Hello you beauties. Enjoy this one! Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 01:31 How to Approach Women Without Feeling Creepy 16:19 What is Causing the Rise in Sexless Men? 22:32 The Rising Standards of Women 27:34 Does Being Single for a Long Time Impact Happiness? 31:42 What It’s Like to Be in the Top 20% of Men on Dating Apps 36:40 Are Attractive Women Having More or Less Sex? 46:44 What Guys Get Wrong About What Women Find Attractive 58:12 The Origins of Inceldom 1:08:09 Do Men Really Want to Cheat? 1:16:03 Decline in Sexual Desire over Length of Relationship 1:23:42 Why People Accuse Alex of Pro-Feminist Dating Views 1:29:42 Where to Find Alex
How can a man be qualified enough to talk about the reasons people aren’t having sex, yet dumb and ignorant enough not shave off the reason that he’s not having sex
Ngl my brethren. I come from a different generation where no matter what ranking of physical attractiveness (P.A.) you were, you found a person who was on the PA level as you and therefore you were at minimum having it every several months or having it with a person either on a weekly or monthly basis. 📅 It’s interesting how that still stands at my age (undisclosed Bc I still get told I don’t look anywhere close to my age), but I must say it’s definitely the new times of things, mixed with Gen Z and up. But will not hide the fact that it’s just the new ZEITGEIST of times where less men are having sex. 😢 At my age now what I do is follow the TH-cams:📌 1.) stay in shape 2.) stay lean and toned 3.) think about my wardrobe and the psychology of it 4.) understand seduction 5.) take care of my skin and teeth 6.) watch scientific TH-cams and ones like this to keep up on the latest trends… I seem to be doing okay with dating women who anywhere between 2 to 8 years YOUNGER than me. Also I you might add that I have life experience. And not just as a resume thing, more like, put me in a room alone and I can survive as if I was the US Army’s Special Forces 🇺🇸 But brothers it’s sad these days and all I want is my gentlemen, young and old to WIN WIN WIN no matter what 🏆 It’s a tough world for any man! I want to be here to support you 🤜🏾💙🤛🏻
It's crazy that 20+ years ago it was considered taboo and weird to date someone from online; fast forward to now, it's considered taboo and weird to street approach.
Tinder and online dating are still not socially accepted in Eastern Europe. Most girls avoid it as a means of finding a serious partner and prefer to be approached in real life. However, the old rule still applies - if you are attractive, approaching someone in public may be acceptable, but if not, it may be seen as creepy.
I think most people consider both taboo and weird. Most people meet in what is considered warm approach environments and in particular, closed social groups. I personally believe that the loneliness crisis we have are people who lack a closed social group to be a part of and subsequently base their assumptions entirely on online dating. Noting from a recent study, someone (retweeted by Alex) calculated the percentage of single people using online dating is only nine per cent. That's not a typo, that is nine per cent. Meaning ninety one percent did not use online dating.
@@artofmybody2882 Glad you enjoyed it. :) By the way you must be a VERY open person. Your channel is incredibly varied with all kinds of wacky stuff. Pretty cool, best of luck.
This blew my mind. Before this, I thought of you as a “bro.” I thought you were like a 27 year old grad student(I know u from Twitter). Now I see you as a sir, at least I think so. Looking good for your age man, whatever it is.
Have you ever seen a study on risk aversion increasing with status? Asking because what I think gets missed when talking about the "Tall girl problem" is that the Risk for men of being reported for normal pro social behavior may appear greater when you have higher status. I have a great physique and a doctorate with a great career, yet approaching women has become legitimately terrifying to me. I just have too much to lose by being reported for harassment or any advance outside of an app. Seeing women complain about a lack of men that fit my exact description (minuses 5'7" height lol) is infuriating
I’m an introverted and shy person. I met my husband at church but we began dating bec he would organize co-ed softball games on Sunday afternoons He would invite all his friends on Social Media After a couple Sundays being on the same team we began liking each other. 7yrs later we’re married taking our son to softball games
Being confident helps, but many guys have been rejected so many times, they can't even half fake confidence. It's like a miserable person trying to smile. The most they can do is distort their face.
it's always been like that. People have to be brave. That's the problem. Every age has many meds too afraid to make the move. Even in the 80s and nineties people thought it was weird to walk up to people you don't know and try to date them. IS it creepy? Maybe humans are creepy. I used to find girlfriends in line ups and buses. I never saw other people talking up girls;s unless they were somehow introduced. Why wait for that if you have free will though? Dating apps are like asking the devil to help you with dating. Why ask a machine? Sometimes attraction is something that can't be communicated through technology. We're losing our humanity.
There also better *because* they’re long. You can only get into good details and good info with a longer time spent. Whether that’s researching something, listening to this, reading, etc That’s not a bug, that’s a feature. That isn’t a negative and the fact that people’s attention spans are apparently so dismal that they can’t listen to something that’s long form is the problem.
Dating got way harder compared to 10 or 15 years ago. One of the main reasons that almost no one seems to talk about is the way men are represented in the media nowadays. In movies, shows, television and also in songs men in general are depicted as disgusting, unfaithful, stupid and weak. That definitely has an effect on the dating market. Women got super picky and cautious. I remember seeing a lot of close dancing and kissing couples in clubs and bars 5 to 10 years ago (pre metoo and covid era), but that has become very rare nowadays.
I'm 50 and I completely agree that dating is way harder and weirder nowadays than it was before. And while you're right that men are portrayed in a far worse light than before, women are also portrayed unflattering as well. Basically the two genders are more at "war" with each other than ever before. It makes dating a lot trickier, antagonistic and a lot more unpleasant than before.
and the hateful online comments, the pervy dms ... the unsolicited d pics.. the abuse we get when we say no to someone. when we see how men really are we just stay away from them. isnt that only natural ? why would we engage with most guys since they are so full of hate and unaccomplished sexual desires. a certain type of guy is going to be chronically unhappy no matter what because they didnt find their place in the world.
I haven't bothered trying to date for years now. It just feels like an unnecessary chore. People are so unreliable and the uncertainty and trauma from trying to connect with unreliable people makes the risk not worth it. Especially for those of us who tend to over-invest in everything. I suspect many people including myself get enough interpersonal connection via work, friends and the internet to satisfy that general need.
@@croissants1280 no. I'm not the horniest person around so that probably also helps. I'm a female btw, for context. I know I'm not the target demo for this video but it resonates with me
This. MANY "people" (ie whamin) are perfidious, selfish, lost f00ls. They are self-destructive and aimless. You cause your own suffering when you deal with those types---and they are LEGION.
This is the main reason for Marriage decline. We saw what are wicked cold hearted mothers did to our fathers in court. And now we are that age we would rather jump off a cliff than get married. End no fault divorce, automatic paternity testing upon birth, fix the family courts to not immediately rule in favor of the woman, and how about tax credits for being married, buying land or homes.
@@JRock3091 Well said. Having seen my mother drag my father through the divorce courts followed by both my sisters doing the same thing multiple times to ex-husbands, why the hell would I willingly expose myself to the same treatment. It's been said before; the problem isn't that a woman WILL do this, the problem is that they CAN!
@JRock3091 I love both my parents but my mom did the same to my father , long after were over the age of 18 , my mother went after my dad for child support in court , and almost nailed him to the coffin , I held a lot of resentment for my mom for a long time for that, especially since it was years after me and my brother , were adults and no longer living with her , she never had a thought about it until someone brought it up to her . Marriage for men is such a massive gamble I'm not willing to take that chance to have some woman nail my ass to the wall if im not good enough for her.
There is no way I will ever be convinced that online dating is nothing more than desperate people flipping thru a catalogue of product. That is not human. It's a livestock auction.
@@genmaicha.lapsang All kinds of things happened in history. We've moved on for better and for worse. Today, right now and this very minute I declare livestock. I hope this also goes down in history.
To be honest, I only use tinder and similar products when on business trips/visiting parents or friends. No way I will spend half my time in some bar with awful music. It pans out like 1 time out of 3, but I don't sweat it - it's an unnecessary treat, a bonus to an already quite balanced and cheerful life. As to the people who actually see these apps as a lifeline to deep long-lasting relationships - can't feel nothing but sorrow for them, it's not the way to live, especially given how aware the app creators are about their target audience's desperation.
@@sergeymyasnikov736 I hope your explanation makes perfect sense to you. I don't feel good about using other humans as a treat even if they're willing to be used as such. We all have different standards and ways of thinking about the more intimate aspects of life. I guess that's to be expected from the human race. One of my biggest fears is to get hooked up with somebody who feels the need to hide their past, such as somebody who might have used other humans as a treat. I think most people who use dating apps would fall into that category.
hoesntly as a young 30 year old, keeping to myself has been more rewarding in modern society than bothering with the instability of a relationship. sure it can get a bit hollow at times, but i put this down to a spiritual problem more than a partner problem.
I'm 45. I'm married 18 years. But your guest glossed over so many points, especially hookup culture and how many women who are a 5 will step over a man who's a 7 just to have a chance with an 8 on these apps. This isn't some PEW research crap either, this is direct from my daughter, neices, nephews ,friends kids. All between 17 and 23. You can site all the papers you want but as a father and Uncle I know this is disingenuous data reading.
If some girl told me that they are single because no one has been good enough that is the que to immediately check out and make sure you never run into them again
@@terrorists-are-among-us if they claim no one is good enough that's an indicator that they would be very likely to keep trying to find someone else. It's not about failure it's about not wasting the effort on them.
@@terrorists-are-among-us lol wtf, this is no different than women who say "teehee, you must be intimidated" when a guy is like "you're not a likeable person, I'm not interested".
The lack of sex is down to the internet, back in the day women dated only the people they physically met, in work, friends of friends etc now they're virtually shopping online and have less of a need to notice or interact with the men around them while men watch porn and if they're ejaculating all the time they also have no interest in the women around them
Women will always be more attracted to the men they actually talk to on a regular basis than some picture of a guy on dating apps. It's mostly promiscuous women who like dating apps. They give them the opportunity to sleep with men who would never give these women the time of day if they met them in person. That's the harsh truth of it.
Sure, there's tons of merchandise online, but 99.9% of it isn't what we need. Like Alanis Morrisette said: *_"It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife."_*
On the topic of men not wanting to come across as creepy, this also comes from guys knowing that simply giving a woman attention she doesn't want can be enough to creep her out. I've been out to nightclubs with friends and had some 50 year old woman trying to grind against me. Receiving unwanted attention is weird and can be really creepy. A lot of guys would hate to know that they made a woman feel creeped out or grossed out so a lot just don't even bother
I agree, men could be struggling with approaching women in a day and age where women do not owe them anything. I think dating clubs, cafes and lounges are a great idea. Here in my city there's a rising number of places that are intended for single people to go and find other single people. It's different because you're meant to go completely alone. The whole purpose of the place is meeting new people and they actually do fun activities that help people break the ice. Maybe if we create spaces specifically designed for approaching the other sex, women would feel safer because they know what they are going for. Not to say there cannot be creepy behavior, men would also have to learn how to approach better.
@@danielyouth i love how it's men that have to do better, and not women. ( women in a day and age where women do not owe them anything) - Women believe they don't owe men anything, but they believe men owe them money (paying for the dates) for their time. It isn't worth it, if women aren't going to step up and actually offer something, men are not going to commit to you. Your comment is only addressing one side of the issue for women but you have mentioned absolutely nothing to help solve the issue for men. Men are actively staying single, they aren't having kids and they aren't marrying. They are putting in zero effort because the juice is not worth the squeeze.
@@jayc342009 I agree with you that men shouldn't have to pay for the first date. That's why I think we should get rid of the idea of men as the "providers". Both men a women can provide, don't you think so?
@@jayc342009 I mean, I'm not debating the fact that a majority or a significant amount of women expect the man to pay for dinner and make more money than them. My point is that such expectations are related to an out-dated idea of gender roles that we should get rid of. What do you think?
I have been married for over thirty years. My wife and I have a wonderful relationship. I cannot imagine dating today. For guys, it is like dancing in a minefield.
You didn't spend your boyhood and young years in front of a screen playing videogames or watching p-r-n, becoming socially awkward and unhealthy like they do these days and I bet you rose to the challenges and responsibilities of marriage like a true man.
@@ayanned MGTOW IS CREEPY.. THEY CHANGED IT TO INCEL BECAUSE THEY JUST CANT LEAVE US ALONE.. I HEAR GIRLS TALKING LIKE 5 FEET AWAY AND THEY ARE LITERALLY ALWAYS PUTTING YOU DOWN.. THEY LITERALLY CANNOT STOP TALKING AND THEYRE ALWAYS SAYING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT SOMEONE.. GIRLS ARE WEIRD DUDE.. THEYLL SAY THINGS LIKE UM YOURE GETTING TOO CLOSE THERE.. ITS ALWAYS SHAME..
26:35 the "boss babe" types getting confused and/or angry that after achieving financial and career success men don't find them particularly attractive are the female equivalent to male "nice guys". Both followed the advice society/culture gave them about what their potential future partners wanted. Both are upset they aren't receiving their due relationships after becoming what they thought they were supposed to become. Both have a hard time swallowing that they wasted their time modeling a mode of being that was ultimately distasteful to the opposite sex. Both are often indignant that the opposite sex doesn't find them attractive and often externalize the issue by indicating the real problem is with members of the opposite sex for not finding them attractive. The characters are different but the story beats are all the same.
No woman picks a career with a man in mind lol she needs to eat and pay bills. Women don’t live their lives for men like men live their lives for women
Career women don't get degrees for men. How many times do you have to be told that? They have their lives to build and bills to pay. And these days the number if women uninterested in being with someone has increased. There are only 15% of women using dating apps.
@@Yomel123 & @Nightwish You're not wrong, but categorically speaking a women with a typical 4 year degree and a typical job who just needs to get the bills paid wouldn't be the kind of woman I was talking about. I didn't say "all working women" or "all women with degrees" - more so those who, for whatever reason, go above-and-beyond the norm in focusing on their education and/or career - hence "boss babes". I also didn't say women get degrees or focus on their careers with men in mind. You're right, that would be silly because at some point surely most would realize along the way if all they wanted was a family grinding in education/career wouldn't be the best way to achieve that. I'm sure few if any career focused women are actively thinking "all the guys are gonna go nuts for me once I've made VP". It's more the post-hoc thought of "well I've accomplished something, that should count for something" which in terms of status it does - the main point here is that social status is factually not attractive to men like it is to women. Those who didn't already know that explicitly figure it out when they enter the dating market, I was pointing out that in my observation the grievances they then have seem to rhyme with the ones you hear from "nice guys".
22:30 yes, i can give an example of that. At work, this guy asked a girl out and she basically mobilized all their common friends against him labeling him as a stalker. Dude was isolated and had to change teams (came to mine) and still its observable how the group around her still controls him and whatever he does because their perception of him changed due to gossip. Trying to date at work its very risky and men are backing out of it. Now for people who dont use online dating and are not that much into social media, their dating market decreases exponentially if we nornalize the idea that asking someone out at work is creepy behavior.
