society corrupts the few ones who are good.
Besides, If you have strong emotions towards someone, it'll be absolutely disgusting knowing for example what has happened with the mouth you're kissing.
Finally, yeah that's the way of dating...they date many guys in different ways at the same time and after some time they just pick one of them as their partners. So if you're dating someone, she's probably sleeping with others at the same time; and don't even mention to her you love her, that's so creepy!!!! You just have to wait and see if she decides to make you officially her partner.
Very interesting comment especially that last paragraph
Her past does matter. But so does yours don't forget
@@bro918 agreed
It’s not jealousy it’s the inability to pair bond
correct
Agreed, and this applies to men too.
@@Amlux1984 As a woman I agree. dated damaged men who were players.
@@EC-yl7xk Rare one😂
Most men are INCAPABLE of Pair Bonding (though that's current buzz word). For most men, women are ONLY important for sexual availability, domestic chores, emotional support--and sometimes also bringing income in from outside job. Most men are so UNDERDEVELOPED emotonaly, they ahve no idea how to love or "pair bond". Yet, they've got lots of opinions on how women should act! LOOK IN THE MIRROR, Guys!
When buying a used car, you need to check the mileage, previous owners, accidents, water damage, inquire about rideshare/rental usage, and do a thorough check for electrical gremlins.
And crabs.
There it is. Comparing women to objects
I think that the marriage contract is insane.
remember fellas, and in summary: she aint yours to keep, its just your turn. The only thing I would add to this, is he said "treat her like another women, not better no less" true, but add an adjective here, "treat her like another MODERN women, no better no less"
Currently in a relationship with a woman who’s had a promiscuous past.
I really have a difficult time to deal with it, especially given how young she was, and how casually it appears to have happened. I was the polar opposite, and although I am aware of this, I’m still unable to mentally and emotionally bring myself to accept how it’s possible to just have casual sex with random strangers from the club..
She feels I’m judgemental, which I do not deny.. and sadly it seems I’ll not be able to make peace with this situation.
It sounds like you and your girlfriend have a different mind set to sex. I don't think it will work out. There been studies that show promiscuous women have more trouble being with one person compare to a person who is not promiscuous. You can try retroactive jealousy advice, but I would go with your gut feeling about this.
She says your judgmental, but everyone is judgmental. If you was super ugly or have other problems. Would she still get with you, no she would not. We judge each other looking for what we want in another person. If you are look for someone for the long term. You might just what to cut your loss. You two may not be compatible. The longer this go on, the harder it will be to end it. Especially if you have kids together. A lot of people are promiscuous and try to shame you to accept it.
A lot of people gave up the expectations of a long term relationship and go with the advice. It's not your girl, it's just your turn. Enjoy the ride while it last, but be ready when the ride ends. The ride might last 1 year or 10 years. Maybe it might last longer, but don't count on it.,
been there, done that. women too learn from their experiences, and maybe, she's a better person now and not letting guys hit & quit. most women fuck like that for ATTENTION. i don't know a single woman who gets fucked like that bc she likes a lot of random DNA dripping out of her.
the issue for you isn't giving her dick she can be satisfied with... bc she's got sooooo much dick experience. the real issue for you is providing both the quantity & variety of attention she's received in the past. it's hard for one man to give that much attention and that much varied attention on-top of it. what you'll eventually hear is, "i'm bored... i need to find myself," or quite simply, "i'm not happy."
it's one thing replacing chad & tyrone in her vagina... but replacing chad & tyrone in her emotional bank will become tiresome. she came from the streeeets... and you may have to send her back to those streets.
It's hard because your girlfriend partipated in a world you also wanted to participate in but were never allowed into. Girls like that hurt their future partner 1,000 times before they ever meet them, then lay the emotional burden of their own actions on their partner to get over.
Dont be ashamed that you have basic standards.
@@johnw3922 are you saying that the issue is not that she had sex, it’s that you didn’t get to have sex? If you had the same number of sexual experiences, would it bother you as much?
I had a girlfriend that ticked ALL the boxes until she said she had 2 guys at the same time dvp... Ruined it completely.
I'm not sure if it is jealousy? I think that body count is important because people (not just women) with high body counts tend to respect others (and themselves) less.
For me it's; I would never love my second hand car the same way I did my newly bought car