@Fenwick Chick The part about trad wifes made me laugh, thank you for that! I think you are right, a stereotypical incel might not be open to data he does not want to hear, and that the problem runs deeper. But also, they are a group made of individuals, and some individuals might even get something out of these datapoints. These men are hurting! We need to try to help them whichever way we can. It can also help to say where they are right. Because: Feminism did gum up the works of society. With a lot of help from the pill and very special generational circumstances (a looot of young people without guidance because esp. Older men were so decimated through two world wars). There is no denying we have lost our way I think. But women being cleaning and cooking sex bots is not the answer to that. And hey, I'm a traditional wife, but I would not feel good being reduced to something like that, I would run! They did see some patterns that are objectively wrong but their interpretation of what to do with that is skewed. What I mean is: we need to show incels some love too. Affirming the good in them, sometimes tough love. Perhaps even datapoints 😉 Then they will be much more able to love themselves one day too
Having a community/social circle around you is so important. It not only introduces you to other people but also gives you a true sense of worth and confidence.
If you're a below average looking guy the social circle won't matter. You'll be there but just be unwanted when it comes to sex and dating. It can be an even worse feeling than not socialising with women at all.
True self confidence comes from within, not from your social circle. Also, if you derive your self worth from your social circle, you’ve built a house of cards in regards to your self esteem.
And shows people can stand you long enough to maintain a relationship with you hehe it's silly but true, toxic people burn through relationships and can't maintain it, and insecure guys don't put themselves out there enough
Johny Depp or Ricky Martin types in their young age are much more appealing than Giga Chad. These guys are pretty boys, some will say feminine but they would get way more girls than giga chad.
@@joeshugabowski1444 they were very sexy. The overly muscular, extremely masculine guy is attractive to the male gaze. For women, what we find sexy in men is the good looks but the way they look at you, the charm, the way they make you feel at ease. The female gaze sees a sexiness that isn’t about any overly muscular body. It’s more the charisma, good looks but mixed with confidence and a man who really loves women and knows what to do with them. Some very masculine men don’t have the same sex appeal and don’t seem to even like the company of women very much. These men have a much better understanding of what women actually want.
There was some study that debunked the dark triad thing by controlling for physical attractiveness. Basically you can get away with a lot by being good-looking.
@@Locke350 yea but this is mostly used as an excuse by guys that dont want to put the effort in to working on their confidence. Carrying yourself confidently is a different behaviour than being creepy. Even attractive men can exhibit creepy behaviour that gets noticed as such.
The range of ideas and opinions you see in this comment section is actually kind of inspiring. Very interesting to see this discussion actually going somewhere.
@@ImAMenace i agree. Internet comment sections may seem like it contains smart people, but just because theyre articulate, doesnt mean that they are right.
I'm a youth counselor and familiar with anti-male driven abuse in my culture. When he says men in some of these groups think women are attracted to anti-social behavior it clicked with what I see in my work. Young men are so accustomed to anti-male rhetoric, hostility and outright abuse (to varying degrees), that being treated this way becomes completely normal to them. In the day to day subtleties, the default is to be deprived of empathy, not have opportunities to share what they experience without being mocked or people getting angry, especially if they have any suffering, barriers or struggle. Their moms, female teachers and girls in school will immediately make it a competition of victimhood. This can get mixed into other social situations, and young men get contradictory messages. A girl might actually like them, but at the same time rejects his care and kindness. If it is normal to be treated with hostility (anti-social responses), then young men treat this as the default in general without any comparison otherwise. Additionally, if the girl they like or female friends actually treat kindness as a sign of ulterior motives, or hyper-sexualize the man as a predator with nefarious intentions, then it's easy for him to conclude women don't like kind, caring, vulnerable behavior.
best way I've ever heard that out friend.. or basically, it's hot if chad does it, not hot when a sub 5 male does it.. simple as that.. and I've been on the chad side of life, more than the invisible side.. being 40 and all, I'm older..
As a girl, I'm so happy someone is not scared of admitting that many women today, like their mothers and teachers, will use victim cards and and use victimhood as competition. I have no idea how to do it how they do, and frankly its extremely intimidating and makes you feel guilty, including me. I personally hate that comparing privileges mentality thats very common nowadays. Everyones got privileges, that's just the way the world works, it's about not taking them seriously and building your life with whatever you've got.
One theory I have is that men have features that intimidate and keep other men at bay, helping establish and order among men. These features help keep a mate, but are not necessarily attractive to the other gender. Facial structure as he explained, other dudes look at that and think I cant compete with him. A woman might look at that and think "I prefer other features". It is these two that I think are often conflated.
This may be why guys like me like the Michele Trachtenberg type and not the Hayden Panettiere type. We like girl next door type because they may be less of a catch to the chad types, at least in our lizard brains.
@@stefanmatton8778 Let's take massive trapezius muscles as an example. Intimidating to other men, but not neccessarily attractive to women. Extremely pronounced brow ridge, intimidates other men, but may look too brutish to other women. Strong Calve muscles won't intimidate other men, but are attractive to women. Many such cases!
Giga chad as well as the chad in the virgin vs chad meme is an exaggeration of masculine traits. I am not surprised that women don't find such exaggerations attractive. after all many men don't find women with huge Dolly Parton utters attractive nor do most men find Nicki Minaj style "Chicken Run" hips attractive. Kind of re assuring that humans are still attracted to human shaped humans.
Exactly what I was thinking. It’s a weird thing that’s been going on for the last 30 years and progressively getting worse. The exaggeration of sexual features. Lips, hips, breast…and now men have been caught up in this trend.
@@stevenbragg85 Yeah, the number of bodybuilders that (to my straight male eyes and brain that thinks with fairly intuitive insight) have built their bodies to be as big and muscular as possible in a way that is disproportionate to unchangeable features about the human body like head size, foot size, etc. and just look grotesque is wild. It's the male version of eating disorders for sure. No one in a tribal setting is going to get that jacked. As such, it's uncanny to our evolutionary minds, just as a woman with impossibly smooth skin (makeup), impossibly red lips (makeup), impossibly large assets (implants, fillers, and endocrine disruptors in the environment) and impossibly thin frame (eating disorder made possible by a sedentary lifestyle) seems gross to men. In my mind, the best you're going to look is from a very healthy lifestyle with maybe a few hygienic and cosmetic modifications like eyebrow threading your unibrow or braces for your teeth ruined by modern foods. Aggressively take care of your health for three years and see how you look. Hell, I bet if we took identical twins and had one live a very healthy lifestyle while the other lives the average American lifestyle, the healthy one will have better developed features, a more attractive face and bone structure, taller height, better skin, etc. despite having the exact same genetics. Screw blackpillers, there's truth to you being "capped" but a lot of their failure starts with a bad lifestyle and is multiplied from there. Especially the young ones. Your body is still growing as a teen, you can boost HGH through diet, sleep, and exercise and come out of puberty much more attractive. How many male models ate only junk food in their teens, played videogames and no exercise, and got terrible sleep? I doubt it's very many.
A female will only gaslight a unatractive man if he ask’s questions about her mateing habits or desires. That is tell him what he want’s to hear= that she will love him for who he is ( like his mother). And not for his sexual market value. Females are created with less mussel/strenght, but higher social intelligence. They are created to survive and to pass on genetics. And harvest genetics that has a high odds of survival. Finding a sexy man ( good health), a man with social connections, skills, resources, leader of men or part of the many traits they look for. It’s never a « one answer», they want it all 😂. But in the short term mateing game look’s and abillity to flirt/social skills/game= 95% of importance. Long term mateing strategy is a different story
@@dreadedsun69 Most women want kind, compassionate and confident partners. According to your logic they now want rude, sociopathic and insecure men? Gotcha.
@@MonkeyDIvan Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying this applies to all women. I'm speaking more in general terms. There are some women that are exceptional who really do want the traits you describe, but they are a very small percentage nowadays. Women are all about feeling and emotion. As long as you can keep them entertained, they will stay around.
Two problems with "becoming more of what you are" 1. What is the likelihood you will find someone that is looking for that? 2. What is the likelihood that it will be someone *you'd* find attractive?
Move to a big city to find someone. You'll have much much better odds. If you already live in a big city move to another possibly bigger one. Move countries if you have to.
A single response to both questions: The probability is slim, so continue your search. The advice you ought to consider: Achievement with women = Authenticity level multiplied by the number of women you genuinely interact with. In simpler terms: Step away from your comfort zone and begin engaging with more women, communicate openly, and filter through them. Yes, many won't be compatible, but that's just life. Some men are genuine but only interact with a handful of new women annually, then wonder why they haven't been successful in the past year.
It's a slim likelihood, but you can increase your chances by being in places where likeminded people congregate. Expend your social circle(s) and work towards being highly regarded within these groups. Even then, it might take a while. Took me until the age of 29, which was painful, but it's one of the best things life has to offer and thus worth every lonely minute of waiting.
@Fenwick Chick Yup. The only difference, however, would be the distinction of result-based intent. The OK Cupid data, though things are definitely manipulated, still shows real-life intent. The judgement of the digital image of a fake person includes the foreknowledge that the person isn’t real, and no effect/result will come from the judgement.
@Fenwick Chick I don’t disagree, but even highly controlled observational studies inject bias or influence the participants in ways they can’t perceive. It’s unavoidable. The OK Cupid data is useful, since the men and women weren’t influenced one way or another, except via the constrains of the platform (e.g. photos, text, etc.), and of course the algorithms. Nevertheless, if the algorithm feeds you only X, Y, and Z types, and you reject them all, it suggests you reject X, Y, and Z types. The primary issue with dating apps is that they give the illusion of infinite choice. So even a 10/10 by your standards yesterday, may only be a 7/10 today since, with infinite choice, there’s always a true 10/10 around the corner (that you haven’t seen, and is implied by incite choice). And sure, things like garbage photos men take will have an impact (a limitation of the platform / medium of introduction). On the flip side, men see endless profiles with women having filtered their photos, fill makeup, etc. There’s also the fact that men don’t go around gaming picture if themselves, their friends, etc. Women, on the other hand, take endless photos of themselves, each other, etc. Thus, women not only filter themselves, coat themselves with makeup, etc., but they also have a massive volume of photos to sample from, whereas men have a couple. What you see on men’s profiles tends to be 50% of all photos of them in existence, other than a passport or drivers license photo.
Women will lie about a man’s attractiveness if he matches or exceeds her own level of attractiveness just because she knows that she will have to constantly compete for his attention. Which is why some women find average features attractive. deep down she still finds the gigachads attractive, they just don’t want to have to compete for them. Women want men to always be in the position of competing for their attention/loyalty and never the other way around. What men they find attractive is heavily based on this metric.
the latest man i fell in love with and felt attracted to, i complimented the things i appreicated about him. His teeth, eyes, arms, shoulders etc... I did not lie or downtalk him. I wanted to lift him up and boost him. You write like you got it all figured out but i think you don't.
From my experience this is very true nowadays. I think women actually lack of confidence in Anglo countries. Speaking of the UK and US. They will sleep with the really handsome guy but they insecurities will always stop them committing to someone better looking than them. They desire them strongly. But love and desire can be 2 different things. I myself am above average good looking and I seem to find it easy to sleep with women and a lot of times on more than 1 occasion. So many also have BFs. Usually not as good looking as them, sometimes drastically not. Sometimes what a woman loves and sexually desires are 2 different things. Just most women are unaware of this, lie about it to sound nice or keep it secret. But having been to France, lived in Portugal and been to Vienna recently . Women really appreciate Male beauty and handsomeness. I found them less nervous, far more confident and more affectionate. The Anglo world is infected by hateful feminism I feel that creates a power dynamic.
The 'love/hate' is a real thing. They have done testing/studies with newscasters or media personalities and this is verifiable. People will of course watch who the love, but they will also watch people they hate / can't stand.