That's horrible. Such a scenario is a giant fear for many people. W0men are conditioned to say no to interaction that they haven't initiated, even if it's something that they want.
after breaking up with a coworker things got very awkward and my personal business was told to anyone who would listen to her. It destroyed every positive relationship I had made in that job
Well, you described the situation very briefly, so it is difficult to comment on it. 1. This is your (his) version. You weren't there when he asked her out, so you can't know what actually happened and what preceded the whole situation. 2. For objectivity, it would be quite useful to know her version as well. 3. Such personal things are always quite complicated, so finding an objective value is difficult even for professionals because a lot of information is based on feelings, not facts. 4. Personally, I'm not a fan of workplace dating, even though it might seem like a natural thing to do. Every relationship has its ups and downs and sometimes it falls apart. And these things are contagious - boosts lift the whole team's workplace with that typical enthusiastic energy, and it usually helps; teams are more productive, the atmosphere is more cheerful, (sometimes too much, lol), etc. But when the falls happen, OMG, run who can; it lowers the atmosphere in the whole workplace, so who needs that... That's why many companies have a policy (more or less strict) that solves these problems in some way and I'm not surprised.
@@xpsxps1339 1. Only the two of them were there, so yeah no one knows for sure. 2. What i can say is that the guy has always been respectful towards anyone in the company and never tried to bring the situation up or mobilize anyone against her. She, on the other hand mobilized a group of people against him and they all went spreading gossip around the company. I think this kind of shows each others natures. 4. What i can say is that HR interveened and she was relocated to another team and the guy is doing the exact same thing. Id speculate and say they cut the serpents head from the group to send a message. Even though they continue controlling him daily. Example: guy goes on a break, one of them goes immediately after. He goes for lunch, a group of them goes after and sits close to laugh out loud and stuff like that. The woman goes outside smoking and just a couple of minutes later their group goes after (putting an interval between to see if he goes after her). They've been asking people from my team (me included) to go the breaks right in front of him even though they never did in the past. These are clear provocatory and intimidatory tactics and i wonder how cornered he must feel. If he deserves it or not i cant tell, but im judging based on what ive seen. Its also quite clear they were never interested in listening to his side either. 5. Me neither and even less after i saw this.
He has a lot of outdated and completely wrong information. Sure he is chill, but he is out of touch with reality. He is operating on what it was like about 20 years ago.
@@burgertime434 nearly everything he says. He is a graduate student, which means the info on which he is basing his opinions is older than the classes he just finished taking. To put it in a mechanical analogy lets say you go to school to be a mechanic. While you are doing your four year grind the technology of cars advances. Currently there is a fast change going on, so the cars you work on in school are ten to fifteen years old, and share almost no technology with what is sitting on a dealer's lot. The newest thing he is asserting is what was happening back around 2016. He actually cites a study from 2001, which is the only one he puts a date on. The dynamics of interpersonal intimate relationships is changing rapidly right now. The trends that were starting to appear 20 years ago are growing exponentially now. It used to be that the ladies went for the top 20% of men, but now they want the top 1% of men. The tallest, best looking, and wealthiest. Everyone else is invisible or unattractive to them. Most of us are not afraid of being seen as creepy, we are afraid of the one we talk to either calling the legal system on us, or using society to bash us in the head. You can lose your job for saying hello now. He glosses right past that and misses the point entirely. I've been watching all of this play out since I took the time to learn how to read females back in 1985 by watching the girl who was on a date with me, drop me and go for a friend of mine. Only for her to come back a couple months later after her ONS with him. She wasn't the kind of girl you keep around long term, so I she made a very good subject to study. I started watching and learning about people and have gotten quite adept at it. I am in the top 20% of men, not because I am tall or wealthy, its a dominance and muscle thing, as well as they are not a priority for me, which makes them attracted to me. being the 19th or 20 percentile gives me an interesting perspective, because I can see what works, what doesn't and being able to read who she is into and what draws her to various men means I can make some conclusions about the dynamics over the years. In the US military I saw all of this play out 30 years ago on overseas bases. I am seeing the same patterns now in the civilian world, and I know where it goes. The majority of men stop interacting with them. All of us who were under 6' tall stopped interacting with military females, we went off base to have fun with them. Its a microcosm of human nature at work on a military base, particularly if you want to see the dynamics of females who are showered with attention and validation because there is about 300 of them on base and roughly 6000 men. They get so much attention that they start to think they are incredibly attractive, rather than they are simply available, and the only ones available that speak the same language. Online dating and social media has achieved the overseas base effect. Girls can get attention and validation, no matter what they look like, from millions of men all over the world. That dude will catch up to this effect in about 20 years, but it will still be couched in left ist thought which is rooted in female nature and of course sees females as the best rather than actually human like everyone else.
So its NOT just me?! Well that's kind of a relief I'm not gonna lie lmao. But at very least I'm grown male focused on creating my best possible version with big goals and dating is not top of priorities right now. Interesting times we live in people.
I thought the same. I thought there was something wrong with me after starting over in dating 7 years ago. This online dating crap was making me depressed… so i got rid of all dating apps, learned about intersexual dynamics with Rollo Tomassi’s books and others, and figured out why women are the way they are, what they are into in general and how men could become better men. Now i date from time to time but women are no longer the focus of my life.
Amen brother. Rough time. 8 years depressed and anxious, eeking Orthodox Christianity which has helped, but right now I'd say try to become your own man. Be goal driven, find your dream and try to execute that dream. Kill self pleasure in ourselves. Find discipline, even spiritual discipline is very very important. Whenever my life is in chaos or I'm just too depressed to do anything, I simply get on my computer and try to produce music. I always say, if nothing happens today, I at least want to write a tune. Ill look back and have fond memories instead of regret. Most devastating feeling is regret. Something I'm desperately trying to avoid. It sucks not being able to find traditional quality women that will UNDERSTAND that men have feelings too.
The dating world is so strange and twisted. The idea of ever having to date again terrifies me. Everybody out here playing games instead of being genuine and seeing where it goes without judging or prejudice.
Chris, you are so effortlessly smart, and you might be my favourite podcast host, ever! You just effortlessly hold your own with your guest without being over the top and letting them speak and express their own as well. Well done man!
The idea of "wait until you get divorced and railed by the family court system BEFORE you guard yourself against it" makes no sense. That was a weird turn there in the middle of this discussion. Why get insurance until AFTER you get in a wreck? Bloody hell.
At the end it is mentioned that when you are 18 you should not be worried that you might lose your house….because you do not own anything. Just a minute later they discuss that the environment/relatives might impact you…e.g. if your parents were divorced you are more likely to get divorced. Is this fear in young people natural result of growing up with high number of parents going through a divorce? Have we traumatised our younger generation (especially guys seeing impact on fathers) ????
I would personally say the number one reason I don't date was my mother. So, I think it is a reality. I don't know how widespread it is, though and I'm not 18 anymore.
My parents divorce made me think I would never marry as a teen. My parents but especially my mom were always screaming at one another and us if we crossed their path, they seemed to h a t e family life and it was an utterly miserable childhood. When I moved out and went to university I was so depressed I ended up needing a psychiatrist and meds to function. Eventually I worked out my mental health and then I met my husband spring break of my freshman year. I was afraid still but I took the leap because I fell in love. Our relationship looks nothing like my parents and even 13 years later, we don't fight and scream and are still very much in love. I think my parents relationship taught me what not to do. I know for instance that a femnist mindset in a marriage is doom. To respect my husband, and I believe that if you disrespect you lose respect. Also that someone has to lead, and because I don't want to, that means I have to follow. Otherwise we'll always be butting heads over decisions like my parents did. I learned to spend money wisely (another thing my parents fought about was my mother's bad spending habits). To swallow your pride and apologize. I could go on but you get the picture I think. I know the statistics aren't good on people from divorced parents but because of how my parents divorce impacted me I am determined to NEVER divorce and my husband feels the same way. We will do everything to keep our relationship healthy and so far it's working for us.
@@TheManWithNoName6 Can you tone it down? I actually found this post quite interesting (as a man) and I don't think this mgtow mindset is very healthy. It's basically the same thing like with feminists. And, hey, believe me, I've been there thinking about a world without women but men have their issues too, as every DOTA lobby proves.
I chose not to get married when why parents' marriage was still intact. I saw no incentive to get married because most of my friends had divorced parents. I saw no point in loading 3 rounds and playing Russian roulette.
My ex husband comes from a broken family, where father was too selfish so my ex’s mother left him. We married while he thought he wanted a family, but some years after he started craving for single life again, thinking he’s not made to be a father, and is not even sure he wants kids. I thought it was me, but it might just be him. He is a man who has not learned how to be a proper family man.
True. Hence why I procreated and created my family with an European man. He fit my wants in a partner. He was/is an intelligent and successful financially and extremely attractive(my Dad said you had to think about your offspring's looks).
I'm in my 60s and have been single for the last 10 years and have never felt better.. in fact I love being single . I have 2 other single friends that are lonely and depressed about being single but then again I have many friends that are married and also lonely which is even worse ..
Finding love and making a family seems impossible at least for me. Everyone makes it seem so easy,but it feels like I wasn't meant to have this despite thinking about it alot. My future is uncertain right now.
Honestly. Let go of the idea. I was also battling these thoughts, but I realised not all people will get a children anyways and that's OK. There's also alot of people who get children but shouldn't get them. Dont torment yourself that you lack something in life.
Get your passport and travel to South America. Dating is still easy and girls are more traditional. Your chances of finding a mate is 99.9 % in Latin countries. Most Latin women in all social classes are raised in a traditional ways. There is no playing mind games and approaching is a lot easier. The more you know about the culture in said country the more changes you have to meet Latin girls. Happy Hunting!!!
Love your podcast, agree with all your points. Gotta make a small correction though, Melinda gates started at Microsoft in product development as a marketing manager, not as a receptionist.
I'm good with words and approach in person or online and know myself well . What I have experienced with dating over the last 5 years as a 50+ single guy is a joke. I'm so tired of it. And I was relationship for 30 years, so I know what deep communication is. I really feel for the younger guys and have no suggestions.
Yeah. Go abroad and "geomaxx". That's the best suggestion I can give if the man can stomach living in a 3rd-world country where they speak a different language
16 years ago I could get an online date. Nowadays, I can only get one in person. Tinder, Facebook, screwed the game up! Tho, today, I can get more _poon for my buck_ if I approach a lot of chicks my age.
People are busy, people are feeling ugly, people are broke, people are insecure, and people are pessimistic because it feels like everything is going wrong When people aren't doing well or as well as they would want to in their own personal lives, they are less likely to get involved in the personal lives of others.
Thanks for the great content, fella. It's got me down a whole bunch of rabbit holes, especially the evolutionary biology stuff. Also, it's got me a massive list of books to get through, which is never a bad thing! Keep on truckin', Chris!
And the "friend" group is just a bunch of rotten, envious trolls who cannot stand to see their "friend" happy with a man. They will poison her mind constantly with "He's not really very tall" or "He said THAT!?!?" over any little thing. They want to destroy each others' joy. They're literally wicked people.
@@Willie_Wahzoo nail on the head. Zero support for a relationship to last. It's always to tear it apart. Been in 3 different 6 year relationship's. Married the first two. Im guilty in my own rights, I wonder if a sandwich was all we really needed.
basically it's impossible to have sex if you don't meet certain criteria. but at the same time you are surrounded with sexual messages. sex is everywhere... everywhere but in real life, for many. and the funnyest part is, that if you are a virgin, you are saw as a weirdo, at best, and a dangerous hating monster at worst. and it's not your fault, but it is at the same time. so you keep it for yourself, hyding your pain. and you do everything you can to hyde it. and it gets worse every time.
Yeah, no car and your out for a lot of people. I accept people have prioritized assets over personhood, but it shows in people's personalities. It repulses me, and my mentality disgusts others. The divide.
Don't focus on how much bad luck you've had with women so far. Commit to personal goals, find a job you like, go to the gym get in shape, go buy a decent wardrobe and take care of your hygiene and discipline. You will certainly find a woman you like and this time she will want you
Incel here, it's brutal man. I've tried online dating apps and got literally zero matches. I'll do anywhere from 1-10 cold approaches throughout the week and have very little success, most women seem uncomfortable when I try to talk to them. I don't really have any friends and the few that I do have don't have female friends who are single either. I've tried night game at clubs/bars and most women I've encountered just want a free drink or they'll have a female friend drag her away from me. I try and put myself out there, but man I'm running out of ideas how dating is possible for someone like me.
You say you don't have a friend group either. That's alarming. I think perhaps concentrate on making friends and having a social circle of friends and activities
(just my own experience) I was asking women around me (mostly married, 40sh, feminists) what situations they consider “appropriate” way to approach a women. my question was exactly if street, bars, gym, workplace, school etc all off limit, what is ok? unanimously they answered online dating…
I won’t go back to that till I’m In the best shape of my life. I had a bit of success 6-7 years ago but it was pretty exhausting too lots of weird women.
It seems like everyone ignores each other. People flirt these days, but we're all so nervous, we don't take it to the next level. Then it gets cold, and it's back to square one where the cycle of lonely repeats.
Great conversation! I think it's hard for (young) men to do the right step while dating or even meeting someone. It always feels like a lose-lose situation for them. Modern ideology destroys human nature and leaves everyone behind, confused and lonely. Having Joey Swoll on your channel would be awesome.
It really does just feel like a lose/lose situation. Women won't approach you, but you're creepy and gross for approaching women. And literally every time this is brought up, the response is 'don't be creepy', as though that definition changes entirely depending on how a woman is feeling at the time.
I think it's great that younger people are not drinking. Putting their health first is a great idea. And it's a waste of money and has no benefit to the human body.
I was thinking the same thing, "are you glorifying the drinking 90's?". The aspect of social media that people get to know each other at a strictly platonic level first is helpful. Although the thought that all your conversations are online and there is a forever history of everything , maybe not so much.
You guys did so good this episode! Showed some good perspectives and great points! I hope ppl watch this with an open mind and won’t be so quick to say something before they can try to understand. It’s unfortunate to regularly see complainers on your comment section for any video.
Are chads getting the majority of women on dating apps? The answer is yes. My friend is a chad, and women throw themselves at him every day. He goes on dates every weekend. EVERY weekend. It's gotten to a point where his phone is starting to stress him out
I think the dude was cherry picking bad stats. The pew research data doesn't take into consideration the quality or really duration of the relationship. It was one of my biggest issues. 70% of people in relationships what does that mean? How many of those are marriages? How many of those are between 1-12 months old? There is a large difference between 70% of people being marriages for 5 years on average compared to dating for 6 months.
Melinda Gates was never a receptionist at MS, she was hired as a product manager (computer science degree and MBA). The 'take the afternoon off' line never happened.