What woman say they like, and what they actually like are completely different things. They can talk as much as they want about wanting a good family man, but if you observe the real life, majority of them are dating the completely opposite kind of men.
Hmmm... You raise an interesting point. Now I have two questions. In the dating pool I wonder what percentage of the available men are actually family men? Also would most women be able to recognize the traits of a family man when they see him?
@Fenwick Chick I see you around here, and while you're always civil and articulate, we don't always agree. Gotta say you're 1000% spot on with this tho. Sex is watered down to an unbelievable degree these days. Sex should be shared with people who are incredibly serious about each other. You can't simply decouple the process of procreating and the pair bonding hormones/processes associated with it. The sexual revolution is a failure
@FenwickChick Me. I paid out a lot of money to women who weren't going to put out. After a while, you just realize you're being an idiot and they're deliberately exploiting you. You're getting different replies because you're talking to different men. When everyone is replying the same, those are NPCs.
What women are attracted to depends on where they are in their cycle. The optimal guy is the one who balances both the masculine and feminine where she always finds delight in the fact that a singular individual can embody her entire universe.
You men complicate things too much it has nothing to do with that it has to do with empathy & kindness. Most guys are just assholes cause they seem to be conditioned to this or they just see women as things and treat relationships as a transaction. It's not hard but none of you men seem to get that!
@@restrelax4536 Looks (including height) are way more important than empathy and kindness. A short and ugly guy who is kind and empathic will never get a girl that can also have a handsome tall guy. That's a universal fact even though women deny it because they either lie or are self-delusional.
I’m not a gold digger. My boyfriend makes $19/hr when I’m getting paid way more. But what I find sexy is his work ethic. Because it shows me he’s a dedicated person who devotes himself to his family.
I agree. My dad never earned alot of money but he'd have fought a lion to keep me safe if he had too. He was the strongest man I ever knew. When me and my partner got together he had 20k of debt, we cleared it together, as a team. Now my daughter has a fantastic father to look up to like I did. He's not a big earner, and will never be, but he's a big dad. Solid, like mine was.
Sometimes a woman can see a very handsome man and not give him any vibes because she may think he’s got too many options and she doesn’t have a shot at him even though she may find him to be her type and very attractive to her. It works both ways. Sometimes the good looking people don’t get as many approaches as some may think.
@@appendix-q6k we say cope as many people like yourself just won't accept the fact or find it difficult to accept that women are visually discriminatory and very much so! They are much more looks visual than men and will downplay the fact that women treat attractive men better and that's not just dating but ordinary everyday life like schools, workplaces. Outdoor Public interactions, public services, checkout stands, bank clerk hatches the list goes on!Attractive men do get far better treatment by women in fact the treatment is almost night and day different! , more choosing signals, alot more choosing signals! women usually don't approach men but sometimes they just flat out approach the attractive man directly particularly in clubs and bars which never happens to the average man and certainly not Unattractive men. The fact is women treat attractive much better and give them more choosing signals which is basically a indirect approach in its own right! Women treat them better in interactions which explains why attractive men do far better with the women. For Unattractive men it's the complete opposite of this, dirty looks of disgust when you get in their visual field , cold or disinterested interactions, condescending rude or been ignored In interactions. No choosing signals whatsoever.
I'm quite, very soft spoken, and very introverted. Though, I do have the capability of being extroverted in the right circumstances. Not every woman is attracted to me, but the ones who are, they're *very* attracted to me. What Rollo would call "genuine burning desire." I've been rejected by average looking women that I asked out. I've also had women who I never would have thought I had a chance with chase after me. This idea that ALL women are into some loud mouthed "alpha male" like Andrew Tate is just absurd. I know for a fact that's not true, because if it were then I would have no success with women. Some things always hold true, like confidence. All women are attracted to confidence. But you can be quite or stoic and still show the same level of confidence as an extroverted man. Other personalities traits, it really just depends on the woman. I know this is a strange concept to some men, but not every woman wants the same thing in a man. But in my opinion, the absolute most important personality trait to have to be attractive to women is BALLS. Women want a man with balls. You don't have to be extroverted, or cocky, or loud. You definitely don't have to be a jerk to women. You can be kind, generous, and empathetic. But *only* if you have balls. Hope this helps someone, good luck🙃
This. I'm the same and I've had very similar experiences. Define "with balls" because that's kindof a broad term. Also, I will add that your chances of attracting women exponentially increase as you're a part of a community. This is why college is usually the place men meet the most women and have the most dating success. Once you graduate however, community is tough to find and it gets harder
Great post Jay! very well written and I agree with you. No woman wants a push over they say they want nice guys but with balls should be the end of that statement. Knowing when to stand your ground and defend a ladies honor or call them out on something that is wrong I feel like they would respect you more. But what do I know my wife and I are so rocky probably headed to divorce land soon.
@@bartsullivan4866 It's sad to hear you say that. (from one who's been there) but I really think that when you get married, not just in a "relationship", you really have to want to make it work and that can mean making major modifications in YOUR outlook and, obviously, in hers. I think that going into a relationship, almost by definition, means that you can leave it. Not a good way to start, but a sure way to finish. Perhaps we're all now encouraged to expect some kind of easy partnership that will just come right by itself. I know it takes two to tango, if that's not too gauche a remark. You have to give a lot, both of you do.
That's terrible advice. If you're a loser who is unemployed fat and passes 24/7 on tiktok. "Just be yourself" is not going to change a dime. You have to aim to be the best version of yourself, not be stagnant.
@@emanuelfer456 It's not terrible advice at all. Being yourself is exactly what you're meant to be, and you're meant to get better at being yourself. It will also attract women who are into you and not your fake persona. That mask eventually slips. Attempting to be a douchebag like Andrew Tate is not only going to scare women away, they're also going to see right through your facade. You can ONLY be yourself.
Confidence, 110% responsibility for self (aka never ever blaming others for their problems even if they are justified... it's just weak and pathetic), ability to self reflect, effort for health and finally, not addicted to disgusting, mind destroying porn. that's all.
I think confidence is genuinely being sure of yourself, 100% okay in your own skin, and having a joy for life that's contagious. This is rare. I myself am struggling to find this.
Saying nearly all women wouldn't find a more a realistic version of Gigachad to be attractive is like saying nearly all men don't find the hourglass figure attractive because some dudes like fat chicks. Gigachad is meme. It has exaggerated masculine features for lols of what most women find attractive. If women say they're not attracted then it's due to the his uncanny valley dimensions or is a defense mechanism because they know he is out of their league. It also may be unrealistic to expect them to answer honestly too. Example: if you were to survey women by asking them if they attracted to the personality traits of the guy from 50 shades, I have a hunch most would say no
If a man does not have something interesting to say in a conversation and he is mean to others, could be the best-looking guy in the universe... I will not have eyes for him.
Only pick up artist I ever liked was David DeAngelo. He encouraged cocky humor and having a general playful attitude. It wasn't about mind tricks, just being fun and authentic.
It's an intertesting subject. 25 - 30 years ago I was broke, screwed-up, and my life was a complete mess. Women were throwing themselves at me and I couldn't understand why as I felt unworthy. Now I'm financially secure, emotionally healthy with a strong personal identity, and have every aspect of my life in order, it's very hard to meet someone I want to spend time with. That said, I know I don't give away as much personal information as I once did, and I'm no longer 'vulnerable' or represent a 'fixer-upper'. Or maybe because I have so many platonic female friends I don't feel any need to commit and give off an entirely different energy?
I think with your situation it depends on what age group you were at. The biggest thing I’d be interesting in is how many of these women did you actually follow through with ? Girls in their 20s will flirt all day long but if you try to ask them out will flake. So you might look back and think you missed all these opportunities but maybe it wasn’t like that .
25-30 years ago we did not have social media and a man had to go out to socialize. Your success with woman was due to woman not caring that you are a success at such a young age. Young men are not the expected to have money or their own house. Society has changed as well with dating apps.
Not exactly. The world is full of lonely people who are just being themselves and others just dont find those people attractive. There are traits that are considered attractive. Majority of women don't find nerds attractive. But vast majority of women find smart guys attractive. But nerds are smart guys - then why are they not higher on the dating poll ? Coz they have other traits that are considered unattractive. Like lack of social skills , dont know how to dress, too skinny/fat. ect.
@@lorrilewis2178 No. If that was the case everyone would be in a relationship and the hot/smart/successful men would have the same dating options as the poor, video game playing fat guys. And that's obvs not how the world works. Just think about your best looking female friend and whats the pool of guys she have the option to choose from vs your uglies female friend.
@@alexforce9 You act like no poor, fat, video gamers are not in relationships. This is not true at all. Many absolutely are. Some of the ugliest and fattest people I know are getting the most pussy. We just don't hear about it because it's not all over the internet in the same way looxmaxing and PUA content is. You have been conditioned to think only the best will find love through the content you see online, and that's not how the world works.
Over all attractiveness is somewhat of a marker but women often will be attracted to a guy that they feel other women will be attracted to i.e a man of value on the market. This is just one aspect of many though, nothing in it'self is definitive unless she just likes you for you, which does happen also.
@@Zelanias Hi. Well, as far as I know and can attest to as a man I will say that men are more visually stimulated and look for youthful physical features and beauty. After those basics I would say it largely depends on the man because carnal instinct is only a part of the overall equation in modern society. So many different personality types! Personally I will say that women who radiate feminine energy with comfort instead of being a nasty butch feminist will help women if they are looking for a confident guy who knows himself in today's world and also has the relevant masculine energy which he uses for good. Always tonnes more to say. Lol.
The sexiest man in the world is the "boy next door" look, combined with intelligence. Often love men wearing glasses. Can't stand unintelligent men. Hate the hyper masculine or fake bodybuilder look or shallow brains. Like an average amount of muscles, but not over the top. I look for signs of kindness in the facial expression. Sense of humor. Not taking himself too seriously or being overly dramatic, yet has a direction in life.
I've learned a long time ago that tapping into different emotions all at once will get a woman attracted to you in a much deeper way than just getting the right physical look. Don't forget. How you make them feel outweighs how handsome they find you. Shout out to the gods Rob Judge and Bobby Rio.
I'm not sure why men are so lost when it comes to women. Obviously, it is common for women to desire partners who possess certain qualities such as a decent height, physical attractiveness, ambition, respect, and emotional intelligence. These characteristics can provide a sense of security, comfort, and fulfillment in a relationship and that's what is important to women at the end of the day.
It's because it's extremely commonplace for what women say they want to not match up with the actions we (men) see women making. Maybe most are not explaining themselves well, maybe they don't know themselves well. Idk.
@@zennloo7343 As we're all aware, it's a frequently observed phenomenon that young men in their 20s and 30s often face roadblocks in their quest for romance. However, it seems many of these gentlemen haven't quite grasped the notion that taking personal responsibility and engaging in self-reflection are essential aspects of personal growth and development. Regrettably, some fall into the trap of blaming external factors such as women or society for their perceived shortcomings, and end up stuck in a rut of victim mentality. But let's be real, playing the blame game is hardly a productive or sustainable strategy for achieving one's goals.
The advice Chris gives about leaning in to what you ARE is, at 54, where I finally settled into. Seems obvious, but I think I was conditioned to be something I wasn’t because I was so motivated to be in relationships. And, I was insecure with myself and never learned to be alone. Finally, I collapsed under the weight of being a fraud to myself. It’s been liberating being myself, and a weird sense of empowerment choosing to be alone, going on 4 or 5 years now. Although it can be lonely at times. If a particular woman showed interest and initiated a conversation, I’d respond, but none seemed like it would result in the relationship I’m now looking for. Until one did. I really hated the term ‘soulmate’ until I found mine. Right now it’s very difficult because it’s a long distance relationship. The alternative is I’ll remain alone, since that hurts less than being a fraud to myself. I don’t deserve that.
Men project their own masculine ideal views onto what women find attractive. You see this with gym culture a lot. And the other element is, what’s most valued is that which cannot be worked towards.
@@TuscanBrick fully agree. The nails, excessive makeup, lip fillers and butt implants are a huge turn off for me. As a brotha, the wigs is also something I DO NOT like, natural hair is mandatory. As far as your list, you nailed it. And it goes in that order too. You need to also cross the threshold for the genes/appearance for your character to be considered most of the time. That’s partly why in this world of rising physical standards, more and more men will be left alone.
@@TuscanBrick when you are younger, just having the first 2 combined with charisma is enough to do very well. You don’t necessarily need to be of high character, just high charisma. Third element becomes increasingly important with age.
@Fenwick Chick I don’t think we ever said most women look like that, same way most men don’t look like bodybuilders. The idea is that people often project what THEY would find attractive onto the opposite gender.
How you make her feel... That's literally it. That's the secret. That's all you need. Appearance is good for initial attraction. Confidence is beneficial for asking her out and keeping the chemistry flowing. But none of that matters if she doesn't like who you are.
I wonder if the research on the women who didn't think the giga-chad facial features were attractive, were checked whether they were on the pill. Women who don't ovulate are apparently attracted to more effeminate men, whereas women who do are more attracted to the faces with the classic masculine features.
As an ovulating woman I will give you my n=1 opinion that giga chad is not attractive at all. The only redeeming factor in his face are the teeth+lips and even those don't look so great because of that oversized chin and oddly straight jawline.
As a woman I promise you that not a single straight woman walking this earth is attracted to effeminate men. Not one. A woman might say he’s “cute”, but she’s saying that in the same way she’d mean that a puppy is cute or a baby is cute.
its physicality and emotional strength. i am very androgynous but im tall athletic, deep voice, strong chin etc. so im still beating gigachad if they don't have any emotional depth
You do also know/follow Jordan Peterson, I pressume. If not, look him up. His videos from when he was a teacher are gold - free education, "just" without the papers.
@@lukaghostx8218 i second the Jordan Peterson recommendation. I have been watching and reading his stuff for the last 6 years. he will go down as one of the greatest thinkers of our time.
@@burtReynolds3 thank you man,i am really having hard time right now choosing my future and podcasts and other peoples experiences really help me,my parents want other and i want other this just svcks
The “controversial” look is the same thing that Chrysler market research discovered about car styling/design the mid-90’s. Cars with an average rating of 7, but almost no 9 or 10 ratings, and few 1 or 2 ratings, would be much less desired than cars with a 7 average, but 20% or more rating them 9 or 10, and 10-20% rating them less than 3.
As a woman, I want a man I'm sexually attracted to first...then he also needs to be kind and treat me well. Doesn't help if a man is kind and treats you well if there's no physical attraction to begin with.
@@z-rex6068 attraction can be subjective...but I'd say the men I was attracted to had handsome facial features. Current partner has very strong browbone, chin, a full beard. he has nicer lips and eyebrows than me! he kinda looks like a caveman. i guess my type is caveman style. he's not very muscular or big, but has a nice v shaped back. even with no big chest muscles and a little belly, he still looks athletic enough, not muscular. oh, and he is very hairy. weird, but i love all the fuzzy body hair. caveman style. lastly, he smells good to me. i guess that's the chemistry and hormones you can't control much.
What men need to understand is that women are fundamentally afraid of them. Like all members of the animal kingdom are fundamentally afraid of other animals that are much bigger, stronger, faster, louder, and tougher. We're all fundamentally animals and men understand perfectly well how they feel around much bigger, stronger men. But for some reason that all goes out the window when it comes to understanding that women are afraid of men. Not just because men tend to be much less emotionally sensitive and hurt our feelings pretty regularly, but also they can and often do physically dominate us. Women like men that are masculine enough to protect them, but not so masculine as to be scary. Women associate overly masculine men with too high levels of testosterone, and that's scary. I imagine the preference differences arise from the environment that a women is raised in, dangerous environments where women feel more threatened would cause them to be attracted to more masculine looking men whom they believe will be better able to protect them. So my theory is women from more economically depressed areas of high crime like more masculine looking men. I'd bet money on it. It's also why women like bad boys. They think bad boys are better able to protect them, they just don't suppose that they might need protection FROM the bad boy. It's usually a rookie mistake for women, made when they are young. Which is why bad boy appeal is an immature thing that usually wears off for most women.
A spot on assumption. Unexpectedly being face to face with a very muscular tall gym bodybuilder would instinctively make me afraid, even a Jason Mamoa type etc. Im also a person who can't help but smile at someone who smiles at me, even if I have no idea what they are smiling about or even at the person behind me!
@non1593 Exactly, I was thinking of a metaphor that might help men better understand how women feel and I came up with this story. Imagine you, as a guy, just bought a brand new sports car, something you'd saved your whole life for and you take it out for a test drive. A warning light comes on indicating that there's a problem with one of the tires, so you pull over to check it out. As you're standing by your car, a guy pulls up and gets out and he is much bigger, taller, and stronger. He never takes his eyes off the car. As he is staring he says, 'nice car', but not exactly to you, sort of to the air. He doesn't appear to be aware of you as a person standing there. Would you, as a guy, A. toss the guy the keys and say, 'hey, why don't you take her out for a spin.' B. Offer him a ride. or C. Get the hell out of there as quickly as possible fearing for your life, wondering whether he's gonna steal your car. So in conclusion, women don't like strange men admiring their 'cars'. If you talk to them, talk to them as people and leave her 'car' completely out of the conversation. And if she gets to know you and trust you, she might just take you for a ride, or toss you the keys to her 'car'. I hope this helps men understand that women are afraid of them and they don't like being looked at or spoken to as if they we 'things' that arouse lust, unless they know and trust the guy. Then the feeling might be mutual. But until a women feels safe, she's not gonna feel anything related to lust - she's afraid.
Everything you said is right on. Most women will not like giga-Chad and the only women I've ever seen go for bodybuilders types, are women who grew up in poverty or low income or in dangerous places.
There is a difference between “Attraction” and “Seduction”. Seducing a woman is one thing, keeping them attracted to you long term is different altogether. So when women talk about what they ‘find attractive’ in a man, that is different from what they ‘find seductive’ in a man
I agree that refining your niche appeal is beneficial. Similarly you should pursue a relationship with a woman that already finds you attractive, as discussed. If you do these two things you aren’t going to struggle.
This is one reason why famous people can get women. Obviously not only so u have money and fame but also ur face and personality is exposed to a significantly large number of women. It is a numbers game after all
I don't give a rats backside what wmn in 2023 find 'attractive', i invest in myself and work on my purpose. I have ONE life and i'll live it the way i feel like it, not focus on society, women, religion, whatever the latest fad is. All of society can take a hike.
@Fenwick Chick As long as you're not hurting anyone, be authentically YOU. And, yes I've noticed, but a simple 'I'm flattered but I'm not looking' usually deals with that. I will never give up this freedom :)
*There are two different variations of attractiveness.* 1. *_Attractiveness as a subjective, rarely objective tool to rate someone's appearance._* 2. *_The individual attractiveness to a person (Which is exclusively subjective)_* *The first version of attractiveness can be influenced and changed by yourself, even though you cannot change other people's preferences.* *The second version cannot be influenced, is set in stone, and is the key to a relationship.* *_So improving your attractiveness can be beneficial for your confidence but that is not a requirement to find love or form a relationship._* _Thanks for sharing the Wisdom, as always_
0:40 I am interested in that survey about a chad. What the question was specifically. Because i am sure if you`d ask men, is that guy attractive to Women. It would be different from "is that guy attractive?"
Did you account for birth control? Women on birth control value lower testosterone men. Basically more effeminate men. Jordan Peterson mentioned it years ago
But the range probably wasn't that wide. Hardly any women are attracted to giga-Chad no matter where they are in their cycle. Giga-Chad is literally horrifying.
@@lorrilewis2178 Yup. My only advice would be - try to stay away from online dating, and definitely away feom clubbing women, also expand your social circle.
Guys pickup the idea of being a bit of a dick to women however I think that as long as the woman is not broken or toxic, they like men who are kind, interesting, and wholesome. However being kind does not mean being a doormat with no boundaries, it just means treating people right like a gentleman until the situation calls for you to not be a gentleman.
in my opinion, you face Chris, could prove to be a great tool for researching the topic. You could try a survey showing your photo with longer curly hair next to a photo of you with your shortest cut hair. I believe you have some facial traits that are very masculine, your defined jaw line, dry lean cheeks, not a small nose, the eyebrows, but at the same time the eyes are not so symmetric and small (like the gigachad type). the long hair would "round up" a little those masculine features and I would bet that most women would prefer those photos
9.5 out of 10 men know extreme masculinity isn't attractive to women, no women want "a real man" until they hit 40s, in their 20s, they overwhelmingly want the cute boyish ones. Men want to look hypermasculine for themselves, to achieve this image for themselves, or to seek validation from other men. I got this 22 year old kid at my workplace, he looks like 18, good looking, 6'2, has shy smile, quiet, got attention from girls every time we go to a bar or even just a cafe. He's started to hit gym, and became interested in bodybuilding, I told him girls weren't into bodybuilders, he said yeah I know, it's a man thing. I know what he's doing, he wants to become more confident.
What id like to know , is what do the woman who found him attractive looked like vs the ones who didn’t. I think that’s a better option indicator. If 10 girls who are hot liked you vs 50 girls who aren’t hot dislike you kind of thing.
Very interesting discussion. As a woman, my idea of a handsome man is someone who has a friendly, expressive face with a the sense of humour. Of course one is aware of symmetry, good teeth, good skin and beard growth,, but intelligence and a sense of humour are most important. Without that, it would be difficult to become interested in a man..
*It's interesting how emotional intelligence and humor often outweigh physical appearance. More guys need to hear this to stop focusing only on the superficial.*
I also heard him mention that he went to a voice coach or this people that help you speak with confidence etc. It really helps to record yourself having a conversation to become aware of your habits and gradually change them. To delete the "hum, like, kind of" when they're not necessary
Aren't modern adult females 2000-- 2020's a whole different breed? Under the strong influence of plastic, birth control, smart phones, post modern cultural ideologies, "dating apps", normalized porn, social media, Kardashian Kulture, single parent/divorced "is the normal" homes, daycare & peer raised in same- age school groups, & slow emotional dev't. ... Makes the natural work of a relationship 10X harder.
@@vklnew9824 Great descriptor... Only, children don't raise themselves. One way or another, their parents fell short. Let's hope there's an awakening and a rebellion to return to responsible & strong quality parenting. 🤞🤞
I did some research myself on this (not as a scientist, but amateur psychologist). In general, people tend to be attracted to the most average face (as your guest said). But then there's a lot of outliers- there's people that are attracted to smarts (sapio-sexual). And as he pointed out- and I read this on an article about women, not men- that some women felt that they had a funny nose or something - the article was saying do not try to hide it because there's guy that are specifically attracted to that, and you will miss on them. Another thing I found as a pattern is that a lot of women are attracted to guys that have a "nice ass" (muscly curvy ass). Now, I am gay myself, I think there's probably an overlap between heterosexual women and gay men. Here's something I found about myself - I think you are very handsome Chris (and so is your guest). But if you had shaved all of your face, like "clean" I could recognize you are attractive but you look "too Ken doll pretty" to me and on my 1-10 scale you just dropped at least 3 points. I have seen guys that look like pretty doll twins that as you add a good strong facial hair (note: NOT "Gandalf beards" then they jump my scale up quite a bit! Your guest could trim that "mini Gandalf beard goatee" to look much better (to me, I am sure some others find that hot) Anyway, there's something to be said about the outlier looking people. As he said if you are going for that look, indulge in it- you will most likely catch someone's attention, though it won't be the most frequent. Basically be yourself- that level of confidence comes across and it will make for "I have no idea why but I find this guy hot" quality. I have seen guys that look like near perfect 10's and open their mouth and it goes to like -1.