The work avenue has already been cut off completely. When you criminalize (legally or by company policy) getting rejected, no man is going to take the risk of even appearing to be interested in a woman at work. The entire sexual harassment idea has been so overblown it's actually ridiculous. A man could ask a woman out one time, get rejected, and never speak of it again and still get accused of creating a hostile environment for her. And the accusation is enough, there needs to be no proof or motive, as long as the "victim" feels victimized, you are guilty.
@@CJ-ft9yo yes, actually happens. Company policy stated that if the victim feels they are harassed, then that is what happened. There needs to be no motive, intention, corroboration, or proof. You are guilty simply because the accusation was made.
@@CJ-ft9yo Well, corporations are extraordinarily risk averse, they will absolute fire you if there is a chance you will bring them trouble. If you complain or sue, they will just point to their policy that you agreed to.
i just cant even keep up with all these amazing podcasts i want to watch/listen to. clearly, yours are on the top of the list. but you've also been a guest on other podcasts, which i also tend to give a listen. and sometimes even follow them as well if i find them interesting. dont get me wrong, i aint complaining. its amazing. keep up the absolutely brilliant work.
@@croissants1280 thats an unnecessarily agressive thing to say lol. how do you think i know it for a fact exactly? because me and my friends have run the experiment i mentioned countless times over the years. geez, if anyone needs to go outside its you XD
@@migah139 that's an unnecessarily aggressive thing to say. It is possible he has a point, it is important to be open to all sides in a debate so you don't come across as arrogant. Love.
This is true. I have a friend who women gush over. He's a funny, extremely attractive guy and gets a pass for being very filthy. Many of these women are "taken". They love it when he flirts. Anybody else would get a restraining order. I think it's funny to watch the mental gymnastics.
Yea and try the same thing with pamela anderson and a fat girl. Your rambling post said about as much as the sky is blue. Stop crying about the competition and get to work or shut up.
@@chickenbroski99 the sky IS blue. correct. thanks for telling me what i said was obvious! ;) didnt complain about the competition. i explained why the creepy factors didnt add up. if you spent half the time reading that you do being toxic on the internet, that likely wouldnt have slipped by you
It's worth noting that although many using apps want relationships, many of those tend to find apps not helpful in accomplishing this. Especially on Tinder. I don't remember all the datapoints, but essentially the conclusion is that those who get on them to find relationships often tend to quit after realizing that apps aren't really conducive to achieving this goal. Those who stay on them long term are using them for more for casual hookups. Also, there is a correlation between warm approaches creating more lasting relationships than cold approaches, and this is true regardless of the medium. Cold approaches include online dating and approaching a stranger offline, vs meeting through a friend on or offline. This is generally considered to be the case because with cold approaches we tend to eliminate people based on shallow things like looks more than we do when meeting through friends, where we get to know the person before writing them off, often because initially we may not be looking at them as a romantic possibility.
I was at a bar and smiling while watching the game. The female bartender was acting very uncomfortable and asked me what I was smiling about and she knew what I was doing, she said, stop it now. Are you uncomfortable because I'm feeling happy? You need to check yourself.😅😮😂
Next time tell the bar owner to fire her or you’ll call every city number and report his business for selling to underage people. Quickest way for their liquor license to be reviewed. They will not want any of that.
This guy is pretty spot on. Interesting to hear him draw the correlation between alcohol consumption and sexual activity. I’ve been saying for a long time that drinking is an integral part of the human mating ritual.
@@allangilbert5865 yes. That’s definitely part of it. I imagine women get beer goggles too. I think one of the other aspects is it breaks down our inhibitions and gives men the confidence to approach women and make sexual advances without being awkwardly self conscious about it.
The only happy couple I've ever seen in my fifty years of life were my parents (and grandparents). I see no other happily married people, even amongst my parents siblings.
I didn't even see that. Even my grandparents sort of just co-existed and while it wasn't a trainwreck of a marriage or anything like that, it also wasn't a happy one.
@@HenrySomeone Bingo someone else finally seen it & said it. I find most people seem to think relationships were so much better in our parents, grandparents, maybe even our great grandparents day. This belief is not true. There was still unhappy people way back in the day. We are finding people are not opting for getting with someone out of need whether it be financial, maybe forced due to having sex out of marriage or worse, need to have a house maker, child raiser, etc. The list of reasons that were some what valid back in the 1970s & earlier. An older gentleman (86) I knew well said his granddad married about 3 times when his wives died due to child birth. He did not learn that having sex obviously gave him more children to support & each birth was a risk even in the yearly part of the 1900s. The women got younger while he got older until he could not find anyone to marry him then tried to get his daughter to fill that job. My friends mother ran away and married his dad & they had 10 kids. ugh
I believe a good chunk of men are weighing the risk of having a potentially good date vs potentially getting falsely accused of something that would ruin the rest of their lives and opting out of the dating pool as a result
Its sad because women are terrified of men physically harming them when most men will never hurt anyone. And men are becoming terrified of women ruining their lives with accusations or what have you when most women would never do that. There's a disconnect and we really need to fix it at some point
He's a very small content creator but I've been following Alex for a long time. He BTFOs a whole lot of the bad red pill advice/perspectives. I'm glad you gave him a platform/exposure.
The only quality dates I get with quality, attractive women are from me approaching them in public. It sounds scary, but it's really not. And it's never creepy for taking your shot. What's creepy is when you keep staring at a woman and never approach. What's creepy is when you're turning the conversation sexual within a minute. You'll build confidence and social skills by talking to women. When you begin feeling confident about yourself your body language will make someone feel comfortable, and what you're saying and feeling gets translated into a positive and authentic vibe. I can't do dating apps man. I don't take good pictures, I hate hitting on women over a text, I just feel like I'm trying to sell myself. It's just not for me. I prefer to connect with someone or get rejected to my face. That feeling of rejection sucks temporarily, but you learn to overcome it and you grow stronger from it. If you have a positive mindset, rejection and failure in life only pushes you to go further, to change your reality. Any great person will have a story of rejections and failures. And dating is no exception to this rule, it applies the same. However if you have a negative mindset, rejection and failure will only play into your mental narrative of "yup see I told you so, I knew this would happen". The first step is to change your mindset, nothing else can change until you do that first.
Get muscles and money, these women don’t like you as much as you like them. If you meet someone special while you’re working on your life in early ages, great. Happened to me once in college. But just work and stay focused. Cultivate power within yourself.
You are primarily responsible for your fate. Trust me so many people I know who were "popular" at 18 turned out to be duds and many who were nothings ended up killing it in every aspect of life. Believe and invest in yourself.
I haven't had sex in years. I can't say I'm totally cool with it but compared to the shitshow that I went through before having undiagnosed ADHD and high functioning autism, the trade off is worth it.
I have those also and it makes relationships very hard and it isn't worth it for me in the end. Being a women I am considered a witch for not wanting sex and relationships and having some insight and self awareness . If a women decided this she is depriving men of sex but if a guy makes this decision he will be praised.
I've been watching multiple videos of this channel and what seems to be agreed by many guest speakers is that online dating/internet is a huge problem.
Last time I tried it five years ago I had three dates in 2 years all one and done except for one I saw twice…..it was exhausting the same thing I noted 7 years ago when I first tried it
I approach women and I’d say 50/50 would say yes. Out of that half would land into a date. What I’ve noticed is women are able to read your energy and sincerity. When I’m not confident in myself or when my energy is low, no matter what I say, it won’t work. The reverse is true.
@@404nonexistent In other words, the confidence has to be warranted. There needs to be some congruency and continuity between the energy that predicates how you look, behave, dress, speak, move, express your masculinity, etc.
@@404nonexistent it may not even be about you at all…. Women are looking for any reason to reject you… (in general). While men are looking for any reason to accept her.
Here's why, I'm working from home and I don't like clubbing or music really, and all my interests revolve around computer so my outlets for meeting new people are near non existant. Broke out of a long relationship and all friends already have partners so I'm barely seeing them once or twice a month, and hanging out with new colleagues fizzled out as we're all WFH. My social skills and the sense of humor have been actively degrading from years of living alone since college ended, so I'm basically an NPC now who can make friends somewhat easily, but not much more than that because I can't related to people, and don't have any personality traits that women want. I'm not outgoing or dominant, I don't care about career, money or ambition, and love spending time indoors. No girl I've ever meet goes wild for that.
lots of girls want to spend lots of time at home! The problem is finding them. You can't find them in social places. you don't fund these girls at clubs by definition. They won't use dating apps either because they don't want to do that. You have to observe and be sort of what might be perceived as creepy by some. You manufacture a meet cute of some sort and make her laugh. As long as you can make her laugh. That's what most people are happiest with unless they are the social types that have to go out all the time. TEh secret is lots of girls are lonely and if you find a way to meet without acosting them, you'll succeed. If you fail, they'll be flattered. When people try to pick up people, it's flattering if if the person isn't dressed like a sexual object. A typical humble person doesn't have that happen every day. Many girls are waiting for almost anybody to enter their lives.
@@MicahMicahelI think you're right but the statistical probability of meeting a girl who likes this AND both of us being remotely interested in each other on top, is very slim. The main struggle of introverts is that your chances of meeting another like minded introvert (that is unless one of them prefers an exact opposite type of person) are astronomically low since neither of them has much social exposure. I'm not a hermit or anything but living ina medium/small sized town without many general events and without any niche group interests I could use to find someone, the options are very few indeed.
@@omarcomming722 You know I've picked up girls at art supply stores? A club is bad because you have no idea who the person is. Clubs are bad for talking. Music is too loud. Find a girl in a line up and chat her up. make her laugh. Give her your phone number. YOu have zero to lose. Pride hurts but not that much. Girls sometimes think being picked up unsuccessfully is creepy. That's the thing I hear now. It's always been that way to some extent. Who cares. My line up idea makes it so you find other introverts. Artists are usually introverted. You find introverted products and lineups. It probably sounds creepy? does it? It's not. Our culture wants you to pick up people up online. That's anti human. After you give your phone number the girl will think about it possibly and phone you up. It happened to me and I'm not a great looking guy. I guess I'm alright but I'm no Tom Cruise.
@@MicahMicahel I don't know man, IMO it takes more confidence to chat someone up at a random store line up than it does at the club even though the actual communication is easier. I have no problem talking to men or women at house parties for example or any event where it would make sense for us to talk, but the little charm I have disappears completely when I'm talking to random strangers, even with neighbors from the building. I don't frequent any stores that are unique enough for there to be anything to talk about to a random person in the line, and being anxious and self conscious by default, it would be even worse with dozens of other people listening in. Not to diminish your advice at all and I do think it's very valid, but it sounds like extrovert advice 101, I don't know of any introverts charmingly chatting people up in public places.
I'm what you'd call a celibate MGTOW. I don't date, have sex, or pursue relationships with women. I'm not an incel since I'm attractive, fit, educated, well off, and don't have (I don't think) major personality flaws. I'm not perfect, but if I put my mind to it I could hook up, I could date, I could probably get a relationship. In fact, I've had many short-term relationships, a few long-term relationships where marriage was on the table, and my fair share of flings and hookups. So, I CHOOSE to be celibate. Honestly, it's been so long that I've been off the market and things have changed so much that I'm not really sure how I'd fare. I'm not keen on internet dating though I've done it a little in the past, and asking someone out cold that I didn't already know hasn't ever been my thing. The problem is, society, women, feminists, most psychology professionals who study this, many "blue pill" men, and even some in the manosphere don't know and don't want to know why it is people take my route. They'd rather invent attributes, scenarios, and motivations a la straw men rather than genuinely find out. I'll tell you straight up why I don't - it's too risky. Every relationship I've had ended badly, except for one that was more mutual. Badly meaning hard feelings and me ending up on the short end of the stick emotionally, financially, life situation, and psychologically. I've been lucky enough not to have been accused of anything untoward, but I think it's because I was extraordinarily careful. So, I've been burned, badly, so much so that it's altered my life in significantly negative ways that I've never been able to recover from. I've also been hashed to shreds in family court - it played out in such a cliche way that hundreds of thousands of men would be able to identify with it, because the family courts are heavily skewed in favor of women. I've also been badly sexually harassed at work by women who primarily were interested in me, mostly married women believe it or not, and when things didn't go their way they made my professional life a living hell. Had all that happened 10 years later, I probably would have been summarily fired and my career ruined, because of MeToo. I never did anything bad, just tried my best to gently reject, yes, their sexual harassment. Since MeToo and the common culture believe that it's men who harass and women are victims, and no one takes female on male sexual harassment seriously, I just had to live with it. The managers involved did the best they could, but HR and senior management weren't interested in hearing my side of things. The ONLY thing that saved me were saved emails and text messages proving my innocence. Again, if it were 10 years later they'd have fired me just to avoid the appearance of an issue. I also am well aware of the countless horror stories of other men when it came to women and relationships, completely innocent men utterly destroyed. It's just too risky. Men face real-world ruination. If it were just a matter of bruised egos and hurt feelings, I could live with that. As it is, innocent men all over are falsely accused or completely turned inside out by family courts, or even in prison. Women face no such issues. Sure, there are decent women out there, but every relationship I've been in started out thinking I was with a decent woman. Most of them turned out to be far from it. Any one of them could have made my life 100x worse, if again it were only a few years later. But, trying to sort out the decent women from the good ones is an impossible task, and every woman we date is a crap shoot. We have NO idea what's really going on in her mind, what kind of person she is, what she might be like in 1 year, or 5 years, or 20 years. All it takes is one to destroy a man's life, and society absolutely couldn't care less about that man. You want to know why many, if not most, men don't date, or are very reluctant to do so? Try talking to them. Have long conversations with MGTOW, not the freshly minted ones, but ones who have been one for a while. Most men may not be MGTOWs, but MGTOWs can articulate what most men feel about it. I have yet to see any real effort on this, because most people don't want to know. They'd rather just espouse how evil men are, or simply how cowardly men are for not "stepping up".
Dead on point. The worst is when you get married. You ain't see nothing until you do. It's a lose, lose situation. If it goes well, you suffer cause you are working harder to keep it going. And you'll die before her....anyhow If it goes bad, the blame is on you.. and you're ruined. I've been there for 20years of my active life
^ OP You are an "Incel". (INtentionally CELibate). People try to use this term as an Insult. But the reality is, people are trash. Why spend your life pursuing people who don't give a rip about you. Except to father their child who's purpose is to be their lifestyle accessory. One for which You have to pay them bi-weekly for 18+ years for them to possess. It's tragic. But women buy the modern "feminist" lies without actually thinking them through.
You're on point...the juice is not worth the squeeze. These guys only focus on women and an outdated concept of masculinity... it's all about economics... basically the majority of men have been left behind by the dating market because the standards are way too high... it's not about having a decent income...its about status, appearance, female perception and on top of that all the legal and social risks...Too much work and risk for just having a relationship with a woman.
Interesting that getting drunk at young age and engaging in sexual activity with another drunken person can be looked at a positive light. Especially when it is not a positive experience for most people.