It’s true, many women have very particular preferences for men. Meaning, a guy could be a 6 to most women girl but be an 8 a few. And that makes a huge difference. Depressed and Nihilistic men (black pill) will tend to ignore this as it suggests that they could appeal to specific women if they tried to find them.
Interesting theory. I got depressed and black pilled while I was doing what youre suggesting for a decade straight with no results. Got much happier when I gave that up.
@@xraceboyex Everybody is different. My experience is that some women go wild for me and others could care less. I obviously focus my attention on the ones that do show interest.
Well here's the thing. I forgot which podcast this was from. But isn't it that the men who get laid the most aren't the ones who are the most attractive to women, but those deemed most scary by men.
thats interesting, could be some truth to that. the hard nuts get the women. i worked in a prison and there were hard men all around. they were convicted dealers and just general waste men. when you had visit days off so the inmates could see their partners and family, the girlfriends they had were STUNNING. id have no chance. i thought to myself, what the fuck is happening here ?
I have my own theory, the most attractive men to women are the guys who are slightly androgynous. They have both masculine and feminine balance (indicating healthy hormones and genres). Also have very dimorphic bodies (broad shoulders, strong arms, height, and slim waist). Think Francisco lachowski or Alain delon.
I agree with this. Hyper masculinity can be very off-putting and intimidating. Unless the woman is HIGHLY insecure and needs extra security, it's unlikely she would want Giga-Chad. Many girls do like the 'pretty boys', as long as they don't have the effeminate energy to match. Hell, look at the Kpop scene. All those girls are rabid for those boy bands. Attraction is only one small part of relationships and love anyway. It only matters for initial interest. The rest is carried by personality and how you make her feel.
"Lean in being Mr. Guitar Player..." Thats it! As a young man (16 to 26) you want to be someone with a style. Guitar player, metal guy, surfer boy, DJ, skater etc. For all these guys there is women who're into them. Most dont like it, but some absolutely love it. When you get older you want to turn this down, become more mainstream and make good money. Being a 35 year old metal guy with long hair and band shirts is not very cool. It makes you look like you didnt develope. But at 18 it is.
I have a golden face ratio of about 92%. I work out for like 6 months and look kind of athletic. Everyone finds me funny and kind. I have many female friends. But almost no girl has a sexual interest in me. And I still try to find out why...
Alex says, for every face they researched, there were some who found it very attractive, and some who found it very unattractive. My question is, do the people finding a certain face attractive fall into groups? That is, if you group all the people who like a certain face, does that group also agree in their ratings of other faces?
Guys don't care anymore because W don't have good characters. W are not procreating. So W are not getting what M want. They're losing in the evolution game. Why listen to what a low quality woman with a high count and jumped ship in every relationship she was in wants? No no no. Doesn't make sense evolutionarily.
I'm a strong advocate of the red pull. Though, I think most men don't truly understand it. Which leads to them being resentful of women. Do yourself a favor. Stop watching the red pill stuff for a few weeks, and actually go out and ans talk to some women in person. There's good ones and there's bad ones. Just like with men.
Oh, I am not saying that many guys did not learn in authenticity through pick up. Might take away, however, was becoming the best version of myself, and becoming authentic and aligned with that person. Even neurolinguistic programming was a tool to further that cause as opposed to an authenticity.
This all hinges on if you believe the answers you receive to your survey questions are truthful. Women have high levels of compassion and will avoid saying hurtful things
The issue is women rate men more harshly than men do. So it's normal that women did rate gigachad less than the men. It would have been the same with every single guy.
Haven't watched the full episode yet, and was thinking "who is Chris asking this question to?" I did NOT expect the Devil's cousin lol. Jokes aside, you're killing it in tgat turtle neck/jacket combo Alex, looking forward to the full episode.
The VAST majority of women would pick Henry Cavill or Chris Hemsworth to sleep with (or date), instead of Jack Black or Steve Buscemi. Some women may claim otherwise, but their actions will show this to be true. From 2012 to 2017 I was subscribed to 8 dating sites. I chatted to 100+ women and went to dinner with 25+. They were 3's to 7's, 40 to 65, waitresses and janitors etc, including obese and unemployed. I'm 5'8", a 5 in looks, fit because I have a gym in my house, a good humor, average income, $1 Million Net Worth. NONE of the dinner dates turned into a relationship because every woman told me that I am not 6+ foot tall, I don't make $100k+, my car isn't expensive enough, my house isn't expensive enough. The Black Pill is RIGHT about what women find attractive.
Silly girls are attracted to jerks. But most intelligent women are attracted to nice guys. For some reason, men don't get this. The dark triad men might "mate" more, but they are not long term investments, they are in fact a nightmare to stay clear of. Nice guys are the ones we ladies love to keep. Ladies, emphasis. Personally, I like intelligent, nerdy guys, adorable and intetresting, fascinating even, especially if they have a clever sense of humor. If a guy knows how to play a musical instrument, wow, now I am impressed. His looks are not that detrimental, but of course he should be attractive, groomed, clean, have a great smile, and not be obsese. Gym rats and 6 packs are not even a consideration for me.
Problem is 90% of women these days are "silly girls" and the only time they give that up is when they get older and/or lose attraction to those types of men.
Here's the catch, "the dark triad men might mate more..." meaning, that girls are opting more for that man during the girl's "just having fun phase" bypassing the "nice guy they want to keep" for later in life. Meanwhile, the "nice guy" being bypassed, either a) forms a resentment for girls, creating a not so nice vindictive guy or unconfident awkward guy, that you won't want then: b) transforms himself into a "triad" guy as he sees those are the guys girls are going for, which also wipes out the "nice guy"; c) and a rare handful get taken by either an astute girl, but most likely by girls who see themselves with few options or/and are "settling". Hence when the decision is made to settle down the complain seems to be "where have all the good guys gone" or "they are all taken". Also a condition that creates broken marriages because a) Some women will go for that "taken" guy just the same, and guys will be tempted by "the girl they wanted back then; or b) the woman who feels like she settled will eventually leave, as she may feel that she never was truly happy.
We all know what women find attractive. Money, status, good health, good looks. Give me a break. When a women says she “likes nerds”, the man still has to have all those other things but she like when dudes enjoy some geeky shit and are more intelligent. Each women still has their interest group. Like some women like musicians but they still need the other character traits. You also have emotional intelligence which women require in proportion to their own emotional intelligence.
Hello you legends. Watch the full episode with Alex here - th-cam.com/video/i8YVxejuJk0/w-d-xo.html
What birth control pharmaceutical stats are there for this study?
@Fenwick Chick
The part about trad wifes made me laugh, thank you for that!
I think you are right, a stereotypical incel might not be open to data he does not want to hear, and that the problem runs deeper.
But also, they are a group made of individuals, and some individuals might even get something out of these datapoints. These men are hurting! We need to try to help them whichever way we can.
It can also help to say where they are right. Because: Feminism did gum up the works of society. With a lot of help from the pill and very special generational circumstances (a looot of young people without guidance because esp. Older men were so decimated through two world wars). There is no denying we have lost our way I think.
But women being cleaning and cooking sex bots is not the answer to that. And hey, I'm a traditional wife, but I would not feel good being reduced to something like that, I would run!
They did see some patterns that are objectively wrong but their interpretation of what to do with that is skewed.
What I mean is: we need to show incels some love too. Affirming the good in them, sometimes tough love. Perhaps even datapoints 😉 Then they will be much more able to love themselves one day too
Look up a video called Lookmaxxing for Your Masculinity, by Chadify. It seams to be extremely relevant to what you are discussing in this video.
Feminism is the cause of societal decay.
😂😂😂
One of the things that guys get wrong about what women find attractive is long goatee beard.
He's a Chad so it doesn't matter.
What do you mean?
@@kryptokodex what do I mean?!
I have the same goatee except it’s in my pants
@@monkeybrains5077 😂😂😂
Having a community/social circle around you is so important. It not only introduces you to other people but also gives you a true sense of worth and confidence.
If you're a below average looking guy the social circle won't matter. You'll be there but just be unwanted when it comes to sex and dating. It can be an even worse feeling than not socialising with women at all.
Self-worth is intrinsically derived...you can fake it till you make it. Can't make other people value and "like" you...
@newperson9662 You obviously don’t know what confidence does to a man’s appeal..
True self confidence comes from within, not from your social circle. Also, if you derive your self worth from your social circle, you’ve built a house of cards in regards to your self esteem.
And shows people can stand you long enough to maintain a relationship with you hehe it's silly but true, toxic people burn through relationships and can't maintain it, and insecure guys don't put themselves out there enough
Giga Chad is not a handsome archetype, he is a physical image of an exaggerated Masculine archetype.
Johny Depp or Ricky Martin types in their young age are much more appealing than Giga Chad.
These guys are pretty boys, some will say feminine but they would get way more girls than giga chad.
@@joeshugabowski1444 they were very sexy. The overly muscular, extremely masculine guy is attractive to the male gaze. For women, what we find sexy in men is the good looks but the way they look at you, the charm, the way they make you feel at ease. The female gaze sees a sexiness that isn’t about any overly muscular body. It’s more the charisma, good looks but mixed with confidence and a man who really loves women and knows what to do with them. Some very masculine men don’t have the same sex appeal and don’t seem to even like the company of women very much. These men have a much better understanding of what women actually want.
Exactly. It's just a meme
@@viviennedunbar3374the female gaze doesn't exist.
Old people thinking memes=reality is funny.
There was some study that debunked the dark triad thing by controlling for physical attractiveness. Basically you can get away with a lot by being good-looking.
Being handsome doesn't hurt, but it's about #4 on the list of things that women find attractive in men.
Look at all the shit hot women get away with by being hot
Confidence is whats attractive.
@@Locke350 it doesnt. Creepyness and confidence are two different things that arent portrayed by looks.
@@Locke350 yea but this is mostly used as an excuse by guys that dont want to put the effort in to working on their confidence. Carrying yourself confidently is a different behaviour than being creepy. Even attractive men can exhibit creepy behaviour that gets noticed as such.
The range of ideas and opinions you see in this comment section is actually kind of inspiring. Very interesting to see this discussion actually going somewhere.
Well hopefully to the truth, cause there are some really misguided people here...
@@ImAMenace i agree. Internet comment sections may seem like it contains smart people, but just because theyre articulate, doesnt mean that they are right.
FORREAL men gotta come together and do better
I'm a youth counselor and familiar with anti-male driven abuse in my culture. When he says men in some of these groups think women are attracted to anti-social behavior it clicked with what I see in my work. Young men are so accustomed to anti-male rhetoric, hostility and outright abuse (to varying degrees), that being treated this way becomes completely normal to them. In the day to day subtleties, the default is to be deprived of empathy, not have opportunities to share what they experience without being mocked or people getting angry, especially if they have any suffering, barriers or struggle. Their moms, female teachers and girls in school will immediately make it a competition of victimhood.
This can get mixed into other social situations, and young men get contradictory messages. A girl might actually like them, but at the same time rejects his care and kindness. If it is normal to be treated with hostility (anti-social responses), then young men treat this as the default in general without any comparison otherwise. Additionally, if the girl they like or female friends actually treat kindness as a sign of ulterior motives, or hyper-sexualize the man as a predator with nefarious intentions, then it's easy for him to conclude women don't like kind, caring, vulnerable behavior.