Another good one from Chris. To everything that has been said and discussed in this podcast I would also add this simple idea that people come with a lot of bullshit and that these days there are more and more people who are not willing to put up with it. Which is partly why people are giving up on relationships and dating altogether.
so around 51 mins you told us that there are many sites that let you try different hairstyles and styles in general. could you help a brother out and tell me which ones? i really love your work, it is becoming my favorite podcast because subjects here can actually help me become better man.
If you haven't had Adam Lane Smith on you should. Pretty much everything this guy had to say lined up perfectly with Attachment Theory and how bad Attachment effects romantic relationships. Almost everyone is broken and, most tragically, most have no idea they are or how to even try and fix it.
He's had him on twice. It's on the videos list awhile back. It's one of his most popular episodes. Makayla Peterson saw him on here and then had him on her podcast and that became one of her most popular episodes that's really good. I've watched his episodes multiple times they're so good. Just type in his name and their names or podcast on here and it'll come up.
My girlfriends and I were discussing men being considered ‘creepy’ recently and in essence it depends on whether or not we like you (you’re funny, kind, come across well) or find you attractive; two men could say the same thing and the one we like would be considered confident / funny etc and the one we don’t would be considered creepy, an undercurrent could be that the ‘creep’ tried to take the chat sexual or came across leering out of the gate… We also wondered if men have a similar thing in the reverse?
It's the Halo effect. It's well studied that when we find someone attractive, we assume everything about them is better. It's an unconscious bias in everyone.
I was working at Microsoft at the time Bill and Melinda became an item and can say that Melinda was NOT a receptionist. She was a Product Manager for what product I can't recall. She did work on "Bob" but I can't recall whether that was after they were already dating. Anyway, the point is that she was in a considerably higher position at Microsoft than a receptionist. I'm sure she had a fairly impressive academic career and is very smart.
Even back in the day, confident blokes always got laid. It was the classic joke about the guy going up to every girl and saying "hey fancy a f***". One responds "don't you get a lot of rejections?" and he says "yes, but I get a fair amount of f**ks too". In the same way that sales people very quickly get used to being told "no" by prospective customers, it's the same with men chatting up women. The more you do it, the less you get bothered about rejection, and you ultimately get better with practice.
Cringe. Only works if you are low in neuroticism to begin with, otherwise the constant rejection will just degrade your self esteem, and if you live in a big city. Do that in a town and you'll eventually get a negative reputation as some awkward loser desperately hounding women at bars. And even if you succeed, at the end of the day you're just having meaningless sterile casual sex with strangers. Bars aren't the places you find stable women for long term relationships. Stop being a degenerate.
I remember 8 yrs ago when I was single I grabbed some lunch. There was a cute guy sitting across from me and we smiled at each other and had some eye contact. I then finished my lunch and left and went into a book shop a few doors down the road. I never gave the interaction a 2nd thought then I turned the corner and the same guy was there asking for my name and if I had Mexican food often and what book was I shopping for etc. I was so surprised he followed me into another store and asking all these questions and I regret I was very socially awkward with him which no doubt come across as rude or not interested. Before I could apologise he said “whatever” and abruptly left. I tried to follow him to apologise but he was gone. I think sometimes those interaction are so outside the norm for both sexes now it can lead to a bad or awkward experience. I still feel bad and hope the cute guy has now found his dream girl.
Yes its its women's fault coz they make whole experience awkward, you liked the guy but still ruined it and imagine what happened when girl doesn't like guy(90% of time) and he approach in broad daylight? Too much screen time cauzed loss of of social skills
Dude, why did you even have to comment? There have always been shy girls, and you making out that it's all spawned from the internet is.. very telling.
In my long pool of experience holding the "I don't want to seem creepy" thought at the forefront of my thinking has only increased the odds that may happen. It's somewhere in my mind as a baseline understanding but it's not the main thing I think about. Over time you just build up a sense of self and sense of other people and sense of motive that doesn't come off as creepy. How always carries far more than the what. The exact same words can be said by the same person animated by two totally different spirits drastically change the nature of the interaction Edit - Don't discount the effect of serial killer docus and general murder and crime docu's. They are incredibly popular especially with the ladies and it does add a certain layer of pause because many of these shows play out the situation of the "Guy who seemed normal at first but ended up being a killer or rapist" or whatever. Which in it's self is good and well the more safe women are the better but it is also common to assemble common traits among these sort of men and if one trait is identified it's a red flag. I've also seen it somewhat common for women to say "Well step one is making sure this person isn't a murderer." Again overall a good thing but I definitely think the viewing of these murder and crime series contributes to hesitancy.
@@DrGingerHamster Yeah I can see that. There's the attractive/neutral/unattractive spectrum and it deeply effects what she does with the energy you put out. I will say though sometimes the difference between unattractive and attractive is as simple as how you're animated in combined sum. The "vibe recognition" proliferation we've seen
As an early Millennial, I can confidently say that beginning in the 90's, young people really started to be told that making someone "uncomfortable" with an inappropriate comment or advance was something to be avoided. Previous generations were not taught to be so uptight. Pre-1990's, if a female (much less a guy) complained about feeling "uncomfortable", people would just tell that person to deal with it and move on.
"Creepy" is a word whamin use to shame and manipulate others. Simple as that. What one whamin calls "creepy" another would think nothing of. The fact that we're looking to whamin as "righteous judges" is absolute foolishness.
😂😂😂 I love the first studies, 85% of women find men creepy but 85% of women want men to approach. I mean we get it, they don't want us ugly ones near them.
Opt for a yellow Labrador Retreiver. They love ❤️ sandwiches and will fetch one out of the fridge for you on command. Plus they never have to put on their make up. Man's best friend for a reason.
The peacock thing is spot on. Women are picking dudes like "Lets breed in characteristics that will get us killed as a species in the long term because IT LOOKS NICE"
because women suck at choosing long term partners. They always have. when divorce is initiated 70% of the time by women 50% of the marries that happen end in divorce. almost 37% of women are single mothers. Yeah. They suck at picking who to sleep with.
1:04:55 Man, yes, it happened to me. I have invested myself into a marriage and gained nothing but an ache. And my story yet has a comparatively (to the others who run through a divorce) good ending, but still I lost 6 years for the sake of the sexless marriage and wife's constant dissatisfaction (she either was bored or depressed while spending all her days in the bed searching IG for another stupid idea of how to make her self-awareness even more miserable), and what I gained from it? Well, gained an experience which led me to the Red pill community.
@@kc6810 Hah, I just married a regular woman. I have commited to her and she got bored like every other women are) I'm sure that her depression was just a reflection of a feeling that she could do better (i.e. she deserves more). Right before I broke up with her, she literally stated that she wants to have fun until her 40s. And it is common as far as I am aware now. Not just me was unlucky, it just we as a western society treat them far too well. I suspect they would be much more happy if we put them in hijabs and take off their social media accounts))
Yeah, friend, it happens to the best of em. Don't give up, just get real good at vetting the next woman. There are good women out there, I promise you.
@@kc6810 while I personally don't disagree with you... you married 33 years ago. dating and relationships have drastically changed since then. and cases like yours a long marriage get rarer and rarer. 50% of marriages end in divorce these days. and the average length is 8 years now. so meaning he technically speaking he is 2 years below that average. marriage these days is a scam (for men) anyways, nothing but designed to take everything from men, when the divorce will happen in a few years.
@@kc6810 Isn't all these location based too? Where are you from? I think you might be from somewhere which is a more socially conservative place with strong emphasis on marriage and family and he is more from a place with socially liberal attitudes where emphasis is more on having "fun" ("till the 40s" as he stated.)
Great pod Chris thank you! I am a recent listener and I have to say that your podcast is now at the top of my list. I find the "decline in sexual desire" to be a fascinating topic/subject. It seems that there is a trend for alternative sexual outlets amongst the 40-50 year old's and it is not being discussed due to its taboo nature. The alternatives include, Polyamory, Swinging, Hotwife'ing, Cuckolding, Threesomes, Foursomes, and many more. Whether or not practicing one of these alternatives is within the moral code monogamy, it is happening on a larger scale than many care to to admit. I personally am not advocating for one of these outlets, but I can tell you without a doubt that there are a huge amount of people within the world from ALL walks of life who are definitely participating in this non-monogamous lifestyle. There is much more on the topic and it would be a pleasure to discuss more sometime. Thanks again man for finding your true self and sharing with the world!
On the other hand, if two incomes aren’t enough to support housing and/or kids, then living with parents again does not feel like “relieved from necessities”
Hello you beauties. Enjoy this one! Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
01:31 How to Approach Women Without Feeling Creepy
16:19 What is Causing the Rise in Sexless Men?
22:32 The Rising Standards of Women
27:34 Does Being Single for a Long Time Impact Happiness?
31:42 What It’s Like to Be in the Top 20% of Men on Dating Apps
36:40 Are Attractive Women Having More or Less Sex?
46:44 What Guys Get Wrong About What Women Find Attractive
58:12 The Origins of Inceldom
1:08:09 Do Men Really Want to Cheat?
1:16:03 Decline in Sexual Desire over Length of Relationship
1:23:42 Why People Accuse Alex of Pro-Feminist Dating Views
1:29:42 Where to Find Alex
How can a man be qualified enough to talk about the reasons people aren’t having sex, yet dumb and ignorant enough not shave off the reason that he’s not having sex
Ngl my brethren. I come from a different generation where no matter what ranking of physical attractiveness (P.A.) you were, you found a person who was on the PA level as you and therefore you were at minimum having it every several months or having it with a person either on a weekly or monthly basis. 📅
It’s interesting how that still stands at my age (undisclosed
Bc I still get told I don’t look anywhere close to my age), but I must say it’s definitely the new times of things, mixed with Gen Z and up. But will not hide the fact that it’s just the new ZEITGEIST of times where less men are having sex. 😢
At my age now what I do is follow the TH-cams:📌
1.) stay in shape
2.) stay lean and toned
3.) think about my wardrobe and the psychology of it
4.) understand seduction
5.) take care of my skin and teeth
6.) watch scientific TH-cams and ones like this to keep up on the latest trends…
I seem to be doing okay with dating women who anywhere between 2 to 8 years YOUNGER than me. Also I you might add that I have life experience. And not just as a resume thing, more like, put me in a room alone and I can survive as if I was the US Army’s Special Forces 🇺🇸
But brothers it’s sad these days and all I want is my gentlemen, young and old to WIN WIN WIN no matter what 🏆
It’s a tough world for any man! I want to be here to support you
🤜🏾💙🤛🏻
Creepy just means not attractive. They want to be approached by Chad.
when you say "Why Is No One Having Sex", I would like to hear what percentages of men are virgins and what percentages of women are virgins
What your describing is a situation where the male is in a much weaker position than the female.
That is why they have stopped having sex, it obvious.
It's crazy that 20+ years ago it was considered taboo and weird to date someone from online; fast forward to now, it's considered taboo and weird to street approach.
Tinder and online dating are still not socially accepted in Eastern Europe. Most girls avoid it as a means of finding a serious partner and prefer to be approached in real life. However, the old rule still applies - if you are attractive, approaching someone in public may be acceptable, but if not, it may be seen as creepy.
I think most people consider both taboo and weird. Most people meet in what is considered warm approach environments and in particular, closed social groups. I personally believe that the loneliness crisis we have are people who lack a closed social group to be a part of and subsequently base their assumptions entirely on online dating. Noting from a recent study, someone (retweeted by Alex) calculated the percentage of single people using online dating is only nine per cent. That's not a typo, that is nine per cent. Meaning ninety one percent did not use online dating.
The only people who consider online dating bad/evil whatever are short/poor men and fat/old/bad looking women.
@@throwacnt7603lol
@@artofmybody2882 Glad you enjoyed it. :) By the way you must be a VERY open person. Your channel is incredibly varied with all kinds of wacky stuff. Pretty cool, best of luck.
Thanks for having me on the show, loved our chat!
Hey glad to see you here I'm an early subscriber from thinking.ape. keep it up my man !
What's with the OG CRT Monitor in the back, you in a museum?
Keep on growing chadistician!
This blew my mind. Before this, I thought of you as a “bro.” I thought you were like a 27 year old grad student(I know u from Twitter). Now I see you as a sir, at least I think so. Looking good for your age man, whatever it is.
Have you ever seen a study on risk aversion increasing with status?
Asking because what I think gets missed when talking about the "Tall girl problem" is that the Risk for men of being reported for normal pro social behavior may appear greater when you have higher status.
I have a great physique and a doctorate with a great career, yet approaching women has become legitimately terrifying to me. I just have too much to lose by being reported for harassment or any advance outside of an app.
Seeing women complain about a lack of men that fit my exact description (minuses 5'7" height lol) is infuriating
I’m an introverted and shy person. I met my husband at church but we began dating bec he would organize co-ed softball games on Sunday afternoons
He would invite all his friends on Social Media
After a couple Sundays being on the same team we began liking each other.
7yrs later we’re married taking our son to softball games
Thats nice. I hope I can meet a decent woman at church.
There's no good women in church
AMEN! I keep looking for a good Godly woman at church. No lunch so far but I have hope. Beautiful story, and may your family be blessed. 🤙🇺🇸
*Luck
Being confident helps, but many guys have been rejected so many times, they can't even half fake confidence. It's like a miserable person trying to smile. The most they can do is distort their face.
They're Jordan Peterson's lobster.
Telling men to be confident approaching women is like telling investors to be rich when buying stocks.
it's always been like that. People have to be brave. That's the problem. Every age has many meds too afraid to make the move. Even in the 80s and nineties people thought it was weird to walk up to people you don't know and try to date them. IS it creepy? Maybe humans are creepy. I used to find girlfriends in line ups and buses. I never saw other people talking up girls;s unless they were somehow introduced. Why wait for that if you have free will though?
Dating apps are like asking the devil to help you with dating. Why ask a machine? Sometimes attraction is something that can't be communicated through technology.
We're losing our humanity.
@@bigneiltoo damn, I’m stealing that one!
@@bigneiltooI think the importance of confidence is not so much about the other person but more about who u r and how u feel about yourself
Bro looks 25 and 45 at the same time but I really like what he is saying.
Idk why but he's reminding me of Gary Oldman in the 5th element 🤣
Bro should get phd in rizzology and help a brother out to get laid
@@channyngtatum9231 probably got a minor in yuppieology too
If he shaves it will get even more confusing😅😅
Left half of the face is 25, right half is 45. I am so confused looking at this dude
This guy's channel is very underrated. He makes long videos, but they are very interesting, and he has a cool style of explanation.
There also better *because* they’re long.
You can only get into good details and good info with a longer time spent. Whether that’s researching something, listening to this, reading, etc
That’s not a bug, that’s a feature. That isn’t a negative and the fact that people’s attention spans are apparently so dismal that they can’t listen to something that’s long form is the problem.
Dating got way harder compared to 10 or 15 years ago. One of the main reasons that almost no one seems to talk about is the way men are represented in the media nowadays. In movies, shows, television and also in songs men in general are depicted as disgusting, unfaithful, stupid and weak. That definitely has an effect on the dating market. Women got super picky and cautious. I remember seeing a lot of close dancing and kissing couples in clubs and bars 5 to 10 years ago (pre metoo and covid era), but that has become very rare nowadays.
I'm 50 and I completely agree that dating is way harder and weirder nowadays than it was before. And while you're right that men are portrayed in a far worse light than before, women are also portrayed unflattering as well. Basically the two genders are more at "war" with each other than ever before. It makes dating a lot trickier, antagonistic and a lot more unpleasant than before.
That is a really solid point. I didn’t think of this but I believe you have reached a new layer of this subject.
I see lots and lots of men-men and women-women kissing, close dancing these days!YEAH, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!😉
Based.
and the hateful online comments, the pervy dms ... the unsolicited d pics.. the abuse we get when we say no to someone. when we see how men really are we just stay away from them. isnt that only natural ? why would we engage with most guys since they are so full of hate and unaccomplished sexual desires. a certain type of guy is going to be chronically unhappy no matter what because they didnt find their place in the world.
I haven't bothered trying to date for years now. It just feels like an unnecessary chore. People are so unreliable and the uncertainty and trauma from trying to connect with unreliable people makes the risk not worth it. Especially for those of us who tend to over-invest in everything. I suspect many people including myself get enough interpersonal connection via work, friends and the internet to satisfy that general need.
@@croissants1280 no. I'm not the horniest person around so that probably also helps. I'm a female btw, for context. I know I'm not the target demo for this video but it resonates with me
@@croissants1280 Please. Fleshlights exist.
I know de feeling of having enough connection but still feel like I'm missing something.
This. MANY "people" (ie whamin) are perfidious, selfish, lost f00ls. They are self-destructive and aimless. You cause your own suffering when you deal with those types---and they are LEGION.
@@ooooooooppps it popped up on my feed. So I watched it. Is that okay with you?
“Worry about the divorce down the line.” That’s good advice .😂
This is the main reason for Marriage decline. We saw what are wicked cold hearted mothers did to our fathers in court. And now we are that age we would rather jump off a cliff than get married. End no fault divorce, automatic paternity testing upon birth, fix the family courts to not immediately rule in favor of the woman, and how about tax credits for being married, buying land or homes.
@@JRock3091 Well said. Having seen my mother drag my father through the divorce courts followed by both my sisters doing the same thing multiple times to ex-husbands, why the hell would I willingly expose myself to the same treatment. It's been said before; the problem isn't that a woman WILL do this, the problem is that they CAN!
more like suicide they arent getting laid or married to begin with
@JRock3091 I love both my parents but my mom did the same to my father , long after were over the age of 18 , my mother went after my dad for child support in court , and almost nailed him to the coffin , I held a lot of resentment for my mom for a long time for that, especially since it was years after me and my brother , were adults and no longer living with her , she never had a thought about it until someone brought it up to her . Marriage for men is such a massive gamble I'm not willing to take that chance to have some woman nail my ass to the wall if im not good enough for her.
There is no way I will ever be convinced that online dating is nothing more than desperate people flipping thru a catalogue of product. That is not human. It's a livestock auction.
most of human history had no dating. marriage was a business contract and matchmakers arranged things.
@@genmaicha.lapsang All kinds of things happened in history. We've moved on for better and for worse. Today, right now and this very minute I declare livestock. I hope this also goes down in history.
Online dating is for borderline desperate men, and for women who are bored/boring.
To be honest, I only use tinder and similar products when on business trips/visiting parents or friends. No way I will spend half my time in some bar with awful music. It pans out like 1 time out of 3, but I don't sweat it - it's an unnecessary treat, a bonus to an already quite balanced and cheerful life. As to the people who actually see these apps as a lifeline to deep long-lasting relationships - can't feel nothing but sorrow for them, it's not the way to live, especially given how aware the app creators are about their target audience's desperation.
@@sergeymyasnikov736 I hope your explanation makes perfect sense to you. I don't feel good about using other humans as a treat even if they're willing to be used as such. We all have different standards and ways of thinking about the more intimate aspects of life. I guess that's to be expected from the human race. One of my biggest fears is to get hooked up with somebody who feels the need to hide their past, such as somebody who might have used other humans as a treat. I think most people who use dating apps would fall into that category.
hoesntly as a young 30 year old, keeping to myself has been more rewarding in modern society than bothering with the instability of a relationship. sure it can get a bit hollow at times, but i put this down to a spiritual problem more than a partner problem.
Hoesntly or honestly? Or kind of a Freudian slip? Or, all 3?? 🤔😆
Disregard heauxs, acquire wealth.
especially when you factor in the legal risk of a partner in divorce, not every girl would but every girl could
I'm 45. I'm married 18 years. But your guest glossed over so many points, especially hookup culture and how many women who are a 5 will step over a man who's a 7 just to have a chance with an 8 on these apps. This isn't some PEW research crap either, this is direct from my daughter, neices, nephews ,friends kids. All between 17 and 23. You can site all the papers you want but as a father and Uncle I know this is disingenuous data reading.
I agree 100%, i have a long distance relationship with a Filipina and i actually like having space and time by myself.
If some girl told me that they are single because no one has been good enough that is the que to immediately check out and make sure you never run into them again
Sounds like you're afraid of failure 😂
@@terrorists-are-among-us if they claim no one is good enough that's an indicator that they would be very likely to keep trying to find someone else. It's not about failure it's about not wasting the effort on them.
@@terrorists-are-among-us lol wtf, this is no different than women who say "teehee, you must be intimidated" when a guy is like "you're not a likeable person, I'm not interested".
@@wades623 more like, waste time on you 😂🤡
@@0rnery0verwatch "I need a desperate girl or I have no chance" 😂
The lack of sex is down to the internet, back in the day women dated only the people they physically met, in work, friends of friends etc now they're virtually shopping online and have less of a need to notice or interact with the men around them while men watch porn and if they're ejaculating all the time they also have no interest in the women around them
I have no interest in the women around me because they're sub-standard.
Women will always be more attracted to the men they actually talk to on a regular basis than some picture of a guy on dating apps. It's mostly promiscuous women who like dating apps. They give them the opportunity to sleep with men who would never give these women the time of day if they met them in person. That's the harsh truth of it.
You know I didn't really even think about the online shopping aspect of this dynamic. That's a great observation!
They only find 5-10 % of man attractive on tinder so a few are sleeping with all
@@frankriquelme4623 damn those handsome bastards
For men dating it's like applying for a job with 1-2 dozen applicants, for women it's like online shopping.
Exactly.... But us for women shopping on line with unlimited credit or even bonus of every guy they catch 😛
There's nothing worth buying
Yeah but marrige is a bit moore even.
Not saying it is easy, but most girls dreams about marriage and guys not soo much.
@@wyleecoyotee4252because you keep picking chads that do nothing but pump and dump
Sure, there's tons of merchandise online, but 99.9% of it isn't what we need. Like Alanis Morrisette said: *_"It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife."_*
So much humility in the approach from both of these men. Cheers, gents.
On the topic of men not wanting to come across as creepy, this also comes from guys knowing that simply giving a woman attention she doesn't want can be enough to creep her out. I've been out to nightclubs with friends and had some 50 year old woman trying to grind against me. Receiving unwanted attention is weird and can be really creepy. A lot of guys would hate to know that they made a woman feel creeped out or grossed out so a lot just don't even bother
I agree, men could be struggling with approaching women in a day and age where women do not owe them anything. I think dating clubs, cafes and lounges are a great idea. Here in my city there's a rising number of places that are intended for single people to go and find other single people. It's different because you're meant to go completely alone. The whole purpose of the place is meeting new people and they actually do fun activities that help people break the ice. Maybe if we create spaces specifically designed for approaching the other sex, women would feel safer because they know what they are going for. Not to say there cannot be creepy behavior, men would also have to learn how to approach better.
@@danielyouth i love how it's men that have to do better, and not women. ( women in a day and age where women do not owe them anything) - Women believe they don't owe men anything, but they believe men owe them money (paying for the dates) for their time. It isn't worth it, if women aren't going to step up and actually offer something, men are not going to commit to you.
Your comment is only addressing one side of the issue for women but you have mentioned absolutely nothing to help solve the issue for men. Men are actively staying single, they aren't having kids and they aren't marrying. They are putting in zero effort because the juice is not worth the squeeze.
@@jayc342009 I agree with you that men shouldn't have to pay for the first date. That's why I think we should get rid of the idea of men as the "providers". Both men a women can provide, don't you think so?
@@danielyouth most couples do require 2 incomes yes, but a lot of women do still require men to pay for the dates and make more income than they do.
@@jayc342009 I mean, I'm not debating the fact that a majority or a significant amount of women expect the man to pay for dinner and make more money than them. My point is that such expectations are related to an out-dated idea of gender roles that we should get rid of. What do you think?
I have been married for over thirty years. My wife and I have a wonderful relationship. I cannot imagine dating today. For guys, it is like dancing in a minefield.
You didn't spend your boyhood and young years in front of a screen playing videogames or watching p-r-n, becoming socially awkward and unhealthy like they do these days and I bet you rose to the challenges and responsibilities of marriage like a true man.
What’s your advice for single people who want to get married & do it right?
@@beac8238 go to church.🔥💯
@@Autonomous15 why would I get advice from single people when my intention is to have a wonderful marriage?
Congrats. Most if not all married men i know are miserable beyond belief.
"as long as you're not violating any major social norms, it's ok to approach"
But actually approaching has BECOME a major social norm violation
I think a lot of people feel this
just go full mgtow monk.
@@ayanned MGTOW IS CREEPY.. THEY CHANGED IT TO INCEL BECAUSE THEY JUST CANT LEAVE US ALONE.. I HEAR GIRLS TALKING LIKE 5 FEET AWAY AND THEY ARE LITERALLY ALWAYS PUTTING YOU DOWN.. THEY LITERALLY CANNOT STOP TALKING AND THEYRE ALWAYS SAYING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT SOMEONE.. GIRLS ARE WEIRD DUDE.. THEYLL SAY THINGS LIKE UM YOURE GETTING TOO CLOSE THERE.. ITS ALWAYS SHAME..
sucks for the people who think its a violation
Yeah. People under 25 don't date in any other way except apps.
26:35 the "boss babe" types getting confused and/or angry that after achieving financial and career success men don't find them particularly attractive are the female equivalent to male "nice guys". Both followed the advice society/culture gave them about what their potential future partners wanted. Both are upset they aren't receiving their due relationships after becoming what they thought they were supposed to become. Both have a hard time swallowing that they wasted their time modeling a mode of being that was ultimately distasteful to the opposite sex. Both are often indignant that the opposite sex doesn't find them attractive and often externalize the issue by indicating the real problem is with members of the opposite sex for not finding them attractive. The characters are different but the story beats are all the same.
So do I. Career women are "insins" (Involuntarily Single).
Women aren’t successful to impress men. They do it for themselves. This is just an unfortunate side effect.
No woman picks a career with a man in mind lol she needs to eat and pay bills. Women don’t live their lives for men like men live their lives for women
Career women don't get degrees for men. How many times do you have to be told that? They have their lives to build and bills to pay. And these days the number if women uninterested in being with someone has increased. There are only 15% of women using dating apps.
@@Yomel123 & @Nightwish You're not wrong, but categorically speaking a women with a typical 4 year degree and a typical job who just needs to get the bills paid wouldn't be the kind of woman I was talking about. I didn't say "all working women" or "all women with degrees" - more so those who, for whatever reason, go above-and-beyond the norm in focusing on their education and/or career - hence "boss babes". I also didn't say women get degrees or focus on their careers with men in mind. You're right, that would be silly because at some point surely most would realize along the way if all they wanted was a family grinding in education/career wouldn't be the best way to achieve that. I'm sure few if any career focused women are actively thinking "all the guys are gonna go nuts for me once I've made VP". It's more the post-hoc thought of "well I've accomplished something, that should count for something" which in terms of status it does - the main point here is that social status is factually not attractive to men like it is to women. Those who didn't already know that explicitly figure it out when they enter the dating market, I was pointing out that in my observation the grievances they then have seem to rhyme with the ones you hear from "nice guys".
22:30 yes, i can give an example of that. At work, this guy asked a girl out and she basically mobilized all their common friends against him labeling him as a stalker. Dude was isolated and had to change teams (came to mine) and still its observable how the group around her still controls him and whatever he does because their perception of him changed due to gossip. Trying to date at work its very risky and men are backing out of it. Now for people who dont use online dating and are not that much into social media, their dating market decreases exponentially if we nornalize the idea that asking someone out at work is creepy behavior.
People are broken because everyone believes wahmen
That's horrible. Such a scenario is a giant fear for many people. W0men are conditioned to say no to interaction that they haven't initiated, even if it's something that they want.
after breaking up with a coworker things got very awkward and my personal business was told to anyone who would listen to her. It destroyed every positive relationship I had made in that job
Well, you described the situation very briefly, so it is difficult to comment on it.
1. This is your (his) version. You weren't there when he asked her out, so you can't know what actually happened and what preceded the whole situation.
2. For objectivity, it would be quite useful to know her version as well.
3. Such personal things are always quite complicated, so finding an objective value is difficult even for professionals because a lot of information is based on feelings, not facts.
4. Personally, I'm not a fan of workplace dating, even though it might seem like a natural thing to do.
Every relationship has its ups and downs and sometimes it falls apart. And these things are contagious - boosts lift the whole team's workplace with that typical enthusiastic energy, and it usually helps; teams are more productive, the atmosphere is more cheerful, (sometimes too much, lol), etc.
But when the falls happen, OMG, run who can; it lowers the atmosphere in the whole workplace, so who needs that...
That's why many companies have a policy (more or less strict) that solves these problems in some way and I'm not surprised.
@@xpsxps1339 1. Only the two of them were there, so yeah no one knows for sure.
2. What i can say is that the guy has always been respectful towards anyone in the company and never tried to bring the situation up or mobilize anyone against her. She, on the other hand mobilized a group of people against him and they all went spreading gossip around the company. I think this kind of shows each others natures.
4. What i can say is that HR interveened and she was relocated to another team and the guy is doing the exact same thing. Id speculate and say they cut the serpents head from the group to send a message. Even though they continue controlling him daily. Example: guy goes on a break, one of them goes immediately after. He goes for lunch, a group of them goes after and sits close to laugh out loud and stuff like that. The woman goes outside smoking and just a couple of minutes later their group goes after (putting an interval between to see if he goes after her). They've been asking people from my team (me included) to go the breaks right in front of him even though they never did in the past. These are clear provocatory and intimidatory tactics and i wonder how cornered he must feel. If he deserves it or not i cant tell, but im judging based on what ive seen. Its also quite clear they were never interested in listening to his side either.
5. Me neither and even less after i saw this.
Love that this guy's intro is so chill and keeps it real
He has a lot of outdated and completely wrong information. Sure he is chill, but he is out of touch with reality. He is operating on what it was like about 20 years ago.