I lead with sex only
best way I've ever heard that out friend.. or basically, it's hot if chad does it, not hot when a sub 5 male does it.. simple as that.. and I've been on the chad side of life, more than the invisible side.. being 40 and all, I'm older..
@@Skelstoolbox really that's sad
As a girl, I'm so happy someone is not scared of admitting that many women today, like their mothers and teachers, will use victim cards and and use victimhood as competition. I have no idea how to do it how they do, and frankly its extremely intimidating and makes you feel guilty, including me.
I personally hate that comparing privileges mentality thats very common nowadays. Everyones got privileges, that's just the way the world works, it's about not taking them seriously and building your life with whatever you've got.
RIP Nora Vincent
One theory I have is that men have features that intimidate and keep other men at bay, helping establish and order among men. These features help keep a mate, but are not necessarily attractive to the other gender. Facial structure as he explained, other dudes look at that and think I cant compete with him. A woman might look at that and think "I prefer other features". It is these two that I think are often conflated.
I agree.
Well said
This may be why guys like me like the Michele Trachtenberg type and not the Hayden Panettiere type. We like girl next door type because they may be less of a catch to the chad types, at least in our lizard brains.
@@stefanmatton8778 Let's take massive trapezius muscles as an example. Intimidating to other men, but not neccessarily attractive to women. Extremely pronounced brow ridge, intimidates other men, but may look too brutish to other women. Strong Calve muscles won't intimidate other men, but are attractive to women. Many such cases!
Very good point
Giga chad as well as the chad in the virgin vs chad meme is an exaggeration of masculine traits. I am not surprised that women don't find such exaggerations attractive.
after all many men don't find women with huge Dolly Parton utters attractive nor do most men find Nicki Minaj style "Chicken Run" hips attractive.
Kind of re assuring that humans are still attracted to human shaped humans.
Exactly what I was thinking. It’s a weird thing that’s been going on for the last 30 years and progressively getting worse. The exaggeration of sexual features. Lips, hips, breast…and now men have been caught up in this trend.
@@stevenbragg85 Yeah, the number of bodybuilders that (to my straight male eyes and brain that thinks with fairly intuitive insight) have built their bodies to be as big and muscular as possible in a way that is disproportionate to unchangeable features about the human body like head size, foot size, etc. and just look grotesque is wild. It's the male version of eating disorders for sure. No one in a tribal setting is going to get that jacked. As such, it's uncanny to our evolutionary minds, just as a woman with impossibly smooth skin (makeup), impossibly red lips (makeup), impossibly large assets (implants, fillers, and endocrine disruptors in the environment) and impossibly thin frame (eating disorder made possible by a sedentary lifestyle) seems gross to men.
In my mind, the best you're going to look is from a very healthy lifestyle with maybe a few hygienic and cosmetic modifications like eyebrow threading your unibrow or braces for your teeth ruined by modern foods. Aggressively take care of your health for three years and see how you look. Hell, I bet if we took identical twins and had one live a very healthy lifestyle while the other lives the average American lifestyle, the healthy one will have better developed features, a more attractive face and bone structure, taller height, better skin, etc. despite having the exact same genetics. Screw blackpillers, there's truth to you being "capped" but a lot of their failure starts with a bad lifestyle and is multiplied from there. Especially the young ones. Your body is still growing as a teen, you can boost HGH through diet, sleep, and exercise and come out of puberty much more attractive. How many male models ate only junk food in their teens, played videogames and no exercise, and got terrible sleep? I doubt it's very many.
Eh I think Nicki pretty hot tbh
What women Say they like is different than what they Think they like. But neither of those are predictive of their actual behavior. So there's that.
A female will only gaslight a unatractive man if he ask’s questions about her mateing habits or desires.
That is tell him what he want’s to hear= that she will love him for who he is ( like his mother). And not for his sexual market value.
Females are created with less mussel/strenght, but higher social intelligence. They are created to survive and to pass on genetics. And harvest genetics that has a high odds of survival.
Finding a sexy man ( good health), a man with social connections, skills, resources, leader of men or part of the many traits they look for. It’s never a « one answer», they want it all 😂. But in the short term mateing game look’s and abillity to flirt/social skills/game= 95% of importance.
Long term mateing strategy is a different story
Correct, women usually want the complete opposite of what they say.. That's not only with looks but personality traits as well.
@@dreadedsun69 Most women want kind, compassionate and confident partners. According to your logic they now want rude, sociopathic and insecure men? Gotcha.
@@MonkeyDIvan Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying this applies to all women. I'm speaking more in general terms. There are some women that are exceptional who really do want the traits you describe, but they are a very small percentage nowadays. Women are all about feeling and emotion. As long as you can keep them entertained, they will stay around.
@@dreadedsun69 Jesus christ. Good luck finding a partner with the outlook. Can't believe people like you are actually real.
Two problems with "becoming more of what you are"
1. What is the likelihood you will find someone that is looking for that?
2. What is the likelihood that it will be someone *you'd* find attractive?
The alternative is not being yourself and who likes fake people anyway?
@@Dian_Borisov_SW Its a weird dynamic lol. Cant go the full Kardasian route
Move to a big city to find someone. You'll have much much better odds. If you already live in a big city move to another possibly bigger one. Move countries if you have to.
A single response to both questions: The probability is slim, so continue your search.
The advice you ought to consider:
Achievement with women = Authenticity level multiplied by the number of women you genuinely interact with.
In simpler terms: Step away from your comfort zone and begin engaging with more women, communicate openly, and filter through them. Yes, many won't be compatible, but that's just life.
Some men are genuine but only interact with a handful of new women annually, then wonder why they haven't been successful in the past year.
It's a slim likelihood, but you can increase your chances by being in places where likeminded people congregate. Expend your social circle(s) and work towards being highly regarded within these groups. Even then, it might take a while. Took me until the age of 29, which was painful, but it's one of the best things life has to offer and thus worth every lonely minute of waiting.
Imagine taking a survey of what women think is attractive based on a picture, and thinking that translates 1:1 to real life.
@Fenwick Chick Yup. The only difference, however, would be the distinction of result-based intent. The OK Cupid data, though things are definitely manipulated, still shows real-life intent. The judgement of the digital image of a fake person includes the foreknowledge that the person isn’t real, and no effect/result will come from the judgement.
@Fenwick Chick I don’t disagree, but even highly controlled observational studies inject bias or influence the participants in ways they can’t perceive. It’s unavoidable. The OK Cupid data is useful, since the men and women weren’t influenced one way or another, except via the constrains of the platform (e.g. photos, text, etc.), and of course the algorithms. Nevertheless, if the algorithm feeds you only X, Y, and Z types, and you reject them all, it suggests you reject X, Y, and Z types.
The primary issue with dating apps is that they give the illusion of infinite choice. So even a 10/10 by your standards yesterday, may only be a 7/10 today since, with infinite choice, there’s always a true 10/10 around the corner (that you haven’t seen, and is implied by incite choice).
And sure, things like garbage photos men take will have an impact (a limitation of the platform / medium of introduction). On the flip side, men see endless profiles with women having filtered their photos, fill makeup, etc. There’s also the fact that men don’t go around gaming picture if themselves, their friends, etc. Women, on the other hand, take endless photos of themselves, each other, etc. Thus, women not only filter themselves, coat themselves with makeup, etc., but they also have a massive volume of photos to sample from, whereas men have a couple. What you see on men’s profiles tends to be 50% of all photos of them in existence, other than a passport or drivers license photo.
@@danielplainview6527you lost me at dating app “data”. It is 100% bs to get more paid subscribers
Imagine having this guy’s beard and hairdo and thinking you know what women are attracted to
one thing he didn't mention was taste.
Different people have different tastes.
Women will lie about a man’s attractiveness if he matches or exceeds her own level of attractiveness just because she knows that she will have to constantly compete for his attention. Which is why some women find average features attractive. deep down she still finds the gigachads attractive, they just don’t want to have to compete for them. Women want men to always be in the position of competing for their attention/loyalty and never the other way around. What men they find attractive is heavily based on this metric.
the latest man i fell in love with and felt attracted to, i complimented the things i appreicated about him. His teeth, eyes, arms, shoulders etc... I did not lie or downtalk him. I wanted to lift him up and boost him. You write like you got it all figured out but i think you don't.
@@Zelanias why would you try to put on a shoe that you know doesn’t fit you?
But there are handsome and hot men, who are dating and married, at times to women who are average and who other men wouldn’t look at twice.
From my experience this is very true nowadays. I think women actually lack of confidence in Anglo countries. Speaking of the UK and US. They will sleep with the really handsome guy but they insecurities will always stop them committing to someone better looking than them. They desire them strongly. But love and desire can be 2 different things. I myself am above average good looking and I seem to find it easy to sleep with women and a lot of times on more than 1 occasion. So many also have BFs. Usually not as good looking as them, sometimes drastically not. Sometimes what a woman loves and sexually desires are 2 different things. Just most women are unaware of this, lie about it to sound nice or keep it secret. But having been to France, lived in Portugal and been to Vienna recently . Women really appreciate Male beauty and handsomeness. I found them less nervous, far more confident and more affectionate. The Anglo world is infected by hateful feminism I feel that creates a power dynamic.
@FenwickChick clearly he is not
The 'love/hate' is a real thing. They have done testing/studies with newscasters or media personalities and this is verifiable. People will of course watch who the love, but they will also watch people they hate / can't stand.
I think the idea is to have an aesthetic instead of trying to be an all rounder and simultaneously accomplish nothing.
What woman say they like, and what they actually like are completely different things. They can talk as much as they want about wanting a good family man, but if you observe the real life, majority of them are dating the completely opposite kind of men.
Hmmm... You raise an interesting point. Now I have two questions. In the dating pool I wonder what percentage of the available men are actually family men? Also would most women be able to recognize the traits of a family man when they see him?
@FenwickChick If she doesn't put out by the third date, there will be no fourth date. Some women just like to eat out for free.
@Fenwick Chick I see you around here, and while you're always civil and articulate, we don't always agree. Gotta say you're 1000% spot on with this tho.
Sex is watered down to an unbelievable degree these days. Sex should be shared with people who are incredibly serious about each other. You can't simply decouple the process of procreating and the pair bonding hormones/processes associated with it. The sexual revolution is a failure
@FenwickChick Me. I paid out a lot of money to women who weren't going to put out. After a while, you just realize you're being an idiot and they're deliberately exploiting you.
You're getting different replies because you're talking to different men. When everyone is replying the same, those are NPCs.
@FenwickChick Jesus, how much time a day do you spend commenting on TH-cam? Maybe try a new hobby? Plant an herb garden? Take up model railroading?
What women are attracted to depends on where they are in their cycle. The optimal guy is the one who balances both the masculine and feminine where she always finds delight in the fact that a singular individual can embody her entire universe.
You men complicate things too much it has nothing to do with that it has to do with empathy & kindness. Most guys are just assholes cause they seem to be conditioned to this or they just see women as things and treat relationships as a transaction. It's not hard but none of you men seem to get that!
@@restrelax4536 Looks (including height) are way more important than empathy and kindness. A short and ugly guy who is kind and empathic will never get a girl that can also have a handsome tall guy. That's a universal fact even though women deny it because they either lie or are self-delusional.
Height is overrated. It does boost attractiveness however. Handsome men irl are super rare. Most men irl are normies
@@Looksmaxxedat41 Cope, height is number2 priority after face atractivnes.
And you know because,you are a woman?
I’m not a gold digger. My boyfriend makes $19/hr when I’m getting paid way more. But what I find sexy is his work ethic. Because it shows me he’s a dedicated person who devotes himself to his family.
Basically, you like his potential upward mobility. He is also less likely to cheat and give his potential higher resources to someone else.
@@RhetoricalMuse Good, let her value loyalty. Better than all the women who have their hoe phase till their late 20s and THEN look for a loyal man.