What specifically is out of date? Not doubting you, just need clarification
@Thump Er the Sweaty Fat Guy where can i find this new research 🤔
@@burgertime434 nearly everything he says. He is a graduate student, which means the info on which he is basing his opinions is older than the classes he just finished taking.
To put it in a mechanical analogy lets say you go to school to be a mechanic. While you are doing your four year grind the technology of cars advances. Currently there is a fast change going on, so the cars you work on in school are ten to fifteen years old, and share almost no technology with what is sitting on a dealer's lot.
The newest thing he is asserting is what was happening back around 2016. He actually cites a study from 2001, which is the only one he puts a date on.
The dynamics of interpersonal intimate relationships is changing rapidly right now. The trends that were starting to appear 20 years ago are growing exponentially now. It used to be that the ladies went for the top 20% of men, but now they want the top 1% of men. The tallest, best looking, and wealthiest. Everyone else is invisible or unattractive to them.
Most of us are not afraid of being seen as creepy, we are afraid of the one we talk to either calling the legal system on us, or using society to bash us in the head. You can lose your job for saying hello now. He glosses right past that and misses the point entirely.
I've been watching all of this play out since I took the time to learn how to read females back in 1985 by watching the girl who was on a date with me, drop me and go for a friend of mine. Only for her to come back a couple months later after her ONS with him. She wasn't the kind of girl you keep around long term, so I she made a very good subject to study. I started watching and learning about people and have gotten quite adept at it.
I am in the top 20% of men, not because I am tall or wealthy, its a dominance and muscle thing, as well as they are not a priority for me, which makes them attracted to me. being the 19th or 20 percentile gives me an interesting perspective, because I can see what works, what doesn't and being able to read who she is into and what draws her to various men means I can make some conclusions about the dynamics over the years.
In the US military I saw all of this play out 30 years ago on overseas bases. I am seeing the same patterns now in the civilian world, and I know where it goes. The majority of men stop interacting with them. All of us who were under 6' tall stopped interacting with military females, we went off base to have fun with them.
Its a microcosm of human nature at work on a military base, particularly if you want to see the dynamics of females who are showered with attention and validation because there is about 300 of them on base and roughly 6000 men. They get so much attention that they start to think they are incredibly attractive, rather than they are simply available, and the only ones available that speak the same language.
Online dating and social media has achieved the overseas base effect. Girls can get attention and validation, no matter what they look like, from millions of men all over the world.
That dude will catch up to this effect in about 20 years, but it will still be couched in left ist thought which is rooted in female nature and of course sees females as the best rather than actually human like everyone else.
You regurgitate the red pill quite well. Sad.
So its NOT just me?! Well that's kind of a relief I'm not gonna lie lmao. But at very least I'm grown male focused on creating my best possible version with big goals and dating is not top of priorities right now. Interesting times we live in people.
Clinical times
@@JeffCaplan313 *end of times
I thought the same. I thought there was something wrong with me after starting over in dating 7 years ago. This online dating crap was making me depressed… so i got rid of all dating apps, learned about intersexual dynamics with Rollo Tomassi’s books and others, and figured out why women are the way they are, what they are into in general and how men could become better men. Now i date from time to time but women are no longer the focus of my life.
Amen brother. Rough time. 8 years depressed and anxious, eeking Orthodox Christianity which has helped, but right now I'd say try to become your own man. Be goal driven, find your dream and try to execute that dream. Kill self pleasure in ourselves. Find discipline, even spiritual discipline is very very important. Whenever my life is in chaos or I'm just too depressed to do anything, I simply get on my computer and try to produce music. I always say, if nothing happens today, I at least want to write a tune. Ill look back and have fond memories instead of regret. Most devastating feeling is regret. Something I'm desperately trying to avoid. It sucks not being able to find traditional quality women that will UNDERSTAND that men have feelings too.
If you want the benefits of dating, we have to level up.
The dating world is so strange and twisted. The idea of ever having to date again terrifies me. Everybody out here playing games instead of being genuine and seeing where it goes without judging or prejudice.
Go to Thailand and try again😎
Chris, you are so effortlessly smart, and you might be my favourite podcast host, ever! You just effortlessly hold your own with your guest without being over the top and letting them speak and express their own as well. Well done man!
This is the single best episode you've ever done on Modern Wisdom Podcast. Thank you. Going to share to this almost everyone I know.
The idea of "wait until you get divorced and railed by the family court system BEFORE you guard yourself against it" makes no sense. That was a weird turn there in the middle of this discussion. Why get insurance until AFTER you get in a wreck? Bloody hell.
By that logic you should never use the advice of anyone more experienced than you with anything.
@naturalaquatreasures can you elaborate?
OMG, THIS conversation is good!!! Thank you for having this.
At the end it is mentioned that when you are 18 you should not be worried that you might lose your house….because you do not own anything.
Just a minute later they discuss that the environment/relatives might impact you…e.g. if your parents were divorced you are more likely to get divorced.
Is this fear in young people natural result of growing up with high number of parents going through a divorce?
Have we traumatised our younger generation (especially guys seeing impact on fathers) ????
I would personally say the number one reason I don't date was my mother. So, I think it is a reality. I don't know how widespread it is, though and I'm not 18 anymore.
My parents divorce made me think I would never marry as a teen. My parents but especially my mom were always screaming at one another and us if we crossed their path, they seemed to h a t e family life and it was an utterly miserable childhood. When I moved out and went to university I was so depressed I ended up needing a psychiatrist and meds to function. Eventually I worked out my mental health and then I met my husband spring break of my freshman year. I was afraid still but I took the leap because I fell in love. Our relationship looks nothing like my parents and even 13 years later, we don't fight and scream and are still very much in love.
I think my parents relationship taught me what not to do. I know for instance that a femnist mindset in a marriage is doom. To respect my husband, and I believe that if you disrespect you lose respect. Also that someone has to lead, and because I don't want to, that means I have to follow. Otherwise we'll always be butting heads over decisions like my parents did. I learned to spend money wisely (another thing my parents fought about was my mother's bad spending habits). To swallow your pride and apologize. I could go on but you get the picture I think. I know the statistics aren't good on people from divorced parents but because of how my parents divorce impacted me I am determined to NEVER divorce and my husband feels the same way. We will do everything to keep our relationship healthy and so far it's working for us.
@@TheManWithNoName6 Can you tone it down? I actually found this post quite interesting (as a man) and I don't think this mgtow mindset is very healthy. It's basically the same thing like with feminists. And, hey, believe me, I've been there thinking about a world without women but men have their issues too, as every DOTA lobby proves.
I chose not to get married when why parents' marriage was still intact. I saw no incentive to get married because most of my friends had divorced parents.
I saw no point in loading 3 rounds and playing Russian roulette.
My ex husband comes from a broken family, where father was too selfish so my ex’s mother left him.
We married while he thought he wanted a family, but some years after he started craving for single life again, thinking he’s not made to be a father, and is not even sure he wants kids.
I thought it was me, but it might just be him. He is a man who has not learned how to be a proper family man.
Physical attraction and Status are Priority #1 when it comes to even get women interested
Competency and connection for the win every time.
You anyone men or women wants to have sex with someone they are not physically attracted to?
@@SamStone1964 To have a chance to build the connection you need to be attractive in somehow.
@@Portugal.history Yes attracted to each other.
True. Hence why I procreated and created my family with an European man. He fit my wants in a partner. He was/is an intelligent and successful financially and extremely attractive(my Dad said you had to think about your offspring's looks).
I'm in my 60s and have been single for the last 10 years and have never felt better.. in fact I love being single . I have 2 other single friends that are lonely and depressed about being single but then again I have many friends that are married and also lonely which is even worse ..
There is a simple way for men to approach women without being creepy: Become a mind reader to know if she finds you attractive.
OMG! Why did I never think of this?!
Literal genius. And as we all know, telepathy is something extremely easy and quick to learn. Why didn't I think of that? *smacks forehead* D'oy!
femaIe Iogic.
Ngl imo, if a women likes you, she’ll make it quite obvious that she does
@@ERROROVER9K if men went by women's vague choosing signals only, the human race would literally go extinct.
Finding love and making a family seems impossible at least for me. Everyone makes it seem so easy,but it feels like I wasn't meant to have this despite thinking about it alot. My future is uncertain right now.
Most people are unqualified to have kids. Only some of them know it.
Have faith. there is always hope
Honestly. Let go of the idea. I was also battling these thoughts, but I realised not all people will get a children anyways and that's OK. There's also alot of people who get children but shouldn't get them. Dont torment yourself that you lack something in life.
Get your passport and travel to South America. Dating is still easy and girls are more traditional. Your chances of finding a mate is 99.9 % in Latin countries. Most Latin women in all social classes are raised in a traditional ways. There is no playing mind games and approaching is a lot easier. The more you know about the culture in said country the more changes you have to meet Latin girls. Happy Hunting!!!
Stop crying! Get some money! Work out! Get your looks up! If you have a little dingy go to the doctor and get a pee pee extension. GO!
Love your podcast, agree with all your points. Gotta make a small correction though, Melinda gates started at Microsoft in product development as a marketing manager, not as a receptionist.
I really appreciate you having datepych on! He brings a different perspective imo
Not really, this channel is almost exclusively a circlejerk with very few new ideas or disagreement
@@__-bz7wh then why are you here? 🤦🏽♀️
The best podcast Ive heard in a while. Very timely are important information. Cuts through a bunch of hateful information in our culture.
It's so great actually seeing men speaking about these things seriously, and addressing these very real issues.
I'm good with words and approach in person or online and know myself well . What I have experienced with dating over the last 5 years as a 50+ single guy is a joke. I'm so tired of it. And I was relationship for 30 years, so I know what deep communication is. I really feel for the younger guys and have no suggestions.
One advice: Pattaya, if 1000B doesn't solve your problem 1500B almost certainly will
Yeah. Go abroad and "geomaxx". That's the best suggestion I can give if the man can stomach living in a 3rd-world country where they speak a different language
After a certain age you become invisible to women. Almost have to go abroad for a chance these days
@@muzungu9625 Other countries should have this too
16 years ago I could get an online date. Nowadays, I can only get one in person. Tinder, Facebook, screwed the game up! Tho, today, I can get more _poon for my buck_ if I approach a lot of chicks my age.
So cool you got Littlefinger on your podcast way to go!
Chaos is a ladder
Knowledge is power!
People are busy, people are feeling ugly, people are broke, people are insecure, and people are pessimistic because it feels like everything is going wrong
When people aren't doing well or as well as they would want to in their own personal lives, they are less likely to get involved in the personal lives of others.
Wholeheartedly agree. Why play a rigged game.
Thanks for the great content, fella. It's got me down a whole bunch of rabbit holes, especially the evolutionary biology stuff. Also, it's got me a massive list of books to get through, which is never a bad thing! Keep on truckin', Chris!
You're not just dating the person anymore, it's the whole friend group, and follower count you're competing against.
And the "friend" group is just a bunch of rotten, envious trolls who cannot stand to see their "friend" happy with a man. They will poison her mind constantly with "He's not really very tall" or "He said THAT!?!?" over any little thing. They want to destroy each others' joy. They're literally wicked people.
@@Willie_Wahzoo nail on the head. Zero support for a relationship to last. It's always to tear it apart. Been in 3 different 6 year relationship's. Married the first two. Im guilty in my own rights, I wonder if a sandwich was all we really needed.
@@dragonrider9051 sandwiches are cheaper than ever thanks to all this female labor.
basically it's impossible to have sex if you don't meet certain criteria. but at the same time you are surrounded with sexual messages. sex is everywhere... everywhere but in real life, for many. and the funnyest part is, that if you are a virgin, you are saw as a weirdo, at best, and a dangerous hating monster at worst. and it's not your fault, but it is at the same time. so you keep it for yourself, hyding your pain. and you do everything you can to hyde it. and it gets worse every time.
Meanwhile, it seems every woman over the age of 22 has a body count of over 20, making it all even worse. I feel you.
Yeah, no car and your out for a lot of people. I accept people have prioritized assets over personhood, but it shows in people's personalities. It repulses me, and my mentality disgusts others. The divide.
“It’s not your fault but it is your fault.” Doesn’t even make any sense.
Don't focus on how much bad luck you've had with women so far. Commit to personal goals, find a job you like, go to the gym get in shape, go buy a decent wardrobe and take care of your hygiene and discipline. You will certainly find a woman you like and this time she will want you
Incel here, it's brutal man. I've tried online dating apps and got literally zero matches. I'll do anywhere from 1-10 cold approaches throughout the week and have very little success, most women seem uncomfortable when I try to talk to them. I don't really have any friends and the few that I do have don't have female friends who are single either. I've tried night game at clubs/bars and most women I've encountered just want a free drink or they'll have a female friend drag her away from me.
I try and put myself out there, but man I'm running out of ideas how dating is possible for someone like me.
Approach but be mostly friendly at first, then progressively flirtatious, don't overwhelm the women.
Are you doing all the usual stuff like gym, hygiene, dressing well? How old are you?
You say you don't have a friend group either. That's alarming. I think perhaps concentrate on making friends and having a social circle of friends and activities
It gets much easier later in life when the women outnumber the men. You should try older women.
@@Steve-mk6rq they only outnumber them from about 60 y.o.
(just my own experience) I was asking women around me (mostly married, 40sh, feminists) what situations they consider “appropriate” way to approach a women. my question was exactly if street, bars, gym, workplace, school etc all off limit, what is ok? unanimously they answered online dating…
I won’t go back to that till I’m
In the best shape of my life. I had a bit of success 6-7 years ago but it was pretty exhausting too lots of weird women.
Perhaps asking the women how they met their husbands would have yielded more interesting insights?
@@AmeliaBodilia 10+ years ago? how would it be relevant? also, does it matter if they preach something else in loud voice?
It seems like everyone ignores each other. People flirt these days, but we're all so nervous, we don't take it to the next level. Then it gets cold, and it's back to square one where the cycle of lonely repeats.
This makes me feel perso nally attacked... 😂
Great conversation! I think it's hard for (young) men to do the right step while dating or even meeting someone. It always feels like a lose-lose situation for them. Modern ideology destroys human nature and leaves everyone behind, confused and lonely.
Having Joey Swoll on your channel would be awesome.
I think the problem is the vast vast majority of women are never single nowadays
It really does just feel like a lose/lose situation.
Women won't approach you, but you're creepy and gross for approaching women.
And literally every time this is brought up, the response is 'don't be creepy', as though that definition changes entirely depending on how a woman is feeling at the time.
I think it's great that younger people are not drinking. Putting their health first is a great idea. And it's a waste of money and has no benefit to the human body.
I was thinking the same thing, "are you glorifying the drinking 90's?". The aspect of social media that people get to know each other at a strictly platonic level first is helpful. Although the thought that all your conversations are online and there is a forever history of everything , maybe not so much.