@@RhetoricalMuse 😂
@@RhetoricalMuse they don’t even realize it lmfaoooo
I agree. My dad never earned alot of money but he'd have fought a lion to keep me safe if he had too. He was the strongest man I ever knew.
When me and my partner got together he had 20k of debt, we cleared it together, as a team. Now my daughter has a fantastic father to look up to like I did. He's not a big earner, and will never be, but he's a big dad. Solid, like mine was.
As an engaged woman I very much agree with that. Back when I was dating my type was "skinny and smart" and everything else was very varied.
I am telling what you wanted.... you wanted a tall, amazing bone structure face,.good wig like hair, lean athletic muscular build
Theehee my type Thehee, a womans type is allways the square angular jaw, square chin, low squarish hairline and tall.
How skinny though? I'm built like Timothee Chalamet and I've always been somewhat self conscious of it.
Sometimes a woman can see a very handsome man and not give him any vibes because she may think he’s got too many options and she doesn’t have a shot at him even though she may find him to be her type and very attractive to her. It works both ways. Sometimes the good looking people don’t get as many approaches as some may think.
There are also women who aren't aroused just by chad being nearby. Rare - but luckily there are still good ones there
Extreme Copium
Cope
@@davidroche7685 coping with?
@@appendix-q6k we say cope as many people like yourself just won't accept the fact or find it difficult to accept that women are visually discriminatory and very much so! They are much more looks visual than men and will downplay the fact that women treat attractive men better and that's not just dating but ordinary everyday life like schools, workplaces. Outdoor Public interactions, public services, checkout stands, bank clerk hatches the list goes on!Attractive men do get far better treatment by women in fact the treatment is almost night and day different! , more choosing signals, alot more choosing signals! women usually don't approach men but sometimes they just flat out approach the attractive man directly particularly in clubs and bars which never happens to the average man and certainly not Unattractive men. The fact is women treat attractive much better and give them more choosing signals which is basically a indirect approach in its own right! Women treat them better in interactions which explains why attractive men do far better with the women. For Unattractive men it's the complete opposite of this, dirty looks of disgust when you get in their visual field , cold or disinterested interactions, condescending rude or been ignored In interactions. No choosing signals whatsoever.
I'm quite, very soft spoken, and very introverted. Though, I do have the capability of being extroverted in the right circumstances. Not every woman is attracted to me, but the ones who are, they're *very* attracted to me. What Rollo would call "genuine burning desire." I've been rejected by average looking women that I asked out. I've also had women who I never would have thought I had a chance with chase after me. This idea that ALL women are into some loud mouthed "alpha male" like Andrew Tate is just absurd. I know for a fact that's not true, because if it were then I would have no success with women. Some things always hold true, like confidence. All women are attracted to confidence. But you can be quite or stoic and still show the same level of confidence as an extroverted man. Other personalities traits, it really just depends on the woman. I know this is a strange concept to some men, but not every woman wants the same thing in a man. But in my opinion, the absolute most important personality trait to have to be attractive to women is BALLS. Women want a man with balls. You don't have to be extroverted, or cocky, or loud. You definitely don't have to be a jerk to women. You can be kind, generous, and empathetic. But *only* if you have balls. Hope this helps someone, good luck🙃
This. I'm the same and I've had very similar experiences. Define "with balls" because that's kindof a broad term. Also, I will add that your chances of attracting women exponentially increase as you're a part of a community. This is why college is usually the place men meet the most women and have the most dating success. Once you graduate however, community is tough to find and it gets harder
Great post Jay! very well written and I agree with you. No woman wants a push over they say they want nice guys but with balls should be the end of that statement. Knowing when to stand your ground and defend a ladies honor or call them out on something that is wrong I feel like they would respect you more. But what do I know my wife and I are so rocky probably headed to divorce land soon.
Agree.
@@bartsullivan4866 It's sad to hear you say that. (from one who's been there) but I really think that when you get married, not just in a "relationship", you really have to want to make it work and that can mean making major modifications in YOUR outlook and, obviously, in hers. I think that going into a relationship, almost by definition, means that you can leave it. Not a good way to start, but a sure way to finish. Perhaps we're all now encouraged to expect some kind of easy partnership that will just come right by itself. I know it takes two to tango, if that's not too gauche a remark. You have to give a lot, both of you do.
Wow, I'm kind of like you.
Be yourself. If they don’t like it they can get lost. Nothing is worth a life of disingenuousness
That's terrible advice. If you're a loser who is unemployed fat and passes 24/7 on tiktok. "Just be yourself" is not going to change a dime. You have to aim to be the best version of yourself, not be stagnant.
@@emanuelfer456 why would you want to help people who dont want to help themselves? you're basically ruining the genepool with this
Agreed, good advice Emanuel! @@emanuelfer456
Just be yourself bro
@@emanuelfer456 It's not terrible advice at all. Being yourself is exactly what you're meant to be, and you're meant to get better at being yourself. It will also attract women who are into you and not your fake persona. That mask eventually slips.
Attempting to be a douchebag like Andrew Tate is not only going to scare women away, they're also going to see right through your facade.
You can ONLY be yourself.
Confidence, 110% responsibility for self (aka never ever blaming others for their problems even if they are justified... it's just weak and pathetic), ability to self reflect, effort for health and finally, not addicted to disgusting, mind destroying porn.
that's all.
Lol. What if you're not addicted and you enjoy watching porn?
I think confidence is genuinely being sure of yourself, 100% okay in your own skin, and having a joy for life that's contagious. This is rare. I myself am struggling to find this.
Nope. No porn. It's a weakness.
@@maewest68 you shouldn't be proud of enjoying that. this is a disgusting industry.
@@kateredhead7334 If you need to avoid a thing like the plaque, because you might get addicted. The weakness isn't the thing, it's you.
"Become more of what you are" great quote
not really?
Saying nearly all women wouldn't find a more a realistic version of Gigachad to be attractive is like saying nearly all men don't find the hourglass figure attractive because some dudes like fat chicks.
Gigachad is meme. It has exaggerated masculine features for lols of what most women find attractive. If women say they're not attracted then it's due to the his uncanny valley dimensions or is a defense mechanism because they know he is out of their league.
It also may be unrealistic to expect them to answer honestly too. Example: if you were to survey women by asking them if they attracted to the personality traits of the guy from 50 shades, I have a hunch most would say no
Literally the best take on Pick up on the interet, bruh hearing you say that was actually cathartic to me, God bless you sir!
If a man does not have something interesting to say in a conversation and he is mean to others, could be the best-looking guy in the universe... I will not have eyes for him.
That's common sense,
Only pick up artist I ever liked was David DeAngelo. He encouraged cocky humor and having a general playful attitude. It wasn't about mind tricks, just being fun and authentic.
It's an intertesting subject. 25 - 30 years ago I was broke, screwed-up, and my life was a complete mess. Women were throwing themselves at me and I couldn't understand why as I felt unworthy.
Now I'm financially secure, emotionally healthy with a strong personal identity, and have every aspect of my life in order, it's very hard to meet someone I want to spend time with. That said, I know I don't give away as much personal information as I once did, and I'm no longer 'vulnerable' or represent a 'fixer-upper'.
Or maybe because I have so many platonic female friends I don't feel any need to commit and give off an entirely different energy?
I think with your situation it depends on what age group you were at. The biggest thing I’d be interesting in is how many of these women did you actually follow through with ? Girls in their 20s will flirt all day long but if you try to ask them out will flake. So you might look back and think you missed all these opportunities but maybe it wasn’t like that .
You're old and bald. Reality check
25-30 years ago we did not have social media and a man had to go out to socialize. Your success with woman was due to woman not caring that you are a success at such a young age. Young men are not the expected to have money or their own house. Society has changed as well with dating apps.
Can we trust a man that doesn't put away his Christmas tree ? 🤔
Can we trust a man who is too dumb to understand this wasn’t filmed yesterday.
Interesting 🤔
Where's the body
😂😂 this is a short from a interview a few months ago, close to Christmas.
@@viviennedunbar3374 it was still after Christmas.. wasn't it?
Thank you, Chris! Your monologue in the middle was spot on.
So basically lean into being yourself and hope you meet someone who appreciates and loves who you are
That has ALWAYS been the answer.
Not exactly. The world is full of lonely people who are just being themselves and others just dont find those people attractive. There are traits that are considered attractive. Majority of women don't find nerds attractive. But vast majority of women find smart guys attractive. But nerds are smart guys - then why are they not higher on the dating poll ? Coz they have other traits that are considered unattractive. Like lack of social skills , dont know how to dress, too skinny/fat. ect.
@@lorrilewis2178 No. If that was the case everyone would be in a relationship and the hot/smart/successful men would have the same dating options as the poor, video game playing fat guys. And that's obvs not how the world works. Just think about your best looking female friend and whats the pool of guys she have the option to choose from vs your uglies female friend.
@@alexforce9 You act like no poor, fat, video gamers are not in relationships. This is not true at all. Many absolutely are. Some of the ugliest and fattest people I know are getting the most pussy. We just don't hear about it because it's not all over the internet in the same way looxmaxing and PUA content is. You have been conditioned to think only the best will find love through the content you see online, and that's not how the world works.
Over all attractiveness is somewhat of a marker but women often will be attracted to a guy that they feel other women will be attracted to i.e a man of value on the market. This is just one aspect of many though, nothing in it'self is definitive unless she just likes you for you, which does happen also.
what about men's attraction to women, do you have any idea of that aswell? I would love to hear :D
@@Zelanias Hi. Well, as far as I know and can attest to as a man I will say that men are more visually stimulated and look for youthful physical features and beauty. After those basics I would say it largely depends on the man because carnal instinct is only a part of the overall equation in modern society. So many different personality types! Personally I will say that women who radiate feminine energy with comfort instead of being a nasty butch feminist will help women if they are looking for a confident guy who knows himself in today's world and also has the relevant masculine energy which he uses for good. Always tonnes more to say. Lol.
The sexiest man in the world is the "boy next door" look, combined with intelligence. Often love men wearing glasses. Can't stand unintelligent men. Hate the hyper masculine or fake bodybuilder look or shallow brains. Like an average amount of muscles, but not over the top. I look for signs of kindness in the facial expression. Sense of humor. Not taking himself too seriously or being overly dramatic, yet has a direction in life.
Only mediocre women will say that.
@@jimj2683 I don't know what your emotional issues are, but hope you get help.
@@jimj2683
Only an incel would make such a comment .
Hey, that's me but I'm still chronically single. I do get a lot of looks, but I can't tell if that's attraction, fear, or confusion lol
@@PowerofRock24 Can't read faces?
I've learned a long time ago that tapping into different emotions all at once will get a woman attracted to you in a much deeper way than just getting the right physical look. Don't forget. How you make them feel outweighs how handsome they find you. Shout out to the gods Rob Judge and Bobby Rio.
Idk if I can take advice on attracting women from someone with such a beard or whatever that is
pubes**
I'm not sure why men are so lost when it comes to women. Obviously, it is common for women to desire partners who possess certain qualities such as a decent height, physical attractiveness, ambition, respect, and emotional intelligence. These characteristics can provide a sense of security, comfort, and fulfillment in a relationship and that's what is important to women at the end of the day.
Above average "everything" helps get above average women.
Where is it that you think men are lost when it comes to women? Plenty of men understand what you just said... How do you think they're lost?
It's because it's extremely commonplace for what women say they want to not match up with the actions we (men) see women making. Maybe most are not explaining themselves well, maybe they don't know themselves well. Idk.
@@cain6981 Self reporting is "worthless". Look it up - those who don't know already.
@@zennloo7343 As we're all aware, it's a frequently observed phenomenon that young men in their 20s and 30s often face roadblocks in their quest for romance. However, it seems many of these gentlemen haven't quite grasped the notion that taking personal responsibility and engaging in self-reflection are essential aspects of personal growth and development. Regrettably, some fall into the trap of blaming external factors such as women or society for their perceived shortcomings, and end up stuck in a rut of victim mentality. But let's be real, playing the blame game is hardly a productive or sustainable strategy for achieving one's goals.
What percentage of those women were on birth control?
Omfg I was just about to say that! That’s an extremely relevant question.
This is a great question. Every study on attraction should control for HBC. Will ask Alex if he accounted for it
The number i can find is 12.6% of women use the pill, this is in america
@@sithraeil I think their preference changed when they found they were pregnant.
@@sithraeilyes, and said change did not occur with those on hormonal birth control.
The advice Chris gives about leaning in to what you ARE is, at 54, where I finally settled into. Seems obvious, but I think I was conditioned to be something I wasn’t because I was so motivated to be in relationships. And, I was insecure with myself and never learned to be alone. Finally, I collapsed under the weight of being a fraud to myself. It’s been liberating being myself, and a weird sense of empowerment choosing to be alone, going on 4 or 5 years now. Although it can be lonely at times. If a particular woman showed interest and initiated a conversation, I’d respond, but none seemed like it would result in the relationship I’m now looking for.
Until one did. I really hated the term ‘soulmate’ until I found mine. Right now it’s very difficult because it’s a long distance relationship. The alternative is I’ll remain alone, since that hurts less than being a fraud to myself. I don’t deserve that.
Men project their own masculine ideal views onto what women find attractive. You see this with gym culture a lot.
And the other element is, what’s most valued is that which cannot be worked towards.
@@TuscanBrick fully agree. The nails, excessive makeup, lip fillers and butt implants are a huge turn off for me. As a brotha, the wigs is also something I DO NOT like, natural hair is mandatory.
As far as your list, you nailed it. And it goes in that order too. You need to also cross the threshold for the genes/appearance for your character to be considered most of the time. That’s partly why in this world of rising physical standards, more and more men will be left alone.
@@TuscanBrick when you are younger, just having the first 2 combined with charisma is enough to do very well. You don’t necessarily need to be of high character, just high charisma.
Third element becomes increasingly important with age.
@@TuscanBrick Let’s not forget fake eye lashes, hair extensions, and horribly overdone eyebrows.
@Fenwick Chick It’s a location/community thing. In my community + age group, the overdone look is extremely common. Not an IG thing.
@Fenwick Chick I don’t think we ever said most women look like that, same way most men don’t look like bodybuilders.
The idea is that people often project what THEY would find attractive onto the opposite gender.
How you make her feel...
That's literally it. That's the secret. That's all you need.
Appearance is good for initial attraction.
Confidence is beneficial for asking her out and keeping the chemistry flowing.
But none of that matters if she doesn't like who you are.
I wonder if the research on the women who didn't think the giga-chad facial features were attractive, were checked whether they were on the pill. Women who don't ovulate are apparently attracted to more effeminate men, whereas women who do are more attracted to the faces with the classic masculine features.
As an ovulating woman I will give you my n=1 opinion that giga chad is not attractive at all. The only redeeming factor in his face are the teeth+lips and even those don't look so great because of that oversized chin and oddly straight jawline.
As a woman I promise you that not a single straight woman walking this earth is attracted to effeminate men. Not one. A woman might say he’s “cute”, but she’s saying that in the same way she’d mean that a puppy is cute or a baby is cute.
The giga-Chat guy is just awful to me. I don't know many women who are attracted to that look.
its physicality and emotional strength. i am very androgynous but im tall athletic, deep voice, strong chin etc. so im still beating gigachad if they don't have any emotional depth
Mr.Chris you are doing amazing job,i am 17 year old and i am getting very usefull stuff from your chanel.
You do also know/follow Jordan Peterson, I pressume. If not, look him up. His videos from when he was a teacher are gold - free education, "just" without the papers.
Good
@@CONEHEADDK thank you brother
@@lukaghostx8218 i second the Jordan Peterson recommendation. I have been watching and reading his stuff for the last 6 years. he will go down as one of the greatest thinkers of our time.
@@burtReynolds3 thank you man,i am really having hard time right now choosing my future and podcasts and other peoples experiences really help me,my parents want other and i want other this just svcks
The “controversial” look is the same thing that Chrysler market research discovered about car styling/design the mid-90’s. Cars with an average rating of 7, but almost no 9 or 10 ratings, and few 1 or 2 ratings, would be much less desired than cars with a 7 average, but 20% or more rating them 9 or 10, and 10-20% rating them less than 3.
thank you for sharing this!
As a woman, I want a man I'm sexually attracted to first...then he also needs to be kind and treat me well. Doesn't help if a man is kind and treats you well if there's no physical attraction to begin with.
"Doesn't help if a man is kind and treats you well if there's no physical attraction to begin with."
As one of those men, I can confirm.
It’s all good and well saying that but that’s not really helpful just vaguely saying “somebody that you’re sexually attracted to”.
@@z-rex6068 attraction can be subjective...but I'd say the men I was attracted to had handsome facial features. Current partner has very strong browbone, chin, a full beard. he has nicer lips and eyebrows than me! he kinda looks like a caveman. i guess my type is caveman style. he's not very muscular or big, but has a nice v shaped back. even with no big chest muscles and a little belly, he still looks athletic enough, not muscular. oh, and he is very hairy. weird, but i love all the fuzzy body hair. caveman style. lastly, he smells good to me. i guess that's the chemistry and hormones you can't control much.
@@z-rex6068 Translation - just be a chad bro
That just goes for the majority of people in general.
What men need to understand is that women are fundamentally afraid of them. Like all members of the animal kingdom are fundamentally afraid of other animals that are much bigger, stronger, faster, louder, and tougher. We're all fundamentally animals and men understand perfectly well how they feel around much bigger, stronger men. But for some reason that all goes out the window when it comes to understanding that women are afraid of men. Not just because men tend to be much less emotionally sensitive and hurt our feelings pretty regularly, but also they can and often do physically dominate us. Women like men that are masculine enough to protect them, but not so masculine as to be scary. Women associate overly masculine men with too high levels of testosterone, and that's scary. I imagine the preference differences arise from the environment that a women is raised in, dangerous environments where women feel more threatened would cause them to be attracted to more masculine looking men whom they believe will be better able to protect them. So my theory is women from more economically depressed areas of high crime like more masculine looking men. I'd bet money on it. It's also why women like bad boys. They think bad boys are better able to protect them, they just don't suppose that they might need protection FROM the bad boy. It's usually a rookie mistake for women, made when they are young. Which is why bad boy appeal is an immature thing that usually wears off for most women.
A spot on assumption. Unexpectedly being face to face with a very muscular tall gym bodybuilder would instinctively make me afraid, even a Jason Mamoa type etc. Im also a person who can't help but smile at someone who smiles at me, even if I have no idea what they are smiling about or even at the person behind me!
@non1593 Exactly, I was thinking of a metaphor that might help men better understand how women feel and I came up with this story. Imagine you, as a guy, just bought a brand new sports car, something you'd saved your whole life for and you take it out for a test drive. A warning light comes on indicating that there's a problem with one of the tires, so you pull over to check it out. As you're standing by your car, a guy pulls up and gets out and he is much bigger, taller, and stronger. He never takes his eyes off the car. As he is staring he says, 'nice car', but not exactly to you, sort of to the air. He doesn't appear to be aware of you as a person standing there. Would you, as a guy, A. toss the guy the keys and say, 'hey, why don't you take her out for a spin.' B. Offer him a ride. or C. Get the hell out of there as quickly as possible fearing for your life, wondering whether he's gonna steal your car. So in conclusion, women don't like strange men admiring their 'cars'. If you talk to them, talk to them as people and leave her 'car' completely out of the conversation. And if she gets to know you and trust you, she might just take you for a ride, or toss you the keys to her 'car'. I hope this helps men understand that women are afraid of them and they don't like being looked at or spoken to as if they we 'things' that arouse lust, unless they know and trust the guy. Then the feeling might be mutual. But until a women feels safe, she's not gonna feel anything related to lust - she's afraid.
Everything you said is right on. Most women will not like giga-Chad and the only women I've ever seen go for bodybuilders types, are women who grew up in poverty or low income or in dangerous places.
@@cynthiajohnson9412sheesh... Imagine being THIS unaware of your own darker sexuality and how it works, IMAGINE.
There is a difference between “Attraction” and “Seduction”.
Seducing a woman is one thing, keeping them attracted to you long term is different altogether.
So when women talk about what they ‘find attractive’ in a man, that is different from what they ‘find seductive’ in a man
Gigachad ain't attractive 'cause Women said so...yea,they said so. You watch what Women do,not what they say. I think We learned that by now.
Merry Christmas!
Symmetry is the most appealing as it implies health
A symmetric face also can be super boring.
I agree that refining your niche appeal is beneficial. Similarly you should pursue a relationship with a woman that already finds you attractive, as discussed. If you do these two things you aren’t going to struggle.
This is one reason why famous people can get women. Obviously not only so u have money and fame but also ur face and personality is exposed to a significantly large number of women. It is a numbers game after all
the closet and old tv in the background reminds me of my childhood. Is this guy steaming from his parents home?
I would never ask a guy with that beard this question and expect a useful answer.
NGL the goatee stopped me clicking at first.....but was actually very interesting 😅
I don't give a rats backside what wmn in 2023 find 'attractive', i invest in myself and work on my purpose. I have ONE life and i'll live it the way i feel like it, not focus on society, women, religion, whatever the latest fad is. All of society can take a hike.
@Fenwick Chick As long as you're not hurting anyone, be authentically YOU. And, yes I've noticed, but a simple 'I'm flattered but I'm not looking' usually deals with that. I will never give up this freedom :)
Brilliant Interview!!
Great podcast, I really enjoyed this!!
Thank you!!
*There are two different variations of attractiveness.*
1. *_Attractiveness as a subjective, rarely objective tool to rate someone's appearance._*
2. *_The individual attractiveness to a person (Which is exclusively subjective)_*
*The first version of attractiveness can be influenced and changed by yourself, even though you cannot change other people's preferences.*
*The second version cannot be influenced, is set in stone, and is the key to a relationship.*
*_So improving your attractiveness can be beneficial for your confidence but that is not a requirement to find love or form a relationship._*
_Thanks for sharing the Wisdom, as always_
0:40 I am interested in that survey about a chad. What the question was specifically. Because i am sure if you`d ask men, is that guy attractive to Women. It would be different from "is that guy attractive?"
Did you account for birth control?
Women on birth control value lower testosterone men. Basically more effeminate men.
Jordan Peterson mentioned it years ago
Its good for soyboyz
But the range probably wasn't that wide. Hardly any women are attracted to giga-Chad no matter where they are in their cycle. Giga-Chad is literally horrifying.
@@lorrilewis2178 Yup. My only advice would be - try to stay away from online dating, and definitely away feom clubbing women, also expand your social circle.
Giga Chad is supposed to be an exaggeration and not an ideal. Why is it that every pseudo-intellectual on the internet gets this wrong?
Love how Chris asks a question, listen to the answer then comes up with a better answer and explanation to his own question! 😂😂😂😂😂
Guys pickup the idea of being a bit of a dick to women however I think that as long as the woman is not broken or toxic, they like men who are kind, interesting, and wholesome. However being kind does not mean being a doormat with no boundaries, it just means treating people right like a gentleman until the situation calls for you to not be a gentleman.
I’d like to give a shout out to the CRT screen in the background. Although unplugged, still present. 📺
in my opinion, you face Chris, could prove to be a great tool for researching the topic.