The problem is is that it is emblematic of them not taking risks. If you don’t take risks in life you will end up a broke loser with no women.
It has more to do with money than health! Drinking a lot of booze costs a small fortune!
The most fascinating MW interview I've listened to. Also i love how Alex is colour co-ordinated with his Christmas Tree.
Watching this dude, I can't help but think he's trying to make a deal with me. Anyone else get the same feeling?
He's a great fiddle player, which makes me trust him and his contracts implicitly.
@@namenamington 😂
He has some interesting art for sale
The GOAT
Dude, I felt the same thing. Like this is gentle encouragement.
You guys did so good this episode! Showed some good perspectives and great points! I hope ppl watch this with an open mind and won’t be so quick to say something before they can try to understand. It’s unfortunate to regularly see complainers on your comment section for any video.
Are chads getting the majority of women on dating apps? The answer is yes. My friend is a chad, and women throw themselves at him every day. He goes on dates every weekend. EVERY weekend. It's gotten to a point where his phone is starting to stress him out
Bro this guy is full of bs.
I think the dude was cherry picking bad stats.
The pew research data doesn't take into consideration the quality or really duration of the relationship. It was one of my biggest issues.
70% of people in relationships what does that mean? How many of those are marriages? How many of those are between 1-12 months old?
There is a large difference between 70% of people being marriages for 5 years on average compared to dating for 6 months.
What is a chad?
@@reginasemenenko148 A really good-looking guy. It's the modern term for a "hunk" or a "stud".
@@reginasemenenko148 A good looking White guy. Tyrone is a good looking black guy.
Melinda Gates was never a receptionist at MS, she was hired as a product manager (computer science degree and MBA). The 'take the afternoon off' line never happened.
The work avenue has already been cut off completely. When you criminalize (legally or by company policy) getting rejected, no man is going to take the risk of even appearing to be interested in a woman at work. The entire sexual harassment idea has been so overblown it's actually ridiculous. A man could ask a woman out one time, get rejected, and never speak of it again and still get accused of creating a hostile environment for her. And the accusation is enough, there needs to be no proof or motive, as long as the "victim" feels victimized, you are guilty.
A hypothesis or has this happened to you ?
@@CJ-ft9yo yes, actually happens. Company policy stated that if the victim feels they are harassed, then that is what happened. There needs to be no motive, intention, corroboration, or proof. You are guilty simply because the accusation was made.
@@kevin9218 that’s just bad policy based on a guilty before innocent mindset.
@@CJ-ft9yo yeah. I told them that too.
@@CJ-ft9yo Well, corporations are extraordinarily risk averse, they will absolute fire you if there is a chance you will bring them trouble. If you complain or sue, they will just point to their policy that you agreed to.
i just cant even keep up with all these amazing podcasts i want to watch/listen to.
clearly, yours are on the top of the list. but you've also been a guest on other podcasts, which i also tend to give a listen. and sometimes even follow them as well if i find them interesting.
dont get me wrong, i aint complaining. its amazing. keep up the absolutely brilliant work.
@@croissants1280 thats an unnecessarily agressive thing to say lol. how do you think i know it for a fact exactly? because me and my friends have run the experiment i mentioned countless times over the years.
geez, if anyone needs to go outside its you XD
@@migah139 that's an unnecessarily aggressive thing to say. It is possible he has a point, it is important to be open to all sides in a debate so you don't come across as arrogant. Love.
This is true. I have a friend who women gush over. He's a funny, extremely attractive guy and gets a pass for being very filthy. Many of these women are "taken". They love it when he flirts. Anybody else would get a restraining order. I think it's funny to watch the mental gymnastics.
Yea and try the same thing with pamela anderson and a fat girl.
Your rambling post said about as much as the sky is blue. Stop crying about the competition and get to work or shut up.
@@chickenbroski99 the sky IS blue. correct. thanks for telling me what i said was obvious! ;)
didnt complain about the competition. i explained why the creepy factors didnt add up. if you spent half the time reading that you do being toxic on the internet, that likely wouldnt have slipped by you
It's worth noting that although many using apps want relationships, many of those tend to find apps not helpful in accomplishing this. Especially on Tinder. I don't remember all the datapoints, but essentially the conclusion is that those who get on them to find relationships often tend to quit after realizing that apps aren't really conducive to achieving this goal. Those who stay on them long term are using them for more for casual hookups.
Also, there is a correlation between warm approaches creating more lasting relationships than cold approaches, and this is true regardless of the medium. Cold approaches include online dating and approaching a stranger offline, vs meeting through a friend on or offline. This is generally considered to be the case because with cold approaches we tend to eliminate people based on shallow things like looks more than we do when meeting through friends, where we get to know the person before writing them off, often because initially we may not be looking at them as a romantic possibility.
I was at a bar and smiling while watching the game. The female bartender was
acting very uncomfortable and asked me what I was smiling about and she knew what I was doing, she said, stop it now. Are you uncomfortable because I'm feeling happy? You need to check yourself.😅😮😂
You'd assume most behaviour would be water off a duck's back for her. Unless it was aggressive or physical. That's bizarre.
I believe you encountered a nutjob.
Next time tell the bar owner to fire her or you’ll call every city number and report his business for selling to underage people.
Quickest way for their liquor license to be reviewed. They will not want any of that.
@@blahblah2779 No, don't be dishonest.
Next time tell her not to flatter herself
Thank you both for the very insightful interview!
Awesome interview, helps a lot.
I'm constantly curious how you don't have more followers. Always having wonderful guests.
Thank you
Oh, they will come. Like me, for example, I've only just now discovered Chris Williams. In a year or two, he'll be around 2 million subs I believe
Yay, you made it on Alex, congratulations!! 🥳 Can’t wait to give this a watch after work ☺️
This guy is pretty spot on. Interesting to hear him draw the correlation between alcohol consumption and sexual activity. I’ve been saying for a long time that drinking is an integral part of the human mating ritual.
I love how alcohol makes woman more attractive!
@@allangilbert5865 yes. That’s definitely part of it. I imagine women get beer goggles too. I think one of the other aspects is it breaks down our inhibitions and gives men the confidence to approach women and make sexual advances without being awkwardly self conscious about it.
Alcohol was created to allow ugly women to get laid. 😂
@@darrenstettner5381 I can be falling down drunk and still be self conscious and awkward about approaching.
It also makes you hot topic on social media, with your drunk pictures being taken by someone.
The only happy couple I've ever seen in my fifty years of life were my parents (and grandparents). I see no other happily married people, even amongst my parents siblings.
I didn't even see that. Even my grandparents sort of just co-existed and while it wasn't a trainwreck of a marriage or anything like that, it also wasn't a happy one.
@@HenrySomeone Bingo someone else finally seen it & said it. I find most people seem to think relationships were so much better in our parents, grandparents, maybe even our great grandparents day. This belief is not true. There was still unhappy people way back in the day. We are finding people are not opting for getting with someone out of need whether it be financial, maybe forced due to having sex out of marriage or worse, need to have a house maker, child raiser, etc. The list of reasons that were some what valid back in the 1970s & earlier. An older gentleman (86) I knew well said his granddad married about 3 times when his wives died due to child birth. He did not learn that having sex obviously gave him more children to support & each birth was a risk even in the yearly part of the 1900s. The women got younger while he got older until he could not find anyone to marry him then tried to get his daughter to fill that job. My friends mother ran away and married his dad & they had 10 kids. ugh
I believe a good chunk of men are weighing the risk of having a potentially good date vs potentially getting falsely accused of something that would ruin the rest of their lives and opting out of the dating pool as a result
Just stay away from feminists and you'll be ok
Its sad because women are terrified of men physically harming them when most men will never hurt anyone. And men are becoming terrified of women ruining their lives with accusations or what have you when most women would never do that. There's a disconnect and we really need to fix it at some point
This was an excellent interview. Thanks for sharing.
Props to Chris for ending it where he did. It felt like Alex just dropped the mic and walked away like a boss
He's a very small content creator but I've been following Alex for a long time. He BTFOs a whole lot of the bad red pill advice/perspectives. I'm glad you gave him a platform/exposure.
I like that CRT TV in the background, in classic 1990ies furniture. Not seen that for a while.
The only quality dates I get with quality, attractive women are from me approaching them in public. It sounds scary, but it's really not. And it's never creepy for taking your shot.
What's creepy is when you keep staring at a woman and never approach. What's creepy is when you're turning the conversation sexual within a minute. You'll build confidence and social skills by talking to women. When you begin feeling confident about yourself your body language will make someone feel comfortable, and what you're saying and feeling gets translated into a positive and authentic vibe.
I can't do dating apps man. I don't take good pictures, I hate hitting on women over a text, I just feel like I'm trying to sell myself. It's just not for me. I prefer to connect with someone or get rejected to my face. That feeling of rejection sucks temporarily, but you learn to overcome it and you grow stronger from it.
If you have a positive mindset, rejection and failure in life only pushes you to go further, to change your reality. Any great person will have a story of rejections and failures. And dating is no exception to this rule, it applies the same.
However if you have a negative mindset, rejection and failure will only play into your mental narrative of "yup see I told you so, I knew this would happen". The first step is to change your mindset, nothing else can change until you do that first.
Underrated comment. Thank you, sir. You're a gem.
W comment
💯
You need to start coaching the red pilled incels.
A comment that makes us men proud.
You, sir, deserve this 👏👏👏🏆
I’m 18 and have accepted my fate so now I’m just focusing on lifting weight doing good in college and finding a job after.
Get muscles and money, these women don’t like you as much as you like them. If you meet someone special while you’re working on your life in early ages, great. Happened to me once in college. But just work and stay focused. Cultivate power within yourself.
You are primarily responsible for your fate. Trust me so many people I know who were "popular" at 18 turned out to be duds and many who were nothings ended up killing it in every aspect of life. Believe and invest in yourself.
18? 🤦🏽♀️ You should be checking out 45-50! You’re just a baby
@@Nah-ah Not even then..
@@Nah-ah why should he waste his time on women?
Dating, Relationships and Marriage are absolute scams for men.
Great words exchanged here!
Just a note, Melinda was not a receptionist. She was a program manager, I believe.
She was a dog
Product manager. I was curious so I looked it up.
I haven't had sex in years. I can't say I'm totally cool with it but compared to the shitshow that I went through before having undiagnosed ADHD and high functioning autism, the trade off is worth it.
I have those also and it makes relationships very hard and it isn't worth it for me in the end. Being a women I am considered a witch for not wanting sex and relationships and having some insight and self awareness . If a women decided this she is depriving men of sex but if a guy makes this decision he will be praised.
Same. I'm a woman haven't had sex in years.
Same. Wish things were different, but I just dont have the tools for this crap.
@@clauaome25 Jokes on you, I am a man and I never had sex.
I've been watching multiple videos of this channel and what seems to be agreed by many guest speakers is that online dating/internet is a huge problem.
Last time I tried it five years ago I had three dates in 2 years all one and done except for one I saw twice…..it was exhausting the same thing I noted 7 years ago when I first tried it
I approach women and I’d say 50/50 would say yes. Out of that half would land into a date. What I’ve noticed is women are able to read your energy and sincerity. When I’m not confident in myself or when my energy is low, no matter what I say, it won’t work. The reverse is true.
Real talk. It's not about what you say, it's all in the energy and behavior.
Can be as confident as you want - there's still a multitude of other factors you convienently brush off but whatever.
@@404nonexistent In other words, the confidence has to be warranted. There needs to be some congruency and continuity between the energy that predicates how you look, behave, dress, speak, move, express your masculinity, etc.
@@404nonexistent it may not even be about you at all…. Women are looking for any reason to reject you… (in general). While men are looking for any reason to accept her.
@@404nonexistent He said energy and sincerity.
Here's why, I'm working from home and I don't like clubbing or music really, and all my interests revolve around computer so my outlets for meeting new people are near non existant. Broke out of a long relationship and all friends already have partners so I'm barely seeing them once or twice a month, and hanging out with new colleagues fizzled out as we're all WFH.
My social skills and the sense of humor have been actively degrading from years of living alone since college ended, so I'm basically an NPC now who can make friends somewhat easily, but not much more than that because I can't related to people, and don't have any personality traits that women want. I'm not outgoing or dominant, I don't care about career, money or ambition, and love spending time indoors. No girl I've ever meet goes wild for that.
lots of girls want to spend lots of time at home! The problem is finding them. You can't find them in social places. you don't fund these girls at clubs by definition. They won't use dating apps either because they don't want to do that. You have to observe and be sort of what might be perceived as creepy by some. You manufacture a meet cute of some sort and make her laugh. As long as you can make her laugh. That's what most people are happiest with unless they are the social types that have to go out all the time.
TEh secret is lots of girls are lonely and if you find a way to meet without acosting them, you'll succeed. If you fail, they'll be flattered.
When people try to pick up people, it's flattering if if the person isn't dressed like a sexual object. A typical humble person doesn't have that happen every day.
Many girls are waiting for almost anybody to enter their lives.
@@MicahMicahelI think you're right but the statistical probability of meeting a girl who likes this AND both of us being remotely interested in each other on top, is very slim. The main struggle of introverts is that your chances of meeting another like minded introvert (that is unless one of them prefers an exact opposite type of person) are astronomically low since neither of them has much social exposure. I'm not a hermit or anything but living ina medium/small sized town without many general events and without any niche group interests I could use to find someone, the options are very few indeed.
@@omarcomming722 You know I've picked up girls at art supply stores? A club is bad because you have no idea who the person is. Clubs are bad for talking. Music is too loud. Find a girl in a line up and chat her up. make her laugh. Give her your phone number. YOu have zero to lose. Pride hurts but not that much. Girls sometimes think being picked up unsuccessfully is creepy. That's the thing I hear now. It's always been that way to some extent. Who cares.
My line up idea makes it so you find other introverts. Artists are usually introverted. You find introverted products and lineups. It probably sounds creepy? does it? It's not. Our culture wants you to pick up people up online. That's anti human.
After you give your phone number the girl will think about it possibly and phone you up. It happened to me and I'm not a great looking guy. I guess I'm alright but I'm no Tom Cruise.
@@MicahMicahel I don't know man, IMO it takes more confidence to chat someone up at a random store line up than it does at the club even though the actual communication is easier.
I have no problem talking to men or women at house parties for example or any event where it would make sense for us to talk, but the little charm I have disappears completely when I'm talking to random strangers, even with neighbors from the building. I don't frequent any stores that are unique enough for there to be anything to talk about to a random person in the line, and being anxious and self conscious by default, it would be even worse with dozens of other people listening in.
Not to diminish your advice at all and I do think it's very valid, but it sounds like extrovert advice 101, I don't know of any introverts charmingly chatting people up in public places.
Keep looking. Some intelligent introvert-who makes a living and isn’t a gold digger-is hoping to meet somebody EXACTLY like you!