You could try a survey showing your photo with longer curly hair next to a photo of you with your shortest cut hair. I believe you have some facial traits that are very masculine, your defined jaw line, dry lean cheeks, not a small nose, the eyebrows, but at the same time the eyes are not so symmetric and small (like the gigachad type).
the long hair would "round up" a little those masculine features and I would bet that most women would prefer those photos
Gay
Essential your saying, have character and own it.
9.5 out of 10 men know extreme masculinity isn't attractive to women, no women want "a real man" until they hit 40s, in their 20s, they overwhelmingly want the cute boyish ones. Men want to look hypermasculine for themselves, to achieve this image for themselves, or to seek validation from other men. I got this 22 year old kid at my workplace, he looks like 18, good looking, 6'2, has shy smile, quiet, got attention from girls every time we go to a bar or even just a cafe. He's started to hit gym, and became interested in bodybuilding, I told him girls weren't into bodybuilders, he said yeah I know, it's a man thing. I know what he's doing, he wants to become more confident.
Girls are def into fit men. Maybe not in your circle the lame anime chubbies circle
Yea -- maybe he needs the army and male mentorship actually. That is what we all need instead of Bodybuilding/steroid use - etc etc etc bla bla bla
What id like to know , is what do the woman who found him attractive looked like vs the ones who didn’t. I think that’s a better option indicator.
If 10 girls who are hot liked you vs 50 girls who aren’t hot dislike you kind of thing.
Gorgeous man again ❤
Very interesting discussion. As a woman, my idea of a handsome man is someone who has a friendly, expressive face with a the sense of humour. Of course one is aware of symmetry, good teeth, good skin and beard growth,, but intelligence and a sense of humour are most important. Without that, it would be difficult to become interested in a man..
I bet Chris knows more than this dude about what women find attractive
That's close mindedness
*It's interesting how emotional intelligence and humor often outweigh physical appearance. More guys need to hear this to stop focusing only on the superficial.*
The gigachad meme is too exaggerated to me to be attractive.
How on Earth did Chris get so articulate when he speaks? If anyone can provide answers, and something I can do right away, I would be very grateful!
He reads a lot. I know a lot of readers who can speak very well
@@TheVoltaire1 Okay dokey. That’s where I’ll start 👌
I also heard him mention that he went to a voice coach or this people that help you speak with confidence etc. It really helps to record yourself having a conversation to become aware of your habits and gradually change them. To delete the "hum, like, kind of" when they're not necessary
Aren't modern adult females 2000-- 2020's a whole different breed?
Under the strong influence of plastic, birth control, smart phones, post modern cultural ideologies, "dating apps", normalized porn, social media, Kardashian Kulture, single parent/divorced "is the normal" homes, daycare & peer raised in same- age school groups, & slow emotional dev't. ...
Makes the natural work of a relationship 10X harder.
They're a dysgenic breed
@@vklnew9824
Great descriptor...
Only, children don't raise themselves. One way or another, their parents fell short.
Let's hope there's an awakening and a rebellion to return to responsible & strong quality parenting. 🤞🤞
I did some research myself on this (not as a scientist, but amateur psychologist). In general, people tend to be attracted to the most average face (as your guest said). But then there's a lot of outliers- there's people that are attracted to smarts (sapio-sexual). And as he pointed out- and I read this on an article about women, not men- that some women felt that they had a funny nose or something - the article was saying do not try to hide it because there's guy that are specifically attracted to that, and you will miss on them.
Another thing I found as a pattern is that a lot of women are attracted to guys that have a "nice ass" (muscly curvy ass).
Now, I am gay myself, I think there's probably an overlap between heterosexual women and gay men.
Here's something I found about myself - I think you are very handsome Chris (and so is your guest). But if you had shaved all of your face, like "clean" I could recognize you are attractive but you look "too Ken doll pretty" to me and on my 1-10 scale you just dropped at least 3 points. I have seen guys that look like pretty doll twins that as you add a good strong facial hair (note: NOT "Gandalf beards" then they jump my scale up quite a bit!
Your guest could trim that "mini Gandalf beard goatee" to look much better (to me, I am sure some others find that hot)
Anyway, there's something to be said about the outlier looking people. As he said if you are going for that look, indulge in it- you will most likely catch someone's attention, though it won't be the most frequent. Basically be yourself- that level of confidence comes across and it will make for "I have no idea why but I find this guy hot" quality. I have seen guys that look like near perfect 10's and open their mouth and it goes to like -1.
Confidence and family values.
🤣🤣😂 yeah ok…
'Family values' . .lol
LOL'ed T0P K£K
What type of women did you poll for this study. That’s really important too. Really attractive guys don’t want the new wave crazy types.
It’s true, many women have very particular preferences for men. Meaning, a guy could be a 6 to most women girl but be an 8 a few. And that makes a huge difference. Depressed and Nihilistic men (black pill) will tend to ignore this as it suggests that they could appeal to specific women if they tried to find them.
Interesting theory. I got depressed and black pilled while I was doing what youre suggesting for a decade straight with no results. Got much happier when I gave that up.
@@xraceboyex Everybody is different. My experience is that some women go wild for me and others could care less. I obviously focus my attention on the ones that do show interest.
damn
Well here's the thing. I forgot which podcast this was from. But isn't it that the men who get laid the most aren't the ones who are the most attractive to women, but those deemed most scary by men.
thats interesting, could be some truth to that. the hard nuts get the women. i worked in a prison and there were hard men all around. they were convicted dealers and just general waste men. when you had visit days off so the inmates could see their partners and family, the girlfriends they had were STUNNING. id have no chance. i thought to myself, what the fuck is happening here ?
I have my own theory, the most attractive men to women are the guys who are slightly androgynous. They have both masculine and feminine balance (indicating healthy hormones and genres). Also have very dimorphic bodies (broad shoulders, strong arms, height, and slim waist). Think Francisco lachowski or Alain delon.
I agree with this. Hyper masculinity can be very off-putting and intimidating. Unless the woman is HIGHLY insecure and needs extra security, it's unlikely she would want Giga-Chad. Many girls do like the 'pretty boys', as long as they don't have the effeminate energy to match. Hell, look at the Kpop scene. All those girls are rabid for those boy bands.
Attraction is only one small part of relationships and love anyway. It only matters for initial interest. The rest is carried by personality and how you make her feel.
@6:25 is the great analysis and will save a lot of men a lot of time.
"Lean in being Mr. Guitar Player..."
Thats it! As a young man (16 to 26) you want to be someone with a style. Guitar player, metal guy, surfer boy, DJ, skater etc. For all these guys there is women who're into them. Most dont like it, but some absolutely love it. When you get older you want to turn this down, become more mainstream and make good money. Being a 35 year old metal guy with long hair and band shirts is not very cool. It makes you look like you didnt develope. But at 18 it is.
8:54 This! This should be the main point of the video
I have a golden face ratio of about 92%. I work out for like 6 months and look kind of athletic. Everyone finds me funny and kind. I have many female friends. But almost no girl has a sexual interest in me. And I still try to find out why...
I cant take anyone seriously when they still have their Christmas tree up in April.
😂
Alex says, for every face they researched, there were some who found it very attractive, and some who found it very unattractive. My question is, do the people finding a certain face attractive fall into groups? That is, if you group all the people who like a certain face, does that group also agree in their ratings of other faces?
As a female this man’s goatee is a turnoff
This sounds right but I dont find it's true on dating apps.
Guys don't care anymore because W don't have good characters. W are not procreating. So W are not getting what M want. They're losing in the evolution game. Why listen to what a low quality woman with a high count and jumped ship in every relationship she was in wants? No no no. Doesn't make sense evolutionarily.
you poor poor victim tho
Anyone who uses the term "low quality" to describe another human being is ... I don't even know.
Women are choosing not to procreate.
Women don't care what Men want. The men aren't what women want.
I'm a strong advocate of the red pull. Though, I think most men don't truly understand it. Which leads to them being resentful of women. Do yourself a favor. Stop watching the red pill stuff for a few weeks, and actually go out and ans talk to some women in person. There's good ones and there's bad ones. Just like with men.
Nice and sexist.
Oh, I am not saying that many guys did not learn in authenticity through pick up. Might take away, however, was becoming the best version of myself, and becoming authentic and aligned with that person. Even neurolinguistic programming was a tool to further that cause as opposed to an authenticity.
Be confident. Be authentic. And don’t be needy.
This is kinda the shortcut. I would add: dont be an open book.
This all hinges on if you believe the answers you receive to your survey questions are truthful. Women have high levels of compassion and will avoid saying hurtful things
We want what you do…honesty,integrity and not sweating the small stuff..as the basis..
You wouldn’t ask a fish on how to catch it..
Can you do the same analysis for body shapes? Do women like big muscles or do they like proportion?
@@ankra12 they don’t like normal body. They like somebody fit. 30 inch waist with muscular upper and lower body. Women notice
Muscles in proportion. Not bodybuilders.
The issue is women rate men more harshly than men do.
So it's normal that women did rate gigachad less than the men. It would have been the same with every single guy.
Haven't watched the full episode yet, and was thinking "who is Chris asking this question to?"
I did NOT expect the Devil's cousin lol. Jokes aside, you're killing it in tgat turtle neck/jacket combo Alex, looking forward to the full episode.
Full episode is already out, or there is a second one with Alex
The VAST majority of women would pick Henry Cavill or Chris Hemsworth to sleep with (or date), instead of Jack Black or Steve Buscemi. Some women may claim otherwise, but their actions will show this to be true. From 2012 to 2017 I was subscribed to 8 dating sites. I chatted to 100+ women and went to dinner with 25+. They were 3's to 7's, 40 to 65, waitresses and janitors etc, including obese and unemployed. I'm 5'8", a 5 in looks, fit because I have a gym in my house, a good humor, average income, $1 Million Net Worth. NONE of the dinner dates turned into a relationship because every woman told me that I am not 6+ foot tall, I don't make $100k+, my car isn't expensive enough, my house isn't expensive enough. The Black Pill is RIGHT about what women find attractive.
Silly girls are attracted to jerks. But most intelligent women are attracted to nice guys. For some reason, men don't get this. The dark triad men might "mate" more, but they are not long term investments, they are in fact a nightmare to stay clear of. Nice guys are the ones we ladies love to keep. Ladies, emphasis. Personally, I like intelligent, nerdy guys, adorable and intetresting, fascinating even, especially if they have a clever sense of humor. If a guy knows how to play a musical instrument, wow, now I am impressed. His looks are not that detrimental, but of course he should be attractive, groomed, clean, have a great smile, and not be obsese. Gym rats and 6 packs are not even a consideration for me.
Problem is 90% of women these days are "silly girls" and the only time they give that up is when they get older and/or lose attraction to those types of men.
Here's the catch, "the dark triad men might mate more..." meaning, that girls are opting more for that man during the girl's "just having fun phase" bypassing the "nice guy they want to keep" for later in life.
Meanwhile, the "nice guy" being bypassed, either a) forms a resentment for girls, creating a not so nice vindictive guy or unconfident awkward guy, that you won't want then: b) transforms himself into a "triad" guy as he sees those are the guys girls are going for, which also wipes out the "nice guy"; c) and a rare handful get taken by either an astute girl, but most likely by girls who see themselves with few options or/and are "settling". Hence when the decision is made to settle down the complain seems to be "where have all the good guys gone" or "they are all taken". Also a condition that creates broken marriages because a) Some women will go for that "taken" guy just the same, and guys will be tempted by "the girl they wanted back then; or b) the woman who feels like she settled will eventually leave, as she may feel that she never was truly happy.
We all know what women find attractive. Money, status, good health, good looks. Give me a break.
When a women says she “likes nerds”, the man still has to have all those other things but she like when dudes enjoy some geeky shit and are more intelligent.
Each women still has their interest group. Like some women like musicians but they still need the other character traits.
You also have emotional intelligence which women require in proportion to their own emotional intelligence.