I'm what you'd call a celibate MGTOW. I don't date, have sex, or pursue relationships with women. I'm not an incel since I'm attractive, fit, educated, well off, and don't have (I don't think) major personality flaws. I'm not perfect, but if I put my mind to it I could hook up, I could date, I could probably get a relationship. In fact, I've had many short-term relationships, a few long-term relationships where marriage was on the table, and my fair share of flings and hookups.
So, I CHOOSE to be celibate. Honestly, it's been so long that I've been off the market and things have changed so much that I'm not really sure how I'd fare. I'm not keen on internet dating though I've done it a little in the past, and asking someone out cold that I didn't already know hasn't ever been my thing.
The problem is, society, women, feminists, most psychology professionals who study this, many "blue pill" men, and even some in the manosphere don't know and don't want to know why it is people take my route. They'd rather invent attributes, scenarios, and motivations a la straw men rather than genuinely find out.
I'll tell you straight up why I don't - it's too risky. Every relationship I've had ended badly, except for one that was more mutual. Badly meaning hard feelings and me ending up on the short end of the stick emotionally, financially, life situation, and psychologically. I've been lucky enough not to have been accused of anything untoward, but I think it's because I was extraordinarily careful.
So, I've been burned, badly, so much so that it's altered my life in significantly negative ways that I've never been able to recover from. I've also been hashed to shreds in family court - it played out in such a cliche way that hundreds of thousands of men would be able to identify with it, because the family courts are heavily skewed in favor of women.
I've also been badly sexually harassed at work by women who primarily were interested in me, mostly married women believe it or not, and when things didn't go their way they made my professional life a living hell. Had all that happened 10 years later, I probably would have been summarily fired and my career ruined, because of MeToo. I never did anything bad, just tried my best to gently reject, yes, their sexual harassment. Since MeToo and the common culture believe that it's men who harass and women are victims, and no one takes female on male sexual harassment seriously, I just had to live with it. The managers involved did the best they could, but HR and senior management weren't interested in hearing my side of things. The ONLY thing that saved me were saved emails and text messages proving my innocence. Again, if it were 10 years later they'd have fired me just to avoid the appearance of an issue.
I also am well aware of the countless horror stories of other men when it came to women and relationships, completely innocent men utterly destroyed.
It's just too risky. Men face real-world ruination. If it were just a matter of bruised egos and hurt feelings, I could live with that. As it is, innocent men all over are falsely accused or completely turned inside out by family courts, or even in prison. Women face no such issues.
Sure, there are decent women out there, but every relationship I've been in started out thinking I was with a decent woman. Most of them turned out to be far from it. Any one of them could have made my life 100x worse, if again it were only a few years later.
But, trying to sort out the decent women from the good ones is an impossible task, and every woman we date is a crap shoot. We have NO idea what's really going on in her mind, what kind of person she is, what she might be like in 1 year, or 5 years, or 20 years. All it takes is one to destroy a man's life, and society absolutely couldn't care less about that man.
You want to know why many, if not most, men don't date, or are very reluctant to do so? Try talking to them. Have long conversations with MGTOW, not the freshly minted ones, but ones who have been one for a while. Most men may not be MGTOWs, but MGTOWs can articulate what most men feel about it.
I have yet to see any real effort on this, because most people don't want to know. They'd rather just espouse how evil men are, or simply how cowardly men are for not "stepping up".
Dead on point. The worst is when you get married. You ain't see nothing until you do. It's a lose, lose situation.
If it goes well, you suffer cause you are working harder to keep it going. And you'll die before her....anyhow
If it goes bad, the blame is on you.. and you're ruined.
I've been there for 20years of my active life
In your camp. If it needs a name, "VolCel". And it's not so much preference as a necessity (these days in the West).
^ OP
You are an "Incel".
(INtentionally CELibate).
People try to use this term as an Insult. But the reality is, people are trash. Why spend your life pursuing people who don't give a rip about you. Except to father their child who's purpose is to be their lifestyle accessory. One for which You have to pay them bi-weekly for 18+ years for them to possess.
It's tragic. But women buy the modern "feminist" lies without actually thinking them through.
You're on point...the juice is not worth the squeeze. These guys only focus on women and an outdated concept of masculinity... it's all about economics... basically the majority of men have been left behind by the dating market because the standards are way too high... it's not about having a decent income...its about status, appearance, female perception and on top of that all the legal and social risks...Too much work and risk for just having a relationship with a woman.
Interesting that getting drunk at young age and engaging in sexual activity with another drunken person can be looked at a positive light. Especially when it is not a positive experience for most people.
When women do this they are called sluts and when they don't they are bitches for not sleeping with men.
For most people? Speak for yourself.
@@Torgomasta You beat me to it. Lol
Another good one from Chris. To everything that has been said and discussed in this podcast I would also add this simple idea that people come with a lot of bullshit and that these days there are more and more people who are not willing to put up with it. Which is partly why people are giving up on relationships and dating altogether.
so around 51 mins you told us that there are many sites that let you try different hairstyles and styles in general. could you help a brother out and tell me which ones? i really love your work, it is becoming my favorite podcast because subjects here can actually help me become better man.
If you haven't had Adam Lane Smith on you should. Pretty much everything this guy had to say lined up perfectly with Attachment Theory and how bad Attachment effects romantic relationships.
Almost everyone is broken and, most tragically, most have no idea they are or how to even try and fix it.
He's had him on twice. It's on the videos list awhile back. It's one of his most popular episodes. Makayla Peterson saw him on here and then had him on her podcast and that became one of her most popular episodes that's really good. I've watched his episodes multiple times they're so good. Just type in his name and their names or podcast on here and it'll come up.
I'm going to die alone and virgin, I've accepted that and learning to find happiness somewhere else and giving up on women.
Whether you are perceived as creepy seems to be entirely dependent on whether the girl finds you attractive or not.
My girlfriends and I were discussing men being considered ‘creepy’ recently and in essence it depends on whether or not we like you (you’re funny, kind, come across well) or find you attractive; two men could say the same thing and the one we like would be considered confident / funny etc and the one we don’t would be considered creepy, an undercurrent could be that the ‘creep’ tried to take the chat sexual or came across leering out of the gate… We also wondered if men have a similar thing in the reverse?
Yup.
But since most are low on confidence, "ugly" women have it easier by just being cool or funny
It's the Halo effect. It's well studied that when we find someone attractive, we assume everything about them is better. It's an unconscious bias in everyone.
I don't know if it is as well studied, but there is also a reverse effect were we are bias to thinking ugly people are worse at everything else
@@KingRyanoles I will read about that, didn't know it had a name!
But yeah, we tend to be more agreeable with good looking people
This is true!
The world of not dating is exquisite!
Interesting discussion!
I was working at Microsoft at the time Bill and Melinda became an item and can say that Melinda was NOT a receptionist. She was a Product Manager for what product I can't recall. She did work on "Bob" but I can't recall whether that was after they were already dating. Anyway, the point is that she was in a considerably higher position at Microsoft than a receptionist. I'm sure she had a fairly impressive academic career and is very smart.
>>Anyway, the point is that she was in a considerably higher position
Even back in the day, confident blokes always got laid. It was the classic joke about the guy going up to every girl and saying "hey fancy a f***". One responds "don't you get a lot of rejections?" and he says "yes, but I get a fair amount of f**ks too". In the same way that sales people very quickly get used to being told "no" by prospective customers, it's the same with men chatting up women. The more you do it, the less you get bothered about rejection, and you ultimately get better with practice.
Cringe.
Only works if you are low in neuroticism to begin with, otherwise the constant rejection will just degrade your self esteem, and if you live in a big city.
Do that in a town and you'll eventually get a negative reputation as some awkward loser desperately hounding women at bars. And even if you succeed, at the end of the day you're just having meaningless sterile casual sex with strangers. Bars aren't the places you find stable women for long term relationships.
Stop being a degenerate.
@@malcontentmongreloid5486 It wasn't autobiographical.
GREAT conversation.
I remember 8 yrs ago when I was single I grabbed some lunch. There was a cute guy sitting across from me and we smiled at each other and had some eye contact. I then finished my lunch and left and went into a book shop a few doors down the road. I never gave the interaction a 2nd thought then I turned the corner and the same guy was there asking for my name and if I had Mexican food often and what book was I shopping for etc. I was so surprised he followed me into another store and asking all these questions and I regret I was very socially awkward with him which no doubt come across as rude or not interested. Before I could apologise he said “whatever” and abruptly left. I tried to follow him to apologise but he was gone. I think sometimes those interaction are so outside the norm for both sexes now it can lead to a bad or awkward experience. I still feel bad and hope the cute guy has now found his dream girl.
Yes its its women's fault coz they make whole experience awkward, you liked the guy but still ruined it and imagine what happened when girl doesn't like guy(90% of time) and he approach in broad daylight?
Too much screen time cauzed loss of of social skills
Dude, why did you even have to comment?
There have always been shy girls, and you making out that it's all spawned from the internet is.. very telling.
@@muzungu9625 Anger is not the answer.
Lmao I genuinely hope you're not blaming yourself entirely for that interaction. His social skills were whack too
The kind words at the end of your comment were really nice. I hope everything goes well for you too!
On line dating is the most ridiculous thing in the world. No wonder no one is finding good relationships.
I love this guys voice/accentuation.
I feel he can say “one does not simply….” really well
Melinda Gate wasn't a receptionist at MS. She was a product manager.
In my long pool of experience holding the "I don't want to seem creepy" thought at the forefront of my thinking has only increased the odds that may happen. It's somewhere in my mind as a baseline understanding but it's not the main thing I think about. Over time you just build up a sense of self and sense of other people and sense of motive that doesn't come off as creepy. How always carries far more than the what. The exact same words can be said by the same person animated by two totally different spirits drastically change the nature of the interaction
Edit - Don't discount the effect of serial killer docus and general murder and crime docu's. They are incredibly popular especially with the ladies and it does add a certain layer of pause because many of these shows play out the situation of the "Guy who seemed normal at first but ended up being a killer or rapist" or whatever. Which in it's self is good and well the more safe women are the better but it is also common to assemble common traits among these sort of men and if one trait is identified it's a red flag. I've also seen it somewhat common for women to say "Well step one is making sure this person isn't a murderer." Again overall a good thing but I definitely think the viewing of these murder and crime series contributes to hesitancy.
It only matters if she finds you attractive. If she doesn't, you're a creep. That's it.
@@DrGingerHamster Yeah I can see that. There's the attractive/neutral/unattractive spectrum and it deeply effects what she does with the energy you put out. I will say though sometimes the difference between unattractive and attractive is as simple as how you're animated in combined sum. The "vibe recognition" proliferation we've seen
As an early Millennial, I can confidently say that beginning in the 90's, young people really started to be told that making someone "uncomfortable" with an inappropriate comment or advance was something to be avoided. Previous generations were not taught to be so uptight. Pre-1990's, if a female (much less a guy) complained about feeling "uncomfortable", people would just tell that person to deal with it and move on.
"Creepy" is a word whamin use to shame and manipulate others. Simple as that. What one whamin calls "creepy" another would think nothing of. The fact that we're looking to whamin as "righteous judges" is absolute foolishness.
& yet some seek out and marry serial killers...logic not part of the ladies world
These interviews are some of the best content I’ve seen in a very long time! Great job gents!
😂😂😂
I love the first studies, 85% of women find men creepy but 85% of women want men to approach.
I mean we get it, they don't want us ugly ones near them.
Right there with you dawg. Right there with you.
Do you guys like ugly girls? Would you date one?
Opt for a yellow Labrador Retreiver. They love ❤️ sandwiches and will fetch one out of the fridge for you on command. Plus they never have to put on their make up. Man's best friend for a reason.
@@quantumpotential7639 spoken like someone who has never heard about basic human needs.
It’s a woman today on IG say many men are predators which is based on known research and isn’t true lol.
The peacock thing is spot on. Women are picking dudes like "Lets breed in characteristics that will get us killed as a species in the long term because IT LOOKS NICE"
because women suck at choosing long term partners. They always have. when divorce is initiated 70% of the time by women 50% of the marries that happen end in divorce. almost 37% of women are single mothers. Yeah. They suck at picking who to sleep with.
People are doing that, not just women. How is it benafitial to society for men to pick women with big tits?
@@JasonGulbin Stronger babies
@@user-og6hl6lv7p Big tits don't equate to strength.
@@user-og6hl6lv7p most of those big tits are fake so they won't be genetically beneficial
1:04:55 Man, yes, it happened to me. I have invested myself into a marriage and gained nothing but an ache. And my story yet has a comparatively (to the others who run through a divorce) good ending, but still I lost 6 years for the sake of the sexless marriage and wife's constant dissatisfaction (she either was bored or depressed while spending all her days in the bed searching IG for another stupid idea of how to make her self-awareness even more miserable), and what I gained from it? Well, gained an experience which led me to the Red pill community.
@@kc6810 Hah, I just married a regular woman. I have commited to her and she got bored like every other women are) I'm sure that her depression was just a reflection of a feeling that she could do better (i.e. she deserves more). Right before I broke up with her, she literally stated that she wants to have fun until her 40s. And it is common as far as I am aware now. Not just me was unlucky, it just we as a western society treat them far too well. I suspect they would be much more happy if we put them in hijabs and take off their social media accounts))
Yeah, friend, it happens to the best of em. Don't give up, just get real good at vetting the next woman. There are good women out there, I promise you.
@@_deadeye I will be ok, thank you friend)
@@kc6810 while I personally don't disagree with you... you married 33 years ago. dating and relationships have drastically changed since then.
and cases like yours a long marriage get rarer and rarer.
50% of marriages end in divorce these days. and the average length is 8 years now.
so meaning he technically speaking he is 2 years below that average.
marriage these days is a scam (for men) anyways, nothing but designed to take everything from men, when the divorce will happen in a few years.
@@kc6810 Isn't all these location based too? Where are you from?
I think you might be from somewhere which is a more socially conservative place with strong emphasis on marriage and family and he is more from a place with socially liberal attitudes where emphasis is more on having "fun" ("till the 40s" as he stated.)
Great pod Chris thank you! I am a recent listener and I have to say that your podcast is now at the top of my list. I find the "decline in sexual desire" to be a fascinating topic/subject. It seems that there is a trend for alternative sexual outlets amongst the 40-50 year old's and it is not being discussed due to its taboo nature. The alternatives include, Polyamory, Swinging, Hotwife'ing, Cuckolding, Threesomes, Foursomes, and many more.
Whether or not practicing one of these alternatives is within the moral code monogamy, it is happening on a larger scale than many care to to admit.
I personally am not advocating for one of these outlets, but I can tell you without a doubt that there are a huge amount of people within the world from ALL walks of life who are definitely participating in this non-monogamous lifestyle.
There is much more on the topic and it would be a pleasure to discuss more sometime.
Thanks again man for finding your true self and sharing with the world!
People no longer need to get together out of necessity.
So it's time to stay apart out of convenience.
The globalists do want to depopulate the planet
Well put
On the other hand, if two incomes aren’t enough to support housing and/or kids, then living with parents again does not feel like “relieved from necessities”